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This year i am in 8th grade and i go to a school that doesn't feed into the high school i am going to. The school i go to is more ghetto and has gangs and bad students, and minority students. I am a black. The high school I am going to is more high class and more white people, I'm scared either 1 everyone will not like me, or 2 everyone will be my friend because i am black, and back stab me behind my back. How can I get over this fear? (link)
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I can tell you not to worry about it but, you will anyway. Once you get to school you will make friends. Those who want to be friends just because you're black will be found out soon enough. You'll be able to tell.
Don't worry about making no friends at all though. That just won't happen. There will be a lot of nice kids at the new school who will make really good friends. Being nervous about it is normal. You will do fine. :)
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pls i want to know if it is bad for me to have a girlfriend if i am not ready to marry. (link)
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No it isn't bad at all. You should date lots of different girls in order to find that special one you want to marry. You date one for a while and if she isn't the one, you try another and see if the next one is. :)
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I need advice: Today in the afternoon when I came home (at 3PM) there was a message on my answering machine. One of my coworkers called to ask if I wanted to join them at the street fair (ending at 6PM) a block away from our office. I called her back and told her that I could not join them due to the fact my family was taking my mom out to dinner (at 6:30PM) to celebrate her birthday. My coworker told me that at the street fair jewelry was being sold (the jewelry I buy the 99 cent that look expensive). About a half hour after my coworker and I finished our telephone conversation I started to talk to my mom about the street fair. My mom said; Just to go to the street for a half hour to get a necklace is a waste, I am not going to wait for you - I am not missing my birthday celebration, you would go there for an hour and then come back and you would get back around the time we have to leave to go to dinner, when you can get this jewelry on Monday it is different if you went there for the day and went to enjoy but not just to go there and back to buy this jewelry on Monday; I asked her: would you feel this way if we were not going out to dinner; and she said; no that is different: SO MY QUESTION: AM I OVERREACTING AND HOW WOULD YOUR INTERPRET WHAT SHE SAID:
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I think your mom was looking forward to going to dinner for her birthday with the family. When you said you wanted to go to this fair, just to get jewelery that you can buy any other day of the week,
you kind of hurt her feelings. It may have appeared
(though not intentional) that going for jewelery was more important than her.
I understand that you may have been back before they left for dinner, but sometimes unforeseen things happen. Traffic may have been heavy, there may have been long lines to wait in to pay for jewelery, any number of things could have made you late.
So yes, I do think you overreacted just a bit. :)
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my boyfriend punches me alot and calls me a whore,slut,hoe etc. i usually am good about hiding the bruises his friends tell me he doesnt mean it and should take him serious. he always apoligizes and i have been with him for a year and hes always nice to me. so i forgive him but im afraid of him. im not oignt oo dump him. does anyone have any toher advice? (link)
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There really is no other advice to give. Abusers apologize so you will stay. They also want to keep you quiet. Here are the signs of an abusive relationship. Read them and if anything is familiar, Do as the adviser before me said and GET OUT NOW! This is taken from http://www.harborcov.org/pages/domestic_violence/warning_signs.asp
Warning Signs of Abuse
Does your partner...
* push, hit, choke or threaten to hurt you?
* put you down, call you names or stop you from going where you want?
* keep you from talking to your family or friends?
Are You With Someone Who.....
* is jealous and possessive toward you, won't let you have friends, checks up on you, or won't accept breaking up?
* tries to control you by being very bossy, giving orders, and making all the decisions?
* doesn't take your opinion seriously?
* frightens you? Do you find yourself worrying about how they will react to things you say or do?
* threatens you?
* uses or owns weapons?
* is violent, has a history of fighting, loses his temper quickly, or brags about mistreating others?
* pressures you for sex, is forceful or intimidating in sexual situations?
* thinks women or girls are sex objects?
* attempts to manipulate or guilt-trip you by saying "If you really loved me you would..."
* gets too serious about the relationship too fast?
* abuses drugs or alcohol and pressures you to take them?
* blames you when they mistreat you, and then says you provoked them, pressed their buttons, made them do it, or led them on?
* has a history of bad relationships and blames the other person for all the problems. "Women just don't understand me"?
* believes that men should be in control and powerful and that women should be passive and submissive?
Remember, you don't have to have broken bones or a black eye to be abused. You may be experiencing emotional abuse. which can lead to physical abuse.
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Hi I'm back. It's just that I find it hard to be myself, because I'm a rather rough girl. I talk rough. I say things like "shit" "dammnit" "damn shit" "I hate it like shit", etc. I'm not gentle at all.
And if I were to be myself, I'd be rough and it'll turn him off, I guess. So that makes up a large part of the reason why I can't be myself infront of him. So it's really tough...And I'm someone who pretty much talk like that all the time. So I feel very surpressed and ..not good. (link)
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My favorite word too!
If you are friends now though, he has heard the way you talk and must not have a problem with it. So talk the way hes used to hearing you talk. Otherwise
he is going to be thinking "uh oh, what did I do wrong? Shes acting different all of a sudden." Then he will try and watch what he says and you both quit talking. You're both not comfortable anymore.
If hes not heard you talk that way before then he may as well get used to it if hes going to hang around with you! Just don't try and be someone you are not. It won't work out if you do. Sooner or later you will get tired of stifling yourself and then hes gonna wonder what happened. :)
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more to the question from me about my mom and my friends. my brother dated when he was 10 his girlfriend cameover allthe time. and if i tell my mom about my friends that would get a restraining order probly. my friends and i love rock black grey brown red i also wear dresses and long pants one other person does to my friends all have atleast 5 peircings i cant get any i really want my cartlidge and lobes we all cuss and flipp people off and just talk perverted all the time all their other friends are guys too they dye and cut their hair interesting ways and how we dance together as friends and separate they all kiss alot of guys to there violent. how do i tell my mom that? im just like them and i change once i leave the house. (link)
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Maybe mom is right not to like them then. All moms hope their kids grow up to be respectful of others.
If your friends are violent (and you too) then I could understand why she wouldn't want you hanging out with them.
Nothing wrong with liking rock. I like it myself.
Nothing wrong with piercings either if you are into them. You shouldn't be allowed them until you are 18 though. Some of them can get down right gross over time and make life very hard for those who have them. Once grown up you can't take it back. Better make those decisions when you know where your life is headed. Doesn't hurt to hear mom out on why she doesn't like those things.
Talking perverted and flipping people off is just a kid thing. All do it. Doesn't make people good or bad unless they do it all their lives. Childish behavior however won't gain you points with mom.
Should be something you want to grow out of soon anyway.
But all these things can be talked about with your mom. Your friends surely have some good qualities.
If they didn't you wouldn't be friends with them.:)
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Before I go on, I have to say this is nothing bout me liking the guy and all that.
I have a good guy friend, we can really talk a lot and all. Just recently, we started talking more. It seems like we have endless things to talk bout, but today, we went out (it was the first time we went out) and I felt it was so... wierd...I don't know..it was awkward at times. It was like as if we were out on a date but we're not. It's actually just normal going out like friends going out but it didnt felt like it. It felt like a whole stupid first date thing. I hated it. Whenever I go out with a guy, just a guy alone, I'd get really wierd. Like I'd try to minimise any actions or whatsover. If I were to accidentally hit someone, I won't dare to say sorry because I'm afraid of him looking at me, or him having his attention on me. I become very self conscious. Like when we were ordering food, I don't dare to order the food. I leave it to him to do it. I don't know. And I DON"T EVEN like the guy! I really really don't. Everything just goes wrong. I become like some wierd, nerdy, stupid uncool asshole. How can I stop that? I would very much like to be his good friend, and I don't want to like him and I don't want him to like me either. Do you people know what I'm talking about? I don't even know what I'm asking. BAH. Whatever. (link)
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I understand what you're saying. As a rule you are in places comfortable to you both. Its familiar. You suddenly are doing something "date like" and it makes you wonder. :)
This is the whole thing that destroys dating a friend. Not that you are, but its the same thing.
Suddenly you feel the need to have approval. You watch what you say and do because suddenly you have a need not to look like a fool in front of each other. Don't want to make the other person mad at you or think you are human!
First time going out is over now. Date or friends, it doesn't matter,(I kind of agree with the adviser who said you may really like each other). You now have to step back and tell yourself not
to suddenly treat each other special. You already like each other. You have no need to impress each other. You have always talked and nobody got mad about what you said to each other. You have to talk. Be yourself. :)
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female i just turned 13. my mom ruined everything. i had a carnival at school today. she was the chaperone and one other person for my grade. yesterday me and my bestfriend(a guy) had a great time at our track practice. my first time doing track in my life his second. im good at it i guess. he really cares for me. we do the hurdles and high jump and a relay together. im bad at hurdles i hit half of them and fell over two. he was there for me he laughed at me(in a nice fun way we're like that to eachother) i have fun with him alot. we also love eachother which we held it off for a longtime because i didnt wana lose my bestfriend. id rather have a bestfriend than a boyfriend. but we hug alot and we kiss. we just love eachother. he was going to ask me out today at school. my mom is very controling. she hates my friends and she wont let any come over ever were the punky goths. hes real prep. but i love him he loves me everyone knows. my mom doesnt let me wear the chains and every thing but i do when i leave home. she always says everything wrong about my friends. well my mom would keep him away and always watching she stops us dancing me and him or my other friends even me with my (girl)friends as friends. we did the music my mom was always watching. i just hate it. in her words 'stay away from all thoes fucked up punk no lifes' MY MOM SAYS THAT TO ME at the party usually anywhere. my mom doesnt even know the real me. i have to hide my music and clothes and everything. on my ipod i make my songs i like 'hidden' so you have to hold two buttons to see them. my mom ruined it all. she stops me from dancing as friends with him and my other friends. WHATS SO WRONG WITH ME! my BEST FRIEND canot even comeover ever. so i see him at school and parties or when i go to the mall. i yell at my mom she doesnt leave me alone.
how do i get her to leave me alone? is there anything wrong with hugging and kissing my bestfriend romanticly? how do i get my mom to stop and leave me alone? why is it so bad for my bestfriend to be a guy? how do i get my mom to leave me alone shes making my life worse ill wear even more black? why it so bad. and anything else i forgot. please im going crazy (link)
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You got a lot of teen years with mom ahead. If you want to get along you will have to talk. You may not want to, but nothing gets solved without it. It doesn't mean you will agree on everything, it doesn't mean you won't get mad at each other.
I'll bet your mom doesn't like not getting along either. Just tell her you'd like to talk (instead of yell) about some things so you will get along better. She will probably be happy to do that.
Start with your wardrobe. Tell her WHY you like to wear black. Some parents believe the stereotypes and think it means you are up to all kinds of weird stuff. Assure her that isn't the case. Tell her your friends are normal kids, they just dress differently.
Your friends. Tell her all about them. Why you like them, what their parents do for a living etc.
Parents also fear the unknown. So tell her who and about those people. If she has questions, answer them.
Not a bad idea to have her ask you questions. What is it she wants to know. What is she afraid of.
Ask her questions. Why can't they come visit me?
Didn't she dress different from her parents when she was a kid? Just talk.
She probably still won't approve of her 13 year old dating or anything. Nothing wrong with that.
Start to early and it usually leads to disaster anyway. Ask her reasons why though. Always. Not in
one of those hand on hip attitude ways either. :)
Get to know your mom in a different, more grown up way. You may not agree, but if you understand the reasons and just talk to each other, you will earn some respect and maybe even a little more freedom.
If you'd like some tips on how to talk to your mom, follow this link to some sites that will help
you to talk to her. :)
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ive fallen in love with my bestfriend. hes so awesome and funny and all and he isnt serious very often. how do i ask him out?
thanks so much. (link)
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Just ask him to go someplace you would both enjoy.
Don't be afraid he will say no. If he does you'll still be friends. There are a lot of good sites with tips on how to ask a friend out. The ehow site is especially good. So if you want some good tips on how to go about it, check some of these sites. :)
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my eyelashes are getting really thin and when i take my masacara off some come off too. they're just not the way they used to be. i used to have thick long eyelashes and now they're just thin and frail. is there any enhancer i can use or nutrient? (link)
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You actually lose eyelashes all the time. From what I've read losing them in clumps is not uncommon at all. You may want to get your thyroid checked by a doctor, that can make them fall out too. If it isn't that though, know you aren't alone and they do grow back. If you would like to read about others with the same problem or just want more info, check out some of these sites. :)
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I have ADHD and I was put on Adderall around Janruary. I've noticed a HUGE differance, like I use to be failing EVERY subject but now I have all 90's+!
That bad thing is that I've lost more than ten pounds while being on it. Everyone has noticed a huge differance in my weight and people hint to me that I need to it. It's not my fault that I have no appetite when I'm on it.
And people say if I lose anymore weight I'll be too skinny.
I am 5'5" and a little under 110lbs.
Also, my mom always asks if I ate breakfast and whatever.. I don't like being treated like I'm aneorexic! (link)
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Weight loss is a side effect of the drug. Sounds like you already know that. I suggest talking to your mom and even your friends about it. If you get really concerned or if your Mom does, your doctors nurse can reassure her/you that this is what it is.
Just simply tell your friends the weight loss is because of a medication you are taking and it will level out when your body is used to it.
If you continue to lose a lot of weight you may want to discuss it with your doctor. Like all medications, once your body gets used to it, the weight loss will probably stop.
Switching medications probably won't do a lot of good since they all could cause weight loss. It seems to be helping you in school so it is working as it should be.
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hi im 15/f. and there is this guy i REALLY like and we talk everyday abiut EVERYTHING. i can tell him my deepest darkest secrets without him flipping out and thinking im weird. he sees me for who i am and not just that stupid short kid. but im not sure if he likes me. how do i figure it out? (link)
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If any guy will let you tell them your secrets without blabbing to everyone he knows, he likes you.
I think this guy likes you. :)
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I sent this to one of my guy friends. Our friendship is... complicated. He's basically in denial that I like him; its kinda cute, actually. So I sent him this message on myspace:
what are you doing on Friday?
If you're not doing anything,
do you wanna go see Spiderman 3?
You're like, the only one of my friends interested in seeing it that isn't already going (as far as I know)
My mom'll give us a ride to Millbury, and I might drag you to the bookstore afterwards (just warning you in advance) =]
Let me know soon, k? I'll order advance tickets.
Does it sound like I'm asking him out on a date?
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It sounds like it could be a date. Don't worry about it though. If you want to go out with him its a good way to see if he'll go with you. :)
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I am kind of in a predicament here. Or at least I feel really confused. (It is quite long, I’m sorry)
My boyfriend and I have been dating for quite a while, nearly a year. I love him a lot and I feel that things were going smoothly. However, a few weeks ago his ex came back to NY. (She had moved to VA before) And I felt that it was nothing really. The background is that he had dated her for a long time as well, about two years or so and from his friends, they told me that he really liked her (when they were dating) and the reason they broke up was because she had to move to VA and because she thought she’ll be leaving permanently, they decided to stop their relationship so it won’t drag on.
So I guess that isn’t really the problem but I can’t help but feel queasy when I see them together. They are hanging out together a lot nowadays. They way they laugh at each others jokes and how she smiles at him, is just getting me nervous. But she is a really nice person at least to everyone around her. However sometimes when she talks to me I feel that her smile is kind of forced. I guess it is just an instinct or maybe I am just paranoid. But I mean that her smile is really bright and she seems really happy but her eyes don’t tell me that. They are still and solemn despite her smile. Maybe I am just imagining things but I can’t help but feel…insecure I guess? I know it sounds really childish to be jealous when there probably isn’t anything wrong.
I feel kind of bad to be thinking this way and feeling that there is something going on…but I just can’t help the feeling. I talked to my closest friend and she tells me she understands. (She tells me she doesn’t like his ex either) So I have no idea now. I just don’t know if…my feelings are right or should I just stop thinking senselessly and acting childish? Should I just let things go and pretend to be alright? I don’t want to talk to my boyfriend because I love him and I don’t want to be not trusting him (I feel so guilty inside for thinking and feeling this way, it seems as if I don’t trust him but I really do- I just can’t help…) And it is not that he is neglecting me. He has been really sweet throughout our time together, and despite his ex’s arrival, he is still really nice to me. What should I do? Is it wrong to feel such a way? Am I considered selfish to feel queasy when I see them? Is it considered a lack of trust? I just…don’t know.
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You're not being childish. You having a natural reaction to an odd situation.
You really need to sit your boyfriend down and explain your feelings to him. Ask him if there are any lingering feelings for his ex. You want to hope not, but then again why prolong the agony of not knowing. We fear the unknown so get some answers from him about what he is feeling.
You seem to be handling this in a very mature way. I do hope you get the answers you are wanting to hear. :)
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this is super long, sorry!
Alright, I'm 16/f, and there's a guy I like, he's almost 18. I'd think we're pretty good friends, we met at the beginning of the school year, and we were assigned to work together on a year-long project. He's totally sweet and cute, and one of my good guy friends.
He has a girlfriend (i've seen them together, and she treats him terribly, and they always fight, but apparantly now they've exchanged promise rings?), he's only mentioned her to me twice, not by name, and one time he mumbled and lowered his voice when he said it.
He's ALWAYS doing flirty things. We've talked a LOT about important things. I'll give you some examples:
-ear blowing
-leg rubbing
-back massages
-ALWAYS doing silly stuff/stuff to freak me out, like giving me a condom for christmas
-one time, he said that my shirt was interesting, and i got all confused, and he said don't worry about it and was going to pat me on the shoulder but i freaked and said, 'no, don't, i have cat hair on it,' and he said, 'oh, okay, then,' and started to walk away, ran back to me, ran his hand down my arm, and grinned.
-he's talked about how nervous he is for college, and how one time he got so stressed out that he experimented with weed.
-he's always doing favors for me.
-he asked me to do his stage makeup for him, and was teasing me about whether or not i knew what i was doing (I thought he was serious, but my friend, who i completely trust and would not lie to me told me he said it jokingly)
-but recently, he's started giving me handshakes, which are apparantly done in a jokey way as well
This is only a scratch on the surface of all of the things that have happened. Should I tell him I like him? Does he like me (my friends who've seen us together think so.) He's a senior, and so will be going to college (6 hours away, where his gf goes, too), we're friends on facebook so we can keep in touch through that. but time is running out, I need to know what I need to do. I don't want to mess up our friendship, but I feel like I'm lying to him by not telling him how I feel.
Thanks if you can help! (link)
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I agree with Tina. You really need to use caution with this one. He is 18 and going away soon. He has a girlfriend and has given her a pre-engagement promise ring. That means they are serious. Fight all the time or not.
He could just be a real friendly guy or he could be
using you too. Ear blowing and leg rubbing are not something you want your guy doing to another girl.
If you look at it like that, he isn't real trustworthy. He does those things to you, he could
easily do it with others.
Hes going to college with her. That should tell you something. Don't do anything you will be embarrassed by later. :)
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14/f
ok, so i have a huge crush on this guy. ive liked him since about november. we usuaully flirt and talk and normal stuff. i just cant tell if he likes me or not. well, just yesterday his girlfriend broke up with him. they had only been together for about 2 weeks. so i want to know, how should i approach him? now that he's single, should i tell him i like him? should i start flirting more? any advice is appreciated. (link)
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I don't think I would make a big change in the way you treat him. Some guys jump right back into dating and others take their time. You say SHE broke up with him, so it may take time for him to be over her. If you act different all of a sudden you might scare him off.
So just talk to him as you normally would. If you don't usually talk to him start. He will know you are interested. :)
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this is the third time me and my bf have gone out (13/F BTW, hes 13 too) and so usually everythings good, till he says somthing wierd and makes me not like him anymore. Like he says that We shuld hav sleep overs or somthing and i am like really wanting to ask him if hes on drugs or somthing. we go to a religious school and serously, 13 year old girls do not have sleepovers with boys!! and so i call him out on it and he goes like "i didnt mean anything bad just so we can hang out! i want to spend time with you!" and he tries to coveer for it but i dont buy it so he goes "oh im so horiable i mess everything up" and like, gosh is that a reason to break up with sombody?? like, im so not like that. i have madeout with him and like yeah but now im a new person, and no more of that and im a good girl now and looking back at stuff hes said, im really not okay with it. but when i call him out on it, he just ratiionolizes and then does the whole "i suck im horiable im so bad i mess everything up" thing and i dont know what to do. i need your honest opinion. do i break up with him or not?!?
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I agree with AskJr. If you feel the need to break up
do it. Listen to your instincts.
Hes may not be on drugs, hes just the result of surging hormones. Some guys just control it a little better than he does. Find yourself one of those guys. You're much to young for all the emotional upheaval this relationship is causing.
Don't be made to feel guilty by that "I suck I'm so horrible" line, he kind of does and kind of is...just tell him your not ready for that kind of relationship yet. :)
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I like this guy and he rides my bus. i try to be as flirty as possible but he just doesnt seem to be interested in me. He thinks im really quiet and shy and stuff but im not! We talk and stuff but he doesnt really act like other guys and be all "flirty" with me... How do i get him to notice me and how do i get him to like me?
Thanks:]
i appreciate it (link)
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Not all guys are flirts. Some are just talkers and acting like flirts would just not turn out well.
If he talks to you then he probably likes you. He is noticing you! So skip the flirting and just talk. To someone who doesn't flirt, flirting can seem a little immature. Not saying you are, just that in his eyes it may seem that way.
So just talk. Thats your way of letting him get to know you better. Could lead to lots of good things! :)
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well there this boy i like and he is one of my guy friends too so the other day my bff vicky wrote a note saying "why are u always mean to jenny" he says "i hate her" so i told my friend why he hates me but he changes the subject what does that mean? (link)
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I'm kind of confused. Are you asking him why he hates you and hes changing the subject? Thats what I'm going to go with. :)
He is changing the subject because he is embarrassed would be my guess. He either wrote it as a joke or regrets having written it. Whatever the case he didn't want your hearing it.
You don't mention how old he is but guys can be really weird. If he is one of your friends I doubt he really hates you.
Corner him away from others and tell him you don't want him changing the subject on you again. You really want to know if he actually hates you or not. If you get brave tell him because you like him. Tell him you aren't mad just upset because you THOUGHT you were friends. Don't let him weasel
out of it. Get an answer. :)
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So I'm pretty much in love with this guy, and I asked him out in January and we went to a movie. It wasn't a bad date- and I kissed him on the cheek after- but anyway...
I saw him this evening at my acting class and I said "Hi George!" and he blushes and actually smiles really hugely (and he NEVER smiles- unless he sees me... he's kinda serious) and says "Heyy" and then he went straight into the bathroom...
He's kind of a shy person and well he didn't call me after our first date- but i'm confident that he still wants to date me/is interested. So I want to call him and ask him on another date- but what should I do? Bowling? (it can't be another movie because he told his little sister that he wished that we had done something where we could have actually talked and gotten to know each other)
plz give me advice and date suggestions- and what to say on the phone call.
he makes my heart stop. I need to be with him.
so help! thx (link)
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I wish you would have told us how old you are. :)
I will suggest a trip to the zoo. Good for all ages.
Great opportunity to stroll around and talk. Look at the animals, sit down and have a soda with more chat. Possibly a picnic lunch. So, if you have a zoo in your town it would be ideal.
If you don't have a zoo nearby anything like that will do. Museum...anywhere you can take your time
walking around (maybe hand holding!)and talking.
Just call and tell him you'd like to go to the zoo (or wherever), don't want to go alone and thought maybe he'd like to come with you. You enjoyed his company at the movies but didn't really get to talk very much.
Good luck and have fun! :)
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