Gender:
MaleMember Since:
June 18, 2009Answers:
8136Last Update:
May 26, 2019Visitors:
140777Favorite Columnists
karenR
AyyItsKristen
Erinn_the_bamf
Xui
storageanddisposal
lvr
Smartone
bewise
GradingCurve
anonymous99
HildaJrCarter
more...
Main Categories:
General Sex Questions
Abusive Relationships
Cooking
View All
about
My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
advice
My husband is a bit old fashion and doesnt feel we need anything in the bedroom thats new, and we barely ever have sex yet he insists hes happy. Well im pretty UNHAPPY, and want either more sex, or be allowed to use toys if i feel. He does not agree with ANY kind of toys.
I recently discovered the newer toy called the sybian, its uses nothing but vibration. I know that they retail for about 1400 bucks but i found a way to make my own for a fraction of the price! the only problem is i cant tell my husband....
my question is, is it better to own a toy like this and never tell him (risking him discovering it because they arent that easy to hide if your place isnt that large) ORRRR tell him, make the thing anyway, and risk him feeling sad, and or calling me a sex addict because i want it more then he does??
how do i have this talk with him and what can i do to turn him onto toys or at least be OK with them?
As a registered user I can see that you are or where 18 when you registered. I can't tell how long you have been a user of this site so I am left to wonder how old you are today and how old your husband is.
As to your husband not wanting anything new in the bedroom; well to that you can say to each his own. What does bother me a bit is his lack of desire. If this is a big change from when you were dating or is a sudden change then there may be another cause for it. (I will answer your actual question at the end of my thoughts concerning your husband.)
Here again I am at a loss as to a specific reason due to lack of information so I can only give you the most common reasons and they do not include and neither do I believe he is cheating on you. Lack of sexual desire in a you man can indicate a serious medical problem or could be religious training. If it were religious training I believe you would have known this prior to marrying him.
This leave medical problem(s) as a potential cause. The biggest cause is stress; this can be work related or from other problems. Stress causes depression. Depression causes stress it is a cycle that needs to be broken in order to recover from the actual problem. Then there could be a more organic problem such as Low-T or other hormonal problem/ There are other problems such as problems with the prostate but if he is your same age this should not be a problem.
My first and best advice to you before you do anything, especially anything behind your husbands back, is talk to him. Find out if something is bothering him, possibly at work.
Are you on birth control or have you stopped taking birth control. He may be concerned about becoming a father. I know I was scared out of my whit's when I learned I was to be a father, I had no idea how to be one. Women are a lot better prepared than men are for parenthood. He could be thinking about this.
If he says nothing is wrong ask him to see his doctor for a complete physical. Tell him you will make the appointment for him. When you do tell the person making the appointment that your husband has a low sex drive and you would like the doctor to examine him for a possible organic reason such as low-T or possible stress related depression.
IF your husband has not had a physical in the past year he is past due for one anyway. If you haven't had one in the past year either then tell your husband you both need to get them and you'll make appointments for both of you.
If everything checks out both physically and mentally for both of you; then you and your husband need to have a serious talk about your marriage in general and your sex life.
At your age we are supposed to be horny; it does not mean you're a sex addict. This is the time in our lives when we are best able to reproduce and bring new life into this world. Being horny aids in making this happen. We need that sexual relief either through normal sexual relations with our partners or through masturbation.
You might be surprised to learn that over 85% of us masturbate. This includes people with healthy marital sexual relations. While you are not a sex addict; you are for a moment the person in the marriage with a higher sex drive and you need relief. If your husband can't or is unwilling to provide that relief then masturbation is the only other alternative short of finding another partner to supply that relief something I'm sure you don't want and your husband would not want either.
My answer then to our question is. That you tell your husband about the vibrator and your need to masturbate at least until he has seen his doctor to see if there is a medical reason for his low sex drive. You do this while you're having the conversation with him I mentioned above.
The best way to ruin a marriage is to start hiding things from each other. Marriages survive when the couple are able to talk to each other and work together to sort out any problems. Hiding things from each other just causes problems that you can't work together to resolve and next thing you know you're at each others throats across a table with lawyers trying to dissolve your marriage.
So talk to him. Tell him your worried about him and get him to see his doctor.
i need help
We are here to help you if we can though we need a bit more information than the heading you chose and "I need help."
If you still need our help please write back with some specifics on the type of help you need.
I'm Catholic but I really can't stand the bible, it tries to destroy every last religion other than it's own, I have abilities like psychic and have done spells, and never regretted anything I've done (except a weather spell, never making that mistake again) yet the bible hates them, also they tell you to wear your hair a certain way, and dress a certain way, and not to have sex or masturbate. Also they dislike homosexuals and bis (bisexuals) but there's nothing bad about them!!!!!!!!!!!!! So your telling me that if a homosexual helps the poor and Unfourtanate her entire life, educated child Muslims and other religions with a bad background, being blamed of everything (via the bible, I mean when something bad happens, the Muslims are always blamed), worked for no money at hospitals and homeless shelters, Fed, and housed animals and children, saved them from abuse, they would still go to hell just because they are homosexual. The bible can't dictate everybody's life and stop happiness! If the bible was written different, the world would be a better place. The writers did a horrible job of teaching about God.
The Bible I believe is many things; the one thing I believe it is not is a road map for how I live my life.
Stop and think about when the Bible was written. There were very few real laws so village elders working with the Ten Commandments, which I believe is the word of God started to write what we know to be the Bible. Many parts of the Bible are Fables. Other parts are of mans law written into the Bible so people would obey them.
Look at the Jewish people; it is against their religion to mix milk with meat dishes or to eat Pork, why. Simple Back when this became part of the Jewish Religion the Rabbi's saw that people who were eating Pork were getting sick. They didn't know why so they made it a part of the religion that people of their faith could not eat Pork. It was the same for meat and milk. They used wooden plates, the milk got into the cracks in the wood and spoiled causing the meat to spoil. Again their people were getting sick and dying. Once again the Rabbi's wrote in to the religion that Jewish people could not mix meat with milk.
Similarly not to long ago Catholics could not have meat on Fridays, why? It was written into the Religion as a form of penance but the reason was strictly for conservation of the supply and was done away with many decades ago by the Pope as the supply of meat products is now plentiful.
While a good portion of the Bible, The Book of David and the Curran are the word of God for those religions it is also a book of fables and laws.
What the Priest, Rabbi's and other religious leaders didn't understand they wrote into their religions as Gods word against it. Among those things that were written in as being against the word of God is Homosexuality, Bisexuality, Transgendered, Masturbation and other things that I have written about.
There is nothing wrong with using the Bible as a guide for life and for worshipping as you wish. You also have to use your god given talents to think for yourself do what you know to be right or wrong. Example of this is: We now know that homosexuality is not a choice it is how someone is born. They cannot be changed even if they want to change it would go against their DMA make up.
The Bible is not a bad thing and it does not hate if you read it and interpreted with your own free thought. If you want a better world it is up to you, me and the rest of us who live in this world to make it a better place. Will the Bible be a help or a hindrance to those of us who want to make the world a better place? That depends on each individual person.
hi, I'm 26 year old girl. i had an medical abortion on 2nd may. i used misoprostol for it. it almost bleeds one and half week. after that a little bleeding and brownish dischrage continues at the interval of 4-6 days which start n stops several time. all sympotms of pregnancy were gone. after three weeks on 24 may i took home test and it was positive. My last menstrual date was 23 april. and on 24 may i was feeling little pain in my pelvic same as on my period.....bleeding is also continue from 23 may and it is still going on...but the amount of bleeding is not so heavy....it soaks hardely one pad in a day. im confuse is it my period aur what???? i heard that after an abortion in next period bleeding will go heavily. im also confuse that termination is worked or not?? i dont want to go for an ultrasound....plz suggest me something. I'm suffering from so much stress.
You should consult with your doctor. Below is some information I found on Misoprostol form Wikipedia.
I believe from what you have written everything is normal but then I am not a doctor none of us are. The stress you are under is not good and stress alone can be the cause of the problem you are having with your period.
The Misoprostol likely did cause you to abort the pregnancy in a manner similar to a miscarriage. there is a very slight possibility that the miscarriage is not complete and a doctor will need to perform a D&C to complete the miscarriage. This would not be an abnormal occurrence in a miscarriage.
If you are not familiar with a D&C; Dilation (or dilatation) and curettage (D&C) refers to the dilation (widening/opening) of the cervix and surgical removal of part of the lining of the uterus and/or contents of the uterus by scraping and scooping (curettage).
Most likely you do not need this procedure but for your own peace of mind you need to consult with your doctor.
The positive pregnancy test is also normal as the hormones the test seeks out are still in you system and can be in your system for at least 60 days.
Misoprostol is used for medical abortions as an alternative to surgical abortion. Medical abortion has the advantage of being cheaper, simpler, less invasive, not requiring anesthesia, as well as not having the risk of scarring and adhesions that can be associated with surgical abortion.
Misoprostol alone is less effective (typically 88% up to 8 weeks gestation). It is not inherently unsafe if medically supervised, but 1% of women will have heavy bleeding requiring medical attention, some women may have ectopic pregnancy, and the 12% of pregnancies that continue after misoprostol failure are more likely to have birth defects and are usually followed up with a more effective method of abortion.
My advice again is to relax and for your own peace of mind call your doctor.
My boyfriend and I are in our twenties. Since we are both full-time students we still live at home, although I do sleep over his house occasionally.
After my boyfriend I go to sleep at night he frequently gets annoyed with my sleeping habits. Apparently I try to push him off the bed and I’m like the worst person to sleep with at night. Since he is the first guy that I have slept in the same bed with for any amount of time, I am unsure if this is because I am just a bad sleeper or if he is just a light sleeper.
Of course my cat does not complain about my sleeping habits but he does leave the bed at night to do his own little thing after being pet, in which he either returns or leaves to sleep in another spot in the house. Although I constantly find the covers off of my bed after I wake up, and when I have tried to sleep with headphones in my ears I constantly find them out of my ears after I wake up. In the past whenever I had to sleep with my sister during family vacations, she’s complained about me kicking her or trying to strangle her in my sleep. Which leaves me to the conclusion that perhaps my sleeping habits are my problem.
Similar to most people my boyfriend is not exactly the nicest guy when he does not get enough sleep, and not only that but I enjoy having sex with him better when he is more energized (of course, since he does most of the work).
Unfortunately our little problem is probably going to get worse as we advance further into our relationship. The two of us have been talking about getting our own place and getting married in a few years. He thinks that in order for him to get enough sleep at night the two of us are going to get separate beds which I do not want to happen.
How do you suggest that my boyfriend and I resolve this problem? Is it possible for me to better adjust my sleeping habits, so that perhaps he will actually look forward to going to sleep with me at night?
The problem of the marital bed and your sleeping together once you are sharing an apartment are easily fixed. They make a King sized bed that is actually two twin mattresses on a King size box spring.
You can make the bed up as two twins or twin bottom sheets and king top and comforter. sleeping with someone, as in actually sleeping, takes time to get use too. Remember you are both in your twenties and have spent your entire lives alone in your own bed not sharing with anyone except stuffed animals or the family pet.
Even after you marry and get comfortable with sharing a bed there will be times when one partner will be a bed hog. My wife and I will be married 43 years next month and we still have the occasional fight for covers, or where one of us piles the covers on to the other. As for hogging the bed that happens on many occasions. If one of us gets up in the middle of the night we have to wedge ourselves back into bed for the other has spread out across the bed.
I would consider, when you are ready, the idea of two twin mattresses on a King sized box spring. With the mattresses made up with twin sheets this will mark your space for you and stop your roaming as this is the space you are probably use two. Back when I was younger this type of bed was very popular as was two twin beds that were bound together at the headboard and where they met at the bottom. This one was nice as for changing the bed you just unhooked then at the bottom and they swung away on a hinge making it easy to change the bed and clean under them.
To answer your question as to how you change your sleeping habits? I don't think this is something that can consciously be done. I believe the best thing is to look at a bed as I have described that will accommodate your individual sleeping habits, allow you to sleep together in all forms of the word and get a good nights rest.
I've been keeping an eye on my sodium lately. I am 14 years old. 5'2, weighs 115 pounds. I eat about 1200 calories a day. How much mg of sodium should I be eating?
The recommended amount is no more than 2,300mgs or about a teaspoon full.
The problem with sodium and counting your intake of it is our food is loaded with it, especially fast food. Panera Bread is considered among the healthier of the fast food lunch spots. Would you believe that a ham and cheese sandwich at Panera Bread contains nearly 1,900 milligrams of sodium. The majority of the sodium is in the cheese but there is also sodium in the ham. A serving of lasagna at Olive Garden has 2,800 milligrams. That's well over the recommended daily intake of sodium. Worse these figures are not made known to us at the restaurants and fast food outlets.
While your calorie count, which by the way may be to low for a person of your age I suggest you speak with your doctor or a dietician for a proper diet and calorie count, may be good it may also be very high in sodium. Why, simple most of our food is prepared with salt. Salt is over 40% sodium.
Just about every recipe I look at when I cook for my wife and me has 1 or more teaspoons of salt in it. Even though I cut the recipe down from 4 servings to 2 if I follow the recommended amount of salt that's over a half a teaspoon of salt. I don't follow the recommended amount of salt I cook with low salt and I have found other ways to enhance the flavor of what I cook.
If you truly want to cut your sodium intake you are going to have to start researching what you order at restaurants and fast food outlets to find out the sodium content. Even the food prepared at school can be high in sodium and the school should have a nutrition guide for each meal it serves telling of the amounts of sodium and other things in the food they serve.
At home you need to help mom learn to cook with less salt. Find ways to enhance flavors with other seasonings. I did it is really not all that hard to do. Add spices your family likes even if those species add heat to the food. You'll never miss the salt.
Hello I'm 14/f. I've gotten these bumps under my skin many times before but they keep coming back on my armpits. I told my mom and she said if they stay, she'll take my to the doctor but she say that about everything including my still going 24 day period. So I need to knowif anyone has experienced this before. They're about the size of a dollar coin and hurt quite a bit.
Since you are 14 years of age and if you live in the USA. You can by a Federal Law called HIPPA seek medical advice and treatment without parental knowledge or permission for anything related to your reproductive system. Since you do have a problem relating to your reproductive system(your 24 day period) you can seek treatment by your own doctors, or at any women's clinic, 24 hr. walk-in clinic or hospital emergency room. If you are covered under your parents health insurance these visits will be paid for by the health insurance carrier.
These visits are confidential and your parents can never know why you saw the doctor or what you were treated for without your written consent to the doctor. This law also means that any time a female examination might be done on you she will have to stay in the waiting room unless you invite her to be in the exam room with you. If she is not in the exam room with once again the doctor cannot tell her what you were examined for and or treated for without your written permission.
In short if you want to see a doctor and can get to a doctors office or clinic you can see a doctor. While you're there concerning your menstrual problem you can ask about these bumps.
Since they seem to come and go I think they me be your lymph nodes you feeling which are quite a few under the armpits. As one doctor explained them to me the lymph nodes are part of the bodies trash system and everything in the blood goes through them.
You are probably thinking cancer we always do when we feel a lump especially women so close to their breasts. If it were cancer you would have others signs and the lumps get bigger and bigger so the chances are they are not cancer. Yet you should have them checked.
If mom will not take you to the doctor and you have health insurance and have the money for whatever your co-pay is then I would advise you to make an appointment a go to the doctor. At the very least go to a woman's free clinic if you can.
My parents have left me in charge at home while they are away of my sister 15 and brother 12.
Yesterday I caught my sister wearing a bikini(sliding triangle top and small side tying bottoms)that she is not supposed to have and taking SELFIES of herself in it, that she was going to send to the guy that bought the bikini for her that is nearly as old as me.
What do I do
1. Give her the bikini back, pretend I know nothing about it and possibly land myself in trouble if my parents find out about the bikini.
2. Keep the bikini give it to my parents on their return and tell them about the SELFIES and the guy, my sister will be in big trouble.
3. Give my sister a chance but insist the bikini is destroyed as part of the deal.
If your parents have left you home in charge of the care and safety of your sister and your brother. This means they are trusting you to act in their place while they are away, within certain limits, meaning you can't beat them, spank them or harm them in any way as a form of discipline. You can enforce other types of discipline such as grounding them, going to bed early or no TV and your sister and brother must abide by what you say.
In this instance you take the Bikini away and give it to you mom when she returns. You cannot and should not punish her for having the Bikini as it was a gift to her. What you should punish her for is the taking of the selfies in the Bikini, make sure she understands what she is being punished for. At 15 she should be aware of how dangerous sending these types of pictures to boyfriends or even other girl friends can be. If she does not understand then explain it to her. Make sure the pictures have been deleted from her camera. Then consider grounding her until your parents return.
All of the above is within the limits of the authority and trust your parents have placed in you while they are away.
Recently i got a new teacher and i find him really odd(not sure if he is flirty). the way he talks to me is different. He stares at me while taking class. He even comes and sits near me if the desk is empty. And i usually sit in the first bench so he pulls his chair and puts it near my bench and sits. he also stares at me. Mostly i dont look at him i put my face down when he is near. He doesnt look at my face alone while teaching or clearing doubt. i feel very uncomfortable. even if i have doubt in the subject i feel uncomfortable to ask him. he is married and 30+.
From what you have written I cannot say that the teacher is doing anything wrong, unless of course he is flirting and you are just not understanding of his flirts. One thing is for sure is that you have no reason to feel uncomfortable in his class and if the attention you feel you are receiving from him is making you uncomfortable then something must be done. Even this close to the end of the school year there are things you can do:
1: Talk with your parents and tell them what is going on in class with this teacher and tell them how it makes you feel. (this is the best way to handle this by letting your parents handle it)
2. You can go to the head of the department for which he is a teacher and ask for a change of class. Of course you will need to tell the department head why you want to change classes so close to the end of the year.
3. You can go directly to your school principal and ask for a change of class. Once again you will be asked why and you will have to give a reason.
From my point of view whether the flirting is real or imagined on your part you have a right to be comfortable in all of your classes. Being a firefighter for many years I am also of the opinion that where there is smoke there is fire. Meaning if you feel he is flirting with you then there is a good chance he is being inappropriate with his attention toward you.
This is why I suggest you speak with your parents. Your telling your principal how you feel should be enough to get you a change of class. Having your parents go to school making the request almost guarantees a change of class for you.
Hey! Okay, so I'm not trying to be a Debbie downer or anything, but I feel like I don't have a meaningful talent. I mean I don't have a good talent like music or sports. Like my only talents are talking/socializing a lot and picking out paint/fabric colors for my house. And instagram. Absolutely none of those count for anything for a person who wants to be a dentist (I also suck at Biology, which is bad). I'm mediocre at high school. I'm mediocre at singing. I'm mediocre at art. I suck at sports. So, what do I even do? I don't want to go through life being a loudmouth who's good at picking out colors.
I see two qualities from which you might find a life's passion. Though first you need to lighten up on yourself. It is normal for a teenager to question themselves at this point in their lives. Being mediocre is not bad and it is not good, it is average which is okay.
Now is the time that you really have to decide where your talent lies. Yes you want to be a dentist. If so then you need to buckle down and learn how to get better at the science you need in order to get into dentistry school. Being mediocre at something says you can do it; you need to decide if you want to do it. If you want to it bad enough you will find a way to do it.
An example of finding a way would be like if you ever wanted say a dress but didn't have the money for it. You really wanted that dress and you eventually bought the dress. How did that happen? It happened because you wanted it bad enough that you found a way to get it.
If you want to be a Dentist, I mean really want to be a Dentist then you need to buckle down and find a way to get there and get into Dentistry school. You start by contacting one or two schools and find out what the admissions process is and what you need scholastically to gain admission. This becomes the goal, just like the dress in my example. Then make a plan to get there and follow that plan.
Based on what you wrote you might also want to look at interior design and fashion design. Being good at picking out paint and fabric are two much needed talents for interior design. Picking out fabric is a much needed talent for fashion. You will have to improve your art work I'm sure but again if you want something bad enough you can do it.
I'm not aware of any schools for interior design, I know there are some I'm just not aware of them. Though if you are interested in Fashion design. The best School for that in this country is the New York school of Fashion & Design. Contact then and find out what is needed for admission.
Most importantly lighten up on yourself. Your normal and questioning yourself at this point is absolutely the right thing to do. Just do not become obsessed by it. It is also okay at this point to change your mind on what career you for this is the time to do so.
Review your options, see what you're good at and what you can most easily improve at. Then make a plan and follow it. Now is the time to do so. Talk with your parents let them help you. Just remember this is your life. What you do in the future is what you have to be happy doing, not necessarily what your parents may think you should be doing. Follow you heart and you mind equally.
my g.f got period after 8 days of sex..any chances of peragnent??
FYI: When a women gets her period this is her womb cleaning itself out of its lining and preparing itself for when next she ovulates and sends out an egg for fertilization. IF this egg gets fertilized it then attaches to the wall of her womb and her periods stop. So in most cases a woman cannot be pregnant after sex if she gets her period shortly afterwards.
This has never happened to me before. I'm 19 years old, sexually active, and I just started my period a couple days ago and today I started leaking like.... Water basically. I don't know what it is but I'm scared.
First: I have to tell you that none of us on this site are doctors so we cannot make a diagnoses.
Second: Even if one of the girls on this site have experienced something as you now are it does not mean that you both are experiencing the same problem. It is possible yes, probable no.
Now the fact that you are sexually active you are probably thinking this could be an STD. If you practice safe sex, meaning your partner uses a condom at all times then the odds of this problem being an STD are in your favor. Statistically those who practice safe sex have a low incidence of getting an STD as condoms block the transmission of most STDS.
The best advice any of us can give you is to see a doctor. Since this is a holiday weekend the earliest you can see your own doctor would be Tuesday. If this is real concern to you or is causing any burning or itching you can go to any of the walk-in clinics that have become popular or a hospital emergency room.
Any health insurance you have is more likely to cover a walk-in clinic in full, less your deductible, where if you go to an ER they may disallow the visit or charge you a higher deductible if they deem the visit a non-emergency.
These walk-in clinics are staffed by doctors just as a hospital emergency room is. While I don't believe you have anything to be scared about. I do believe you should not wait until Tuesday to see a doctor. You have two choices you can call your doctors service and ask for a call back to discuss this with your doctor, who may tell you to go to a clinic. Or you can just go to one of the walk-in clinic and then if you want make a follow up appointment with your doctor on Tuesday just for peace of mind.
I am a 25 year old female and my mom has been going down hill the past 3 years she hasn't been able to walk like she use to she has to use 2 canes just to get around and sometimes she still falls and has really bad muscle spasms and has slurred speech and can barely talk sometimes especially when she is in a big crowd its worse . For the past week she has been mowing lawns cutting trees with hedge clippers and dragging big tree limbs while she is using her cane and I try my best to help her and she won't let me as nd it really bothers me because the other day when we were in wallmart she had 2 big buggies and was pulling one with her gands pushing the other with her feet and I was trying my best to help her and she wouldnt let me and some lady that I didn't even know came up to me and said why don't you get get off your lazy but and help your mom when I was trying my best to and my mom says she dosnt want to lose her independence. What should I do? Iam really worried.
It is unfortunate but I do know exactly how you mom feels about being disabled. I have been disabled for the past 10 years because of an auto accident I was in. It was a three car accident; I was the only innocent and the only one that needed to go to the hospital.
Because of this I can tell you why your mom feels as she does and tries to do as she is doing. I'm not sure I will explain it very well but hopefully you will understand. You mom I believe may be somewhat like me in the fact that at some time in the future she will have no choice but to let more people do things for her. This is hard to accept when you find yourself a reasonably healthy person in other ways than the disability and you must rely on others to drive you places, mow your lawn, shovel your side walk and all the other things we are so use to doing for ourselves.
I was not lucky enough to ease in to my handicap it fell on me and I had to accept help. I tried to do things I really couldn't do and all it did was cause me more pain. For your mom she sees doing these things for herself as a means of holding off the dependency she doesn't want.
I became clinically depressed because I could not do things for myself. Your mom by fighting to stay independent is also fighting of the depression that is sure to come with becoming more dependent on others. This is what you need to watch out for and seek treatment for her when it does occur.
Until then just be with her to help her up when she falls and to make sure she hasn't hurt herself; to help her when she asks for it. When people say things to you as that one lady did just say do them this what mom wants from me at the moment; I'm here to help her when she asks for my help. That should put them in their place.
Please do not try to force her to be an invalid. As long as she can do things safely and without getting hurt or complicating her disability let her do for herself. Just be there for her when she asks for help. In fact I would suggest you tell her that you are there for her and that you are watching over her to make sure she doesn't hurt herself. That is you see her doing things that can hurt her then you are going to tell her and talk to her about it being tome to accept help. Until then the subject is closed.
I'm 17/f and about to graduate from high school. Although my culture does not allow dating, my bf and I have been dating secretly for 2 years. My family wants me to finish college before getting into relationships. About 5 months ago, my older brother and sister found out that I was dating and they were upset about it and told me to break up with him. If my parents found out, they would be extremely upset. Anyways, I didn't break up with him but I told them we did. I love my family and my boyfriend. My boyfriend is a huge part of me now and I need him in my life but my family would probably never accept him before I'm done with college. What should I do?
Please note that I'm from a different country and my culture is very different from America. In my culture your family choose when you can start dating. If I choose to stay with my boyfriend and go against my family's wishes, I'll have to face consequences.
It is not our place to tell you what to do but to advice you on the best path you might want to follow. In the end though the choice you make has to be your own.
Your last sentence pretty much has the best advice anyone of us can give you which is, after all is said and done if you choose to follow your heart and not tradition or custom; you will have to face the consequences with your family.
That being said what I will tell you as a parent is. That young love and high school romances while seeming very real turn out to be very much less than a lifetime commitment. No matter what country you live in childhood friends are just that, childhood friends.
Your about to go off to college; all your current friends including your boyfriend are all going to go off in different directions. Some of you will be going off to college, others will join the military some may travel the world in search of work or pleasure. The only thing common to all of you is you will all be having new adventures and making new friends.
In college you will make new friend and meet new buys. Yes you will before leaving swear your undying love for each other. But separation does not make the heart grow fonder it makes for loneliness. Soon the texting will get less frequent as will the phone calls as you make new friends. By the time you both return home for the New Year’s break you will have both decided that maybe it is best if you take a break from each other.
Your romance may be the different one, the one that lasts beyond high school. Statistics say it won't. But if it does statistics say it won't go the distance and if it does there is a high rate of failure.
This is the truth as I know it to be, backed up by the statistics you can research for yourself. Now you have a decision to make. Is this love a true love or a high school love? Will you find love again if you follow your parents’ wishes? I say you will.
This is really all not that much a cultural thing. Every parent, especially parents of girls want their daughters to focus on school and not on boys. We want all our children to focus on school to get the education they need to take their place in this world. For a girl dating complicates school because she could get pregnant if she dates. Your parents are of a culture that is stricter in this nature than other cultures.
That's the best I can do to advise you, the decision is yours to make.
I'm 15 and a girl. And I'm typing this on my tablet, so sorry for any mistakes.
I've known I need braces since I had a cavity a few years ago.
Sometimes I'll sit and rest my chin in my hand and if I sit lke that to long my teeth will hurt but other than a few things like that they realy didn't that much.
But about a month ago they started to hurt, bad. Every time I would eat and sometimes for no reason randomly. It would be in only one tooth, then an hour later be my bottom teeth on the other side of my mouth, amd was constantly switching teeth and sides of my mouth.
It was driving me crazy, and I went to the dentist but he couldn't n find anything wrong, and said that the only thing he could find that could be causing it is my 2nd Class Overbite and said he strongly recommended braces. So we set up the appointment to get them, (the 29th).
A few days later the pain stopped suddenly. But about a week ago the started again, but only the bottom left teeth. It's off and on. Sometimes a dull ache that doesn't bother me amd other times it's almost to much to handle.
I am going back to the dentist in a week so I'm not to worried, but I was wondering if any of you people could maybe help me figure out what is causing it or find something to help.
None of us on this site are doctors or dentists so it is not possible for any of us to make a diagnoses or even or even recommend a reason why this is happening to you. I would recommend that you follow your dentists advice and get the braces.
The braces will not only straighten out your overbite but in doing so the will better align your jaw. If your jaw is out of alignment the nerves which exit to your spinal cord, the pathway of all nerves to the brain, can be irritated and inflamed. When this happened they send pain signals when there is no reason for pain other than an inflamed nerve ending.
Properly aligning your jaw will also enhance your facial features by aligning your lower jaw with your facial bone structure. This will enhance your natural beauty as a women.
If the braces, after they are in place for a while do not relieve the pain. Then a visit with a neurologist may be in order A neurologist is a doctor who specializes in nerve problems. There are test this doctor can do to see if there is a problem with any of the nerves in you mouth and jaw.
I really wanna get into creative arts, such as art, acting, singing, writing etc... but my mom wants me in something involving academics because she thinks she needs someone to know what's going on and my dad wants me to do something athletic because he loves sports, and I like sports, to be honest, but not enough to put my heart into. You know, wake up 2:00am to practice, and I like sciences and politics, but after 30 minutes I'll get bored out of my mind. I know about the paparazzi, but to follow my passion I would deal with it. I'm afraid they won't support me. What should I do?
It is unfortunate when parents try to direct their children's lives towards what they will do as an adult. It generally leads to rebellion, wasted money for an education that is not used and all around hard feelings when the child is not successful in life as he or she should or could be.
You did not give your age which hampers me in advising you as I do not know what grade in school you are. The reason for this is at a certain level of school your guidance department can be a big help to you in obtaining your goals and talking to your parents.
You can talk to your guidance advisor at any time though in general when you enter the sophomore year is when they want to start focusing in on what college and college course you are interested in. This way they can try to focus your remaining two years of high school studies to those goal. For those children that are undecided there are test that they have that can be given which will tell them what each child is best suited for.
If your school year has not ended I would suggest you make an appointment with your guidance counselor to discuss what you want to do and where you might wish to go to college. Tell your guidance counselor you need his or her help to get their as you parents both expect different things from you.
You will not be the first student to come to them with such a problem. They have dealt with this before and I am confident they can help you much more than any advice any of us could give you.
Everyone is blaming me.i have not done anything wrong i m totaly alone.They are elder people and i am tenager. they are in high post and can do anything to me. I am totally alone
please help me.i cant fight with them.No one is teusting me neither my parents. i dont know what to do.
I would like to help you though you have not given me any information with which to help you with. All you have said is you are being blamed for something you did not do. I can understand you being upset over this but we need more information in order to help you.
Information as to"
1. What is it you are being blamed for?
2. What are the consequences of this on you? In other words are you being punished and how?
3. Is whatever you are being blamed for reparable?
4. Can you prove you were someplace else when what ever happened took place? In other words do you have an alibi for the time period that whatever took place happened. Sometimes innocence can be proven simply by proving you weren't anywhere near where the incident took place if it is this type of problem.
The more information on what you are being blamed for and why they are blaming you the better chance we can offer a solution to you.
I apologize if this ends up being a bit long, but please read and help me if you can. My sister who is 28, is an alcoholic. If you said that to her, she'd deny it and up until two or three years ago, I wouldn't have taken it seriously either.
She very much enjoys getting drunk. Not buzzed, not lightly drunk, but downright falling down, yelling profanities in public, calling people at 4:00 in the morning drunk. She feels that drinking is the only way to have fun, but she has no control and doesn't see the importance of doing things in moderation.
I HATE being around her when she's drunk. So does our mom and she makes both of our parents worry about her alcoholism. I get sick of her doing that to them and I wish she could see what her drinking causes/can cause.
I don't drink at all. I feel that alcohol is poison and although I don't think having a beer or two is a problem, I just rather not have any part of it. I may sound like a dork, but if you've been through what I have, you might feel the same way. Also, I don't see how drinking is so much fun. You act like an idiot, you embarrass yourself and the people you're with, you can offend and even hurt people, you do damage to your body, and you feel like death the next day.
My sister had a bachelorette party this past weekend and it was a total disaster in my opinion. She got drunk Friday night, Saturday afternoon, and more so Saturday night. I'm sorry, but I'm ashamed of the way she acted. Between acting like a total moron and mistreating those who went through trouble to make her party great, including myself, she was awful. If I could go back to Thursday night, I wouldn't have gone. I REALLY didn't want to go in the first place, but I knew she was counting on me. Strangely, SHE ended up being the one to let ME down.
Friday night, we were at a restaurant and she came over and sat in my lap like a child. When she stood up, she almost fell back in my lap which would have caused an injury do to the way I was sitting. Then, although she was joking, she started yelling at one of her friends, "Ali, f
I'm sorry for what you had to endure. Yes, your sister is an alcoholic thought the truth is there is nothing you or your parents can do to change her. For an alcoholic the old saying of "You can lead a horse to water but can't make it drink," is very appropriate.
My brother in-law is a 25 year recovering alcoholic; A member of aa and very active in several different programs for the prevention and treatment of alcoholism. He tells me that an alcoholic has to hit bottom before they will ask for help. Everyone has a different bottom. For him it was waking up one morning in the drunk tank.
He immediately dried himself up and gave up drinking on his own without any of the clinics that help alcoholics. He also joined aa. The strange part of his whole adventure into sobriety is he and the cop that arrested him have been friends ever since.
You can try to get your sister to understand she is a drunk and alcohol dependent. Expect her to tell you off in no uncertain terms but keep trying one day maybe she will understand.
One thing you and your parents can do for yourselves and maybe help your sister too is to join Al Anon. Al Anon is a support group from friends and family of people who substance abusers such as alcoholics. By going to meetings and meeting other friends and family member in the same position as you are you can find ways of dealing with her problem for yourselves by seeing and hearing how others are handling these situations. Below is the URL that will take you to Al Anons' meeting locator page. Below it is the toll free phone number for meeting information.
http://al-anon.alateen.org/local-meetings
1-888-4AL-ANON (1-888-425-2666) for meeting information.
Heyoo.
I am 18 and I've been experiencing breast pain, but not in my nipples. I am a size 32 a, and have been for years. I've checked other websites about this, and they've all said is pregnancy. I am not pregnant. I highly doubt the pain is linked to my periods since the pain is all the time. I've wondered if this could be growing pains? But I wasn't for sure since I am older with the same cup size.
Any advice is appreceiated!
Thanks bunches:3
None of us on this site are doctors so we can not make any type of diagnoses. The best thing for you to do is make an appointment with your GYN for an examination and let the doctor tell you what is going on.
As to your thoughts of growing pains. It may surprise you to learn you may not be wrong in your thinking. Puberty can last into your early twenties. It is very possible your body is preparing to enlarge your cup size. The only way to know for sure is to let a doctor examine you.
Hi guy! I need some help for a school project. The question is WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD? and WHAT CAN WE DO TO MAKE IT BETTER?
Please i need some insight that will help me with it. thanks
Wow, great question. You have a great teacher in posing this question for there are many, many things wrong in this world that if a way is found to fix any one them; would make the world a better place.
You can start with Man's inhumanity to man. Under this heading there are a whole host of sub headings to choose from starting with racial bias to Terrorism and the reason for them. Poverty, illiteracy, World Hunger and the list goes on.
Pick up today's newspaper and I assure you before you reach the back page you will find many different topics from which to chose. Pick a topic that is meaningful to you that you can get involved in, for this purpose, mentally if not actively after you finish writing about this.
I know you don't have a long time to think about this project as school is probably ending soon. Though this is really something you need to put some thought into before jumping ahead with. If my son where assigned this project I believe we would sit down one night with his mom and discuss this with him. Hopefully by the time we are finished with our discussions we will have found a topic he can be excited about and one that we can both help with and monitor his progress with.
By the way what I just mentioned is one way of making the world a better place by having children involve parents in doing something to make the world a better place. Today better than 90% of us put on a seatbelt when we get in a car. It was not always this way.
As recently a 3 decades ago the percentage of seat belt users was almost not countable. Then the schools started to educate the children and the children started to educate their parents. In less than one generation the percentage of seat belt users climbed dramatically. The lives saved because of this is also dramatic in numbers. As A firefighter I can tell you it is a rare instance that we arrive on scene of an accident with a fatality and seat belts are in use.
I given you some ideas of what to look at as to where to find a topic. I do suggest you take some time to really think about this subject. At dinner tonight talk with mom and dad, get their thoughts on the subject. Then chose your topic, do your research and write your paper.