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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
advice
I've been in a relationship with a girl from overseas for almost two years. I'm a 26 y/o guy, and she's 24. She came with me here about a year and a half ago. I treat her well, romance her, buy her roses, bake her cakes, take her out when I have time, tell her that she's beautiful, help her look for work, and a lot with English.
Last year she started acting funny and talking about a guy, and I found out she cheated on me by looking at her phone, and reading her emails (Not saying this was right, just that I did it). I confronted her, but I never really felt she thought what she did was wrong. I promised not to look at her stuff again.
For the half year since then she's been using her phone a ton, and hiding it from me. Lately she has been getting calls and messages from the guy she cheated with on me again, so often that even though she doesn't want me to know, it's inevitable that I would see at some point. She gets pissed off over trivial things, she's stuck to her phone 24/7, we hardly ever have sex anymore, and sometimes I don't feel like she even wants to be here.
So I gave her time, and everything just felt kind of wrong. I broke my promise and checked up on her. She's still cheating on me, and things never really stopped. She tells me she's faithful, nothing has happened, and she loves me, but I know she's lying.
Recently she got offered her dream job in my country, and the contract process is happening fairly quickly. She's staying here on a Partner visa with me, and we live together. If I break up with her, she either has to leave within a month, or become illegal. Apart from that, it will obviously make my life more hellish for that month than it already is living with a person who you know is lying to you with a straight face, while making out with another guy. I know that she is planning to stay with me for the two years it will take for her to gain permanent residence, and then leave me for the guy she is cheating on me with.
In my country, you can only ever sponsor two people to be partners, and if your first partner is granted PR, the length your second one has to wait grows to 5 years, rather than just 2.
I don't know how to handle breaking up with her, and what to say to who, when. I don't want to be taken advantage of, or have my name smeared by this. Breaking up with her before she gets PR will pretty much destroy her whole life as she knows it. She quit her job to come here with me, which is kind of a black spot on her employment history in her home country. I feel angry and upset about what she has done to our relationship, but I'm still battling feelings of love for her, and I don't want to see her broken. I wish everything I know about what's happened could be a lie, but I know it's not, so I have to deal with it.
To complicate things, accepting the job involves costly medical and security checks for her, and may mean we consider moving. I'm at university, and I only just found this out, right before the exam period. I really don't want to think about this before exams, and I definitely don't want to break up with her just before my first exam, so I am putting it off, but I feel so guilty for "supporting" her through the process of getting checks and references for this job that I know will be difficult if not impossible for her to keep.
What would you do?
What should I tell her? The truth? Or that I've fallen out of love, but don't know why? Or that one of her friends told me the truth?
How do I deal with the stress of living together with this oblivious lying girl who tells me she loves me?
What should I do to handle the resistance that I'm likely to have to breaking up with her? She won't want to break up with me, because she wants PR.
Can you tell me some steps and the order in which I might do them?
Any other general advice about the situation that I haven't asked a specific question about is more than welcome.
Thanks in advance.
-Troubled
You do have a unique situation, one that I cannot tell you what you should do though. I will tell you what I would do in your place.
1. I would contact the Immigration service and advise them that I am no longer willing to sponsor her for PR status. If she was this disrespectful to dishonor me in this manner as to lie to me and cheat on me then she can very well let the guy she is cheating with sponsor her.
2. Once I have informed Immigration of my change of heart I would tell her. The reason for doing it in this order is so she cannot somehow talk me out of it with more lies, more promises and deceptions. At this time I would tell her she needs to either find someplace to live and someone to sponsor her or you will help her with transportation back to her home country.
These are the only two steps that I see as needing to be taken. As I see it she has made her bed; now she can lay in it. By lying to me she has broken any bond that may have been between us and I owe her nothing but a roof over her head until she can make other living arrangements or arrange to return to her home country. This would not be an open ended time period; I would give her a date by which she would have to be out of my home and my life.
I know I would be hurt doing this and I would also feel bad for myself and possibly for her. I'm not sure about feeling bad for her for as I said I'm not the one who has done wrong here she has so she has only herself to blame. I would feel as if I were being used, which is what she is doing. She is using me to get her PR card and then would leave me anyway so why should I put off being hurt and just make myself miserable for two years.
One thing I do now is in the U.S. Immigration would take a very dim view of her staying with you just long enough to get her green card (PR) then leaving you. They can and could rescind PR status if they were to find out. It may be the same for whatever country you're talking about. Immigration authorities don't like being gamed for the purpose of entry or resident permits.
This is what I would do and what you could or should do if you want do. I see no reason for you to continue the sham of this. If for some reason you continued with this charade and let her stay with you until she had PR status and she does leave you. IF immigration were to find out and revoke her PR status you could be in legal trouble. Something you should check into.
Im 22, I have previuos medical history of arrhythmia which I had an operation for.
In past few weeks I have been getting a sharpe stabbing typd feeling that can last anything from 30 seconds to 3 mins. The pain I get is always on my right side about an ince below my armpits I feel it from front to back at the same time.
Im scared its something serious can someone please shed some light
We are not doctors so we cannot and should not make any diagnoses. The best thing to do is to consult your family doctor.
Under the armpit are a bunch of Lymph Nodes which are part of the body's Lymphatic system. A surgeon once told me to look at the Lymphatic system as part of the bodies waste disposal system. Is it possible that a node or nodes are getting blocked, I really can't say as I don't really know all that much about them just that when doctors want these nodes to check on the spread of disease they generally go for the ones under the armpit or in the stomach.
My advice is to see your doctor.
Female, 18
I am from Puerto Rico. My economic status is slowly descending more and more into being from average to poor. My dad owns a restaurant that is driving us all nuts; being the owner and only the five of us helping out is not as easy as it sounds (mom, dad, me and my younger siblings). Plus, my family in general isn't all that helpful. I am about to go to college and now both my brother and sister are going to be in a private school - meaning its a lot of money that gets pulled out of us. I may not get economic assistance so I will probably need to make a loan. Not pretty. My sister's fifteenth birthday is next year and with all the money we will need now... well we may not be able to do what she wants to do - a trip to California.
I, being the oldest of my siblings, feel thag its my responsability to help out with the money. My passions however are all in art - writing, drawing, painting, dancing, singing and secretly acting. I would need to put aside my desires to provide my family. I am going in by Geology, but don't know if the job probabilities in the future are high nor if the salary would be enough for them. I am really lost here, this is a lot of responsability that's been put onto my shoulders. Any advice as to what career I should uphold or what I should do in general?
First of all if your parents have not asked you to help out with money then it is not your responsibility. Your responsibility to them is to be the best you that you can be. That means going on to college even if it means taking out student loans. If you still feel the need to help your family financially when you have completed college you will be in a much better position to get a high paying job then you are now with just a high school education.
As to what courses to take in College; if Geology is a subject that interests you then take Geology course. You say though that your interests run to writing, drawing, painting, dancing and acting. If these are the subjects that really excite you then pick the one that most excites you and study in that area.
The worst thing you can do to yourself is to define your goals in life based on monetary values. You can have all the money you will ever want or need and still be miserable if you don't like what you are doing. You also probably won't be as successful at what you're doing as you would be if it was something you loved.
As a parent I can tell you that your parents may be very disappointed to see you pass on college out of a sense of responsibility to them. If they have not asked for your help then before you do anything rash, such as passing on college, talk to them. Tell them what you're planning to do and why. They may not want or need your help.
Your father is a business man. If he could not afford to send your siblings to private school or you to college or at least assist you with college; he would not do so. Don't count the money in his wallet, so to speak. Get the facts, then make a decision.
Thank you very much for your advice.... I got a missed call from him... He left me a voicemail.... "Hey what's up, it's me, just umm giving you a call, I don't know if you are at work or what's up.... Umm you can call me back... Just saying hey I just been umm doing my thing... Everything is pretty normal... But you know trying to get my stuff in order... So just wanted to call and say hey... And I got your messages and all that... I hope you are doing well... So... Have a good day... If anything call me let me know what's up... So I'll talk to you then... Bye" I honestly don't know what's going thru his mind about us? I did call back he didn't answer left messages... I
Was work on break called and when I got home to let him know I was free and home if he would like to call and talk.. But haven't heard back yet I know he was with his daughter... I've notice when he contacts it's when he is going to spend time with his daughters...
There is really not much to add to what I have already said. It might be best to move on rather than wait to see what he decides to do and when he decides to do it.
You could even say so if need you want to in a voice mail or text to him. You could say something to the effect; I have told you how I feel and how I feel about you. I cannot wait forever for you to decide what you are going to with your life or to work out your problems. I've told you what I'm willing to do for you and with you. What I'm not willing to do is be strung along while you are indecisive. If you want to be with me, make a life with me decide now and be with me or I will not stand around waiting for you any longer.
This would come under the heading of tough love. There are times, and this may be one of them, when you literally have to hit someone over the head to make them realize something. Depending how he responds, if he responds, you will know just where you stand in his life and can act accordingly.
Should you take my advice and leave a message as I've written you will have an answer. Once you have sent it or left it on his voicemail you make no further effort to contact him. IF he doesn't call back that tells you what you need to know.
It is very possible, and I hope it isn't, that he is stringing you along while he is with someone else. What I am suggesting will in a manner of speaking tell you that as well.
I am 21 years old (female). Me and my 23 year old boyfriend have been dating for 3
years now. We are very close, and spend a lot of time together. Since 2 months in, we both knew that this is it, we are meant to be together and one day we'll get married :)
We are both still students.
My boyfriend is a foreign national, and is here in my country on a study permit.
He's planned to immigrate here for many years, but applications for citizenship require work or permanent residence permits, that he can only acquire through getting a job. He has been looking out at carreer fairs for when he graduates and he is usually unsuccessfull in finding a company that employs foreign national graduates. The few opportunities that have presented themselves seemed promising untill recently. Our immigration laws are changing, and it will be even more difficult for him to get citizenship now.
Even though he doesn't want to get citizenship through the marriage route (because he feels its better he gets it first, then we'll marry anyways for the right reasons and only the right reasons), I've told him a few times that I feel that if its our last resort before his permit runs out and he is made to go live in his country again; I think we should get married because we're going to anyway. Otherwise, we may lose each other if he gets kicked out of the country.
So now we are both final year, and new laws are coming in that limits his stay more and more. He is trying to get in to postgraduate studies, but I don't know if he'll get in.
He hasn't proposed, and hasn't mentioned that he'll take his last resort.I know he doesn't feel its the right way to do it (and perhaps he also feels we're not ready). But I know that he does want to marry me.
So I'm feeling the pressure mounting. I know I said I'll just marry him, and I want to... but I am so young, and big decisions are scary and even with a marriage certificate it takes 2 years till he's allowed in the country. SO in the mean time I'll have to move with him to some other country or his own (Zimbabwe - where there is no work).
I dont think I'm ready to get married, to move countries, to uproot my career here (I have my first job now). Its all been so far in the future, something we'll do when we feel we are ready.. But we cant wait too long and lose each other...
Im scared he proposes and I say I have to think about it (cause me doubting it will hurt him). Because its so much more complicated than just saying yes cause I love you. Isnt it?
I want things to just stay the way they are for now.
The best thing to do before you do anything is to check with U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE). ICE takes a dim view of people getting married for the purpose of a foreign national obtaining a residency permit.
While it is possible and he may not have to return to his country. There will be a lot of hoops you will both have to jump through to convince ICE your marriage is not one of convenience for the purpose of a residency permit.
My advice is to contact ice. You can start by going to there web site at ICE.gov. Tell them your story and let them advise you as the best course of action to follow so that he can stay in this country. If you are going to marry find out what they want from you to support his application for a residency permit while he applies for citizenship.
ICE is not an enemy, you just need to prove to them you are both sincere in what you are doing. If so they will do what they can within the law to assist you. You contact ICE before you get married not after the fact.
I feel they're both important, but my mom feels that medical research is more important and more in demand, though I'm trying to convince her that I wouldn't be committing career suicide by pursuing economic research, what I'm actually interested in. I'm currently a college student, majoring in economics and mathematics. Feel free to give your lengthy, true opinion, I'd really appreciate it. I support people wanting to do medical research, but the economy would not function if everybody was in the medical field! It's annoying when my mom tries to encourage me to switch fields when I've never once been interested in the medical field for me personally, and I don't want to choose a field I hate just for the money. A top economist could make as much as a top surgeon, anyways. And it's more than the money for me, as obviously I will take on debt for all the years of college I have ahead. It's a lifestyle choice I'm making. I just need a better way to prove to my mom that I'll be fine. Again, I'm still a student, not yet an economist, so obviously I still have a lot to learn on my own, and it's why I have trouble explaining the relevance of econ to my mom beyond general things.
What is important her is NOT which field is of greater importance. What is important is which field is the field you will be happy working in.
You mom sees medical research as an area of greater importance as it is most likely the field that will provide you with the best income earnings ability. What mom is not taking into consideration is that a person can be earning huge sums of money and be miserable in life.
You have to follow your heart and your interests when deciding what field you want to follow. You really shouldn't have to prove to anyone, including your mom, why you have no interest in one subject and great interest in another. This is the field of interest to you. If you need to point anything out to your mother Tell her as an economist you could rise to become at some point the Chairman of the Federal Reserve setting monetary policy for this nation. That this is a position that only someone with an education and background in economics can hold.
As I said you have to do what interest you not what me, your mom or anyone else thinks is best. My son is a good example. He is a paramedic/firefighter. There are a number of people who are alive today because he was on duty when they needed a paramedic. His medical directors have suggested or told him he should advance his medical career by taking the bridge course to become a registered nurse and then a nurse practitioner.
As much as I agree with them I also know he probably won't do it. He likes being a paramedic but he loves being a firefighter. For my son being a firefighter is not a job it is a calling. He does it because he can and thankfully he is very good at it. Because for him firefighting is a calling he will not leave the job until he retires. Then maybe he will look at nursing.
For you being an economist may be your calling. Once you finish your education you may become an outstanding economist and who knows maybe you will become at some future date Chairman of the Federal Reserve.
My advice is: Do what your heart and mind tell you to do. While others may think they have your best interest in mind they really don't for they do not know what is truly in your heart and mind as a calling. Anyone can find a job but few find a calling. Being an economist just may be your calling.
Hello There,
I Am A Teenager. I Was Diagnosed With Anxiety And Depression A Few Years Ago. Well, I'm Going To The Doctor Soon To Hopefully End All Of This Worry. However, The Doctor Cannot Have Me Until The End Of This Month. I Honestly Don't Know How I'm Going To Survive About 2 Weeks Filled With My Terrible Anxiety. Any Advice Would Be Very Helpful.
Two weeks in the grand scheme of things is not that long. You have suffered with this for a few years as you have said; you can deal with two more weeks.
While there are some over the counter medication that might be helpful, talk to your pharmacist about which one would work best for you. The best way to deal with the next two weeks is one day at a time.
Anxiety and depression are both stress related. Anxiety cause stress and stress causes depression. It is a vicious cycle event. To cure the anxiety and depression, generally speaking, medication and talk therapy is in order. The talk therapy is used to find out the root cause of the stress causing the anxiety. Finding this out and learning how to better deal with it is generally the key to feeling better.
By taking each day as it comes and not worrying about yesterday or tomorrow or the next day you can and should be able to lower your stress level significantly for a short period of time. Once you see your doctor and you start meeting with a therapist things will get easier for you.
I know for I have had to work through my own bout of depression. I know it hurts. I also know you will get better you just have to hang in there.
If the pain gets too much for you then either call 911 or go to a hospital emergency room. At 15 years old you do not need parental permission to go to a hospital for medical help and you are always able to call 911 if you feel you need to.
Hi guys, I'm here to seek advices on how I can write a thank you letter or card and what I should write in it. There's a company that makes houses for poor families and the prices are very cheap. My family and I were going through a big problem with money. We were poor. We lives in an apartment where the rent was too high and we found this company that built us a house and to my family and it's not just a house, it's a home. I would love to write them a thank you letter or card thanking them for an amazing job they have done for us. Please help me. I would like to send it by the end of this week.
It would be my pleasure to assist you. This would be in the form of a business letter. Below is an outline of the form of the letter as well as my suggestion as to what to write.
Date
Company Name
Address or PO BOX
City, State Zip Code
To whom it may concern,
My family and I have recently moved in to one of the homes your company has built for those of us that find ourselves economically disadvantaged. This house is not just a house it has become our home and for this we truly thank you. Thank you seems so little in return for what you have given us by building us a home we can call our own. To have so little and receive this wonderful house to call our own means so much us it is almost impossible to put into words what this means for me in and my family.
Thank you again for this wonderful home. Be assured we will care for it with the same care you built it with.
Yours sincerely,
Your name
your address
You can change the words I wrote above to fit you and how you feel about your home. It does not take a lot of words to say thank you. If you have good penmanship handwrite the letter. If not print it out on your computer and it would be nice if everyone in the family could sign it.
I want to know if I have mono. My glands are swollen with many white patches, I took a strep test and it came back negative but I do not feel to tired but I do have a stuffed up nose
We are not doctors so we cannot answer your question or make a diagnoses. Only a doctor can after running the proper test through a lab can make a diagnoses.
It is possible you are in the early stages of Mono. It is just as possible given that more people are suffering from allergies this summer than ever before that you have a seasonal allergy that has never before bothered you. In either instance a doctor is the only one who can answer these questions.
Hi, I am a fifteen year old girl. Let me start off by saying, two days ago(Monday for me) I woke up with a headache, a sore throat, a fever of 101.6, I was very tired, and I seemed to ache everywhere. Needless to say, I didn't feel good that day. Yesterday(Tuesday for me) I still had a headache, and I had a hard time eating due to my sore throat, but my fever went down, same for my aches and pains. I decided to go outside, and get some fresh air, I played in the sticks a little, and I'm thinking I could've gotten into poison ivy yesterday, because I woke up this morning with intensely itchy hands, and I had red sores(spots) on my hands, but my throat is still sore. My mom thinks I have Hand Foot Mouth Disease, but that's kind of odd, I've already had it. Is this Poison Ivy or could it be Hand Foot Mouth Disease? Advice is much appreciated! Thank you.
Your mother is probably correct, though her diagnoses should be confirmed by a doctor. Make sure to wash your hands very well after going to the bathroom. Sing Mary had a little lamb as you scrub your hands with lots of soap and as hot water as you can stand.
The virus that causes this disease can stay in your body for months and comes out in your poop. This is why it is important to wash your hand thoroughly as I described after each visit to the bathroom.
Hello, I am 20 years old, female and it has come to my attention that I really would like to change my relationship of three years. I want to be more submissive towards him and want him to dominate me in bed and in our day to day lives. Yesterday we had our first conversation about it and I think it went really well.the issue is that neither of us have really done anything like this before and I am not sure how much he understands that I am very serious and have thought about this for a while and it's not just a phase. Does anyone have any advice for novices like myself? What about recommendations for a forum or resources where I could possibly seek a sub mentor or a friend to keep in touch with and get advice from. Thank you all for your time
If you would like a Mentor for BDSM type the following phrase into a search engine; "Mentors for BDSM novice." I did and it returned a host of possibilities.
I did the same for BDSM for beginner typing the following into a search engine; "BDSM for beginners. This two returned a whole host of sites to turn to for help.
I doubt any of us can give you any other information on this subject, The web will be your best resource
If a man is bi it's wrong when a girl is bi it's OK. A man screws with 100 girls he's a stud a girl screws with 1 guy and she's labeled a slut. It's not fair.
Your right it is not fair and it has been this way for century's. The most obvious reason for this is the women produces the child thus she is the extension of the genetic line. Millenniums ago it was not seen as genetics, it was seen as the extension of the males heirs blood line. Therefore the women could not be soiled by copulating with other males.
Etymology - (from Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia)
Although the ultimate origin of the word "slut" is unknown, it first appeared in Middle English in 1402 as slutte (AHD), with the meaning "a dirty, untidy, or slovenly woman". Even earlier, Geoffrey Chaucer used the word sluttish (c. 1386) to describe a slovenly man; however, later uses appear almost exclusively associated with women. The modern sense of "a sexually promiscuous woman" dates to at least 1450.
Another early meaning was "kitchen maid or drudge" (c. 1450), a meaning retained as late as the 18th century, when hard knots of dough found in bread were referred to as "slut's pennies". A notable example of this use is Samuel Pepys's diary description of his servant girl as "an admirable slut" who "pleases us mightily, doing more service than both the others and deserves wages better" (February 1664).[6] "Slut" and "slutishness" occur in Shakespeare's comedy As You Like It, written in 1599 or 1600. In the nineteenth century, the word was used as a euphemism in place of "bitch" in the sense of a female dog.
As you can see from what I put above the word "slut" has not always had the meaning it has to day. At one time it was even meant as somewhat of a complement. That doesn't change how it is used today.
Today our views on sex and women are more enlightened at least in most western countries. The younger you start to have sex, say in high school and the more sex partners you have at that time, the more chance you will be called a slut.
When you are older, as an adult women are fully entitled to a sex life. Fewer and fewer men expect their wives to be virgins on their wedding nights. Fact is very few men will hang around long enough to get to know a women if sex is not part of the relationship. Still if a women has too many partners she will pick up some type of derogatory sexual label.
THe best way to keep from being labeled is to keep your sex life to yourself. Unfortunately teenage boys have big moths and have to brag about their sexual conquests and that is another way a girl gets a label.
So I'm a girl, and I'm starting to wonder if I'm bi. You see, I notice cute guys on TV, and cute girls on TV and like looking at guys abs amd girls in bikinis. I could imagine myself being with a girl amd boy the thought of kissing a hot member of each sex seems fun. I've never actually dated someone and at the time I'm crushing on a guy. I'm guessing my mom notices my confusion because she is trying to wiggle it out of me. She says she wouldn't mind she just wants to know and not get supprised if I marry a girl. But I don't know how to figure it all out. Also, being bi seems fun u can date anyone u want.
There is nothing wrong with being bisexual. The only problem with being bisexual is while in high school if the other kids were to find out you would be ostracized by your classmates, teased and possibly hurt as they would not understand. College it would be different as Bisexuality is somewhat rampant especially for women. Mostly because it is safer, more convenient and the fact that girls usually outnumber boys. Once college is over most all girls go back to being straight.
Now as for actually being bi. Since you have not given your age I will assume you are a young teenager in the early throes of puberty. If so it is completely normal to be wondering about your sexuality; which I believe is what you are experiencing at the moment. If you were bi you would have known this long before puberty hit you.
Both boys and girls go through a phase during puberty where they wonder and explore their sexuality. During this phase the may explore have some form of sex with the same sex. This is all totally normal and part of the teenagers passage into becoming an adult.
My advice is enjoy who you are today. Explore your sexuality and when the time comes you will know who you are sexually.
Let's say I believe in many things, God, third eye (mines open, I can see spirits and see futures sometimes), empathic (I've been told I'm one),and witchcraft, etc.. I've never told anyone I can do these things, unless they told me They could do it too. But my teacher knows I believe in God and once she found out she started treating me extremely rudely. Why do atheists hate so much? And why do they care of others belief? And when anyone mentions religions, she attacks. She starts saying,“let's not be rude." “shhh." “Quiet. No talking of it." How do I deal with this stupid, closeminded bitch?
I wish I could explain to you why Atheist are the way they are in a logical way but I can't I don't think anyone can. The believe only in what they can see and very little of that.
Religion relies on faith. Faith is something you feel but really never see. Since faith cannot be seen to an Atheist it is not real. I can't tell you whether religious faith is real as it is a very individual thing. what I can tell you is we all have some type of faith which does make faith real.
I have faith in myself and my abilities. I have faith in my wife that she is true to me. My son is a firefighter paramedic. I have faith in his ability to save lives. so to me faith is very real. I would say that even an atheist has some faiths some of the same ones I just went through. For then to say say their belief that there is no god be or religion because it is faith based and they believe only what the can say to me is hypocritical of themselves because they need to have some faith if only in themselves just to get by.
As for their anger over everything they believe, which is also based in a manner of speaking, faith based. I would think their anger is over always being told their beliefs are wrong. No one likes to constantly told that their wrong or their view or values are wrong. Eventually you strike out at these people. This is my belief of why they have such anger.
How do you deal with this? You ignore them. I know as your teacher it is hard to ignore her. If she is teaching you cannot ignore her and you can correct her as a teacher if she tries to interject her beliefs rather than teach the subject manner. You can even go to the principal and complain if she does this. At other times when she is not teaching you it is perfectly acceptable to ignore her.
My gf wants me to be submissive... I don't even know what it means. Please can someone explain
There are several different meanings for that the word submissive can be used in. First I will give you the dictionary meaning:
sub·mis·sive
[suhb-mis-iv] Show IPA
adjective
1.
inclined or ready to submit; unresistingly or humbly obedient: submissive servants.
2.
marked by or indicating submission: a submissive reply
Generally speaking when a GF or BF wants the other to be a submissive they are talking in a sexual meaning. This could simply mean coming from a girlfriend that she does not want to be the bottom as in the missionary position but rather the top in say the cowgirl position. This gives her a bit more control on how deep you penetrate her.
It could also mean she wants to explore alternative sexual practices such as BDSM. BDSM if you are not aware is Bondage, Discipline, Sadomasochism. This is definitely something you would want to discus with her before going in that direction.
Below is a URL to Wikipedia page on BDSM. IF this is the direction you think your girl friend is heading and you are unfamiliar with it then read this page before talking with her.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Submissive_(BDSM)
I was out to eat with my husband a few weeks ago. The place was a restaurant bar. There was a good lookig guy at the bar that kept checking me out. After dinner we decided to hang out at the bar. My husband wanted to get into a game of pool with someone so I took a walk to the ladie's room. While washing my hands that good looking guy came in and stood behind me. He started to fondle my breasts and I just stood there and let him do it. I was wearing a sun dress and he reached under and pulled my panties down and I stepped out of them. He leaned me over towards the sink and started having sex with me. I did nothing to stop him and allowed it to happen. I was afraid someone would walk in on us. No one did and he made me orgasm. After he came inside me I turned around and kissed him. He asked if he could keep my panties and I said yes. I have been walking past this restaurant a few times since this all went down and I saw him inside a few of the times. I want to go in and do it again with this guy but seem to be afraid of being caught. Am I wrong for wanting this passion a 2nd. time?
YES. Fact one: You cheated on your husband. Fact two: If this guy wanted to see you again he would have asked for your number. Fat Three: This guy took advantage of an opportunity and you allowed it to happen. Don't make the same mistake again.
Put this behind you and forget it. If there is a problem in your marriage work it out, get counseling or end your marriage. Cheating on your husband is not a way to save your marriage it is a way to ruin it.
I don't care if it sounds lame,I just do. And by that I mean without my sister, or brother, or dad, just with her. But she's always busy. She goes to work monday-Friday, and she doesn't have one of those jobs where you take summers off. Also Tuesday and Thursday she has to go to court reporter school. And on weekends she is always shopping, or going to the laundry mat, or cleaning the house. And when I try to go to the store with her My sister starts whining on how it was supposed to be a “me and mommy day" and I end up staying home because I know she'll cry the entire day. I remember when I was an only child and got her undivided attention, and when I had only one sibling, who was born perfectly normal so I still got some attention, but once my brother came along, and we found out he is special, so he kinda gets most the attention now. And it just seems silly to tell my mom I wanna play a game, or watch a movie with her when she needs to do that with my brother because he needs to interact or whatever, and I just wanna do it. I'd say my brother gets 80%, my sister %15 and me %5. And that's just needs, like driving me to school, or other places, making meals, etc... and night won't help, because she has to put my siblings to sleep, and although my sister is 4, here's the routine: mom puts her to sleep. Then some time passes. Then she wakes up and goes to my mom amd makes her sleep with her. mom says I always hated sleeping with her. I always wanted to be in the crib (or my bed when I got it). I was always the independent one who can do mostly everything for myself, so I guess my mom thinks I don't need anybody. But i want her. I'm embarrassed because this is so long so I'll stop here.
Don't be embarrassed you took the space you needed to so we could understand you problem.
It is understandable why you would want some alone time with your mother especially if you are a girl. There are just some things a girl cannot talk about with their dad. Even boys need some alone time with their mom but girls especially as they go through puberty need this special time with mom.
From what you have written mom definitely has her hands full with your siblings and you know that. Still to grow into a young lady you need your mom to show you the way. You have in your own words proven to your mom that you're somewhat independent and capable of caring for yourself. Understand mom sees this as a helpful blessing and is waiting for you to come to her when you need her or have questions. Otherwise with you remaining silent she is probably feeling you are doing fine and she just keeps an eye on you.
What I suggest is this. In that time after the little ones go to bed and before you go to bed. Go to mom and tell her you need some "me" time with her. Ask her if it is possible to take a vacation or sick day and the two of you spend the day shopping or goofing off away from the younger kids. So you and she can just talk and maybe get a Burger or pizza together.
If I am right in what I am thinking about your mom and how she sees you; this is what she is waiting for. If she has the vacation or sick day I'm sure she will make it happen. If she doesn't I trust she will find a way to give you some "me" time with her.
Their is this boy name Anthony and I'm wondering if it's ok to date him when I'm older then him
As long as you are both under 18 it is perfectly fine. Once you reach age 18 or if you are now 18 or older there cannot be more than 4 or more years difference in age or it is unlawful to date him.
I'm going to start by saying that I have a hard time deciding on what to do for my future. I feel lost and I don't know what to do.. I recently graduated high school, which mean looking for collages is the next step. I have a dream of working in a studio with people that make cartoons or movies. I love art so I want to become an art teacher,as you can see I like art but now I have the choice to either continue working on on my math and other skills or just go straight to an art school where I focus little on my math,english,writing etc I don't know what to choose:/
First; we can't answer these questions for you, we can only make suggestions. Second you are running somewhat behind schedule on this as all the colleges and art Schools, with the exception of Community Colleges, have made their selections and offers to students for the fall semester. This means for the fall semester whatever you chose you will need to start in a Community College.
You say you would like to be an Art Teacher or work in an Art studio making movies or cartoons. From my perspective going to College and getting your teaching credentials as an Art Teacher gives you the most bang for your Buck. I would think that some of the same skills you need to teach art would be needed if you decide you don't like teaching and want to work in an Art Studio.
Teaching also provides another option. Teachers work 185 days a year. There are 104 weekend days in a year this leave 61 days of other holidays for a total of 165 days you can do freelance art work either working part time at a studio or for yourself. To me this is the best of both world. The school system provides your base income and benefit package along with retirement. You have a variety of options available to you in the Art world to supplement you teachers salary.
My suggestion would be to start the fall semester at you local community college with college level math, English and writing the basic course that will transfer to the teachers college of you choice for the spring semester that you are accepted to.
Me:17 bf:22
My bf and I have been dating secretly for 2 yrs. I can't tell my parents because of religious reasons and their personal beliefs. My bf is not happy that we are a secret and I hate to see him not happy and I really cannot tell my parents. I'm also not happy because he's not happy. I want to end the relationship because I don't know where it's heading if we are a secret. He has told him parents but I can not tell my parents. What do you guys think?
I think you need to end the relationship but not for the reasons you give. The 5 year difference in your ages could get him a long jail term if your parents find out and you are under the age of consent in your state. The charge would be statutory rape. You don't have to be in a sexual relationship. The law assumes in this case that because of the age difference sex could be occurring and it is unlawful for someone under the age of consent, a minor, to be in a sexual relationship with an adult.
If your parents were to find out they could file charges against him. This would be a very good reason to give to end the relationship if as you say you want to.