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I sometimes take long breaks from the site. I'm more than happy to answer anyone's questions, but just make sure they're not too time sensitive. :)Facts about me:
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ok im a 13yr old female and have been a cutter for 2 years.i know its a terrible thing,im getting some treament but stin ill kinda confused:im covered with cuts and scars,shoulder to ankle.i think there soooo ugly but hate when they fade.i want them to stay fresh and bleeding forever it seems,and dont know why.i do NOT want to stop cutting becousse it helps a ton becouse i m bullied and all that shit.i get sad when i take a shawer becouse all the blood washes away and it helps me so much and i dont want them to go.some day i may want them to go but not any time soon.im also triggered by bare wrists.in a way im just ashamed of what ive done to myself and want to be free of it.but i dont want to have scar free wrists and i cut more if i notice if they have perfect skin becouse im jelous in a way i geuss ..its become an everyday thing were i cut a ton pleases help im scared ill kill myself even though iv tried before.have i gone crazy????
This is an addiction that you just have to get through. Keep working on your treatment. There will be times when it's really hard, but keep trying. Talk to the person you're getting treatment from about what you're feeling. It'll go a long way. It may be harder to do that than to ask for advice on here, but the people on here don't know you or your situation personally. You can absolutely do this and you'll be so much happier in your life when you get past it. You're not crazy, you're just going through what it takes to get over an addiction. If you keep with it, it may suck now, but you won't feel crazy when it's over. Good luck!
Okay so here's the thing. I don't have anybody to talk to about sex. My boyfriend and I were having drysex, with clothes on. But we barely had any time, so he didn't 'come'. There was no wetting of his pants. I have heard of pre-cum however. I was wondering if there is any chance of getting pregnant due to pre-cum, as my pants were wet.
It's very unlikely, don't worry about it. The thing is, though, that if you weren't sure, why did you do it? That's really dangerous. Make sure that in the future if you're not sure about something, you find out before you do it! The risk isn't worth it. The website below is a good one if you have other questions or you can always ask again on here. Just make sure you ask BEFORE you do something that could be risky!
http://kidshealth.org/teen/sexual_health/
So, this goes back to when I was like 16 or 17 and I got my first debit card. It was a simple little check card where I could put my money in... the little money that I had lol. Well, I remember going on this trip back in high school and when I got back and checked my bank account, I saw -$600 something dollars. That is NEGATIVE SIX HUNDRED SOMETHING DOLLARS. I was freaking out. Plus, I didn't even have a credit card or credit or anything like that. I was still in high school and wasn't even 18 yet, so I couldn't apply for a credit card. I thought this would affect me when I did want to apply for one, which wasn't so far away. I asked her what had happened? Why had my account been overdrawn?! I never even used that card. It was like a savings account. She replied, "How did you think we were going to go on that trip?" As far as I've heard, that's never been taken care of. When I was 18, and had just started college, I opened up a new account at what was Wachovia at the time (Wells Fargo). They mentioned that they did a search on me and that something came up about my old bank (bank of america). I said I didn't know what they were talking about because my mom said that they would take care of it. I asked my mom about it after and she's like "don't worry about it." So, I didn't worry about it.
The prom dress story is another one. I had gotten this dress for my winter prom back in high school. Actually, my mom had gotten it for me. Then, I started to get these phone calls saying that I had given a check that bounced back and I was going to get arrested. I had detectives calling me and the store calling me saying that they were sending the police. I didn't know what they were talking about. I was scared. Then, I found out that my mom wrote a check in my name! And no one ever even bothered to CARD HER?! I was 17 at the time... so, I was a minor, I don't even know if that's legal. So, finally, they found out the culprit and she took care of it. She just had to go to this one day class... kind of like traffic school but for finances.
About a year later, I got my very own credit card that was for a students. So, it didn't have that big of a limit. Maybe like $800. I totally forgot about the old bank thing. I figured it was taken care of since my credit was approved. Then, I opened up credit cards at different department stores so that I could build credit. I never used them. I just activated them and that's it. But, I don't like to use them because their CREDIT CARDS. Soon, I see my mom rushing to get statements in and really worried. What happened? It turns out she used my macy's credit card and victoria's secret and started buying things like crazy. She was using my main credit card too. Then, I tried opening accounts and I was getting denied. I was really worried, because I this point, I wasn't even 20 yet and she was ruining my credit. I asked her why my credit card with a limit of $800 had been maxed out? The only thing I had ever used it for was to pay for gas, because I didn't have enough money on me and I really needed gas. Those are the kind of emergencies you use a credit card for. Then she mentioned that another time we went somewhere, she had used my credit card to pay for tickets to a theme park.
At the time, I wasn't working. My mom had volunteered to pay for my credit cards. The reason why is because I am very responsible and never used them. I only had them to build credit. I only agreed to get my own credit card in the first place for emergencies. She knows that I would never spend money on the credit card because I'd be too scared lol. Then, she couldn't pay for the credit card on time or enough, and they lowered my limit. I'm getting declined on everything. They took away the Macy's credit card... AND I'M NOT EVEN BUYING THINGS!
Now, I'm graduating from college and marriage is around the corner. How am I going to fix all of this?! The only credit that I'VE ever used is my credit card TWICE IN THE PAST FOUR YEARS to pay for gas. And the only loan I've ever taken out was for school. I don't want my mom to go to jail. She's been through a lot and lost her job and I guess she thought that was her life line. She made a mistake but she's only human and she loves me. Now, I'm working part time and starting my career in 90 days! I already have a job waiting for me when I graduate. But, this is really serious. We're talking about thousands of dollars here... dating back to high school. What can I do?
You MUST hold your mom responsible for this. It's unlikely that she'll have to go to jail. There are a few reasons that you have to do this. The number one reason is because she needs help. She needs serious help and she's not going to get it if you keep facilitating her addiction and behavior. It's so unfortunate, but at this point you have to think of it as if you've reversed roles. You need to act like the adult parent here because she is acting like a child. No parent should do this to their child no matter what the financial circumstances are. Do not ever make excuses for her like "it must have been her life line". No. She has a serious addiction and it has to be treated as such. You have to do the hard thing here and hold her responsible so that she can get help. It's in her best interest as well as yours. If you ignore what she's done and believe that she won't do it again, you'll have problems for the rest of your life. The other thing you need to do is protect yourself. How is she getting your cards/accounts? Make sure that she can't. Change your social security number if you have to. Speak to a professional to see what needs to be done to protect your identity from her. Keep everything under lock and key. Again, you have to treat this like it's a drug addiction. My advice to you is to talk to a lawyer. Tell the lawyer what's going on and find out what you can do. The lawyer will work with you to clean up your name, make sure that your mom doesn't go to jail, and try to get your mom the major help that she needs so she can live a happy, healthy life. I wish you the best of luck and even though it's going to be hard, a lot of the time in life, the hardest thing to do is also the RIGHT thing to do. You may have to see your mom suffering, but wouldn't that be okay if in the end she could be content within herself? I'm sure she doesn't want to be screwing up your life and whatever inner problems she has, you can help her to heal.
I'm in college and feel a little sad right now. I'm sitting in my room all by myself when everyone else is out having a blast with other people. Don't get me wrong I have a ton of friends, close ones at that, but at the end of the day (sometimes, not always) I'll have nowhere to go out and nothing to do. All my other friends have a go-to group of friends that they can be around whenever they want, or boyfriends, or guys they can invite over and hook up with if they're lonely. I have absolutely no guys which is depressing in itself but also no girlfriends I can just hang out with any time I please. Everyone else seems to have a special social agenda that I'm penciled into. I just kind of feel like a stray sometimes. My housemate's away and I have no one to stay with me. Everyone is doing other stuff tonight that I'm not a part of. I'm a very independent person and enjoy spending time by myself but not on a weekend night like this. Maybe I just need to come out of my shell a little more even, with my close friends.
Oh gosh, this sounds like almost exactly what I went through in college. It may be surprising to know that you're not in the minority when it comes to your situation. It may seem like everyone's out having a grand old time and you're the loser stuck in your room, but that's just not the case. There are a whole lot more people feeling what you are feeling than you think. The next time you go to the dining hall (if that's where you get your food) take a quick look around. You'll see a few people sitting by themselves. The good news is that college isn't forever. It's an awkward time, but it's not going to last for much longer. It may seem like an eternity when you're in it, but a few years after it, it's likely that even the people with fantastic social lives won't be friends with each other anymore. I started to have a better go of it when I joined a club. I knew that the people in the club weren't really that great of friends either, but it gave me something to do and people to socialize with. I felt way, way less lonely. The best club to join would be some sort of Christian club or organization. They're always out doing fun stuff and they're very accepting of people right away. If you're not into that, intramural sports is always a good idea. You'll get close with your teammates and have a great time (this is what I did). If you're not into sports, there are so many clubs that there will definitely be one that you'd like. It takes a bit of courage to get started. Actually signing up and meeting people sucked at first for me, but that was only a day or two of awkwardness. It was well worth it to have something to do besides wallow in self pity for another semester. It's hard to find your place in and amongst all of these people who seem to have it all figured out. Just give yourself a chance, take a risk, and sign up for something. If you don't like it, you can always just try something else. Good luck! :)
so im a virgin and my boyfriend is a virgin but we have fooled around. we have been together for almost two years and i just found a bump on my vagina. is there something wrong. do i have something. i have polysystic ovarion syndrome but i dont know if its from that. should i be worried. should i go to the doctor. if so what doctor?
It could be a small cut, a pimple, an ingrown hair, or one of many things that isn't a concern. Chances are, it's nothing. If it's painful, if it gets worse or if others start showing up, it may be something that you should ask a doctor about. Even though there's a chance it could be something bad, it's normal to get bumps in that area, especially if you shave there. If you're still worried, I'm sure that since you have polysystic ovarian syndrome that it would be easier to set up an appointment without your parents getting too suspicious. Easier yet, just call your doctor and maybe you can get things resolved over the phone. You don't need to contact any sort of specialist, just your regular doctor. In order to put your mind at ease, my advice for you is to just give your doctor a quick call. Your doctor will be able to give you more information about what is a concern and what isn't. Good luck! :)
http://kidshealth.org/teen/expert/girl_stuff/ingrowns.html
26/f
First of all, I am a desperate woman people.
Seriously, desperate.
You have no idea of the high level of desperation i find myself in. If I post this, there is a dangerously high chance someone will recognize it and know that its about me. If I dont I might actually go ape on myself. Yes, I am now fiercely camouflaging my actual doubt and desperation with humor.
About two years ago I found the love of my life. He is my first love, my first boyfriend, and I love him deerly. Let this be known, LOVE HIM -very important detail for rest of story-.
Even though I am a very socially flawed person and I probably should talk to a professional for various reasons, he wanted me to be his first girlfriend. Note that we are not in high-school so its all a little more serious than puppylove. Despite my flaws, I would describe myself as a loyal friend, who tends to neglect herself a little bit when it comes to friends and family. People have taking advantage of that, I've been bullied a lot at school blablabla insecure yadiyadah you get the point. - this may seem very much but trust me it is poignant - I have a very good relationship with my dad who had me at 57. He's been married 3 times before my mom and has been cheated on by all previous wives and I have wished them dead on more than one occasion for that.
One day my boyfriends best friend threw a new years bash at her place. There was a fancy dress code involved and I reluctantly pressed myself into a dress and heels and tried to look well..presentable. As I mentioned I am socially awkward and I get nervous around new people. For some insane reason I decided a little wine (or vodka, tequila and maybe some malibu) was a good way to get loose and socialize. There was this one guy - yep, here we go! - who I thought was always nice to me, treated me like I was used to being treated before I got a boyfriend, as one of the guys. So I generally talked with him and goofed around a bit. Now, at this point I was a little drunk. I do not remember a thing about this but people told me afterwards that I was getting emotional so I had to go outside for a bit. He, allegedly, followed me outside and the bastard tried to kiss me while my boyfriend, HIS best friend, was inside!
I really dont remember this, from the bottom of my heart, theres nothing whatsoever in my brain that says: hey, you did this.
But he got caught by someone, who then told him not to hit on his best friends girlfriend and that he was being an arse for trying to kiss a drunk girl (this is aalll hear-say, I really dont know anything about this). Strangely though, it did not occur to him to HELP ME GET SOBER or TELL ME TO GO HOME. But this is something that I would have done. Not everyone gives a fuck (yes, I blame this guy a little bit too). My boyfriend was oblivious to all this as he, too, was intoxicated greatly. I guess I managed to get a grip and ask him to bring me home crying and sobbing and mascara-ing all over his shirt. I remember a toilet - him holding my hair - and being put to bed.
This is my memory so far. Nothing more. Had it been more, I would have told you (this to avoid questions).
The guy who tried to kiss me at the party followed us, because he was tired too. This, in my state, I did not realize. My boyfriend still didnt know he tried to grope me at the party, so naturally he left a little aggravated about my drunken behavior, and went back to the party. I fell into a coma only to wake up with someone on top of me feeling me up. I, still drunk as hell as it was probably a 2hour coma, made the stupid assumption that it was my boyfriend. Naturally I started doing a little touchy feely kissy of my own only to come to the conclusion that it was not my boyfriend, but that it was that gross perv of a best friend of his trying to sex me. I dont know why, had I not been drunk I am SURE, SURE SURE, I would have performed a very nasty castration. But I wasnt. And so I just laughed. Laughed it off. He told me things like that he was hot for me, and he wanted me blahblahblah. I just laughed and asked him what he was doing and why he was doing it and i remember just being very casual about it. As if he had just dropped a mug during a hurricane or something, it just didnt seem like a big deal. More like hilarious? I dont get myself on this. One thing I remember very distinctly though: that I REALLY wanted my boyfriend to come home at that point. I called him and he came home, found me happy and bouncy and I have no clue why I was. I just was. There's another gap as to what happened between calling him and him coming home. I was happy to see him, and I wanted to hold him and go back to sleep.
The next morning I had THE biggest WTF moment anyone ever had on this earth. I didnt know what happened I just knew something bad happened and it involved my boyfriends best friend. Who was freaking sleeping in the room. I really didnt have to think about telling my boyfriend or not, I knew I had to. It was a horrible moment. Before I had even mentioned his best friends name I could see in his eyes that he knew exactly what had happened. Turns out that guy always had been a big pervy arsehole. He just gets away with it. When he woke up he acted, or not I dont know, like he was surprised and he couldn't remember a thing. He uttered some apologies and another friend who was there also advised him to leave. When everyone was gone it was disastrous. I was crying, he was crying hysterically. You do not want to hear a guy cry like that, trust me. My heart broke into a thousand pieces because I knew I was responsible for it. He believed me without question though, and for that I am so thankful.
I felt so guilty, I really hated myself for drinking that much. I knew that if I hadnt, this wouldnt have happened. I would never do something like this, its just not in my capacity. His friends all think im a slut, probably. Even though its been so long I still feel so bad. I really dont want to ever meet this guy. And I didn't have to until a few weeks ago, when I heard he's going to be at a party I really wanted to go to with my boyfriend at a friends house. I cant really talk to anyone, I tried one time with a friend of his but she totally fucked me over on that and now I'm just afraid to bring it up. Meanwhile, my boyfriend still hangs out with this dude as he is "part of the click". He did tell me that he prefers not to be alone with him, and that he would never invite him to any social event he hosts. I believe him, though it took me some time as I could never, ever forgive someone for pulling shit like that. At this party, I know my boyfriend is going to be civil, or worse, nice with this guy. For the group. If I go, I will probably have to sit there and see people be nice to this kid, my boyfriend joking around with him. I dont think I can handle that. Its just wrong. I have been deserted by friends I had for a loooong time for a LOT less. Why is that little shit still being accepted?
Bottom line: is this considered, and this word makes me cringe, something like rape? Involuntary sexual encounter? Or whatever? Have I done something to instigate this? I’ve been invisible to most guys all my life. I don’t know what flirting is, hence the conclusion that I must be too socially inept to grasp these basic forms of communication. My boyfriend seems to be completely over it. He loves me, he tells me all the time. I’m good to him. But whenever there’s a party invite, I have to ask him: Is..HE coming? And whenever this occurs I re-live all of the drama. I have nightmares again, I cant sleep. I feel horrible. I just feel all this guilt. Could it be that I have done something unfaithful but just cant remember it? It seems so unlikely. Im really starting to doubt myself. I don’t feel like the person I was before, like suddenly Im just like the girl that your mom tells you to stay away from. Because I feel like an asshole, I start to neglect myself even more in the relationship, with little things. Paying for his drinks, movies and stuff while I really don’t have the means for it. But I do. Because I feel I have to. I’m sorry its so long, I guess I had a little venting to do also..I’ll probably regret posting this at one point, but some genuine input would be greatly appreciated.
You were absolutely raped. This guy has taken so much from you. You never gave him consent. You were drunk. You may be socially inept and maybe even a little insecure, but you know in your heart of hearts that, even though it makes you cringe and you may never have thought it could happen to you, that you were sexually assaulted. You need to get help. Talk to a counselor or a therapist or call a hotline. You didn't do anything wrong at all and you don't deserve to be feeling all of this pain. You should be upset that your boyfriend is still friends with this guy. That's really awful. You should be taking him to court over what he did and here your boyfriend is palling around with him. That's just not acceptable. My advice to you would be to call a hotline for advice. You need to talk to someone that has a lot of experience with this sort of thing. I really think that you should have this guy arrested and that you should start seeing someone to try to heal from all of this. Definitely talk to some sort of professional. You can't just let this go. It wouldn't be fair to anyone involved. This guy is a predator and he can't be allowed to do this to anyone else ever again. There's actually an "online hotline" which may be easier than making a call. You can find a link to it from this website: http://apps.rainn.org/ohl-bridge/. I know I'd feel a lot more comfortable talking to someone online than having to speak on the phone, I'm a bit socially awkward too. The number for the hotline is 1-800-656-4673 if you'd rather call. This could really, really help you. Try contacting someone and see where things go. Do this for yourself because you're worth it. I'm so, so sorry that this happened to you. Unfortunately, in order to heal, it may take just a little push from yourself to make that first contact. You can do it and you can get through this. You say you're socially awkward, but you're actually really articulate and likable from what you've written here. I wish you the best of luck and I hope that guy rots.
So I met this guy online and we've been talking almost constantly for a week or so and I think he's really awesome. He's a total sweetheart who has a great job and wants to do everything he can to help me. He's like everything I want but I'm not attracted to him at all. I was so disappointed when I webcammed with him and found out that he didn't really look like I thought he would.
I feel like such a b*tch because I REALLY like him but I can't get into him. I'm supposed to meet up with him (with a friend of course) next week and he wants to take me shopping and out to eat and he's even helping me get a job.
I feel so bad! I want to like him I really do!
What do I do? Please help!
I don't want to let him go. :(
You may not think he's the hottest guy ever, but you have to remember that nobody can ever measure up to our dreams! When you have certain expectations, it's easy to be disappointed.
Have you ever taken a drink of something and thought it was something else? For example, sometimes I'll drink what I think is water, but it actually ends up being Sprite. I really like Sprite, but because I thought it was water it tastes SO BAD.
What I'm trying to say is that you have to give him a chance. Like Solost said, maybe there will be chemistry when you see him in person. How would you feel if he didn't like the way you looked and decided that he didn't want to be with you because of that? Probably terrible! Give him a chance. Webcam can be really impersonal and not flattering. You might find that he's more attractive in person. His personality should make him more attractive too.
Meet up with him a few times before you make your decision. If you're really not attracted to him, a relationship may not work. You have to give it enough time to separate him from the perfect image that you made up for him. You may not be exactly what he expected either, but it seems like the two of you really get along. I'd rather be with someone that I meshed with and wasn't attractive than with someone that I didn't get along with, but that I found attractive. This guy deserves a big chance!
Just to be safe, another precaution you should take is to tell someone that you trust that is not going with you that you're meeting up with someone from online. That way, if something bad happens to both you and your friend, someone else might know enough details to get help. Also, even if he's exactly who he says he is and he seems trustworthy, don't get into a car with him or go anywhere other than what was planned. Bring a friend to the second date too, if there is one. :)
Good luck!
Hey . My name is Stephanie im 16. I'm fallinq hard for a guy (he's 18) I've know him for about 6 years but started actually being friends for 2. When summer began about 3 months ago we started hanging out & going to the movies, he would take me bowlinq & we went to knotts berry farm together & stuff . We met because we go to the same church & our parents are friends so after church we always get to go out and eat all together as a big group and its great ! One time when we went to the movies we started holdinq hands and we kissed , he told me he liked me& I liked him and now every time we go out its the same he kisses me & we act like a couple ..People are always saying were a cute couple but actually he hasn't asked me out & I really wish he did ! We were in line for a ride & he didn't want to get on & I told him he should go sit then & he said " no I wanna be here with my friend " & he just kissed me In my mind I was like "just friend ?:(" also anothe r problem is he leaves to college in 4 weeks ( his school is 2 hours away) & I'm reallly fallinq in love with hiim I.have never felt this way for AnyOne .. he keeps sayinq we have a lot to tlk about but were hardly have alone time & when we do I'm scared what he's gonna say will hurt me he says the last thing he wants to do is hurt me & I asked him thrue txt what's gonna happen when he leaves and he said said that well be far but there's txt callinq& skype & that he atleast wanted to stay friends It hurt that he said he wanted to stay friends because that's what we are RIGHt Know ! :( he will be coming once in a while on weekeneds but I don't care how far away he is I just really would like to be officially in a relationship with him knowing he my boyfriend
It seems like the relationship has just had bad timing. From what you've said, it's clear to me that he doesn't want to start a relationship with you because you won't be able to be together. Yes there is skype and everything, but for some people, it's really important to be able to be together and have a physical connection. I know that you want to try having a relationship with him. You're probably looking for advice on how to talk him into it. Unfortunately, this wouldn't be a good idea. If you can get him to be in a relationship with you he might end up cheating on you and even if that doesn't happen, the relationship probably won't last and it probably won't be a healthy one.
You definitely need to talk to him about what he wants and what's going to happen, though. Maybe he's just afraid and he really does want to be in a relationship with you. You absolutely have to tell him that he's being ridiculous by saying that the two of you are just friends. You may not be in an official, exclusive relationship, but you definitely have a romantic relationship. Tell him that even if it's not going to last because he's going away that it hurts you when he says that you're just friends. You're not just friends and he needs to be honest with himself about that. Tell him that he needs to stop playing with your feelings and using you. If he's really just going to go away to college, it's not fair to you for him to continue being romantic and leading you on. He should respect you more than that.
Even though you probably won't listen and it's going to be hard because you do have feelings for him, this is not a good time and these aren't good circumstances to start a relationship. My advice to you is to let him go and let him have a year in college. Like I said, it seems like that is what he wants. It's not what you want, but you really don't want to push him or things could turn out badly. Don't break contact with him, but be careful that you're just being a friend instead of coming off like you're still longing for a relationship. If you can't just be a friend, it's better to stop talking to him. Let him have his space. It's going to suck, but after his year in college, talk to him and see where things stand. If you still have feelings for him at that point, tell him. At any point he may change his mind and he may want to be with you. Right now though, it really seems like he doesn't.
Even though you may love him and think he isn't doing anything wrong, he really is. He's being extremely selfish and insensitive to your feelings. That needs to stop and you need to know what he wants either way. If he really cares for you he can't keep treating you like some bimbo friend with benefits that'll make out with him whenever he wants that he doesn't have to be in a relationship with. You're way more valuable than that. Make him be a man about this. Best of luck.
Hi,
I want to do something like Jay Walking, and then throw it on youtube? Like go on the streets, ask people questions, and record the stupid answers.
I know the process of recording, and I'm sure I'll be able to find out how to edit videos after a few hours of googling, but how much should I be worried about the legal aspect? I know hidden camera TV shows have to make the people sign waivers to give their permission to use it, but where does someone find a copy of that?
Or what should I do? I don't want to get sued, but I think this would be pretty hilarious?
Any advice would be great! Thanks :)
Sounds like fun! My suggestion would be to blank out people's faces.
I do not believe that you would have a problem as long as you are recording in public places and as long as you are not making money. There is no reasonable expectation of privacy in a public place. I believe that the waivers mostly exist because there's money involved. If I'm the star of a show, I may feel entitled to some of the proceeds from the show, but the waiver would say that I'm not going to get paid for my performance.
It would be best if you made everyone aware that they're being recorded rather than doing it secretly. Many people enjoy being on camera. Instead of a waiver, when you approach someone, after introducing yourself and whatnot, just quickly ask them if it's okay that you're filming them and catch their response on film. You can edit it out of your video, but you'd have their permission on file as long as you didn't save the edited video over the original.
To protect yourself, try not to film anyone under the age of 18. If you're still nervous, you can sometimes get free legal advice online (just not on here). The laws probably differ by state.
Im 13/f and Ive been thinking of going vegitarian for about a week. The only meat I really like is hot dogs and bacon... I love animals alot and I just dont want to eat them anymore. How can I tell my parents this? How can I keep up protein if I dont eat meat? I only really like carrots, potatoes, corn, cucumber, and peas as veggies. What are good meals I can have as a vegitarian? How can I tell my mom and dad? I have a friend who is a vegitarian and I told my mom she is and my mom said "its a stage you go through" but I dont want to eat meat anymore :/ Help>
It might be a little difficult for you if your family isn't on board too. It's less of a stage and more of something that you should try to see if it's for you. When I was a teenager, a good friend of mine decided to become vegetarian. It only lasted for a few months because she realized that it just wasn't for her. If this is something that you want to try, you should. Because you're only 13 though, there are a few things that you MUST do and these things may be difficult without support from your parents.
You are still growing, both physically and mentally. Cutting meat out of your diet and not replacing the nutrients/etc that you are losing would be really bad. It could affect your health and your mood. What you really should do is make an appointment with a dietician. This person will work with you to set up a good vegetarian diet plan made just for you. Your parents probably will not want to pay for this, however. If it won't fly, make sure you at the very least get a book.
The other thing you will need to consider is that you may need to start making your own meals for yourself. If your family is going to have hamburgers for dinner, they may not want to make something special for you. This isn't a huge deal because if you really want to do this, cooking your own food is a good way to take responsibility. The issue is that you'll have to somehow get the ingredients that you need. Your parents may have to buy certain foods for you. If they won't and you can't buy them yourself, you're not going to be able to do this.
In reality, going vegetarian while you're a teenager isn't a good idea. I'd advise against it. It's difficult to meet all of your nutritional needs and you're not in control of the household. A good time to start is when you're in college or on your own. I would definitely say that you should wait. If it's something that you really, really want to do, though, please, please at least get a book to help you. You don't want to be unhealthy. Being vegetarian and doing it the right way is a lot harder than it may seem.
Here are a few books I found. You may want to look in a bookstore or library first (if they still exist). That way you can look through it to see if you like it. I wouldn't trust anything that's online unless it's put out by a reputable organization. A book is your best bet.
http://www.amazon.com/A-Teens-Guide-Going-Vegetarian/dp/0140365893
http://www.amazon.com/Vegetables-Rock-Complete-Teenage-Vegetarians/dp/0553379240
http://www.amazon.com/Teens-Vegetarian-Cookbook-Judy-Krizmanic/dp/0140385061
Good luck with whatever you decide to do!
18/f
I was just wondering, how much looking would be considered over the top in a realtionship? Because my boyfriend is very attentive to the way other girls look physically. He told me he likes to "appreciate". At first i was like, he's a guy. Obviously he is going to look. But he was full out staring at all the girls in their bikinis when we went on vacation together. I love him with every aching bone in my body, and I know he would never ever cheat or do anything to hurt me. But the way he stares like that can be really suggestive sometimes and might give the wrong idea. He recently went off to college and he has been making a lot of friends that are girls, and i just asked him how much looking he actually does and he told me openly that he does it a lot. We are best friends as well, which is why he tells me all these things haha. But i still can't help but feel like it's a slap in the face to my self esteem. It's not like he would ever do anything, all he does is look. But sometimes he even does it in front of me and i have to admit, it really hurts. Sometimes he'll even talk about it, which is kind of worse in a way. I understand he's comfortable with me, as i am with him. But even though were close doesn't mean i want to hear everything. Some things are better left unsaid.
I just need opinions on whether what he's doing is over the top or not. Thankyou!
If it's bothering you, he should respect you more. He doesn't have to look. He thinks he's allowed to because he's a guy. That's a horrible excuse. Everyone, male or female has choices about what they do in their lives. Talk to him and tell him that you don't care if he looks because you know he will, but that you want him to be less obvious about it. It's fine if he looks as long as you can't tell that he's looking. Tell him that it's really obvious when he does it and it's embarrassing to you. If you notice it, other people will too. He is not only making you look ridiculous, but he's making you feel ridiculous too. He can absolutely take it down a notch. If he can't do this for you, you need to seriously consider breaking up with him. What he's doing isn't that horrible, but it is a huge sign of disrespect especially after you tried to talk to him about it. He's hurting your feelings and he doesn't care because "he's a guy". There are lots of guys out there that don't do this. If he's disrespecting you now, he'll do it again down the road about something else. If you allow him to use this excuse in this situation, he'll learn that it's an acceptable excuse to use for anything and you'll hear it again and again throughout the course of your relationship. Put a stop to it now. If he just doesn't get it after trying to talk to him again, you should start doing things that he doesn't like and tell him, "what do you expect, I'm a girl". That should get his attention. Once you get the point across, talk about how when you're in a relationship you have to make sacrifices and changes because it's not just you anymore, you're making yourself responsible for someone else's feelings too. You can't be selfish when it comes to reasonable requests if you really care about the person. Good luck!
I've been contemplating over this for a long time and I can't seem to come to a conclusion. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years, I love him very much, and I'm happy with him.
However, we have a huge issue over marriage. We got engaged almost two years ago New Years eve. We talked about it and decided we were going to get married a few years in the future.
He had told me that he didn't believe in marriage when we first started dating but I put it aside and thought, well, if he loves me I'm sure in the future he will change his mind.
Well not exactly, he says that he will marry me because he loves me and he wants to spend the rest of his life with me but he does not believe in it. He believes that marriage is unnecessary and a waste of money. He says he doesn't need a piece of paper to be committed to me.
While I understand where he's coming from, I want to have a wedding. I've always dreamed about my dress and the ceremony and having my family all there. He understands its important to me but he's so bitter about it.
Part of me is thinking well he loves me enough to go against his beliefs so there's nothing wrong with getting married. The other part of me is thinking, It's supposed to be one of the happiest days of my life and am I going to be thinking "he doesn't want to be here right now, he doesn't want to do this." I have talked to him about it and it always turns into an argument. I'm convinced that the way he feels about marriage is because of his Mother. She has had two failed marriages and he has seen her go through a bad divorce.
Personally, I do not care for his Mother, she is a very difficult person to live with and she married her last husband for his health insurance. So of course when he see's his own Mother marrying someone for health insurance I can understand why he would have a bitterness towards marriage. However, he has always told me that we should never base our relationship on other people, we do what is best for us. And as far as I'm concerned, marriage is what you make it.
His Mother decided to treat it like it meant nothing so that's how he treats it. I'm trying to decide what to do. Is it okay to go through with it because I know his love is sincere or is it not enough to overcome?
It sounds like he has some major commitment issues. Yes, he's been with you for a long time so that's not the problem, but saying that he doesn't need a piece of paper to be committed is a complete cop out. Have you talked to him about his mom? That's probably a conversation that you should have with him. People that are in love and have been together for awhile get married, it's the normal thing to do. He owes you more than a few lame excuses and mixed signals. Why would he have proposed to you if he didn't want to marry you? Isn't an engagement a promise to become married? If he really didn't want to get married, he shouldn't have done that. You're probably right about what the problem is, but the tricky part now is trying to solve it. Don't cave in to what he wants. It's dangerous to not get married if you're going to be spending the rest of your life with someone. If you start mixing money or something happens to one of the two of you, there could be serious legal repercussions. People that are gay want to have the right to get married for a reason. Not only this, but he could up and leave you without consequence 10 years down the road. That's just not fair to you. A marriage is necessary to show that you're committed because it actually commits you. You want to be really, really careful with this predicament because if he's being squirly about marriage, there is a chance that he could leave you if you push it too far. My advice to you is to talk to him about his mother. Instead of bringing it up, try to get him to explain to you more deeply why he doesn't want to get married. It's best if he brings it up himself instead of you pinning it on him. He may see that as an attack, especially if it's the truth. Don't push him too hard because he's in a fragile position right now, but you do need to push him. You can't spend the rest of your life with someone that can't commit to you. He can't just get by with saying that he's committed because the reality is that he's not. The point of marriage is to become truly committed and have something bind you besides your word, which can be broken. Another thing to consider, however, is that he shouldn't be the only one compromising here. If it would make him feel better if less money was spent on the occasion, you need to work with him on that. You may not get the dream wedding that you want, but you can certainly wear a white dress and have your family there. It doesn't have to cost more than $1,000. I wish you the best of luck and I hope that you can get him to talk about what the real issue is! :)
Ok so is it ok to hit a man when he lounges at a pregnant woman, who I might add is going thru his personal property during a disagreement. She feels like since he went thru her stuff n has been constantly accused of his own insecurities n she never did anything wrong, that when he gets physical by snatching things out of her hands n he wont listen to her when shes says stop, while she's pregnant. She takes a swing at him only bc she wants him to back off n quit lounging at her while she's pregnant n spoken words don't help stop. During her swing she barely touches him n he cries n plays victim that he's being attacked n punches her square in the face leaving her with a swollen face n spitting blood. While pregnant! His excuse is she hit me so I hit her back! What's peoples opinions on this?
Whatever is going on here it sounds extremely toxic. These people need to get away from each other, and fast. If the man is the child's father, that complicates things, but the same thing needs to happen. This is not a good situation for either person. It is never okay to have this kind of violence. The woman needs to protect her unborn child and get out of this situation, whatever it may be, as soon as possible.
im 18/f. i got 2 know him 4m my friend. we 3 became best friends. suddenly he told me that he likes my friend(who introduced him to me) that was the time i realized that i also love him but i dont want to spoil my friendship so i talked with my friend and she said that she loves him too. they got committed. i was happy 4 them. when they have some problem they used to come to me for solution i used to advice them. but some days b4 he flirted with another girl very badly my friend broke up with him and i scolded him in front of everyone. he asked sorry to us now he is talking to me like b4 and i still like him and i dont know what to do my friends are asking me to tell him but im afraid of many things
what he will think?(he told me iam his best friend.
What will my friend think? (the girl whom he was committed before).
what others will think? (everyone in knows that he was my friends bf and their breakup and me their best friend)
what should i do??? i dont want to spoil my friendship.
Because of what he did to your friend he is not a good candidate for a relationship. He can't be trusted. Even if you like him, you have to think about what the quality of the relationship would be and how this may hurt your friend. Even if you ask her if it's okay for you to date him and she says yes, she may be lying. It is best to avoid this altogether. Not only could you spoil your friendship with him, but you could spoil your friendship with your other friend too. It wasn't like he flirted with you, he flirted with someone else. If he was really that interested in you, he wouldn't be with your friend and flirting with someone else entirely. He's not a good choice for a person to date. You'll find someone else that you like. It's easy to fall in love with someone that you spend a lot of time around. Trust me, there are a lot better guys out there for you than him. You deserve way better than getting involved with him. It sucks because you do like him, but it's definitely the wrong decision to date him, kiss him, or get involved with him beyond the friendship at all. I wish you the best of luck and don't worry, you will find someone that would treat you with more respect than this guy has shown that he will in a relationship.
I am a virgin girl n had forplay with my patner n his sperms enter in my vagina.Is there is any chance of getting me pregnent???
Absolutely. You always need to be very careful. It doesn't matter if you're a virgin or not, your lady parts definitely work. There are tons of people all over the world that get pregnant their first time. If this question is something that has actually happened, don't do it again. You should be more responsible with your body. If you aren't sure about something, don't do it. It's not worth the risk. Good luck!
This guy at work asked me to hangout one night after work so I told him to text me when he got out and he did but said he was too tired to hangout. He asked me to hangout two more times after that and did the same thing. Eventually we did get together and he kissed me. Now he still asks me to hangout almost every day but then cancels out, or just doesn't bring it up again. I'm so confused, why would he be acting so weird?
You should ask him. I may be wrong, but it's possible that you're not the only one. Maybe he's asking several different people if they want to hang out and then if more than one says yes, he has to make a decision? I have no idea, it sounds weird to me too. I certainly wouldn't be kissing him if I were you until I figured out what his deal was. You definitely need to bring it up or just start saying no. Good luck! :)
This is a serious question. Please only answer if you can truly give input. I have alway been very religious. My family is Catholic and I was raised Catholic. I was baptized as a baby, had my first communion, did confirmation, etc. Somewhere along the lines, I strayed. I always believed in God and continued to love Jesus. But, I was living my life my way. When I started college, around my first and second year, I was working full time and going to school. With all this extra money, I did not invest into a savings account, move out, or even help out with bills. i did something absolutely terrible. All I would do was talk to psychics and get involved in spells and witchcraft. One of the worse parts about all of this is that my mother supported me. This isn't her fault and I am in no way saying it is. But, it just made things worse because she would help me find spell-casters and all this nonsense. She took me to this one guy that owned a feng-shui shop (i apologize for the spelling). He claimed he knew spells and magic and was psychic. He told me that he needed to put a spell one me and had to touch me down there. I thought he meant with my clothes on. He asked me to close my eyes and put his hands inside my pants. Then, he told me that for the spell to work, I needed to come to his store and masturbate in the back room. I felt so dirty. I knew right, then, and there, that all I had been doing with these people was WRONG and NOT with the Lord. I prayed so hard. I feel so guilty. This has been by far one of the worse sins I have ever committed. I feel so absolutely guilty about it. This was a couple of years ago. I am about to graduate college now and I have made a complete turn around in following my Christian faith. I read the Bible. I pray to God daily. I seek the Lord and understand that to follow Him, one must be disciplined in some way. We are only human, and to try to remotely resemble God, we must have some sort of discipline over our actions.
As a result of reading the Bible, I have a complete new view of life itself and of my faith. I would consider myself more of a Christian then necessarily being part of a denomination. I am seriously starting to question the Catholic Church. I don't understand why I have to confess my sins to a priest. I don't understand why only a priest could bless water, bless a person, or turn the host in the body of Christ. Is he a magician? He's a sinner, just like I am! Why does he get those special "powers?" The Bible says that you are to call no other man Father (except your biological father). They seem to treat the pope as if he's God, himself. The Bible explicitly says that Jesus is our only mediator to God, the Father. Why then, do we pray to Saints? It just all hit me. I have really considered converting to another Christian denomination, like maybe Episcopalian.
My cousin has chosen me to be the godmother of her daughter, who will be baptized soon (into the Catholic Church). I can't just tell her no. Catholics also believe that if you don't get married through their Church, you are not truly married, so you are living in sin by "acting" like a married couple. This is the only thing that really scares me about leaving the Church. Can anyone offer me some advice?
Last question. I know that this is a lot of information... but, masturbation feels REALLY wrong. Pleasuring myself does not make me feel very good about myself afterward, although I have never believed it to be a sin. I always thought that we were created as sexual beings, and this was just a way to release sexual tension. It's something natural, like going to the bathroom or eating. But, it feels absolutely wrong. The Bible does not mention it at all. So, it's very much a topic to pray upon and decide if it's wrong to you. But, it feels very wrong. It feels even more wrong then sex. Now, I do have another thing to ask about sex. When I met my boyfriend, we were close friends for a while. I was head over heels for him already :). I prayed SO hard that God would help our relationship grow because I loved him. And he did. My boyfriend is also a follower of Christ. But, like anybody else, we've let our physical desires get the best of us. I know that I want him to the person I look at as I'm walking down that aisle. I think the best way to head in that direction is delay sexual intercourse till marriage. I want to talk to him about not having sex without sounding creepy. I want to sound like a respectable lady, not creepy, you get me? Something along the lines of "I've always wanted to wait... maybe we should." I just need someone to word it properly for me.
So, to recap:
1) converting to a Christian denomination, but, becoming a godmother and getting married through the Catholic Church?
2) talking to my boyfriend about waiting till marriage to have sex?
Thanks!
First, you sound like a really cool and good person. I'm sure that whatever you decide to do, it will be the right decision. You clearly live your life and make decisions with a lot of thought and a lot of care. I am not Catholic, but I've gone to church all my life so I have a decent understanding of these things.
I do not see a problem with becoming a Godparent for your cousin's child. A Godparent is there to take care of the child if anything happens to the real parents. You promise to raise the child to know God and all that jazz. Even though you're questioning the Catholic church, you're obviously a good Christian and a good candidate for a Godparent. You'd do a great job. If you're worried, maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to talk to your cousin. Tell your cousin that you're maybe, kinda, sorta questioning the Catholic church. Leave it up to your cousin whether or not they still want you to fill this role.
The whole thing about not really being married is kind of a sham. To an outsider, Catholicism is filled with little things meant to make you stay. Where do they get that from anyway? I see it as similar to the other things that you are questioning. If you were to be married by a pastor that was not Catholic, then you wouldn't have the blessing of the Pope and the Catholic church. I'm not a Catholic, so I'm not sure exactly how a Catholic would explain it, but I think it has something to do with that. You should ask. My guess is that it's a little strange. Look at all the people around you that are married. They're not all Catholic. Most of them probably have great relationships. How could this be a sin? They're not acting married, they're married. They have both the paperwork and (hopefully) God's blessing, that's all you need.
Talking to your boyfriend about waiting should be easier than you think. Just bring it up - you'll know what to say. It's best to be specific instead of trying to sound classy with euphemisms. Make sure he knows exactly what you're proposing. Unfortunately, you'll have to be direct and specific. You want to wait until you get married to have sex. You don't want to give him the idea that you want to stop everything else. Make sure you fully explain want you want and let him talk about what he wants too. My husband and I waited. I remember having the conversation. It was actually his idea and he had to convince me. We talked about exactly what we could and couldn't do and, most importantly, we talked about why. He did a great job because he just spoke from his heart. He told me that it was something he wanted to do because he thought that it was right. He felt that sex was something that should only be shared between husband and wife - two people that were 100% committed. We connected sexually in other ways besides intercourse and it wasn't difficult to wait. I used to believe that you should try it out beforehand to see if you were compatible sexually, but he helped change my mind. I realized that it didn't really matter if the sex was terrible because I would still want to be with him anyway. It's a big commitment for some, though so don't be surprised if he isn't all that excited about the idea right away. Sorry I'm not telling you what to say, but it's best that you come up with the words because it is based upon your personal beliefs and only you can express that in the right way.
I wish you the best of luck and no matter what you decide to do, you'll always be alright because you've got a wonderful ally in God. :)
Why do men love blowjobs and what happens if you dont give them one
I am not a man, but I think that one of the main reasons why they like it is because they don't have to do any work. It's a wonderful gift for someone to give to them. If you don't give them one, they don't get one. Nothing happens. I'm not sure what you're meaning to ask. If someone is trying to pressure you into doing it, tell them to stop. Immediately. Be very clear and direct. If they continue to pressure you or threaten to break up with you, you're going to want to deeply consider whether or not you want to stay in a relationship with this person. You don't want to be with someone that doesn't respect you. A lot of women don't like giving them, but some do. Decide for yourself what you want. Good luck! :)
i like this guy named eli hes really cute and we like the same things but i dont know if he likes me i see him a lot but we dont go to the same schools ill see him later but im not sure what to say or how to pick up if he likes me please help
i am a female and eli is a male and we are both just beggining middleschool
If you straight up ask him if he likes you, you may confuse him. At this age, everything that goes on between guys and girls can be really confusing because nobody has all that much experience yet. If you ask him if he likes you, he may not know what to say because he'll start wondering if you like him. You may catch him off guard and he might even lie. You're putting him in an awkward position. Nobody will know who likes who or what anybody's thinking and it'll be one huge, confusing, crazy mess. To save yourself (and him!) from this, instead of asking him if he likes you, tell him that you like him. It may be more difficult, but it's the best thing that you could do. He won't wonder if you like him or not and he's more likely to get the hint. Guys sometimes have a hard time understanding you when you're not direct. The best thing about telling him that you like him is that he is more likely to like you back. It's human nature. When you know that someone likes you, you look at them differently and you may start liking them just because they like you! It's a wonderful phenomenon. If you tell him that you like him, he may become interested in you even if he wasn't before. It's possible that he never really thought of you like that. If you tell him that you like him he will have to think about you like that at least for a moment. If you really like him, that's what you want. Telling him that you like him may be the hardest thing in the world to imagine doing, but it's your best shot. The worst that can happen is that he says no! If he says no, you're in the same place you are now. Maybe you'll be a little sad about it for a little while, but at least you'll know. You don't have to ask him out or anything at this point. If he knows that you like him, it will be easier for him to ask you out because he won't be so afraid of being rejected. You'll be a sure thing. Just avoid trying to drop a hint and drop something that'll actually mean something! Good luck! :)
16/f
ok ive never had a bf in my whole life and my friends are startin to pick on me and my mom is startin to worry about me never havin a bf. Is this normal cause im not sure ive just never met 'the one'. My friends go out with people all the time and try to hook me up with people i dont even know. Guys ask me out but i just dont have the heart to say yes. Is this normal, to be 16 and never have had a bf in whole life?
Please any advise will be very thankful!!
I wouldn't say it's "normal", because, like you say, your friends are different from you in this regard. The thing is though, that there's nothing wrong with it and even though it's not normal, there are more people out there than you think that are in the same boat as you! Don't worry about whether it's normal or not, worry about whether it's right. I didn't date anyone until I was almost 19 and I'm glad I waited. I skipped over all the crap and started in ready for the good stuff. I'm married to the first guy I dated now, we've been together for almost 8 years now. You probably won't end up marrying the first person you date, but there's no reason to date someone just because your friends want you to. If you don't feel like it, you don't feel like it! There's no harm in waiting and you'll probably be happier in the end if you do. My advice for you is to stick to your guns and don't date just because your friends are giving you a hard time. If they really get on your case, bring up some of the mistakes the people they've dated have made and explain to them that you want to wait until you're a little older and people can be more mature. One thing I want to warn you about though is that you want to make sure that down the road you won't regret not dating when you were young. Sure I didn't go out looking for a date, but nobody ever asked me out on a date either and it made me feel kinda bad about myself. I sometimes wish that I had had dated in high school because I may have missed out on something. I wouldn't go back and change anything if I could, but I don't like feeling as if I should have done something differently. Make sure that you're making the right decision for you and that you can be okay with it later in life. You don't want to think back to high school and wonder what it would have been like if you'd had some dating experience. Good luck! :)