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He's everything I want but I'm not attracted to him?
So I met this guy online and we've been talking almost constantly for a week or so and I think he's really awesome. He's a total sweetheart who has a great job and wants to do everything he can to help me. He's like everything I want but I'm not attracted to him at all. I was so disappointed when I webcammed with him and found out that he didn't really look like I thought he would.
I feel like such a b*tch because I REALLY like him but I can't get into him. I'm supposed to meet up with him (with a friend of course) next week and he wants to take me shopping and out to eat and he's even helping me get a job.
I feel so bad! I want to like him I really do!
What do I do? Please help!
I don't want to let him go. :(
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You may not think he's the hottest guy ever, but you have to remember that nobody can ever measure up to our dreams! When you have certain expectations, it's easy to be disappointed.
Have you ever taken a drink of something and thought it was something else? For example, sometimes I'll drink what I think is water, but it actually ends up being Sprite. I really like Sprite, but because I thought it was water it tastes SO BAD.
What I'm trying to say is that you have to give him a chance. Like Solost said, maybe there will be chemistry when you see him in person. How would you feel if he didn't like the way you looked and decided that he didn't want to be with you because of that? Probably terrible! Give him a chance. Webcam can be really impersonal and not flattering. You might find that he's more attractive in person. His personality should make him more attractive too.
Meet up with him a few times before you make your decision. If you're really not attracted to him, a relationship may not work. You have to give it enough time to separate him from the perfect image that you made up for him. You may not be exactly what he expected either, but it seems like the two of you really get along. I'd rather be with someone that I meshed with and wasn't attractive than with someone that I didn't get along with, but that I found attractive. This guy deserves a big chance!
Just to be safe, another precaution you should take is to tell someone that you trust that is not going with you that you're meeting up with someone from online. That way, if something bad happens to both you and your friend, someone else might know enough details to get help. Also, even if he's exactly who he says he is and he seems trustworthy, don't get into a car with him or go anywhere other than what was planned. Bring a friend to the second date too, if there is one. :)
Good luck!
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I would try to get past the appearance issues... Looks are not what makes a relationship and they most certainly do not last forever. I would meet him in person and see if there is actually chemistry there... If you really like him when you get to know him, his appearance not being the way you like, will not even cross your mind. If you still find yourself unattracted to him when you meet him though, do not force yourself to like him. You will not be happy and you will only be hurting him.
I wish you the best of luck!
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