about

My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

I am going on a date to the beach with a girl. I am looking for some suggestions of food to bring since I wont be able to heat it up. Something surprising! She doesn't yet know I am planning a picnic for dinner. Please and thanks!

I'm glad you added you are a vegetarian, is she also a vegetarian? If not you may or should include a meat for her to eat.

One thing you want to avoid is anything with mayonnaise in it as even in the late afternoon and evening with summer temperatures and no refrigeration the mayonnaise can spoil and give you both food poisoning. Not a good idea to make your date sick, not if you want to date her again.

If she is a meat eater fried chicken even if it is from KFC is always a good picnic item. Then watermelon slices or fruit salad which can be found in most grocery stores prepackaged. For dessert nothing from the refrigerator case as it could actually melt or spoil before you have a chance to eat it.

As for vegetarian here again stay away from anything that has mayonnaise in it. You could start with a vegetable and cheese plate with crackers and nice refreshing dip. Followed by veggie burgers with condiments of lettuce, tomato, pickle, onion, relish, ketchup and mustard on a nice Artisan Bun. Fruit salad again would make for a nice accompaniment or chips. Dessert again anything you like just stay away from the refrigerator case.

Some supermarkets sell non-alcoholic wine. If yours does this would be very nice to go along with your picnic. Based on the menu I proposed I would suggest a white as I believe it would be more fruity.

Have fun and enjoy your picnic.

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Hi I'm 13, can I get my birth mark lasered? I have a really embarrassing birth mark on my the end of my butt, I can where regular swimsuit bottems because it shows. Do u think I can get it lasered, how much will it cost, or am I too young? Ps I've talked to my mother about it

Please help!!

This is something that possibly can be done after consulting with a plastic surgeon. If the plastic surgeon agrees that the birthmark is removable either my Laser or surgical removal and consents to doing so. Being under the age of consent you will need parental permission. Be it Laser or surgical both techniques are consider surgery and invasive. Because of this until you are of legal age to consent you cannot have something of this nature done without parental permission that's the law and there is no way around it.

I have no idea what it will cost to have either procedure done. I would assume surgical removal will cost more than laser removal as the laser removal is probably an office procedure where as surgical removal requires a hospital an OR and everything that goes with it. One thing I am sure is it is cosmetic surgery and most insurance companies do not cover cosmetic surgery.

This is definitely something you need to speak to your parents about for they may have to bear the full cost of having the birthmark removed. I know you find the birthmark ugly but have you ever asked anyone other than a family member what they thought of it. I know some guys find birthmarks extremely sexy. It really depends on the birthmark, not necessarily the location. Since you did not describe the mark itself only the location I can't say.

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My co worker is hiv positive what exactley does that mean

It is generally accepted to mean that if someone is HIV positive; they have the AIDS virus but have not yet contracted AIDS; it can be confusing. In order to be stricken with AIDS a person must first be stricken with the virus. Just having the virus though does not mean that person will develop full blown AIDS. They can be just a carrier for the virus.

For most people who are found to have the virus in them. Doctors will start them on the antiviral cocktail used to try and prevent AIDS or to treat patients with AID.

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I'm 14, soon to be 15, and I've been aware of my diagnosis for around 2 years now. I'm accepting and perfectly fine with having Aspergers, but I'm having a problem connecting with others like me. Barely any groups exist (as far as I know) especially for girls (which I am). If you know of any groups or something similar to that (including groups online where we can chat and connect) then please let me know. Thanks for reading (and answering, if you did)!!

The URL listed below is for an organization called GRASP. From what I was able to research they appear to be the largest Autism Spectrum organization. On their website, after joining their group, you and your parents will be able to view the different support groups affiliated with GRASP around the country, where they meet and how to contact them.

While looking for information for you I also found that there are a number of online groups and chat groups available. The chat groups might be a way of making some online friends possible friends close to where you live. I found these groups by entering the following into a yahoo search engine. "Autism support groups for teens"


http://grasp.org/

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Lately, I have been having a gut feeling that my husband may be big curious or even gay. In the very beginning of our relationship (been married almost three years together almost 4yrs.) He admitted that when he was younger a friend and him were playing around and the friend ended up giving him a Blow***. I asked him then if he was gay or if he would do it again. He said no. Keep that in mind. A few months back my husband his friend and I started going to the gym. My husband is a man who is in and out of the shower, 7 minutes top! Every time the two went in there they would take ATLEAST 30 mins. I take long showers I would take one myself in the girls room and would still have to wait. I have asked my husband and he said he would just wait for him. Now his friend on the other hand, let's just say if you met him you would think he had sugar in his tank. I live in a small country town and my female friend said her husband had sex with a man before. People in this town including his family say he may be gay or curious as well. For a week now my husband and I are not talking, because I feel like I am being lied too when I ask him if he is gay or bisexual. I can work with bisexual, I just want to know so we can both have safe sex. He still says NO. I don't want to think that I am over thinking everything but I don't want to end up like my husbands mother, lied to and turn out that my husband is bisexual or gay. IDC what he is, I just want to know. I have told him how I felt and how its okay to like other men. I just don't know anymore. I won't let my husband touch me nor look at me because I feel like I am being lied too. I even talked to his friend and asked in a mature matter. I was not disrespectful nor did I just pop the question are you gay? Or what's going on with my husband and you. I explained my reasons first then asked. His friend says he's not gay.

I read all 3 of the other answers and like what Dragonflymagic wrote. I know Dragonflymagic puts a lot of thought into the answers given. I generally agree with what Dragonflymagic writes as I do today, so I will not rehash what has already been stated.

You think your husband is gay or bisexual. You have no factual reason to feel this way so therefore it something you perceive. Perception is real; if you perceive it then it is real to you and no factual evidence is needed. Something has been said or done to make you perceive this.

The fact that you husbands father is gay does not mean your husband is gay. People do not wake up one morning and decide they are gay. Doctors and scientist have proven that people who are gay are born that way and know from a very early age that they are gay. As for being bisexual or bi-curious the answer to that question is still being studied.

I'm curious about this part of the sentence where you said you tried to have anal sex once and he didn't like it. Then you said; "he tried to put in and I said no, he was trying and I said stop, again all I could think of is the lies I feel he is telling me." Is this anal sex again or regular intercourse?" I'm a bit confused here as I'm looking for signals as what you might perceive as signals your husband is gay or bisexual. I'm sure the 30 min. showers are a signal you believe is telling you your husband may be gay. What other signals do you see that give you this perception? You say your husband does not look at gay porn; are you sure? Have you checked the history on his computer and phone?

As I said to begin with perception is real. What you need to do is try to find facts to make what you feel factual or disprove the perception. Your father in-law and your husbands’ friend will not out your husband if he is gay. This is something your husband would have to do when he is ready if he is gay.

What you need to do since you perceive that he is, is to be tested for STDS and the HIV/AIDS virus. This is the smart and safe thing to do. People can be infect with either of these and have no systems, they are merely carriers. Hopefully you are not infected with and STD or the HIV/AIDS virus though it is better to know your safe than not.

If you do have an STD and you have not had sex with anyone but your husband then you will have all the facts you need to prove he has been sleeping with someone else. If so then maybe he will tell the truth if there is truth to be told on what you are perceiving.

I know the testing is going to be the hardest thing for you to do. It is important that you do to be safe; you even said so in what you wrote. If you won't do it for yourself do the testing for your son, he needs you.


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So I'm a girl and I guess you could call me a nerd (I don't really like that word but I suppose it works....) I wear jeans and tshirts almost everyday (I'll wear something different on occasions, but my normal style is just easy), I'm really smart in school, I sit in the back of the class and draw or read, I watch scifi shows and the history channel. I just can't find anyone compatible with me and I've never had boyfriend. I know it's not good to change myself, but I kinda want to get some more interests that I can talk to people about, so what can I do to be less of a "dork"?

First of all I don't think you're a "nerd" or a Dork." For the record I don't like those words either. You are you people can either like you or not. One thing to remember is that high school relationships last till graduation then you will all go your separate ways. Some will go off to college, some in to the military and others off to find jobs. Few if any relationships will be life long.

Yes I understand your lonely you would like to find someone or others to hang with. Reinventing yourself is not the answer as that will be seen as false and you will be even seen as more of an outcast.

What you need to do is find people who have similar interest as you do. Not other "dorks" as you put it, but people who like to do some other things you like to do.

For now the best way I know to make new friends is to find people that common interests with you. How you do that is actually very simple. You sit down with pen and paper and write down all the activities that you like to do. You say you like the Science fiction shows and the history channel. Maybe you like to knit, cook, go hiking, garden or anything else that you enjoy doing. Then you could also include volunteer activities you may want to do and your churches youth group activities.

Once you have this list number them in order of interest from high to low. Take the top 4 or 5 and look to see what activities there are in or out of school that you can join.

Once you find a club or activity that you enjoy doing this gives you a common interest with others. This gives you something other than school work to talk to others about. Once you are talking they get to know you and you them. Before you know it you have made a friend.

I'm sure there are other things you like to do other than sit home and watch TV. Try this; I have made this recommendation many times and have received back many replies that it works.


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Hi I'm a 18 year old girl from Namibia and English is my second language. So basically my best friend just started gossiping about me and making friends with my enemy's. I've confronted her a few times but basically she doesn't "care about our friendship" any more. How can she be so cruel? I've never done anything to her and even after all of this I'm still nice to her and a good friend towards her. What should I do? We have most classes together, mutual friends and we carpool so avoiding her is out of the question.

This sounds like a typical case of perception. While you may not have done anything to deserve her meanness, for other reasons, she perceives that you do. Her perception that you do could be she miss understood something you said or someone said to her that you said something about her she doesn't like. When we perceive something regardless of its truth or how real it may be. It is real to us because we perceive it to be therefore it is.

As you are finding out this is the hardest type of problem to correct for you have no idea of what it is she may be upset about. You said you tried to confront her about this. Confronting someone means you had a confrontation or argument; maybe a poor choice of words on your part. But if you did have an argument with her over this then there was no way she was going to answer the question of what she is upset or mad at you.

What I suggest is trying to have a conversation with her. You could take the high rode in this conversation by starting with; "Suzie I honestly have no idea what I may have said or done to ruin or friendship but we have bee friend for a long time and I do value are friendship. So I will apologize for whatever I may have said done and ask for your forgiveness. IF you will tell me what it is that upset you so I will try to explain."

This is a non argumentative position where you are the bigger person apologizing even though you are unsure of what you may have done. It should show her that you value your friendship more than you value being right or wrong in this situation. You are both adults now and this is the way adults would handle this situation or should.

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How do you masturbate? I'm 14 male.

I think the best advice I can give you is to type the following question into a search engine such as yahoo or Google. "How do men Masturbate" If you do this it will return a number of sites you can go to and read what to do and how to do it.

These sites do a much better job in explaining how to then I believe any of us can as masturbation is very personal as well as a learned experience. In the end it will come down to doing what feels best for you.

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Let me start off by saying that I'm a 19 year old female. I'm worried that I may be pregnant. My last period began on May 31 and ended on July 6. The day after my period ended, I had unprotected sex with my boyfriend. I know that's not safe; we always use condoms. But this time was a spur of the moment type of deal. He did not ejaculate inside me or anything, but I still went ahead and took a Plan B pill in the morning. The pill appeared to work because I got my “new” period (from the pill I'm assuming) 4 days later. It was lasted from July 11-17. However, the situation with the pill isn’t really my main concern right now. My boyfriend and I had sex again 2 days later; he used a condom and he ejaculated. He wanted to continue because I didn't reach an orgasm yet. When he took off the already used condom, he wiped his penis with a tissue. He then proceeded to put on a new condom, realized it was on inside-out, and then fixed it. This was probably in a span of 5-10 minutes. I'm worried that there was still semen with viable sperm on his penis that got on the outside of the condom when he fixed it to be right-side out. I've done a ton of research on how long it takes sperm to die, what happens to sperm/semen when it's wiped or exposed to air, etc. I'm still not sure about these answers though. Well, it's now July 29 and my period hasn't come yet… But I've read that there are several factors that can affect/delay a period.

Here are some facts about me:
- I'm 5'4" and am underweight. I weigh around 100 lbs. I probably don't eat enough/meet my nutritional needs.
- My periods are irregular. They can last between 1-2 weeks. My cycles also can range between 15-50 days. I've had 2 periods in 1 month, and I've also skipped a period before.
- My periods range from small amounts of dark brown blood mixed with discharge, to a very heavy flow with a normal red color.
- I don't seem to experience the usual PMS symptoms, such as cramps. But I do get occasional lower back pains sometimes.
- My sleeping schedule is also pretty messed up. I've been sleeping around 6-8 am and have been waking up some time in the late afternoon. (I don't want to put the exact time because I'm too embarrassed haha...)

I've heard that your diet, sleeping schedule, taking a Plan B pill, stress, etc, can all affect your periods. After the incident with the inside-out condom, my boyfriend and I continued to have sex days/weeks after, but not frequently. After sexual intercourse, I always check the condom each time by filling it with water to check for breaks or holes, so I'm not worried about a condom breakage. About 3 days ago, I noticed a small amount of dried brown discharge/blood on my underwear. The next day when I used the bathroom, I wiped and noticed a little brown blood mixed with some milky discharge; this was a 1 time thing. Now it has been 2 days later and nothing like that ever appeared again. I'm really freaking out that this may be implantation bleeding. However, 2 days prior to finding the dried blood on my underwear, my boyfriend fingered me too hard, which caused me to bleed. I'm wondering if instead of implantation bleeding, this may have been leftover blood from that day?

Right now, I feel pretty “normal," I think. Except I may be freaking myself out and causing myself to imagine false pregnancy symptoms. I was looking at my stomach earlier and it seems a bit bloated and I feel very mild cramping in my lower abdominal region.

Considering all of this, is there a great chance that I could be pregnant? Could it be possible that my physique, diet, sleeping schedule, stress, and the fact that I took a Plan B pill, are drastically affecting my period? I apologize that this is long and may be confusing, but I would like some outside opinions on this. I plan on purchasing a pregnancy test sometime this week so I can know for sure...

Okay lets start at the top. You're 19 legally an adult entitled to all the privileges of an adult which would include a sex life. If you still live at home your parents might get upset to find you are sexually active though frankly it is no longer any of their business. I say this as a former parent of someone your age and now a future grandparent. Hopefully my saying this lowers the stress quotient a bit.

I do not think you are pregnant. Most women, about 80%, are most fertile between the 7th and 21 days of their cycle. So the first sex you spoke about, July 7, was during a safe period if you are among the 80%.

As for the other questions you asked about sperm viability. Those are harder to answer as more first hand knowledge is required. Understand this though; there are millions of sperm ejaculated by the male even in precum and only the strongest are going to make it to the egg. Sperm that have been outside the body in cooler temperatures, damaged by being wiped and coming in contact with the spermicide on the exterior of the condom; it would seem there would be little chance of these sperm being viable.

Having sex 2 days after the second period I think again if you are like the 80% of women you were again in your safe time. If you want to be really sure take a home pregnancy test.

I would also suggest that you get on birth control medication. For two reasons. First it will regulate your periods for you . Second it will add another level of protection combined with condom use which should continue. Condom use alone is only 85-90 percent effective in preventing pregnancy. Statistically there is still a 10 to 15 percent failure rate in condoms due to improper usage, being out of date and other reasons. Condoms with the female being on birth control medication improves the chances of not getting pregnant to almost 100%. We say almost 100% because nothing is 100% statistically speaking.

You are 19, you are an adult and do not need parental permission; even if using your parents health insurance. In fact your parents legally have no right to see any of you medical records without your expressed written permission. They lost this right the moment the clock struck marking your 18th birthday when you became a legal adult. Legally speaking your parents cannot even make a doctors appointment for you or drag you to a doctor when sick.

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for starters....I'm depressive, suicidal, and have anger issues. this summer i visited the Philippines with my family and visited mostly my dad's side. My life in America sucks because of my mother side and even if I did leave to go live in the Philippines no one in America not even my friends would miss me. So i asked my grandpa if i could go to school in Cebu, Philippines because he is the administrator of Peza. That is another story. Anyways my parents told me that i could go to a school called Cebu International School if I asked my grandpa. So far he's checking out the school, but the thing is school start on August 7th. Today is July 29th. I know it sounds selfish to make my family pay 18k per year to go to this year but i really need to go away. Life in the Philippines was happier for me. The kids who are going to the school applied at least a month earlier than me....and here I am asking my administrator grandpa to waltz into the school and ask if i could still apply. I really need advice if this is really the right thing to do. If i somehow manage to apply the school I would have to leave August 4th. please help

I lived in the Philippines for 18 months during the Vietnam war stationed at Clark AFB. We visited Cebu then and it was a very nice city much nicer the Angeles City outside Clark. I'm sure it is even nicer now.

Is this the right thing for you to do. I really can't say and I don't think any other of us can as we don't know you or the problems you say you have. If moving to the Philippines and living with your dads father will make you happier, no longer suicidal or depressive then yes it is the right thing to do.

What concerns me is your depression and being suicidal. I'm concerned that moving to your grandpa's will only be a bandaid for these problems not a fix. Here again I do not know you or the problems causing you to be depressed or suicidal.

If you are able to attend this school this year and move to your grandfathers I would like to continue to hear from you. To hear how you're doing, how your depression is and elicit a promise that if you are still depressed you will ask for help.

Moving away from the problems causing the depression may be all that is needed. Thanks to the Internet you can continue to contact me in private messages so I can see how you are doing.

As I said Cebu is a beautiful city and I know you will enjoy living there. By the way do you speak the language of the Philippines?

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Hey guys. By just the subject, you already know what this is about. And I know there are a lot of stuff I can find on the internet, but I personally want to ask here because I was once helped by people here regarding this relationship.

I got back with him, but then I felt like it was a bad decision. We've had great times, but this last situation really pit a dent in our relationship. Well, he wasn't all patient with me being cautious with other girls around him, so he just maybe snapped and decided to "be done" with me. I made a letter for him because I've been thinking of breaking up with him sooner because I don't want to hurt him even more and that it's what my heart and my brain says. The tone of the letter was supposed to be about a good break up, but since he's probably annoyed with all my jealousy stuff (but it's actually being worried he might replace me, not exactly jealousy), it'll be different. But I still asked him to read it, so he knows what my feelings are.

But, what I'm getting at is, what do I do now? How do I move on? I mean, you guys might say "he's just from the internet, you'll get over him easily." I'm afraid not. Because I really loved him even if we have never met. I've had relationships before, but he's different and I don't know what to do now, how to move on, or even where to start. I hope you guys can help me.

I'm a 21-year old girl, btw.

First of all I believe most things lost need to mourned for a bit. A lost loved certainly fits the need, even if it was just an internet relationship. In this case I think a good pity party is in order. My wife tells me a good pity party is a quart of chocolate ice cream, a teary love story to play on the DVD and a comfortable nightgown to curl up in while watching the movie. After the pity party you get back in the game and go out and meet people.

There are a number of different ways to meet people when you have finished mourning. I don't normally suggest the bar scene as that is mostly a booty call, rarely do significant relationships come out of any meetings at a bar.

What I like to recommend is the following as it leads to conversations. Communication is the basis of any good lasting relationship. To have a conversation there must be something in common to share. By following my suggestion in how to find people to meet you will have that commonality needed for good conversation.

Sit down with pen and paper; make a list of those things you like to do that bring you pleasure. It could be reading, biking, fixing your car, baking, cooking whatever you do for relaxation. Then number these things in order of importance to you. Take the top 5 items and look through your community and daily news paper and on the Internet for clubs and activities for these 5 items. Then go visit the clubs or join in the activities.

Maybe you like to act. I don't know of any community that does not have a community playhouse. Maybe you're an artist that same playhouse always need set designers. Maybe you just like the theater. There are a 101 jobs that need to be done to put on a play. There should be one you can fill.

Be it a book club, the theater production, hiking, nature walks they all have one thing in common that being a common interest that you can walk up to someone, male or female and talk to about. That is how you start to make new friends and love interest in the adult world. In school it was easier and automatic as school and classes were the common interest.

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I have sex like 3 weeks ago in this month almost a week and I didn't have my period what am I to do the condom did not break rip or tear and he did not pre cum what am I to do I had my period last month at the beginning of this month it was irregular then it was regular that was my first time having sex am I pregnant. Help I don't want any kids now I'm to young.

I can't say if you are pregnant or not but if its as you say you used a condom, it didn't break or leak, then there's little chance you are pregnant.

Most likely you missed your period because of stress. Stress over worry that you might be pregnant. We get tons of questions like this each month. Stress will stop a period more times than being pregnant and is something you will have to learn to deal with during the years of ministration.

Stress is an evil little devil. There is work related stress, and we will see an uptick in these letters around finals as stressing over exams and grades hit some girls. After the exams are over and the grades are in their periods return. The more stress you put yourself under the more the body reacts to it. If you stay stressed long enough you become depressed or can become depressed.

My suggestion is to get a home pregnancy test, follow the directions on the box as to how long after you've had sex as to when to test, when and how to take the test and see the results.

Normally I do not recommend keeping things from parents. In this one case I understand and if you are young enough to live at home I'm sure you do not want mom or dad to see the test kit.

Since most kits suggest taking the test with the first pee in the morning. What you might want to do is buy the kit the night before you want to test and put it in your purse. Take your purse or just the kit into the bathroom with you
when you go in for your morning shower. Take the test. After getting the results repackage the kit, put it back in your purse and get rid of the kit someplace away from home like a dumpster someplace.

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My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 1/2 years. And lately I want to meet new people. I went out the other night and called someone to meet me at a club which was a guy I had met on a dating app and this was my first time meeting him. And I wanted nothing to do with him...I wanted to meet him and see what I wanted but I broke my own heart.. All I wanted was my boyfriend and I didn't want to be around the guy anymore. But even still my head wants me to wander and live and meet new people but my heart is comfortable and only wants my boyfriend. My boyfriend doesn't even know I've been feeling like this and I don't have the heart to tell him because I truly love him so much but I'm very confused and can't help but to cry, and I never cry, but I'm just so confused. Someone please tell me anything...Thankyou!

There will be times in everyone's life when the grass on the other side of the fence looks greener than the grass on our side of the fence. Sometimes we sneak over to the other side of the fence only to find the grass is not any greener and may be just crabgrass. When and if we do something like this, we gain little and lose little if anything.

I know what I have written above does not truly answer your question, no one can only you can. You have only supplied part of a puzzle, how long you have been with your boyfriend. You have left out information such as how old you are. If he is your first true boyfriend? Do you live together and other important facts that would give a clearer picture of your situation. Even then it may not be possible to say for certain what you should do. Here again we will still only be looking at a snapshot of your life.

From the little information you have given what I believe is: You are young; he may or may not be your first boyfriend but you have not had too many before him. You love him but you are also afraid you may be missing out on something, someone. Frankly this is very normal and guys go through this as well. It is directly a part of the grass is greener theory I spoke of.

I know you're confused we all get that way when we reach this point in a relationship. The questions we ask ourselves are: Am I making the right choice? Is this the person I want to spend the rest of my life with? Will I be happy, and more questions. As I said this is all normal.

I do not think anyone can answer these question for you or tell you whether to stay or go. Something must have happened to make you think of leaving beyond the normal? You have not said what that might be beyond wanting to meet new people.

Is there some reason why you cannot meet new people, not just men, and remain in this relationship? If the answer is yes then maybe you should consider leaving. IF the answer is no then maybe all you are having is normal fears everyone has with some relationships that look as if they may be lifetime commitments.

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I have a 28 day cycle and I was wondering when will be the best time to avoid pregnancy, I will have protected sex but when are the days I can least get pregnant

On a 28 day cycle you are the most fertile from the 7th day of your cycle to the 21st day of your cycle. It is this span of time when 80% of women ovulate. The remaining 20% of women can ovulate at anytime during their cycle including during their period.

Most pharmacies sell a kit that will help you track when you ovulate. Once you know for certain at what point in your cycle you ovulate. You will better know when to refrain from having sex.

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Hi! I'm 13, do u think it would be Appropriate for me to get a rabbit vibrator like the one with the rabbit head for clit and the dildo moves around. Should I ask my mom for one or am I too young? Please help!!

As a moderator on this site I can look back and see what other questions you have written since you are a registered user; no I can't see who you are only the questions. As someone who is old enough to be your grandfather I am becoming concerned.

You didn't like my answer to the last question I answered and you probably will not like this one. I am writing this because I am concerned and wish to offer you some advice.

In the past 2 days you asked 4 questions about masturbations and one about sexy panties. You say you're 13 years old. These questions seem overly concerned with masturbation which is what concerns me.

While masturbation is good and considered healthy it should not be and all encompassing activity. If it is then there is a problem that requires professional help. At 13 sex and masturbation should not be of this high an interest to you either.

You have enter puberty that is apparent. With puberty comes sexual awareness. Like everything
sex needs to have moderation and is not an all encompassing activity. Of course I cannot say from your question if it is or is not. It is just a feeling I am getting and I am concerned for your welfare.

Because of this I am going to ask you to do something I know you don't want to do but you need to do it. If you don't you could very likely end up being very unhappy and then writing to us letters or questions I really don't want to read.

I am asking you to talk to mom about your masturbation and sexual awareness. For I believe you are a bit too aware and your masturbation may be for to encompassing for your own good.

Just for the record. I knew this question was your even before I looked at the record history for confirmation.

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Which do you think is weirder ? A close guy friend that cuts and files my nails and toes nails or a close guy cousin that cuts and files my finger and toe nails ? Or are they both weird ?

Weird like beauty is only in the eye of the beholder; so who am I to say what is weird or not.

As long as those who are involved are comfortable with what is happening then I can't see where it is weird.

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Has anyone here ever considered being a doctor and has at least attempted to get into med school or has gotten in ? If so, how was your timeline like in terms of your university/college years ? When did you take your mcat ? When and how did you prepare for the mcat ? Any tips of how to do well with the interviews? Any tips or experiences of getting accepted to med school? Should I take a gap year after graduating from my degree ? If so what should I do during that year ? Or should I apply during my junior year ? What should you do if you dong get in the first try ??

I'm not a doctor but I know about a half dozen who have become doctors; some in very unconventional ways.

Let me answer your last question first: If this is what you want never stop trying. I know for one of the people I know he didn't stop trying and while his grades were not good enough for an American med school he did make it into an Israeli med school in exchange for medical service in the Israeli military. That's how badly he wanted to be a doctor.

For another person I know medicine was a second career for him. His parents wanted him to be an engineer and sent him to college for that. At age 35 he went to med school. He was the oldest student and oldest resident in his residency program. He turned out to be a great doctor who went back home to an area under served by medical people.

The four others I met when they joined as volunteers in the County Fire service at the station I was at. They all felt that working as a volunteer at a Rescue Squad, which was this stations primary function would look good on their school application. If nothing else it would show they were not adverse to blood and guts, as this is what we see at vehicle accidents. We clean the patients up, dress wounds and care for the victims prehospital. The docs get a patient, usually stable, with dressed wounds in somewhat better condition then we find them.

Of the four two went on to become career firefighter/paramedics. They then took the bridge program to nursing. One is now in his residency program and the other will start courses in the fall to be a LPN.

The last scored high on her MCAT and was lucky enough to get selected off a standby slot for a very prestige's med school. She is now an attending in an ER.

Scoring as high as possible is the first step in getting into a med school. When to take them is up to you. Like any other test there are prep schools you can go to; then take the test as soon as you finish the prep course.

If you take a year off, which would be good as you can spend it prepping for the MCAT. Try to find work in the medical field as this show intent. Joining a fire service is not for everyone, career or volunteer. It is long hours of boredom punctuated by moments of sheer terror and high anxiety. Also nothing good happens after midnight with the possible exception of delivering a baby.

I have not interviewed in years so I can't help you there. I would bet there are services out there that can help you with the interview as well.

I would suggest since it sounds like you are in your undergraduate studies or heading off to college that you speak with a course counselor on how best to proceed if med school is your ultimate goal.

As far as getting their. If this is what you want; try, try and try again until you succeed.

Good luck

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Growing up as an only child I have always had my weird quirks. I'll admit I have a very weird laugh. Sure, I can act childish, silly, and be naive sometimes. And I can also have blonde moments here and there. But that doesn't mean that I don't know how to be mature in some situations. Deep down I know that I can be a serious, smart and wise person. I also love to help others and give advice of my past experiences. But lately I have been feeling lost as to how I should act. While others may find me amusing and interesting, others may find me too weird or unbearable. My mom keeps telling me that since I'm 18 I should smarten up and act lady like, and that I should change my laugh cause no guy would like me if I didn't. And lately I have been finding myself either embarrassed of what I did afterwards or that a person would find me annoying and make it clear of it. I feel that if I completely tried to change myself and be mature and serious, then I would lose my character. I would lose my identity that sets me apart from other people. I know that life is all about trial and error.. But still. I don't know what to do, what do you think ??

I like what Dragonflymagic wrote. I'm going to put what he said in another manner.

We are who we are and yes we can change something's about ourselves but we cannot totally reinvent ourselves. When we try to be something we are not it comes across as being false and people will see right through that.

Yes there are people who are or have been the class clown. As they age and mature the class clown in them matures as well and it is not a false change which people will see and find displeasing.

You're being embarrassed about things because you are overly sensitive about them since your mom made you aware of some things that she finds immature. It is funny but we parents can be strange at times. When you are in a hurry to grow up and do adult things we tell you to slow down and be a kid or teenager. Then by the stroke of a clock you become an adult and we expect you to suddenly act like one.

Fact is you're still a teenager and you may even still be in high school. If so you will still be treated like a child. Talk about your mixed signals this one really is the topper. Even as you enter college you can expect to be treated more child like than as an adult because of the parent child relationship education and educators have with students.

You are who you are, never change yourself to please others only to please yourself. You will change that I can promise you as you mature. What some people may not like about you now will disappear and some of things that people do like about you will also disappear as you mature and your goals in life become clearer.

You are who you are, please do not force yourself to change for you will be miserable if you do.

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Hi, before I ask I'm going to give a little information. I'm 17, always had VERY regular periods, they even come a few days early than what my tracker says they will. I last had sex on may 29th, unprotected, with pull out method. I had my next set period, which I've heard is common to have your next period then miss your second one. I am now what my tracker says three days late, but as I said before mine usually come before the tracker says it will. I've had some head aches, tiredness, and irritability I've noticed and I didn't notice the late period until my tracker notified me. Could I be pregnant?

It is possible as the pull out method, also known as the rhythm method, is the worst form of birth control there as it is based on when a woman's most fertile. Every male emits a small amount of sperm, usually referred to as precum during intercourse. This precum has enough sperm in it to impregnate the female. So even if the male does not ejaculate in the female, depending on when she is most fertile unprotected sex can make her pregnant.

Most women, about 80%, are most fertile during the 7th to 21st day of their cycle. This is when an egg is not likely to be ejected and available for fertilization.

Since you did have a period after you had sex you are more likely not pregnant. It is most likely you are stressed out over the unprotected sex and the fact that you could get pregnant. Stress is the biggest killer of a woman's period. Any and all types of stress will cause this to happen at any age during your menstruating years.

The best thing to do is to purchase a home test kit and follow the instructions in the test kit. I realize you probably do not want your mom to find the kit. So I suggest you buy it, put it in your purse or makeup kit and take one or both of them into the bathroom for your morning shower. Take the test, when you get the results repackage the kit and put it back in your purse or makeup kit then get rid of it in a dumpster away from home.

These kits give more false positives than false negatives. IF you do get a positive result don't freak out. Wait 10 days and test again. If you get the same result then you reason to freak out and need to see a doctor.

Good luck.

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Hi I am 13, Do you think it's appropriate from me to were G string thong? I have three pairs of just regular thongs. How do I ask my mom for a g string? Or am I at the Appropriate age to where one? Please help!

You do realize this is a very personal question you are asking. One that should be asked of your mother.

Of course being male I have no idea of how they feel to wear though I do understand from my wife they are very uncomfortable and she only wears one for certain occasions when her choice of clothing allows for little else.

At your age I see no reason why you would need to wear this type of thong but would understand if say for a special occasion your choice of clothing would reveal panty lines if you wore something else. This in my mind would be a dress up occasion such as a family reunion, wedding or other special occasion then my wife would still have the last say.

I will tell you what I told my nieces as I had to be their father as theirs walked out on them. Do not be in a hurry to grow up. Your teenage years are very special and they go by very quickly. You hopefully will have a long adult life to experience adult things. Until then take the time to be a teenager.

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