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My best Friend hates me without reason to!


Question Posted Wednesday July 30 2014, 12:27 pm

Hi I'm a 18 year old girl from Namibia and English is my second language. So basically my best friend just started gossiping about me and making friends with my enemy's. I've confronted her a few times but basically she doesn't "care about our friendship" any more. How can she be so cruel? I've never done anything to her and even after all of this I'm still nice to her and a good friend towards her. What should I do? We have most classes together, mutual friends and we carpool so avoiding her is out of the question.

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adviceman49 answered Thursday July 31 2014, 5:14 am:
This sounds like a typical case of perception. While you may not have done anything to deserve her meanness, for other reasons, she perceives that you do. Her perception that you do could be she miss understood something you said or someone said to her that you said something about her she doesn't like. When we perceive something regardless of its truth or how real it may be. It is real to us because we perceive it to be therefore it is.

As you are finding out this is the hardest type of problem to correct for you have no idea of what it is she may be upset about. You said you tried to confront her about this. Confronting someone means you had a confrontation or argument; maybe a poor choice of words on your part. But if you did have an argument with her over this then there was no way she was going to answer the question of what she is upset or mad at you.

What I suggest is trying to have a conversation with her. You could take the high rode in this conversation by starting with; "Suzie I honestly have no idea what I may have said or done to ruin or friendship but we have bee friend for a long time and I do value are friendship. So I will apologize for whatever I may have said done and ask for your forgiveness. IF you will tell me what it is that upset you so I will try to explain."

This is a non argumentative position where you are the bigger person apologizing even though you are unsure of what you may have done. It should show her that you value your friendship more than you value being right or wrong in this situation. You are both adults now and this is the way adults would handle this situation or should.

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pinkrose1 answered Wednesday July 30 2014, 6:07 pm:
She wasn't a true friend. I think you should ignore her and show her that you are not affected by what she's doing. People love to see that they're getting to you so just keep a smile on your face and don't let her take your happiness away.

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Boogeylady answered Wednesday July 30 2014, 3:17 pm:
Oh no! Thats so uncool and unfair!!
Pretend it doesnt bother you.She thinks that she can get away with hurting you,don't let it show that she has.Eventually,it will make her even more upset and prayfully she will stop her ways!
Be blessed and hope it all turns out for you!

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