First off, feel free to do the research on your own - Kwanza is not a religious holiday.

Christmas has been turned into the largest commercial holiday ever. Just to show you how bad it is: I went to a mall about twenty minutes from my house to return a jewlery item. This was a week after my birthday, so the second week of October. There were Christmas decorations already up. I wanted to puke!

Or just watch for this: Halloween decerations were put up everywhere, people trying to sell candy and costumes and anything else. Well...what about thanksgiving? You will see little to no mention/decoration for it. Why? Because while it is a holiday, the commercialism is low: nobody really needs to buy that much for thanksgiving. Just last year, Christmas decorations and 'Christmas Sales' where going up a week before Thanksgiving.

So I think that is why people celebrate Chirstmas - the media and market have hand-in-hand made Christmas about Santa Claus, presents, and lots of decoration.

They don't have to celebrate Chirstmas, they just go along with the tradition of buying and giving presents. Almost all symbols for Christmas have been reduced to a tree, a snowman, a candycane, snowflake, Santa Claus, etc. Nobody goes out to get a manger or anything Jesus related. Oh well... Hope that helped. Honestly, the worst part is hearing about Christmas two months before its here. I go to the Dominican Republic to visit family, and while more than 95% is Catholic and celebrates Chirstmas, they do have Jesus related symbols and decorations. It's a secular/media/market thing in the US.

I'm gonna emphasize on what BrOokiEBaBeyyy said last: be really good friends. You gotta get to know him, so being really good friends would get you there. It's not weird to ask random stuff like: whats for lunch, whats the homework, what did you think of that test, etc. If you can find out something he's into, a hobby he has; or even somebody he's friends with that you are too, talk about those things. Hope that helped and good luck.

Haha. Great question. Why? Because nobody is asking whats the legal age to have sex. Everybody knows that. Eighteen.

Now it becomes a personal opinion.

Well of course, we all know that young teenage girls fully comprehend what true love is and are fully capable of maturely expressing themselves. They might really really really really really like the guy, but what they don't like is the responsibilities and/or consequences that come with sex. People push that aside. "Oh that won't happen to you," is what the media says to us.

If they are not ready and willing to deal with raising children and take full responsibility for everything, then they are too young. I'll call it at 18.

Why not wait until marriage? You don't even have to look at it as a religious thing - do you wanna spend your life with someone who's been around with other people?

Really, those stories about 12 year olds are not only disgusting, they are pathetic. Do you know how the rest of the world sees teenagers, like all the grown ups? The same way we see 4th graders. When we were in 3rd and 4th, it didn't seem that young at all, see what I mean?

Sorry for rambling on... For a more direct answer, as I'm sure people have said, it is different for everyone. Some people really could handle it at 14, while others could break and fall apart at 16. I say 18 is legal, so why not? Hope that helped.

You answered your own question: he's twice your age. Let it go. The reality is that nothing will ever happen between you two. Don't dwell on it, because it will just make you feel worse. Trust me, this is one of those things you will look back on in a few years and get a good laught outta it. I know I did. Hope that helped and good luck.

Dude relax. Do yourself a favor and read through questions on this website. How many GIRLS are having the same problem? A bunch! Not saying everyone does, but a lot more peopele than you think have that going on. It seems like while the guy is thinking one thing, the girl is thinking the same thing and then they both don't say anything. What would make things easier for them? If the other person just admitted to liking them or something, right? I think you should go for it and be honest and open; just flat out tell her that you like her as more than just a friend. If shes your best friend I'm sure you can come up with the courage to say that to her. Really, I don't see why you couldn't do that, it's not like you won't be friends anymore if you do tell her - she won't hate you for it. Plus you owe it to her, right? Don't be shy or afraid of rejection. You aren't hurting yourself or anyone else by telling her or trying to work things out. Put aside and fears or squash them with the idea of how awesome things could turn out. Trust me with that. Just be patient and relax. Go for it and good luck.

So what if your not in classes with your boyfriend? It's not that big of a deal, considering he's still in the same school. Still in the same region. Yes, he's still in the same state. I consider you very lucky. Let the other guy go. If you have/had a crush on him, let your boyfriend know that. Sounds weird, but you owe it to him to be honest. Wouldn't you want him to tell you he had a crush on some other girl if it was true? So you liked being the only girl. As great as that might have been, don't dwell on it. You aren't any less better for not being the only girl. Give D a fair chance. If your happy for him, then let him do what makes him happy. So I'm sure you'll still spend time with your boyfriend, I'll leave it up to you on whether or not to tell him about the other guy. And try to forget about D, it sounds like he's going for somebody else, and your taken anyways. Hope that helped and good luck.

I don't think so. Whoever made up that rule that girls should only go for guys older than them is really really lame. I say go for it. There really is nothing wrong with that. If people say anything then just ignore them, because who cares.

Wow. That last sentence changed my point of view in a split second. Forgive him - because we should all be forgiving people to make this world a better place than it is now. Stay with him? Absolutely not. You are fourteen years old - you don't need any of this. Stick to more important things, like your grades, family, close friends, etc. Really, if you keep going on it's bound to get worse and really leave you with the bad impression that all relationships will turn out like that. He did go too far, drop him. Forget about him and move on. It's only been a month, and he is much older than you, so it's nothing too serious, no offense. You deserve better. Hope that helped and good luck.

Forget about it. I don't know about you, but whether it was meant or not, I would not want to be liked for my looks. I wouldn't take it too hard, and I suggest you definately talk to him. Let him know you didn't like that. Ask him why. Vent a little bit. It's not the end of the world. You are both mature adults, and I'm sure you can talk it out. It's been two years - do you think he's been with you for the way you look, or for who you are on the inside. No beauty on the outside can ever replace inner beauty. Hope that helped and good luck.

Just on what you said towards the end: How can they not take you back after an abortion? I'm not sure which church you go to, but it would seem that most, if not all church (I'm guessing its Christian, sorry if its not), would preach some sort of forgiveness. There's a big problem if they don't accept you because of that. God never hates the person, he just doesn't like what they do.

I'm strongly against abortion, but I won't give you that argument. I will caution you that doing something to yourself could permanently damage you. I've heard a lot of stories where they tried to use hangers or other methods - they got rid of the baby, but with that the chance to ever have one again. Please think things through carefully, I'm aware its not easy.

That whole part about moving away to work and go to school... Not too sure about that. For people under 18 (I'm assuming he is), it's very difficult to just pick up and leave somewhere and start things up all over again.

I'll save the abortion advice for other people, I'm offering my thoughts on those other things. The church should accept you back, doing something to yourself could lead to serious complications, and the realism of picking up and leaving just doesn't hold solid when people will be looking for you. Think things through. Honestly, I don't see why more people don't consider adoption before they consider abortion.

There's more than a million couples on the waiting list for an adopted baby - you can't say its unwanted. There are more agencies available to help raising children financially and in other areas, than there are agencies to help women with the aftershocks of abortion. Anyways I'll leave it up to you. Hope that helped and good luck. Keep strong.

Let me say something that goes for you and well...every other girl reading this:
it doesn't occur to every guy to call unless you say something to us about it.

Yes, I'm sure there are guys who really do that on their own, but we don't think about things as deep and often as girls do, trust me. When I thought about my girlfriend a lot and was missing her, at first it never occured to me that I should call. Was I a bad boyfriend cause of that? Judge me if you want, but 3 years later I think I learned.

Talk to him about it. If things are boring, then whats the fun? Talk to him about that too, let him know you don't like the silences. Do you have awkward silences with your good friends? Think about that one, along with whether or not you should continue things. Hope that helped and good luck.

Ehhh, I'll leave it up to you to decide, but I would get out if I was you. He's gotten mad at you before over something like that? He's going to get mad at you again if you try to talk to him about something?

That's just a preview of just how things could really be if you keep going with it.

Talk to him about it, and yes you can do it. So what if he gets mad at you. If he really cared about you, and seriously did want to be your friend, then he would make some effort to keep things from falling apart...not get mad at you for trying to save things.

Don't worry about losing him. If he does get mad at you over something like this, then is he really worth it? Please, if you take anything out of this answer, just realize that you have to be close best friends for relationships to work out (for the most part). If there's no friendship part between you and him, then he's not boyfriend, just a boy. Think things through and talk talk talk talk talk to him, you can do it. Is he really being a friend to you? Hope that helped and good luck.

Forget everything everyone just said.

Don't buy her something.

Make it yourself.

Sounds stupid and cheezy, but even a diamond necklace can't come close to value if you make her something yourself. It doesn't have to be big! Be creative, random, and make something that reflects a part of you.

Inside jokes? Bands you both like? Get a white t-shirt and write them all out on it. Give it to her so she can wear it to sleep. Can't draw to save your life? Take a big piece of paper and paint, color, and draw your heart out. Do you like writing poetry? Doesn't even matter - write her a poem. It can be however you want, rhyme or not, mushy or cheezy.

Incase your worrying about seeming like you don't care, then do those things. Anyone can go out to buy a designer purse or send flowers - but it's the real friend that puts together pictures and poems and all that other stuff - thats what they keep and remember the most. Hope that helped and good luck.

I have to correct BL4CKB3L7_F41RY:
when something is organic, that means it contains carbon. Inorganic means it does not contain carbon. It does not mean (in the science department) without organs, therefore not living. Just thought I'd clear that up - yes water is inorganic, and not living. Living things have cells, or maybe just one cell. Water does not have a cell, therefore it is not a living thing.

Tell him. The minds of most guys is not as complicated as 99% of girls think. So just tell him. Like you said, you have nothing to lose. Just because you like him, doesn't mean you guys cant be friends or that you HAVE to date.

I'm suing Disney for making every girl think that they can have a fairytale relationship and live happily ever after in 30 min.

Nobody here can tell you whether or not you made the right choice, and I'm telling you that right now. I'm going to leave that one up to you.

Despite what you may think, I do understand your situation. In some ways I can relate. It is truly great and long lasting to love somebody for who they are and not what they look like or what you physically do with them.

Yes it is difficult. So your relationship was built on trust, on commitment, honesty, responsibility, sincerity...aren't those things supposed to be what relationships are built on? As for him not putting in the effort, maybe you can cut him some slack. While you do live only 40 minutes away, it's not as bad as a two hour state-boundry-crossing distance, and I can vouch for that one.

Go back and talk to him, like really talk to him. Tell him how you feel and ask him how he feels. You should not break things off just because you havn't met yet or you don't feel that he's putting in the effort. Ultimately, most of those things are not in your control or his control, meeting up I mean. Good things come to those who wait. I would ask you to reconsider things with him. I'm not saying it was a bad choice, but if you really connected so well with each other and got to know each other and love each other for it, then doesn't that say more than just meeting up at a party and going inbetween the sheets? So I say think things through and talk it out.

Just because you can spend time with the other guy doesn't make him a better guy. Not saying he isn't better, but I've seen cases where a lot of people would rather have a good strong long distance relationship instead of a crummy lousy "see each other all the time" relationship. Think things through and sort out your feelings, and definately talk to him. Hope that helped and good luck.

Depends on the situation.

Depends on your friend actually. There's a big difference between helping a friend who is having a really bad week and one who is considering suicide.

Yes both are important and should be helped, but certain situations change things a bit. If it is serious, then help your friend. If not and it could wait a bit, study for the test. If this is a test that will basically make or break the passing grade, then please follow up on studying.

This is one of those decision/responsibility things people face in their lives. It is a challenge, a great one. We are confronted with them constantly. I would say study, but I'll leave it to you to decide what situation you are in and your friend is in. Hope that helped and good luck.

Are you friends with him? Do you know what he's like? Does he know what you are like?

If you answered no to any of those questions, then why would you consider putting yourself into a relationship with him? To learn more about him? I thought thats what friendship was for.

Be his friend and get to know him first. I'm only saying those things because it seems that too many people 'like' somebody first then try to get to know each other as they try to get a relationship going out of it. Sorry if you really do know him.

Keep it safe and learn everything you can about him and about any other guys that you might come across in the future - it will save you a lot more hurt in the long run, trust me. Just be his friend, even if you do like him. Things might show up that would surprise you and suddenly lose interest in him. You don't have to confront him and say "I want to be your friend", just make it happen. Easier said than done, I know...but I'll leave you up to that one.

If you've done everything you can to clue him in that you like him, it's obviously not working. Any idea how flattered we are when a girl tells us they like us? Makes most guys feel great. So why try to hint it off and play the guessing game. Our thoughts: does she like me? is she serious? is she just flirting? what does she want me to do? am i making this all up in my head? etc. So really, be straightfoward and really, just flat out saying it in conversation is not a bad idea at all.

If you can be open with him before things start and vice versa, then that shows a lot. So talk to him. Be friends with him. Get to know him. Let him know about yourself. Let him know that you like him. There are no short cuts, just be a really good friend. Hope that helped and good luck.

The issue that hit me wasn't the question of his sexual preference, but your respect of his privacy.

Anyways, I think you should tell him exactly what you just wrote, that you looked around, saw his messages, saw that, and want to know what's up.

Be honest and straightfoward about this situation, as I'm sure you would want him to be. I don't think he's necesarily gay, but could be "bi-curious". The media won't say it, but they are basically implying that it's 100% natural and therefore OK to act on your sexual imuplses at any age with any person. Probably the worst message out there after that one guy's idea of trying to create some kind of 'perfect race'.

Anyways, talk to him. Tell him exactly how you feel. Tell him exactly how you found all this and what your concerns are. To me, if he's keeping that message or other things like that from you, it could be for a reason. But then again, what's your reason for looking through his messages? I'll leave it up to you. Talk to him. Hope that helped and good luck.

Click get info on the song, and the tab that says Artwork should be on top - click that. Add what you'd like if it is blank, if not then press delete then add it in. Should work. Hope that helped.

Feel free to ask me any questions or for an alternate way of contacting me through my inbox.

I really like giving advice, so thats why I have a column here. I've been inactive for a long time, but I'm back and will do my best to catch up. Advicenators is a great site and it is what we make it. Having my own advice column helped me learn a lot of new things, even about myself, while giving me the chance to help others along the way. Thanks.

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