I feel your pain. My friends always were more attractive to boys than I was, and so was my mother. Yes, my mother was a model, and I had boys come over and pretend to like me, just so they could hang out with my mother and brag about it to their friends.

As I got older, guys would be friendly to me, and then ask me if I thought my mother would go out with them.

It hurt. It sucked. It made me feel like the turd in the punchbowl, to use a local phrase.

It took me a long time to grow out of that. My mother is now an extremely sad person because her whole life was wrapped up in her looks. Now she feels like she can't go out and live life until she has a face-lift and a million different tucks. She won't even go out to check the mail unless she has on a full face of makeup. She's a prisoner in her own mind because her beauty was her identity, and now that she's getting old, she doesn't know what to do.

I met my husband on the internet. We chatted for weeks and knew we were in love before we had even seen a picture of each other. "Appearances" get in the way of life. We got to know each other without "looks" getting in the way or prejudicing our thinking.

When we met, one of the first things he did was make me take my makeup off. (Looking back, I realize I was trying to compete with mother by adopting her habit of wearing lots of makeup. I guess I thought that if she got a lot of attention, I would to. It never worked, but I guess I didn't know what else to do, so I kept on wearing full makeup.)

We bought makeup remover and he took my makeup off of me for the first time. I cried and cried, I was so afraid. But he was happy, and told me how cute I was without makeup, and that I should never hide behind makeup like that again. And I never did.

Later in our marriage, he told me that if I hadn't let him remove that makeup, he wouldn't have married me. He loves me the way I am, for who I am.

Now I have a wonderful husband who loves me, and mother is single and miserable because she relied on her "looks" to live her life, and I gave up on that. Beautiful people can be some of the most shallow, and when their looks are gone, there is nothing left and they don't even understand what happened. I feel sorry for them.

Of course I don't mean that every beautiful person is shallow or like my mother, I'm just going by my own experience. There are all kinds of people.

I guess this was just a long way of saying that looks really aren't important in the long run. Not for the important things like finding a man who loves you and will stay with you even when you get older and don't look the same anymore.

Think of is this way... If a guy is shallow and only wants to date HOT chicks, what happens when the chick isn't Hot anymore? He dumps her for a Hotter chick. Who needs that? The REAL thing will love you just the way you are! Hot chicks actually have a much harder time finding a good guy who likes them for them, not just for their looks.

I understand that it's fun to get attention, but I promise it doesn't matter in the long run. When that one special guy comes along who will love you forever, who cares how many shallow guys are hanging all over other girls, right? :-)

Yes it's unhealthy and will actually cause you to GAIN weight in the long run!

Our bodies were created with "lean times" in mind. So when the body doesn't get enough food, it thinks; "Oh No! Famine!" And slows down your metabolism so that it doesn't burn your fat reserves as quickly, and stores every scrap it can as more fat. When you start eating normally again (which you will either do, or die), it might stop storing or it might store like mad because it's scared the famine might come back and it's trying to keep enough fat to keep you alive for the next time. Either way, you will usually keep extra fat, "just in case".

Some people do this over and over and get bigger and bigger. It's called Yo-Yo dieting.

Our bodies were meant to eat! 3 meals a day at least, or many smaller meals are even better to keep your metabolism going.

You don't want to "lose weight" so much as you want to "lose fat" and tone up. Dieting MAKES fat in the long run! Lose fat by exercise, and lots of it! Stay active and exercise every day, go for walks, go swimming, play sports or tennis or badminton or Frisbee or volleyball, etc. You can do specific exercises like crunches or use exercise machines too, but stay active. Also drink lots and lots of water, at least 6-8 glasses a day, and stay away from soda, even diet soda.

Do NOT rely on the scales to tell you how you are doing. Rely on how your clothes are fitting, or if you need something more specific, use a flexible measuring tape and measure yourself and keep a record.

The reason for this is that muscle weighs more than fat, and as you exercise, you will create muscle. Which is a GOOD thing because muscle burns fat just sleeping! BUT it can be frustrating to exercise like crazy for 2 weeks and gain 2 pounds. So make sure you go by your actual body tone and shape, NOT by weight. The more muscle you add, the more fat you will burn, but these things take time.

Before this site was transferred over to the new server, SpaceFem (the creator of this site) disabled HTML on columns due to security problems.

HTML is still disabled while we look into those security problems. We do plan on adding it back, when the bugs are worked out.

When HTML is available again, it will be announced in the Site News, which you can read by going to the front page (Home) on this site and scrolling down, or by click the "Site News" link on the left-hand menu, under "Miscellaneous". :-)

Unless you are two-and-a-half feet tall, 106 pounds is not "big".

You don't want to lose weight, you want to tone what you have! (swap fat for muscle)

Do NOT stop eating normally. If you do, your body will think it's in a famine and will lower your metabolism and you may actually gain weight because your body is panicking and storing everything it can.

Exercise, exercise, exercise. Go for walks, go swimming, play sports or tennis or badminton or frisbee or volleyball, etc. You can do crunches too, but stay active.

Drink lots and lots of water, and cut down on soda. If you do these things, you won't have to worry about what you eat as long as it's not totally crazy like candy bars 20 times a day. ;-)

Sometimes attractive girls intimidate guys. Sometimes they think things like, "She's so hot, she would never date me." Or, "She's so good looking, she has to be a stuck up brat." They assume things, just based on how you look. I don't know if that's what's happening with your situation, but it's possible.

Try being as friendly as possible, without being air-headed friendly. I don't mean slutty like flirting or whatever, I mean just smiling at people... Saying "Hi, how's it going" to people. Not just guys you want to date, but people in general. Then guys may see you as a down-to-earth girl who is accessible, and they might be more likely to strike up a conversation with you.

While I don't have an answer to your question, I did want to address your comment about not having a category for books, reading, literature, etc...

Very soon, there will be more categories. A lot more. And we will be sure to have a category for this topic also.

Just thought you would want to know. :-)

Unless it's giving you the "runs", you probably aren't eating too much fruit. ;-)

Fruit is a whole, natural food, and very good for you! Natural sugars are VERY different from the processed white sugar you buy in a bag at the supermarket. Go ahead, eat lots of fruit!

But it probably shouldn't be the only thing you eat, of course... Vegetables, beans, rices & grains, and whole breads & pastas are all great ingredients for a healthy diet.

Don't concentrate so much on worrying about what's "fattening". Counting calories and fat grams sucks, and you don't need to do it anyway. Just concentrate on whole, unprocessed foods, and lots of water and exercise. You can't go wrong. :-)

No, don't be mad. Having a girlfriend doesn't mean he should be rude to other girls, or that other girls cease to exist as humans. Talking in a public conversation is not cheating.

Being mad at him will make him feel you are being unreasonable, and will eventually drive him away. Jealousy is an evil beast that will try to drive a wedge into any relationship, and it's up to you to put a leash on that puppy.

I've seen women who have absolutely no reason to believe their husband is cheating, but they are so insecure about themselves that they constantly rag on their men wanting to know where they were every single second, imagining the worst in every situation, and asking if they're seeing another woman, etc...

Imagine the man in this situation. Imagine not doing anything wrong, but the person you love doesn't trust you no matter what you do. Imagine being constantly accused of something you didn't do.

In the situations I have seen, eventually the man either leaves the woman, or he figures if he's in trouble for cheating, he might as well go ahead and do it.

I'm not saying you are like those women, I'm just pointing out where jealousy leads in the long run. No good ever comes from it. Be secure in yourself. Ultimately, you are responsible for your actions and he is responsible for his, so don't worry so much about his. Worrying won't stop something from happening, and can even MAKE it happen, as mentioned above.

And if he ever does REALLY cheat on you? (which I consider being physically intimate with someone else, like kissing, etc) Be glad to find out now that he's a cheater, so you can dump his sorry butt before you waste any more time on him! ;-)

Yes, you can use margarine... But you may want to go back to butter when you can. Butter is a natural product and margarine contains "trans fats" which many people believe to be worse for you than the natural fats found in butter.

Off topic: A good rule of "what's good for you" is to look at a product and see if it's man made, or heavily processed, or has natural ingredients. In general, the more natural and unprocessed something is, the better it is for you. :-)

Yup, your body thought it was starving, that's why diets frequently end up making people fatter in the long run.

Our bodies were created with "lean times" in mind. So when the body doesn't get enough food, it thinks; Oh No! Famine! And slows down your metabolism so that it doesn't burn your fat reserves as quicky, and stores every scrap it can as more fat. When you start eating normally again, it might stop storing, but lots of times you now have that extra fat, "just in case".

Some people do this over and over and get bigger and bigger. It's called Yo-Yo dieting.

So take time to eat! Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner if you can, but many small meals through the day are better than fewer large meals.

You absolutely MUST crate train him!

No matter how old a dog is, if they mess in the house, they need to be crate trained. Though at your dog's young age, you also need to realize that they don't really gain control of their "potty" muscles until they are about 6 months old, so they can't really "hold" it at that age. You need to be taking him outside whenever he wakes up from sleep or a nap, right after he eats, and after he gets exercise.

At any rate, you need to start crate training right now.

This is a great site which just happens to be by a guy who trains German Shepherds, but this info works on ALL dogs! Even Chihuahuas. ;-)

http://www.leerburg.com/housebrk.htm

Here's another good section of that site:

http://www.leerburg.com/articles.htm

And a great Q & A on housebreaking:

http://www.leerburg.com/qahouse.htm

Get your dog a crate and read the first and last link especially.

If, after you read these, you have any specific questions, feel free to ask.

Actually we are on the new server right now. The site was down for a while on Sunday while the changeover was being made, but now this is the new server. The domain is the same, and the addresses of everybody's advice column and stuff should all be the same.

You shouldn't really notice any difference, though there may be a few bugs to work out from the move. Databases can be tricky things. :-)

If something is being weird, it would be great if you could report it to DangerNerd@gmail.com

There are improvements being planned for the future, though right now, just making sure everything is behaving normally is top priority. ;-)

You might try a shampoo labeled as a "Clarifying" shampoo. We've personally had luck with that. We tried it in the Suave brand.

Also, I agree to wash more frequently and avoid using a conditioner. Or if your hair is long and has dry ends, only condition the ends.

Between washings, try not to scratch or rub your scalp with your fingers, that will make it oily faster.

Nachos are very easy and most everybody loves them.

You could have one platter of Nachos with seasoned ground beef as the base, and one platter of Nachos with refried beans as the base (for vegetarians, or those watching their fat intake). You're pretty safe putting cheese on top of both, but you might want to put stuff like chopped tomatoes, onions, and sour cream on the side, because not everybody likes those.

Other favorites are Tacos, Bean Burritos, and Quesadillas.

If you need more specific ingredients and instructions, let me know.

There's a very easy way to find out:

Tell him you have decided to save yourself for marriage. Or if you're not a virgin, that you decided to not have sex anymore until your wedding night.

He may act like he's cool with it at first, but you should know within a few weeks if he really means it.

If he's still with you after a month or so, and isn't trying to pressure you to change your mind, you may have a keeper. ;-)

Want to know how to keep your questions from being rated down? Click Here!

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I'm DangerNerd's wife. We met on an internet personals site back in December, 1996. He flew across country to meet me for the first time in late February of 1997, and we were married a few weeks later. We've been together 9 years now. :-)

If you want to mail me, my email is DangerWench@gmail.com

Yes, I do sometimes copy and paste my own answers to answer different people's similar questions. I still personalize/edit them when necessary... but for instance, my advice about diet and exercise it going to be pretty much the same every time, and that's a very common subject for questions here... so there's no point in typing the same thing over and over and over again. ;-)

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Yes, hubby and I were both virgins on our wedding night, at the age of 26. Yes, we are both Christians, but we greatly dislike what "Christianity" (or "Churchianity") has come to represent in many people's minds these days... Hypocrisy, greed, pride... Things which the Bible says we are NOT supposed to do. We are supposed to be a good example, not a bad one. :-(

If you have a Christian acquaintance who is hitting you over the head with "Jesus will bring you peace and joy and happiness" tell them to listen to this:

http://www.dangernerd.com/kirkcameron.mp3

(It's 9 megs, so it may take a bit to download)

If you can't download MP3's for some reason, you can download the zip file.

http://www.dangernerd.com/kirkcameron.zip

If they are an actual preacher/pastor, this one is geared more towards them:

http://www.dangernerd.com/raycomfort.zip

Send them the link, or burn it to CD and give it to them, whatever it takes.

If they really listen to that, they will see how the Bible itself says the way they are annoying you is wrong. :-)

If you are a Christian, please listen to it, even if you aren't beating people over the head with Jesus. I promise you, it will give you a new perspective. It's totally awesome.

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I'm also fascinated by prophesy, and I do think we are living in an age where we are seeing many things come true that were prophesied 1,000's of years ago.

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There has been a lot of hubbub lately regarding my views on the differences between Catholicism and *exclusively* Bible-Based Christianity... Mostly due to my not making myself clear. I did have a big long explanation here, but this time I will opt for the KISS method (Keep It Simple, Stupid). Yes, the following is the simplified version. ;-)

The Catholic Church believes that the Bible is not the only authority. Their teachings include such documentation as Catechisms, and Papal Encyclicals (defined as "authoritative teaching instruments from the Vicar of Christ" (the Pope)) which have been written and added to throughout the years of the history of the Catholic Church.

Because of this, the Catholic Church has many teachings, beliefs, and traditions that are different from a Christian who believes the Holy Bible is the exclusive authority of Christianity.

A Catholic Christian believes in the Catholic doctrines, teachings, and traditions which include, but are *not exclusive to* the Holy Bible.

Most non-Catholic Christians believe the Holy Bible is the *exclusive* authority of Christianity... No other documents.

Much argument comes from this, as quite a few non-Catholic Christians (myself included) believe many of the man-made Catholic doctrines to be un-Christian and not corresponding with Biblical scripture. And obviously, Catholics disagree.

For more information about the differences between Catholicism and *exclusively* Bible-Based Christianity, see the following link:

Roman Catholic Doctrine vs. The Holy Bible

And a final note about that link... That e-book isn't written by Jack Chick, I have a lot of problems with Mr. Chick. Some of his tracts are great, and some of them are way "out there" if you know what I mean. I do not support Jack Chick. This e-book is written by Rick Jones, who was a Catholic for many years, not Chick.

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"This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away. For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts, Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth." (2Timothy 3:1 - 7)

"And there shall be signs in the sun, and in the moon, and in the stars; and upon the earth distress of nations, with perplexity; the sea and the waves roaring..." (Luke 21:25)

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Yahweh is my God, Yeshua is my Savior.

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