sizzlinmandolin's advice column | Page 104

home view feedback ask questions add as friend advicenators

Gender:

Female

Location:

USA

Age:

28

Member Since:

October 4, 2005

Answers:

2093

Last Update:

February 22, 2015

Visitors:

129482

Favorite Columnists

advicenator_admin

Main Categories:

about

I sometimes take long breaks from the site. I'm more than happy to answer anyone's questions, but just make sure they're not too time sensitive. :)

Facts about me:
*happy
*employed
*married
*large extended family
*bisexual
*advanced college degree
*no kids (yet)

advice

well i just started dating this kid, let's call him john, and we are always hanging all over eachother. we just blend well physically, and are always caught kissing and hugging. i love being around him because i feel loved, but when we talk on the phone or it is just me and him we have hardly any conversation going. alot of the time we are just quiet when we are alone. how bad is this? is it a big deal or just something that will fade? should i reconsider our relationship?

Just as long as you are both happy with the relationship I don't see any problem with this. There's a song, it's a country song but it's called "When You Say Nothing At All" and it describes your situation as a good thing. I don't know if you've heard it before but here are the lyrics.
http://www.lyricsmansion.com/result.php?number=462
Talking isn't always necessary. It sounds like you care for each other a lot.

I'm 13/f and i have strech markd on my thieghs and weigh 113 lbs so am i fat and if so what are some tips to get trim.

Wow, you're not fat at all. Stretch marks in no way mean that you're fat. They could mean that you grew really fast or that you actually lost some weight. I have them on my legs and I'm pretty skinny too. Some people just have them. If you're self conscious about them or don't like how they look I'm sure you can get a special lotion or something to make them "disappear".

okay so i tried to uninstall internet explorer from control panel but i cant find it so how can i unstall it because i want to install it again because its messing up

I think that if you're having problems with internet explorer that you should download Mozilla Firefox. I don't know if you can uninstall internet explorer through the control panel, and I'm not computer savvy enough to tell you how to get rid of it. Mozilla Firefox is just like internet explorer and I've heard it works much better. I haven't had the chance to really test it out for myself, but everything I have heard about it is really good. Just type "Mozilla Firefox" into a search engine and there's a free download. Good luck!

Ok im 13 and I have had sex twice....I know that I want to tell my mom....but i know that if I tell my mom she will tell my dad and I KNOW that he will flip out....But I had ses with a guy that i have been goin out with for 2 years already and we are still going out...so I dont think it is that big of deal...but how do I tell my parents without them like killing me??? Also do you think I am considered a slut or something because a couple people at my school do...
thanks

I think it's always better when they hear it from you than from someone else, which they will if you don't tell them. You are not a slut at all. You've been going out with the same guy for two years. Anyways, this kind of stuff is always really hard to do. You do need to tell your parents especially since other people know about it. Your parents may even surprise you by being completely understanding. If they know you've been going out with the same guy for two whole years they may even kind of expect it. What you should do is tell your mom about it and say nothing to your dad. Tell your mom that you are afraid of him getting really angry and that you don't want her to tell him. Tell her that your relationship is going really well and that you are worried that telling them that you had sex could mess that up. Really pour your feelings out to her and she may not even tell your dad at all. One last thing, you need to be really careful. Sex is something that shouldn't be taken lightly and it can have life ruining consequences. I'm sure that you're being careful, but make sure that you know ALL of the risks you are taking. I hope your parents take it well and good luck with your relationship!

alright guys. well. tonight i think i'm going to the movies with my boyfriend. and he wants to see into the blue. you know the one with jessica alba and the REALLY hott guy with the nice 6pack abs? alright. well the problem is that if we go i know the whole time he'll be like in his head thinking goddamn she's so fine blahblah about jessica alba. but i'm not like that when i'm with him. and i bet that later on he'd tell me how hot she looked in different sceens and stuff. so i'm like... well i'll see if i can go to that one even though i really don't want to.

i really don't think thats a "couples" movie.
thats like. horny guy alone. do you agree?

and if like you were me (if you're a girl) would it bother you that like he'll talk about that stuff after the movie, when he know's that you wont talk about how hot the guys is?

please help as soon as you can.

Guys think a lot differently than girls. What you call a "couples movie" is a "chick flick" to him. He wants to see this movie and he wants to share it with you. The fact that he invited you to it instead of to more of a couples movie is because he probably feels kind of guilty looking at another girl (the lovely Miss Alba) without you right there beside him. He wants to share his excitement with you and spend time with you. Guys will always be looking at other girls and girls will always be looking at other guys, but girls tend to talk about it less. I used to find it to be extremely annoying when my boyfriend talked about how hot other girls were. It made me feel bad about myself and made me feel like our relationship wasn't as strong as it really was. I even got kind of jealous sometimes. Truth is, because he's sharing that with you, it seems like you two have a really great connection. You trust each other and want to have a really healthy relationship. I've learned that when my bf starts talking about girls to turn it into a kind of joke by talking about them too. I feel totally bisexual when I do it, but it's actually really fun. I basically pretend I'm a guy and think of things that a guy would say. He'll be so surprised and he'll like it a lot more than he probably should. It's a way to shift his attention more from her back to you. It always works really well for me, but if you feel uncomfortable doing it or something just know that when he talks about it he is really just doing what he thinks he should...sharing everything with you. If it bothers you a lot talk to him about it. Tell him how it makes you feel and he will at least try to stop doing it. Don't talk about how hot the guy was as a type of comeback though, unless it's a complete joke and he knows it. You don't want to make him feel the way that he's making you feel on purpose. Guys can be a tad bit more sensitive to it since girls don't do that as often and you could really hurt his feelings. Anyways, it sounds like a movie that you want to see and I hope that you have a great time. Good luck!

hi my name is jake, i'm 16 sophmore in high school. over the years i watch my friends go through relationships and stuff, n i never had one. n its not bc i'm antisocial or anything; i think i'm pretty popular, lots of friends and stuff. just thinks never seem to happen or get to the point of relationships; is this weird? should i try to put more an effort to startin a relationship? or should i just kinda be passive about it like i've been. i do want to find someone, to have fun with.

WOW! That sounds exactly like me! I didn't have a high school relationship and I got my first bf at age 18. He's amazing and I am so happy with my life right now. What you should do is nothing! Don't try to change yourself at all. Opportunities will come, especially in college. Hopefully you won't have to wait that long, but even if it ends up that way it's so worth the wait. High school relationships almost always go down in flames. Don't force yourself into having a relationship. It'll always be a lot of heartache if you do. My advice is to just hang out, stop worrying, and try to enjoy life for now. Your time will come, don't worry. Good luck!

What are ways of reducing anxiety? I'm a senior in high school so I've been pushing myself to do really well this year. I am also putting in 20+ hours a week at work which takes up alot of my time. I get stressed out over the littlest things that deal with school. Just over small assignments & tests. I want to do well but I can't seem to stop having this anxiety about everything. Besides medicine, what are ways to reduce my anxiety?

Take a time out every once in awhile. Do something that has absolutely nothing to do with work or school. Take an hour every day for just "you" time. An hour or so isn't that much time out of even a busy schedule and usually it's so worth it. I was in a situation where I needed to do this and I found it so difficult. I just couldn't relax because I'd always get so restless knowing that there was always something constructive that I could be doing. What I did to solve this problem was I started running. Not jogging, no, actually running. It took a half hour if that, and saved me from severe depression and anxiety. Plus it gave me a way to clear my mind from all that pressure for awhile and it made me feel really good about myself because I was, physically, in the best shape of my life. Another thing that I did at one point was go outside and either read (casually!) or listen to music. My advice is to try a few things to find what works for you. People have different ways of dealing with anxiety. The running thing did wonders for me and I hope that you'll find something that works for you too. Good luck!

im so unhappy. i dont really know why, people just bring me down with stupidity and selfishness. i guess mostly just teenage problems, im just afraid this unhappiness is going to get to far. ive picked up smoking, and drinking, and popping pills, just to feel better. (no cutting or anything i think thats rediculous) but i guess my question is, what do i do to make myself happier. what can i say to myself or do for myself without having to go to a doctor because im another one of the millions of kids with "depression"? 17/f thanks ahead of time

First, I want to tell you that smoking, drinking, and popping pills are THE SAME as cutting (especially the pills). They are all different ways for people to escape from reality. I know what you mean about stupidity and selfishness. You will have to put up with that for the rest of your life. What you need to do is stop worrying about other people. Look for your own happiness. Be a little selfish yourself sometimes and do things that make you happy. You are still in high school...maybe high school just isn't your thing like it wasn't mine (way too much drama). College will open lots of opportunities for you and you will meet people that are very similar to you. There will always be stupidity, but you will have enough freedom to be able to avoid it. To me, happiness is the meaning of life. Don't get caught up with other people's lives. Focus on your own happiness. The last thing I want to say to you, you probably don't want to hear, but you should without a doubt talk to someone about the pills. A school nurse, counselor, or even a hotline will be able to help you out a lot with this. You need to stop before it gets out of control. I hope that you can find a way to deal with the stress and depression. Know that you are not alone in how you feel. Good luck, and please talk to someone.

Well i have been pretty close with my friends for the past 3 years (I'm a senior in HS) and i feel as if they have become very distant from me lately. They all have girlfriends except for me. It seems that all the girls i have crushes on are the ones going out with my best friends. It seems as if my friends ditched me for girls that i like, it's a very messed up situation. I don't think of myself as a shy person, it's just that i'm never around girls that i like. My friends have classes with these girls so they are around them more, so i guess you could say that they have more access, i don't know. I have never had a gf in highschool and i don't know what i'm doing wrong. At this point i'm convinced that i'm a loser.

I'm not a guy so maybe it's a little different, but I know exactly how you feel. I didn't have my first boyfriend until my freshman year in college. I never even got asked out by anybody until that year. I used to think I was ugly and boreing and that guys just didn't like me. I was involved in everything and even though I wasn't popular I was liked. This made me feel like even more of a loser and I just knew that I would die single. After leaving high school I had a summer job as a 4-H camp counselor and it changed me a lot. I realized that I wasn't such a deadbeat and that people really did like me. College gave me so many opportunities because of the freedoms it gave me. It took me awhile to adjust, but I found my niche and even though my boyfriend doesn't go to my college, (he actually worked at my summer job with me) I somehow ended up with him. What I'm trying to say is that once you're out of high school so many opportunities will be there for you. I do kind of wish that I'd had a bf in high school, but really, I'm almost glad that I didn't have to go through that drama and that I'm with the guy I'm with now. High school relationships usually go down in flames once college starts (I've seen it happen to so many people) so you should actaully consider yourself kind of lucky to be going into college single. You'll meet so many new people and so many great girls that will want to be with you. It's not that far away now, you could easily be in a great relationship in less than a year. Good luck, and don't worry about girls too much for the time being. You'll get your chances, and plenty of them.

y is it that all you gurls say you want a nice sweet guys when u wind up going out with the dark nasty selfish ones.

and dont say its bs because u know exactly what i am sayin

and a serious question demands a serious answer because my sanity is @ stake

Most of the time guys are the ones that do the asking. "Nice, sweet guys" aren't full of themselves like the "nasty selfish" ones. So because of this, typically, the nasty guys ask girls out way more often than nice guys. There's lots of reasons why girls say yes to these guys. They want to be with someone, since nice guys don't ask them out they don't think very highly of themselves, a lot of the time the nasty guys are the popular ones and some girls want to maintain or gain their popularity, or maybe they believe in giving most guys a chance or something. I've never been in this situation, but I've seen it happen to so many people. I agree with you that it's pretty dumb. Girls should be more careful and look at personality just as much as they look at popularity or attractiveness.

Okay so im a sophmore and my best friend is a Senior. Ive been noticing lately that everytime i tell her that i like a guy or that i think this guy is cute she always seems to like flirt with them in front of my face. For an example there is this new guy at our school and hes really hot so i told her that i thought he was cute and they sit at the same lunch table so she always tells me these stories and she sent me their conversation trying to make me jealous. If shes suppose to be my best friend why does she do this? Or am i just being paranoid but if im just being paranoid then i dont know bc I seem to feel this way a lot. Please help me i'll rate

It looks to me like your friend just gets very excited when she finds out who you like. She's happy for you. When she sends conversations to you she isn't trying to make you feel jealous, she thinks that hearing what guys that you like say would make you happy. She's trying to be a good friend, by accepting the guys that you like and liking them too, but not in the same way at all. She wants to be involved in your life and one of the ways she does this is by being pals with guys that you like. If it really bothers you though, just tell her how you feel. I believe that you two are just confused and this can easily be worked out if it even has to be. Good luck with your friend, and don't worry, you're not paranoid, you're just not talking to your friend enough!

ok so here's the deal, i'm fourteen years old, never been kissed, never had a boyfriend, i'm trying to find my way around in this world. i consider myself "emo" but i guess some other people don't think that. i sometimes get called a poser. i'm very extremely quiet in school and around people i don't know. sometimes i just feel invisible like nobody evens cares about me and i hate it. i don't cut or anything so i guess that's good. my life is not totally miserable, sometimes i exaggerate. i'm actually pretty blessed you could say (in some ways more than others) 2 years ago my parents got seperated. that i guess led to my over-eating. i weighed about 179 last year. thank god my weight did go down! but i'm still not thin. sometimes i think of myself as really fat when compared to other girls i'm not fat at all. now, about the boys. either they don't like me or they're afraid of me. it's really sad sometimes but i'm okay. i think i love this one boy. the thing is that we never even met. we talk online and he does live in a town near me but we've never met. i always talk to him and we talk about everything and he understands me so well. i can tell him things that i wouldn't dare tell anyone else, even my best friend! i need to meet him, but i'm way too shy, he says he's shy too but i'll be a nervous wreck!!! oh yeah and he's 17!!!! yeah right!!! like i'll ever be able to go out with him. i've never told him how i feel about him and he never said he liked me. but i really hope he does. well that is my life basically. can you please give me some advice on boys, shyness, depression, weight, and anything else that would help me? i'm so confused. thanks!

I was 18 before I had my first kiss and my first boyfriend. I never even got asked out by anyone until I was 18 either. I felt the same way you do about being invisible and unliked by other people, especially boys. I thought I wasn't very pretty and that I'd probably stay single for the rest of my life. I felt like I wasn't as good as other girls who were already getting engaged! I was always really quiet and never talked to anyone about anything. I've never had to go through a divorce or anything like that, but until you got to that part I was literally screaming "that's me!". Boys really do like you. After all those negative feelings about myself, I am in a very happy relationship with a really great guy. Looking back, sometimes I wish I'd had a relationship in high school, but the more I think about it the happier I am that I didn't, just because I am so happy now. I think that you have a pretty good chance with the 17 year old guy you're talking about. I don't think you can know if you love him just yet, but you definitely at least like him a lot and have a huge crush on him. I would say to go for it! It's so hard to make the first move, but that is my advice to you. Tell him that you like him online or on the phone and then go from there. Who knows, maybe he has feelings for you too! Definitely tell him you like him when you're not face to face, it was so much easier for me that way. Anyways, good luck with everything. You seem like a really great person and someday soon guys will start to see that...they do mature slower than girls. I hope everything works out with your online prospect!

i really want a baby of my own but i'm only 14. is that bad? i want a baby by the time i am a sophmore in high school. i am very motherly and plenty mature enough, i babysit all the time.
i have a boy in mind that i would want to get me pregnant and i'm sure he would have sex with me, but i know he wouldnt want to be a father at 15 or 16. (he's a year older than me) he's not my boyfriend, but he used to be,
i love him with all my heart and i know he already wants to move closer to me for college but still, thats a couple years away.
my family loves him and his family and his family feels the same way. i'm sure my family would help me out as much as they could if i did get pregnant, but still....
help!! any advice at all would be wonderful.
is it bad that i want a baby so bad? should i like, seduce this guy and have sex with him? what if he denies having sex with me if i do have a baby? what if he stops loving me because of me having a child?

i'll rate good for good answers!

I think that you are much too young to be having a baby. It's not a bad thing at all to want it, that just shows that you're a little more mature than most for your age. Wanting to have a baby is wonderful, but actually doing it when you're 14 is not a good idea. DO NOT use the guy you like as a sperm donor for this baby. It's unfair to him and it's unfair to the child if you end up having one. He's not your boyfriend so you two aren't committed to each other, and he may not love you like you love him to begin with. It's only a small chance that he stay with you for the rest of your life baby or not. Tricking him into having a baby is very wrong. It's not just YOUR baby, it would be his too. No one should ever purposely get pregnant unless they are in a very committed relationship or are older and have a very stable income with very good job security. Having a baby will put a lot of pressure on your parents if you still plan on going to school, which I would strongly suggest for you to do in that situation. You don't have an income at all much less having one sufficient enough to support a baby. A single mother without an education no matter what age would have a really hard time supporting a child. There is also the chance that you would never find a partner. In the first 4-8 years your parents would be doing most of the raising since you'd be in school so the child wouldn't be yours as much as you would probably like. Live your life! You are young! It's only a few more years before you can have kids...enjoy being one before you start having them. Try not to think so selfishly...think about how this would affect other people, especially the child that you would have. Don't you want him/her to have a complete family and not get picked on in school for being poor or for having a mother that's young enough to be their older sister? Once you have a baby you can't give it back, it's yours forever. If you REALLY want to be around a baby and raise a baby, maybe talking to your parents about adopting one for themselves is an option. That way, you could be a really great older sister and help raise the baby for your parents. If that's not something that they want to do, maybe you should think about getting a job as a baby sitter or at a daycare service. You would be around babies all the time and you could help raise them and, in your own special way, claim them for your own. I know this may sound a little harsh, but I really don't want you to do something that you will, without a doubt, regret. I'm really looking forward to having kids too, and sometimes I want to have them now, but then I start thinking about how hard it would be for everyone, my parents, my boyfriend, his parents, the baby...it's just not worth it at this time in my life or in yours. I do know how you feel and I'm happy for you that you feel that way. Give it a few years and a steady relationship and you will be a really great mother in the future. Remember having kids is a huge deal that shouldn't be taken so lightly as you're taking it. I wish you all the luck in the world and I hope that you will wait for a better time in your life to start having children.

ok things have gotten really stressfull in my life right now and i need soem help. the only way i have found to handle my stress is smoking. i have smoked for 4 years offa nd on. but never as much as i smoke now. about a year ago a pack would last me almost a week. now it barely lasts me over a day! i want to slow down, but i tend to get grumpy and really super stressed when i do. any ways i can either cut down with out freakign out or just take away some of my stress? i know smoking so much is only harming my body not helping, but i dont know any other ways to handle my stress

Different things work for different people, but I can tell you how we got my uncle to stop smoking. My aunt and my mother made a bank account for him and every week he didn't smoke they each put $20 into the account. He would get all of the money after three consecutive months without smoking a single cigarette. He had to be honest and fess up when he did smoke, which he did, but he usually got caught anyways. Basically they paid him to stop smoking and it worked like you can't believe. He started chewing gum because the idea of not having anything in his mouth was a lot of what the problem was. His addiction to cigarettes, became an addiction to gum, just plain old gum. He ended up giving the money back to my aunt and my mother because he was so grateful to them for helping him quit. I don't know if the money thing would work for you or if you can find anybody to do it, but chewing gum, whether it be Nicorette or Juicy Fruit should help. Good luck! There are lots of different ways to relieve stress because again, different things work for different people. Physical activity was always what worked for me...when I got oober stressed I'd just go for a jog or something to clear my mind. Try different things until you find something that works!

Hi…well me and my bf (nikko) had a fight….he always get jealous on me.Even if I talk to somebody like my classmate if it is a guy he gets jealous and he will try to say that he will break up on me but he always say in the end that he cant do that bcoz he loves me…Well tomorrow im going to an occasion with my family but he wants me to stay in the house bcoz he is afraid that I may talk to a guy there…I have promise him that I will not talk to guy there but he always say that I should stay in the house which I cant bcoz every year we go there…I know that I talk to much in a guy, I cant avoid it…I know also that I have hurt him to much…what can I do? I love him so much. I don’t wanna lose him…and I know that he loves me…plz don’t say that I should break up with him,please…

I will rate high,promiz

Okay, this is a really difficult situation. Your man is really jealous and you're not doing anything wrong! Talking to other guys is perfectly fine for you to do when you're in a relationship. Relationships should not take away that much of your social life. Besides, it's not like you are flirting with other guys or cheating on your boyfriend in any way. Guys are people and it's kind of silly to not be allowed to talk to them. However, since your boyfriend is soooo oober jealous (I know a lot of people that are like this) and you want things to work out between you two there's a few things you need to do. Try to stop apologizing for and promising not to talk to other guys. Your doing that is making it a little worse. Your boyfriend sees how you're not talking to guys and he now expects that from you. That's part of where the jealosy actually comes from because he's thinking that since you usually don't talk to guys that when you do you must like them. The one thing that all healthy relationships have is good communication. What you need to do is talk to him about it. Tell him how you feel, but be very careful, you don't want to hurt his feelings. He needs to give you a little freedom to be yourself. Tell him that you feel caged and that his jealosy of you just TALKING to other guys makes you think that he doesn't trust you. Tell him that he needs to let you talk to whoever you want to prove to you that he does really trust you. I'm sure he does, but he is definitely acting like he doesn't. If you make him think that you don't think he trusts you maybe he will give you a little more freedom. If worst comes to worst you don't necessarily have to break up, but you can take a break from the relationship. Don't stop talking to guys because it makes him jealous! Even if he doesn't like it he will get used to it after awhile, but only if you do it. I hope everything works out okay for you. Good luck!

How can you get more than one picture of yourself on here if possible?

I will rate 5's to every person who answers

I think the only way you can do that is if you make two pictures into one. That probably doesn't make a lot of sense, but what you do is copy them into Paint side by side. When you go to save it, under where you type the file name there's a drop down box. Select JPEG and then click save. If you're able to upload it and everything works out stop reading right here! If your collage is larger than 15K, (it'll tell you when you try to upload it and it won't work) download a program from the internet called IrfanView. In IrfanView go to File, Open, and find the collage. Then go to Image and click on Resize/Resample. Type a smaller number into the width box and the length number will change automatically. Save the file as a JPG file and keep trying slightly smaller sizes until it works. You can also use IrfanView to make your collage a little larger if it comes out too small. I hope this works for you! Good luck!

I met this guy at a retreat (only like him as a friend) he kinda asked me to his homecoming. when i say kinda, it was like "if this person says no, would you wanna go w/me". Im like "well since you put it like that".(i was being sarcastic) Hes like "i didnt mean it that way". i told him if he really wanted me to i would. then he was like "really?" Anyways, 2 nights later he came to visit me at work, and told me it was a joke, and hes sorry, but that he would go to mine. Im like "nah, i already have a date." That night he talked to my friend and told her he really wants me to go to his. Im thinking WTH. The next night he imd me and asked me if i still wanted to go to his homecoming, or we could just see a movie or something. I asked him again if he really wanted to take me, and then he starts with all these excuses. Like: so and so hates you. (a girl that i havent seen for 5 yrs) and she didnt talk to me all day at school today.(that girl told him not to take me) He told me he liked me, and went on to say, "but we just met", then said "Ive decided im not going, besides, i have no money."
Then last night he ims me by saying my name, and i said "wat" and hes like "nothing". The guy is really starting to piss me off at this point. i told him no guy has ever asked me to h/c twice and then tell me he had mixed emotions. I told him you dont ask, then blame the girl for getting upset because hes trying to justify y he did wat he did!! Hes like "i dont get why h/c was such a big deal to you". i told him that wasnt the point, its how he was acting after the fact, like asking twice then make up every excuse in the book why you dont want to go, then blaming HER for getting cocky towards him. Hes like "forgive and forget, i didnt know you were gonna get like this." Hes like, "you totally misunderstood where i was coming from. (I literally wanted to punch the guy at this point) then goes on to say, "i dont want to go to h/c w/u, but i still wanted to be friends and hang out some more, but then you go and freak out on me." Hes like, "i know the evidence is against me, but why hold a grudge? He said, "Well i dont understand now why youre so hostile just because i didnt want to go to h/c w/u even after i said i did, but i had a change of heart" (change of heart twice??) Then he says IM turning everything against him!! (Damn this guy is seriously giving me a headache!)
He says he still wants to come and visit me at work and hang out. I told him thats not a good idea, and that i really dont care to talk to him anymore. Then he said i was being a bitch, and i told him he was for wat he did, and i told him not to put all his problems on me, and drag me into his messed up world. I told him that i dont want to be friends w/some1 that cant stand on their own 2 feet and cant make up their mind wat they want! Then he says "i cant believe ur so hostile after my "mistake." (is this guy a loser or wat?) well ive had enough of his bull****, so i just said that i dont want to talk to him anymore and if he ims me im just gonna block him!! He says hes glad that hes free for that night, and that im just a silly girl. Then HE blocked me! I went under my other s/n and told him that he just isnt worth my time and signed off!
I would just like some input on this. Was i being the jerk here or wat? Im not the sharpest tool in the chest, but hey, i dont think they come any stranger than this.

You didn't do anything wrong at all. When people act like he's acting it's usually because they like you, but they like someone else too (or a few other people) and they just can't decide between the two of you. I've had some experience with this and I would say to steer clear of this guy. Don't be mean to him or anything since he is your friend, just give him some space and time to figure things out. It seems like he's really confused and since you don't like him as more than a friend, there's no sense in letting him stress you out like this. After it's all over he'll still be your friend and you'll have saved yourself a lot of agony. Good luck!

i have a friend, and she copies me all the time! it drives me nuts! one day i was like "haha, stupid girl!" she says that all the time. I have like 3 pairs of flats and i wear them ALL the time and now she copies me ALL THE TIME. yeah, i know this is stupid and stuff but it just makes me mad so much that she would copy me! i mean doesnt she have her own life? what do i DO?!

Some people are leaders and others are followers. Your friend likes you a lot and she thinks that everything about you is really great, which is a good thing, but the copying thing can be annoying even to other people around you. She's not doing it on purpose, she just thinks that you're the bomb diggity and that everything you do is the best and what's "in". You don't want to hurt her feelings since she's your friend, but this really has to stop! My advice is to start making suggestions to her. Tell her what she would look good in, or what she is good at as an individual. She likes you a lot so she will most likely take your tips very seriously. After a while if she hasn't gotten the hint, start saying negative things about what she's copying from you. Tell her she doesn't look good in this, or she shouldn't act like that because it's not her. Eventually if it keeps happening you might have to sit down with her and talk to her about how you feel. If it comes to this make sure that she understands that you don't dislike her because of what she's doing, you're just really annoyed. Good luck!

my crush asked me to the halloween dance today. I accepted, but now im petrified. Im just really scared. WHAT IF EVERYTHING GOES WRONG... i dont know... what if ... geez, right now im freaked enough to believe that aliens can ruin this dance. i want everything to be perfect, but even still, in the mean time, how can i get rid of this... dance phobia thing ;)

Being worried about something going wrong is definitely normal especially if you really like this guy. It's okay to be nervous. Once you get there you'll probably start to feel a lot better. Keep in mind though...it doesn't always have to be perfect. Perfection can be found in the oddest places and sometimes the most perfect night is so special just because it wasn't perfect. I know a girl who broke her heel at a dance once and she was so upset, but right after it happened her man carried her off of the dance floor like a prince in shining armor. They BOTH wore no shoes for the rest of the dance. It was so sweet of him and my friend had one of the best times of her life. I know that you will have a good time. He likes you and you like him, so go to that dance knowing that you're going to have a good time no matter what happens and you will!

i am 14 im about 5'4 or 5'5 i weigh 135 pounds. i am very muscular with muscular legs and arms. I am gaining weight and its going right to my stomache.. i know i am eating poorly but i am excersizing daily b/c i am in athletics currently involved in volleyball. I will be in off season soon for basketball so i will lose acouple pounds off of that. I really want to lose weight! Any ideas to get my mind off of junk food and start losing weight >>FAST

I know how you feel. The exact same thing happens to me. When I was a senior in high school I was about 5'6'' tall and I weighed about 140. I always got so mad about that stupid little gut I had. I was jealous of the girls who's stomachs actually curved IN instead of stuck out. But the truth is, probably no matter how thin you get it won't go away, it's how your body is shaped. I lost ten pounds during track that year and though I was thinner it still looked exactly the same! It's not all that bad though...the way that you look at it, from above, is an angle that makes it look like more than it really is, plus, you are always your worst critic. You are in shape, and you are really active, so eating a lot of food is actually helping you gain back all that energy that you lose during the day. Junk food likely isn't making you gain weight, this is about the time when people start filling out because they've stopped growing taller. Plus, muscle does weigh more than fat. You are definitely not overweight and until you stop being so active, don't worry about what you eat unless all that grease makes you feel sick. If you're REALLY worried about the way that your stomach looks, plain old sit ups will probably help flatten it out a little. I hope I helped!

<<< Previous Advice Column

Next Advice Column >>>