|
my life is a mess!
ok so here's the deal, i'm fourteen years old, never been kissed, never had a boyfriend, i'm trying to find my way around in this world. i consider myself "emo" but i guess some other people don't think that. i sometimes get called a poser. i'm very extremely quiet in school and around people i don't know. sometimes i just feel invisible like nobody evens cares about me and i hate it. i don't cut or anything so i guess that's good. my life is not totally miserable, sometimes i exaggerate. i'm actually pretty blessed you could say (in some ways more than others) 2 years ago my parents got seperated. that i guess led to my over-eating. i weighed about 179 last year. thank god my weight did go down! but i'm still not thin. sometimes i think of myself as really fat when compared to other girls i'm not fat at all. now, about the boys. either they don't like me or they're afraid of me. it's really sad sometimes but i'm okay. i think i love this one boy. the thing is that we never even met. we talk online and he does live in a town near me but we've never met. i always talk to him and we talk about everything and he understands me so well. i can tell him things that i wouldn't dare tell anyone else, even my best friend! i need to meet him, but i'm way too shy, he says he's shy too but i'll be a nervous wreck!!! oh yeah and he's 17!!!! yeah right!!! like i'll ever be able to go out with him. i've never told him how i feel about him and he never said he liked me. but i really hope he does. well that is my life basically. can you please give me some advice on boys, shyness, depression, weight, and anything else that would help me? i'm so confused. thanks! <3anonymus
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
I was almost twenty the first time I kissed a girl, so don't feel about about only being fourteen.
]
First to answer about being single...Hey, I don't want to sound mean or anything, but having never been kissed and having never had a boyfriend isn't as bad as the the problems that a lot of girls have. Not even close. I've seen 10-year-olds being raped by their own dads, girls who get sold by their parents in exchange for drugs, and in India, 12, 13, and 14 year old girls are forced to become prostitutes and live in brothels because they're so poor. There's no way you could possibly "be tryng to make your way around in this world" just because of that. In fact, it was only around the 1980s that 13-14 year old girls started getting boyfriends and kissing and stuff. I know it seems that everyone is getting a boyfriend and first kisses, etc., but you shouldn't rush yourself just to keep in tune with the rest of the teen world. There will be someone for you eventually, and it's probably not gonna happen when you're 14. And couples in the 8th and 9th grade don't last too long together anyway.
about depression...to tell you the truth, I highly doubt that you are depressed. I know how awful when you feel invisible, I've been there. If you know that your life isn't all miserable and you think you're blessed in some ways, then you are absolutely not depressed. One could not see these things when they're depressed.
about weight...here's a good idea. Instead of eating three square meals a day, eat several mini-meals. And keep it healthy. Stay away from junk food and carbohydrates. A good substitute for butter is SmartBalance, which tastes exactly like butter only is good for you. Even when you feel really sad, discipline yourself not to over eat.
last, to answer about that boy on the Internet...I highly doubt you are in love. You have never seen him or talked to him. You can develope a crush online, but you can't fall in love online. Also, 14 isn't old enough to fall in love. You aren't experienced enough in the world, even if you think you are. Being "emo" and being upset a lot isn't what makes you a worldy person. and do NOT try and meet him! I cannot over-emphasize how important that is. On the Internet, you can be whoever you want to be. He can say he lives in a town near you when he doesn't. He can say he's 17 when he's really 45. You can keep talking to him...just don't reveal anything about yourself. I heard about this 11-year-old who said she was 16, and met this guy online. He said he was 17 when he was really 58, and she told him too much about herself. The one day he came to her house while her parents were away and molested her.
Sorry this was long! Hope I helped! If you need anything, you can drop a word in my inbox!
]
I was 18 before I had my first kiss and my first boyfriend. I never even got asked out by anyone until I was 18 either. I felt the same way you do about being invisible and unliked by other people, especially boys. I thought I wasn't very pretty and that I'd probably stay single for the rest of my life. I felt like I wasn't as good as other girls who were already getting engaged! I was always really quiet and never talked to anyone about anything. I've never had to go through a divorce or anything like that, but until you got to that part I was literally screaming "that's me!". Boys really do like you. After all those negative feelings about myself, I am in a very happy relationship with a really great guy. Looking back, sometimes I wish I'd had a relationship in high school, but the more I think about it the happier I am that I didn't, just because I am so happy now. I think that you have a pretty good chance with the 17 year old guy you're talking about. I don't think you can know if you love him just yet, but you definitely at least like him a lot and have a huge crush on him. I would say to go for it! It's so hard to make the first move, but that is my advice to you. Tell him that you like him online or on the phone and then go from there. Who knows, maybe he has feelings for you too! Definitely tell him you like him when you're not face to face, it was so much easier for me that way. Anyways, good luck with everything. You seem like a really great person and someday soon guys will start to see that...they do mature slower than girls. I hope everything works out with your online prospect!
]
More Questions: |