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Life is an adventure but Life doesn't come with user manuals for everything. School subjects do little to prepare us. Its no wonder we all need helpful advice sometimes. Blessings to you!

advice

I'm not a virgin. I've had sex twice. I always used to use pads. But now i want to switch on to tampons. So i bought a pack of tampons. They are without applicators. I'm on my period and I've tried to insert a tampon but it never completely goes in. I first wash my vagina and then try to insert it. Does washing my vagina is making it dry? Also when i try to take the tampons it tends to stick to my vagina. Am i doing it wrong? What could be the problem?

Personally, I never had success trying to apply the cottony material against the moistness of the inside of vagina....it just won't slide.
There is a ring of muscles you also need to get the tampon past so it fits inside comfortably. All you need is to wash your hands thouroghly. Washing of the vagina inside is not necessary. In fact washing with soap can cause irrations or cause infections to come later. Same for douching as it washes away all the good germs of this unique little ecosystem so the bad ones can take over.

Now back to how to insert easily, I suggest getting some success first using the tampons with the plastic applicators since KY jelly or another personal lubricant is easy to apply to the plastic and not quickly absorbed like the ones with out the plastic. With an applicator and lube, its so easy to just slide in as far as it goes and when you press the plunger to release the tampon, it should be well past the ring of muschles that make it feel uncomfortable like something is in the way. I remember periods at the end on light days and when trying to pull the tampon out by the string, it doesnt glide out easy but drags against dry skin. This can happen no matter what you do and can't be helped. Get your fingers lubed up and try to grease the way for it to come out. It isn't actually hard to begin with and doesnt hurt or cause damage, just feels weird or maybe a wee bit uncomfortable, but pain...no.

The only pain and issues is when a tampon can't fit no matter what is done and could be due to a septate hymen, instead of a ring of extra flesh around the circumference, its a strip of flesh down the middle creating two smaller access holes, too small for tampons in many cases. But that is a simple thing for Dr. to take care of, snipping away the extra.
So, no washing the inside of vagina, use lube on plasic applicator or on your fingers to help and thats about it. Good luck.

Part of this all is getting to feel comfortable with yourself. Lots of females are afraid to get their fingers inside of themself. Biggest fear is losing the tampon inside somehow. But thats not possible aa while resting, the vagina is only about 3 inches long and that is why tampons aren't any longer. The vagina also dead ends at your cervix, the entrance to the womb and is you ever feel it with your fingers, you'll know you can't get anything to accidently go inside. Its feels like the tip of your nose and the entrance is only big enough for sperm and your egg to fit through and thats about it.

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I am a male and i recently just got the text of "i think we should just stay friends" and "im not ready for a relationship right now" but i feel a strong passionate liking for her but im not sure what to do, so can anyone help me?

I agree with the other advice. As a female tho, I've had to say many times to a guy that I simply wasn't interested in the same way as him to go the next step in a relationship.
Yes, its hard to turn someone down cus you don't want to hurt them. But staying with someone you don't feel romantically towards is wrong too.
Her line to you seems to be the current popular thing to say what lack of what else to say at a moments notice when you havent ever thought of this possibility facing you. Take yourself, what would you say to a girl who wants to marry you and proposes, but all you've been is friends and you are not attracted to her that way? If you haven't thoght of the possibility and nailed down in your mind how you'd react, then unfortunately people say things that too often give the other person 'false hope'. While it may be true she isn't feeling ready for a romantic relationship at this point in her life, adding the word 'Yet' transformed the intent behind the message to, "I'm not ready for a relationship with you Right now, but will be later if you don't mind waiting a while." It is too easy to beleive she is feeling rushed and all that is needed is some time. However, there is that damning first sentence of "I think we should just stay friends."
This was the first thing she spoke while not having a clue how to respond in this case and what most often is said is 'We should just remain friends, nothing else.' This is usually followed by an instant pany of guilt so some people think that giving false hope for now will somehow lessen the blow and so people will say something that makes the asker feel that they still have a chance in the future.

Adviceman brought up the fact she is probably saying no to not just holding hands and kissing but the whole sexual thing.
And thats where I want to make another comment. I've found that the two most important foundations to a solid happy relationship is first friendship, and thru the friendship falling in love and then adding the sexual part. If a marriage has two people who are each others best friend, and they also have a lot in common sexually, then you'll have a great relationship.
Too often tho, we marry just for one or the other. If marrying cus the sex is wild but neither treats the other as best friend, then the relationship falls apart on that point. Same goes if the two are best of friends and marry but have no chemistry sexually. Well, maybe one feels it but the other doesnt. What happens in these cases is that neither is getting sex. The one wants it but the partner won't give it. And the one is not turned on sexually by their partner but loves them cus its their friend. THe stress can get bad enough that eventually one or both have affairs to get sex or they end up divorcing and feeling bad about it on one hand while on the other they find someone better suited.
Yeah, its basically a big mess to go down that road I can't say why it is so that so often a guy has claimed to want me and feel attraction to me but I felt none with him, or the same for you, but it isn't something that you can change any more than one can't change the pheremones they were born with. Pheremones are what causes the initial sexual attraction. SO for one to feel it and the other not at all, makes me still wonder today if it was more of the man feeling lust or a woman feeling so desperate to have a man in her life that she just thinks she feels something with a guy who doesnt with her.
So what you do is give her space, and stop persuing her as a girlfriend. Now that she knows how you feel, hanging out as friends is going to be all the more uncomfortable as she is always thinking about you feeling in love with her while she feels nothing. So I don't think you can easily even have just a friendship with her unless she really wants the friendship and persues it. You might let her know that whenever she wants a buddy to hang with, to give you a call. Then, if that call never comes, you'll know it was too awkward for her. YOu may just want to start meeting new girls too when you are over your dissapointment.

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My question is why do adults teach their children not to interrupt people because it's rude and then they end up doing it? It happens to me ALL the time. I can be talking to my mother at a party for family friends or something when one of her friends just comes up and starts talking, to which my mother would go to listen to because or else it would be considered rude. So what are kids just not worthy of being the first voice? Is interrupting a kid who's talking somehow justified with "oh its just more important" when its its actually not even close to that? Are kids talking to somebody just invisible to the other? Why should kids not interrupt adults when adults do that all the time to kids?

Its rude all around to interrupt a person when they are talking or even really focused on a task. My husband is a highly functioning autistic. You wouldn't know it until he had too many things, input, vying for attention. So its not just interrupting speach but a persons concentration on something, heck even a good movie or game.

Heres something I learned in a parenting class decades ago when my kids were little. its called the 'interrupt rule'. kids are told to know it by this title at least for the training period until it becomes a habit to use it.
Its quite simple, using another one of the five senses, touch to get a silent message to a person that you require their attention as soon as possible. SO in the beginning, as a child came running in to tell me something interrupting a conversation, I would simply say, "What's the interrupt rule?" Immediately, I'd feel their hand on my fore arm and they were quieetly waiting their turn. It is rude to make someone wait too long though so both people need to work on it.

Recently when hubby was engrossed on teaching someone on line how to use a game, I had waved at him to get his attention, something he could see without me talking but knowing I wanted to talk and afraid of losing his train of thought, he started whining and losing it. So next time, I silently laid my hand on his shoulder or arm while standing there silently.
It seems this form of silent message, with just a touch is something the brain is able to work thru better, able to still focus and come to a stopping point on the first task while at same time a part of the brain acknowledges that they have to take a break to discover what it is you need to say.
I wish this was taught uniformly across the world, in homes, in classrooms because it works.
Good luck teaching it to adult friends!

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Hello.Im from Greece,Im 15 and a girl and the boy im in love with is 13.5..I have told my parents but my dad has a problem because he is younger than me and he thinks that in that age we can not make a relantioship..he likes him and stuff but its just that he is younger,what should i do?how to make him realize that he is so a good boy and mature for his age how to make him understand that im in love with him?

I agree with all adviceman has said. If you want to be able to spend time with this boy, then there is a slight chance the following might help if the parents go for it. I had all girls and and such, a big issue on the minds of us parents was their not becoming pregnant, or raped, etc...
Parents of girls will just automatically be more protective of a girl. When my girls were entering middle school which covers the age of your boy, I told them they could have male friends but I asked them to choose carefully whether they really wanted to do the dating a boyfriend thing while in school. They observed the other girls and all my girls decided not to date cus the majority of the time, other girls were upset cus of constant breakups and their schoolwork and grades suffered.
I told my girls that if there was a guy they liked and he seemed to like them too as a classmate, then the next step was friendship. I said to invite the guy to our house. There were guys all right, but not a one took us up on the invite. However I know parents who've done it successfully including my sister and her daughter. The boy is invited over to spend time with the girl only when the parents are home and whatever room they are in, the door must remain open so its public, not private. If your parents were willing to do this for you and his parents willing to allow him to come to your home, thats a way to spend the time you want now with a guy.

Don't try to convince Dad that it is love you feel for this boy. As already told to you, tho very real at your age, you also have much mental maturing and growth left and will go thru many more relationships. Your Dad is at the other end of things from you, having once been your age, felt the same for some girl in school but never grew up to marry her. Adults can see the fine differences of young love and what it takes to have a deep lasting love and wonderful relationship with your partner that will stand the tests of time. What I do know scientifically is that the pre frontal cortex of teen brains is not complete or done growing as the rest of your body seems to be. Your body may have sexually developed but the brain doesnt reach full maturith until you get into your mid 20s so for you, that's 10 yrs away. While Dad may not know why he isn't looking at this as seriously as you are, its likely for that one thing, a brain that while working, is not able to see everything clearly yet, and had trouble making good decisions, even in relationships. Its much better for a parent to know any young man as your 'male' friend, not boyfriend which sets parents off, and as just your friend who is always over visiting. You say the boy is liked but the issue is his age. If it truly isn't an issue, what better way for the parents to discover he is intellectually at about the same place as you. See if they'll go for it. They still get to exercise the control and watchfulness, protecting you but also get to know any friend you bring home, better this way.

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What does it mean when a guy say you playing with me

Most likely, whether true or not, he seems to believe that you are not being honest with him, two f aced, that 'playing' with him is much like the moves of card players, trying to look one way with your poker face while something totally different is actually going on. When females call a guy a player...same word again, what does it mean to you?
Probably the same as it does to all women, that he can't be trusted. That his behavior so far as been one of seeming interest in you personally and acting like they really want you in their life as a mate when they had ulterior motives, only wanting you for booty call. What it really comes down to is sex. A girl wants a boyfriend so she pretends she wants him for sex but then doesnt give it to him at all, for whatever reason, more often that she simply likes getting him riled up and then leaving him hanging, never going thru with it. Its called 'being a tease', or leading a person on. On the other hand, guys do this too, but instead of withholding the sex, they want the sex but are withholding the friendship and everything else besides the sex that a female really wants.

I have found that in some cases, what the younger generation mean by saying something, or what they believe a term or work to mean is totally unknown and afraid to ask, they just imagine or make up in their minds what it is. So I have explained to you the term. However I can't say that what ever is in this guys mind is the same as I told you. You would have to ask him what he means when he said you are playing with me. For all you know, to him it might mean, you are teasing me.

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I'm sick and tired of being so calm all the time, because people often become bored of me. I can be VERY enthusiastic in text messaging/email, but when it comes to talking aloud... I can't be enthusiastic.

Now I'm not trying to change who I am. I'm actually trying to make myself happier, because being enthusiastic makes me infinitely happier than being so calm does.

So, I'm wondering if anyone has any tips on "faking it until you make it" on being enthusiastic, optimistic and happy.

Thank you for your time!!! :D

Can't say I know of a way to fake it until you get there. Most people even tho they aren't totally or at all aware they do this, they pick up more on the vibes coming off people than what they actually see or hear from a person.
I wonder if you are assuming enthusiasm is the only thing you need to be popular and loved instead of boring and avoided.
Faking being popular is a fruitless endeavor if that's what you are going for unless you go to the root of the problem/issue and work on that. More often than not, myself included, and probably you too, we just are not attracted to people who are really shy, quiet, seem boring, always looking at the ground, can't meet your eyes,...etc......

and its because people like that are too much work to get any convo out of let alone any quality fun time together so we don't even bother. I even used to be the shy quiet type. Now that I am outgoing, i don't even like having people like that for close friends but I do at least understand them and won't ignore them but my time with them is very limited.
I feel this is normal, to want to be with people that make us feel good and the more flamboyant a person is, the more they will attract people to them. But theres such a thing as trying too hard to please and that can come off as being fake. I work with a 24 yr old gal who has come from a rough past and isn't totally on the right path yet but working same place as me. I watch her and as far as fast food service, for customers who don't really need to ever get close to her, she is well liked for being so extra friendly that is almost comes off as fake. Yes, people want this but in small does such as out and about and the cashier at some store bein like this, it works, but for when we try too hard and I did at one point, it can actually confuse and scare some people away. I believe what you may actually be after is self confidence.
And yes, self confidence can be faked for a while, or at least borrowed until you learn to develope your own from the experience. If you feel it is self confidence that you are actually seeking to become more popular and sought out, then let me know and I can go over that with you.
I wish you the best.

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MY FAMILY gets offended by my facebook posts, and told my family they don't like me nor want me around...I laughed out loud when I heard that and said high school was 13 yrs ago....I was like I didn't realize our mindsets were supposed to be the same...nope im not into people controlling me and telling me what to do etc....I wasnt put on earth to be your friend, nor for you to like me.....my facebook page is mine and I post what I want......

I feel that if my posts don't apply to you, then you shouldn't get offended ...and they don’t have to read em….we are all still on bad terms and no longer speak and they don't like me but they wont tell me that to my face because they know Im going to hurt their feelings, so they talk shyt behind my back, that's what toddlers do but Ive always kept my distance from them for years and only come around on various holidays if I feel like it, they are just some people im related 2, I don’t have to be around them nor live with them....

I don't kiss butt, I know no good when I see it.....and If something is wrong im going to say something....i wasn’t put on earth to be anyones friend……im not the type to allow the negative to go on just because that is what the Jones do....u don’t allow kids to fight, I know im not the parent, but if I see something wrong im going to make sure it stops…the same folks wonder why babymamas and babydaddies exist, because there is no discipline and they allow ignorance and act like sheep…..

if we as people allow the negative to continue our world will never get better and I will speak on that on various forums…my posts are open to the public and I don’t care…you can like it or not…you may or may not agree wit you me but im still going to voice how I feel and not put up with ignorance to “fit in” I refuse to be a follower”...i will always be me weather u like it or not….I dont have any drama in my life, no kids etc...so I guess they don't like me because im not miserable like them.....

i have freedom of speech and I use it, and I keep my personal life personal…so my family doesn’t know anything about me unless I tell them verbally or someone sees something and runs their mouth…..they don’t know me…I keep to myself and im sure you can see why….

We can;t pick our family, we're born into it. And thats saying that what we wish we had, a 100% normal loving supportive family isn't always what we get.
When you say family, I'm assuming parents and siblings if not extended family also. While we all wish our parents being older were more mature than us, that also isn't always the case. It doesnt take mature intelligent people to create babies.
I will state that every family seemse to have at least one bad apple if not more. In my case, computers didn't exist when I was growing up and my parents (now gone) never got to use cell phones. So facebook wasn't ever an issue in my family nor even now. Of the siblings, I seem to be the one who knows more about using a pc than my sisters. However I did twice in the past have family stop talking to me over 'imagined' against them...grievances committed by me. I am one to admit when I am wrong as I wish to be a better person than the one I was the day before but in these cases, I was never at fault. Once Mom stopped talking to me, totally ignored, wouldn't look my way tho we worked in the same company. It became very obvious to co workers. Another time, Dads feelings got hurt and he told a sibling and both he and the sibling stopped talking to me. I am talking no contact for months, like 6 mos straight or more. So, yes, I understand how helpless you can feel to right things when its the family who is spinning out of control and I know how it hurts or is embarassing at the least to be ignored. But sometimes, we have to stick to our guns and just move forward.
What I can say is that if, whenever your family decided to come down off their high horse and stop critisizing your FB or anything else and just love you, be ready to accept them back with welcome arms. Do not bring up the past and what they did. Don't pressure them to ask you for forgiveness. All that can stir up their anger again and fact that they seem to be very immature and childish, thats an easy thing to do. I had to love back and not wait for apologys. I never did recieve apologies and as time went on, I realized it didn't matter. What mattered is that we were once again together and a loving family again.
t

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if a man is not engaged or married but is dating a woman exclusively.....would you consider him as single.....I asked a few men this question and they have g/f's n fiancée's and they told me, they are single because that person they are with isn't their wife ....what do you think about this... personally I think it is wrong 2 lie and say you are single just because she isn't your wife.....that 2 me says you want 2 cheat and have cheated or will cheat soon if the right fukktard comes along...da hell??? why cant men just be honest for once in their lives??? that shyt deters me from dating....cuz like ive said before if dude aint tryna cheat, he wanna come out the closet or murder you, there aren't many options left...smdh times a million....

As in the dictionary you'll find words with several total different meanings, so it is with the word single in the context you are sharing.

As far as seeing themselves single cus they are not married, think of forms you fill out, for the Drs. office, a job interview, etc. where there is a space for marital status and the only choices are:

single married or divorced

so to day they are single is telling the truth. But it is more than that. And most people would know and understand that a person asking them and not having them fill out a form, are actually wanting to know if they are free to date or are they"
seeing someone, dating someone, in a committed relationship, engaged or married. Even an engaged guy is technically still single untiil married but not available to date if he's a one woman man.

So it may be best to go differently at how one asks another person their status.

So your first question then of not engaged or married but is dating a woman exclusively, the man is single but NOT available. I suggest not using the word single which I know most everyone does. Try asking if the guy is married, engaged, dating, exclusive with, committed to, or seeing someone. They can still lie and I have had to go through that with adult men later in life when I divorced and began to seek my new mate. I did find him but not until I met some lousy men who lied to me, out there. Met some great ones too but we were too different, nothing in common.
The thing is to get good at catching inconsistencies in one person to determine wether they are who they say they are or not. A good way to find if theres another lady in his life but he's hiding it is to ask to meet his family, parents and siblings cus if he's aiming to cheat with you, he can't very easily introduce you as his gf on the side now can he?

Or dont even come out and say you are interested or want to date and ask these things. Just find a way to have a converstation with him and ask a few questions and answer some yourself and then ask the one thing you really want to know but don't make it your only point blank question: Would you consider yourself a One woman man? No matter his answer, don't get upset, just ask him if he minds explaining why and doing this casually. That way you know what you need to know and he won't know you were interested. If a guy asked you out, then you could say you are only interested in monogamous men, the ones who are a one woman man, so if he isn't, thats okay for him but to please go looking elsewhere than with you. Then warn him if he says he has no one else but in dating him you discover that he lied, you will dump him immediately and heres the catch, lots of women don't dump the guy and it was empty threats so the man will not respect your rules and boundaries and you will keep running into guys like him until you do learn. When women threaten guys but end up staying with him hoping to convince him to leave the other woman, then they are not being the best person themselves because they have developed feelings and figure its easier to stay and get what ever little bit of him they can even if its really a bad deal. This tactic trains men to not respect women and they feel they can get away with anything they want cus most women are so desperate for a man in their lives that they will take just about anything so theres no need for them to be straigtht upstanding people who are kind and thouhtful and truthful, etc. In this, many women have some part in teaching men the wrong way. Not like training in a class or training a pet cus that sounds awful. I am talking about the training/teaching they get from observing a strong woman state what she wants and will not put up with and who will be looking for lots of inconsistencies in his character so if he's not what shes looking for, she'll dump him.

I actually had that kind of talk on first face to face meet ups with guys that I met on dating sites. I laid it all out and told them, this is truly who I am, what I need and want and if you feel right now that you can not be or are not the type of guy i am looking for, then i am fine with you saying so and just walking away. If you are toying with me and I begin to see inconsistencies in your character and who you say you are, your morals, your priorities, etc... and it doesnt fit what i like, then i will break it off.

Most men admired that. There were two who said they were on board but in the 2nd or 3rd date i caught each of them in a lie. So when I confronted them, they got angry. I wasn't angry just stating that i would no longer see them and date them because of the lies and that pissed them off that they couldn't get away with it. I wish you the best in the future with finding Mr Right. If you come up with any specific question on this process, just write me any time. If its pertaining a guy you've interacted with, its best if I know exactly what he said, you said and what was happening at the time so keep notes right after a confrontation, bad event and try to keep the convo as accurate if relaying back to me to ask help. Best wishes.

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HI ..its me...you answered my question about my classmate/crush rejecting me ...like i said i removed him from my friends on fb bc it hurt me really bad and i told him in person i dont wanna be friends because of it...and he said it was ok.but since i told him i feel much worse, he sent me friend request on fb but i didnt accept it, but after month of not talking to each other i want to accept it and i also wanna write him on piece of paper (like i also did when i confessed my feeling to him)how i feel, and why i exactly did it because when i was telling him why i removed him from friends i was nervous and i didnt tell him everything, so now i want explain it to him by writing it to the paper , dont you think it would be weird ?,i guess i will be friends with him, because when i dont talk to him and ignor him it hurts me much worse...i also want include that im sad and that i may seem happy its not true.. (because i laugh loudly in class but inside im very depressed..i dont know why i laugh) do you think it would be weird if i confide in him that im sad/depressed??...and im depressed bc i feel like nobody in my class likes me..and because my older brother always calls me fat everyday!!!and im nt that fat.. it really depresses me..and also i have twin brother, we go to same class..and he has gf but he doesnt told me..i see him everyday with girl at hall in school, he always secretly call with someone , he removed me from friends on fb so i wouldnt know what pictures he post with her i guess, and once he told me i should mind my own business and it hurt so much bc im his twin, he doesnt confide in with me, i cannot event touch him, my older brother doesnt even have me among facebook friends...also there would be one in my class who would i kinda like and he kind of gave me signals that he likes me too i guess, but then i found he has gf..why every boy i like doesnt like me??

You have a lot in this message. I will go with what I see the most important to address. It is a good thing that you feel the need to share how you are feeling inside but the person whom you have chosen is no more equipped to handle helping you in a way that is professional enough to really help you.

So telling him how sad or depressed you are will accomplish the following: burden him with something he doesn't know how to handle, cause him to worry about you trying suicide (I've read lots of teens burdoned with trying to help classmates who want to commit suicide and feeling that its only their responsibility to prevent it) telling can cause not just him but others to shun you even more.

Think a moment if you are attracted to wanting to befriend the kids who wont look you in the eye, look lonely and depressed, have social issues or depression, the outcasts...so to speak.
I was a social anxiety ridden teen and tho I had a few friends, never had a boyfriend in HS and was not popular at all. Its hard to want to be friends with someone who seems boring, really shy, or depressed and I fell into that catagory. Even I back then, didn't want to befriend someone else as bad off as me or worse off. I had enough handling my own crap. Most teens are not self assured and aren't until later in life, always worried about being accepted and liked. Teen hood is a most difficult time to get thru but now that I am much older looking back, I would say that the closer a person got to age 30, they weren't as picky or seeing me as someone not worth knowing.
Self confidence is the key to being attractive to others wanting you as their friend and you also can't really be depressed for long if you have a good solid self confidence. People pick up on it like a radio picks up radio waves, you don't see a tangible thing but they know its there and like it. In fact, adult males in tests done gravitated more toward the self confident average looking or plain looking females than toward the model types who had no self confidence.
And that would bring me to your last question wondering why every boy you like doesnt like you the same way. Well in HS, boys just aren't mature yet, still acting for the most part like little boys but with raging hormones so they really don't want the friendship or romance as much as they want to practice flirting, kissing and get sex. They also do not know what they really want yet and what they think they may like and go after now is not what they are going to want to marry someday if they are the marrying type. The same actually goes for girls too at that age, not really understanding themselves well enough to know what they want and what kind of guy is best for them. Do we really need the practice of dating while in our teens to be good at dating when older? NOt at all! So while you may feel left out, you can't force someone else to like you.
Where this leaves you is needing someone local who can give you the time to help you work thru your depression. Only clinical depression seems to require meds. But depression that comes and gos due to events in life that are too much for us at the time, is a periodical type that c an be fixed without needing meds. You may want to talk to a school counselor and see if they have recommendations for someone to work with you.
I do know a list of things that help boost the neuro transmitters which keep us happy and when these get too low, its means the level of neuro transmitters is depressed, another word for too low or run out of basically. If you are interested in doing the things on this list, it may help you boost your levels and come out of depression. If not, then you'd need to see a Dr. and I recommend the kind who looks at all types of treatment not just medicine ones cus the other types, like one called CBT cognitive behavioral therapy seems to work better than even meds on some of the toughest patients. If you want my list of things to do to boost your neuro transmitters, let me know and I will send to you.

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Hi all, 28/F... this might be the silliest question I've ever asked, but I just need some reassurance, I guess.

So, it's a long story, but I rescued a cat a few months ago, and she gave birth to the most adorable kittens of my life. I tried not to get too attached, but it was really inevitable. Mama cat is super attached to me, so her kittens followed suit. I basically only know how to live and treat others out of love - that is the core of my existence. As I type, one of the kittens has climbed onto my lap, licked my nose, and purred herself to sleep...

It took absolutely no effort to enlist friends to adopt these sweet babies. One of them is coming to get her little guy this weekend, in fact.
Logically, I KNOW they're going to good humans who will love and spoil the crap out of them, but I'm really having a hard time preparing to let go. I was literally sitting next to mom petting her forehead as she gave birth to these guys two months ago. I knew I'd have trouble, but I don't think I thought it would be this upsetting. One of them is staying until December because of timing and location issues, but everyone else is leaving this month (except mama cat. She's staying.)
Honestly, the only reason (aside from my friends deserving sweet fluffballs to nuzzle) I'm giving them away is that six cats is kinda too many. If I could have my way as I'm thinking right now, I'd keep the one in my lap. She even (almost) gets along with my 8-year-old female, who does not get along with mama cat... at all.
There's a super-slim chance that the person adopting the baby I want to keep could be talked into adopting mom instead, but that really doesn't seem fair. But is it fair to stick my older cat with an adult female she doesn't get along with?
I don't know what to do. Please help me. Any and all advice is welcome....

Babies of almost any animal kind are more easily accepted by adult animals of the same kind. Or as you may have seen in lots of cute Facebook video's, accepted and adopted by animals of a totally different kind. I guess the adult animals must not see the young ones as a threat.

So your idea of keeping the kitten whom the 8 yr old cat seems to tolerate is a good idea but then you'd need to get a home for the mom cat.

Keep in mind that kittens are only kitten-like for about a year and after that they're an adult cat. So along that vein, if the 2 older ones get along, then it may be best not to keep the kitten.

Then lastly, after watching a daughter whom ALL cats seemed to like, there were certain cats we've had that developed a closer bond with my daughter than the other cats who simply liked her.

It is hard and expensive to have too many pets, so if you've thought about expenses and decided to stick with two, then of all the three, kitten included, which one do you have the closest bond with, not which do you like best but which cat/kitten seems to truly consider you its best friend and make a point of keeping that one and then decide which of the other two stays and goes.

I know its not easy but hopefully it will work out for you.

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So before class i texted my friend to see where she was so we could sit beside each other about 15 mins later she replied and said she came late to class so i told her i'll hang with her after class, then as soon as class ended, her and her friends basically bolted out the door and when i texted her asking her where did she go?, she didnt respond i even double texted her and she didng respond and before you say maybe she didnt get it or was busy, first of all her phone is always in her hand, second of all she still hasnt texted me back at all, she usually really only texts me to hangout at school when her other friends are busy, i don't really have any friends at this new school because the friends i did make our schedules to match up so i never see them and since its a university unless you made some friends in class you will always be sitting beside someone new, i know i shouldnt be this bothered that she did this to me, but i am because shes the only person i hangout with on mondays, i have another friend to hangout with on tuesdays etc anyways this was more of a rant than a question and it probably doesnt even make any sense

Oh it made plenty of sense. It must feel like a personal blow to you that she avoids you like that, pretends to be a friend, is two faced, and then on top of it, uses you only if anyone else isn't available to hang with. I've never been to a Univ. so I am not sure how it works with classes but there has to be a way to meet and make friends and not just in class. It might help to join a couple clubs at school. Then of those new friends, find those who may have the same class or have the same free time between class. Hope things get better for you.

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Anytime my boyfriend sucks and romance my breast pains is what i feel for a week or two.

Most women with something like breast cancer from what I have read, did not even know they had it til an exam as there wasn't any pain or discomfort, only lumps that were not the lumps of milk ducts in the breast. So it is highly unlikely that it is something serious.

Now you could have gained some kind of infection if the skin of the nipple was cracked or torn at any point and any germs present in his mouth at the time were tranfered to and entered the breast. I would say this would take needing a Dr. to check out and possibly meds to get rid of infection.

Most likely tho, is that he has been too rough. Think back when your breasts started growing and how tender and sore they felt if pressed up against the table or anything else bumped against them. The breasts are a sensitive area, even after done growing. Maybe not as sensitive but they can't handle rough behavior like constant hard squeezing. If your bf grabbed it hard once but never again, the soreness, like a bruise on your leg would go away in time. But if he continually handles you this way, it doesnt get a chance to recover and though you may not see a bruise on the skin on the outside, I can tell you there have been times when I still felt sore on the inside. Hard sucking will do the same.

My suggestion is that you start communicating with him about the fact that your breast feel sore. Do not ever accuse any lover of doing something wrong however because in making love, it is not so much a fact that someone is doing something wrong rather than not knowing what works right for you. Each person you'll ever be sexual with will be another totally different discovery. And what worked for a past lover doesn't necessarily work for the next one. So it is important to commmunicate well.
You might say, "Hey my breasts are sore. Not sure what from but for now could you skip playing with them and sucking them so I can see if it goes away?" Thats all you have to say. If the pain doesnt go away in the time it takes to recover from bruising, which depending on the individual and how severe the bruising can be days to even a few weeks. So in two more weeks of him not touching you there, if still sore, go see a Dr.

If the soreness goes away, then boyfriend was too rough. If this is the case, heres how you present it to him without hurting his feelings....
"I love when you play with my breasts. Its special to me. But since we took that break of touching them, the pain I had went away, go perhaps it was a bit too rough for me. I'd like to explore different ways we can do this without it hurting so we both can enjoy this. You try something and if I like it, I'll tell you so. If it hurts, I'll ask you to try something different instead."

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So, I am dealing (and suffering) with this inane issue with the amount of humility I hold.

I tend to think of every single girl (no matter if they're considered "ugly") as prettier and more beautiful than I. And it's truthfully affecting my self-esteem more than any one person could ever imagine. It's not just affecting my self-esteem; it affects me working towards my full potential. I'm super humble about everything - my looks, my personality, my potential - just everything.

What I'm asking is how I could ever "tone down" on my humility? The one thing I'm attempting right now is to continue to telling myself the reason why I see myself so poorly is because of my beyond crazy humility. But what else could I do to solve this issue?

Thank you!

Lets see if I can help you sort this out. I will take your description 'humility' and since you feel you are at an extreme in that, lets look at the opposite meanings, the antonyms.
In dictionarys on the net, the opposite is listed as: pride, pridefulness, conceit, conceitedness and vanity. Taking 'conceited' and looking up the meaning from dictionarys on the net: characteristic of false pride; having an exaggerated sense of self-importance.
Okay, I think we can figure out without a dictionary that self-importance is having a big ego,feeling that you are better than everyone else. But if theres false pride, then what is real pride and will it give you answers?

I hope so. Heres what pride is: a feeling of self-respect and personal worth, and satisfaction with your achievements. Though I think some of your confusion may come in from other not as nice translations of pride, which dictionarys list under the word pride. So there is a good pride and a bad pride. In fear of being found to have a bad type of pride, often people will swing to the extreme opposite. I would hope you agree with me that neither one extreme or the other is the right place to be. That must mean there is some middle ground, a place of balance that can be sought. So the question is, what does it look like and how can it be found as I believe that is what you are looking for.

Perhaps I can help as I used to be at pretty much the place you are at. What you are doing, stating what the problem is, is step one, but it isnt the solution. Believe me, your subconscious mind is soaking up everything you think and everything you say. Its like a child inside you wanting to please you and so whatever you do focus most on is what your subconscious may believe to be important to you, as a good thing rather than a bad so ones subconscious will force you to take actions, or inactions, and think and state things that are what the subconscious beleives in its simplistic thinking that must be good. So to state you are over humble is translated as "I like being overly humble and want to continue to stay that way".
I found that the average human has distorted or negative thoughts all day long. In fact, I couldn't go an hour without having at least a dozen of them. In themselves, if we don't take the thoughts so seriously or dwell on them, it doesnt end up harmful to us. But many have found their fears come true simply because of the power of thought to be able to create. There are many top business people and authors who have learned that it helps in business such as those who spout, Think it and you will grow rich. Theres a bit more to it tho.
You are correct that self esteem is suffering here.
So I did a couple things, adjust my thinking of the view of pride vs humility and the other, a simple fun exercise to gain self confidence. Its lack of confidence and negative thoughts that will actually trap you where you are right now.

Okay first, the thinking: Society has always taught us from the cradle on that there is always some bigger and better, new, improved and that we should never be okay with 'average'. So it isn't always that we caused ourselves to end up there, society kinda molded us and pushed us in that direction.Where there is a problem is in failure to explain that bigger, better, new and improved doesn't apply to everyone.
What this meant for me is that I could no longer play a follower and simply beleive what I was told and just copy everyone else. Ayurvedic medicine claims there are a handful of different body types and accordingly what we ingest and the amount of exercise needed is not going to be the same for everyone. Each person is that different in body types. This makes it hard for traditional medicine to treat all with the same band-aid solution or prescription for example. And that is just body type from skeletal build to every cell in the body. That doesnt even count a persons unique traits, talents and personality.
So if you catch yourself every time you feel someone is better at something than you or prettier than you, you need to immediately counteract that with the positive thought like: I might think she looks prettier than me, but her straight hair and blue eyes don't mean shes prettier just because I have red hair and hazel eyes. Everyone has personal taste and not all men are going to like or even be attracted to blue eyes straight haired blondes. Some men are drawn to red hair and freckles. Hey I had the freckles thing reinforced when I created a red haired freckled avatar inside a game and a male asked my avi to dance with him and told me he had a thing for women with freckles. So are freckles really ugly? No, just different. The thing keep telling yourself is that there is no such thing as you being the kind of woman no man will ever look at, cus you don't measure up to being like everyone else. Just keep replacing your negative thoughts with the positive ones.
Now for a fun exercise I read about in a woman's magazine long ago. The context in which they were doing it and the reason for it was a bit different but I realized then and there it should work for what I needed.
Do you have one thing about you that you can somewhat, even slightly compare to a female celebrity? I used my eyes and compared them to an actress I felt was beautiful and confident. My eyes are not a dead ringer for hers, but her eyes came closest to mine where I feel mine are somewhat deep set and very expressive. Then everytime you leave the house, everytime you enter a room of people, another building, anywhere, the s tore, the Drs. office, the park...as you go kept pasting a picture in your mind of you actually looking like that celebrity and turning heads the same way she would. It takes some dedication to be doing this every couple of minutes, reposting this image in your mind. Then tell yourself, you will walk and act and talk just like her. This may seem counter productive but wait....
Within a few days, I started getting compliments from complete strangers, both men and women on how pretty or beautiful my eyes were. I actually hadn't worn makeup on most those occasions so it wasn't that. I had done nothing different other than how I thought or pictured myself. So what exactly changed that made Lots of people notice my eyes, just my eyes, no comments on anything else...it wasn't a visual difference. They were picking up on something invisible, my self confidence that my eyes were pretty. This is the same as what happens when a person believes no one wants to talk to them and they walk around looking at the floor. People can able to pick up and sense things as if they were like radio waves, able to tune into them and thats what they picked up on, how I felt about my eyes, not what they actually looked like. I did this until I felt fully confident in the fact that I had learned that beauty or attractiveness even as just a friend, is not what I look like or the extent of my talents but in how I think about myself. So borrow a celebritys self confidence until you have had enough success at being complimented and sought after for your opinions and talents. It wouldn't be healthy to imagine to be someone else for the rest of your life, only until you have experienced enough attention to kickstart you into having your own confidence.

I hope this all has helped you.

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he doesn't want me, nor like me like that yet, because I had asked him out a while back but we never went out.....and from that day forward he'd still pick on me etc...well I dug around/did some research and found out he is engaged a kid yet, he told me he was single with no kids, but later down the road he admitted he had a kid, but I still said nothing about his fiancée...well, ive known about his fiancée for about a year now, but I never said anything to him. I know he never asked me out which is fine, but to withhold that info is strange and unnecessary, unless he had/has something up his sleeve.

well he still comes up behind me randomly and says BOO! while staring at me...or he'll massage me while im in the breakroom, walk with me back to the office (we do not work together)we are both in the same building though,....I told him we are just friends and that was his decision to be just friends and he goes, that's all we are..i said yes.....and then he says don't let that get u down, while smirkin...I said what the f...you are a fukktard....and I walked away ..and he came by my office that same day and just stared at me, so I asked him, can I help you, he said nothing but kept staring and walked away..... why are random men such fukktards and play so many dumbazz, pointless games...

Im thinkin he is "stickin around" because he wants too screw me...even though that'll never happen..my sister said i am a home wrecker because I play around with him daily and he touches me randomly on my shoulder or he'll poke me etc...now ive never had sex with him, even though that is what he wants, he admitted that...but that'll never happen..while ive known this info for quite sometime, do you think I should pull him to the side and tell him I know he has a finance or say I heard you had a fiancée is that true...and proceed from there or say nothing at all.

This sounds suspiciously like one I answered before but you may be a new questioner. I want you to ask yourself a question and answer it and you just may have the answers you want to make some sense here.

The question: If I am not willing to be his booty call, then why do I allow him to act like, talk like and touch me like a male who does have those rights because we are a committed couple??????

He may be an adult but he may have been raised by parents who let him do whatever he wanted. So if by chance he is raised to believe that instead of no means no, that no means If I push hard enough and am persistant enough, i'll get a yes or get what I want. Some people are like this cus of their own choice or parents who inadvertantly trained them to be this way. Its not going to change any time soon if ever in the near future or in his lifetime. He just may be stuck in that cycle. So if this is the best anyone can expect from him and you don't like it, why is he still coming after you flirting and hanging around at work?
I am in my fifties and have enough life experience with guys to know that at least the undesirable men tend to go after the females they know they can control or bully or get their way with. They really aren't much into doing a battle and fighting hard to convince a gal to allow him periodically into their lives for some fun from consistant flirting and trying to get into their pants. These guys want simple and uncomplicated. You so far have made it easy by letting it go so far without saying the right things. I know you have spoken to him but evidently, what you are saying is not strong enough to put him in his place and scare him silly. If you do somehow get the balls to confront him once and for all in the RIght way, it is also likely that he won't take you seriously.
If he's like the brat child the parents couldn't or wouldn't control that I suspect he is, then when given an ultimatum, he beleives everyone will back down if he dares to cross the line or boundaries that you give him. Its a test. Yes, it is a Test to see if you will back up your words, your ultimatum with action.
I also beleive the reason you won't do that to him is because you truly are very interested in him and want him to be your 'one woman man'. I don't think he is that from what you've shared. Single with a kid? And not divorced? The kid then came from sex with a female he wasn't very committed to. At least, thats my reasoning. there may be other factors.

But that combined with how he's coming after you just spells bad news dear. He IS a player looking to find a new sex partner and trying to do it in a way that he thinks doesnt make him look like a skirt chaser and so far, he thinks it has worked on you. So my advice is Yes!!!!! Confront the man, asap!!!!
He has already gotten away with sexual harassment on the job because you've done nothing. Touching you for neck rubs can be innocent but more often it is used for this reason as a way to merely "appear" an innocent act when in reality he has a lot more on his mind when it concerns you. In general, if a woman is very good with her womens intuition, it isn't hard at all to almost be a mans mind reader, thats how simple they are to figure out most times. Your radar can pick up if something is intentional on his part or accidental. I have moved quickly in public or a guy I don't know has and his elbow or arm brushes against my chest accidently. And they are horrified and apologetic but I was able to sense it was unintentional and it is the only time it happens.
So, right now, he could lose his job for sexual harassment. In some cases, it doesnt need to involve touching at all and it depends on what he is saying or doing. Most guys aren't stupid, they will try to make it all look subtle. If you truly want this all to stop...heres' How to confront him. "I want you to realize that I've finally grown some balls to confront you about this. Yeah, I asked you out once because I liked you. I dont know why I put up with it so long but your massages, and flirting and dogging me all over the building and if you can't manage to run into me, you come by my office to just stare at me. I know my rights and this is clearly sexual harassment. So I am going to ask you to stop it all. You may be civil and say hi in passing but I see no reason for conversations other than work related and since we don't work in the same departments, that it not a requirement ever.
If you had wanted to date me and are truly free to date me, I might have been interested, but even if we were a couple, in order to not cause trouble like losing our jobs, I would not be okay with PDA's with my guy at work.
As far as I have been able to determine some time ago, you are engaged and have a fiancee so if this is true, I don't want to be your fun on the side.
At this point, if you are truly interested in me, and do not have a fiancee, then you will have to prove it to me. If you take this as a personal offense, then you definitely are not the guy for me. I would expect you to introduce me to your parents, your siblings, other relatives and your friends as your girlfriend. I am sure if there is a real fiancee, your parents would be asking what happened to your fiancee and why you're now with me. Clear your name with me if you want to date me. Otherwise, if I were you, I'd bug off right now or you'll be sorry that you ever thought to play around with me. I am stronger than you think.


Okay, well those are the words I'd use if it were me facing this. You have to come awfully close to those kinds of words to get any where with him. You must believe that everyone tells the truth when asked a question cus if the only thing you were gonna say is, I heard a year ago that you have a fiancee and you need to do some explaining as to why you're chasing me instead." It is too easy for him to say, I never was engaged, that is just a rumor started by so and so, or he could say, yeah, I was engaged but we broke it off, she hsd cold feet about it. It could be true but its also a 50/50 chance that it is all lies. So you have to do something other than ask if he's engaged.

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OKAY DONT PANIC, I just call him little brother. Not literally don't worry.

Now here're the facts:
-He's 3 years younger than me and we're both teens
-We've both done very sexual things
-We're both bisexual males, in that we've liked both girls and guys romantically.

Okay, it all started when we were both young, we met and became good friends. When we grew up, we experienced different things, he told me about it, and I told him about mine. When he and his boyfriend broke up I was the one to console him and after a year from the break up, here we are.

Now here's the problem. I've had relationships with guys before, and before they were my boyfriends, they were first my "little bros", I know, I sound like a predator. But the problem is, these guys get too attracted to me, and in fear I'd lose our friendships, I just accept them, but of course it wouldn't end well.

Now I don't want this one to get lost too. So I want him to stay my little brother. But he is too hot... Like, I'm being serious when I tell you I've tried to find a flaw in his face and body and I swear, not one. I've been trying to push my carnal desires deep down, but he's too provocative. He keeps sending me topless pictures asking "do I look fat?" or similar stuff in a non-narcissistic manner. Non-narcissistic in the sense that I never give him the glory of positive reinforcement, and he still constantly sends them.

I really don't think I could hold my hormones down, and I know it sounds like I'm a bad person and maybe I am, but I genuinely like him cause he's honestly my best friend, and I dont want this relationship to end.

Please don't push that I'm a bad person or a pervert or whatever, I've been getting a lot from my friends already. THANKS A LOT :)

3 yrs younger is not relevant as a fact until ages are provided. Teens range from 12-13 to 19-20 as far as hormonally growing and some being early or late bloomers. But if talking legal stuff, then depending on where you live, it's generally between 16 to 18, a person is considered able to give consent for sex. When one is considered an adult though is 18.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_of_consent_in_North_America

So if you are recently turned 18, and have sex with anyone, girl or guy younger than you, doesn't matter how much younger, just one not 18 yet, then you'd be commiting statutory rape. Please read the link to Wikipedias definition of the many types of situations that fall under this title.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Statutory_rape

Statutory rape laws presume coercion, because a minor or mentally handicapped adult is legally incapable of giving consent to the act. That is how the law is written. I know most young teens would say, "But I know what I am doing and I am fully able to decide to want and have sex." True but they would be doing so while their body may be mature but scientific data says that the frontal part of the brain crucial for decision making isn't fully mature until the mid 20's. In light of that, I find it generous that law allows an 18 yr old to be considered mature enough to decide on sex for himself. Anyone younger is still considered under their parents care unless an 'emancipated teen' and the parents make the decisions for the child.

Now with the legalities out of the way, we're just down to talking about ones desires. I am an older adult and I can tell you that over a lifetime, from experience, you will find yourself sexually attracted to plenty of people, even if you are dating or married or have plenty of partners. It is not neccesarily the fact of having gone without and feeling the need. Our bodies are wired to have this instinct rear its head at any given point in time and not always in good timing or perfect situations. We as humans are also born having an ability to curb our desires, use some adult restraint. If we didn't, life would be crazy not to mention extremely complicated. It is the same restraint we use when we need something food or clothing wise or larger and don't have the money for it yet so its either steal it or wait until the right time to purchase.

It is bad to have such close feelings fora friend, where you both emotionally are there for each other. Hey I had that with girlfriends when I as a female was young but back then no one was talking about nor where there any actively open gay teens. Funny but no matter how close best friends got, there never was the sexual desire for each other.

While 3 yrs isn't a big deal once we are older and adults, during teens years, sometimes a few yrs is closer to a generation gap as far as how mature mentally people are. So if you have never had a relationship with someone your age or older and its always younger, that very fact will make you look suspicious even if you are not consciously planning anything bad. So I can see why your friends would comment.
Just giving you some ideas as to why you may be getting opposition and the reactions you do.

So also, a psychologist looking at your situation might wonder why you are drawn to only younger males (if that is the case) It comes down to perhaps your being more at their level mentally and better able to relate with them in which case, that is perfectly normal. If drawn to younger guys only for sex and not close friendship first, then yes, you could be seen as guilt of COAM, corruption of a minor according to statutory rape laws.
I sense with you that is not your intent.
Right now its about relationships and enjoying sex with people you really care about. To have developed such strong feelings as love isn't even odd. But one must realize that teen love doesn't last into the rest of your entire lifetime. Even many married in their twenties end up not together for life with divorcing and getting new partners later. Teen love while it can be intense, is not mature and knowledgeable enough to last very long. I think you already know about the life of a relationship having had them with guys before. Its just that this time you feel its different due to the stronger feelings. Well, it may last longer but I guarantee that the guys you both are today will not resemble who you are at HS graduation or at college graduation or later. This is a time up to our mid 20's when our brain finally is mature, that we tend to change and grow as people, more thsn just maturity but in our character, personality and all our likes and dislikes and I know from experience that girlfriends I was close to in school, I have absolutely nothing in common with as adults other than we're both mothers and married. And yet back in the past, I could not imagine ever not having these girlfriends in my life for a lifetime. That is life dear and we all do change that much. So even right now, you can not predict that anything could really come of this relationship that would last a life time.
If you want to keep him as a best friend, at least during HS, I would ask him to stop sending the photos and ask him if he feels he can be just your friend and not your lover. If he feels he cant exercise self control, then most likely, you both will end up having sex and the relationship will at some point end like the others. I know as a teen, I was fairly mature, more so than my peers but comparing to where I am now, I was very naive and and lacking knowledge and experience and those things count greatly in ones life. Makes me wish I could go back in time to a younger age while retaining all the maturity and knowledge I've gained in life. It would be a blast instead of an angst driven teen life.

Your fear that you might lose them may have some truth to it, as it is entirely possible to lose these male friends who start being sexually attracted to you. If you resisted the sexual part of the relationship, They may see it as you not feeling the same way about them, rather than trying to preserve the relationship. When its two adults, and not teens we're talking about, I always prefer sharing that the truth is the most stable rewarding relationships are the ones that are not just sexual only or the emotional needs met thru the friendship part but a combo of both. It takes having the friendship first and then as you fall more for each other, then you add the sexual part.

As teens, you don't have much options, and starting a life long relationship of that magnitude is pretty much unheard of for teens, it is that rare. Not saying its not possible as there as always exceptions, just that i wouldn't put too much hope in you and he being the exception.

Sexual addiction? No, at this point I don't think so, this is more of teen exploring and learning of relationships and sex. But for in your future, no matter what your sexual orientation may be at that time, if ever your engagements in sex are so much that they totally interfere with school, work, chores, etc.. all the non sexual but important parts of our day and our responsiblities, at that point its a sexual addiction and you may want to see a Dr. and get into a treatment plan for sexual addiction before it ruins your life.

It could be that simply because your friend knows that you are bi that he has decided he is too whether he really is or not. I have had profoundly deep feelings with friends in the past where I can experience a true feeling of love in my heart that hits strong at times for a person but without having a sexual desire for them. I am sharing this because I find too many young people these days assume both are one and the same. There are other forms of love as deep as the one for ones mate/partner, and family or friends can feel the same. You love your mom and dad right? But if you are normal, you don't have sexual desires for them. I know that teens can tell what their sexual orientation is but in many cases, I have learned it was more of a profound "friend" love, deeper than what is felt with other friends and this feeling is what has a person believing they are bi-sexual. Not all may be as sure as you are that you are bi sexual.
I've had enough friends thru life of all sorts of sexual orientations that i feel I can share all this with truth to it. I am just sharing what I know from their lives. I've known guys who were friends who were straight but apparently they just had a certain look that seemed to draw all the gay guys out to hit on him. The more people I've known, I have heard this repeated over and over, that there really is a look in a male that is irresistable to other males who are gay or bi. So I can't even be totally sure that either of you are fully bi or gay or hetero. Its only what you've told me but I wanted you to hear this as it may be the reason why so many male friends start wanting more than just friendship with you. They can't ALL be gay or bi. I unless you ask a person first if they are bi or gay before be friending them, I would say its pretty odd that a majority of them all ended up going from friends to lovers. So I don't think that it is something you are doing but simply who you are as far as your looks, your personality and then maybe your pheremones. Pheremones if close to the same is what draws any two people beyond attraction of looks into sex. If missing, basically, kissing a guy to me felt as disgusting or yucky as the thought of kissing my brother or father in a sexual way. However, more teens than not, are unaware of pheremones and often end up with people they have no pheremone connection with. I also call matching pheremones, chemistry together.
I know this is a lot to share but I know you feel fairly troubled but your situation and so there was much to share. My guess is that you will have this phenomena thru out your life if its based on having the looks that attract bi or gay males. that you can't change hon, all you can do is change how you Respond to it. I know of bi men and women whose marriage mates know of and are okay with them having a lover on the side. But it takes having a very understanding partner.
So when you get serious about a life time commitment, if you so choose a lady and want to have kids, it will need to be someone who is very open minded, sexually. And it may help if she is bi herself. Both of you would have to be secure enough to not feel jealousy over having the position you have together feel threatened. Its not for now during teen times but later when adults if you chose to go for the open marriage, or swinging or polyamory. But with rampant sexual diseases, it would be safest for both you and your core partner to only have safe sex and also with the knowledge of your first core partner and with all adults having had and show proof of a sexual disease screening to show they are in the clear. Then be mature enough to never allow yourself to cave in at the moment to temptation of sex with someone as a one night stand for you could be taking disease home to not just one but more partners. I know this is more than you asked for but I sense that for you, this may be a life long deal, being a very sexual person and having the looks that attract, well, both males and females. SO I am only trying to help with some direction and possibilities for the future as I likely won't be in touch with you then to help.

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4 days ago I received a call from my ex at almost 4am. We had reconnected 3 weeks prior and talked on the phone and talked about being back together. I could tell he still had feelings for me. We were both in complicated situations at the time. He has a crazy girlfriend and was laid off and I was in a loveless relationship that ended. He said he wanted us to be together when his life was in order because he didn't want to drag me in to the craziness because I told him I didn't want any drama in my life. We hadn't talked since then. But a few days ago he called me almost at 4am which in all the years ive known him he's never done. I was asleep at the time so I couldn't pick up. The next day I texted him and the message wouldn't deliver as iMessage and instead turned green minutes later. He didn't respond which again has never happened. I called him today (4 days later) and it went straight to voicemail and the same thing happened when I tried to text him again where it wouldn't deliver then sent as text. I'm very concerned, did he block my number or has his phone been off? It would be very unlike him to block my number but i am very worried.

When the human brain lacks information in a situation, the tendency is to make up all sorts of data to fill in the blanks and more often than not, we tend to fill in the blanks with the worst possible. You have no need to worry until you know everything.
Good for you in insisting for no drama in your life. Apparently, there is drama still in his or he'd be getting back with you.
Now if it makes you feel any better, heres a list of possibilities which may not be true at all. If it were me, i'd be knocking on his door when the gf isn't there or leaving messages with any of his male buddies, freinds or even family to call and let you know he's okay.

A call at 4 am could mean he was in a bad spot at the time and needed to hear your voice to be cheered up. But it could just as easily mean that he was offered a last minute job out of town for a short period of time and won't have time to chat and he only remembered just then or woke from a dream remembering. Perhaps he would be so busy he didn't need to bring the phone which would be a distraction and left it on purpose at home or he make have intended to take but forgot it. That's the only way he wouldn't be able to answer unless his phone died on him and he doesn't have the money to replace it right now.

I highly doubt he has blocked your number. He'd have to be one crazy dude not on medication to do something like get together and say he wants to get back together, then 3 weeks later when you don't answer a 4AM call, blocks you??? That is not the action of a sane person and I bet you know that. I suppose it would be easier tho knowing he blocked you and that he is okay. But it sounds like there isn't much you can do. Since he wants to get back with you, it's just a matter of time until whatever is preventing him from calling is no longer doing so and you will hear from him. It's easy to say to not worry in c ase something did really happen to him. If that was the case and it's already too late to help him, then your worry isn't going to change that fact. But in all the times my husband or I worried when we could reach the other it has never been something terrible that happened to either myself or hisself. It has always been problems with iphones, one out of energy or the other malfunctioning, and the service being crappy right at the moment we need it to work. Messages periodically don't go through. We seem to still get only 1 out of 10 mssgs instantly and the others show up the next day or day 1/2 and we have VERIZON. We also are not out in the boonies but a big city with lots of cell access so location in making calls doesn't count as an issue. I would try to leave mssgs with mutual people you both know and whom you trust to keep things quiet with the crazy lady, and see what happens. And you can always pray and ask his angels to watch over him and bring him safely back to you.

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Hi, I'm currently doing coursework for Media and I have to do a survey on people persuing careers in the Creative Industries. It would mean the world to me if you could help me out a little (I only have 2 responses so far). You don't have to put in anything personal - apart from some of you interests and opinions - and it's all anonymous.

Thank you so much for your time :)

https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/KW5DJ8C

HI, I wanted to help and since I didn't follow a creative career myself, I filled one out with what is true for my daughter in law, My 2nd husbands daughter. I watched all the hoops she jumped thru to even get into the college named Digi pen. Its the best CG, computer graphics college in the US and you have to get invited to it and then still pass all sorts of tests the summer before you start. The class requirements are so hard that half students drop out. A good many students get to work on projects not related to school but where computer game producers will go to get a new game created for cheap, just the students time and energy going into it so they have some prior experience before they graduate. SHe worked on several projects like that and won awards. She is they type of person who is not shy;, a real go getter. So where is she today after graduating? She has not been able to find a job related to her fancy degree and she still tries at times but she has grabbed anything she can get just to make the payment of her school loan cus we're unable to help being homeless.
She has worked in a nursery daycare, with a tattoo artist, and other miscellaneous jobs all none related to her degree. She even considered going into the army to get retraining for something else. Instead she met a military guy and married him and they will be traveling to whereever he gets stationed soon in another country. Perhaps she'll find work there.
I just wanted you to have the 'After" picture as well to a survey on persuing such a career as it helps to fill out the picture. Pursuing your hearts desire for a career is fine as long as you have a good chance at finding a job related to your degree, even remotely. and a good salary as well, She hasn't gotten either. Only earning enough to pay her big school loan payments.

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So my whole life Ive been taught that the Ouija Board is not a toy, and I understand enough to the point that I dont even want to to touch or be near one, but I'm sort of curious and I kind of want to try it.... My friend says that to close whatever you've opened, you have to say goodbye, which I still think is bull, but he was raised on the same paranormal things I was.. He wants to use one on Halloween.. Is this true that you CAN control it and close anything you've opened to prevent a mess? Is there any other precautions you can take to ensure your safety? Or is it best, as always to follow my instinct and what my mother's taught me and keep away from it like always? I'm itching to scare myself this year, and do something dumb, but I dont want anything, especially that isn't human or that is negative/malevolent, getting attached to me.. Thank you in advance..

Ouija boards may be a toy for some and a serious matter for others. Since you've already heard its a toy and harmless, let me explain further why it can be harmless or why it could be hurtful.

When dabbling in ghost work, the paranormal, even innocent spellwork or modern day witches, wiccans, pagans..... it is the intent behind what you are seeking, that makes the difference, not the object itself that has special powers. Therefore, besides Ouija boards, people have found other devices to work well for them as well like Tarot Cards, use of candles and ribbons and such for spells,pendulums, divining rods, etc....

I am not talking about Satanic clubs as that is obviously something to s tay away from. But average people who believe in earth bound religions, many of them may do spell work and such but with doing that comes the responsibility to protect yourself as well. They do believe in Jesus and his angels just not that he is the savior as they beleive in reincarnation for the most part. They beleive there is good and evil and that evil seeks to mess up our lives, ruin things for us, get us off track. So yes, I beleive that a negative energy can attach to a person and that even used in innocense, that a malevolent energy can attach to a person.

I'll share my Ouija story quickly as to why I feel its best to avoid it. I dont know of any pagans who use it as they don't have the same amount of control I guess over the protecting themselves from use of it. My parents met a couple they became friends with when us kids where still small. I was 9 and the others younger. This woman fancied herself to be a psychic but from what I know of a psychic friend and many pagans with similar giftings, this lady had no idea what she was doing and do happened to accidently allow ghossts into her house. She tried making predictions and introduced my family to the Ouija board. Not shortly after, my baby bro. began to have nightly nightmares and be caught sleep walking. My younger siblings still swear they began to see witches in our house and in looking back, I know that all the things that have happened to every single family member has been way over the top as far as bad things happening. I understand in this time and place, the earth is a harsh place to live and a struggle for all but I truly mean 'way over the amount of what is normal and a non oppresive curse or something. Mom and Dad both died early. My brother died early. My youngest sister is so ill she may end up in a wheelchair soon. Ffinancially no one can get ahead. Both sisters have no money to pay bills and hanging by a thread, I am still homeless and so the list goes and it even is affecting all my children and nieces and nephews either financially, mentally, physically. And these kids never had an opportunity to play with Ouija boards. So IF anything attached to our family, it's attack continues on to further generations, unless the permission given to come into ones life even tho not intentional thru the game is revoked, this will continue. I just realized in the last month that bad luck has been intensifying for all us remaining sisters. Vandalism against the van we live in, enjine had to be rebuilt, then two more problems crop up with the van that need work cus it dies on us, and my list goes on to include my husbands health suffering...this is 2nd husband. To emergency with one thing in Jan. and now he is just starting to get over being ill for 6 weeks straight having taken the strongest med but only after Dr. said to come back if the infection comes back a 3rd time. Every other day, something else seems to go wrong. Maybe it wasn't connected to a Ouija board, but if it was, I really don't think it was worth it. Cant say whats gonna help but I will be meeting with a psychic I met years ago and befriended who handles missing persons cases with the police and is well respected. She already has told me that she knows for sure there is something attached to our family, now that I asked her and she will help us with that.

So if you want an innocent fun scare, go to one of those Hauntend Halloween houses but I'd s tay away from Ouija boards unless you personally know how to recognize a bad energy or spirit and know how to get it to leave you or a family alone and move on.
I will say from childhood memory, there is nothing scary about using a Ouija board actually. Two people have their fingertips on the viewer which begins to scoot around the board pointing to letters.
Not a good place to go for questions you want helpful truthful answers to. For question answer, again, one should be able to mentally set up protection around them before doing any divining type of work or spellwork. SO unless you are serious about delving into wicca or some other pagan belief system, its best not to start unless you have someone more seasoned who can teach you along the way.

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Well Barbara cuts hair and I really need a hair cut would that be a good idea

That sounds like a good trade to me.

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My boyfriend of almost two years is a manager at a Walmart. I love him dearly, but lately his job us been creating major bumps in the road. I consistently feel disappointed in the time we spend together. He'll have a shift starting at 7 in the morning and choose to go in at 4 in the morning because it's "easier to do things when people aren't there" and then as soon as he comes home, he sleeps so we have no time together. Speaking of home, he brought up about four months ago the idea of moving in together (we both still currently live with our parents).. I said that I think it's time so i got a few apps and started looking around for apartments while he said well wait to see what my first paycheck at my new job will look like. i got my first paycheck last week and he said nothing, he hasn't been looking at places and he hadn't even started budgeting our incomes (all which he said he would). So I asked him why it seems that I care and I'm so excited for this next step and he said that he "got swept up in other things and pushed looking for an apartment aside." Other things being inventory at work where he's been working 14 hour days for the last five days. We've also fought numerous times about holidays, I'm a preschool teacher so I have weekends and all holidays off and I would appreciate spending holidays with my boyfriend and he said that since his family is in another country and he never got to spend holidays with them, that holidays aren't that important to him so I guess that means that they shouldn't be important to me either. It should be noted that he is Romanian so his entire family except for his mom, still lives there. Then I said that my family means the world to me so holidays are pretty important but lately I haven't been getting along with my dad's side and decided that I don't want to go to their holiday parties this year so with my boyfriend working and me not speaking to the one side of my family, I'll be alone for those holidays and his exact response was that he spent a lot of holidays alone so I can do it too.. Tonight he came to my house after working 7-7:40 (when his store manager specifically told the managers that none of them should stay late and he did, justifying it as he always does by telling me that if it was an hour, he could see me being upset but it was only forty minutes). I was away for the weekend and didn't see him for three days so I was excited for him to actually get out on time and when he text d me that he was leaving late, I was annoyed by that and he came over and was in the worst mood so I asked him why and he raised his voice at me that he's been working 12+ hours for the past four days and still have six more days of it to go so I should just "get off his back for it" - which he later apologized for but it still is s kick to the face. I should preface that he didn't grow up with much, he is an only child to a single mother so his manager job makes him feel accomplished and comfortable having money and not having to live paycheck to paycheck. I'm 22 and he is 24. I just don't know what to do anymore. I tell him countless times that I hate his job, that he should find another one and that him taking his work anger out on me is not fair since I'm not the one that made him take the job. Oh and let me say that he and his store manager get along very well, she interviewed to work at another store at he told me that if she gets the other job and leaves the store they're at now, then he'll get a resume together and look for another job. Like oh, his upset girlfriend isn't enough for him to find another job but his store manager potentially relocating is. I also suffer from panic attacks and lately, I've been having quite a few of varying degrees and I think that him and his job are the root cause to a lot of them. I just feel so alone and I don't know what to do. I don't know if this is normal or maybe I'm just too emotional and too caring because I don't think I see this in any of his other working friends personal relationships. Please just any advice will greatly help me out. He said he's off this coming Thursday and he's going to put a resume together but I just find it so hard to believe him and I don't think that should be present in a committed relationship of almost two years.

You mentioned enough things that got me comparing your story to mine. After a divorce from first husband, I met the guy who'd become my 2nd husband.
We met on a dating site. Originally, his daughter kept at him to start dating as she'd soon be out of school on her own and didnt want to see him lonely or alone. He refused to do so for a couple years mainly because of his job as a delivery driver. Here I beleive there may be differing reasons behind the long hours. In husbands case, his employers worked all their driving staff long hours so yes, he'd be gone by 6 am and not home until 6 if lucky. If deliveries were heavier due to no deliveries on the weekend, or cus it was Nov-Dec and Christmas packages, he'd work until it was done so 14 hour days or more. That was insane. He was not a workaholic. YOur guy kinda sounds like one. You listed a few reason why he may be working so much and it it isn't his managers requiring him to work all the extra he is doing. I think something of his background growing up in a subconscious way is making him choose and act this way and he's on his way to becomeing a workaholic. Its an addiction. He's hooked to the hours of work for whatever he gets out of it, recognition, the money to save up, become more financially stable than it was for him growing up with a single parent. I don't know for sure, but thats what it comes across as to me.

Now on with my comparison. My guy, even tho he felt it would be unfair to meet a lady and then not have time for her, did create a dating profile. He read my profile quite a few times and never wrote, feeling jaded by the many women who already said they were such and such in character and yet they were not at all what he was looking for and certainly were not understanding. He saved a couple responses which I read and agree, they were middle aged drama queens. Finally one day he decided to write, we talked on phone cus it was Monday and talked each night til we met the following weekend. He lived 45 min from where I lived, but actually drove a route in the area I lived and worked so we met during his break on his driving route, not much time there but enough to realize we really wanted to spend more time getting to know each other. Now we were not young any more and the kids we both have are teens for the last and i had two older.
He truly did want to find himself another mate, someone to grow old with, that was his mind set. He wasn't into just having a girlfriend or social dating and moving on to the next. After meeting on the weekend and his daughter approving of me, I drove to his place after work every day cus the depot where the trucks were stored was close to where he lived and as he worked late, it made more sense for me to go see him. However it was just for the evening and since not enough hours, I took to staying overnight and that way we had a few more hours. I think he worked harder to get off even earlier. He no longer has that job, but what I hope to share is that where there is a will or desire, there is always a way. It may not be easy but if two people truly care about each other and have fallen in love it can be done.

To gain even a couple extra hours with him, I moved in with him and it did help gain us a little extra time. But it was quality time together.
In your case, I'm not sure that even living together would make what you both have together become better in quality. Living together today is something people do, even if nt serious about each other. YOur guys sounds kinda two faced. On one hand he supposedly is with you cus he likes you but love isn't just saying the words but proving it thru our actions. His willingness to move in job if the other gal leaves, shows he has no commitment to me. If commitment is what you want dear, he isn't going to magically become that. You may need to leave him, as hard as it sounds. But I dont think you may be ready to do so yet. It took me 20 yrs of abuse from the man I loved but I got strong and brave enough to find myself a better man. Good luck!

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