sunshine1232's advice column

((I'm 15/f))I think i am ready for sex but im not all that sure cause sometimes i think about it and think that i might regret it in the future. I REALLY like this guy tho. Also, I'm kinda scared that it will hurt really bad and i'm scared that i might not know what to do. What do u think?

If you think you'll regret it then you
probably aren't ready there's no law that says a person has to have sex at a certain time plus your
young anyways you don't seem confident about it & you seem unsure and unexperienced so i wouldn't do it if i were you i'd wait until your more mature & you feel one hundred percent confident your ready to have sex(:

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do girls care or think its gross or w/e if a guy mastrobates?

I'm a girl and i don't think it's gross that guys
masterbaute seeing as it's apart of life plus some girls do it also so it isn't like it's abnormal to do so my answer is no(:

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my best friend is going after my ex. i'm sure its ok but i really dont enjoy it. i still like him. and its hurting my feelings. but....... i really dont no how to tell her that.

You need to tell her that going after your ex is
hurting your feelings seeing as you still like him
don't be afraid to tell her she won't know it's bothering you unless you speak up & tell her it isn't ok if it's affecting you but seeing as it is
then no it's not ok if it wasn't affecting you then
it would be ok tell her even though the two of you
are broken up you'd like it if she stopped going after your ex seeing as it's affecting you what she's doing(:

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I was brought up by my dad so I really don't know much about being a girl and I don't really have anyone to ask. How can you tell if you have a yeast infection, and how do you get one?

I'm not a doctor but i looked on a website at some
of the symptoms you'll have some itching and burning
down below some white discharge and swelling you can
get a infection from stress,lack of sleep,poor eating habits,having your period,changes when you've
got your period,taking certain medication,being pregnant,illness are ways you can get one(:

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hey im 16 and im a male, girls.....this one is for you, is a guy being to nice to you a good thing or a bad thing, nice to a point where hes a real gentleman, opening doors for you, wlaking you to the door step, paying for your ticket and maybe sometimes dinner, depends on the occasion, is that a turn on or turn off about a guy, i thought it was a turn on???

It's a turn on him being a real gentlemen proves he
has manners and knows how to treat a girl right with
the respect she deserves so it's a good thing i'm sure most girls would rather have a guy that treats them nicely & not badly the girl will most likey think highly of the guy(:

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Im 18/female and im always geting mad when i see my man talking to other females he has never given me a reason for him to cheat and he keeps telling me he want every time i ask i dont know what to do i know he loves me but i just have a bad jelous problems and i dont know how to change it What do i do to stop being jelous!

Trust your boyfriend if he says that he isn't going
to cheat on you then believe him part of being in a relationship is being able to trust the person your with if he loves you then you've got no reason to be
jealous because he's committed to you & only you if
he keeps telling you that he isn't going to cheat then that's a sign that he won't(:

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17 f. Hey guys so. Me and my best friend we go to a different high school and every since we were in the 6th grade we vowed to go together to prom. So I had this BF who I really cared about and he happens to go to her school. He said he was going to take me. We had everything set when we got into this huge fight and he said a lot of hurt things to me. Like Ex. "I was always embarrased to be seen by you" "you're a who*re " and a lot of other things. So basically he also told me that he wasn't going to take me to prom he was going to take another girl. And he said "I bet you're going to look ridiculous that day" so now I don't know if I should go to their prom. My friend already got me someone to take me and everything. I kind of want to go to show him what he lost. And that day I'm planning on looking gorgeous. He knew how important it was for me and my bff to go together. I even offerd to buy a ticket from him but he said he doesn't wanna help me out and doesn't care. I wanna go to show him that I didn't need him to take me to prom I went without his help. But at the same time I also don't want to becuase I'm thinking he's not worth it. But I feel like I NEED to go becuase then he will be thinking that it was becuase of him that I didn't go. Plus I need to show him how well I can clean up. Haha. So advice? Should I go or not? Wat would you have done? I'm so lost. -michelle , MN

I think you should go you shouldn't allow him to stop you from having a good time & having fun if you don't go then you might end up regretting it &
wishing that you had gone it's his loss because
he didn't have you to go with he ruined it for himself by saying those rude comments to you..you don't need him to have fun you can do that by yourself if you feel like you need to go then do so
listen to yourself it's prom & only happens once in a while you deserve to be treated better & not the way he treated you he clearly proved to you that he doesn't care you don't need him move on & go to prom have a good time you'll probably have a better time without him anyways less stress(:

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I NEED HELP... i HAVE REPEATEDLY ATTEMPTED TO END MY LIFE....I NEED ADVICE,,, I HATE MYLIFE... I FEEL AS IFF U GUYS HAVE TO BE IN MY SHOES TO KNOW EXACTLY WEA IM COMING FROM... ITS NOT EASY LIVING THE LIFE THAT I AM LIVING...... ETC,

Commiting suicide isn't going to help anything it will just make things worst you'll be hurting the
people that love and care for you like your family
and friends think about them they'll be hurt and it isn't worth it to put them through that if you don't like something about your life change whatever your not satisifed with until you are your in control of your life and only you..your the only one that can make the difference there's better ways to solve your problems like talking to someone seeing a therapist it's not healthy to keep what your feeling to yourself it's better to get it all out in the open for others to hear nobody said life was going to be easy it isn't but that doesn't mean to try and end your life when things get tough think about your friends and family and how if you do commit suicide you'll be hurting them it isn't worth it to do that they deserve better(:

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I am a 18 years old girl from Hungary, the guy lives in the USA. I love him more than anything, actually he is my first love. We got to know each other through myspace and we have been talking for more than one year. Now his life is really hard because his mom is ill and he should spend more time with her. And on wednesday he just suddenly told me that he wants to start to work in the mornings too, so we wont be able to talk maybe only in the weekends. (We talk when it is 6 pm for me, thats his morning) It was so sudden and I told him I am sad about it. And he told me that from now he won't be online every day as he used to be and he is free now and he sets me free too. He told me that he is sorry that he choose work instead of me. He and I made sacrifices for this relationship too and I don't know if it was too much pressure for him or he just doesn't want me anymore. I love him and I don't want to lose him, even if he is so far away, I wanna see him someday. It was the happiest period of my life. I was hoping all the time that it can work between us and I don't want to let it go just like this. What should I tell him to let him know that I don't want it to end? or just simply..what should I do now? I am sad.

Things weren't meant to be between you two if he wants to start working in the morning then that's
his choice you can't stop him seeing as it's his life & he can do whatever he pleases his mother is ill and it's not like she's a stranger to him she's his mother his parent i'm sure anyone would to do the same if they were in his situation & it came to their mother it's not like he broke up with you without giving you reasons just because this relationship didn't work out like you would of liked doesn't mean that all hope's lost for other relationships i don't think that he didn't want you anymore it's just that he had responsiblities in his life his mother & work your best option is to move on everything happens for a reason you had no control over what happened what's done is done you can't change what's happened you've got to accept the fact that it's over or risk hurting yourself & becoming even sadder then you already are

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I recently started volunteering at a nursing home because I want some experience since I want to become a nurse.

Well a lot of the residents today weren't particularly well and this elderly gentlemen said something extremely hurtful to me and hurt my feelings. And I'm trying to convince myself that it doesn't matter and stuff but I keep hearing his voice in my head and it's really bothering me.

Help make me feel better?

I'm sure the elderly man didn't purposely mean to hurt your feelings or did it intentionally he's harmless everything happens for a reason & it was one of those things that happened unexpectly which you had no control over it was one of those things that just slipped out he didn't mean to say it if he was one of the residents that weren't well he could of said it for that reason or he was having a bad day if it still bothers you then next time you go back to the nursing home confront the man and tell him what he told you really hurt your feelings & you'd like for him to apologize that way you'll have piece of mind & you'll know that the situation was resolved(:

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so i was dating this boy that i really liked, and i broke up with him. it was a huge mistake like right after i did it i realized that i didnt mean it. He was just acting funny and so many boys have hurt me in the past i was just afraid of the same thing happening again. i felt like he was putting me off. ive tried to talk to him but he is like really mad at me... the problem is he is stubborn, like he wont even listen. we hadnt been going out that long at all but i still liked him. i really want to be with him. so i tried to talk to him on 2 days ago. i didnt talk to him at all on friday, i just wanted him to cool down. i dont know if he'll talk to me again if i dont say anything to him first. what should i do. everyone says that if he doesnt come back or if he doesnt try to talk to me then maybe he really wasnt that into me and i should just let it go. and i will if thats what he wants but like i said he is stubborn and i really dont think thats what he wants. What do i do? i was planning on trying again today (anyone i have talked to has told me to wait for him to talk to me) but that might be a while. or should i wait a few more days or should i just let it go? I dont mind honest answers...or blunt answers i just really need to know what to do. its killing me not to talk to him.

thanks

You made a mistake everyone makes them your only human & not perfect i wouldn't wait a while or a few days try & talk to him right away seeing as you don't know when he's planning on talking to you see what happens tell him you made a mistake & after you ended it you realized you didn't mean it it's not like you purposely meant to hurt him or intentionally did it i wouldn't let it go seeing as it's killing you that your not talking to him make him realize that what you did was a mistake one that you regret & you'd like for him to give you a second chance to prove that your willing to make it work & your attempting trying your best if he doesn't come back or doesn't try talking to you then yes he's probably not worth your time & at that point you should move on but you should give him the benefit of the doubt first & see what happens(:

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Me and my ex had a great relationship,not too long...about 4 months. About6-7 weeks ago he broke up with me and we had obviously spent a lot less time together.We decided to become friends and we hangout almost as much as we did when we were dating.We still have fun and are so happy together and we get a long great.We just obviously don't do sexual things and kissing and all that stuff anymore.. I'm pretty much the only girl that's in his life and i don't think he's talking to any girls and i'm not talking to any guys...mainly because i still have feelings for my ex ..thats why i hangout with him so much. It hurts me to know he only sees me as a friend,but then again ,the occasional flirting happens and just by the way he stares at me makes me feel like deep down theres still something. I'm so accessible though and im always there for him and i feel like half the reason we aren't dating is because at any given moment if he's ready,he feels like ill be there. I can't help it though! i love spending all this time with him because he makes me happy but then knowing it might not ever be more makes me sad.He even told me he hangsout with me more than anyone else and so it's hard to just throw him out of my life. Today is the first time in a few weeks that we got into a fight and basically it was over the fact that i still like him. I got seriously mad over his lack of care toward a certain subject and that's when he ended up screaming " im not your boyfriend anymore ,so don't pick these little fights like i am" and it was my fault because i started the fight and he said he would talk to me later about our fight so i dont know when that will be and havent spoken to him since (it was only a few hours ago) but im wondering if i should just break off my friendship enitrely and maybe he'll realize he misses me? or should i try and have good times for as long as i can? Its a tough decision.I planned on writing him a letter telling him everything and giving it to him before he went to europe over the summer and thats probably in like a month.help!

I wouldn't break off your friendship entirely with
him seeing as if you were to do that you would risk him not being able to talk to you about the fight & you wouldn't be able to resolve the problem yes i think you should try & have good times seeing as you may not get the chance to do so enjoy it while you can everything happens for a reason & the fight was one those things that happened unexpectly which you didn't have any control over writing the letter to him would be a good idea so you can express how you feel to him(:

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well a few weeks ago a friend was going to commit suicide. so me and my bff decided to take her moms car while she was asleep to go to the girls house n make sure she was ok. and this was all at 3am. well my friend crashed the car n we got charged with grand theft auto and were both in hospital for a week n a half. now my mom wont let me see my best friend anymore and its killing me. this girl is like my sister and she didnt mean to crash the car. whether my mom lets me or not, im still gonna see my best friend whenever i can but id rather not be getting in trouble for it. i think its stupid to have to lie but i dont know hhow to convinve my mom to let me see her again. please help, its killing me

You need to sit your mother down & tell her that
what you did what was a mistake it happened unexpectly it was a bad judgement call on both your
part & your friend's but at the time you were concerned about your friend & weren't thinking about
what could happen while you were in the car or afterwards your only human you make mistakes..you could try saying something like that & talking your way out of it but you've got to realize when someone does something wrong they've got to suffer the consequences & by your mother not allowing you
to see your best friend your suffering the conseqences if you can't talk your way out of it then learn from your mistake & deal with the fact
that you can't see your best friend

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When I connect my ipod the computer makes that sound (meaning it recognizes it) and it shows up on my itunes. It syncs automatically but nothing new is added to my ipod. After a little bit the ipod no longer shows up in my itunes. I know its not the cord because it charges fine and is connected to my computer, but it just wont sync anything, even though it says on both the computer and the ipod that it is syncing. This seemed to happen after my dad changed the password on his account the other day. I can still purchase from itunes and sign in though, so I don't know if its related. Please help, I'm so frustrated.

Thanks!

This has happened to me a few times what i did was i
uninstalled iTunes then reinstalled it again or if that doesn't work you could try resetting your ipod by pressing the menu button & the middle one hold it until you see the apple logo appear you could
try researching it online i'm sure other people have
had the same problem as you(:

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i really like this guy alot. And he tells me im gorgous and that he likes me too. Then we went to the movies with me and my best friend. And the next day he ends up liking my best friend instead of me! should i move on? or what should i do?

Yes i do think you should move on you can't do much
if he likes your best friend everything happens for
a reason it was just one of those things that happened unexpectly which you had no control over it's his choice who he likes & doesn't you can't
force him you two weren't meant to be together there's other boys out there i wouldn't waste your time waiting for something that probably won't happen & isn't meant to be you should move on & save
yourself the trouble of waiting & hoping(:

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my best friend really likes this guy, and she never told me that she liked him, so i had no idea! And now she like hates me because, i started liking him. She thinks that i started liking him just to piss her off, and that's not true! How am i supposed to convince her that i had no idea she liked him?

You should tell her that you had no idea that she
liked him if you did then you probably would of backed off her being pissed off at you could of been
avoided if she simply told you that she liked him from the start tell her in reality she has nothing
to be angry about seeing as you did nothing wrong
& you weren't aware that she liked him it's her fault not yours tell her that you don't like him &
you didn't start liking him just to piss her off &
as your best friend she should believe your telling the truth & you weren't lieing to her(:

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I've been having troubles with making friends. I had a lot before. But now they've all turned on me since I started going out with this one guy. They call me a #### ... and they think I "sleep around" .. Which I most certainley dont. And I can't seem to understand why they would say all of these mean things to me. I just want it to all end. What should I do?
Sincerly,
Truly Confused.

I think you should stand up for yourself you should
never allow anyone to call you names & say things that aren't true because only you know the truth you
should confront them & say they need to stop calling
you names and thinking that you sleep around when you don't defend yourself don't allow them to push you around & treat you badly they aren't your friends if they say those things about you & treat you that way you need real friends who will treat you better & who won't say mean things to you deserve to be treated better nobody deserves to be treated that way that's just wrong(:

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so this guy and I have liked each other for a long time. It’s mid-may now, and we’ve been talking almost every day since around december. since i’m a freshman and he’s a junior, we barely talk at school. he’s my brothers best friend (one problem to why it’s hard to like him).
i’m the type of person who always wants to show that she’s the better one - so sometimes i act like i don’t care what he’s saying so i don’t look too eager. but i must admit, he’s always the one carrying on with conversation - but sometimes i get really annoyed with him.
anyways... we’ve liked each other for 5 months and he directly admitted that to me, and i kind of did, in a way, but he knew that i liked him.
this weekend there were a bunch of spanish exchange students who came here and he made out and put his hands down one of their skirts - but what he told me was that they only kissed “because it was a game” but later i found out he lied and i confronted him through text (lame i know, but we had like a 3-day weekend that time). and he said sorry, he didn’t want to hurt me or lose me, and i just was being really mad and stuff.
i really want to forgive him - and for some reason i feel like
a) yes, i should be angry at him because he made me cry so much that night. he betrayed me and asked me to trust him then he lied to me.
b) yes he lied to me, but hes a good person and he wont do it again (i know him). and we weren’t really going out.
so i don’t know which option to choose. i really want him back because we’re not even going out but what we had was really something i don’t want to lose - but i feel like because he lied it just ruins a lot of things.

should i forgive him? should i give it some time so he doesn’t think i give in too easily? what should i do? :(

I think you should forgive him everyone makes mistakes & he isn't perfect yes he lied but he
apologized and said sorry if you truely don't
want to loose him then he give him another chance if
you do then he could prove to you that he won't make
the same mistake twice yes you have every right to be angry at him but like i said he made a mistake &
if you really want him back then you should give him
a second chance & see if he does the right thing i think you should tell him once your ready without giving it sometime that way he'll get a answer quicker from you(:

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18f.

how can i be happy for someone who i can't stop loving? he's one of my good friends (joe) - ive known him for 5yrs now. i've always had the biggest crush on him because we have so much fun together and he's always been there for me to talk to when i need it. the problem is .. he's been on and off dating this girl for 3 and a half yrs. she absolutely gorgeous, shes the nicest girl, shes smart, shes everything any guy could want. she makes me so jealous, because i could never be who she is. she plays 3 sports, has a 4.1 GPA, volunteers, is getting a scholarship for softball and hockey. i'm happy for joe because he deserves a good girl but it's hard being so close with him as a friend and looking at them two together. they're perfect for each other and i go out and meet new guys but it always brings me back to him. i can never be as comfortable with any other guy as i am with him. i have to move on from him, i can't try and be with him when he's always on and off with this girl. how can i find a guy i know i deserve that will give me his full attention when joes always in the back of my mind..

You shouldn't compare yourself to other girls seeing as your different then she is everyone has
good qualities about themselves & you've got to focus on those & not think about the negative one's
things weren't meant to be between you two everything happens for a reason you can't change what's happened or the fact that they are together
you'll find a boy who loves you...for you & who you
are talk to some boys your interested in then see where everything goes from there you can either wait
till he comes or you can go looking for him your choice(:

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