asknava's advice column | Page 10

home view feedback ask questions add as friend advicenators

Website:

E-mail:

kahea2018@yahoo.com

Gender:

Female

Location:

The Universe

Occupation:

Artist, Writer

Age:

30

Member Since:

December 7, 2007

Answers:

215

Last Update:

July 3, 2014

Visitors:

20504

Favorite Columnists

Main Categories:

General Sex Questions

about

All is as it should be.

I will do my best to help you, as others have helped me.

advice

so, i'm a virgin.
i've never really been concerned with sex but now i'm in a relationship with a guy whom i really love and is very considerate of my being a virgin. he's way more experienced than me but he doesn't care about that.
he gave me oral the other day and i had to tell him to stop cuz it hurt. i need some comments on why i had pain. plz?
also: i need some tips on how to give him pleasure too. i don't want to leave him doing all the work and unsatisfied.

Ok...Let me keep it real with you, If it hurt then he was doing it wrong. Straight up. Now maybe he wasn't doing it wrong for some chick he had before, but he is doing it wrong for you. You gotta tell him what you like and I know you are new so you don't really know what you like yet. I would say this, tell him to like you but not to bite you or suck you, sometimes if the man sucks your clit it can hurt, so just tell him to like lick your thighs and lick your clit and vagina but don't suck it yet. See how you like that. tell him to lick it fast and then lick it slow, move around stuff like that. tell him to rub it too, you may or may not like fingering, i didn't like it at first and then it grew on me. Start off with one finger and move on up as you get comfortable. Now if you want to give him pleasure the best thing to do is to give him a really good hand job. Here is a link with some relaly good techniques (NOTE: before you go on these websites there are some example pictures and sexual content ok, but it is not explicit, they are helpful: http://www.scribd.com/doc/267084/How-to-Give-A-Good-Blow-Job-and-Hand-JobBlowHisMindTonight-com

http://cmecum.com/hj.html

if you have more questions or what some more advice just hit me up. hope this helps. Peace

I've been dating my bf for almost 5 months and and his friend are kind of starting to get to me. They're actually my friends too, I met them before I met my bf, they introduced us. Before my bf and I started dating, they'd hit on me but in a cute flirty way. I was always fine with it cuz I thought it was all in good fun. This continued after my bf and I were official but I still just laughed it off. Now it's actually started to bother me. I'm not sure whether or not my bf knows they act this way but the comments have escalated and I'm not sure what to do. This is all talk btw, they would never do more than just talk. I'm not sure what to do because they are good friends of mine and they're my bf's best friends.

I'm gonna keep it real with you...you need to call them out. What I would do is, talk to your boyfriend first, let him know how you feel. If he is trully in love with you and supports you then he will stand by your side and help you out. Then you need to either let him handle it, or you can both handle it together or you can talk to them on your own. I think they will take you more seriously if you two talk to them as a couple. It will keep you stronger to have that extra support. I just talked to my boyfriend and he said the same thing I am telling you. So that is two people who think this. Hope it goes well. Peace.

I need some websites where I can go on to get animated wallpaper and screensavers. Any thing you've used that you can recommend? Prefereably ones of beaches or waterfalls or something like that.

Also please make sure its not a site that has viruses or stupid crap on it. One's that you've used and know 110 percent that are safe are perfect!

I've searched myself but most of them are really dumb looking or have pop-ups and crap.

have you ever tried, just saving the picture to your computer and them right clicking on the desk top, going to properties, clicking on Desktop and then browse and finding the picture you saved and right clicking on it and setting it as your background picture? IF have you tried this then ok, that is what I do, hope it helps.

My mom has a problem with me growing up. She wont accept that I'm not "her baby" anymore. I was very depressed last year, but I met my girlfriend and we helped each other through our problems. We've been together in love for 7 months.

My mom thought I was a virgin until she recently found out me and my girlfriend are sexually active. She went crazy and only lets us see each other twice a month; we've only seen each other 15 times in the whole relationship! And when we do see each other, we're not even allowed to be in a bedroom together at any time!

I feel like my mom is being really selfish, and not accepting my relationship even though its the first time I've been happy in years.

What can I do?

P.S.: Before you ask, I'm not some whiny 13 year old, I'm a junior, but dont say "just wait until college" because I cant just wait a year on my relationship, we're in love and NEED to be together. (We also both have severe depression, we actually do need it.

My mom did something similar to me when I was in HS. She told me that I couldn't talk to the guy anymore, she was even thinking of not sending me to college cause she didn't trust that I wasn't going to see him and I had to promise her that I wasn't going to see him until I was finished with college. I did and I didn't see him until I went back to live on my own. I mean the whole thing with him and I didn't work out and I'm glad it didn't cause he wasn't the right guy for me, but that is a long story. That doesn't mean that will be the case with you. You can't change your parents but you can change how you precieve them. If you continue to see you mom as a controll freak who can't let go and is ruining your life, then she will continue to be that. Start to see her as somone who trusts you, who loves you and knows that you are mature and is willing to work with you. My mom used to drive me crazy being a back seat driver, I started seeing her as calm and patient and quiet in the car, only chiming in when I really need her and that is how she is most of the time now. That is what I suggest. The Law of Attraction babe. Hope it helps, and with that depression, I used to suffer from really bad depression, you can use perspective change to change that too. Hope you get better. Peace

so right now i wear glasses. as in 24/7 :P
but i find that, wearing glasses make my eyes worser. and i hate the way i look in glasses. and i do not want to live the rest of my life with glasses.. :( and i currently go to school but in the summer im gonna try to get used to contacts.
so my question is,

1) are contacts hard to get used to ?
2) do wear both,glasses and contacts?

ohkayy well thanks in advance. :)

Ok I am going to tell you something and you might think that it is impossible but it's not. If you stop wearing the glasses or only wear them when you absolutley have to, and you tell your self as often as possible that your eyesight is improving every day, your eyesight will get better. I did this, for one year and by the next year when I went to get my eye exam the doctor swore to me that my eye sight would have gotten worse and i've been straining, and when she did the exam, my one eye was the same and my other eye was %25 improved. She said well I guess I was wrong. So take that info and do what you will with it. Peace.

my room is upstairs, so if i open my window and smoke by it would my parents be able to smell it any ?

Potentially. I have done this and if they are sensitive to smells then yeah, they will be able to. The best thing to do is smoke outside. If you can't and you really want to do that then try to keep your hand that is holding the cig outside and your head out when you are pulling and blowing and burn some inscense or scented candles while you are doing it. Hope this helps. Peace

How long would it take to gain about 30-45 ponds? I eat fruits and fatty foods but weigh about 110 or something close? Don't tell me "oh you don't need to gain weight" I just need a straight forward answer.

I think the most you can gain in a month is like 30 lbs so I would say it takes about 2 months to gain 30-45lbs but you really gotta be binging and eating junk. The best thing I hear is to go on an italian diet, that is what the football players usually do. They eat a lot of pasta, a lot of bread and stuff like that. Then don't exercise. If you gotta exercise like you are trying to do football then just make sure that you eat more calories than you burn. So if you eat 1500 calories and then you work out and burn 500 calories during a workout, make sure that you eat another 500 plus more so that you will gain more calories. You can do it the healthy way to, like the sumo wrestlers always eat healthy fresh food but they just eat a lot of it and they eat more than what they work off. Hope that is good info. Peace.

how do you know if a guy likes you or not?? what are the signs?

Men are tricky. Sometimes it seems like they like you and they don't and sometimes it seems like they don't and they do. Usually when they like you they will go above and beyond for you. Doing things for you, complementing you, helping you and giving you advice, looking at you in a way like they are intreagued by you, hugging you a lot and taking you places, trying to hang out with you a lot and paying for things they don't have to pay for, being nice to you more than they are to others and opening up to you about personal stuff. The best thing to do is to ask. Just say, do you like me? and be prepared for what ever answer you get. I mean I have had guys that liked me real hard and were totally into me and then just stopped, I have had guys that liked me for years and i never knew. I have had guys that did a lot for me but weren't physically attracted to me, then I've had guys tell me they like me and then a few weeks later say they never said that. So, I say pray about it, then ask them or have a friend ask, and then see how they treat you. If they are a real man they will treat you well and with respect. Peace.

I have a Razr v3 and soon I will be able to get a new phone. What phones from Tmobile are good quality with a good price? I don't have to worry about dropping it because I'm really careful with my phones. I want a phone with a good size screen, camera phone, and something fun. I don't mind what kind of phone it is (standard, slide, flip). If you could, provide a site and your opinion on the phone. Help appreciated!

Thanks!

I have a t-mobile phone and I have their service. here is a link to their phone page.
http://www.t-mobile.com/shop/phones/
I got the Samsung t629 and I really like it. they say it is an old phone . I think it's been out for like a year or 2 but it takes the best pictures of any camera phone I have ever had and it hasa camcorder. It has the capability to download music to it but you have to get a cord and a program that to do that. It also has the best speaker I have ever had, people always hear me clearly. It was free because it was time for my renewal and it only cost me like $20 for the upgrade fee or whatever. I didn't even have to pay shipping. I used to have the Nokia 6103 and that had radio, but I get better pictures and speaker quality with the Samsung. Hope that helps.

Why is it that some fellow advicenators tell young girls and boys it is okay to have sex or do other sexual acts "if they feel that they are ready" when they know that it is wrong. I believe they are just looking to get good ratings, do you agree? I'd much rather tell them the truth, that they are TOO YOUNG and have NO IDEA of potential consequences BESIDES pregnancy and get a lower rating than tell them it's okay. Am I the only one?

I suppose this can be seen as purely subjective, but is there anyone out there at or about my age (20) who thinks it's ok for 12 year olds to go around having oral sex and/or intercourse?

I feel like hey...It is their parent's job to tell them when they can and can't have sex. I might get a 3 for this one but I am going to keep it real. Now...I'm not going to go out there and tell a girl that tells me she is 13 how to have a better orgasm...but if she asks me a question like oh well is this sex, is this 4 play or what is cuming or what do I do if my bf want's to have sex or something like that, I'm gonna tell her. A lot of times i think kids have sex early casue they are curious and no one will answer their quesitons...But the truth is it's out there, their friends are doing it and they want to know what's going on. What I try to do is keep it P&G. I try to answer the question and only go as far as I think their age group should hear. I let em know like look...you are 13 and i don't think I should be giving you too much advice so I am going to answer your direct question and that is it. Apparently they can't ask their parents or friends you know...Someone needs to let them know what is going on so that if they are going to do something, they know what they are doing and tehy do it safe and right... but that is just me, I don't know about anyone else. It's a good question though. By the way I am 23 and I waited til I was about 20 21 to have sex and I waited til I was 19 to kiss and you know why, casue people let me know what it was all about, I knew what was going on and how things basically worked, and why it was good for me to wait.
Peace :)

Ok my friend Terry (26) and I (23) are always very flirtatious, but really good friends too. And yes I do have a crush on him. We have been friends for a few years. I always catch him staring at me and when he realizes I catch him he just smiles because he loves it when I catch him. Like when I sit in a skirt he shakes his head and just says stuff like "Err that's not fair." like when we are at karaoke or watching a movie. He is always wanting to get caught doing something. and that is one thing that is exhilarating to me. Well with all our flirting we have gotten a little touchy lately. The other night we were watching a movie with some friends and we were cuddled up (like usual) with him laying across me on the couch. Our other friends fell asleep, I was massaging little parts his back and head, and he started slowly tickling my legs that he had been resting on. well..... it got a little further with him rubbing inside my legs tickling me and he… starting rubbing my clit. it was feeling really good until he tried fingering me. It just did not feel right and I told him not to do that. And he understood and stopped. I don’t want to hear that he was taking advantage of me because I could have stopped him sooner, and if he was he could have kept going. Now…I am a virgin and he does now that. We are both celibate ( we don’t have sex with anyone, for those of you who don’t know) and respect each other. It is just the way we are. Now is it normal that I don’t like it when he is trying to penetrate me with his finger? It just doesn’t feel good. Makes me queasy. I don’t like that I don’t like it because I want it to feel good. Also do you think this well effect our friendship? Also I have been trying to come up with some icebreakers how I can talk to him about this, Anything anyone can help me with would be great

Yea! I am the first to answer this question! I am so excited ok...First of all it is totally ok to not like it...I didn't like it at first. I didn't lose my virginity until I was about 20 going on 21. I would suggest that you just try something else all together. if you like when he rubs it then just let him rub it...rub it all over and that is all good. I think the penitration thing will feel better after you have had sex. Let him run it and just let him suck your nipples and play with your boobies. Something I like to do is sit between their legs while they rub the boobies and the clit. And you can do a really cool hand job. There are a lot of websites on how to imporve your hand jobs and I strongly suggest that you try them cause I went from hating giving them to loving giving them. Now the next thing is...Just tell him in a flirtatious way. Say hey...you know I really like the way your big strong hands feel on my body (they like to hear that stuff, it makes them feel masculine and proud) Say but you know I really like to more when you just rub it and you don't stick it in. It really makes me feel good when you rub me there and in these other places. I really like when you do this and that and the other. Focus on what you like. Be bold and he will like that. Also if he want's to stick his fingers in something....try letting him stick them in and out of your mouth. See how you like that. I like that! :) Make sure his nails are cut and filed down...if you like that...I do. And if they aren't keep it real. Do it for him or let him know that it really turns you on when guys keep their body like this or that. At first I didn't like it at all, then i liked it with one finger, then 2 and so on and so on, then I only like it gentil and now I like it rough. Everyone has different things that they like and dont like at different times. If anything...always start it off with "it really turns me on when..." This keeps it positive and keeps him feeling like he is doing something right. Peace

my boyfriend has a fairly large penis..we have become sexually active and i always feel bloated. i don't think im pregnant because i am on the pill and haven't missed a pill. why am i so bloated and have abdomen pain after sex?

I agree...I don't know about the pill thing casue I don't take em...but the pain thing yeah...when he has a big penis or he goes to hard there is pain. Sometimes bleeding. So maybe you two should go a little easier on each other until you get your body adjusted to that thing he is swinging hahaha.

13/f

My family is always arguing and yelling. Once my parents were fighting and my dad almost left, I was in my room crying. But of course I think everybody would be. Well then they worked it out and he stayed but lately they have started fighting again and then my little 11 year old brother is getting in trouble everyday. Which makes my mom always yelling at him and then sometimes things come in with me and I start yelling because everybody else is. I hate it! I have cryed every single night that I can remember. I have cut myself once but not badly. I also promised myself I would never do it again. So that isn't much of my problem. I have tried talking to them about it but they are never happy and they never want to talk to me. I know for a fact they love me though. I try to get away from home as much as possible too. Also if no one is fighting then they are complaining. I hardly ever yell, I just stay in my room and try to block it all out or call my friends or go online or something. There is no abuse or anything so its good there. So if anyone can give me advice on what to do, thanks so much! And sorry it was long.

This is an awkward situation cause you can't like leave cause you are too young. There is a book called the secret. It is by Rhonda Byrne. Very popular, it has been on the best sellers list for like ever...you can go to Borders or Barnes and Nobles and read it for free or you can get the DVD if you don't like reading. I strongly suggest that you focus on the part about imporving relationships. You cannot change your parents, but you can put your self in a better vibration so that you are only around them when they are happy. This is what I have been doing with my mom and with time and practice it is working very well. She used to fuss all the time and me and yell at me and call me names and blame me for stuff...now we are happy, peaceful, when she get's upset i can let it go better. She is doing things for me with a nice heart. I really think you should check it out. Peace.
Also:
kahea2018@yahoo.com is my e-mail address. I used to suffer from really bad depression and cut my self too. So if you need advice hit me up very freeely ok. No matter what...there is nothing stupid that you could say to me or ask me, all things are welcome. If there is no one else that you can talk to please talk to me ok...I will respond as soon as I get the e-mail. Peace.

Does anyone know any good songs that have to do with crushes, you would never have a chance with a guy, or something like that. Thanks so much!

Wheatus Teenage dirtbag! I love this song. OH and that Weezer... Across the Sea and that whole Pinkerton Album is like nothing but crush songs.

15/f

i'm in 10th grade and i still haven't gotten my first kiss. Now i know you guys are going to say, you have to wait or someday it's going to happen, but it seems like it's never going to happen for me. Most of my friends have been kissed already and have boyfriends and sometimes i feel lonely...i don't know it just always seems like nothing ever works out for me. so basically i want guys opinions on what they find attractive in a girl.

I am a girl and I want you to know this...It is not about you, it is about the people you are around...most of the time. I lived in a area of a race that was predominately not my own. there was very little inter racial dating. Even when guys of a different race like you they didn't say anything. I had about 3 guys that liked me and never said anything... i knew it...i could feel it, I later found out for sure when i got back from college and one finally asked me out on a date. If i had judged my self by the men there i would have thought I was the ugliest piece of shit and that was weird cause when I looked in the mirror i saw beauty. But when i moved and I got around more open minded guys...man I had to beat them off with a stick. So sometimes it is where you are, maybe you are doing all the right things but the guy for you just isn't there, or maybe he is and you just haven't noticed him. Most guys will tell you that they just want a girl with a good personality that understands them, thinks their funny and can love them. Of course they want to be physically attracted to you and maybe share similar religious stuff depending on who you are dealing with. But just be your self...I didn't have my first kiss until I was 19 and it wasn't because I wasn't cute. It was because I wasn't around the right men hahaha. Peace.

i've been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half now and we've been having sex for about 10 months. like the sex is good but i don't think i'm cumming during sex? and whats the difference between cumming by clit & gspot? how's an orgasm and cumming different? i feel good during sex, but just don't reach a climax... like ever. help me please!
=]

OK...I do hope that you are old enough to hear this info. You were smart to not list your age cause most people won't tell you too much if you are too young. I am going to assume you are 18 or over. The first thing you need to know is that not all women cum regularly during sex. Cumming is anytime the wet secretion comes out of your vagina. Sometimes it is a little and sometimes it is a lot. Some times it comes out a little at a time in a constant flowing pattern and sometimes it squirts out when you are really excited. With my first boyfriend and one other guy I slept with I had to use KY jelly cause my vagina hadn't been opened up yet...I was still new to sex. I had only had it a few times and my boyfriend wasn't like HUGE so it took some time to give a little. The more it gives the more you will be able to have the cum come out. What you need to find out is if you are a cummer or if you aren't. You can achieve this answer through masturbation. When you think that you can't take anymore, take some more, and when you think you are done, give it to your self some more and this way you will open up sexually. Then your body will start to cum more if you are a cummer. If you aren't then maybe you should try some KY Jelly.
Now The difference between Clitoral orgasm and vaginal...If your boyfriend gives you head (licks your VV) or plays with it and this makes you feel way better than when he sticks it in...which is how I am...then you are a clit girl...if on the other hand you need to feel his penis inside of you then hey you are a vaginal girl. Let's say this...if my boyfriend had surgery on his penis and we couldn't have penial sex for a few weeks I would be ok cause his tounge and fingers are MORE THAN ENOUGH for me! But some girls are not like that. They have to feel the penis or they wont feel GREAT! The G-Spot is like your personal spot I believe. It is at a certain angle inside of you where when he sticks it in you just don't even want him to stop. Sometimes it takes some time for you to open up for him to be able to go into you that deep and for it to feel good. The more my guy and I have sex the deeper he can go. That wall that get's hit when he can't go anymore, and he's pumping it really hard *blush* And you are like WOW! That is the G-Spot.
Now...Cumming and orgasm...I told you earlier what the cumming was...NOW ORGASM! WOW
well there are 7 different levels of orgasm...I can't remember what they are but I read about them in a Kama Sutra book. The highest leve is when your body is completly and totally relaxed you feel like you can't even move. Like someone would have to pick you up. then you are like breathing deeply, you turn into like this sexual animal. You Scream and you SCREAM LOUD! and a lot of times you grip him really really tight. And you can't even talk. You are like sluring your speech. That is an orgasm. Also, orgasm for men is different, they do not do the whole screaming thing hahaha at least not to my knowledge...you will have to ask them about their orgasm.
Now:How to experience this Orgasm:
You better go grab a drink...
ok...The first thing I suggest is..if you can get your hands on one of those showers that you can pull off and hold by the handle...you know and move it all around your body and adjust the nozel...if you can get one of those or take a shower in a place that has one of those, then do it! What you are going to do is, take the nozel, put it on vibrate and then put it on your VV. move it in and out and all around and then move it around your body. Massage your back with it your boobies, nipples...put the water in your mouth and let it vibrate in there and the put it back on your VV. Let it vibrate on your thighs and feel and everything. Where ever feels good for you. Then when you think you can't handle it on your vagina anymore tell your self to take it! Take it! And keep going. Your body is going to be like WOW! Then you are going to cum sooooo much! and after all that cum comes out you are going to like fall over in the shower and that will be the orgasm. You will know it.
Now taking that back in the bedroom. You both gotta find time during the sex to play around...you can give him head, then when he is feeling like he is about to cum stop and let him give you head. keep doing this...take some time and 69....then go back to this rotation. Them don't cum. This is when you start to have sex. Communicate...if he is doing something you don't like, tell him, if you like it tell him, Moan and let him know how strong and big he is and what a sex god he is and how no other guy can make you feel this good. Role Play! Pretend he is Zeus and you are some little servent girl to some wicked king and he comes in and takes you away to mount Olympus and gives you the best kinkiest screw of your life. Get A KAMA SUTRA BOOK AND FOLLOW IT WHILE YOU ARE HAVING SEX! IT IS GREAT! One with big clear pictures that is easy to turn and you don't have to hold it open, it stays open on it's own. The best way to reach orgasm is everytime you think you are giong to cum...stop and breath and get your self collected again, then start up again. Keep doing this stuff and experiment with the books. I used to give ok hand jobs and I hated it, Now I i give the best friggin hand jobs in the world. The guys roll over and turn and hold me and grab my head and scream my name and everything, just from taking some pointers out of a book. If you want some more advice and want to tell me mroe about your situation... hit me up. Check out these websites too...
http://www.handjobadvice.com/hand-job-advice-intro.html
http://www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/orgasm.htm
http://www.coolnurse.com/orgasm_female.htm

what does it mean when people say you shouldnt take the lords name in vain?

Yeah and just to add to what they have said...In Vain directly means without effect or avail; to no purpose; in an improper or irreverent manner:
So if you are using God and you are not Praying or anything like that or blessing somenoe or talking about God then why are you saying it with no purpose, and no good purpose on top of that. Peace.

Adam and Eve were white right..? Then how did chinese/mexican/etc. people get here? And Adam and Eve didn't have any daughters..so did Cane and Able do it with their mom to keep the population growing?!

I WOULD JUST LIKE TO SAY THAT I AM REALLY PROUD! I AM REALLY PROUD OF THE WAY ALL OF YOU HAVE ANSWERED THIS PERSON'S QUESTION. WE HAVE COME A LONG BEAUTIFUL WAY IN SOCIETY.

WOW:
Adam and Eve hahah are so symbolic. There is like nothing else to say dude. They covered it. I just wanted to add my support. I think that what you learned here, you need to take it and run with it. I would do some research and find out what people believed before people started painting pictures of white Gods. White Gods aren't bad or not true, but the truth is, is that there is sooooo much more. I think that if you invest time into studying this stuff you will feel very fulfilled.

Is it possible to die in your dream? My brother told me that in his psychology class, his teacher said that it's impossible to die in your own dream, and if you do, it means you are dead. My friends are all "No way I've died in my dream before," but I don't believe them because I don't think you can be alive and dream about being dead and actually know what it feels like. Every time that I've had a dream where I was going to die, I would wake up the split second before I died. In one dream, I was in a car, and it went off a cliff, and right before I hit the bottom, I was crying and then I woke up with tears in my eyes. Also, how come I woke up with tears in my eyes from that dream?

Dude I have had dreams...I have had dreams where I was like almost in other people's bodies while they were being murdered, I have had dreams where I have been killed, I have had out of body experiences where I thought that I was not going to be able to get back into my body and said ok well I guess that is it and made my peace. I feel like, if it is your time to go then it is your time to go. Only you and the universe know when that time is. There are a lot of old people that pass away in there sleep and that is supposed to be the most peaceful way to go. The truth is that whether you are asleep or awake you are only going to go when it is time for you to go. So don't stress it.
I had a dream that I was driving off of a cliff and the last thought that I had was "well this is it..." and I hit the ground. I didn't feel any pain or anything, but while it was happening I thought it was real until I woke up. Your mental and your "soul" and your physical are all connected, so when one feels the others feel you dig? So if you are dreaming something really intense, you can wake up crying or in pain or bleeding. All kinds of stuff dude. Don't let them scare you though. Make peace with your dreams and start taking control of them.

hi well, okay lets see im a muslim girl. and i have a boyfriend....and i just wanna know the opinions of other muslim people out there about dating? sex before marriage? and of these other issues related to the drama teens face these days. also, how do you judge how 'muslim' someone is? please answer - if your muslim. any other comments are also appreciated.

I'm going to keep it real with you. If you love Aalah and you feel that Islam is your thing, then I would suggest that you pray to Aalah to give you strength, wisdom and guidence. I would say let your courage guide you. I was raised in a religion that had moral restrictions too...a lot of people were just getting married to have sex and that is so lame to me. This way to them and the religios community it was "ok". How is that truly ok though when your heart is not in the right place. On the real, if the dude is your soul mate and your true love, you all could be virgins or celebate for the rest of your lives and it wouldn't matter. Yeah it might make you a little sad but you would get over it cause love is about more than sex. Sex is apart of it yeah, but not all of it. Things have not changed at all, if you are strong in your mind it does not matter what the people around you say and do, all that matters is what you feel is right in your heart with God. I was a virgin until I was 20 going on 21. I didn't have a open mouth kiss until I was 19 and that was my choice. I spoke with God and prayed and when I felt it was ok, I did what I did. You gotta do the same thing. I don't know if you are the kind of Muslim that's family does arranged marriages, but my friend was in that kind of family. I would say if that is the deal that you pray to the universe to send you the most loving, special, beautiful and supportive man for you. This way even if it is arranged, you will have the love of your life.

As far as judging how "religiously commited" someone is, you pray for the truth to be shown to you, and that you will have the wisdom and accaptence to trust what you see and feel. When you pray for this you always see the truth. Try it. Peace.

<<< Previous Advice Column

Next Advice Column >>>