about

It's fine.
Ask me a question. I like giving advice. If you don't like the advice I give, or the opinion I have, it's fine.

Sometimes you can't get through to people no matter how long and hard you try.

advice

I am a 17 year old girl and i am interested in a younger boy, he is 14. Believe me, i know it sounds bad but if you knew how he treated me, you might understand. The thing is i will be 18 in the month of may, and he will only be 15 in October. Also, it's weird to think, my brother is 12 and the boy i'm interested in is 14. He acts very mature for his age, even with his friends!... and looks like he is 17 or 18. One person that I've talked to about it said he might be infatuated by a pretty older girl that has come his way. Honestly, if that were true, he might have just made a move on me already and he hasn't. My mother mentioned that it's illegal when i turn 18 and if i pissed off anyone in the family, they could turn it into a legal manner, and i could go to jail. I know its different, when the age range is 16-19 but does the age difference really matter in this case, or should I leave it be, since i'm finally happy? PLEASE HELP.

The thing is, right now, in this day and age and in these circumstances (this is a high school relationship), yes age does matter.

My parents have always told me that when it comes to love, yes age is just a number....unless you're a teenager. ;)

Think about it, he is a fourteen year old kid. You are almost an adult. You're turning 18, so I can probably safely presume you will be graduating this year? Or at least very soon.
You two are going to have very different things going on in your life very soon; you'll be thinking seriously about college majors or career paths or moving out and living on your own, whatever the case may be, while he's going to be preoccupied with just enjoying his teen years and being a kid for a little while longer.

It might not seem like such a big deal right now, because you have been bitten by the love bug. But remember that this is most likely infatuation, and if you want a real relationship, part of what makes a real relationship work is compatibility and wanting the same things as your partner.

Just my opinion though, take it or leave it. ;) Good luck.

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UGH.
15/f

For SOO long, I thought I had a "fear of commitment" issue, and that's why I've turned down EVERY guy who's asked me out

But lately I realized, it's not that I fear I won't be able to get out of a realtionship...

It's that I'm afraid of what people will think!!!

Just to say, I'm a total perfectionist. EVERYTHING needs to be perfect.

Whenever I like guys, they are PERFECT. GORGEOUS, smart, funny, popular...usually assholes... like it would ever happen.
I always occasionally find myself liking more down-to-earth guys, that usually like me to start with...they're usually cute, short, hilarious, and sweet.
But EVERY TIME they ask me out or try to tell me they like me, my heart just sinks, and I panic. I would never want to be seen with them, I would never want people to know about it, and talk about it, and judge me and them and make fun of me and them

I know. I'm most likely the most shallow, ungreatful, petty, narrow-minded bitch in the world.

I don't know if there's some scientific diagnosis for it, but I have a FEAR OF OPINION.
It seriously just hammers the top of my head and causes so much frusturation and annoyance and paranoia.

It really needs to stop. I can't do ANYTHING without worrying about what people will think.
It's so bad, I can't even get dressed in the morning. I can't even walk out the door without worrying what others will think.

Just the thought of people talking behind my back, laughing at me, making fun of me, whispering about me...it just makes me feel small and terrible.
...
I'm asking for a lot of advice here...

1. I need to find a way to get rid of this FEAR. It ruins my life and self-esteem. And a simple "just don't think about what others will say!" really won't help, thanks though...
2. I need to get over that, then be able to take another huge step and date. I'm not RUSHING into it by the way, I just need to be ready to date sooner or later...I'm 15 and the "you're too young to worry about it" won't apply for much longer.

Call me a bitch, call me shallow. Whatever. If it needs to be said, please say it. I just really need some help here.

Thank you so very much

There is a scientific diagnosis for it: It's called being a teenage girl.

Let me elaborate.

You are feeling what every teenage girl feels, and though I can't speak for the boys, I'm pretty sure they go through it too.

You're at an age right now where of course you are going to worry about what everyone thinks of you. That's totally normal and natural.

Would you like to know why?
Because right now is the time when you are figuring out WHO YOU ARE. You're figuring out WHAT YOU THINK. You are FINDING YOURSELF. It's all part of adolescence.

So of course, you are going to worry about people judging you, thinking about you, talking about you. And though I'm sure you don't want to hear this, but it's true: Everyone goes through this. It's all part of that magical process called "puberty". Fun time isn't it?

At this point, you are psyching yourself out. If you freak yourself out thinking that this is some kind of unique and freakish problem, then yes, you are going to feel like it "hammers the top of your head". But sweetie, in all honesty, if you just try and put it into perspective and realize that it's normal for a teenager to feel these same insecurities, it's easier to deal with. And I am here to tell you that you are not alone. Hopefully that makes you feel comforted so you can just start to relax.

Seriously, take a deep breath. Relax hun. This isn't some kind profound medical issue. This is just a teenage girl trying to find herself, figure it all out.

It'll pass once you put it into perspective. I can say this because this year, I personally have come into my own somewhat. I'm happy to report that I've just got it together, thanks to just experience and those silly hormones calming down a little finally, and most of those insecurities went away.

So relax. Because you will reach a point when YOU are ready, a point when it honestly will not matter to you what people say about the guys you choose to date. For now, if you aren't in a place in your life where you can do that comfortably, then don't do it. That's fine. It comes with maturity, both physical (i.e. puberty and hormones again, yay) and emotional (i.e. just living life).

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my mom was telling me about this thing last night that replaces a tampon when you're on your period. its a cup-type thing and when you stick it in, it "collects" the blood i guess? and you take it out every few hours to empty it and you keep reusing it.

does anyone know what on earth i'm talking about and where i could get one? thanks. i'd look it up myself but i'd have no idea what its called or even what to search. so thanks in advance.

How to use a search website:

For this particular question open up your search engine. Type in the search bar exactly what you are asking: "tampon cup"
When I typed that in, this page came up:
http://www.google.com/search?q=tampon+cup&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a

...Just filled with choices of pages you could go to for your answer! Incredible, isn't it? =]

I'm not saying this to be mean by the way love. Just sharing some knowledge with you.

And by the way, according to Wikipedia, what you are referring to is called a "Menstrual Cup". Before you make an informed decision about what you whether or not you want to use it, be sure to go back to the magical search bar and type in "menstrual cup pros and cons" or something like it.
It's just good to weigh your options =]

Hopefully I answered your question about how to look things up for yourself. Good luck =D

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i have been on birth control for a about a month and two weeks almost three well im not very good at taking them like at all the other week i forgot to take the pill so i took two the next day. then the other day i was about to take it and the pill dropped and i couldnt find it OF COIURSE! that day me and my boyfriend were having sex and i told him not to cum in me but he did anyway. he almost alawys cums in me by the way. (we just started cuming in me thoug) and even missing the pills i dont take them all at the same time everyday sometimes i forget in the morning or i figure i dont have time and take it when i get home from school or b4 i go to bed. but sometimes i take it regurlary everyday in the morning but that lasts like three days. and i know there are chances of getting pregnant ALWAYS! and the way ive been doing things i have a greater chance of but. what are the sighns and stuff and percentage of getting prego. like the first week of getting prego do you have signs i have been pooping like three times a day now that mean anything!

Okay.

Not taking the pill at the same time everyday can be dangerous to your health PLUS it makes the pill less effective.

Sex is for mature people who can handle the responsibility of birth control. If you can't handle taking the pill the same time every day, when not taking it could alter you life forever, then I think you should take a quiet moment and reflect.

Shape up, act more responsibly. I am not telling you don't have sex. Have it if you want. But if you can't even be responsible enough to take a tiny little pill every day at the same time, how are you going to handle a child? Because the chances of it happening in your situation are very high. And it would be YOUR fault, because YOU were irresponsible about the pill. It wouldn't be because of a broken condom, which really constitutes an accident. You have the opportunity to protect yourself from pregnancy and YOU are screwing it up.

If you want to have sex, get yourself into a routine of taking the pill AT THE SAME TIME EVERY DAY. I say that in capitols, not because I am yelling at you, but because I want the message to stick.

Also, referring to it as "prego" and "getting prego" doesn't help your case much either.

Get yourself to a doctor. Ask for helpful hints on how to take birth control pills. Don't take any more or have sex until you see that doctor.

I sincerely hope you are not pregnant. But not for your sake, for the baby's.

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I am thinking of purchasing the kindle from amazon.com. But I am not sure its worth it?

Are there alot of books for teens abailable for the kindle.

Or is the sony kindle better, ( does it have more books?)


Give me what you think about it if you have one, and if i should get it or stick with paper backs? THanks

Alright first off, the technical approach to answer your question:
My mom has a Kindle.
The screen is too small she says, and she's constantly afraid of breaking the thing.

Now prepare for a long rant which will tell you EXACTLY what I think of the Kindle =]:
I personally don't agree with the Kindle. Like, I actually have a strong personal stance against it. Call it strange, but whatever.

My reason:
It's the written word. They can't take away the written word from us. We no longer have hard copies of music floating around, it's mainly switched to digital. You can stream movies and television shows online right on your computer. But books? Come on, that's taking it too far.
What would we do if something happened to the world God forbid, and no computers were salvaged? There would be no record of us even being here. Since we're seem to be switching entirely over to computers.

Yeah, I'm all for pushing forward. I have an iPod, a cell phone, a Facebook, I watch movies and TV online and I text message. But that doesn't mean I like it. If I didn't, I'd be cut off from the world in a way. And that makes me sad that those are your only two options.

But, I digress.
Reason number two: On a smaller scale, let's say your Kindle crashes. Now all your books are gone. All of them.
Because alright, do you have an MP3 player of some sort? Well the songs that you have on your MP3 player...most people don't have the CD version because we get them off iTunes or Limewire. I'll admit it, I don't have every single one of my songs backed up either.
So when my mom got this Kindle, she started giving away the books she had the digital version of. And now, if her Kindle dies, she doesn't have them anymore. Or even if it lives forever, what if this idea doesn't stick so Amazon stops making them and stops producing digital downloads. Then where will you be?

Also, sometimes books hold special meaning for you. Maybe your boyfriend gave it to you, or it was your great-great-great grandmother's copy of Pride and Prejudice and now it's finally been passed down to you. They build interpersonal relationships.
In this digital age, all these electronics remove you from people because well, when you download something you don't physically go out to the store maybe with a couple of friends. Nope, you do it sitting at home on your computer. Where are the fond memories in that?


So...
Do I think the Kindle is worth it? Definitely not. My advice: Stick with paperbacks, they last longer. ;]

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I'm super confussed last week on monday i had unprotected sex with my boyfriend but the next day i got my period like right away but im still wondering "could i be pregnant"..?

Buy a home pregnancy test to be sure.

You are very lucky if you aren't pregnant.
You should never ever have unprotected sex, unless you are trying to have a baby. If you had used a condom, you probably would not have had to ask this question.

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i have a question about vectors.

Under what circumstances will forces a b and c in a vector triangle be equal in magnitude?

Help?!

If you have are having trouble with a concept in school, you can always ask your teacher for help. =]

We aren't here to do your homework for you.

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okayy, so i literally started learning guitar yesterday. on saturday, i was reading guitar for dummies (yea, i know...) and today i 've learned fearless by taylor swift, and remembering sunday. but obviously, i only kno the chords. i wanna be able to understand strumming patteren. and not the type that you find in music books . i mean the type people put on the interent, so that i can stat playing songs. also im having trouble learning certain chords, such as f, is that normal. do i just need to practice? okay, well im putting a link to a ebsite hich im trying to learn a song called jasey rae. how to i figure out hat it all means? i get the chords , but hat about the rest of it? thanx in advance
Oh, and ho do i do different tuningd? i only know how to do the basic tuning (i have an acoustic guitar)

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/tabs/a/all_time_low/jasey_rae_acoustic_tab.html

F-chord was very tricky for me because you have to put your pointer finger across two strings. Gah. Lol, but it just takes practice and calluses...lots of calluses. (Basically your fingertips will harden up a little so that it won't hurt anymore and you'll be able to play that F with the greatest of ease! =p)

For the Jasey Rae song:
Alright.
First thing's first, the tuning is Drop D, but this person did something weird with it. Basically the letters you see here on the right:

---> E-|---------------|
B-|---------------|
G-|---------------|
C#|--1-x32--6-x32-|
G#|--1------6-----|
D-|--0------5-----|

...those are the strings on the guitar. The sixth string (the thickest one on your guitar) should be tuned to a D. Then the 5th string should be tuned to a G# and etc etc. All you do is just get a tuner, and turn the knobs at the top of your neck. You know, just tune it.

Okay next step...

Those numbers that you see on the tab represent the frets. Frets are spaces in between the metal bars on your guitar.

Alright so in that first phrase, you would place your fingers on the 4th string first fret, then 3rd string first fret, and the 6th string would be left open because it has a zero on it. Still with me?
Good.

So the next step would be to move do the same thing except this time you would move your fingers to 4th string sixth fret, 5th string sixth fret, and then 6th string fifth fret.

Pretty simple once you know right? =]




If you have anymore questions, feel free to inbox me. Good luck with the guitar playing!


Oh but might I just also suggest you choose a different tab to learn the song? The one you picked only has three stars next to it. I try to go for ones with five stars, because the higher rated ones are generally more accurate:
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/search.php?s=jasey+rae&w=songs

Also, you went under Acoustic Version for the "chords" choice, but the person who did it tabbed it out, which should be under the chords category.

Here's one with just the chords rated five stars:
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/tabs/a/all_time_low/jasey_rae_acoustic_ver2_crd.htm

I played it, and it's a lot more accurate than the first tab you chose.

Good luck and have fun! =]

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When, during a woman's menstrual cycle, is it easiest to get pregnant? Like right after her period, or during ovulation?

During ovulation is the time when a woman is most fertile.
Her "period" is when the egg is being flushed out of the woman's system.

Let it be noted however that you can get pregnant at anytime, it's just the easiest during ovulation.

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Right there is this guy that i have been out with before, but he finished me cos i dint talk to him that much.
But recently i found out he really liked me and the things is i really like him.

but how do i tell him?
if i text he tells his mates :/ and wen i ring i get scared ...
What on earth shall i do !?

im 14 years of age and i am female.

You live, you learn, and there's no problem with liking him again.

You found out that he likes you too, as in heard it from someone other than him. The thing that you need to do is talk to him about this, get those feelings out in the open. And hear it directly from him.

I'd talk in person. Don't bother with the texting because that's a little too impersonal and like you said, he could show his friends. And even talking on the phone might not be best, because you can't gauge his reaction and such.

You broke up first because you two didn't really talk much, so that tells me that it wasn't a mature relationship. I am not saying this as an insult sweetie, so please don't take it that way. I say mature as in something past "I like him, he likes me, giggle giggle".
By talking to him in person about how you two feel, you're taking that step forward to having a more meaningful relationship.

Try it, give it another shot. Hope it all works out =]

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i need a bra how shall itell my mum please give advice

Ah growing up =]

What I did with my mom was made sure we were alone, that way no brothers or dads would awkwardly walk by. (No one wants that haha). And I just said "Mom, I was thinking that maybe it was time for my first bra.' Just be as clear and confident as you can be.

Part of being grown up is to be able to talk to your mom confidently, but respectfully. You are asking her for your first bra, which is a mature step in your life. Therefore, you should do it in a mature way.

Good luck, and welcome to the joy that is puberty. ;)

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I hope I spelled it right .My girl friend is going through this and I want to know what I can do as her boyfriend to help her keep things at ease and first of all I need to educate myself as to what is really happening to her.

Menopause? How old are you?

Look up menopause on Wikipedia or something. You sound young to me, no offense if you aren't young. Menopause happens to women usually in their 60s. It's when their bodies stop producing eggs, meaning of course that they can no longer have children. There are a number of side effects the woman will go through and these you can look up on Wikipedia or any other site online.
Double check to see if this is actually what she's going through....

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What's the fastest way i can loose weight without being bullimic?
Because i've tried purging after meals, and i can never do it i'm always afraid.
Any healthy tips? Because the road i'm going down right now won't lead to any good.

Add fiber to your diet.
I just read this article online about how essential fiber is. It flattens your tummy, cleans out your system, really just makes you feel a whole lot better.
The article said to look for foods with at least 3 grams of fiber per serving. And I know that usually when you think "Fiber" the connotation is "Ew." But there's some good choices out there that taste great too!
Here's the article: http://www.hsph.harvard.edu/nutritionsource/what-should-you-eat/fiber/
http://www.hsph.harvard.edu/nutritionsource/what-should-you-eat/fiber-full-story/index.html

(Try some Trisquits, they're wicked good. And when you're hungry for something sweet, reach for a banana or apple.)

As far as exercise, just going for a walk at least 3 or 4 times a week will do wonders after awhile. Did you know that exercising will actually make you feel more energized? Weird, considering it takes a lot of energy. ;]

Good luck. There's a LOT of ways to lose weight before you start even thinking Bulimia.

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Hey :)

well i started my period about 3 months ago, the only problem is i only had one period. so im 3 months in and ive missed 2 periods. I still get discharge and all that and it doesnt smell. is this bad??

x

If it was your very first period then no. Your first year is rarely regular. But if it's bothering you, you can always ask your doctor. No harm in that. =]

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If you know that a guy is interested in you and he sometimes caresses your legs and you dont tell him to stop but you dont make it seem like your even phased by it, what impression would the guy get?

I actually had this happen to me believe it or not ;]
When he would "caress my legs sometimes" it would make me a little uncomfortable but I didn't want him to stop, like you said. So I'd sit there, not knowing what to do but still hoping he'd keep touching me, you know?

We started going out a few weeks later and it turns out that he thought it was cute, because it just made him try harder to get my attention.

Good luck! =]

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15/f
I hang out with a feww cool kids, Im under 5 feet, 95 lbs, adorable, smart but closeminded. I think Im great but not enough to be cocky.
Point is, Ive never kissed a guy and I cant figure out why. People are usually shocked when I tell them, and that makes me feel special :]
Could that be what's keeping me from kissing a guy or getting a boyfriend? If so, how do I stop it?
Also Ive only had three boyfriends. I want a really really close companion I can trust [a boyfriend, yeah]. Im just TERRIFIED of asking around and getting rejected, ruining a friendship, being made fun of. Any tips to help me?

Also, my history teacher said Im biased. I tried looking it up but didn't get much feedback. Soo..what does that mean again? I wanna say she said Im judgemental but that might not be right.

Everybody is afraid to some extent of getting rejected. It's pretty much human nature. But the trick is not to let that stop you from going for something.
With that said, take a chance. What's (be honest now) the worst that could happen to you? Someone says no, people might talk, then what? Everybody moves on. Believe it or not, when you make a mistake, people don't obsess over your mistake 24/7. They're too preoccupied wondering who's obsessing over THEIR mistakes. See a pattern? People really do spend too much time worrying. =p

I really wouldn't worry about not kissing anybody yet, everybody moves at their own pace. There's no set time limit like if you don't kiss a guy by the time you are 15, you're a loser. Some of my friends who are seniors haven't had their first kiss yet. And that is perfectly alright.

The closet companions you can have right now are your friends. So don't worry right now about finding the guy of your dreams. That comes along very few times. There's this quote that I absolutely love that says "You don't go to high school to find your husband, you go to find your maid of honor." And it's so true.
So while having a boyfriend might seem very important right now, not having one is more than alright.
To each his own.

=]

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OK so I dont have my period but last wensday (for the first time ever) when I went to the bathroom I salw a little bit of blood in my underwear (not much, just a litte). I don't know what it is, and I dont think its discharge. It might be but I'm not sure. What do you think this is? Could it be my period (it only hapened once)?

When my period came for the first time, there was like no blood the first day. Then it didn't come back for two days and then it really started up.
Your first period is not supposed to be normal at all. It can skip around, just plain skip altogether, etc. Basically whatever it feels like doing. ;]

Next time you go to the doctor's, bring it up if you're still concerned. Can't hurt to ask, and it might reassure you more than random strangers online. =]

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OK in school i want to go to the school dancee..
But have no one to go withh..
I know guys like me in school..
But they wont ask me outt..
So how do i get people to ask me out??

Just be yourself. Act like you don't care if you have a date to the dance...because really you shouldn't care. ;]
If you walk around wishing you could have a date, chances are you'll show it. And nobody likes a sulking person.
Be happy and excited that the dance is coming up, and you might just catch someone's eye. They'll notice that you'd be fun to hang around.

But remember that if you don't get a date, no biggie. Just go to that dance anyway! =]

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I can not stand smoking. i mean i really cant, my entire family was shocked when they found out that my boyfriend of over a year smoked. We have talked about him quitting, ways to quit, trying to cut down, cold turkey, patches, ect. I cant be around him for like 20 minutes every time after he smokes he has to pretty much brush his teeth and use breath strips all the time and change his clothes just to be around me. I find it weird that he is willing to do all of these things but WILL OT STOP SMOKNG. He says he has been cutting down for the last .. nearly two years.. but he really has not. He says he really does want to quit, bad habbit, bad for his heart, ME..ect. I have been to just about every "quit smoking" web site with him reading, trying to understand, trying to help him put a mental block up. He thinks he is going to have terrible withdrawls so bad hes going to have a heart attack. (he has a heart defect but nothing really says that the withdrawls will do anything like THAT to him). So i dont know how or what more to say. Please any help, anything at this point.. thanks in advance

If he really does want to quit and is all for quitting, then I think the process will be easier.
What I mean by that is that he has to commit and really truly WANT to change. Not the flimsy "Oh yes, I'll try later" way of thinking.

My mom used to smoke, and she quit by gradually cutting down. She said the withdrawals weren't so bad this way, since she was getting her nicotine fix, just less and less each day.
How many packs a day does he smoke? Let's go with two just for explanation purposes.
Day One: Smoke two packs
Day Two: Smoke two packs minus one cigarette
Day Three: Smoke two packs minus two cigarettes
Day Four: Smoke two packs minus three cigarettes
Etc...

Also, if he feels like he needs to grab something else to make up for the one less cigarette, if it must be food, make it something healthy. One of my uncles quit cold turkey and would grab a cookie for every cigarette they weren't having. Not so great for you either.

Above all, your job as his girlfriend is to be supportive. Support him in his journey to quit. I'd imagine it'll be a whole lot easier on him with a good support system behind him.
Good luck to your boyfriend.

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I'm not the most attractive person. I'm not ugly, but I'm not exactly pretty either.
But my boyfriend always tells me how I'm the most beautiful person on earth in his eyes, and I don't see how that is possible. I just feel like he is lying to me :-(
Any input?

You shouldn't feel like he's lying to you. Why would he lie?
You have some self-esteem issues, that's clear. Have you ever heard the saying, "You have to learn to love yourself, then others will love you"? Well sweetie, if you keep questioning whether or not he's telling the truth, that's going to wear down your relationship. He's trying to make you feel special because he loves you. That's not the time to wonder if it's true or not. Just take the compliment and realize that you are beautiful.
To him you're the most beautiful person on earth. You owe it to yourself, him, and the relationship to trust in what he says.

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