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Fooling around... not sure how to take this?
Ok my friend Terry (26) and I (23) are always very flirtatious, but really good friends too. And yes I do have a crush on him. We have been friends for a few years. I always catch him staring at me and when he realizes I catch him he just smiles because he loves it when I catch him. Like when I sit in a skirt he shakes his head and just says stuff like "Err that's not fair." like when we are at karaoke or watching a movie. He is always wanting to get caught doing something. and that is one thing that is exhilarating to me. Well with all our flirting we have gotten a little touchy lately. The other night we were watching a movie with some friends and we were cuddled up (like usual) with him laying across me on the couch. Our other friends fell asleep, I was massaging little parts his back and head, and he started slowly tickling my legs that he had been resting on. well..... it got a little further with him rubbing inside my legs tickling me and he… starting rubbing my clit. it was feeling really good until he tried fingering me. It just did not feel right and I told him not to do that. And he understood and stopped. I don’t want to hear that he was taking advantage of me because I could have stopped him sooner, and if he was he could have kept going. Now…I am a virgin and he does now that. We are both celibate ( we don’t have sex with anyone, for those of you who don’t know) and respect each other. It is just the way we are. Now is it normal that I don’t like it when he is trying to penetrate me with his finger? It just doesn’t feel good. Makes me queasy. I don’t like that I don’t like it because I want it to feel good. Also do you think this well effect our friendship? Also I have been trying to come up with some icebreakers how I can talk to him about this, Anything anyone can help me with would be great
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It is not bad of you to feel that way! He obviously likes you all you guys need to do now is start dating. If sex is that important to you I don't blame you for thinking that because you probably feel like you guys should have the title of gf and bf before that can happen because you are worried it will hurt your relationship. I have been with my fiance for 2 and a half years and we were friends first and I have to tell you that is always the best relationship. You already know each other and hopefully being together will make your friendship grow even more. If you do start dating and decide that you actually don't like him that way, stop it before it gets to far and ruins the friendship.
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Yea! I am the first to answer this question! I am so excited ok...First of all it is totally ok to not like it...I didn't like it at first. I didn't lose my virginity until I was about 20 going on 21. I would suggest that you just try something else all together. if you like when he rubs it then just let him rub it...rub it all over and that is all good. I think the penitration thing will feel better after you have had sex. Let him run it and just let him suck your nipples and play with your boobies. Something I like to do is sit between their legs while they rub the boobies and the clit. And you can do a really cool hand job. There are a lot of websites on how to imporve your hand jobs and I strongly suggest that you try them cause I went from hating giving them to loving giving them. Now the next thing is...Just tell him in a flirtatious way. Say hey...you know I really like the way your big strong hands feel on my body (they like to hear that stuff, it makes them feel masculine and proud) Say but you know I really like to more when you just rub it and you don't stick it in. It really makes me feel good when you rub me there and in these other places. I really like when you do this and that and the other. Focus on what you like. Be bold and he will like that. Also if he want's to stick his fingers in something....try letting him stick them in and out of your mouth. See how you like that. I like that! :) Make sure his nails are cut and filed down...if you like that...I do. And if they aren't keep it real. Do it for him or let him know that it really turns you on when guys keep their body like this or that. At first I didn't like it at all, then i liked it with one finger, then 2 and so on and so on, then I only like it gentil and now I like it rough. Everyone has different things that they like and dont like at different times. If anything...always start it off with "it really turns me on when..." This keeps it positive and keeps him feeling like he is doing something right. Peace
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Wow.
Ok, first of all, you two should have gone out on a date by now. Seriously. You both like each other and obviously you like him touching you in an intimate way.
The penetration thing is your discomfort with being a virgin at 23. Its something you are going to have to get over eventually, and its something you are going to have to take slowly. Becoming comfortable with new things is never very easy.
Icebreakers? Do you really need one? You have a crush on him and hes playing with your clit, I think that ice is at least a little bit broken. Get off your ass, go talk to him, kiss him, and tell him he's taking you out to a movie already.
Oh, and the friendship thing. You two can't remain just friends for too much longer. Too much tension, you both want each other and denying it or trying to "preserve the friendship" just means youre going to both drive each other nuts until you end up dating _later_ or one of you walks away.
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Hey, well it sounds like he wants you to move on to a different stage with you. and well you talk to him about which would be a really good thing. Because then it would be really stranged if you didnt dicuss be intimate with each other. and well if you talk to him about you like him and wished that he respect you. and just randomly say hey remeber that night when we were watching a movie and be specific what night since it seems like you do that movie nith often and well yeah ask him how is his feeling towards you and why does we want to intimate with you.
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I honestly think the only way out of this situation is to tell him the truth! If you don't have a conversation with him, it is definitely going to affect your friendship. Everytime you are around him, it will be pretty awkward. I suggest finding some time for you and him to sit down alone and discuss what each of you are thinking. It may be awkward at first, but if you are as good of friends as you say, it won't be too difficult. I respect your decisions to be celibate and I bet he would too. I think it is important to discuss stuff like this with him because it will help hime respect your space a little more. Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that you should just talk to him! As far as icebreakers go, I suggest just jumping into it. It may be easier to get right off the bat why you are talking to him. I hope that helps, let me know if you have any other questions! Good luck!
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