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mom wont accept me growing up
My mom has a problem with me growing up. She wont accept that I'm not "her baby" anymore. I was very depressed last year, but I met my girlfriend and we helped each other through our problems. We've been together in love for 7 months.
My mom thought I was a virgin until she recently found out me and my girlfriend are sexually active. She went crazy and only lets us see each other twice a month; we've only seen each other 15 times in the whole relationship! And when we do see each other, we're not even allowed to be in a bedroom together at any time!
I feel like my mom is being really selfish, and not accepting my relationship even though its the first time I've been happy in years.
What can I do?
P.S.: Before you ask, I'm not some whiny 13 year old, I'm a junior, but dont say "just wait until college" because I cant just wait a year on my relationship, we're in love and NEED to be together. (We also both have severe depression, we actually do need it.
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Sex is like an anti-depressant, with all the endorphins orgasm provides. However, two depressed teenagers using sex for their only sense of joy and fulfillment will have a difficult time growing in other areas and realizing they have many other options. Sex should not be the only thing that makes the two of you happy when you are together. If you were allowed to see each other without restrictions then you would make it like rabbits until you both got bored of it and each other and break up anyway. Whether you are seventeen or seventy my advice is the same. Branch out and do some fun stuff both alone and together. Find ways to deal with your depression and live life. Sex should be an extension of your joy, not a replacement for it.
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I think you and your girlfriend should get together with your mom and have a serious conversation with her tell her that you are old enough to have a realtionship and that you are happy and that she needs to accept that you are growing up.
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My mom did something similar to me when I was in HS. She told me that I couldn't talk to the guy anymore, she was even thinking of not sending me to college cause she didn't trust that I wasn't going to see him and I had to promise her that I wasn't going to see him until I was finished with college. I did and I didn't see him until I went back to live on my own. I mean the whole thing with him and I didn't work out and I'm glad it didn't cause he wasn't the right guy for me, but that is a long story. That doesn't mean that will be the case with you. You can't change your parents but you can change how you precieve them. If you continue to see you mom as a controll freak who can't let go and is ruining your life, then she will continue to be that. Start to see her as somone who trusts you, who loves you and knows that you are mature and is willing to work with you. My mom used to drive me crazy being a back seat driver, I started seeing her as calm and patient and quiet in the car, only chiming in when I really need her and that is how she is most of the time now. That is what I suggest. The Law of Attraction babe. Hope it helps, and with that depression, I used to suffer from really bad depression, you can use perspective change to change that too. Hope you get better. Peace
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