about

I'm Jessie. I've been on here on and off for about 7 years. I'm 22 :) I am currently in my final year of college studying English and new media
I'm from Ireland I dye my hair way too much. I've been blonde,brown,brown with blonde,black,red,and blonde again!I love helping people I found advicenators when I was just 15 and didn't understand the world! I feel I have matured with this site. The people on here are amazing and I love coming on here in my spare time to be there for people in need. I won't tell you what you want to hear because that's not advice it's just fooling yourself. I try to help in whatever way I can I try not to judge and try to relate to a situation if I can. :) If you don't like honesty then you won't like my advice.
If you're kind enough to rate me please leave a comment letting me know if I helped! I love hearing that I have!
Please try to use proper grammar and be coherent.


I have been featured 4 times. :)

advice

i'm 21 f and i just can't handel all the stress my parents are putting on me. i want to date this guy and i'm too afraid to tell my parents. since i got out of a serious relationship a while ago they don't want to see me hurt and i get that. but i live alone and need to make my own choices and the fact that they keep pushing me to be single really bothers me. i know that they care and all but i really like him and its not like its going to be serious right off the bat. what can i tell my parents to make them stop stressing me out and telling me to bee alone.

Hey there :)
I can understand totally where you are coming from.
Like all parents they worry and they care SO much and thats lovely to know but everyone needs breathing space to be themselves and to do their own thing,have their own experiences,get hurt,grow and make their own mistakes.
You need to sit down and talk to them. explain how much you love them and appreciate their concern but also let them know you feel pressured and a bit trapped.
Tell them you just want the chance to experience things for yourself. Parents are their to love protect &support. tell them they should support you and trust you to make your own choices.
If things don't work out at least you figured things out for yourself and gave it a go. There is no point sitting back and letting life pass by you need to live.
Believe it nor not the best things in life come from making mistakes and learning. But hey things could be great with this guy.
And you are not rushing into it which is great.
Try to make your parents see all this once you explain it they should see it from your point of view. Im not sure how strict/protective they are but at then end of the day if they don't agree you are 21 and its your life. Don't let anyone influence your decisions in a negative way.
I hope everything works out for you and that this helps some how! Good luck
Much

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I have problems at home and i wanna move out...my boyfriend says to move in with him...im 18 now so i would be able too...is this a good idea? or what should i do?

Hey there,
Okay since you haven't given much background info as to what is actually going on at home its hard to give accurate advice.
Well basically It depends how bad things are at home.
I have had plenty of times where I have had fights and wanted to move out honestly some where I cursed my own family and the fighting was distracting from my studies.
It helped having my boyfriend there to support me but instead of moving out permanently I Stayed with my aunt for a few weeks until we worked out things at home. It cleared my mind and my families mind and we were able to stop fighting. Its nice knowing there is somewhere I can go to escape if things get too heated.
It again depends on your situation.
Moving in with your boyfriend has its negatives and positives. Its great you will get to see him all the time and be away from the stress at home but if its a permanent situation you may start to get sick of each other or get on each others nerves.
I would suggest you maybe sit down with your family talk about whats going on let them know in a mature way you need some time to yourself as you can't handle whats going on. Maybe move in with your bf for a few weeks and in the meantime try to work through whats going on at home.
Thats what I did and honestly things have never been better. It can be your bf grand parent aunt cousin anyone. As long as you have someone to go to it really helps.
Do what feels right for you. What feels best at the time. Trust your instincts.
I hope this helps and that things work out for you.
Please feel free to inbox me anytime
Much

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I fell in love with my best friend. I didn't tell him because I know he doesn't like me that way. The problem is he says he's in love with this girl, Grace, who our whole gang knows is not the right girl for him-she drinks,she smokes and she's not that bright- but he seems too blinded to realize.

He doesn't hang out with us anymore, it seems like he doesn't even care. Even my other guy friends notice that. The painful part for me is that, I have to watch them every single day.How he looks at her how he acts around her and every single time, it's like a part of me dies.

I asked others what I should do, and they always say that I should tell him how I feel. But the thing is I can't. I'm too afraid that it'll just ruin our friendship,and I cannot risk losing the only thing we have left. And besides, they're together now. But i still need some help, so please tell me anything I should do. Teach me how I could start moving on and letting him go,because I sure am not doing a good job at that now.Please HELP ME, thanks a lot. >:D

Hey there :)
Aw this is definitely a horrible situation and i'm sorry to hear your in it.
We have all been in a similar predicament at some stage or an other.
Okay well have you guts talked to him? like your group..if not just basically tell him you are just looking out for him and that you think he his distancing himself from you. Be gentle about it. The last thing you wan't his him retaliating and going further away. He will either take your advice well or not. It may cause him to drift further away but at least you will know you have been good friends and tried to be there for him. After you do that there isn't much more you can do I'm sorry to say.
The bottom line is it his life and he is going to live it how he wants to meaning go out with who he wants and so forth.
90% of the time our friends instincts are never wrong but we can be so caught up in someone or something we choose to ignore or own instincts if that makes sense.
So basically in time he will see that this girl is not right for him. Or he may not.
I really understand the pain you must be feeling as regards your feelings for him. When I was 14 I had feelings for a friend of mine and he started dating one of my girl friends it was so horrible and Like you I died a little inside every time I saw them together.
The trick to moving on is a little bit of distance time and persistence.
Firstly its okay to cry your hurting and thats normal let it all out then once it has make a promise to yourself not to cry again.
Then keep yourself busy every time you think of him distract yourself. Call up another friend make plans,listen to music anything.Of course its going to be hard at first but I promise you as time goes on it gets easier. Soon it will become much more easier to be around him and to control your feelings to a point where one day they will actually be gone!
I really would advise you not to tell him. In other circumstances I would say go for it but he is already hanging out with you guys less. Like you said would you rather him as a friend or nothing at all?
I believe the risk is too high in this situation.
Don't waste your life waiting around for one guy. When you could learn to let go and gain feelings for someone else that will return them.
Unfortunately there really isn't much you can do other than that. Like I have said before its his choice. Sometimes people change and come in and out of our lives its a part of life that sucks no doubt but a part that we have to deal with.
I really hope this helps and that things work out well for you
feel free to inbox me anytime!
Much

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So i have this friend. he and i hang out a lot and he gives me hugs all the the time.he pokes me tickles me he leans his head on my shoulder when im driving and a couple of times when we go to the movies he literally put my head head on his shoulder. and he is always asking me questions about guys i like my past relationships...so then he kept pestering me to tell him one day and i texted him it was him. he never replied. but the next day when we hunjg out he acted the same way he always does hugging me and stuff. so is this what normal guy friends do or am i just mixing my signals up like crazy? please help me...

Hey there :)
Aw well from what you have said it definitely looks like he his expressing an interest in you. You are not reading your signals wrong they appear to be very much there!
The problem is he is probably nervous and confused.
He may not have replied because maybe he didn't know what to say? Guys believe it or not get just as worried about these things as we do :)
He was probably analising what you said trying to figure out if you were serious etc.
You need to literally ask him out straight does he like you. There is no point in wasting time second guessing as you might both miss out on a great opportunity I know its scary but think its worth it to know.
That way you will also know for sure if he isn't just messing around with you,although he sounds like a pretty nice guy.
But be careful keep your guard up. Guys sometimes don't know what they wan't and can mess with a girls emotions intentionally or unintentionally.
So just talk to him find out whats going on :)
I wish you the best of luck and hope things work out
Much

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so my boyfriend and i have been going out for about four months now and his friend seriously has a thing for me so i told my boyfriend about this and he asked his friend and his friend just made it worse for me and said that i flirt with him this is the second time this has happened with one of my boyfriends friends and the weird thing is that he always believes what they say and i look like the bad one so what do i do about my current situation this guy just won't take no for an answer and it's really causing problems for me and my boyfriend
please help

Hey there I'm sorry to here your in this situation.
conflicts between a guys best friend and his girlfriend are never pretty.
But the bottom line is he is your boyfriend he his supposed to trust you and support you.
To be brutally honest what good is it being in a relationship where your boyfriend is constantly suspicious of you and won't believe you when your telling the truth?
I mean you were the one that went to him and told him his friend was hasselling you would a guilty person do that?
Your boyfriend is being ridiculous as is his friend. Guys will always tend to stick by their friends though unfortunately he needs to realize what is more important to him.
You need to sit your bf down and talk to him. Try and make him see you are not the problem here but refrain from complaining too much about his friend. Tell him its really upsetting you and that if he can't trust you what is the point in being together.Hopefully he can see things from your point of view and tell his friend to back off.
Have another word with his friend ask him why he feels the need to do this why is ruining things and causing problems. Tell him how pathetic it his that he needs to grow up and stop meddling in other peoples relationships.
If your boyfriend still doesn't believe you then ask yourself is it really worth it?
You don't deserve that. Move on and find someone who will stick by you and respect you when you come to them with a problem. I know its hard but its worth it in the long run.
I hope things work out and I hope this helps.
Much

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17/f me and my boyfriend have been going out for 4 1/2 months, which is pretty long for a high school relationship. he has had alot of other relationships before, he's kind of a player, but i havent had that many. we are sexually active together which makes our relationship even closer and harder to break apart. we have both admitted to cheating on eachother twice. recently we have been fighting alot and he has changed and he is normally really sweet and nice but he is now a complete jerk all the time and he has ditched me all week from hanging out. he is not acting like himself at all. when i talk to him about it he said he was stressed but he would work on it, but nothing ever changes he is still a jerk! and i know he is a player and he talks to other girls so i wonder if he is cheating on me? i dont know if i should break up with him or not. he still says he loves me, and i still love him, but its really hard. please help me :(

Hey there :)
Okay I have no doubt that you love this guy and that he loves you. But I'm afraid to say you have to face facts. There is absolutely no trust in this relationship you have both cheated for whatever reasons and now that he his acting like a jerk it has you stressing over what he may be doing. Thats not healthy in a relationship. As i'm sure you know they should be about trust openness and honesty.
These aspects don't appear to feature in your relationship.
Ask yourself am I happy?Is this really worth it or do I deserve better?
in my opinion you do.
If you strayed twice Isn't that telling you something?
Im sorry to be blunt but thats how I see it.
He is being cold and distant towards you at the moment and giving you no reason you don't deserve that.
It seems to me that this relationship is only gonna cause more stress then its worth.
I know its really hard moving on is never easy but as I say many times on here time is a healer.
Keep occupied stay strong you can do it.
Of course there will be days when all you wanna do is cry but that gets easier trust me :)
My advice is to get out before things get worse.
Find a guy who won't cheat on you,who you won't feel the need to cheat on and who treats you like an absolute princess. Sounds unrealistic but believe it or not there really are guys like that out there they just take that little bit longer to find and are often in the most unexpected places. Or right under our noses.
I really hope this helps but at the end of the day its your decision. Go with your gut. Your own instincts are almost never wrong.
Good luck & Much

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17/f so im pregnant obviously and i went to the doctor and they gave me pills that is going to slow down my babys heart beat and than im going to get the abortion operation. the dad of the baby is this guy that ive been going out with off and on for 2 years. he was my first and i love him. but we recently had a falling out and he doesnt know any of this. i tried to tell him one time that i was pregnant but he gave me a freaked out look so i said just kidding. i dont know what to do or if i should tell him again? or if he even cares. please help

Hey there :)
Okay in my opinion I feel you need to tell him.
Otherwise its just going to keep eating away at you.
you have been together two years he deserves to know. Of course he will freak out as I am sure you did pregnancy is a big deal at 17.
He probably felt overwhelmed. You need to sit down and explain to him whats going on that your getting an abortion tell him you are sorry you told him you were kidding but his reaction freaked you out.
you wonder if he even cares by telling him you will be able to find out.Your boyfriend should be there for and support you and your decisions. If he cannot do that I'm afraid to say you may need to rethink your relationship as there is no glossing over the fact that this is a big deal.
By not telling him you will be pretending the issue never happened A) thats not healthy and B) like I said before it will eat away at you.
You need to know how your boyfriend will handle this for the future if he will be able to stand by you in tough situations. Its better to find out sooner rather then later.
I hope this made sense and helped you.
I wish you the best of luck and if you have anymore questions please inbox me anytime :)
Much

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Where do I start. In May or 09 I met a guy (online yes). We were just talking and friends whatnot. We hit it off pretty well, and exchanged cell numbers and would text a lot. By January of 2010 I started to develop really strong feelings I guess.

I told him that I liked him, and he told me that since it was just online my feelings couldn't be real, but he was flattered.

to make this as short as possible.The next couple of months, I'd practically speak to him every single day. Except for June, when he had a crush on a girl for the month and pretty much stopped talking to me. When that didn't work out, he came back to me, telling me how much he missed me and then ultimately dropped the L-bomb on me. Saying that he loved me more than a friend but not romantically, because "it'll never be" (talk about being stabbed in the heart) He said he loved me intimately..?

I, of course, told him I loved him back. Which I'm 90% sure I do love him back. But I can't help but think that he's only saying that just so I would "stay by his side" (metaphorically of course) It seems like when he's lonely, or something. Just recently he sent a heart and said 'Mine looks more real, it reflects my true love for you' And then after that he always starts to get distant, and indirectly makes comments that I need to find boyfriend (or a girlfriend -_-)and get over him.

My question is. How do I get over him? I can't block him, I'd feel too terrible, but how do I back away. I've already turned off my facebook chat because of him. Sometimes I even avoid my msn, because of him. I just can't shake the feeling that he's the one I might want to spend my life with, but also can't shake the feeling that he's just using me as a fill-in until he finds somebody else.

We're not together, nor have we ever been together. And he's all I think about all the time. I just want a feeling of peace without him in my mind.

Hey there.:)
Wow can I totally relate to this situation.
I have most definitely been in your shoes.
I know how it feels,he probably says such nice things to you that make you feel so special and significant,like you are the only one that matters. Then the next day he is cold..different off?
I had a guy just like that. A guy I felt I was totally in love with. He lived about 4hours away from me and I really thought it could work.
He hurt me really bad we used to talk online for hours upon hours. I would look forward to talking to him all day because he just used to make me smile and feel good about myself all the time.
I couldn't explain it I had never fallen for anyone like that before and I couldn't quite comprehend the fact that it was online.
Anyway he stopped talking to me when he found a "real life" girlfriend. I cannot tell you how much that hurt. We were so close and talked about everything. He used to say online relationships never work we need to be realistic.
So the months went on and of course I felt so jealous I distanced myself from him and learned to love him as a friend. What happened I believe I had gotten over him. He broke up with his girlfriend and came crawling back to me. saying he wished he never thrown away the bond we had etc etc.

Like a fool I fell for all his crap again. Until he hurt me in the worst way. He became friends with a girl I met online and have known for 4years.. the two of them got together behind my back while I was under the impression we were still together. That stung the most. They have since been together two years this Christmas and have even met up in person.
It took me a while to realize guys like this are just trouble plain and simple.
From the experience I have just shared with you I would warn you to be careful. Don't let yourself be subjected to continuous hurt like I was.
You deserve much more than that. You hit the nail on the head when you said"I can't shake the feeling that hes just using me as a fill in until he finds somebody else." To be brutally honest that IS what hes doing. That feeling is horrible I know like someone has punched you in the stomach.
Getting over someone takes time patience persistence determination and hard work. But time is a healer. It will get better. What I did was go on msn less. I spent more time with my friends again who I seemed to be neglecting. I got back into my studies. It was like my life revolved around this guy and I began to hate it. So everytime I thought about him I would distract myself by doing something I loved to take my mind off it.
Call a friend. Go to the movies. Cook,watch tv listen to music go for a walk anything.
Keep busy and I promise you before you know it your feelings will begin to fade.
There will come a time when you can look at his name on your MSN and laugh,and simply feel nothing for him but friendship. Don't let him charm his way back into your life. Don't let him consume your life. Take it from someone who has been there first hand.
You never know you might find a guy who is so much better in the mean time when you least expect it. Thats what happened with me and my current boyfriend of a year. Stay positive. Distant yourself I know It kills but you can do it. When he strikes up conversation or asks a question seem disinterested. Say sorry Im busy speek to later and appear offline. It really hurts but trust me it works you feel better in the long run.
I really hope this helps and wish you the best of luck
If you ever need to talk my inbox is always open.
Take care and much

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so i quite sure that is is going to sound crazy but i have a phoebia for kissing...

i get all confused and dont know what to do and get scared coz the guy might think im a totall idiot...

Hey there :)
Aw you are not the only one. Almost everyone gets nervous and apprehensive about kissing its natural.
The key is to just stop stressing! Honestly if you over think about it you wont be able to enjoy it.
The guy will not think you are an idiot believe it or not they get just as scared as us girls!
Kissing is something that comes natural. I remember I used to stress about it alot when I was say 13/14. I used to worry"where do I put my hands how do I do it what way do I tilt my head etc etc."
But seriously all that sort of just comes to you.
If it helps rest your hands on his shoulders. Remember to take it slow soft and gentle. Do not be too full on and if you want to use a little tongue but avoid "the washing machine syndrome" In other words don't eat his face. Stay in one spot slowly massage your tongue with his and you will soon find a rhythm you both are comfortable with.
Good kissing comes with practice! So don't be scared relax and experience & enjoy :)
I hope this helps anymore questions please feel free to inbox me
much

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I heard that sperm can stay in your body for upp to 4 to 5 days . Me and my boyfriend had sex during the whole time my period was on and he came In me twice everyday . I was jus wordering was it a good chance that I can be pregnant ? Or are my chances slim to nun ?

Hey there I hate to be the bearer of bad news but anytime you have unprotected sex your chances of getting pregnant are at 100%
No one can tell you for sure on here if you are take a pregnancy taste or make a doctors appointment.
I wish you the best and be careful & safe.
Much

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Well i am seventeen and i ALWAYS get stuff like:" "you look so young to drive" or "re you fourteen?!"
I know this is a good thing when you are older, but as a teen, it SUCKS. i want people to see me as a seventeen year old.
I drive, i am mature, i am nice. I love fashion, and i am always one of the best dressed.But the problems are: i am 5"4 and really skinny and petite so people see me way younger. And worst of all... i have NO boobs. They aren't growing! I have already talked to the doctor and its all "dont worry the time will come" and stuff like that. but for the meantime, what can i try to look older?

Hey there :)
Okay well you already have half the battle down in dressing well and having an interest in fashion.
I'm 17 myself and not that much taller then you im about 5'5 or 5'6.
Im not sure if you already do this but wearing some cute heels with some skinny jeans can do wonders! it really transforms an outfit and its still casual plus making you look older and more sophisticated.
As for your boobs there are things you can do about that, Buy a push up padded bra for the mean time if you are that conscious about them :)
Make up is another issue. Don't cake it. That will just make you look like you are younger trying to be older. Less Is more. Make sure you're foundation matches your skin tone and is not orange. Go for soft neutral colours like nudes golds browns smokey shades that with open out your eyes.
Unfortunately there isn't much you can do only experiment with different styles and make up until you achieve the older look you desire.
Mess around with your hair look up different hairstyles play around see what suits you and makes you look older
Thats really All I can say I hope it helped some how :)
Good luck
Jess 17/f

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Hi,
My handwriting is really bad. My teachers say it is hard to understand sometimes. So my question is, how can I improve my handwriting QUICKLY?

Thanks (:

Hey there :)
Unfortunately some people are just destined to have bad hand writing. I was like you and it bothered me because my sisters was so lovely.
What I did was I just slowed down the pace of my writing to a point where it became more ledge able.
I also changed the way I held the pain it took me a while to get used to it but I found my hand writing really improved. It takes getting used to but I would suggest try different ways of writing sounds silly but it works you will find you write better holding the pen different ways etc.
Also try doing your letters different ways like Loopy Y's G's L's that sort of thing.
Our writing seems to change all the time as we get older like my writing was absolutely awful when I was 12/13 and now I actually have neat writing that I quite like.
Some people have naturally beautiful pen men ship others have to practice and teach themselves even at that it still might not compare to some one else's at all. As long as your writing is clear and you are happy with it thats fine :)
So basically slow down and practice different ways you will find you will be able to write clearer and quicker within time.
It also helps to have a good grasp on spelling and grammar believe it or not it improves your handwriting which from your question you seem to have!
Hope this helps
much

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Okay so whenever I would sleep with someone and I've only slept with about about five guys, and they'd go in too deep they'd make me bleed, and like it hurts. And I've also found like I can't keep my focus when I'm having sex and I feel bad because like I want to make him happy but like I can't do it well if my head isn't into it. And I just don't know what to do and is it normal to not really be loud during sex? I feel so unnornal because I rarely moan during sex and it doesn't feel as amazing as like you seen in the movies. Any advice?

(18/F)

Hi there :)
okay firstly let me tell you, you are totally 100% normal don't worry.
Ad you have said your head isnt in it. Which tells you right there you should not be doing it as you are not mentally or physically relaxed so you cannot possibly enjoy it.
Sex is an act of intimacy and love between two people and a possible reason you are not enjoying it is because of the guys you are doing it with. You need to feel comfortable and at ease with the guy.
If someone is hurting you tell them! Its your body and they probably don't realize so just let the guy know "softer gentler please that kind of hurts" you cannot possibly enjoy it if you are bleeding and uncomfortable.
Everybody is different when it comes to sex no body said you have to scream the house down like some girls do. Some make loud noises others soft others next to none so don't stress.
Also ignore what you see in the movies. Sadly to say sex is completely glamorized!
I have had some problems with sex myself as I have only recently started having it with my boyfriend of a year and like you have mentioned it didn't feel amazing for me so I asked on here and I got some really helpful feedback.
You need to know your body firstly. So therefore you need to know what works for you so you can tell your partner what feels good so don't be ashamed or embarrassed to feel around and find out what works best for your body.
Most women (like myself) cannot achieve an orgasm through penetrative sex. Your body needs to be relaxed and stimulated first which usually involves lots of foreplay touching and clitoral stimulation. This is the same for many women trust me I did some research online and found that there are hundreds of women who at first don't enjoy sex. Very few can enjoy it from just penetrative sex.
You cannot make a guy happy if you are not happy yourself! :)
Google betty dodson she has some great tips.
Just relax find what works for you make sure you WANT to do it and communicate! talk to the guy it won't get better otherwise.
I really hope this helps and best of luck
if you have any more questions please feel free to inbox me
much

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16/f

So me and my boyfriend really like each other. Maybe love but I don't like pushing myself into saying that until I am completely sure. He says he loves me and all that. I do believe him and he's completely honest with me.
The thing is, he's moving to another state about 6 hours away.
When we got together we both knew he'd be moving eventually but decided to make the best of it while we can.
Well he is totally serious about me and we have this very long talk about what we're gonna do when he leaves. He brought up three options, we could just break up and go our separate ways, stay friends still after high school then get together if we still feel the same(we only have a year and a half of school left), or long distance relationship.
I'm so confused on what to do. So I talked to a couple people about it and they said if I wanted to at least try it, then we could try long distance to see if it works out, if it just didn't for some reason then stay friends.
What do you think would be the best option?
I think he is completely trustworthy and we've already had a talk about that and we're totally honest with each other and he trusts me. We were also friends for a couple years before we started dating anyway so I knew him pretty well and got to know him more since we've been going out.
I'm not sure if I could handle long distance. He'd call every day and all that. I think maybe I could but I've never dealt with this before so I'm not sure.
Just any advice would help. Thanks!

Hey there :)
Okay firstly I would like to say the fact that you are both considering and willing to put in the effort says alot in my opinion. A lot of couples just call it quits to hard effort you know all that.
I have had an experience with a long distance relationship myself and there were positives and negatives. We actually got to see each other often enough once twice a month if lucky. However there were problems im not going to lie and in the end we both decided it wasn't working it hurt like hell but its something everyone has to go through.
Anyway i'm not trying to be all negative just sharing this particular experience of mine.
I think you should definitely try it. I mean there is no point in just not bothering if you two still have feelings for each other and if it doesn't work you remain friends and see if you feel the same at college like you said. However be prepared.
As you know long distance relationships are never easy. Some survive others rarely do. It depends on how you are as a couple. The fact that you completely trust each other is fantastic don't get me wrong but there will be moments where someone will come along in both your lives and spark interest. You know make you wonder would it just be easier..etc. So basically be prepared for possible heart break. Alot of times I have heard of people worrying okay what if hes doing something and I don't know but if you really trust each other like you should that shouldn't be an issue.
Just give it a go would be my advice :)
I mean some people would say save time and hurt by ending it now but the way I look at this has a 50/50 chance of working out it can go good or bad.
If it goes bad at least you know you put your whole heart into it and actually tried.
Best of luck and I hope this helped you some how at the end of the day its your choice just go with your instincts chances are you already know what to do :)
If you have any more questions please feel free to inbox me.
Much

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Well l am a teenager and I'm dating a guy who has A LOT of experience. He wants to have sex, and I do to but there's only one problem....I am over weight and I have stretch marks on my stomach. I don't think he knows because I haven't told him and I always wear a shirt around him. We've been dating a long time, we know all about protection, and I can honestly say I love him and we are planning on getting married when we graduate high school. But I need help, I am scared to death that when we are going to have sex he will take one look at my disgusting body and never want to get physical like that again. Please, any advice? Serious answers only please. Thank you for your time.

Hey there :)
Okay firstly let me start by saying you are definitely NOT the only person who has felt this way.
Many girls have felt self conscious about their bodies before becoming intimate. Its normal.
Honestly though if your boyfriend loves you and cares about you these things really won't matter to him! Hey probably,no strike that he won't notice!
Almost every girl I know has stretch marks they feel embarrassed about. Myself included I have them on my thighs and some on my hips.
Like you I was scared about what my boyfriend would think when we got intimate and I was surprised in two ways..
1. He didn't even bat an eyelid.
2. He had some too!!
You need to learn to love yourself. Not in a conceited way but in a positive self image way.
You are not disgusting. You are beautiful and you better start believing it! :)
He will not be turned off he loves you.
even if he is well then you will know he wasn't worth it plain and simple. People that shallow and conceited are never worth it and need a wake up call if they want to survive in life.
But as ive said before he won't feel this way.
Hes with you because he loves YOU. :)
Talk to him about your concerns your worries tell him how your feeling. sometimes all we need is a little reassurance to make us feel at ease.
So talk.
I hope this helped if you have anymore questions please feel free to inbox me.
Much

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About a week ago, my boyfriend Scott and I (we’re both 18) were hanging out and we saw this guy jogging, and Scott said to me, “his boobs are bigger than yours!” For some reason – perhaps I’m just being neurotic and silly – my feelings were really hurt by the comment. Since then I’ve just been feeling really ugly and self conscious. He called me this afternoon and he was all like, “hey, I noticed that you’ve been really quiet lately. Is everything okay? You can always talk to me if you need anything.”


Am I justified in feeling this way? I know that this is a completely ridiculous thing to ask for help about but... I’m kind of at a loss of what to do. I don’t want to talk to him about it because it’s so embarrassing, and I won’t have him think I’m an insecure, hypersensitive wuss.

Hey there,
Ok firstly I'd like to say I completely understand where you are coming from. All of us have our insecure moments and times when we just have zero self worth. Us girls especially.
I know you find it an embarrassing thing to talk about but you need to tell your boyfriend how your feeling. Otherwise nothing will get solved and you will drive yourself crazy thinking about it.
He won't think you are a hypersensitive wuss!He is your boyfriend explain your not mad about it and you know he didn't mean that as an insult to you but that it got you feeling down and you can't help it.
Sometimes all we need is a little reassurance to brighten our spirits and make us feel better.
Im sure he will understand! After all he said "you can always talk to me" didn't he?
He will not flip out and think you are weird. He is an 18 year old guy surely he his mature enough at this stage to realize little things can get people down every now and again. :)
Talk work it out be reassured. Most of all love yourself. Not in a conceited way but have a positive self image you are NOT ugly remind yourself of all the great things about yourself. Its how we learn to deal with these small little insecurities which stops them escalating into something huge and much more serious like depression etc.
So please talk to your boyfriend :)
I had a similar experience except it was me who made the comment and my boyfriend who felt insecure which was not my intention! So it just goes to show that guys feel this way too. (it was something silly about size.)
I really hope this helped and that you start feeling better soon.
If you have anymore questions at any time please feel free to inbox me.
Much

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My laptop is vista and i have tried to download fonts off the internet, but it doesnt work. How do i properly download a font and make it work in Microsoft Word? What are the steps? Thank you for your time!

Hey there
I used to have problem with this too.
Try this link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aC6IUBGc5GA

the girl goes through a step by step process :)
there are hundreds of websites that show you how.

-Jess 17/f

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Well i am currently 12 years old and i see my older sisters and cousin like having fun and i want that too but the people my age don't know how to have fun the way lets say 16-19 year olds do. I am always at home and my sister is having fun and i can't go with her because you know 16-19 year olds would never hang out with a 13 year old i wishh i was older. Im bored of life already there are no more things to do. Like i used to love going onto the internet but now i usually get no notifications on facebook. And if i was gonna hang out with my sister her friends wouldn't even talk to me i feel like a loser around them soo i usually don't even question when my sis says she's gonna go hang with her friends. I have friends but they can't be out late as i can and they don't do the things i like to do. Usually 7th-8th curfews are like 7pm or earlier.For me i don't even have a curfew well my mom kinda gets mad if im out past 12 but its all good. I dont know what to do anymore everyone around me is getting old all the my cousins and sister. I feel like im being left behind from all the fun do i just wait for a couple of years? But i don't wanna wait at all i feel like a loser with no friends. I go to jr. high they are like almost graduating highschool.
I feel lonely and bored of life i literally don't want any sort of item anymore i got everything i need. I even have my grades at an average. I don't wanna wait but i know my friends won't stop being so immature like every time i hang out with my friends i feel like the adult telling them to stop being so loud to pick up after themselves. My sis said im a little mature for my age i wishh i could go back and be immature again but i just can't anymore. All of my friends are 8th graders well most of them and when they leave for highschool next year i know for a fact im gonna be lonely and actually be a loser now. Im not racist or anything but i prefer to hang out with asians cuz im asian and majority of the 7th graders are mexican what am i supposed to do? and dont say i make new friends with the people already around me.
I also need help with the other topic above..

sorry about my rambling i tend to sometimes give too much info...

well i had alot of confidence like in on August but now its gone. I think im a horrible person, neither am i good looking. I AM A LOSER! *-*

Hey there,
Okay I'm going to start by saying firstly you are NOT a loser!
I know you may feel like one at the moment but trust me you are not.
Secondly this is something we have all gone through at some stage its just that awkward age. (I know your sick to death of hearing it)
But I remember being in your exact same position at that age. Feeling lonely useless bored.
It is a feeling that passes though you just need to find something to motivate you and interest you.
You are only twelve years old you cannot be bored with life! You havn't even lived half of it yet! :)
I would Agree with your sister you are mature for your age and thats a great thing,but like everything in life it has its downsides.
From hanging out with older kids its what you have come to know and expect from your younger friends.
There is plenty of time to do all that you have a good 6 years. Unfortunately you just have to wait its hard but we all have to do it think about how exciting it will be when you get there. Don't wish your life away.
Why don't you take up some new hobbie after school dance drama take an instrument sports there is soo much to do although you might not believe it right now.
You can't hang out with older people all the time its just not socially healthy. Every young teen feels like a loser around their older siblings and their friends fact! I have.As im sure many fellow advicenators have. I wish I could tell you more but really its a part of growing up.
Don't be negative find the positive in your life.
Good things come to those who wait!
Don't limit yourself to a certain group of people if you make Asian friends great but don't confine yourself to just that.
You need to forget about growing up for now and enjoy being young! When you turn 16 I can almost guarantee you you will be wishing you could be young again. Because believe it or not with all the cool responsibility that comes with growing up there is also alot of pressures and stresses that someone your age can't even dream of.
Please don't feel so down in yourself You are not a horrible person nor are you ugly or a loser!
Keep telling yourself these things. You had confidence at one stage so you obviously have amazing qualities to feel that way about.
Your just down in the dumps.
We all go through those times :) Its about learning to pick ourselves back up and re discover the fun in our lives. Laugh have fun be a kid!
I really hope you take this on board and that it helps you to see things in a new light :)
You seem like a very mature young girl with a strong head between her shoulders. Don't lose that. But don't lose your innocence or youth either. You need to balance the maturity in your life.
I hope I helped and if you have any more questions please feel free to inbox me.
Much

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how should i have sex for the first time

Hey there,
Relax be at total ease don't stress. Make sure your 100% ready with someone you 100% trust.
No one can actually tell you How to have sex. It comes natural to everybody and everybody has different preferences. Once you have done it a few times you learn and understand what your body prefers.
Enjoy it & always be safe thats about all really :)
Good luck,
Jess
-17/f

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what you said really made me think , and almost brought tears to my eyes . but i realized that its the truth .. people do change , and stuff happens , but life goes on , no matter how much you want to stand in that one spot forever . i never thought it would end like this .. :/

Hey :)
I know its really tough. I cried over my best friend endless nights but it gets easier I promise.
Like I said before you can talk to him if you feel you need that explanation but in my case it just caused more hurt.
You hit the nail on the head when you said life goes on.Someone amazing like that will come back into your life I have no doubt but this time they will bet there for good. I met by boyfriend not long after I fell out with my bff and were together over a year. So keep positive and I'm glad to know I helped

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