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Long Distance?
16/f
So me and my boyfriend really like each other. Maybe love but I don't like pushing myself into saying that until I am completely sure. He says he loves me and all that. I do believe him and he's completely honest with me.
The thing is, he's moving to another state about 6 hours away.
When we got together we both knew he'd be moving eventually but decided to make the best of it while we can.
Well he is totally serious about me and we have this very long talk about what we're gonna do when he leaves. He brought up three options, we could just break up and go our separate ways, stay friends still after high school then get together if we still feel the same(we only have a year and a half of school left), or long distance relationship.
I'm so confused on what to do. So I talked to a couple people about it and they said if I wanted to at least try it, then we could try long distance to see if it works out, if it just didn't for some reason then stay friends.
What do you think would be the best option?
I think he is completely trustworthy and we've already had a talk about that and we're totally honest with each other and he trusts me. We were also friends for a couple years before we started dating anyway so I knew him pretty well and got to know him more since we've been going out.
I'm not sure if I could handle long distance. He'd call every day and all that. I think maybe I could but I've never dealt with this before so I'm not sure.
Just any advice would help. Thanks!
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I've decided to make this my last question to answer before I close my account.
You know, I've got a friend here who has a boyfriend who lives in Alaska, whilst she is here in the UK...that's definitely more than 6 hours (I think!) and she needs to wait months before she can see him. Their relationship (as far as I know) is still going strong and they talk regularly using Skype. So they would fit in with the long distance relationship. Come to think of it, I have many friends who can handle long distance relationships. Yes, they miss their other halves like crazy but they cope well. Just the knowledge that they're going to see them soon is enough to keep them going.
Now, I've got two other friends who live in different parts of the UK, but they sort of split up over the distance issue without (in my opinion) not even trying. That would fit into the remain friends category.
Personally, I don't think that the 'break up and go separate ways' is an option. If you love him, and he loves you, then that should not be on the table really.
If you do love him, try and make it work over the long distance. Set dates for when you can see each other whenever you can. Get Skype so you can talk to him for however long you want, whenever you want and for free! I talk to my parents who are 8 hours away through Skype and you hardly notice the distance. I talk to relatives in Mauritius through Skype and the distance is barely noticeable. The trick is, is to find the ways in which you can communicate with each other. In this day and age, there are many ways you can keep a long distance relationship working.
Bottom line: don't give up on your relationship. Get Skype and work out dates which you can see each other. Long distances relationships are hard, but if the commitment is there, then it will work.
I hope that helps in some way, and I wish you both a long living happy relationship :)
Triquetra....signing off for the last time.
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Hey there :)
Okay firstly I would like to say the fact that you are both considering and willing to put in the effort says alot in my opinion. A lot of couples just call it quits to hard effort you know all that.
I have had an experience with a long distance relationship myself and there were positives and negatives. We actually got to see each other often enough once twice a month if lucky. However there were problems im not going to lie and in the end we both decided it wasn't working it hurt like hell but its something everyone has to go through.
Anyway i'm not trying to be all negative just sharing this particular experience of mine.
I think you should definitely try it. I mean there is no point in just not bothering if you two still have feelings for each other and if it doesn't work you remain friends and see if you feel the same at college like you said. However be prepared.
As you know long distance relationships are never easy. Some survive others rarely do. It depends on how you are as a couple. The fact that you completely trust each other is fantastic don't get me wrong but there will be moments where someone will come along in both your lives and spark interest. You know make you wonder would it just be easier..etc. So basically be prepared for possible heart break. Alot of times I have heard of people worrying okay what if hes doing something and I don't know but if you really trust each other like you should that shouldn't be an issue.
Just give it a go would be my advice :)
I mean some people would say save time and hurt by ending it now but the way I look at this has a 50/50 chance of working out it can go good or bad.
If it goes bad at least you know you put your whole heart into it and actually tried.
Best of luck and I hope this helped you some how at the end of the day its your choice just go with your instincts chances are you already know what to do :)
If you have any more questions please feel free to inbox me.
Much <3
Jess
-17/f
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