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Boys
16/f
So this is probably gonna be long...
Well I have a boyfriend of almost 2 months. We really like each other and all that. We were friends for about 2 years before we decided to date. He is my age.
Then there is this guy who I've also been friends with for 2 years. He's 18 and we liked each other. But we decided nothing to happen since he's going to college. He'll be coming home for breaks and all that and I'm gonna go to the same college as he is, not because he is going there, it's just always been the plan. Don't know why any of this matters..but yeah. I've had a crush on him for over a year. I liked him more than my ex boyfriend of 10 months. We told each other we liked each other and all that and he'd call me and you know, we were really good friends. We talked about future and us and all that.
I'm also best friends with his sister so I'm always at her house. She's totally cool that we like each other and all that.
Well last week during our break I was at their house. His sister had to leave and only he and his mom was home and it was like 1am. We were texting and then he asked if he could come in there when his mom fell asleep. I knew something was gonna happen. I knew I would be cheating on my bf but I thought about it, I liked him for so long and he's finally into me and I didn't want to let it go. So we just made out.
Ok, yeah, I admit it was wrong but I can't take it back. I'm not planning on telling my bf either. I'm not one to cheat on someone, I've never done it before obviously but in all honesty, this guy would be the only guy I'd ever do that with.
So I realized that it was a mistake. I still like my boyfriend and have little feelings for my friend.
Mostly because my friend likes another girl that I'm sorta friends with. I mean it hurt because I had just made out with him a few weeks ago and then I find out he also likes her. I'm not jealous, I just feel a bit used. He told me he wouldn't use me and he didn't. He said he still likes me. I believe it but it just brought me to thinking that I'm not as good as the other girl and he'd rather be with her than me. They're the same age too. I just hate the feeling of being compared to her. It'd be hypocritical of me to be mad that he likes someone else because of course I'm with someone else. That's not the case though. I'm just confused.
I'm not quite sure what my question is and I spent all night crying over this situation so I basically just vented and I need someone to help me out or give me some advice. Also does this make me a bad person? I feel the guilt but I can't take it back..
Thanks so much!
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Good plan on not telling your boyfriend. You obviously aren't planning on continously cheating on him so telling him would only hurt him, and you don't want that to happen. So I think you're a good person for sparing his feelings :) as far as the cheating goes, you're only human. You seem pretty logical about this, you thought about it, and you feel guilt for it, and you know that the guilt is the consequence of cheating. So you learned from your mistake and that's always good. For the other issue, about the guy liking another girl, don't sweat it. It doesn't make her better then you in any way, shape, or form. We all are attracted to very general qualities and you 2 probably share a lot in common. It sounds to me like he thinks liking this girl might just be more conveniant for him. Which, of course, isn't even up to you, much less your 'fault'. So overall, it's ok to feel guilty, but you can't really do much about that...it will fade over time. You shouldn't compare yourself to this other girl, you like to boys and he likes 2 girls, you and this other girl. So you should understand how it's not about choosing one over the other, it's just about liking people's qualities. And, above all, you are definitely not a bad person. You made a mistake, you learned from it, and you're trying to make it right by not doing it again. So you sound like a pretty good person to me :)
Goodluck! -jess 16/f
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Hey there,
I think you should not tell your boyfriend that you seen the other guy.. BUT if you have stronger feelings for this other guy and feel the need to be with him more, then you should dump your boyfriend and be with him. It isn't right to be with two guys at once. Your friend probably thinks it is okay to have feelings for another girl, for you two aren't officially dating.. so it is alright for him to think of someone else. Besides, you are already claimed right now as it is (as you know).
Please don't compare yourself to another girl. We are all different: you have your talents, she has hers, you have your personality.. and she has hers. You are confused because you probably feel you should be with your friend when you already have a boyfriend. Ultimately, you have to decide who you really want to be with and make it happen. What you did does not make you a bad person, it just shows that you are trying to sort things in your life out and weren't sure where to find an answer.
You wouldn't know if things would go well with your friend if you didn't see him that night. Just as, you wouldn't know how good your boyfriend is if you had not dated him. You did not cause much harm this time. Just know that you should finish one relationship before you start another... and the person who you feel stronger for, deserves all the votes
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