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my parents stress me
i'm 21 f and i just can't handel all the stress my parents are putting on me. i want to date this guy and i'm too afraid to tell my parents. since i got out of a serious relationship a while ago they don't want to see me hurt and i get that. but i live alone and need to make my own choices and the fact that they keep pushing me to be single really bothers me. i know that they care and all but i really like him and its not like its going to be serious right off the bat. what can i tell my parents to make them stop stressing me out and telling me to bee alone.
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They definitely don't want to see you hurt. They also don't want to see you with a "rebound" person just to have somebody in your life. They want what you desire for yourself but for it to be completely right before you take that leap again.
However, at 21 you're an adult and need to make your own choices and let the chips fall where they may. If it really feels right go for it and if your gut gives you an indication of doubt don't.
How should you deal with parents reaction? You can't control how anybody is going to act in any situation so don't try and don't worry. If he's a good fit for you they'll recognize it.
What you need to do is start dating this person and when ready set up dinner with mom and dad and bring him with you. Don't mention him until you know he's sticking around. If they ask about dating before then tell them it's casual and nobody solid yet until you know he's the one.
The other thing and I not sure if you are in college but it applies to career too is that your parents don't want you messing up your education or job by being totally unfocused and him being a distraction. I think that's likely your parent's other reason for concern.
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You are letting your parents control you too much. They mean well, but you're 21, you live alone, and you know what you're doing.
There's no reason for them to even know about it.
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Hey there :)
I can understand totally where you are coming from.
Like all parents they worry and they care SO much and thats lovely to know but everyone needs breathing space to be themselves and to do their own thing,have their own experiences,get hurt,grow and make their own mistakes.
You need to sit down and talk to them. explain how much you love them and appreciate their concern but also let them know you feel pressured and a bit trapped.
Tell them you just want the chance to experience things for yourself. Parents are their to love protect &support. tell them they should support you and trust you to make your own choices.
If things don't work out at least you figured things out for yourself and gave it a go. There is no point sitting back and letting life pass by you need to live.
Believe it nor not the best things in life come from making mistakes and learning. But hey things could be great with this guy.
And you are not rushing into it which is great.
Try to make your parents see all this once you explain it they should see it from your point of view. Im not sure how strict/protective they are but at then end of the day if they don't agree you are 21 and its your life. Don't let anyone influence your decisions in a negative way.
I hope everything works out for you and that this helps some how! Good luck
Much <3
Jess 17/f
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