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Young, over weight, and scared to get sexually active.
Well l am a teenager and I'm dating a guy who has A LOT of experience. He wants to have sex, and I do to but there's only one problem....I am over weight and I have stretch marks on my stomach. I don't think he knows because I haven't told him and I always wear a shirt around him. We've been dating a long time, we know all about protection, and I can honestly say I love him and we are planning on getting married when we graduate high school. But I need help, I am scared to death that when we are going to have sex he will take one look at my disgusting body and never want to get physical like that again. Please, any advice? Serious answers only please. Thank you for your time.
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hey don't worry guys arn't that observant trust me. i had the same problem and didn't tell him afterwards i mentioned them and said i was surprised they didn't bother him and he said "where, i don't see them" so you don't have anything to worry about and if he plans to marry you he loves you and strech marks can't break something special like that
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Guys do not notice stuff the way girls do, and we certainly don't pay attention to things you find wrong with yourself the way you do.
It literally does not matter in the slightest to anyone except you. My wife bitches at me all the time for not noticing when she does something different with her hair. I notice "up" or "down" because I don't like "up". That's about the extent of it, and I only pay attention to it because it changes.
By the same token, I've thought she looked nice and commented on it and gotten annoyed looks because she didn't go through any trouble that particular day to look good and she can come up with three or four times in the past month when she did try and I didn't notice.
We're oblivious. Truly oblivious. Unless we're gay, but then that's not really a problem for you, either.
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Hey,
He seems sweet and committed, so I doubt he will
take a look at you and leave. This isnt how reality is, so stop worrying for starters. He seems like he makes you happy, and I'm sure you make him happy, why else would he be with you for a long time? He won't care about any of that sort of stuff, everyone has flaws. My advice to you? Is be happy,bold and confident! Dont let him know that you're self conscious otherwise that could also come across as you not wanting to do stuff with him! And if you cant be confident about it, then FAKE IT. Fake the confidence and soon enough you will start to think that way and become truly confident. Dont put yourself down, I'm sure your super beautiful, inside and out.Good luck! Be confident and Fierce girl.
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We come in all shapes and sizes. If he genuinely loves you a few stretch marks and weight won't matter. He cares about you and your personality first or at least he should. Although he's experienced he probably feels nervous about his body too.
Weight is something you have control over. What you need to do is see a doctor and get on a diet that you can stick to and will work. That will help with some of your fears.
As far as sex goes if scared of anything hold off on it. Start talking to him about expectations and fears and learn all you can before doing anything.
You're the only one who thinks you're disgusting due to your size and that's wrong and very sad. I'm sure he cares about you wanting to lose weight but doesn't or won't think of your body as ugly. if he did than he shouldn't be with you or seeing it period.
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Well if you two have been together for a long time like you say .and if he loves you then he loves you flawes or not .don't be so self awere of your flawes everybody has them .your either too big or too skinny or too short or too tall and it goes on and on .if you plan on getting maried you aren't going to hide it from him .just bare t all ! You might be suprised .my wife used to weigh 200lbs and now she weighs 150lbs so you could emagin the stretcmarks and flab on her .but it doesn't stop me from getting to my most intament moments with her .why ! Because I love her no matter what its uncanditional .that's what its all about flawes or no flawes .so don't wory about stretchmarks .just be comfortable with yourself .and he will be comfortable with you .and if you please him he wll please you .trust me you will thank me latter .
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Hey there :)
Okay firstly let me start by saying you are definitely NOT the only person who has felt this way.
Many girls have felt self conscious about their bodies before becoming intimate. Its normal.
Honestly though if your boyfriend loves you and cares about you these things really won't matter to him! Hey probably,no strike that he won't notice!
Almost every girl I know has stretch marks they feel embarrassed about. Myself included I have them on my thighs and some on my hips.
Like you I was scared about what my boyfriend would think when we got intimate and I was surprised in two ways..
1. He didn't even bat an eyelid.
2. He had some too!!
You need to learn to love yourself. Not in a conceited way but in a positive self image way.
You are not disgusting. You are beautiful and you better start believing it! :)
He will not be turned off he loves you.
even if he is well then you will know he wasn't worth it plain and simple. People that shallow and conceited are never worth it and need a wake up call if they want to survive in life.
But as ive said before he won't feel this way.
Hes with you because he loves YOU. :)
Talk to him about your concerns your worries tell him how your feeling. sometimes all we need is a little reassurance to make us feel at ease.
So talk.
I hope this helped if you have anymore questions please feel free to inbox me.
Much <3
Jess 17/f
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