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unintentionally hurtful comment
About a week ago, my boyfriend Scott and I (we’re both 18) were hanging out and we saw this guy jogging, and Scott said to me, “his boobs are bigger than yours!” For some reason – perhaps I’m just being neurotic and silly – my feelings were really hurt by the comment. Since then I’ve just been feeling really ugly and self conscious. He called me this afternoon and he was all like, “hey, I noticed that you’ve been really quiet lately. Is everything okay? You can always talk to me if you need anything.”
Am I justified in feeling this way? I know that this is a completely ridiculous thing to ask for help about but... I’m kind of at a loss of what to do. I don’t want to talk to him about it because it’s so embarrassing, and I won’t have him think I’m an insecure, hypersensitive wuss.
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I agree with Matt.
Also, I'm going to start trying to find opportunities to slip "moobs" into conversations now.
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No, you are not justified in feeling this way. Yes, you are acting like an insecure, hypersensitive wuss.
When he made that comment, he wasn't disparaging you. He wasn't even thinking about you. He said it to be funny, not to make some dig against you.
As long as you're going to be involved with guys, you should know that males don't usually have ulterior motives when speaking. He meant precisely what he said; that guy apparently had bigger boobs than you, or at least large enough moobs that the hyperbolic comparison to yours would be humorous.
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I can totally understand why that comment bothered you, but it doesn't seem he meant it that way. If anything, he was insulting the guy...not you. The fact that he noticed you weren't being yourself lately shows that he is a good friend and has genuine concern for you. I would just let it slide. If it happens again, speak up...but just one time isn't a big deal.
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Hey there,
Ok firstly I'd like to say I completely understand where you are coming from. All of us have our insecure moments and times when we just have zero self worth. Us girls especially.
I know you find it an embarrassing thing to talk about but you need to tell your boyfriend how your feeling. Otherwise nothing will get solved and you will drive yourself crazy thinking about it.
He won't think you are a hypersensitive wuss!He is your boyfriend explain your not mad about it and you know he didn't mean that as an insult to you but that it got you feeling down and you can't help it.
Sometimes all we need is a little reassurance to brighten our spirits and make us feel better.
Im sure he will understand! After all he said "you can always talk to me" didn't he?
He will not flip out and think you are weird. He is an 18 year old guy surely he his mature enough at this stage to realize little things can get people down every now and again. :)
Talk work it out be reassured. Most of all love yourself. Not in a conceited way but have a positive self image you are NOT ugly remind yourself of all the great things about yourself. Its how we learn to deal with these small little insecurities which stops them escalating into something huge and much more serious like depression etc.
So please talk to your boyfriend :)
I had a similar experience except it was me who made the comment and my boyfriend who felt insecure which was not my intention! So it just goes to show that guys feel this way too. (it was something silly about size.)
I really hope this helped and that you start feeling better soon.
If you have anymore questions at any time please feel free to inbox me.
Much <3
Jess
17/f
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