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humorist-workshop
A male toying with my feelings. Not sure what to do.
Where do I start. In May or 09 I met a guy (online yes). We were just talking and friends whatnot. We hit it off pretty well, and exchanged cell numbers and would text a lot. By January of 2010 I started to develop really strong feelings I guess.
I told him that I liked him, and he told me that since it was just online my feelings couldn't be real, but he was flattered.
to make this as short as possible.The next couple of months, I'd practically speak to him every single day. Except for June, when he had a crush on a girl for the month and pretty much stopped talking to me. When that didn't work out, he came back to me, telling me how much he missed me and then ultimately dropped the L-bomb on me. Saying that he loved me more than a friend but not romantically, because "it'll never be" (talk about being stabbed in the heart) He said he loved me intimately..?
I, of course, told him I loved him back. Which I'm 90% sure I do love him back. But I can't help but think that he's only saying that just so I would "stay by his side" (metaphorically of course) It seems like when he's lonely, or something. Just recently he sent a heart and said 'Mine looks more real, it reflects my true love for you' And then after that he always starts to get distant, and indirectly makes comments that I need to find boyfriend (or a girlfriend -_-)and get over him.
My question is. How do I get over him? I can't block him, I'd feel too terrible, but how do I back away. I've already turned off my facebook chat because of him. Sometimes I even avoid my msn, because of him. I just can't shake the feeling that he's the one I might want to spend my life with, but also can't shake the feeling that he's just using me as a fill-in until he finds somebody else.
We're not together, nor have we ever been together. And he's all I think about all the time. I just want a feeling of peace without him in my mind.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I'm SURE I could find a story to make you feel like I relate to you and your story personally. But then again, you wouldn"t have come on here and post your tribulation and trials to a bunch of strangers outside of your personal friend circle. So this is gonna be a straight shot answer.
You've wrote this posted several days ago. Have you REREAD OUT LOUD to yourself? You should. Now imagine, you are not the poster of it. You are the replier. You'll see that you've stated all the red flags and power plays and the intelligence you have to distinguish how each move made, was purposeful. This guy is a LONELY HEARTS PREDATOR. Which makes you his prey. Know matter the insecurity... Let this not be a continued example of you "Living Life"... Okay?
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Hey there.:)
Wow can I totally relate to this situation.
I have most definitely been in your shoes.
I know how it feels,he probably says such nice things to you that make you feel so special and significant,like you are the only one that matters. Then the next day he is cold..different off?
I had a guy just like that. A guy I felt I was totally in love with. He lived about 4hours away from me and I really thought it could work.
He hurt me really bad we used to talk online for hours upon hours. I would look forward to talking to him all day because he just used to make me smile and feel good about myself all the time.
I couldn't explain it I had never fallen for anyone like that before and I couldn't quite comprehend the fact that it was online.
Anyway he stopped talking to me when he found a "real life" girlfriend. I cannot tell you how much that hurt. We were so close and talked about everything. He used to say online relationships never work we need to be realistic.
So the months went on and of course I felt so jealous I distanced myself from him and learned to love him as a friend. What happened I believe I had gotten over him. He broke up with his girlfriend and came crawling back to me. saying he wished he never thrown away the bond we had etc etc.
Like a fool I fell for all his crap again. Until he hurt me in the worst way. He became friends with a girl I met online and have known for 4years.. the two of them got together behind my back while I was under the impression we were still together. That stung the most. They have since been together two years this Christmas and have even met up in person.
It took me a while to realize guys like this are just trouble plain and simple.
From the experience I have just shared with you I would warn you to be careful. Don't let yourself be subjected to continuous hurt like I was.
You deserve much more than that. You hit the nail on the head when you said"I can't shake the feeling that hes just using me as a fill in until he finds somebody else." To be brutally honest that IS what hes doing. That feeling is horrible I know like someone has punched you in the stomach.
Getting over someone takes time patience persistence determination and hard work. But time is a healer. It will get better. What I did was go on msn less. I spent more time with my friends again who I seemed to be neglecting. I got back into my studies. It was like my life revolved around this guy and I began to hate it. So everytime I thought about him I would distract myself by doing something I loved to take my mind off it.
Call a friend. Go to the movies. Cook,watch tv listen to music go for a walk anything.
Keep busy and I promise you before you know it your feelings will begin to fade.
There will come a time when you can look at his name on your MSN and laugh,and simply feel nothing for him but friendship. Don't let him charm his way back into your life. Don't let him consume your life. Take it from someone who has been there first hand.
You never know you might find a guy who is so much better in the mean time when you least expect it. Thats what happened with me and my current boyfriend of a year. Stay positive. Distant yourself I know It kills but you can do it. When he strikes up conversation or asks a question seem disinterested. Say sorry Im busy speek to later and appear offline. It really hurts but trust me it works you feel better in the long run.
I really hope this helps and wish you the best of luck
If you ever need to talk my inbox is always open.
Take care and much <3
Jess 17/f
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