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humorist-workshop
i wanna get pregnant.
Okay, im only 14 and i wanna have a baby SO bad. My parents dont really love me((ive been told)) so i think this would help me alot. i've babysat for YEARS and LOVE children. I wanna feel loved when i come home and a baby would do that, and i think teen moms are closer to their kids. I plan on gettin pregnant in 10th or 11th grade.Am i making a mistake by wanting to do this.
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i know you have had a lot of answers but please take the time to read this:
to be honnest with you i think that its very immature for you to be concidering having a baby on purpose, and obously if your asking about it your not 100% sure that you want one.. here are some reasons why i think you should wait:
1. your gonna be in 10th or 11th grade..so are you going to drop out of high school, and if you did that what kind or future would you be providing for your child?
2. you'll need help raising this child and if your parents dont love you as you say, whos gonna help? because i hope your not planning on the father sticking around forever.
coming from a single parent home, with a young mother, who works with teenage mothers now, i hate to tell you but its total bull s*** that younger mothers are closer to thier chldren, most end up having someone else rais them anyways..
BABYSITTING IS DIFFERENT THEN RAISING A CHILD!!
something to think about: re-read you question and count how many times its says "I" its not you it will be another life that you will be in charge of, so dont be selfish.. and by the way your parents dont hate you, they may say things when they are angry or not, but my parents (the young mother and the drug attic) say stuff and i i know.. my mom.. doesnt mean it, try talking to them first before you do something drastic.
..:jenny
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i understand all your desires and needs, but your probably about to make the most worst decision of your life. by the time you're in 10th or 11th grade your going to be 15 or 16 yrs. old. this baby will destroy all your hopes and dreams. you won't be able to go to college or even have a career. your time will be spent on taking care of that baby. your going to have a dead end job and will not be happy for a pretty long time. i'm not a physic but your story like the ones on t.v. are always happening and the young ladies that end up pregnant at an early age are always miserable.thanx 4 writing:)
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You are making a big mistake it is so hard to raise a kid without a good job and a home and if you dont have any of these things you are wasting your life
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all i can say is you will regret it and that is the honest truth dont throw your life away wait til you get older i am 16 in the 10th grade but if you wanna throw your life away you do that i am not being mean but i know how it is so your choice
tiffany
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It is totally up to you but I think you are making a bad decision. Having your own baby is EAY different then babysitting. How are you planning to pay for the baby's clothes, food, toys, bottles, crib, diapers, plus all the stuff you need. If you have a baby you won't go to collage. And you said your parents don't love you, well then who would help you with the baby, and where would the father be in this kid's life? I just think it is a bad idea. Wait untill you are out of collage AND MARRIED so the baby can grow up with both parents knowing it is loved.
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No. In fact, hundreds of years ago, most women were getting married around your age, so getting pregnant at that age is perfectly fine.
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Ok, I'll be serious now.
You aren't going to "come home" to a baby. You aren't leaving the fucking house if you have a child, and if you do, that baby is coming with you. If your parents really don't love you, then you are going to have to do a lot of that on your own. Once you hit 18, I wouldn't put it past them to kick you out.
You aren't going to be able to stay in school. What does that equate to? Assuming you CAN find a job, you are going to end up getting paid a fraction of what you could get if you stayed in school. Whether you like it or not, money runs the world, and by not staying in school, you put yourself at a severe disadvantage, and you will end up regretting that decision for the rest of your life. You can pretty much plan for your life expectancy to lower as well.
You are also having a baby for one of the worst and most selfish reasons possible. You want to have a baby just so YOU feel better? No. If you aren't financially stable by the time you give birth, you are only harming the child.
So when you're 18 with no job, no money, and no place to live, at least you'll have a baby. Better start planning now. www.babynames.com
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Reading your question made me upset because I have a feeling your parents do love you, and having a baby wouldn't be the answer to feeling loved. And also, babysitting doesn't give you all the experience you need with having a baby or children. I know you love children, but I suggest waiting until you are at least 18 and are sure you are ready to start a family. I'm sure that you have friends, and just having friends can help you feel more loved. And also, God loves you more than anyone else right now. He will take care of you exactly how you need to be taken care of. Good luck, and if you have anymore questions, leave one in my inbox.
<3 mystical_breeze
XOXO
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well your really young you know? if you want one then you should have one but its gonna be alot of hard work, you might have to drop out of school and youll need mad money too. think about it
♥ bekkee
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mabey you want to feel loved but getting pregnant could be the biggest mistake ever. what if the father denies the kid is his?
how are you gonna get money for the kid?whatll your parents reaction be?you might even drop outta school.i think u should wait.live your age cuz you might regret it if you get pregnant
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It is a bad idea. It takes soo much to supply a baby with the nutrients it needs to grow.You need to buy certain baby powder mix and mix it with milk and you need to heat it up in a micro wave.it would cost a lot of money just to buy a months supply of the mix. Then you would need a job to afford the mix and the diapers.It is a very bad idea untill you are at least 25.
Sorry to ruin your dreams,
Bowen
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Ok you have to think about what youd be doing to that kid and what youd be doing to yourself here...youre kind of wanting a kid for the wrong reasons if you get what i mean, babys are adorable but if you have one in 10th or 11th grade.. do you think ur parents will take care of it? what about the guy who got you pregnant? these are al things you have to think about i think you should stick with babysitting and maybe get a pet ya kno like a little dog that you could keep in your house that way wen u get home you have someone who can make you feel loved! i have a doggy nd i always feel better when i come home nd just see him al happy.. i hope i helped
rate me please
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First of all, you want to have a kid for the wrong reason. There is no gaurantee that your child will love you. You might think you are emotionally mature enough to have the baby, but how are your finances? A baby costs on average, 785 dollars a month, which comes out to about 8,000 dollars a year (not including toys and clothes). Do you have that money to be giving away? You are going to take away your social life and education as well. I think you are making a mistake if you have a kid at 14.
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A baby isn't a toy or a pet, it's a real person. You don't want a baby for the right reasons. The reason you want a baby is for yourself. Think of what your child's life will be like. Probably no dad, poor, kids will pick on your child in school because he/she'll have old clothes and no money, your child will want to have a father. If you had a baby and stayed in school your parents would end up raising it and it wouldn't really be yours. If you drop out of high school, you'll have very few job opportunities and won't have a very large income. You'll be putting a lot of pressure on your parents if they choose to help you at all. I know this may sound a little mean to you and I don't mean to sound mean, but you are being selfish. Having a baby before you're out of high school is definitely be the wrong thing to do especially on purpose. If you had sex with someone to conceive the baby think about his feelings. What if he didn't want to stay with you, but felt he had to because of the child? Are you planning on telling him about it or just using him as a sperm donor? You'd put a lot of pressure on him too. Think of all you'd be throwing away and missing out on. I hope you feel better and I believe that even if your parents don't always show that they love you or tell you that they don't that they really do...just like you would love your own child. Don't have a child when you are still just a child yourself. I do wish you had seen that episode of Dr. Phil that was mentioned by someone else. If you can get a copy of it or something. Before you decide to have a child if you still want to there's something that you should do first to make sure you can handle some of the responsibilities it involves. Take care of a mechanical baby for a week or two. Keep track of how much money you would be spending on it...for example every time you have to change it's diaper write it down then add up how much it would cost for diapers. Think about clothes, food, toys, a bed, everything you would need for a baby. There are lots of people that would love to have children, me being one of them. I know though, that it wouldn't be the best for my child, for me, for my boyfriend, for my family and for his. Feeling the way you do is very normal, and perfectly okay. Acting on those feelings though is different. I'm sure you will be a wonderful mother one day, not in the next few years. Waiting won't hurt you, not waiting will. I hope that everyone that answered this question was able to help you and that I was too. Good luck and remember that you are loved by friends and family.
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bad idea! how will you afford a baby? i'd say wait..sorry and your parents are bitches! what kind of person does not love thier child.. sorry!
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you most definately are. i can tell you will be a wonderful mother, but not in 10th or 11th grade! its important to get a good education so you have a good job with good support so you can raise your family. wouldnt you want the best for your children? having a baby so young is NOT the answer. You wont be able to get an education, enjoy some of the greatest years of your life, and the father probably wont be around your whole life. dont you want to have a happy family? no divorces or being a single mom. being a mother is a hugee job! it takes a lot of time and money. 10th and 11th grade is NOT the time to have children. focus on having great years in high school and college..and when you find the right man , then think about having a family if its a serious enough relationship where marriage is being considered
-melissa-
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yes, i think thats DEFFINATLY not a good idea ! you may want to be loved, but think about it. you're waaayy too young. think about having to take care of it, feed it, house it. just stick with babysitting for now.
-_- briana
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thats no excuse for love! if you want love get a puppy! dont have a baby just because you want to be loved... and from expirience i think alot of teen moms are not nearly as close there parents as kids are that have parents in their 20s and 30s.
your making a huge mistake and being stupid
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Ohk wait.. 14 what are you nuts, there is way more to being a mother then what you talk about babysitting i baby sit all the time and yea seems easy because its someone elses kid. Having a baby will prob not do the job in making you feel loved and where would you go not school.. If you plan on going to school and having hte baby whos going to watch the baby? not your parents if they don't love you...your only 14 you can't afford day care. and plus i bet you really don't know what your talking about. Yea you think you want to be pregnant but you don't your only 14. To Young...
On maury the used to show teens your age wanting to get pregnant so they put them thru the test to see what they really knew and have the teens walked out crying saying they didnt know what they were talking about.
so yea i think your making the wrong decision
so yea Im out you ever need to talk you can leave one in my inbox!
kim
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hold on slow down turbo!there is more to being a mother.and you are to young.your body cant take it a hole will form in and a liqid will leak everywhere you go and no matter how much you wash you will still smell.so hold off on having a baby 4 now
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wait a min hun. i think its a very big mistake. young teens often want to get pregnant for all the wrong reason and yeah sure it would be nice to feel loved but there is sooo much more to being a parent then just being loved. you are still a kid, so what makes you want to have a kid. i would enjoy being your age and wait at least 6 more years before you even think about becoming a mom. plus with school and you would have to get a job to support this child, that would jsut be too much for a 14 year old girl to handle by yourself. and no 14 year boy wants to have a baby i'm sure. and i'm sure your paretns love you. 14 is just a tough age to go through. i really hope you think this over a lot before you go and have a baby.
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yes. if you get a baby MAJOR medical complications may occur. your baby might even die or be hospitalized. if you really love children and you already babysit, start tutoring younger children too. if that still dosent satisfy you then i guess you could adopt and newborn baby...but if you get pregnant at that age one of you might die. good luck
ANK
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Yes this is a mistake.. Even tho you plan on doing it in the future it still a mistake.. Think about your life ahead of you..How are you going to support this child with out a highschool education.. I mean you can`t get a decent job with out that.. And if you just have a child with some random guy then you won`t have a daddy in this childs life and probably no child support to help you out.. i`m mean sice your parents *don`t love you* then most likely you`ll get kicked out and have no where to go.. No money no family and no help.. And baby`s take more love then you`ll recieve.. So think about that.. ♥ Dez
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Oh sweety you are making a huge mistake--you are only 14--if you have a baby how are you going to support it--food clothes,diapers,yah you can love a baby but they need to survive--your parents love you--its called unconditional love--they may not alwyas show it but they do. I have 2 children i love them to death but if i could go back i would of waited until i was ready--i struggle very much and i am single--its not fun and you really need to wait and maybe talk to your parents and tell them how you feel. It is not all cracked up to what you think it is--really. You need to think of yourself first,finish school go to college and have fun--also when you are ready to date-or even settle it is harder to find someone who will accept you have a baby and then you have to worry about the kids feelings if it dont work out with whom ever you are with--i know i am going through it right now--yes it would definetly be a big mistake-
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Please read this>>>>>>
Your making a big mistake. Having a baby will not help you. When you have a baby it doesn't love you at first. Your the one that it depends on for everything. Your the one who has to take care of him/her. even though you babysit you leave the children with there parents when they go out. who are you going to leave your baby with. Plus you can't hang out with firends alot and the friends that you have know, night not be your firneds when you have a baby. I think maybe you should talk to a counsler and maybe they can help. You might think your parnets don't love you but they do. They just show it the wrong way. If you need someone to talk to just to listen. You can email me and I hope that I can help or just to listen. May be you should talk to some of the teen moms becuase they could tell you it is hard. Plus how will you pay for diapers and cloths and medical bills and will the father be helping if not your alone. Sorry so long but I just wanted to tell you some of thing that will happen when you do have a baby. I think you should wait. Hope I helped.
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Only you can determine when it is best for you to have a child. I can't tell you whether it would be right or wrong for you. However, there are a couple things that anyone who wants children should determine before trying to get pregnant. Please don't think I'm ragging on you when I say this. I told a 24 year old friend this same stuff when she mentioned she wanted a baby.
First, are you financially able to support the child? Children can be very expensive. Diapers and food alone can cost hundreds of dollars a month. That's not even counting the other things, such as doctor visits, clothing, toys, etc. I'm sure you don't want your baby going hungry because you cannot afford to feed him/her. Also, if you're still in school, who will take care of your child? Can you afford daycare?
Second, are you physically able to take care of a child? Do you have health problems that may make it difficult to care for a child? Are there any problems which will make it difficult to be up long hours with little sleep? Is your body even ready to carry and deliver a child?
Third, do you have the time to devote to a child. High school is a trying time, even without a child. Just keeping up with your classes will take a lot of your time. Are you willing to give up going out with friends and dating so you can be there to care for your child? Children require a lot of time and attention. You can't say well I won't do this for the baby because I have this other stuff to do.
Fourth, do you have the knowledge to care for a child? You say you've babysat for years, but do you know about the various stages of childhood? If your school offers it, I would suggest taking a parenting or child development class. It will give you a better understanding of what is involved in raising a child. If you do decide to have a child, you will have that much more to offer your child.
Last, do you have a good support system? Pregnancy is a very emotional time. I'm going on four months pregnant myself so I speak from experience. You will need someone there during pregnancy and even more so after the baby comes. It's not impossible to care for a child alone, but it is difficult.
I noticed you said that you don't feel loved and you think a baby will do that for you. Yes, a baby does love unconditionally. However, a baby comes with a lot of responsibilities. The helpless baby depends solely on you to make sure they're fed, clothed, bathed, changed, and cared for. It is a huge responsibility whatever your age.
There are other ways of feeling loved without putting yourself through the various difficulties of raising a child. Do you have friends you can depend on? Do you have a boyfriend who cares for you? Do you have a pet? Pets also love unconditionally as long as they're taken care of.
Good luck. I hope I've helped.
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I totally understand why you want to do this... but I do not think this is a good idea. You need to know how much work a baby is and how exhausting and if you feel lonely now, the lack of sleep the fact that you can't really go out anymore and the crying won't help. How would you support the baby? If you aren't close with your parents, you can probably bet that they won't be all that helpful. And friends when there are parties and proms and SATs to worry about may not find babysitting all that fun either.
Needing to feel loved and having a baby is a totally natural feeling, but if you think it through it may not be the best thing.
You can do things like working with children, volunteer in a hospital or at shelters or even at day cares after school. these kids will love you so much and you won't need to change diapers at 3 in the morning and it will help you feel good about yourself while doing good things for others.
Good luck. Keep me posted.
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There's a lot of factors here.
One is money. Have a job? Have a nestegg? Ready to start paying for a college education when you haven't even gone through college yourself?
There's YOUR education. It may not seem like it now, but you need a High School Diploma. And most decent jobs, you can't get without some form of college education.
There's time. You want a baby to come home to. Who's going to take care of the baby while you're not there? You can't just put a baby on hold.
There's the male involved. No person has a child all by themselves.
There's the fact that you think having a baby will "solve" your problems. How would you feel if your parents had said to themselves, "Well, we want a child so she'll love us."
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becoming a teen mom can rarely help you solve anything. first of, once you have the baby, it won't seem as awesome as it does now. do you really want to drop out of school? and how are you gonna take care of it? if you can't take care of the child and your parents don't want to help you, your baby may be taken away from you. think about the father: will you completely exclude the guy? will your child grow up without a father, if so would that be a good thing? there's a reason why people usually try to wait to get pregnant - they want to give better opportunities to their child. they want to be educated and have the money to grow a kid, they want the child to have both parents, and they just want to be mature enough to be a parent. my brother and his wife became teen parents eight years ago, let me tell you he's one miserable guy. he loves his child to death, but he never got the chance to get a higher education, he doesn't live with the person he loves and he had to give up his childhood way too early. do you really want to do that?
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Well you have options here. You can have a baby and stop everything you want in life, or you can wait until you're married, and have a career to have one. If I were you, I would wait until I am married with a guy that loves me for me and I love him for him and have my career set so I can support my baby. If you cannot support your baby, child services will take it away.
Hope I helped you.
x3 Kristen
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do what you think is right no body can tell you what to do, but the only thing is what would your parents think of you would they let you keep it or would they like beat the shit out of you i mean before you actually plan to have sex you should actually think about all of the responsibitlies that would come into your hand i know that you want to be loved by something but you have to think before you take action. how would you support the baby? just recently i started this project on teen pregnancy and its going good so far but would ever get an abortion if you feel you get really scared or you wont know what to do or will you find help on your wants and needs. if your parents would let you have the baby would they support you in all of your needs. and you also have to think about the guy will he take action if you tell him that you are pregnant or will he go around sayng rude comments about you because the last thing you need is nasty rumors and i know for a fact that no one likes rumors so its really up to you so do what you think is right follow your heart not your mind because what you do is what you get so i hoped i helped a lot ill be hear if you need me
hope i helped
kriddle06
you can email me at
krittleskittle69@hotmail.com
or
krisdee_2004@yahoo.com
you can call me krystal
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Awww hun. I wish I could tell you what you wanna hear but I cannot. I think having a child at your age is a big mistake. One that I dot nkow if your ready to accept and live with.
I know life seems unfair right now and you are lonely but that will change. You cant look at your life right now and determine how you will be in 5 or 10 years.
I think that if your parents really dont love you that you have even more reason to wait. You should et yourself grow up and treat yourself really good once you are in your twenties. Travel, buy yourself nice gifts... experiance the world before you decide if you really want to bring child into it.
Hope I helped you in any way.
<3Keva
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I personally think that your still too young to know wat you want to do with your life. you should wait until A:you are older, and B:you find the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with.
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Huge mistake! Keep babysitting and enjoying other people's kids and enjoy being a kid yourself. I'm 40, never had kids because my husband passed away when I was 29 and have never been in the right situation nor am I dying to have any. But my boyfriend and I got an 8 week old puppy about 5 weeks ago - and I'm exhausted just trying to raise a dog! Don't do it honey... wait until you're older. You might think teen parents are closer to their children and that's because they end up with a "buddy" and they need a "parent".
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Yes you are.
You want to wait until you are finacially able to care for a child. Kids cost a LOT of money.
You want your parents (who you say don't love you) to raise a baby for you? Its life will be as miserable as yours is.
I was a teen mom. Your life comes to a halt. If you have any specific questions you'd like answered, feel free to drop me a note. :)
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Girl, let me tell you something. You are making a really big mistake! See, babysitting children does NOT give you the experience you need to raise a child. You have not been through having to get a job, dealing with sitting up all night to check on the baby, oh, and the fact that this will kill any academic dreams you may have. You should definitely wait to have a baby. You need money to cover living expenses and that will take up too much of your education that you need to get. And, without a high school diploma, you won't have the right education to get the right job that pays really good per year. And it's not about you anymore when you have a baby because it's all/ everything is about that baby. You may like children but there's a difference when raising your own. When you have a baby, you have to think about what that baby needs because that baby is a life. A precious life is what that baby is and that baby's needs comes first. Girl, I hate to put it to you, but you're a baby yourself. Kids having kids. You're not ready yet.
Plus, the boys your age, or any age for that matter, are not going to stick around when they find out you are pregnant, they are gone! That's just the honest truth, and trust me, you do not want to be in that position. Boys when they are teenagers are not mature enough to handle raising a baby. Even if he plans to stay with you, I'm telling you, you just aint ready.
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Yes you are. Your parents love you no matter what. If you treat them with respect you'll get some in return. This baby isn't going to fulfill your life- gauruntee it wont. It's going to make it horrible. How are you going to finish school? The guy who got you pregnant will probably run off and not support the baby. If you don't plan on finishing school whenever you get the baby- you wont be able to support anything it needs. Your parents most likely wont help you in this situation- because 'as you've been told' ''they don't love you''. You trying to prove a point to them is going to do that- it's going to show them that you're irresponsible because you're not going to be able to do anything on your own after this baby. It might be true that teen parents are closer to their children, but why do you need a baby to feel loved. You've got friends. Try searching for a nice boyfriend- if you can get a guy to screw you, then you can find a NICE boyfriend that will love you whenever you come home.
It's as easy as that. You're making a horrible desicion
-tekcoreht
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