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I am a girl, currently in Grade 12, and I have had a crush on this one guy in my grade since halfway through first semester grade 9.
He is really cute, and he loves singing and history. He is really funny, but can also be quite serious. He tends to be quite loud in class(he is in no way shy), but he is so sweet and kind and honest that the teachers rarely get mad at him.
I am quite(extremely...) shy when in a group setting, but one on one I tend to open up a bit. However, I only ever see this guy in class, in choir, and when our two friend groups (occasionally) hang out together.
He is always hanging around with this one group of girls, but he would never date any of them, so I know that's not an issue. The problem is that he's always with them. I get along well with all of them, a couple are even sort of my friends, but it would be awkward for me to just join their group when they are talking or whatever. I have in the past, like if they are in my class and my regular friends aren't but its just a little awkward...anyways yeah I feel too awkward to get closer to him that way.
He jokes around a lot, and when we are in a small group of people together, he sometimes/often teases me more than the other people in the group. In class the other day, he came over to talk to me, and he asked me about why I had been late for class that morning. He has done similar things a number of times in the past.
Also, just to point out, he is straight. I know this for sure. The girls he hangs out with have been his friends for years, they are like sisters to him...
Another problem- I am scared to tell my friends I like him. I told them a couple years ago, but they laughed and told me we would make a really awkward couple (probably because I'm 5'9", and at the time he was super skinny and like 5'3", but he's grown since then). I would love to have their support, but we don't really talk about guys much, and I feel like I've been lying to them for years about this guy..not that I ever lied...I just didn't speak up...
Also, casual out-of-school meetings are difficult because he lives in a different city than I do, although we go to the same school (it's a private school). I can't just casually invite him to do something with me like randomly on a Saturday because he lives like a 45 minute drive away..
I guess what I want to know is: do I have any chance with him? and how do I got about getting that chance? (link)
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What is your situation like in regards to getting home from school? What about his? If you have the opportunity, your best bet would probably be to hang out with him while you're both waiting to be picked up. If you both have cars, maybe ask to hang out after school for a little bit before heading home? You don't have to jump right into asking him out, but you need to be able to spend some time alone with him.
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I've been going through a recent complicated break-up. The thing is I kinda rejected him because I want to get my life back together first before being in a committed relationship. I wasn't able to offer my heart back in return to this guy who loved me so purely because I got scared that the moment I say 'yes' we'd be in a really serious relationship. And the thought of being in a serious relationship scared me. I got scared and I made a stupid mistake by talking to it with another guy friend. And it almost felt like I cheated on him, he felt like I cheated. And now he's not in love with me anymore and that it's impossible for us to be together again. Which hurt so bad.
I know all of that's kinda convoluted, but long story short, I'm hurt because I hurt the one guy who's never done anything but love me so purely and see the best in me by being a stupid and weak girl. What if he's the one for me, what if I blew the chance to be with my soulmate? What if I never meet anyone who will love me as much as he did? I can't get over the pain and the loneliness no matter what I do.
I know I've made a mistake too. But I'm not aiming to get back together with him, because he's already said it's impossible. Now he just wants to be friends with me because he knows we're really close and he doesn't want to lose that and he said that I don't deserve to be abandoned completely. What should I do to get over him and forgive myself? I'm really sorry it was really long. Thank you to anyone who will help. (link)
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So your fear was that as soon as you said yes, you would instantly be in a committed relationship. His response was to freak out and get jealous about you talking to another guy before you even said yes? Sounds like your fears were well placed. It doesn't sound like he loved you purely. It sounds like he was obsessed and possessive. If he "fell out of love" just because you talked to a guy friend, he never loved you in the first place, and to be perfectly honest he sounds like an asshole and you are better off without him.
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I'm 20 and I broke up with my first love a year ago. I loved him with every fibre in my being and did literally everything for him, even if it went against my morals. I spent all the money I had on getting him expensive gifts and I stuck with him, even when he couldn't care less about me. When we broke up because of the fact that he didn't wanna deal with commitment, at this stage in his life, he wasn't upset, not even for a day. It's been over a year and I've been the only one carrying all this pain and I've been holding so much hope that we could get back together, someday. We still see each other and he kisses me and that's what gave me hope that he still likes me. But last night, he told me that he'd never even think of marrying someone like me and that he needs a submissive kind of girl who doesn't pick up on the wrong things he does, like I did.I always picked up on all his lies and everything he hid from me. It hit me all at once, last night that he's been using me this past year and using my vulnerability. I cried in front of him for two hours straight and he kept saying the same things like "You're not my first love so I can't hold that much love for you" and "I told you I didn't want a relationship" "My first made me lose all my emotions" . I don't know why I'm so attached to him or why I'm even this devastated over a jerk like him. I just need someone to talk some sense into me. I worry, that I'll never be good enough for someone. What else can I do for someone to make them appreciate me? I allowed him to cross so many limits of mine and went above and beyond for him, and I get this, in return. How will I expect the next guy in my life to appreciate what I'll do for him and not break my heart again? (link)
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I can tell you that there are plenty of guys that want a girl that will call them out on their bullshit. It doesn't seem full on that he was using you, just that you two wanted different things and had different expectations from the relationship. Yes the first love is special, and we never forget them, and I guess he is using that as an excuse, which is wrong, because really, every love is special. The heart wants what it wants. Your emotions won't care that he is a jerk. You have to use the logical part of your brain to keep reminding yourself that he is a jerk. Don't let one bad experience make you think that you aren't good enough. He isn't good enough for you. What you can do is be yourself. Don't let a guy push you into crossing your limits unless you are comfortable doing so. You went above and beyond, and it seems like he didn't put in much effort, and is now just looking for someone who won't make him put in any effort at all. That's not what you want. You can find a guy who will put effort into the relationship too. Who will appreciate you trying to help him become a better man.
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20,f
Honestly,I'm really frustrated because of my looks. I'm 162 cm tall,65 kg,blonde hair,blue eyes. I am a bit chubby but I'm not fat. I tried dieting,exercising,Herbalife products but nothing helped. Yet I feel like I don't stand a chance next to all those pretty girls out there. I see them always having a boyfriend and nobody notices me. Recently I confessed to a guy on college and he said he likes me too but treats me as just a friend. He is a shy person and he said he needs time but I think that if you like someone you don't need time and excuses such as that. I think he is put off by my body. I have a good face,I dress nice,I know what suits me but I still have no one who likes me in a romantic way. I wish some guy would eventually look beyond my unflattering body. Are there still guys in the world who care about personality? I am caring,reliable,compassionate,funny,smart,helpful and many other good things but it seems it simply doesn't matter. (link)
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Of course you have a chance. Judging from you using metric and the term "confessed" I'm guessing you aren't in the United States, so it's hard to give advice based on cultural norms here. The guy says he likes you but he's shy. Why not take the initiative?
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Ok, I'm 19 and a very feisty girl. I love to have sex a lot but when it comes to threesomes or more, ppl say its weird. Is it weird? (link)
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Some people like them and some people don't. There is nothing weird either way.
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I am dating someone who is a year older than I am, and he is leaving for college in t-minus two months. We discussed at the beginning of our relationship that when he left, we'd part ways. He is not willing to do a long distance relationship. Our time together is running out. We both still really like each other, even after half a year of dating (both of our longest relationship so far). I know I'm young, and this will pass, but right now, it's hard, and it hurts, and I just want to be with him for longer. Not forever, just MORE. What do I do, and was I crazy to even start this? (link)
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Well, two months from now... That should put it into Summer vacation for you right? Unless you are writing from another country or a year round school or some such. College shouldn't start for a few months though, so in theory, you could go with him and spend some time there until school starts? Many people do come back home for breaks during school, which could let you spend some time together, though I don't know if he is planning to do that. If he isn't willing to do long distance, there isn't much else you can do. Maybe try to go to the same / a nearby school to him next year, and if you are both still single and interested then see where it leads? Or maybe talk to him and see if he has changed his mind about the long distance thing?
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Im 13 and a girl im related to a boy i fancy we are related throuugh marage can we have sex and not be inbread (link)
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Yes, inbreeding only happens for physically related people. You'd probably still get funny looks from people though because of how society looks at it.
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This question is for all the guys out there
My boyfriend is 17 and im 16 but i was just wondering, do guys really like eating out their girlfriends? I know they like the girls reactions or whatever but do they actually get turned on by the action of doing it? Same goes with fingering their girl, do they really enjoy that too? If so, why? And be honest please theres so many curious girls out there with this question! (link)
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Some guys do and some guys don't. Some guys will do it just to make their girlfriend happy and some won't do it no matter what. It's pretty much the same as girls and giving blowjobs.
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I'm hoping an outside perspective will help me figure this out. Sorry that this will be long.
So I met a guy at work and he asked me out. I'm 22, he's 19. He's shy, has never had a girlfriend, so I thought I could trust him.
Our first date was amazing and it got really intense really fast...we ended up seeing each other every day (even on days when he was busy, he'd still come by to kiss me goodnight). I slept with him, which worried me but it didn't seem to ruin things. He treated me like a princess and we were both so happy.
Then after almost two weeks he all of the sudden got weird on me...stopping wanting to see me every day...in four days I only saw him once and it was so different, he was way less affectionate and just seemed zoned out. Finally he dumped me, saying that I "wasn't his type". I kept asking him to explain more and he would just say "I can't" and avoid eye contact.
The next day we talked and all he would say was that I "wasn't right for him".
I was really confused and hurt, I texted him asking if he could be a little more specific. He never replied. When I saw him at work he was way more friendly and flirty with more than usual...he tried to get them to move him to the register next to me and followed me around a lot.
I'm just confused...did I do something wrong? Did he just totally use me? I can't get an answer from him. I'd love to just forget him and move on, but I have to see him every day at work and it makes me really unhappy. What do I do? (link)
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Never had a girlfriend also means never broken up with someone, so clearly he was pretty bad at it. I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt in that he told you the truth about never dating anyone / being a virgin in which case he just doesn't know how to properly do the whole "it's not you, it's me" thing.
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Ok so I have a small crush on him but he is constantly hugging me from behind and he lays his head on my shoulder and offers me his jacket I don't know if he's being nice or if he likes me and there's times when he will just hold me today he told me he didn't want me to leave after school when I was getting on the bus so what do I do? (link)
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He likes you, he might just be afraid to actually say so out loud. You could always make the first move.
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i like in chicago illinois & i was wondering where i can go to meet guys... that are pervs
im a senior in high school (17, female) (link)
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Are you sure you didn't mean "aren't?" Because you pretty much can't swing your arms in high school without hitting a few pervy guys. I mean, you did put "are" twice... so don't go anywhere special, pervs will come to you and hit on you at lunch or something.
If you did mean "aren't" then I'd say join a club in school, one that caters to your interest but would also attract decent guys, maybe something on the brainy side? It's been a while since I've visited Chicago, but I remember there being a pretty cool science museum there, the displays are interactive so you could strike up a conversation.
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K so a few months ago, there was this thing between me and this guy at school. He lead me on and and I initiated some as well. So when he made further plans if we could go on a date and stuff, i of course said yes. But then
when it came closer to the date, a few days before it he cancelled and bailed on me and said that he just couldn't go through with it at the moment cause he still had feelings for this girl that he never went out with. So of course I felt hurt and disappointed , but eventually I moved on and didnt give a crap about him. But then today, he came up to me after weeks of not talking to each other and asked if we could talk. He said that he did a lot of thinking and that he wanted to give us a try again and said that he was really sorry of what happened.
So then he asked if we could go on a date, and of course me not wanting to say no and disappoint him I said yes... It was a spur of the moment kind of thing . So now here after a few hours of thinking I just don't have a good feeling about it.. Like now I just keep doubting that I may not have that same strong feelings for him as before ... Help !
P.s that girl never liked him back in the first place and he supposedly told me that that girl now has a boyfriend and that he and her are now on good terms and are friends (link)
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He tried and failed with this other girl and now he is going after you. If you are OK with being his second choice then go date him, if you aren't then don't.
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I have been dating my boyfriend for a year now and we live together. He is best friends with his ex girlfriend, which whom he talks to every day. They text at all hours of the night and have a very odd friendship. one time I was going through his messages and he had a message from her at 3 am telling him to come over and "cuddle". We have gotten into arguements over this girl many times and I don't know what to do anymore. He cheated on me during the beginning of our relationship so I am of course paranoid. He swears to me they are just friends but my gut tells me other wise. How do I approach him with this or should I let it go?
He dated her 2 years ago and lived with her. I have told him that I don't want him to cut ties with a close friend but I there is nothing I want then for him to cut her off. (link)
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The whole texting him at 3am to come over to cuddle is definitely crossing a line, but it's only really serious if he did it. I'm pretty close friends with one of my exes, and though I'm not seeing anyone right now, it wasn't a problem when I was. Normally, I would be pretty much on his side, and telling you not to worry, because being friends with an ex isn't too uncommon, but the fact that he's cheated on you in the past makes it less likely that you are making something out of nothing. He definitely shouldn't be texting back and forth with her while lying next to you in bed. I'd suggest talking to him about some of this more serious behavior. Make it clear that you aren't asking him to stop talking to her (even if that really is what you want) but point out that he's going overboard and ask him to tone it down a bit.
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Hi, firstly thanks for taking the time to read my question :)
Basically my good friend Dena has tried fixing me up with a guy who she is really good friends with. It's been on-going for a few months....I'm shy especially when talking to guys I like. I always worry about what to say which is why I think I feel this way. Anyway she said he's not great with girls. We've got along well face to face and we have kissed quite a few times. But, I always text him first (and this is difficult because I'm nervous about what to say and struggle to keep asking questions as I don't want to seem annoying) he does message me every so often like he asked me last week if I wanted to go to the cinema one time. Do you think he likes me and is shy like me? Or do you think he's not interested? (link)
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If he's kissed you more than once, he is pretty clearly interested. As your friend said, he isn't great with girls, so he might have a hard time coming up with a way to start a conversation (or keeping it going.) He's asking you to hang out, so he isn't completely inept, but it definitely seems like he's just shy.
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So my FWB has been texting me everyday, wants to hang out all the time, invites me out with his friends (even when it doesn't involve drinking or partying), uses pda when we're together, wants me to sleepover, remembers things I say (even if they're insignificant), and his friends call me his baby girl.... I'm not quite sure if we are fwb or talking. Also I'm pretty sure he's not talking to any other girls because it seems like he's always asking me to hang out even before he makes plans. When we're together he does boyfriend-like things like hold my hand, put his arm around me, etc. Also when we meet up it's not always sexual. Sometimes we just cuddle and hang out. Is there a sign of something more or is this how all fwb situations work? Please don't tell me that fwb is slutty or bad or that I shouldn't be doing this, I just need an honest opinion. Thanks :) (link)
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Friends with benefits consists of both "friends" and "benefits." The things you mention could certainly fit under the "friends" label, though it does seem to be going over the top a bit. You probably want to have a discussion with him so no one gets hurt.
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Kissing a man on his neck (link)
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Well I find it hot.
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17/f
Theres a guy in one of my classes-I think he likes me, because he's always looking at me and on the one occasion when we did talk he kept laughing at my jokes.And he shuffles awkawardly when I answer in class
I overheard him say (but he doesn't know) blah blah... 'but I'd never ask her out because I don't think she likes me...'Then his friends looked across at me.
So I'm 60% sure he likes me but then he could be talking about someone else. Should I add him on facebook to show interest or will this backfire if he's not interested? We've only had like 2 conversations.
Thanks for any advice :) (link)
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Just add him... I've added plenty of people after a random run in at a party through a mutual friend. It's pretty safe and there's pretty much no way it could backfire. Even if he wasn't talking about you at that point, you can start talking to him and maybe he'll fall for you?
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it's like he's always trying to make me smile or laugh, by joking around or just acting silly in general around me. we have the same sense of humor so i usually respond this way, or if he makes some random noise or something I'll be like "what?" and just giggle. he does a lot of random things like that and he doesn't say why. i'm confused!
i've never seen him act this extroverted towards anyone else before. sometimes he teases me over nothing, too. we sit next to each other in class and often when it's quiet i feel like there's this awkward tension between us, but idk if it's just me, since i have a huge crush on him. but we've never addressed our feelings towards each other. i don't know him that well. we're both these reserved, awkward teens
why does he feel like he needs to impress me when i'm already crushing on him! hard! why won't he just ask me out if he likes me, or even ask for my number? he's not a player or anything, too, he's the geeky/nerdy type (well, so am I) and i've never seen him dating another girl actually. we're 17 btw (link)
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Maybe he is just too shy to ask you out and can't read the hints that you like him back? You can always make the first move you know.
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I'm 15f I want boys to like me but how can I get them to I feel like the guy should make the first move but when I do I feel stupid bc it ends up failing and me being upset... I want to be happy I seem t cry way to much and I hate it I want to be happy and carefree I hate having to care about what to do bc of boys I just want to be happy help (link)
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boys do like you. might just not be the boys you like. you dont want to make the first move because youll feel stupid if it fails. well thats what boys deal with too. if you like a guy make the fist move. will it fail? it might. so then you try again next time you like a guy. most will appreciate you taking the pressure off of them making the first move.
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My boyfriend of a year and a half broke up with me on tuesday and I haven't been doing too well..
He actually did it for reasons I can understand. He has had a drug problem and been trying to get a hold of it and he also feels like hes not going anywhere in life and since im in college, he is "holding me down". He told me he wanted to better himself and that one day he wanted to make it work between us again because he really loves me and could see himself spending the rest of his life with me. I was crying a lot and stayed with me for about an hour just trying to comfort me. but eventually he left and of course I was still crying. He was up in my town visiting me and said he was going home (this was on tues) but this morning I woke up and something I accidently left in his pocket was outside my door. So it means he was really just hanging out with his friends all week, which im not gonna lie hurts. It especially hurts because he was right in front of my door and didn't come in and say anything. We have been off and on before and he always ends up coming back saying he wants to better himself while dating me and that hes scared to lose me. This time I just felt so much more real. I'm so confused and hurt. I don't know how to explain it but I know I can't be with him right now because he will keep doing this, but I still long for his return and wonder if he ever will. I'm so heartbroken and sad and I know talking with friends helps, but they are all tired of hearing about it. And my mom just tells me to move on. But I can't. Do you guys think he will come back within a month? Normally he only leaves for like a week and then calls me :/ (link)
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Yeah he'll come back, and then leave again. Sorry but the whole "I'm holding you down" thing is only a step above "It's not you, it's me" as far as breakup cliches go.
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