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Doubting feelings
K so a few months ago, there was this thing between me and this guy at school. He lead me on and and I initiated some as well. So when he made further plans if we could go on a date and stuff, i of course said yes. But then
when it came closer to the date, a few days before it he cancelled and bailed on me and said that he just couldn't go through with it at the moment cause he still had feelings for this girl that he never went out with. So of course I felt hurt and disappointed , but eventually I moved on and didnt give a crap about him. But then today, he came up to me after weeks of not talking to each other and asked if we could talk. He said that he did a lot of thinking and that he wanted to give us a try again and said that he was really sorry of what happened.
So then he asked if we could go on a date, and of course me not wanting to say no and disappoint him I said yes... It was a spur of the moment kind of thing . So now here after a few hours of thinking I just don't have a good feeling about it.. Like now I just keep doubting that I may not have that same strong feelings for him as before ... Help !
P.s that girl never liked him back in the first place and he supposedly told me that that girl now has a boyfriend and that he and her are now on good terms and are friends
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Dates can only help you further you relationship, hangout and have fun. Get to know one another and in no time at all your heart will help you understand just how exactly you feel about him. Over thinking and analyzing can kill the "romance" when you start playing the "what if game," and create different scenarios that will confuse you and give you a reason to push away. If he's ready and willing to give it a go, then what's the harm. Take it slow, no rush. The fact that the other girl is on good terms with him, is just another reason for you to go ahead; She's not interested, it's free game.
Sorry I was late on replying
- Eli
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If your gut is giving you a bad feeling about going on a date OBEY that thought. It's usually right. If he jerked you around making you think you were going out on a date before to cancel in favor of dating another girl what does that tell you about him?
He has a lot of nerve and isn't too bright to come crawling back for a second chance with a girl he should not have treated this way before. He has to learn his lesson and see that he was wrong. Unless you want to get hurt don't give him a second thought or chance to trod all over your heart. He's bad news and doesn't treat women right. This time cancel with him and tell him what he did last time was the reason.
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He tried and failed with this other girl and now he is going after you. If you are OK with being his second choice then go date him, if you aren't then don't.
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It's ok to have doubting feelings because you don't know how you feel about him. Even though you're doubting it, I'd still go through with the date. Because it's just one date, he didn't ask you to be his girlfriend or anything so just go and enjoy yourself. If you ended up enjoying the date and can see yourself with him, then great. If not, then if he asks again, just explain that you only see him as a friend.
It's not bad to doubt or try new things so I say go and try to enjoy yourself. You don't have to commit to him if you don't want to.
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Well,this is kinda complicated. I suggest that you try it again. Give him a chance. Of course,right away you start thinking that he's coming back to you because the other girl dumped him or never loved him back or whatever. Maybe,you'll never know. Then,there's also this confidence problem. You'll probably think that he might let you down again since he's already done it before. Girl,if you really like this guy,take your chances. I bet you didn't just say yes when he asked you out again for the sake of just not disappointing him. Life is full of difficult decisions to make;and I think that relationships' are the hardest. Hope I helped you a little. Good luck! And of course,you can tell me later how it went.
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You may as well go on the date. You've already accepted. If you are still having doubts about your feelings for him after the date, then you don't have to see him anymore.
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Hey hun,
You sound confused. Do you like him much?
Whether you do or not my advice to you would be to call him up and apologize sweetly. You don't seem up for it anyway. Tell him "hey I would have loved to go out but something came up and I have to cancel"
If he goes like yea it's ok see you around, this means he's just spending time. If you won't go out with him he'd find another girl to go out with, no big deal for him.
If HE says something in the lines of "well let's plan another date" then you should give him 2 days in which you are available and he shall choose one. "I'm free on x and y." He shall choose the day and take it from here.
So we're basically giving him the benefit of the doubt and in the meantime we don't wanna give the message that we're at his beck and call.
Keep me posted hun
Best of luck
Angie xx
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im not getting you question, but i think ill try. So you dont have strong feelings for him, he likes someone else, just go on the first date and then after that you will just have to say that between you and him there is no spark. Dont worry to disappoint him, because we guys get over things after a while. hope this helps :)
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I wouldn't blow it off, I would just go with it. At least he was honest about having feelings for someone else instead of dating you anyway. Perhaps he needed some time to get over it and sort out how he really feels. If he blew you off again then I would move on and say no if he asked again.
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Too be honest, it sounds like you are this guys "safety net". Go with your gut. If your gut is giving you warning signals then don't ignore it! It's his loss! He can't have his cake and eat it too. Especially if you've moved on from the previous situation, then there's no point in bringing it back up. If he has really thought hard about it and really wants to be with you, he'll put in the effort to prove it.
With that being said, one date won't hurt. If you find yourself conflicted, then give him one date. If it doesn't go well, or you still feel odd about it, then you'll know you gave it a shot.
Always put yourself first.
xoxo
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