Hey everyone. :) I'm Lindsey, and I'm currently 17 years old. I mostly like to give advice involving sexual health and sexual education, partially because I find it interesting, and also because so many teens aren't as informed as they should be. Please keep in mind that I have no medical training and don't consider myself an authority on any of the subjects which I offer advice on. I do try to provide facts but talking to your doctor is ALWAYS a better alternative to asking someone online.
E-mail: kirkdip1234@hotmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Canada
Age: 18
MSN: kirkdip1234@hotmail.com
Member Since: April 17, 2008
Answers: 73
Last Update: April 2, 2013
Visitors: 4945
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Can people that cause a car accident be charged with a crime even if one of the victims live or die?
My aunt and uncle was in a car accident the other day. My uncle is fine, but my aunt's eye popped out, she broke her leg and she's unresponsive in the hospital. The doctor says she has fluid on her brain. My aunt & uncle were on the free way and 3 cars crashed together because someone's car stopped on the freeway and the second car hit the first car, the 3rd car hit the second car. The cars crashed because of the first car stopping in the middle of the freeway. If something happens to her can the people that caused the accident be sued and charged for what happens to her?
(link)
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yes, absolutely. if you cause a preventable death in most places it's considered manslaughter, which is a criminal offense.
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I was thinking the other day and if you have sex and you don't have an orgasm then it doesn't matter if your guy cums in you, right? Because the orgasm is what makes your egg come down to get fertilized, right? Something like that, I think. So, if the girl doesn't have an orgasm can she still get pregnant? ;) I was thinking that maybe my boyfriend and I could have sex and stop before I climaxed and then we wouldn't have to worry about me getting pregnant...
THANKS! (link)
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If you don't understand the basics of sex and contraceptives than you are TOO YOUNG and/or ignorant to be having sex. Please abstain until you have educated yourself. You sound absolutely retarded putting yourself at risk when you're obviously not mature enough.
Sorry to be a bitch but honestly, so sick of hearing this garbage. If you didn't understand how to drive would you take your parents truck and use it? Obviously not. So if you don't understand sex why would you imagine that you're ready to do it?
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My boyfriend and I REALLY want to have sex in the shower for our first time. He said his friend told him that if we use some sort of soap (like bar soap or even SHAMPOO) that we won't have to worry about me getting pregnant. That way we won't have to buy condoms or anything too. Sounds great, yeah? :D
My parents are going to be away this saturday for a little while and I thought about asking my boyfriend to come over and we could do it in the shower. ;) I'm kind of nervous about the soap thing though because I don't want to end up being a pregnant teen.
:) Is it true that you can't get pregnant if you use soap as lubrication during sex in the shower?
And, if so, what is the best soap/shampoo to use for lube in the shower? ;) ;) THANKS (link)
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You are too young to be having sex if you don't understand the basics of contraceptives, plain and simple.
If you're ignorant to how sex works then how the hell could you possibly think you're mature enough to do it? Your friend is an idiot, and so are you.
Probably not what you wanted to hear but entirely true.
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Alright so.. I'm just gonna jump right into it I guess.
throughout highschool I was in a relationship with someone that caused me a lot of pain and stress. we dated for four years and then ended on really bad terms. at the time, I thought I loved him, but in retrospect I definately did not. But I stayed with him because inside I was terrified that if I ended things, no one else would ever want me.
But eventually we did break up and to my suprise, people did want me. Lots of people in fact. I've dated around since (we broke up last April so I guess for around 10 or 11 months now) and for the most part being single has treated me really good
so good in fact that I really, really haven't been seeking a relationship at all. I'm normally very straightforward with my partners, in fact most of them know from the day I meet them that I'm not interested in being somebodies girlfriend. Just the idea of it makes me feel.. honestly physically sick. I look back on my relationship and see how twisted and poisonus it was, and how much he manipulated and controlled me over the course of those four years. I was very cut off from my friends and loved ones and it made it so hard to get out. I didn't feel valuable and I was sad all the time.
This, on top of some abuses in my childhood that I won't delve too much into, has made me really wary about every putting myself in a similar situation. I've been treated so poorly by men throughout my life & I've really reached a point of feeling like I can't trust people.
Anyways, so that brings me to my current situation. Around two months ago I started texting this guy.. we have a lot of mutual friends, and his number was in my cellphone so I just kinda randomly decided to start chatting him up. I knew who he was and had always thought he was pretty attractive and whatnot but never really gave him any thought because he was out of my league, as far as I was concerned.
But we instantly hit it off and just had so much to talk about. I really liked him right from the second I 'met' him, if you could call it that. Anyways I won't detail the whole courtship because no one wants to read that, but basically we ended up meeting, and chilling, and hooking up. It all happened very quickly and came so easily. It really felt natural and at the time soo good.
Since then, we've been seeing eachother every couple days for about a month and a half. when I see him, I normally spend the night, then most of the following day with him. we have a lot of sex (often three times per visit) and he is by far the best lover I've ever had. Plus we connect really well intellectually and we make eachother laugh constantly and everything just.. flows. There is an obvious emotional attachment that has been building up, enough that we both comment about it. Anyways, lately he has been dropping hints like crazy that he wants to be my boyfriend, and I feel like.. I should want to. Because I do want him. I can picture a future with him and I like it. I enjoy every minute of my time with him and when he goes away I feel so depressed, despite knowing I'll see him again soon. I talk to him every day, every opportunity I get, and we're constantly seeking out eachothers company and trying to align our schedules.
But I feel angry, sick, and absolutely terrified every time he says anything about a relationship. I warned him from the day we met that I didn't want one and now here he is, pressing me to be with him, and I like everything about him and I don't have an excuse but.. I just wanna run in the opposite direction as fast as I possibly can. If it were anybody else, if he hadn't already developed into a close friend and if I thought I wouldn't be destroyed if I lost him, I would have already bolted.
But all I want is for things to stay the same. And I feel him pressing and I don't know if he's gonna wait for me. And I'm not sure if I should even make him wait because he has been so great in every way, and more than I deserve, and he's soo much more attractive than me (lol I know it's shallow that it's a factor, but honestly, I couldn't have imagined that a guy like him would ever look at me. He's just so beautiful and I'm completely addicted to every inch of him and it makes it soo much harder to differentiate affection from lust..), and who knows if I'll ever find anyone so compatible to me agian? I mean I really have been blessed to meet him, and I think that sincerely. He's perfect and I just wish I could make myself fit together with him but.. I don't know how.
When I think about a relationship I still get that sickening, dreadful weight in my stomach. And when he suggests it I just feel like somethings horribly wrong and he wants to manipulate and control me in just that same way. Even though from everything I've learned about him, he would never do that and doesn't even seem to have the capacity really. It wouldn't be in his nature. He's a better person than I am in every apparent way and yet.. I can't bring myself to trust him for even a second. It's so scary because.. if someone this perfect can't change my thinking, can anyone? Am I really gonna be alone forever?
I don't want to lose him but I also don't want to be with him. And I feel like at some point he is gonna offer an ultimatum. I don't know if I should just say.. fuck it, if he isn't willing to wait then he isn't worth it, or if I should reconsider? Because I mean seriously from his perspective, I wouldn't want to wait for someone with no promise of it ever changing either, who literally feels physically sick at the aspect of a relationship with me. It isn't fair to ask. He should have everything he wants but.. part of me feels like he expects too much or I'm too little or something along those lines. I just can't imagine the relationship being anything more than stress and pain and constant anxiety over losing him.
I'm so scared that something inside me is broken for good and that I'm never going to be able to offer someone more than casual sex.
I don't want to be that girl but.. I'm so sick of being alone and I can't force myself to be close to someone, and what else is there then? Physical intimacy is the only kind I can stand.. and it's better than none at all.
I just don't know what to do. I don't know if I should cut him loose and just forget all of this and continue as I was. If I should beg him to wait. Or if I should just jump.. Because I know he's a good person, who cares deeply about me and has no apparent intention of doing anything to hurt me. Because he's quickly becoming my best friend, and I don't want to use the word 'love' so early but.. I couldn't have imagined or fantasized a better partner if I tried. He really is among the best people I've ever met, and by far the best person that I've ever been sexually attracted to. I love his mind and his way of thinking and his strength and his sincerity and.. I just wish I were better somehow, and this came easier. But ever since it started getting serious it's been nothing but stress and late-night crying and watching shitty love movies, as far as I'm concerned. :P If a relationship is good, then why does the mere idea make me feel so very very bad? It's like someone puts a plastic bag over my head, and I just feel suffocated and blind and scared beyond explanation..
So uhh yea, what should I do? :P (link)
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just an update for anyone who might have been curious
he did end up asking me out tonight & I said no (despite the most of the advice I recieved)
I really appreciate everyone's help. In the end I just feel like if it were right, I wouldn't be so terrified.
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Alright I've been studying the religion for quite some time and I know that this is what I want to be. It's everything I've ever believed in. I have a sister in-law whos wiccan and she's been explaining some things to me too (wicca is paganism with magic, I'm just pagan...no magic) but I only told her I was interested and haven't just come out and said to anyone that I believe in Paganism. I need help making the jump from learning about it to being it. I'm really secretive about it too which is probably making it difficult. My town has a small pagan/wiccan community and they're all very open about it but they're all middle aged people and I'm 17 so I'm not about to go knocking on their door to talk about converting.
Any tips to give me the push I need to actually commit to paganism?
Thanks! (link)
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I actually had a similar problem when I converted to Christianity. I didn't have any Christian friends, and in fact, knew that a lot of my friends would completely disappprove of my conversion. I literally went to church in 'secret' for almost a year.
For me, the big move in becoming open about my religion was pretty simple. When I finally felt okay with people knowing, I bought a crucifix and made myself wear it every day. Eventually my friends asked about it, and I was able to casually explain that I hard started believing in what it symbolized.
I don't know if Paganism has any sort of emblem that you wear (pardon my ignorance, I haven't studied up on it at all. up until now I actually thought Wicca and Paganism were the same thing..), but if there is, and you think other people would recognize it as such, then you could do the same thing.
Other than that, I just started trying to work into conversations, first starting with the people I knew would be coolest about it. I don't know if Pagans have churches or anything (again, sorry about being so ignorant!), but if they do, I would definately suggest attending some services so you can meet like-minded people. If they don't, then you basically just have to go about your business and wait for them to come to you. I have found that people who think the same eventually attract eachother anyways, in a weird way.
I think the biggest part to taking the leap is actually just making the conscious choice to call yourself a Pagan. If Pagans have certain rituals or prayers, I would suggest practicing them until they feel natural to do.
That's about all I can think of.. sorry if I wasn't much help. :) Much luck.
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Age16/Female
I've been with my boyfriend for a little over four months and although it's a short time, I'm so in love and he says he's in love with me too. We live a half hour away from each other but we always see each other on weekends and now that summer's here, we'll see each other more :)
We haven't had sex but everytime we hang out, we always end up making out and doing other stuff on my bed. We've been talking about sex lately and we both feel ready and responsible enough. Big problem though: my mom is always home and we have no where else to go where we could be alone, well we can't think of anywhere anyway. Help please! (link)
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If you have to worry about your mom catching you, you are too young to be sexually active. You need to obey your parents rules until you no longer live with them.
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i hate being fingered. i can never get past the "need to pee" feeling and make my boyfriend stop. - but i hear that anal is better. does it hurt more for the girl or less?
i'm just curious. (link)
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Personally, I absolutely hate being fingered. I don't think it's even a little pleasureable, it does nothing for me. However, I do occasionally like anal. It all comes down to personal preference, but for me, as long as I relax and use lots of lube, it can be kind of fun. But that's just my perspective :)
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I'm going to try and make this brief.
There's this guy that I've been talking with a lot lately, but our friendship is still new. And I think he's known a little bit as a flirt, but I feel like he's different around me, and he said he was "nicer to me" because he "kind of likes me" and when I told him i kind of like him, too he said "yeah right" because it "didn't seem like it" and all this and we flirt some in school and a lot in texts, and he talks a lot about hanging out and hooking up but I'm really shy in person and he kind of seems like he is, too. However, he's been paying a lot of attention to me lately, and hanging around me and just being a lot more present and talkative since I started really showing interest back in him. I like him a lot, like a whole lot, and I know he at least likes me a little, but I don't know if he likes me in a way that would make our friendship more than that, or just in a way where he wants to hook up, or if he's just a big flirt. He's a real big joker and kidder and everything he does in person is kind of exaggerated but through texts he's sweet and compliments me and acts more personally.
But here's the kicker, he's got a girlfriend. He doesn't know that I know for sure that he does, and he hasn't said a thing about her, and he acts like he's available and like he's interested in me.
I don't want to pursue him if he isn't interested in me the way that I am in him, and I don't want to be just another hook up for this guy, I'm not that type of girl.
So I'm just wondering what every girl wants to know-does he like me or is he just a big flirt? Any thoughts are appreciated.
We're both 18, if that matters.
Thanks in advance, :]. (link)
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I really don't think you should be considering this at all, knowing that he has a partner. You need to back off unless they break up. Imagine how you would feel in his girlfriends situation- finding out that your boyfriend is hitting on this girl, and pretending he isn't with someone, and this girl is trying to start a relationship with him. You're not being very empathetic at all. I think that as long as he's with someone, the rest of the questions are pretty much void. Because regardless of whether he likes you or not, he already has a girlfriend, and they both obviously care enough about eachother to be in a relationship. If he preferred you to her, he wouldn't be with her and would be pursuing you. Like the person before me said - do you really want to be 'that girl'?
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In your opinion (or learning from personal experience), what are the pros and cons of a open relationship? (link)
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Pros:
-you can do whatever you want, and with whomever you want.
-you don't have to be accountable to anyone but yourself.
-your partner will be less clingy and attached.
Cons:
-your partner can do whatever they want, and with whomever - which leaves lots of room for you to be jealous.
-even assuming you aren't jealous, your partner might be.
-generally, one person always develops deeper feelings and wants to be exclusive. It's a delicate balance.
-if your partner is still dating others, they may either find someone they prefer, or at least occasionally blow you off to spend time with these others.
-you can not expect their undivided attention or affection.
-generally, if both participants aren't on the same page and pretty laid back, it can lead to a lot of arguing.
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13/F
I have stretch marks (badly) on my boobs. Whats up with that? (link)
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I got those too. They often happen when your body develops really quickly. The good news is, there are ways to deal with them.
There is a selection of stretch mark creams in pretty much every drug store in North America. These range from 10-40 dollars a bottle, but the most expensive ones are not always the best ones. I found that anything with a lot of vitamin E is the most effective, so just look for one of those.
Anyways, other than that, stretch marks DO fade with time. I benefited from the creams and my stretch marks were almost gone, when I switched birth controls, increased a cup size and got brand new ones. At this point I was so frustrated with trying to 'fix' my body that I stopped using the creams and just decided to accept it for what it was. Anyways, it has been a year and a half since and my stretch marks have faded so much that you really can't see them unless you're looking pretty hard. Unlike scars, which are much deeper, as your body sheds old tissue and new skin emerges, your stretch marks will eventually disapear. But if you don't wanna wait, definately look into the creams.
I know you probably aren't concerned about it at this age, but for future referrence, no guy is every going to be put off by stretch marks. A few lines are hardly going to distract them from the fact that they're seeing some breasts! Your body is beautiful regardless.
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Ok, I've got a few friends who's parents abuse them. I don't feel like I should report it or anything because it's there choice whether they'd like to stop it or not and I wouldn't feel right intruding on their family's issues. They usually just tell me not to tell anyone, so instead I help them through it by kind of being everyone's "counselor" I guess you could say. I give them advice and help them out and stuff. Well, recently me and the rest of our sports team were in the locker room and my best friend was talking about how she hated her dad so much (she is abused as well). Then another of my friends speaks up and says "well at least your parents don't hit you!". Now, at this, I had to respond "neither do your's". I've met both of her parents and they both are very VERY nice. Then she states, in front of EVERYONE, plain and simple "yeah, my mom does. She beats me like bites and scratches and kicks me". Of course, being the friend that I am, I didn't want to state the obvious; she doesn't ever have a scratch or bruise on her. Ever. Not that I look for those sorts of things, but I'm quite an observant person and usually notice stuff like that. And the fact that this girl stated it so simply, so out there in front of everyone just kind of made me have a bit of doubt. I mean, I know it's terrible because you're supposed to trust your friends and stand up for them, but I'm also good at knowing when people are lying, and I just don't think this girl is telling the truth. First off, this girl is huge. She's the strongest girl I know, I've ever known for that matter. And her mom is a pencil. She's tiny. If her mom ever laid a hand on her, this girl could definitely fight back. Second, I've met her mom and her dad. Her dad is quite and practical and really funny. Overall, great guy. Her mom is very supportive and loves me. She's come to all of our team's tournaments and always cheers my name, as well as others from the stands. She's kind of like our cheerleader, I guess you could say. She's basically just the sweetest woman ever :) I hate having to doubt my friend, but this friend also claims to be annorexic and bulimic and she is very open about that as well, which I find very odd. I mean, if I was bulimic or anorexic, the less people who knew the better. She just openly states these things like they're no big deal. I just don't know what to believe. Anyways, after she said that in the locker room, everyone just kind of stopped talking about it, so no one really adknowledged it. I kept thinking about it though, kept turning it over and over in my head. If she would lie about something as serious as abuse, She's probably lying about all of her other medical conditions she claims to have just so people will pity her or give her attention. And this, quite frankly, kind of ticks me off because some of my friends actually DO have to deal with their parents being abusive. Some of them DO actually call me on the phone, crying about how their dad just asked for them to have sex with him. And some of them DO come to school all bruised and beat up and tell me how their step dad basically beat the shit out of them the night before and their mom stood there and did nothing about it. Some of them DO stop coming to school for 2 weeks because their mom's fiance came home and destroyed their home and beat up their mom in a drunk rampage and they have to stay at a women's protection facility. These are some of my best friends, and I'd like to be able to trust them about something serious like this. I actually do no trust most people, considering I can tell when they lie. I only completely trust 2 people, and they're family. So when I say I believe my other friends that they have problems, it means something. But this girl lying to me just saddens me because I know there's nothing I can do to stop people from believing it. And I'll sure as hell feel sorry for her mom if this actually gets around and it turns out the girl was lying. But most of all, I'll feel sorry for myself if I don't believe this girl and someday she comes back to school bruised and beaten up and crying about her mom snapping on her. I'll have lost a friend just because I was skeptical about such a serious issue. And it doesn't feel right to be skeptical about it, because people just don't lie about these types of things. And yet, the fact remains that I am doubtful of her claim to abuse from her mom. I talked to a friend of mine who is really abused and she seems to think like me. Well, she believes that this girl is lying just to try to be cool or get attention. I just don't know. I wish we lived in a world where we could trust everyone, but we don't. No such world exists. And that is why I came here for help. Basically I have 2 options;
1)Let it go. No one has said anything about it for a week or so. Don't randomly accuse her of lying about something she said a week ago that no one has talked about since.
2)Confront her about it privately. She'll either reject saying it, in which I could bring the witnesses into it(which I'd rather not do because the more people involved, the greater the drama) and prove that she had indeed said such a thing. Or she will continue her story and get mad at me for doubting her, in which case I could lose a best friend.
I don't know. Part of me wants to know the whole story, see the proof, know it's real. But part of me wants to just forget about it and hope it never comes up again. Please help me. I just want to take action, whether that means avoiding the topic in the future or confronting her in the present. I'll rate all the answers, based on how good they are of course. Thanks for those of you who took the time to read this, I know it was quite long. (link)
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Okay, first of all, I have to say that I find it really disturbing that your friends are confessing all these horrific things to you (ex. a father asking his daughter for sex) and you aren't doing something to STOP IT. Regardless of what they say, it is your role as a friend to help protect these girls. Just comforting them isn't going to prevent it from happening again, and isn't nearly enough. Not wanting to interfere is definately not a reasonable excuse for standing by and letting your friends deal with this for any longer.
I come from an abusive home, and was beaten by my male gaurdian basically right up until I got old enough to fight back, at around 13. The early years of my life were absolute hell & I lived in constant fear, and I imagine the situation is at least as bad for your friends, if not more extreme. The thing is, I honestly felt like there was no help for me. I went to social services and was told that unless I was locked out of the house or hospitalized, they couldn't remove me from the home for more than a week at a time. And for me, I felt like leaving for a week and bringing all this attention to him, only to come back, would just put me in a much more dangerous situation. I don't know if the system is the same where you live, but my point is this - PEOPLE WHO ARE BEING ABUSED CAN *RARELY* HELP THEMSELVES. Whether it's the logistics or simply the emotional barrier and the shame that burdens almost every victim, it is very hard to reach out and actually recieve some kind of meaningful help. Although our society is becoming more aware, attitudes like yours are what let people continue to live in the prisons that abusive homes are.
I really feel like these individuals are begging for your help, whether you believe it or not. I personally never discussed what was going on in my home with friends until long after it finally subsided. The fact that they have the courage to bring it to you, in my opinion, isn't just for the purpose of venting. They need someone to stand up for them in the ways that they can't stand up for themselves. I don't know what your parents are like, but I know that if I had asked, many of my friends parents would have taken me in for a while, no questions asked. Often distance is what is needed in these situations, and if you can help offer that to them, you need to. You should also be alerting authorities - I can't gaurentee they'll help very much as it really does depend on the situation, but it is the responsible thing to do.
Frankly, the fact that you're so concerned about this but you mention the atrocities that your friends are living through so casually seems pretty twisted to me.
But that rant aside, you could address this girl that you suspect is lying by saying that you're concerned about her home life, which you should be. You are right in saying that it's a pretty serious thing to lie about, and remember, everyone deals with these situations differently. It could very well be that she is telling the truth. But I think a sure way to tell would be to try and discuss it with her privately, going to her as a concerned friend whether than a skeptic. This way you could get the details, decide if they seemed realistic and continue from there, without insulting her by being critical right out of the gate.
Anyways, that's all I've got. I really urge you to start thinking about help that you can offer these girls. I understand that your living situation might not provide room for them, but you do need to be taking every step you can to protect them. You should discuss it with your parents and with a higher authority like a social worker or the police. Typically authorities are more on your side if you have an adult to vouche for the situation. If you aren't trying to help, I don't think you can consider yourself a friend at all. You can rate me really poorly for saying that, as I assume you will, but it needs to be said. Man up, girl.
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Is sex (in marriage) for a Christian just for reproduction? I am a Christian and I don't plan on having sex before marriage. So is sex for a Christian not allowed for anything but reproduction? (link)
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Wow. The person who posted prior to me, couldn't have said it better. Amen x 3.
Although I wouldn't go as far as to criticize the contents of the Bible, certain church organizations do, in my opinion, use its contents to excercise control over people. And to say the least, that's really sad. It's certainly not up to them, or anyone else outside of your marriage. The deciding factors should have to do with what your husband wants, want you want, and without a doubt, what God wants.
But as for what exactly God wants, I'm hardly an authority on the manner. You have to talk to Him, and seek His advice through both scripture and prayer. Ultimately you will come to your own conclusions, as everyone interprets His words differently. As long as you're trying to include Him in your choices and in your marriage, you're on the right path.
For me personally, I would tend to agree with the last post - God created men and women (bound by marriage) to enjoy eachother. He has blessed us with the ability to be incredably intimate, and if He didn't want us to enjoy it to the fullest, there probably wouldn't be so many crazy hormonal and chemical reactions going on in our body when it happens! Nothing about our design is an accident. It isn't some dirty physical act, but a spiritual and emotional bond that our bodies happen to facilitate. The Bible does forbid lustful thinking, but I think what one feels for a spouse is (hopefully) far beyond the description of 'lust'. As long as the sexual activity is powered by LOVE, I think it must be sanctioned by God. Love is the greatest gift He gave us, so anything done out of love for eachother is just plain awesome. :)
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just a few questions about shaving your clit..
1) do you only shave downward?
2) how do you avoid red bumps?
3) how many days after you shave should you wait to shave again? (link)
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Women do not grow hair from the clitorus. If you aren't old enough to identify your own body parts, you probably not old enough to be shaving them.
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My boyfriend likes when the girl is on top and he likes when they take charge and are really aggressive....well..i'm shy, and quiet. I've thought about pushing him onto the bed, holding him down and having my way with him but when it comes down to it and we're actually together..i dont know, i just dont do it. I'm not against it, I want to be more aggressive but I don't know how. (link)
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I used to have the same problem! Both my boyfriend and I are naturually more submissive, but SOMEONE has to take the role of dominant. One thing that really helped me get over the self-consciousness and nervousness is simply turning the lights off. When you get a little more secure in this new role, you can turn 'em on again. Another thing that I found really sexy, is blind-folding him and tying him up. ^^ He was completely at my mercy but at the same time I didn't feel uncomfortable, because a lot of it came from having him look at me. It's harder to just enjoy when you're trying to look sexy while doing it! And once you've discovered how much fun being the aggressive one can be, it'll just come naturally.
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Okay , So i am pregnant at 14!!! I am a christan and i no i was not suppoed to do this but i was broght into temptation.. and i am not sure how to tell my parents or my church family? Will i have to move to a different church? (link)
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I just want to say that, unless there's an entirely different adoption system in place where you live, TheTruth is wrong about adoptive parents just randomly being able to decide you can no longer see your child.
Basically, there are two types of adoption, they are an 'open' adoption, which is when the adoptive parents are obliged to send you updates and information about your child, and you are able to choose if you want to spend time with/have contact with him or her. In agreeing to an open adoption, the adoptive parents are agreeing to the biological parents playing some kind of role in the childs life.
The second is a closed, or private, adoption. This is when the adoptive parents and the biological parents both agree that it would be more suitable for the biological parent to not be part of the childs life in any way.
I'm just adding this in because I think it's important that you know that adoption doesn't necessarily mean somebody is just going to take your baby away forever. There are various options & if you're considering it, you can research the best one for you and discuss what the father might also prefer.
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im 19/f and have been with my boyfriend for over a year now. We've had sex quite a few times but we just had a very intense talk recently and he has decided that we won't be having sex until my views change. Im personally against abortion, but thats just me. Other people can do it, I just wouldn't be able to handle it. When we have sex we use condoms and Im on the pill. He's just so worried that something will go wrong and i'll end up pregnant and we both arent ready for kids. I just don't think its fair that I have to change my beliefs to make love to my boyfriend. We're pretty much 100% safe. If anything did go wrong, I'd pick up some plan B the next morning. He's just so afraid we'll be that unlucky 0.1%. I don't know what to do... (link)
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Personally, I think your boyfriend has a point. I don't believe in abortion myself, but you guys should have been having this discussion BEFORE you started having sex. I think that if you're mature enough to be having sex, you should be mature enough to make a plans in case something unexpected happens. And if you can't agree, perhaps you need to abstain. As someone cited before, it wouldn't be fair to your partner to have his life complicated by an unwanted child. And it wouldn't be fair to you to have to raise a child without the support of its father.
But it's not as though abortion vs. raising the child are your ONLY options. There is always adoption. Yes, that's 9 months of your life you won't get back, but it's so that you can give your baby a life and a family. In my opinion, that's a small price to pay.
Some excellent 'selling points' for adoption are that you're not financially responsible for that child, but if you look into an open adoption, you can have contact with them & watch them grow up. Ultimately, the adoptive parents would have the final say when it came to how they were raised, but you would be able to be part of your childs life.
There is also the option of closed adoption, where the biological parent chooses not to have contact with the adoptive family or the child.
There are so many families out there just praying that someone will choose them to adopt their baby. And like I said, it's nine months of your life. If your boyfriend weren't ready to be a father, and you weren't willing to bend your beliefs, adoption could be a possible compromise.
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ok i am a girl. i have never had an orgasm from sex or masturbation or anything like that.
this is totally weird and i dont know what is what but the other night i woke up in the middle of the night and i honestly felt like what i would think an orgasm felt like that....i have no idea...then it happened again last night...can any one explain? (link)
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Yes, that was probably an orgasm. I had that happen to me once as well, when I was around 16, and I immediately looked it up and read all about it :P.
It does happen more commonly for boys, but it isn't impossible for women. It is much more rare.
Interestingly enough, most boys have sexual dreams prior to this happening, whereas most women who experience it do not. Suddenly your body just.. goes off. Anyways, it's nothing to worry about.
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I have a weird lump in my left breast. But I am only 14. Its been there for about 1 or 2 weeks. Can you get breast cancer when you're only 14? I'm not sure, but I'm scared it might be something. Or are lumps normal? Its in my nipple, but I can't feel it when my nipples are hard.. (link)
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It is possible to get breast cancer, regardless of age. The younger you are, the less likely it is, but it is still possible. The trick with all cancers is to catch them early, because the sooner a doctor can identify it and decide on a treatment, the better ones chances are. This is why you need to schedule an appointment with your doctor promptly.
Whenever you have concerns about your body, the best course of action is always to ask a professional. As a woman, it is so important that you become comfortable discussing your concerns with you doctor. My biological mother passed away as the result of breast cancer in her early 20's, but it probably started developing in her teens. If they had caught it earlier, the cancer would not have been so advanced and it would have been easier to fight off.
I'm not trying to scare you by any means- chances are, you're completely fine. There are a lot of different reasons that you might have a lump in your breast, and most of them are completely harmless. It'll probably go away on its own.
But it's always better to take precautions when it comes to your physical health, so make sure to get it checked out as soon as possible.
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17/f
what are you suppose to do after sex? i know it might sound weird asking but i just dont know. so you have sex and when your done what do you do? just get dressed? and just be like okay well it's done...? i know it's different for many people but i was just wondering what people do after they're done having sex with their boy!! also is it going to hurt AFTER having sex, and if so how long will that pain last? thanks!! (link)
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Personally, my boyfriend and I normally lay in bed for a bit and snuggle, then get up and have a shower together. Afterwards we curl back up in bed all warm and wet, pop in a movie and just chill out and enjoy eachothers bodies for a while. ^^ It's nice.
But it really does depend on your relationship. Personally, I'm not a fan of clothes. I'll stay naked pretty much until I have to leave. But if you aren't as comfortable, or maybe don't have a very intimate relationship with your partner, then you might just get dressed and continue with your day. Every couple is different.
As for the pain thing, that is definately unique to every woman. Personally, I was never sore or uncomfortable after having sex. There was a stinging pain when he entered me and for a while during, and then it just kind of faded away into pleasure. Even now it still hurts a little when we start, but it's a good hurt, if that makes any sense. However, I have friends who I know have never experienced any pain from sex, including when losing their virginity. Others have complained about being sore afterwards. It really just depends on your body.
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I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time and I didn't enjoy it at all, or the next time, or the next time. Is there something wrong with me? Yeah, the first time we did it, it hurt at first but after the pain went away I still didn't enjoy it. It wasn't pleasurable and it wasn't him I don't think I just didn't enjoy it. And I was kind of anxious to try it again to see if it'd be any better but it wasn't. Does it take time, or am I weird... or what?
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Yes. That is totally normal. It takes time for a lot of reasons, and to be honest, some women never truly enjoy sex. It's all about the comfort level, and how well you know eachother. If it doesn't feel good, try something else! You both have to be willing to experiment and find what works for you. There are so many different ways that people find to experience sexual pleasure, and although I can't give you explicit advice on here- just know, there's something out there for everyone. If you're honest with him, you guys will find it eventually. :)
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