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Open Relationships
In your opinion (or learning from personal experience), what are the pros and cons of a open relationship?
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Open relationships seldom work well, and usually only work well with people who are a bit to a lot socially mal-adjusted.
The biggest problem with an open relationship is that by definition it can't be that strong. When you don't dedicate yourself to anyone specific but hold yourself open to new people, things don't usually work out that well.
Its a ton of needless complication.
Cons include increased risk of STDs, issues if someone becomes pregnant by accident due to having to figure out who the dad is and hoping that its a guy who actually wants to be around the mother, jealousy, a lack of emotional fulfillment, etc.
I've not met anyone who considered themselves to be "in an open relationship" who had an age appropriate level of emotional maturity.
Having sex with people other than your partner in an open relationship polyamory situation is almost always a bad idea. Thats the reason most people who like ideas like that end up being swingers. Because most people recognize that you NEED a stable partner to share things with but also to place you and for you to place as first priority.
In my experience, open relationships are a result of people who are scared shitless both of commitment and of being alone at the same time spending time around each other. Rather than seeking a deeper trust and understanding with one person you have many shallower relationships to try to make up in quantity what you lack in quality.
In the most simple terms, its not possible to have a truly deep, committed relationship in an open format. It can take years to know and adjust to one person, decades sometimes. Doing that with more than one person lessens the commitment to each of them to some degree.
I've only seen one example of how a relationship works well with more than two people, I have a couple of friends who live together in a trio similar to polygamy. My friend is a straight guy, and his girlfriend is bisexual. His girl met another girl whom she had feelings for, formally dated, and fell in love with. The girl joined in their relationship and they are all three a "couple". My friend fell for the second girl, and she with him, so each of them is fully in love and committed to the other two people. The girls have outlets for both straight and lesbian desires. They do, from what they tell me, occasionally bring in other people, but its a mutual choice for their mutual sex life, all three have to want it and the other person isn't someone they date, just someone they play with and are friendly with. The actual relationship is set in stone with just the three of them.
It works only because each of the trio is capable of helping take care of the other two's emotional needs, and the commitment in the relationship is universal. Both women plan on having my friend's kids, living with him for the rest of their lives, etc. There is still only one relationship, shared by three people instead of two. They sleep and live all together, decisions are made by all three and a ton of compromise has to be made. They have to each consider an additional two points of view in every situation instead of just one plus their own.
And it took them a long time to work things out well enough that the relationship was anything like stable. They could not have worked it out had there not been a commitment present between each person in the group.
Open relationships don't work like that. Its alot of drama that no one should deal with, and most people I know who try open relationships find them unfulfilling in the long run.
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Well if you have an open relationship in my opinion you shouldnt be in a relationship. i mean you can still go on dates with this person and what not but i wouldnt classify yourselves as being "together" it will just turn into a bunch of fights and its not fun.
The cons to being in one is that you can see other people and your not just tied down with one person.
But like i said i would just not be in a relationship at all and just date around.
Hope i helped =]
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I honestly think an open relationship is pretty stupid.
Cons:
Jealousy.
Greedy.
Tension.
Dirty.
Classless.
Pros:
Single.
If you want to see more than one person, be single. If you want one person all to yourself, then be in a relationship. Do not waste someone's time so you can act like you're single. :| It's just set up for heartbreak, and it's just not even classy.
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Pros:
-you can do whatever you want, and with whomever you want.
-you don't have to be accountable to anyone but yourself.
-your partner will be less clingy and attached.
Cons:
-your partner can do whatever they want, and with whomever - which leaves lots of room for you to be jealous.
-even assuming you aren't jealous, your partner might be.
-generally, one person always develops deeper feelings and wants to be exclusive. It's a delicate balance.
-if your partner is still dating others, they may either find someone they prefer, or at least occasionally blow you off to spend time with these others.
-you can not expect their undivided attention or affection.
-generally, if both participants aren't on the same page and pretty laid back, it can lead to a lot of arguing.
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