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My Child
Okay , So i am pregnant at 14!!! I am a christan and i no i was not suppoed to do this but i was broght into temptation.. and i am not sure how to tell my parents or my church family? Will i have to move to a different church?
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Its your body and your choice. No you will not have to move to another church. You would be very suprised how accepting christians and other people of faith really are. I would keep the baby, every life is so precious. I will pray for you and the child.
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At how young you are, it is highly recommended
that you look into getting an abortion. The sooner
you let your family and a counselor know about
what's going on, the easier the transition for
everything will be to you.
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I just want to say that, unless there's an entirely different adoption system in place where you live, TheTruth is wrong about adoptive parents just randomly being able to decide you can no longer see your child.
Basically, there are two types of adoption, they are an 'open' adoption, which is when the adoptive parents are obliged to send you updates and information about your child, and you are able to choose if you want to spend time with/have contact with him or her. In agreeing to an open adoption, the adoptive parents are agreeing to the biological parents playing some kind of role in the childs life.
The second is a closed, or private, adoption. This is when the adoptive parents and the biological parents both agree that it would be more suitable for the biological parent to not be part of the childs life in any way.
I'm just adding this in because I think it's important that you know that adoption doesn't necessarily mean somebody is just going to take your baby away forever. There are various options & if you're considering it, you can research the best one for you and discuss what the father might also prefer.
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At this point your major decision is what you're doing with the baby, not what you're going to tell your parents. They will find out, and if you have a plan when you tell them, it will be a little easier for them to hear. Either way, it's going to be bad. Expect crying, yelling, and the most disappointment you've face thus far in your life. However, if you can keep your composure and try to get them past the point of acceptance and to the point of planning as quickly as possible, things will go more smoothly.
Option one: abortion. Seeing as you're Christian, there's a good chance this option isn't there. It's a fairly simple procedure, but you don't have much time if you're going this route. If you want this, and if you're parents allow you to have one, you can have your life back, but I would urge you to seriously think about the consequences of sexual activity in the future.
Option two: Adoption. Giving a baby up for adoption is always a good compromise. You don't lose your entire life, and the baby gets to keep his/hers. An orphanage can allow you to still visit the baby and play a part in their life without taking much of a financial role in the baby's life. It's not as good as a family, but being raised by a fourteen-year-old is not a good situation for a baby either. Understand that if the baby gets adopted, the parents may request that you not visit the child any more, so that's a possibility.
Option three: keep it. If you think you're going to keep the baby, start applying for a work permit. As soon as you can legally get a job, get one. Understand that the next years of your life will be full of 80 hour weeks with little sleep and no free time. You will rarely see the child and you will more than likely put a lot of the responsibility of raising it on your parents. If you think you're strong enough to endure 10+ years of having school plus two or three jobs, then do it, but many people don't have the strength to do that.
With the guy, if he doesn't know you're pregnant, you need to tell him as soon as possible. A lot of people tell you to make sure he mans up, but I see it as being more an issue of giving him the right to contribute his opinions as well as those of his family to this child's future. He and his family need to get involved in decisions, and I urge you to get them involved ASAP.
With the church. It depends on how strict your church is. The community will probably be critical, so be expecting that. However, excommunication would only be necessary in some particular branches of Christianity. What happens here will happen. It's more an issue of what you and your family feel comfortable with.
Good luck and stay strong. Hope things work out.
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Omg!What were you thinking?!Sorry,I won't judge you,here's my advice.Talk to your parents and decide together what you should do.You should also tell that boy that he's gonna be a father and demand that he takes a full responsibility for this.I assume you are going to give birth so you can't raise the baby alone!As for religion and all,I don't think you'll have to move to a different church.Don't worry,it'll all be fine.
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I'm so sorry hun. I'm Christian too.[Well, I'm Orthodox, but it's a Christian religion] Temptation is a bad thing, and, trust me, I've done it too. I think you should start off by telling your parents. Sit down with them, and be calm. They're more likely to freak out more if you're freaking out. It really depends on your church. But, I'm sure your parents will know. Good luck!!! Keep me updated :]
Much love,
xmcrgirl5x
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