advice~gurl's

advice

Ive got a friend who ive liked since ive known her, we made out a couple times and have admitted to liking eachother but then chose not to date, shes got a bf now, what kind of things could i do to make her know i really really like her still, do i wana be subtle or just come out and say that i want her? ladies, this is where i could use your help lol

I'm sorry but I have to ask this, are you an idiot?! She has a boyfriend. Why in the hell would you want to screw that up for her? Just be a good friend and if and when she breaks up with this guy (and you can be sure the relationship with the new guy won't last) be there for her and thats when you have your chance. Let time take its course.

AG

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Well, i dont know how to start this all out because there has been so many issues with this kid so i'll just start two years ago when i met him. it was junior high and we "went out" with boys then. he was really cute and probably top five in the school, things were great then. he noticed me a lot, and paid more attention to me than the rest of the girls. things led to other things and we dated a few months later, but we both decided to break it off only a few months later because we couldnt exactly see eachother so much being so young and he was moving up to the "big" highschool while i stayed at junior high with my "little" friends. we still talked every night, he called me when he needed someone to talk to which was a lot. we snuck out and saw eachother almost every weekend. then things werent like they use to be and we drank together and shit like that. nothing i should have been doing.. but that led to other things like sex. he was the first for me and i was the first for him. this was a big jump for me, and made me a lot more attached to him. i dont look at any other guys like i look at him. his personality is awsome and hes also only a sophmore and hes hitting top 5 in high school which should mean something. hes a jock, and i dont know why i fall for those kinds of people, but its always the kind that dont pay attention to me. i feel like if i dont have to compete for the boy, its no fun and i get bored. im weird i guess. but when i came to high school, he paid less attention to me everyday because my parents told him to stay away from me (she found out he had sex with her "little girl") and i felt like i was trying too hard so i just stopped calling him period. it was VERY weird walking past him in the hall without saying a word considering he was my best friend it seemed like the day before. things were like that for awhile, then one day he called me and said he wanted us to be friends and be able to hang out and go to the same parties without me being so blah around him. so i agreed and we talked a LITTLE more and he invited me to his friends house a few days later. we drank and i slipped again. we had sex, only this time it was different. afterwards he said it wasnt right, and it was stupid of us. i think i wanted to kill myself. he bought me 72 hour pills to get rid of anything that might make me pregnant, and that was the rest of him for 6 months. i didnt dress up for school anymore and school and my life just didnt come together. i dragged myself to do little things, and i didnt want to live. he made me feel like just another girl. now it was towards the end of my freshman year and i still havent said a thing to him even when he is in my same german class the last semester of school. its the last few weeks of school and tells me he wants us to be okay with eachother because if anything happened to me, he would pretty much feel like shit for the rest of his life. things were okay i guess and i didnt really accept him into my life for awhile, i just ignored him when i felt like it because i didnt think he deserved anything which he didnt because he gets whatever he wants and i wasnt letting that happen. so the next thing i know, hes checking out my best friend, and i get a text from him asking me if i cared if him and my best friend dated. of coarse i said i didnt care, but i did. my best friend doesnt like him and she wouldnt do that to me in a million years, but shes the kind of girl that all the guys like. shes really cute and italian and she lead almost every guy on, then stops at a point where they still like her, but she lets them know shes better than them? i dont know how to explain it any other way. but he calls her and she calls him, except he talks to her like shes the best thing in town and she talks to him like hes nothing. i dont know if thats good or bad, because he likes the kind of girls that are hard to get and shes perfect for that. she tells me she doesnt like him, and she told him she wouldnt do that. but they fight all the time, and i dont know if im right or not but i thought that people only faught when they cared about eachther enough? i dont think there is really an answer to my question, and its okay if you dont want to respond but it would be great if you did. thank you if you read this far.. no one has really wanted to hear about it

brooke

Ahh, I read it and i'm sorry. Thats a hard thing to go through but you know what? You need forget him. No matter how hard that is for you. He isn't worth your time and if he's crazy about your friend and she isn't then thats just fine and dandy eh? No, thats never how high school works. He'll probably be a total screw up like this his entire life and you need to keep that in mind. Try to move on, go out with other guys and different friends, have fun and do the most you can to ignore his drama he proceeds to make around you two.

You sound very matture and I'm sure you'll be able to get through this if you try.

good luck
AG

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Okay my ex boyfriend is going out with someone who i thought was my friend just after 2 hours breaking up with me. I don't know what i should do cause i still love him and i want him back and i can't have him. This girl he is going out with now has called him sooo much crap behind his back it's not even funny and i want to tell him but i don't want to hurt him because i love him. And that would be the last thing i would want to do. I wanted to kill myself because of this but now i don't. I need to get him back she doesn't deserve him.

Dude! Reread what you just wrote. "I need to get him back she doesn't deserve him." I believe thats the key for this question. You're jealous of your so called friend and you don't want her to have him.

Okay there are plenty of guys out there. A nice big ocean full to be exact. Don't limit yourself to one tiny fish, Dive for the best. If she's called him names behind his back then too damn bad. He will find out she isn't that grand on his own. Think of it as pay back for dumping you.

AG

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Hey, I have been going out with the most amazing girl ever for about 2 months only and I guess she thinks I am an obsessive boyfriend.. I guess I see where she's comming from... I alwayse want to push to see her every weekend and every day I call her quite a few times.. I guess this is a turn off, but I like her so much and I feel that ever since she told me that she needed a little space she's been avoiding me a little bit.. I call her but instead of the 3 hour cnversations now there 10 minutes and stuff.. I want to know how to go about making her feel comfortable and not seem obsessive.. Someone told me just not to call her and wait till she calls you.. Is this the way to go. I want her to know I care about her, but I also want to see she cares about me.. I need your advide please! Oh, and my name is Kevin and I'm 16.

Kevin,

Yes, that is way too obsessive. Girls don't like to be bothered every minute of the day. It doesn't mean she doesn't like you but its too much. Give her her space. Cut it down to about 2 phone calls a week, and hour max and DO NOT PRESSURE her to see you. If you want to see her on a weekend have something planned and make it so you two can have fun. Don't hang on her. Be there for her, be honest and tell her that you're sorry for pressuring her so much. Tell her that you think she is an awesome girl and thats the reason you're like that. Tell her you have new rules for yourself and state them to her. Thats the way to do it.
Good luck
AG

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Hello.

I am so vexed right now.

I knew this boy from a friend I knew through the internet. One day, I was chatting with my friend on MSN when his friend saw my display picture and thought it was me.

It wasn't me. Even my online friend didn't know how I looked like. So they asked if that pretty girl was me, and I said, "yeah."

Well, his friend wanted to get to know me and slowly, we fell in love through the phone.

I wanted to let him know so badly that I'm not that girl but it's just so hard.

I'm fat.

He probably won't like me because he is very good looking.

Right now, he is pushing me to meet him soon. I feel like I'm going to burst any minute because I can't keep giving him excuses. Please help me.


Troubled.

Heh, well you've got to tell him. Tell him what you truly look like and if he gets mad or disgusted then you know what? He's not a guy you want. Logically you may have your heart broken but you're going to have to deal with it. It would probably be worse to get his reaction in person. So the next time you talk to him tell him. And do it and don't procranstinate any longer.

AG

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I have liked a boy at school for about three months secretly. Today on msn I got the news my best friend is going out with him. She has had a lot of bad relationships due to one boyfriend self-harming, one drug using e.c.t. but now she has him. He is amazing a good listener and all the qualities you would want, I want to know is it alright to envy her? I want to be happy for her but I cant find it in me? Should I let her know or keep this all inside? Please help me I dont know what to do to make me get over him, I dont want to lose a friend over this.

GIRL IN NEED OF ADVICE

Ouch, that hurts.

Understandingly you are jealous of her, because he's obviously a good catch but you have to take step back and look at the situation. If you say something she is probably going to be hurt, and/or mad and most probably there will be hard feelings between the two of you. Liking someone you can't have is hard. I know, I have the exact same problem but you have to deal. You have to at least act that you're happy for the two of them even if you aren't. This relationship probably means alot to your friend and I think she would be hurt if you didn't. Its fine to envy her, just don't let her know. Be there for her and be glad for her as much can.

AG

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i am still in love with my ex. he has a new girlfriend but he has told me he still loves me but he lives in Sydney. i dont know what to do without him. Please help.

No, do not do this.

He lives in Sydney, has a new girlfriend and you're trying to steal him back? what are you an idiot?

There is a reason he's your ex and he needs to stay that way. If he says he still loves you he could still be saying it.

I suggest you get up and stop thinking about him. Go out with friends, find hobbies but forget him.

AG

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My boyfriend has just moved into a house he shares with a group of friends, including one girl he has a bit of a history with. I don't particularly get along with this girl because she still harbours feelings for my boyfriend. Till now things have been a bit akward between me and this girl, but there haven't been any real outbursts. A few days ago though, I visited this house and when I went upstairs this girl hid my shoes. This is obviously ridiculously petty and bitchy of her, but I don't know how I should deal with it. I'd confront her, but I assume she'd just deny it and I don't want to create a lot of tension in their house. Part of me thinks I should just take the moral highground and absolutely ignore it, but I feel akward going back there wondering if she's going to do something similar. I guess my question is, does it sound like it's worth confronting her and potentially creating a drama about, or should I just leave it be?

I'd say to leave it be for now.

If you go to the house next time watch your things, hiding your shoes is stupid but she could get worse and steal your cell phone out of your purse or something on that order. Hiding your shoes is just plain childish and if she wants to do it let her but if it gets worse I suggest you tell your boy friend about it in private. Just say that you're having some trouble with this girl and what she is doing. If he's and understanding boy friend he'll talk to her about it.

I think confronting the girl could be the worst thing possible. Thats asking for a fight (since it seems this girl is begging for it) and she'd probably play miss innocent and that could start a lot of fighting between you and your boy friend. Don't risk it. Just be as nice and friendly as you possibly can with out being nice to the point of rudeness.

Good luck with everything and I hope this girl learns to grow up soon.

AG

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I'm a Junior (16) and male. Never had a girlfriend; i'm the outspoken-nerd stereotype. Somehow everybody thinks I have a social life, don't know where they got that idea.
Anyway, there's this girl (we'll call her Kylie). She's heavily into music theatre (as am I), and we're both pretty good, so that's plenty of starting ground. To say I have feelings for her would be an understatement. At this point, I get lost. I don't know where to go from here because I've never had a girlfriend before and don't really know exactly what the procedure is (if there even is one). I've (perhaps unwisely) tried to keep my distance while remaining friendly as I've had too many experience getting on the "friends" list for life. In addition, I am really (really) scared of hurting her. She means the world to me, and I don't use that phrase lightly. A positive comment can literally make my day.

Anyway, I guess I need to know what to do from here. Some specific examples would be nice... what has worked for you. Keep in mind that I'm not at all the agressive type. It would be best for any action on my part to be able to be interpereted several different ways, that way if I determine no interest I can feign some other excuse. Basically, anything that reveals my feelings without really revealing my feelings (as stupid as that sounds). Should I just become her friend and hope I don't get shoved in the friends abiss? I also want to go slowly. Very, very slowly, because I am about scared half to death here. Help me out!

Any thoughts?

Mkay, you obviously care for her but you want to be noticed...One of the best ways to get a girl to notice you is just be nice. Nice as in helping with school work, complimenting her on her clothes or music, sticking up for her when someone is dissing her (this means even if you're just with friends and she isn't present. Sticking up for her when she isn't present has a good chance of getting back to her)
Be her friend, be there when she is having hard times. There is a chance that you become the 'best friend' but its a chance thats worth taking if you really want her.
Also, when talking to her make sure you make some sort of contact by touching her. like when you are walking with her and you're talking about something you can kinda elbow her or touch her arm. (not hard though, you don't want to bruise her) make sure when you greet her that you smile and act like its her you have been waiting for the entire time.

Good luck. I hope this was of use to you.

AG

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So i just turned 18 in june, and i have not had a g\f in over 2 years. I have no idea how I use to get g\f's or how to go about meeting new girls. So what is a good way to catch a girls eye(so to speak)? And when are we going to play yahoo pool against each other again ? lol
Tks for advice
lost4life
lost4lifegone4ever

hmm Well I'm not sure how you "catch a girls eye". Usually what makes me attracted to a guy is his personality and what he really is like, not what he trying to get my interested in. I would say just be friendly and act normal and I think you will be just fine. You'll get a girl, don't worry. :}

And about kicking your ass at pool again...well, if were both online one night maybe we can play some games of pool on messenger. That way it won't make your rating sink lower *evil laugh*
I shall go easy on you though..I know a guys ego can't take too much beating. :P

AG

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I have been in this relationship for 9 months. The previous relationship was 4 years, and we had a daughter together. He was a part of her life up to 6 months ago. Now he doesn't see her anymore. My current boyfriend doesn't understand why she pulls away when she starts to get close with him. I think it's because of her father abanding her, but he thinks that she just doesn't like him. She will go up to somebody she hardly knows and hold their hand but won't hold his. What could be some reasons for this. Please help!!!!!!!!!!

For starters I'm exactly sure why you're asking me this since i'm only 15 but I'll answer the best I can.

Have you ever thought that maybe your daughter doesn't like your current BF? Babies and young children are often said to be able feel or tell something that isn't that good about a person. You may not like the sound of my next question but do you leave her with him alone alot? He could be either mistreating her or touching her
inappropriately when your not around. I suggest talking to your daughter...even if she is just toddler and ask her why she doesn't like your BF.

Good Luck with all this

AG

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i am a 14/f and i still talk to my ex-b/f and he thinks ive changed ever since we broke up. but we've been broken up for over 3 months now but he's just now telling me this...now he doesnt wunna talk to me any more because i've "changed." all of my friends say i havent changed though... could it just be my ex being paranoid...or am i just actin differently around him. cuz i havent noticed anything different about me.

Don't worry about it, He could just be acting stupid or maybe to him you act different. I suggest if you really are so worried then find a time you can talk to him when no one is around and ask him how you have changed. If he doesn't answer or blows you off then just forget him. I know you probably want to talk to him but if he doesn't want to there isn't much you can do.

You stay the way you like and don't worry about it. We all change and if he can't take change then he is going to have some problems when he gets older...

AG

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Ok. Let me start at the beginning. First I am 14. And A freshman. And awhile back (like 5months) i was dating a senior. David. And well we ended up having sex and then he dumped me. During this I fell in love with him and he didnt feel the same, i know he didnt. And my pretty much best friend johnny (a junior now) was with me the whole time. Johnny was also dating my current friend Tara. Well tara and johnny broke up and johnny and me had sex like 2 months later. we like each other alot. but after we had sex he ended up trying to suck up to tara and try and get back with her. i found out and was kinda mad. but then Tara thought it wuld be fun to rub it in my face calling me a one time thing and a whore. and i beleivied it for awhile. I mean bc look at what happened with David. Im sooo lost. I really like Johnny. Should I waste my time on him? or look elsewhere? if this is confuzing sorry. My life is confuzing i know.

first off Im extremely sorry I didn't answer this sooner...I didn't know I had unanswered questions in my inbox.

Forget about Johnny, he is what we call a jerk. You need to get your priorities straight. No guy is going to want you for a serious relationship if keep jumping into bed with every guy you like. You are only 14! Fine you had sex but do you realize how much you are risking? You can get STD's if you don't watch it.
I suggest you forget about this guy and maybe even Tara, find a new group of friends and really just try that. Don't go looking for a guy and when you start have feelings for a guy stop yourself from having sex right away. Learn to to get to know someone better. Let them like you for you and not just the sex. If guys find out you are easy then thats all they're going to want.

Good luck
AG

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Hey. I am 17 years old and dating a 19 year old guy. We have been together for eight months now, and things have always been rocky with us. From the get-go he's always wanted me to promise him the moon and stars, and that we will be together forever. Now, I somewhat feel confused, and scared, and I am worried that he is pushing me. However, I also feel scared about losing him. That if I tell him I need space, he'll just leave me and that will be that. I do love him, or at least, think I am in love with him.. One other thing, sometimes if I don't do everything he wishes me to do, he get's mad and fake leaves me, meaning, hangs up on me and such. I need advice please!

Come on! this guy is controling you and you are just letting me him get away with it. If you let him do this, its just going to get worse to the point where it may get physical.

I can't help you with this one, you have to do it yourself. You have to make the decision to say no, You have to make the decision to not be with him. I personally don't understand why you want to be with him with how he is treating you. You don't love him, That I can say with confidence. You are just afraid of being alone and you need to get over it because there are a lot better guys out there. You just have a real shitty one.

Good Luck
AG

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Does anyone kno any really good makeout tips?? 15/f

http://www.partyhearty.com/kissingadvice.html

You never can have too many links :P
AG

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i think your fuckin retarded and your actin like your the shit and know everything and what everyone should do, people have their own minds so dont think your soo cool because your a liltte intrenet fag givin people advice..big deal..anyone can give advice n i read yours..ur retarded..and how u said about the 11 12 year olds..fuck you they can have relationships too so stop thinking your a hardass n knowing everything

Listen, I never said I was the "shit" and that "I know everything". I don't tell people what to do, they ask me questions and I give them my opinion. Thats all advice is really, someones opinion. I see you don't like my opinion or your offended by what I say, too damn bad. I don't change for anyone, especially not for a 12 year old. Yes, thats right I know your 12 and I also see that you have been banned. Good, you need to be with this attitude.

I never said 11 or 12 year olds couldn't have relationships, I said they never last and they don't. Its just a couple of kids walking around holding hands and maybe kissing. It never lasts and its definitely not love. Don't try to tell me it is.

Grow up and then come back to this site.

Sincerely,
AG

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I'm a girl. I went out with one of my friends, "Mike", and we went out for about a month before i broke up with him. I dumped him because i felt like he didn't trust me and he gets annoyed easily so we got into a lot of little fights. We would pretty much always make up but one day I got sick of it and broke up with him. Another reason was that i didn't completely like him as much as he liked me. This happened again for another week when I took him back. Well now we are offically done and he is with someone else and it's serious. I'm so hurt because I tried to ask him back out because i realized that i love him and he was dating someone else. I tried to move on but it's so hard. Now I'm with someone else too and I think he's jealous too but I can't tell. I still really REALLY like him, i think i still even love him like i did but i don't know. I'm just so confused. I know that the girl he is with is gonna break his heart and that she doesnt even care even though she says she does because she has a huge of history of dating guys and then breaking up with them because she loves to flirt more. Do you have any idea what i shoudl do? I don't know if i should dump my current boyfriend and go back to him or what.

If the girl he is with hurts him, too bad for him. Don't try to tell him he'll get hurt and definitely stop asking him out. Your putting the lable "The Clingy Exgirlfriend" on yourself and I'm sure he doesn't find it attractive nor does any guy. Wait a while and if the girl does hurt him, wait and see if he comes back. If he doesn't come back to you than forget him and move on. There is more to life than this guy, you just need to realize that.

Take up a new activity, go out with friends, go for a run around the block but STOP obsessing about him. If you start to wonder if he is okay or blah blah blah than turn some music on or start thinking about something that happened that day just keep yourself busy and try not to think about him. Its normal to think about someone you care about but there is a line.

Good luck
AG

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i have this really good guy friend, and he's always really nice to me and treats me really well. but as far as other girls go, he cheats on them, talks bad about them, and completely uses them. he's tried to get me into a physical relationship w/ him a couple of times, and each time i've sternly told him no, because i know what happens to every one of his girlfriends ... the problem is now, that his current girlfriend is my good friend. i don't want to see her get hurt the same way he hurts every other girl who crosses that line with him, and i tried to explain to her that he can be a total jerk to his girlfriends.... but because i spend so much time w/ him (he's a close friend), now she thinks i like him, and that i'm just jealous... which is 100% not true. i would never go out with him... ever. i'm smarter than that. but anyway, what do i do... do i let him break her heart? and how do i get her to understand that i'm not trying to steal her man?

I think you should stay out of it, if you already talked to your friend and warned her there isn't much you can do. Maybe try talking to your guy friend about what he does and tell him be nice to your friend, she doesn't deserve to be treated the way he does all his other past GF's.

Just be there for your friend when the relationship ends, thats the most important.

AG

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Do you HAVE to be pretty to get a boyfriend? Because in my school, some guys act like they NEED to find the prettiest girl in the world and they be calling almost evry girl ugly...

Ever heard of the quote "Its whats on the inside that counts". Its true, It doesn't matter if you have model perfect beauty. If a guy is going to like you than he is.

Those guys in your school are really messed up, seriously. If they only care about looks than they are really missing out. Ignore them, and their stupid words they say and hold your head up high. Sooner or later you'll find nice guy that will like you, for you.

AG

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Me=14/f Him=14/m
I really like this guy and I think he really likes me too but I think he is too shy to talk to me. But I have tried almost everything at first I sent him a valentine gram and told him I thought he was cute and signed my name then I had my friend give him a note that still didn't work so finally two of my friends try to talk to him but he wouldn't talk to them. But he keeps making eye contact with me,he keeps staring at me too we keep eye contact for awhile but then either he turns or I but then we both look again to see if the other one is still looking and he makes sure he is always where I usually am(he knows my schedule and we have classes kind of close to each other but none together)All my friends are telling me to talk to him and just ask him straight out"Do you like me?" But I need to know should I waste my time at all? Is it possible he just stares at me but doesen't really like me?

You only have one life to live, so why not? Take a deep breath and go up to him and ask him if he likes you. School is getting close to ending so you better make that move soon.

I think that he likes you be then again, from all of my bad experiences you might now want to trust me. Give it a shot and see what happens.
I'll give you one of my favorite quotes,
"You may regret what you do now, but you'll regret what you don't do so much more"

AG

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