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Hey, My name is Mandy Marie. I'm an Australian and always will be one. I still own the accent, but I live in the US. I recently just moved from Miami Beach to New York City. I like : Long walks, cars, paintball, hockey, football, painting, drawling, designing, sculptures, sewing, gum, guys, animals, surfing, bungee jumping, sky diving, pizza, fries, movies, I like throwing gum at the walls and laughing so hard it hurts my stomach, I love to sing in the shower, dance on the highway, cuddling, hugging, kissing, talking, I love to run up and down the stairs, get kicked out of stores, to go to a restaurant and bring my own food, I like to make a nice tropical drink, I like to stare at the stars, to hold hands, to just drive around not knowing where I'm going, to take road trips.
I want: to own my own sex shop called "Getting Freaky in the Basement" or just pretend I have one.
I am: really nice, I promise! I will do my best to help you. I've been through murders, deaths, abusive relationships, eating disorders, breakups, losing my family and my friends, giving up something you have your heart set on. Please ask me whatever you want. I will always listen to you and I respect whatever decision you make.
For more about me: A survey. Yessss! (You have got to be so bored by now. Half of you haven't even read this far..)
Basic Questions!!
First name- Mandy
Middle name- Marie
Do you like your name?- Uh, it's okay.
Are you named after anyone?- No, not really.
Who?-
Birthday- March 20th, I will be 20 soon! Yes!
Current age- 19
Where you were born- Sydney, Australia
Where you currently live- New York City, close to Manhattan
Your looks and body!!
Face shape- Oval.
Skin tone- Beige.
Do you have acne?- No.
Hair color- Blonde, currently has black and red streaks in it.
Hair texture- Straight.
Hair style- It's usually down and straight, or in pigtails.
Hair length- Past my shoulders.
Eye color- A dark blueish green color.
Eye shape- Um, regular? Circle? What the hell!?
How big are your eyes?- What?!
Do you wear contacts or glasses?- Neither.
How about braces? Have/had them?- Never had them, no.
Do you have straight teeth?- Yep.
Are they really white?- I would hope so.
Do you have high cheekbones?- Wow.
Long eyelashes?- Yeah.
Do you wear makeup?- Mostly.
What kind of makeup do you use?- MAC or Estee Lauder, Stila, Chanel, Urban Decay, LORAC, Pout. It all varies, I like to play around.
What brand of makeup do you use?- Because I'm such a dipshit I answered it above. *shrugs*
What shoe size do you wear?- 6 ..okay, so I have small feet. Kill me!
Ring size?- 4.
Belt size?- Um...
Pant size?- 4
Shirt size?- small
How tall are you?- 5'6
Happy with it?- I could be taller.
Your weight- 113
Happy with it?- I guess.
Do you exercise a lot?- Sometimes. Probably not enough though.
What kind of exercising do you do?- Well, does dancing count? How about walking?
Are you 'toned'?- Are you a fucking "tard"?
Muscular?- Oh baby! Check out my 8 pack. Kidding, gosh!
Overweight?- Nope.
Are you in shape?- Sure.
You and School!!
What school do you attend?- I go to college now.
What grade are you in?- Sophmore in college.
What classes are you taking?- My major is art.
What's your favorite one?- Art.
Least favorite?- ::::
Favorite teacher- :::::
What class do they teach?- ::::
Least favorite teacher- :::
What class do they teach?- Okay, seriously...
How many schools have you ever attended?- 3.
Are you in any clubs?- Oh.
What ones?- My.
What about school plays?- God.
Musicals?- No.
Do you go to a lot of school dances?- No.
Are you full of school spirit?!?!?- Hahaha, I never was.
Ever got detention?- Never once.
Suspended?- No.
Expelled?- No.
advice
Ok, there was this guy at my church who really liked me for a long time. One day we were writing notes to each other and at the end of church service he asked me out and i said yes. Everything was cool for a while, when i talked to him on the phone he was real koo, he was nice and seemed like the guy i could carry a coversation with. Then when i would see him he would put on a big act infront of my friends and not even talk to me. He NEVER called me on the phone either. Then one of my friends called him to see why he was not calling and it turns out he ws cheating on me with some gurl from his old school and he made out with some other girl and got stripe throat(lol). Remember he does not know i know he is cheating on me. So i call him another day and pretend like everything was ok and he hung up on me when i got back on the phone after saying hang on. After he hung up the phone i called back thinking he did not hear me say hold on, but he ignored my call. Later he claimed that his phone went dead, but i dont belive that. Oh yeah he also told my friend that he liked me but not enough to go out with me which is a lie because he is the one who bought it up on the notes in church that one day. But anyway i am going to break up with him, but after all the things he done to me i still want to call him and remain friends. Is this werid? My friends might have pressured him a little bit but its cause they are mi amigas. I still kind of want to be his girlfriend also, but i am not sure if it is because i really like him or i just like the idea of having a boyfriend? I am SO confused!!! But how can we remain friends?
P.S Sorry it is so long
P.S.S. Important info: the guy has just lost his grandmother and switched schools could this be why he is acting weird? Also before he asked me out i did not like him as more than a friend i just said yes to him to give him a chance, but now i actually like him.
PLEASE HELP!!!!!!
You know what, I think you aren't looking at the whole picture. You seem to enjoy the idea of having a boyfriend, I think. Tell me this, what do you look for in a guy? Be completely honest with yourself. For example, I look for loyalty, personality, a good balance, someone to make you feel like you're their whole world. Now, if I was going out with this guy, I'd have to say to myself does he have these qualities. Loyalty? Cheated on me. Personality? How could I tell if he doesn't call? A good balance? To me it doesn't seem like he knows what he's doing. He obviously has his own insight on women because he has another girl and states that he didn't like you enough to go out with you. He has no balance what so ever because it sounds like he doesn't know what the hell he's doing. You get the idea.
My whole point of this is to make you realize that you should want to make yourself happy before anything else. Why would you put up with his shit? First of all, he's playing the wrong card on you. Meaning that he's using excuses, cheating on you, and telling things behind your back. You don't need this. It will lead you in the wrong directions and you'll have mixed emotions through out the whole relationship. I say, if you are going to have a relationship don't just go for the "oh, but at least I have a boyfriend now". Find a guy that fits your needs, a guy who you won't have to question, and a guy who is willing to be your back up and make you feel special. You deserve more. Why would you settle for anything less. You are better than that.
And O.K. so he's been through a rough time. But you can't be his back up right now. That is no excuse for the way he's acting towards you. He's be using those reasons to try and cover it up. No, it's his fault because he is in control of his actions either way.
If you want to be friends that is totally your choice. But That could get rough at times and I'd make sure he settles down a bit before even considering it.
Sorry it was kind of brutal, but that's my opinion on it. Take care sweetie! Please try and not be like all the others, it's better to find someone right for you.
Hey Mandee,
I just wanted to say thank you so much for your advice. I have decided to just leave our relationship how it is. Hes my friend and Im not up for losing him and your advice really helped me make my decision. There is also no way i could support a relationship or be hurt due to the fact that im on 3 basketball teams and a indoor soccer team. Maybe later on, but right now i am very happy just being friends with him. You are really good at giving advice and i am really grateful for your answer. I really owe you one! Feel free to ask me anything even though i am new to giving advice and have just registered. Thank you so much again! :)
Aw, you are very welcome hun! I'm glad you are satisfied with how things are right now. It's smart to keep it on good terms. Because once you lose something irreplaceble you can never have it back again. Maybe later on, if you feel more secure, you could try to make it work. Just be careful and most importantly, enjoy the time you spend with him. Thank you so much for the sweet message! It makes me happy to know I actually helped someone out. Haha! See ya later, have a great holiday!
-Mandee
hey! i lub you advice but anyway i have a boyfriend and we have been going out about a little over a month and well everyone wants us to kiss..but they call us freezers (freeze up about kissing) and well i want to get rid of that i just u know want to kiss him but when we come close to i get kinda like..scared and freeze..wat should i do so i wont freeze up? (im 13 and im a girl if you want to know)
Sorry for the delay, babe. -didn't have a laptop for awhile-
Thanks! haha you are very sweet!
I know that kissing is more complicated mentally then it actually is physically. But you know what, you can definitely break this. I know it!
All you need to do is be confident and tell you're self that many, many people kiss for pleasure and enjoyment. It is not meant to be something that is scary. And wouldn't you want to be able to try it and get more experince? Let him guide you through it if it helps you.
But mainly learn to relax yourself and be carefree. I can't teach you how to do that. It's a fear you need to overcome yourself. But what I can do is tell you that you'll regret not giving him or yourself the chance to enjoy kissing. It's an awesome experince that everyone should be entitled to during their relationship. You only live once, lol. Just kiss him! Seriously honey, you'd get it off your mind for awhile.
If you are really worried about it, talk to him about it. Tell him you want to try it but you're afraid. Ask about gradually building up to it. You could maybe start getting closer and get used to that for a little. But kissing comes naturally and you don't want to plan it all out. That takes the fun out of it.
Try to just let your mind go and not think or worry about it. You're freezing up about it because you're letting yourself. If you feel that you definitely aren't ready for it, don't push yourself. If you need to wait for a certain time do that if you want to. Just let your boyfriend know.
Love,
Mandee
Well see heres the thing. I talk to this girl everyday and night .. basically anytime i have some free time i spend it with this girl. I love this girl and she seems to sorta like me. She is the sweetest girl in the whole world and has a huge heart.I want to take things slow just like she does but I wish there was some way of just knowing she is going to be there and not leave. I am not talking leave my life i'm talking about leaving me and dating someone else. I dont want to lose this girl because i've never met anyone like her and realize how rare people like her are. So please answer me this: Are we building on something or is prince charming going to come and sweep her off her feet?
You seem to be building a relationship. But rather than worry about what will happen next, consider the fact that if you two like each other that much, you'll make it work! The best thing to do is actually ask her. And if she sounds sincere, I'd believe it.
But then again, no one knows what the future will be like. Just go day by day and if you both think things are going great, be thankful for that.
She probably loves you so much. Just believe what she says! Enjoy the connect you have right now. You probably have a lot of concern or maybe you're even confused about where this relationship is going. The best thing to do is enjoy every moment of it, and that is what keeps it going. It's more worthwhile that way. Just live in the moment. I can't stress that enough!
Worrying causes stress, stress can make a relationship fade. You don't want that to happen, do you? Taking it slowly is good. That way you'll not feel rushed or pressured to do anything that you don't want to. Hope this helps you, honey!
Love,
Mandee
well..i rele like this guy..who happens 2 b my x..nd i kno he likes me bak..alot! but i think were both still alittle shy 2 go bak out..any suggestions?
You need to get over your shyness, dear! The both of you need need to come to the conclusion that being shy will not make anything better. The relationship would stay the same as it is right now. You won't get anywhere by doing nothing...trust me.
Now if the two of you are shy because of a previous problem in your last relationship that is something you need to be willing to work out. The best way to get help is by overcoming shyness. That is something you'll have to work at.
Love,
Mandee
I'm guessing that you talk to each other. Probably on AIM mostly. Try to resist that. The more you rely on AIM and e-mail, the more you exclude yourself from hearing his voice and seeing him. So when you do meet in person you start to tense up. Try talking to him on the phone and hanging out as friends. You need to build up your comfort level with him again. It might take time but you have the whole summer to work on it.
If you have had trust issues with him that will take a long time. You need to be able to feel like you can open up with him again. That will take some time. Why don't you just start hanging out as friends for awhile? While you're working on building up the relationship you can gradually create an open connect with him. But be sure that you are ready for this. And make sure he knows that if he has had faults before that dealt with the result of breaking up the last time he needs to work on changing them. As do you.
But I would give it a try if I were you and see where things go. You only live once, right?
Ok..So Me & this kid Chris went out for like a month & then he broke up with Me bc he felt like it wasnt fair to me bc he liked 2 other girls. This was about 3 weeks ago. We still talk alot & I still really like him. He said he still liked me too but didnt wanna go out w/Me right now bc he feels bad bc he likes the other 2 girls also. What do you think I should do/say to him about this ? PlZ hElP !
I think you should respect his decision. He was nice about the whole situation and he cared enough for you to make sure that he wouldn't hurt you. That was a very generous thing for him to do. I know you're probably wondering what I'm talking about.
Most guys would just break up with you and not tell you why. Or to make matters worse they'll cheat on you so that way they know you'll get mad at them and call it quits. This guy seemed to give you and honest explanation of why he didn't want to go out with you anymore. It really isn't fair to you if he likes other girls. You should be the only one he thinks about and likes. If it were me, I wouldn't want to date someone who wouldn't give their whole heart to me. He's doing you a favor.
I realize that you like him a lot and I know it hurts but think about it. You're better off without him. He says he doesn't want to go out with you, don't force him to. He probably needs you as a friend right now. So continue talking to him and supporting him unless that's too hard for you to do. Because sometimes it's hard to be just friends with a guy you really like. He's probably at a state of confusion right now. Liking a number of people is often hard to deal with so he will definitely need someone there for him. And maybe if you support him and listen to what he says he'll start to consider going out with you again. I can't promise that though. All guys are different. Hang in there! Everthing should be okay. And if you need anything let me know!
Love,
Mandee
ok this guy always calls me a nigga whats that supposed to mean?? and this other calls me a pecker? what does it mean? thanks!
A nigga is usually referred to a black person. Typically guys. But yeah, a black guy or girl. People will use it a lot in sentences like Nigga..please or what up, nigga?
A pecker is another word for penis. So it's just like dick or cock. You get the idea. :P
Hope this helped you out!
Love,
Mandee
well i have known this guy since like i was in second grade (im an eighth grader now) and hes my next door neighbor and well since the last day of school i think i've been having some feelings for him.well when we were in school together we would like always flirt with eachother and our friends would always say we should go out and he would ask me some like personal questions.well since school started i havent seen him in the 2 or 3 weeks it started and i got to see him today..i was so happy to see him since i havent seen him in wat felt like forever.we started talking and flirting and i had my cell phone and he came up and took it and ran off with it and then wen started playing soccer and it was like alotta fun because he would always flirt with me and stuff and i think i really like him..well i have two questions do u have anyways that i can tell if he likes me and my second question is do you have anyways for me to make him like me well i dont mean make i mean like..maybe have a lil crush on me and some tips..thankie! ^_^
Babe, I am so sorry that this is so late. Probably more than 20 days. (didn't feel like doing the math) Again, I am really sorry for how late this is..my laptop had to get fixed and it took a couple weeks.
Guys are hard to figure out. Throughout the nineteen years that I've lived, I still never figured it out.
Guys tend to get a little shy and they act differently around you than they would anyone else. A guy could be straight forward with you and tell you that he likes you or he can quiet up about the whole thing. If he spends a lot of time with you or does little things for you that he doesn't have to do..that could be a hint. He probably talks to you a lot or he could be the total opposite of that and be really insecure and serene. If he touches you a lot and enjoys your company he's definitely noticing you.
The best thing that I can tell you is that you shouldn't put on any act for a guy. Guys hate that and they'll assume that you're fake. They can see through fakeness really well. You should try and open up to him and make him feel important. The more you listen to him and tell him how wonderful or good at something he is; he'll know that he can talk to you about anything. And communication is really important in a relationship. But remember, you want to be honest with him. Don't say he's good at basketball if you don't really mean it. Treat him like he's your bestfriend. Always make sure that he knows that you are there for him no matter what. You don't want to make him feel like he's out of your league. So don't mention any other guys who gave you everything and all that...it's never a good thing. lol
Hopefully you have some ideas now! Thanks for being patient! And if you need anything else, feel free to ask me. Since I have my computer back, I'll always be checking in!
Love,
Mandee
well me and my boyfriend are so happy together well he lives with his grandparents and his grandma doesn*t like me at all even though I never did anything to her well my boyfriend recently got a job and he works from 4:45 until 1:00 in the morning and his grandparents won*t let him call me when he gets home well I call him during the day cause he is home but his grandma only lets us talk for about 20 minutes so we never get to talk or see each other which is bad for a relationship but I love my boyfriend so much he makes me happy and everything but I don*t want a boyfriend that I never get to spend time with or get to talk to and it is summer right now so should I break up with him? or should I stay with him? I don*t wanna be lonely but if I have to I will plz help me I rate high! thanxs so much
Hunnie, you have the same problem as me. Well, sort of. My new boyfriend is just a little weird. He asked me to be his girlfriend but he never wants to go anywhere. And I thought about this and I just asked myself if I'm happy with the relationship. Which I'm not, so I'm thinking about breaking up.
Anyways, back to you! Before making the final decision, listen to yourself and ask yourself questions. You stated that you don't want a boyfriend who never has time for you. And time is one of the elements that are ideal for making a relationship work. Right now it seems as if you have only twenty minutes of time with him each day. And sweetie, that is practically nothing! If this keeps up, chances are that the happiness that you do have now will fade away. Because you'll be home all day, he'll be at work. You'll only talk to him for twenty minutes and so the cycle continues. Is that how you want to live out summer? Waiting for those twenty minutes you can talk to him, and waiting till the days he gets off work? You'd be wasting your time to fit his schedule. You shouldn't do that. It's summer, you have your own things to do and you deserve to have someone with you for the summer with dedication and time to give to you.
I know you'll be sad, but how happy can you be if you never get to see the guy you love? Before you decide on anything, have a talk with him. Tell him exactly what you're feeling. And if there is a solution to it, that is fixable, then go for it and try to make it work. But if it seems unrealistic, you're better off alone. Maybe he could cut back on his work hours so that he can see you more during the summer. Or maybe you can talk to his grandparents and try to get more connected with them. And once you achieve that, you can talk about extending the time that you talk to him. Those are my thoughts on it, but it's up to you! I hope you have a great summer! Try and enjoy yourself and I do hope there is something that you can do to fix this!
Love,
Mandee
Hey..first of all..I've read some of your advice and it is GREAT! Anyway, to my question..I think my best friend might like me. Ever since he broke up with his girlfriend we have been doing more things together. Like when he is home alone he calls me over there to be with him and i cook food for him. And tonight we were at my friend's (his cousin) uncle's house and we were on the couch and he was laying down and I sat down and he put his feet on me and then I was layin down and he came and sat on me. Then when he was leaving he was like do u want to come with me and I was like I would but I cant leave her(my friend). And he offers to buy me things..and last weekend he didn't want me to go to my sister's and he wanted me to wait at home for him.. and his cousin lives by us and whenever I tell him I will be gone for the weekend hes like please dont go and im like hope is home youll have her and hes like no and im like y and he will go because and ill go because y and he goes because your more funner! what do you think, does he like me or not?
Thanks so much hunnie!! I appreciate it! =D
Honestly, this is kind of hard to tell. I do have two ideas though. But how long were they going out? Did they just break up, or has it been awhile? That matters and I'll tell you why in just a second. But let me just say that I wouldn't get your hope up too soon. Because you don't want to stress over it or get yourself hurt.
If he had just recently broken up with his girlfriend, chances are he's leaning on you for support right now. He wants to feel loved and needed. I know all about this, I'm going through it right now. Maybe because he has been hanging out with his girlfriend and never got a lot of time with you, he's catching up with you since he's single again. In this case, you just need to be there for him and get him having a fun time. He probably needs time to think still. Give him the time he needs and when you feel that he should be healing from his break up, then you can start to flirt more. Don't rush things. I would just progress slowly until you guys know you're beyond friends.
If its been awhile, and you think he's over his ex, he probably likes you. Try having some fun! Haha. Try to flirt more and get closer. If he seems like he's enjoying that and doesn't seem distant afterwards then he probably likes you. Or you can try spending even more time with him. Just talking to him. And once you guys catch up on old times I would start asking him about relationships. You could ask him if it's hard to get over his old girlfriend. This way, you're not saying "So, are you over her yet?" You're mainly just letting him know that you're concerned and you care. It's like a nice way of saying are you over her yet. And if he replies with something like "Yeah, it doesn't really bother me anymore" then he's probably over it. Which means he'll probably want to ask you out sometime.
Keep in mind, he might just want to be friends. But I don't think so, because I'm just assuming that he's changed. Becoming more closer. Touching you, wanting you with him...that sorta thing. And I'm also assuming that you like him. Now, I might be wrong. But if you don't like him do not start flirting or asking him about certain things because that just wouldn't be fair to him. Instead, try acting a little more distant if he's coming on to you. And if you don't think that he's changed that much, he acted that way before, then you should start to think about just being friends. Overall, I think you should just hang out with him more that way you can really be sure. If you notice that he very close with you, very touchy, and has this cute shyness about him consider the option of him wanting to be more than friends. But as for now, don't worry yourself over it. Just take it one day at a time. Alright babe, see ya later. If you need anything else or want me to better explain my answer just give me a holler!
Love,
Mandee
Hello Mandee,
Hi, I've asked you a question before and it really worked I just really want to thank you for taking so much time to help me when I was in need. You're so sweet!
Now, I have been dating my boyfriend for about 5 months and for the past month and a half we've been really talking about having sex. We pretty much have phone sex, but he makes it sound so good that I really want to have sex with him. Well the problem is I said I am ready and whenever I say that I'm not he says to me "oh that answer will change since you have mood swings." Pretty much saying that at times I am ready but other times I am not.
But the thing he doesnt understand is that I am only 13 and he is 16 and if he talks about having sex and makes it sound good then how the hell am I not supposed to want that? We've gone to second base and he knew I wanted to but I told him no. So he kept pushing me to do it. So ofcourse I did it. Theres no way to turn him down But at the same time I dont want to turn him down. Like I want to have sex with him and share that one moment with him but also I'm scared it will hurt and when we break up I will be so crushed.
Also he just says he wants to BANG me and I want it to be more then sex I want it to be I guess you would call it "making love." so my question also is what is a test that I can know that if he really loves me and that I am ready?
This may be confusing but I really need help. Thank you for even reading this I know you have better things to do.
Ps. Another reason why I am scared is all of the negative results to sex like , heartache, pregnancy, and STD's.
Sincerly,
All mixed up
Wow! I just thought that you should know that my day sucked until I read your comment to me. I came back from work dead tired, and started to get ready for my trip. Then, I got a cup of coffee and sat down to check out Advicenators. And sitting here reading your question and nice comment to me really made me feel useful! So, I want to thank you so much for that!
Something you should know about sex is that having it is all up to you. You are thirteen, and to some people that may seem to young, but others back up the idea that you should have sex at thirteen. Your boyfriend is going to keep pushing you to have sex with him. Why? Because he is a guy, and guys want to have sex. It's like a competition for them. They'll tell their friend they've had sex and start bragging about it. But back to you. You need to decide if you want to have sex or not. No one else can make you have sex but yourself. There is advantages and disadvantages to sex.
It is difficult with him pushing you into the thought of having sex with him. But if you know for a fact you just are not ready or wouldn't feel comfortable, don't even give in to him yet. I think all you need is time. Even if it's a lot of time, you need to think what you want and not what he wants. Does he want you to have sex or do you want to have sex? Maybe you should try to tell him that you realize this is important to him, and you somewhat understand, but what you need is time to think it over. It would be significant if he knows that you are younger than him and he shoudl consider waiting until you get a little older before putting that pressure on you.
This may sound like a weird idea, but why don't you pick up the Cosmopolitan magazine. I know you're probably thinking what is Mandee on?! Haha. But in all honesty, I think, if you read about sex, and what you could do it will help you decide. I love that magazine, by the way! Really helpful!! Anyways, the more you know about sex and different techniques you'll be able to tell yourself "Hey, this sounds kinda cool...we could try oral and if that goes well who knows" or "No, I'm just not ready for this now".
You know what you want, and you know what you don't want. Do you want sex right now, or is it just too early? I can't really answer this for you. It's hard to explain, only you know what you really want. But I agree that you should test yourself, know the basics and see if you like those ideas. If you do, you can try it. And if you don't, don't try it. You wouldn't be doing anything wrong either way. You always have risks, but sometimes you just have to take them. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you should go out and have sex. What I'm saying is that people are going to push you to the limits, especially your boyfriends. It's what they want. And remember, they are not the ones who can get pregnant, but unfortunally, we have that risk. You're really mature for being thirteen, and I think you know right from wrong.
And if your boyfriend really loves you, he'll back your decision up. If he starts to bitch about your decisions or doesn't listen to you, you should question that. A fun idea, but kind of cruel would be to ask him if you weren't going to have sex with him, would he still stay with you? If he seems hesitant about his answers or just laughs at you, I would think he just wants sex. If he seems understanding and sure that he is going to stay with you, I would trust him on that one. If he seems interested in what you have to say, calls often, and does little things for you to make you happy, he loves you!
Was that helpful? Let me know if I didn't answer what you wanted. I'm always here 24/7 and I'm so glad I helped you the last time. Thanks for making my day!
Love,
Mandee
Ok, I have been dating my boyfriend for 7 months. I love him to death. and he's one of my best friends. I only knew him 2 weeks when he moved to Indiana. I live in New York. It's long distance, but we've managed without a single thought.
I started talking to a guy who lives in NYC. Hes madd funny, and sweet and he likes me. I'm starting to like him too. I actually told him I loved him, and we have so much fun talking.
I want to meet him, and I want to tell my bf. But i dont want things to end with either one of them. I want to be more than friends wit the NYC guy.
I dont know what to do. Im 15, and obviously a girl. They are the same age.
and I dont see my bf at all. i did once last year, and if it matters we had sex....
PLEASE help...
Hey Honey!
The thing about long distance relationships is the matter of how you would handle it. You really, really have to be strong, independent and dedicated to keep the relationship going. However, you do want to consider what makes you happy, what would be easier for you, and what would be more realistic. Asking yourself these question might confuse you, because you think you don't know what to do. But you'll figure it out in time.
You know you can't have both guys. And you know that would be disloyal to your boyfriend, and he would be mad. So, why put yourself through this? It's not likely that he'll be okay with you having a friend with benefits when he is your boyfriend.
What you should consider is finding out which guy you want. Get to know them both, even if you think you already know them well. Continue talking to that NYC guy, but don't take it to the next step yet. Find out about him, what his favorites are, what he likes doing. Then meet him and hang out with him just as friends. Call your boyfriend..maybe see him on the weekend. This will be hard, and you'll be stressed out. But you need to figure this one out by yourself. I can't give you answers and tell you who to choose because I don't know these guys. I don't even know you. And it wouldn't be fair to you for me to tell you who you should date without knowing anything about you or them. Plus, it's a decision only you can make. =P
But here's what I will do, I'll tell you about my long distance relationship now. Maybe it'll help you out a bit.
Travis and I have been together for about four years now. Recently, I moved to Miami to get a good job and career and just wanted to because this was where I belonged. And my boyfriend stayed in my home state. Our relationship started out good. I flew in to see him on weekends. It got very expensive, but it was worth it. And in the summer he lived with me. So, we were still together somewhat. But currently, we lost touch. And I was confused because I didn't even know if we were still together. So it was about two months and just about a week ago I called him for the first time in those two months. I missed him so much I made myself throw up. Talking to him calmed me down and we talked about our relationship. It was definitely crashing, but we're working on improvement right now. We are still together, and I'm seeing him this weekend. I can't wait! Haha.
All I want to let you know is that, it's an emotional roller coaster. It depends on how much you love the guy and how much your relationship can hold. Since you like this other guy, that makes me question if you're in love with your boyfriend. I think you are, but being in love with two people isn't acceptable, meaning that it can happen, but because it's so rare people won't understand it. Find out what you want in a relationship. And don't hold on to something thats not there. If you want someone there with you and around you, maybe consider going out with the guy from NYC because he's probably closer. But if you think the love you and boyfriend have is able to last, then stick by him. One thing is that you'll have to give up on somebody. And I know that's hard, but it's a part of life.
I'm so sorry this wasn't what you wanted to hear. I just really believe you can do this, and that you need to do this for yourself since you know them both and the people on Advicenators dont. Good luck with whoever you decide!
Love ya!
Mandee
Last year I broke up with my ex. I thought that we myte have juss been taking a break but we were really done for good. Now i relized that i still like him and i dont know if i should tell him or not. I know that he thinks i am a b***h and i dont kno if he likes me and i dont want to take the chance...Should i tell him?
Hey Sweetie! Now you obviously know that this decision is up to you. But in my opinion, I think you should tell him you still like him. Why? Because I see so many girls out there, that are afraid to take a chance, and nothing ever improves if they don't. It makes sense, right? If you didn't tell him you liked him, you'd be sitting around thinking about him all of the time wondering if he would like you, instead of actually knowing if he does or not. And once you find out, you can easily find out if it's worth another try, or to move on and find another guy. Why put yourself through all of that waiting, and asking yourself without the answer. You'll never know if he still likes you, unless you find out from him. Even if his friends told you, it wouldn't be his true answer.
Don't be afraid to take chances. Because if you don't start taking risks now, you'll waste more of your lifetime wishing you would have done something differently. Trust me on this one, babe! Good luck with whatever you decide to do and try not to hold yourself back from things, okay? =D
Love ya!
Mandee
13-M----OK my problem is that im not gonna have
n e 1 for valentines day! this may not seem so big to everyone else but my new years resolution was to get a real g/f by then. Im not extremly unpopular, its just everyone thinks im wierd. so someone halp me find a resolution for this!
Nothing will change or happen unless you do this yourself. No one can do it for you, you need to do it yourself. If you wanted this so bad, you'd be willing to do anything for it. (Even if it means pushing yourself to do it.)
The thing about Valentines Day is that you either hate it, or you love it. Since you don't have a girlfriend, you'll probably feel left out and depressed. But millions of people feel the exact same way.
You can't rush a relationship, it's a long-term thing. You need to take things one step at a time and see where you end up. How do you think that you'd ever get a girlfriend before Valentines Day if you haven't forced yourself to start talking to girls.
Talking is the key issue. If you don't talk to girls, how would you be able to communicate well when you're going out? Don't assume people think you're weird. Being yourself is the only way someone can really get to know you. Much easier said than done. But you can do this. If you don't know who you are yet, find out. Get new hobbies. Also, raising your hand in class helps a lot.
You're still just thirteen. You have your whole life ahead of you. Don't rush things along. Enjoy being single and flirting with the girls. See where it goes from there.
Love,
Mandee
OK,let me retell you this story so you can accually understand it.ok let me break it down 4 you! 1.me and nick started goin out in 2003! 2.we last went out like jan. 2004. 3. after the last time we broke he never moved on and i did and he knew about it. 4. i kept asking him out even when i did have a bf and that was no problem 4 him or me. 5.he always said idk. 6.like 2 weeks ago i was single and he was single and since he kept saying idk i made out with some one named chad!7.he called and asked me if that was true and i said yea and then he said he wasnt gonna lie to me either and then he said he still like his ex! i threated to hurt myself!and then he said he wouldnt go out with her!the next day they were goin out! and my friend called nick and said i was in the hospital! and he still contined to go out with her! they broke up yesterday and i called him and asked if they did and it was true! he siad i wasnt in the hospital and i said yes i was hun! just bein sarcastic! and he said he wasnt my hun and that was just a waste of time when we went out! and then he called back and called me a whore! and i havent talked to him since! yea soo now it will probably be easyer to tell me what to do to get him back! i STILL need help! IM me lildreamhunny14 or call 314-221-5695 *kayla*
It seems like he's mad at you right now. So I think to keep things on a good level, you should call him again. Handle it gently, don't try to fight. Be really mature about it, he will appreciate that. And ask if he really meant that it was a watse of time when you went out, because you didn't think it was. If you say something along the lines of that it will hint that you still like him, and want to go out. But it will also let him know that you care about what he says and that is important because guys want a girl that won't bitch a lot. It might even keep him guessing about what you meant by saying you didn't think it was a waste of time going out.
Interest him. Seriously, guys don't like the typical girls, they want someone interesting. And I think it would be best if you built up a friendship with him to start off with. This would be good for the reason that you still have him, so you won't miss him and it can help your chances of getting him back. He will notice the little things you do. So if he accomplished something, send him a cute card or make him something that he likes. He will be suprised and very happy. The trick is to make him happy, and let him be able to open up to you. Talk about the hard times you guys went through, and maybe you'll be able to work something out.
Tell him you want him back when you feel the time is right. Just like girls, guys don't want to guess how you feel. Tell him that you didn't like it when he went out with his ex, because you still do like him and you miss going out with him. Keep in mind, that you shouldn't get all gushy over that. Just keep it simple and to the point. If you say something like " I couldn't imagine my life without you, I just want to be yours..no one else, just me" you might scare him off. If he disagress and just wants to be friends, then I don't know what to tell you. You can't make him like you. He has to make his own decisions. So just trust him on that.
Is this better? =D Thank you so much for explaining to me more! I don't think I quite understood the first time, so thank you again for clearing that up for me! Let me know if you need anything else!
Love,
Mandee
hi mandee this is kayla im 14!! i need help with this boy named nick!! i went out with him like 13 times!! he broke up with me 1 time out of 13!!! we met in 2003!!! we havent went out since like jan.last year 2004!!! he tells me he luvs me and stuff and i say it back!! im having a hard time cause i really have strong feelings 4 him!!since last week he started goin back out with his xx gf!! i want to beat her azz sooo bad!! i really love him still but i also bein moving on since last night!! im goin back out with my xxx nick!! but i still cant get him out of my mind!! im not sure if he still loves me cause he has a gf and i try to talk to him about how im feeling but he dosent sayany thing!! at this point ill do ANYTHING whatso ever to get him back!! i have more guestions but ill ask later!!! pleaze give me good advise!! i need help and i cant seem to find any!! thanx!! call 1-314-221-5695 if any answers or IM me lildreamhunny14 *kayla*
Hey Kayla!! =D
Maybe he doesn't say anything because he's shy to tell you how he really feels, if he's moved on completely, or if he's trying to make you jealous with his ex girlfriend. But how will he know that you mean what you say if you hooked up with another guy? You're not available right now, so I would probably think he knows that your taken. Make it clear that you miss him and want him. I don't think going out with someone else would help. You need to be available.
Once that's taken care of you need to understand that he has to feel the same way you do to make this work. Get it? lol For example since you really love this guy and want him back, he has to really love you and want you back as well. Keep trying to tell him how you feel, maybe in sometime he will open up more. Give it some time, babe. And make sure you really know if he's moved on.Its hard to explain, but trust me, you'll know.
Now, I know that you wanted an answer telling you how to get him back. But in all honestly, you can't make a guy love you back again. It just has to happen, and the decision is up to him. No matter how cute you are, or how nice your relationship was, it's time to go on with your life. And if it was meant to be that you two should still be together, it might happen at a later time. For now, find news guys, you'll get to see that there is a lot of other people out there. It's not good to worry about him so much. He's living his life, and I think you need to live yours too. I know this isn't easy to get through. (Its harder for the girls.) But you'll get by just fine. I know it! And if you just hang out with your friends, get a job, and meet new guys, you'll have less time to worry about him.
I do understand that I'm making this sound easy, and it really isn't. But you know what? If you ever need someone to help you get through it, I will. I'm always here or online, so if you wanna talk more about it just let me know. I'm on vacation now, but you can catch me when I come back. Take care, Kayla! It'll be okay! =) Sorry if this wasn't what you had in mind as an answer!
Love,
Mandee
how do i know if a guy really likes me. or he's just saying the things he's saying becuase he figures its what i want to hear?
You can never really, truly tell. All guys are different, therefore it's hard to find out if they do like you. Some will never show expression and others will show little expression. Anyways, if a guy has been liking you for quite sometime, he will probably come straight out and ask you, or gets his friends to. If he always looks at you and smiles, or flirts back, chances are that he probably likes you. Sometimes if a guy is shy around you, he likes you. But then again a guy who seems really outgoing and always talks to you might like you to. It all depends on the guy.
Try building up a friendship with him first, and from there it should take its course if it's supposed to happen. And make sure to look and see if he makes a lot of eye contact and seems interested in what you have to say.
Love,
Mandee
Ok well there were these rumors goin round bout this girl and my bf liek she supposadly gave him head and stuff so i finally gut a chance to talk to her and sed oh that wasnt true she neva sed that and decided to tell me that my bf did a whole buncha stuff wid her ova the summer at some party or suntin. so i talked to my bf who i have been wid for ova a year and he sed it wasnt true but this girl seems so convincing and i mean i should trust and believe my bf and he sez he swears he really didnt do n e thing wid her but im juss so CONFUSED so help me out plz......
...lost soul...
Oh man, that is so tough! Seriously hearing opposite sides always keep you guessing.
Well, since you don't have proof that he did anything with her you have to go by words. If you are not friends or know this girl, she might be saying this just to get you jealous or possibly break up with him so that she can have him. Girls are like that and it's such bullshit.
But on the other side, your boyfriend could be lying just so you wouldn't break up with him and get mad.
Ask your friends if they know or heard anything. If they didn't hear anything...and you really have no idea who is telling the truth or not maybe you should let it go. I know that the idea of him cheating is bad, but if you have no idea who is wrong you would be trying to figure this out for months. However, if you stay together with him and notice he could be cheating again, definitely consider moving on. I don't know who's right..I'm sorry sweetie, I wish I knew but I don't. And you have no clue either. The only thing I can tell you is that only you know in your heart who is right. Take some time and think about it. Was your boyfriend looking you straight in the eye with he said he did not do anything with that girl? And has that girl been notorious for saying stuff like that? Find out who she is, and if people know that she is an honest person. That should help. But don't get yourself worked up over this for a long time because you'll be stressed out all the time.
I hope I helped you out somewhat. It's hard without knowing what happened, you know? But I think you'll be able to tell in sometime. Good luck. I hate when that happens. Rumors carry on through out your life and you just have to have to find out from yourself, not anyone else. Have a wonderful holiday, sweetie!! Enjoy break! :D
Love,
Mandee
Ok I have been dating this guy for about 2 months and hes almost 16 and im 13 but a few days ago we started talking about sex and he said he would never wear a condom and after 6 months is a good time to have sex but I don’t thing it is imp 13 years old I feel like hes not respecting my feelings and we live right next door so he expects something and last night I cried so hard and I felt like I was going to throw up I was so nervous please help me mandee!!!! I see all of your questions you’ve answered and they are excellent you’re a really good columnist!!
**IM me some time XxJadoreXx0175
**kristen**
Thank a ton, Kristen!! I'm so glad you asked me this, I relate to it so well from previous relationships.
I'm sure you probably heard of this, but this is the truth so: If he has no respect for you and your feelings, he's simply not worth having around. You know what can happen if he didn't wear a condom and you don't take the pill. Sweetie, never ever ever let someone tell you what to do if you know it's wrong. And if you don't feel comfortable with anything, don't do it. Just because you don't feel safe doing this doesn't mean you are a loser. You know what? I respect that so much! You're the only one who can make your own decisions for you, so why not make the right one? And if he keeps telling you he won't wear a condom and you do it because of him, why would you put yourself through that? Could you trust him enough to support your baby if you got pregnant? Or would he walk out and leave you their with your child?
I think it's best if you ask yourself questions before you make a decision. Even if you are daring, this is the kind of decision that could change your life forever. Most of your hopes for the future would be gone. I think you also need to talk to him. Since he is older, he will pressure you to do things that you don't want to. And if you say no and he continues maybe it's time to move on. Please don't make yourself sick over this. You have such intelligence and you know what's right in your heart. You're only doing yourself a favor, sweetie. I've been through a relationship in the past and it turned into hell. If a guy thinks he can control you on one thing, what makes you think that he won't try to push his limits even further? Never be the one being told what to do. Speak up and tell him if you don't fell comfortable doing what he says. You owe that to yourself, honestly. You deserve a good relationship..so make sure you know when to get out of a bad one and start a good one.
If you want to talk to me about this more personal or what to hear what happened to me, you can IM me. I just want to make sure that you don't go through what I did. Anyways, Happy Holidays, sweetheart!! Try to enjoy your Christmas Break...vacations: so don't stress! Haha love ya! :D
Love,
Mandee
***Aww thank you so much! That was awesome feedback haha...it always makes my day to know that I helped someone! You're such a sweetheart, good luck with everything!***
Whenever I eat something in front of my boyfriend, I get all embaressed. I guess its because Im afraid I'll get food on my lips or face or something like that, so I only take a bite when he's looking away. Its so weird - I dont even notice Im doing it until he says something to me. I feel stupid eating when he's staring right at me tho. Does anyone have any suggrestions for what I can do to fix this ? Thanks a million.
He's probably just admiring you! He probably finds you stunning, he likes you, doesn't he?
Don't feel awkward about this, I understand...it happens to a lot of people. Sweetie, you should not have to worry about getting food on your lips or face when you eat. Eat around him like you would with a friend. He wouldn't judge you based on how you eat, unless he is a complete jerk. But in this case he is not, and he really likes you. My guess is that he is concerned because he said something to you about this.
You should try to eat out with him more, or just in front of him a lot. You'll start to realize that it's okay to eat and be yourself when he's there. Maybe you're just a little shy or worried about you. You shouldn't change anything about yourself...it's just knowing that you have the control to fix this. Feel safe with yourself and don't care so much about what you're doing or what you're eating. He probably wants you to feel comfortable with him. That's why he asked you about why you do that. Try telling yourself no one is there to judge you and that it is just a meal. You've ate all your life, so it's nothing different. If he stares way too much, and it's making you feel weird you need to tell him or else he might not stop. Stop worrying so much about something so tiny. I honestly think if you get used to eating around him you won't think as much about what you're doing. There's nothing to worry about! Have fun and enjoy yourself being with him..that's what is the most important!
Love,
Mandee