I always give honest answers and try my best to help. You are welcome to ask me any questions that you have. I never criticize people and I always try to look at things from other people's point of view before I answer a question.
Gender: Female
Age: 15
Member Since: February 15, 2005
Answers: 15
Last Update: June 25, 2006
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Any ideas what excercises I could do to lose weight around my stomach area and thigh area? (link)
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Hello,
Here’s the thing you can’t lose weight only from one place in the body. When you lose weight you lose it proportionally from all parts of the body. Exercises will only help you lose weight if you raise your heart beat above 120, that’s when you start to burn fat. So the best way to lose weight is to diet (I’m not talking about starvation). However to shape your muscles you can go to the gym or if you find that intimidating you can do pilates which targets mainly the abdominal area, the bum and the legs but it’s also great for the whole body. If you don’t know any exercises you can buy a book with pilates exercises, they are usually sold cheaply in most bookstores or you can search some on the net. The main thing is to be consistent in your exercise routine, doing exercises every few weeks wouldn’t help you really have to stick to it.
Good luck!
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15/f
All right, so my friend, who is very shy, has never told somebody she likes him before. But just a few months ago, she decided to tell this one guy that she does like him. The only problem is, I liked him too. They flirted for a while, talked to each other on cell phones a lot, but all he did was confuse her, cuz even when she asked him out he rejected her. But he still flirted with her. Now, I sort of have the feeling that he likes me too. What should I do? (link)
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Hello!
From what I gather this guy likes messing girls around, leading them on and then pretending nothing happened. I think he has a hard time figuring out what he wants which technically is his problem but if you try and get involved with him he might just mess you around like he did with your friend. Also I think you might want to look at things at a perspective. Even if it works out with you two you might fall out with your friend and while you are dating him it might not look like such a big deal. However nowadays most relationships are not forever whereas friendship is another matter and this experience might cost you more than you are willing to give up. If you still like him too much and you can’t get him out of your head I suggest you wait until things with your friend and him cool down, before you make your move.
I hope I helped!
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ok.. i have this best friend.. he means like the world to me.. i love him soo much.. but as a friend.. not as a stocker obsessed way.. and i always talk to him.. and my friend.. like LOVES him.. like she wants to go out with him.. and whenever im with him.. she always gets mad.. so what do i do.. shes my best friend.. do i leave him alone.. or do i stay friends with him.. just never talk to him?? do i stay friends with him.. and risk loosing my best friend?
signed congused GIRL (link)
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Dear,
You don’t have to chouse. If you both liked the guy then you would have to chouse between the two but because it’s not a love triangle so you can just sort thing out. What I mean is that they are both your friends so you are not chousing between a friend and a boyfriend. You should make it clear (tell her) that you and that guy are just friends. I don’t think you should be cold to your guy friend because at the end of the day he is your friend just like you are friends with you best friend and nothing more. She will understand eventually and you can even help her and that guy to get together (you don’t have to if you are not into matchmaking). If you both liked that guy I would say you should chouse being friends with her because you can get over a guy but good friends are hard to find, however that’s not the case. So talk to her (be patient and explain it until she is convinced you and that guy are just friends and nothing more) and whatever you do stay friends with that guy and don’t treat him differently then before because you might really hurt his and your feeling by killing your friendship.
Good luck!
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Ok, so right now I'm the "new kid" at my school, and making friends seems harder than I thought it would be. Everybody already has their little cliques and everything from last year, and it's so much harder for me to meet new people when nobody is intrested in getting new friends. Since the begining of the year I have acted really shy, just because I guess I still haven't really moved on from my friends from my school last year. I also just made cheerleading for my school, so I also need to start getting to know the hirls on my squad too. So basically I am asking for some tips on how to be more outgoing and really get to be able to express mydelf and meet people. Thanks in advance! (link)
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Dear,
Now the most important thing at first is to be friendly. Smile and be kind so you look approachable so the people around you feel comfortable with you. Also try making some guy friends because believe it or not sometimes they are a lot easier to talk to and make friends with (be casual with them, listen to their jokes, they will soon get used to you) don't be nervous when you are in their company and don't be cold to them (many of my friends act really cold around guys and many guys just give up talking to them because they are shy too). One other thing, when someone asks you something or tells you something try to keep the conversation going do not just reply with one sentence. Now about the groups, usually most people have a group with good friends that they have known longer but do not worry about it, just chouse a group that you like and start hanging out with them, but do not limit yourself with only one group try and make friends with most people in your class (if not good friends than at least people that like you so you feel at home). Don't be cold to people because that makes them nervous and might even end up thinking that you don't like them.
Good luck!
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i go to this really preppy biotchy school in dc (all girls, private, kiss kiss) but anyway, i used ta be a really sweet person and like really focused and dedicated in life, but my school has really changed me...i find that i am really judgemental of people in a bad way...and i spend way too much time deciding what to wear and i do alot of trashy stuff with guys...what should i do? (link)
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Dear,
It’s nice that you realize you have changed. Now one of the reasons why you changed might be that you seek the approval of the people around you and you feel the need to fit in. Or it might be that your friends influence you and as Oscar Wild said “There’s no such thing as good influence”. We are usually influenced by significant others which means that we are influenced by people like our parents, friends, movie stars and so on, people we respect (it’s a sociological fact, I am not just making it up).
So now if you want to be more like your old self, you should start being yourself and believe me I know how hard it can be sometimes. Do not be afraid to stand up for what you believe in and speak your mind. If your friends are doing something you think is wrong then tell them and most of all do not do it just because they are doing it. Be who you want to be not who your classmates think you should be. It’s nice that you want to be a better person now you just have to get the courage to change.
Also about the judgmental part, try putting yourself in other people’s place before you judge them and try to find out the reasons behind their actions.
Changing takes time but that’s until it becomes a habit. So one day just say to yourself that you are going to be nice to people from that point on, so next time you want to make a remark that would hurt someone think how you would feel if you were in their shoes. Start being sympathetic, start making compliments and be encouraging even if you don’t feel like it and at first it will feel unnatural but after time it will become a part of you. There’s not a secret to changing, you’ve got to make an effort at first.
I hope that helps more!
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ok there is this guy name josh and we went out over the summer then broke up a day before school started. I still like him. we havent tlaked in a while but the other day we did a little bit. Last week my friend asked him would he ever go back out with me, and he just smiled. but he has a girlfriend. Also, alst week someone asked him would he ever go out wth this girl name brooke nad he said nnooo .. but he didnt say yes or no when someone asked about me. Then wed. at church, he sat near me but not right next to me .. it went me, his friend murphy(murphy likes me) and then josh and we talked in a group for a little bit. Do you think he still likes me? what should i do? im 14 and female and i need the truth .. please dont just tell me what i want to hear .. i need to hear the truth!
(link)
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Dear,
First of all I do not want to sound disparaging but he has a girlfriend so you will have to wait if you want to get back together. I have two theories one is that he misses your company as a friend so he is slowly trying to build a friendship because he wants you in his life but not as a girlfriend. Or of course he might have remembered what it is like to be with you and he wants to get back together. However I think it is most likely to be the first one because if he wanted to get back together with you he would be free in the first place.
About him not giving an answer to the question it is possible that he saw this as a trick question and he did not want to offend you, but there is a chance that it was his way of saying yes.
I think the best thing to do is to gradually build a friendship that could later become something more. You two should start talking to each other again because otherwise nothing will happen and you will just have this odd tension between the two of you. Only time will tell if he really wants to get back together but I think there is a very good chance he does. Whatever you do take it slowly and do not rush him.
Good luck!
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sorry its so long..but please help.. 16/f Okay i think i have a problem with my attitude with my boyfriend.. like i am so happy with him and we kid around an stuff but for some weird reason out of no where i become a bitch.. i reall cant explain why all the sudden i become like that.. i dont get like that with anybody else but him.. we have been together 8 months.. and probably ever since december i been like this.. i really try to understand my self and try to get why im like that but i cant.. he never gets mad about it or anything really he usually sits there and says *aw my baby's mad* then like i cant be mad anymore... which like i said i dont know why i am in the first place... but after a while he'll ask whats wrong when he knows im calm down and he's holding me.. and i tell him *i dont know whats wrong* then he thinks that i dont wanna share my problems with him...which its not that i cant tell him whats wrong if i dont know my self...then he gets mad bout it and then *i cry* thats one of the worst feelings i get is when i see him mad or sad at me or around me.. and then after that he gets like sad cause i cried.. i really want this to stop.. this doesnt happen everyday..maybe like once or twice a week but thats too many times and its gettin old..my friend told me she thought i was doin it for attention.. which i thought bout that for a while... but i get all the attention i need from him.. this is really my first actual relationship with a guy so i havent been like that with anybody else and he the first guy ive actually loved.. but i guess i need advice to understand why i might be like this and what might cause me to be like that.. and if anybody else is like that please explain why you are.. i'll rate anything high as long as it helps in some sort of way..much luv and thanks in advance to who ever answers.. (link)
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Dear,
It might be that you are under a lot of stress and you are taking it out on him or that you keep your feelings to yourself when it comes to other people and then you compensate with shouting at your boyfriend because he is there for you. I think the best way to sort this thing out is to tell him what you wrote here, that you do not know why you are getting mad and maybe he could help you get trough it. Also this might be caused by problems that are on you mind that you are not confronting. Just sometimes sit down for an hour or so and think though all the things that bother you and that are going on in your life at the moment. But most importantly, be honest with him and talk to him about it, because he sound like a nice guy who cares and will understand.
Good luck!
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Hmm... Where to start. Ok, so I've been going out with this girl for a couple of months and it's been amazing. Some of the best months of my life. And I have this friend that I think has a crush on her. He will always play with her hair and like give her little nicknames, and that stuff of the sort. Also, her one friend keeps asking me how much I like her and stuff like that. It is just kinda suspicious. What do you think, should I worry or what? (link)
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Dear,
Most importantly do not play jealous because that could ruin everything. If you feel threatened by your friend and think she would prefer to be with him just start treating her better, make her feel special spend more time with her and let her know that you care, girls like that. Also, talk to your friend about how you do not feel conformable with him flirting with your girlfriend and nicely ask him to back off. Whatever you do, do not start fights because that will turn your friend and you girlfriend against you. One last thing when her friend asks you how you feel about your girlfriend, tell her the truth because that might be a test let hre know that you think this were some of the best months of your life so she would tell her friend.
I hope this helps!
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hey
i have to do an essay on romeo and juliet
and the topic is....I have to pick whether I think the relationship is healthy or un-healthy and i was wondering if anyone has any prior knowledge (im leaning more towards unhealthy)...of points I could use for my essay.or quotes on relationships/love? If you could help ...that would be really great!
Thanks so much!!!!=) (link)
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Dear,
I did an essay on Romeo and Juliet a year ago on a little bit different question. I see why you think the relationship is unhealthy but the romantic idea that Shakespeare is trying to put across is that the relationship is healthy, looking at it in general because the strive between the two families is ended because of their love. Even if we look at it closely the relationship between the two of them is healthy because everything follows in order, they meet, they fall in love, they get married, the love is consumed and they die together also the love between them is mutual and they are giving equally, each one of them is making sacrifices.
However along the way many people die and Romeo and Juliet are going against their families in the name of their love. That is why you might think it is unhealthy.
And the third major thing is that they die in the end and one hand they die because of their family strife, their love is impossible, and on the other hand they commit suicide because of their strong love for each other, the bond between them is so strong that they cannot live without one another. Their death even proves that their relationship is healthy, again they are in a way giving equally. You might think that because they die their relationship is unhealthy but if it were not for their families they would not have done it and it would have been a classic fairytale where they would have lived happily ever after. If their relationship was unhealthy the love would not have been mutual or one would have given more then the other.
Here is an idea how you can make your essay and some tips
1. A short introduction
2. Then you look at the different Acts and give examples of the healthy or unhealthy aspects of their relationship
3. In the end make a clear conclusion
Also do not tell the story but try making your points. The best way to do that is to say what you think then give a quote as evidence and then explain the quote. Keep going back to the original question that you are answering.
Unfortunately I cannot think of any quotes right now. I think there should be some nice quotes during the balcony seine, when Juliet finds out Romeo is Montague, during their marriage and comments about it and also when they die.
I hope this helps! If you have any more questions please ask.
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ok I finally met this kid who ive been talking to on the internet.. and im so confused with the way I feel about him. Its like I couldnt decide whether I liked him or not. Im basically preppy girl, and hes a punk rock (dude) kind of guy. Hes so different than the guys I hang around, and I cant decide if its good or bad. I know him and my guy friends wouldnt get along, and I dont know what to do or how to feel. I'm so confused. Any help?.. I rate :-) (link)
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Dear,
I do not want this to sound like a cliché but I think if you really liked him you would know it. I think you already know the answer but you wish you did not. What I mean is if you like him you are probably afraid that that would upset your other friends and if you do not you are probably looking for an excuse and trying to convince yourself that this is right (I am not saying it is not).
First you have to ask yourself if you really liked him before you met him. Then if the answer is yes think if you are confused because of prejudices. Sometimes people who dress like him are not always wild and crazy and are nice people. So if you liked him before and you do not totally dislike the way he looks I think you should give him a chance. Your friends should respect your choice even if they do not particularly like him. You could go on chatting online until you know him better and feel more comfortable with him.
However if you did not really like him when you were talking online and you just like to think you did because there was no one else or you can not see yourself going out with him at all it is best if you go on as just fiends.
One more thing, I do not want to sound judgmental but usually it is not a very good idea to meet people online, sometimes it could be quiet dangerous or as in your case it could create confusion.
I hope this helps!
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at school, there's this boy who's been bullying me for ages. he's nasty anyway, but he always picks on me. it's stuff like hitting me on the head with his folder, hitting me with a ruler, putting things like selltape and pencil sharpenings in my hair, calling me a minger, and saying stuff like 'your hair is nice, *ahem*'. my hair is horrible, but he has to say something nasty about it. i've spent loads on products to sort my hair out, but nothing worked. sometimes in the corridor he just pushes me into a locker, or into someone, it's embarrassing. if i'm happy, he will do something like that, and i'll feel really depressed, like i want to die, 'cos i'm worthless. i can't tell a teacher, 'cos 1. it's embarrassing, and 2. his twin sister and mum will hate me for getting him into trouble, he's from a rich family and he thinks he's better than everyone, he always gets his own way =/ sorry it's so long, but please help? thanks xo (link)
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Dear,
I am sorry you are being bullied. Do not feel bad about not being able to stand up to that boy and put him in his place. He is the weak one, no matter how unreasonable that sounds it is true. Bullies are usually the once that are the most weak and scared people, scared of being bullied. Bullying is a way for some people to fit in and look cool, a way of preventing people from bullying them. The best thing is to go to a teacher, there is noting to be ashamed of, that boy should be ashamed of what he is done. It is very nice of you to consider his family’s feelings but it will be better for you and for him if a teacher sorts this thing out, he might really change and realize that what he is doing is wrong and stop doing it in the future. You should not have to put up with this.
As for the hair, try gel or hairspray, it will help keep it in place.
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Ok, so i have this problem. I always dress in black or dark colors and i've been doin this all my life. Some of my friends are starting to get pissed that i'm always dark. they're embarrassed when we go out in public just because of me. They yelled at me but i just told them to piss off. this can become a problem. Should i just keep telling them to shut the hell up and put up with it or try to deal it out with them?
advice is nice...
i don't care if it sucks like hell, just give me advice... (link)
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Dear,
Your friends criticizing you about the way you look is totally wrong and mean of them however do not fight with them over that, cloths are not worth as much as friendship. I think you might consider changing a bit the way you dress, what I mean is for example if you usually ware a bit old fashioned cloths maybe change to modern because black could give you that real cool look. Try mixing black with some neutral colors (e.g. white, cream) if you are not a “colorful person”. But wear something that “says you” not just something that people think you should wear. Of course you might introduce some color to your wardrobe just to see what it is like (do not if you totally hate colorful cloths and feel uncomfortable with them). Just remember be yourself but do not be afraid if change.
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ok theres this guy lets call him Brandon that i go to school with. Well ive had a crush on brandon for like a couple days now and up until like january he would never say anything but then we started talking little by little and by february we have been talking alot but besides that..
Hes always talking to me now whenever he comes around hes like "whats up Melissa" and stuff like that and always compliments like "you look hot today or that outfit is hot." When im around a group of people he always talks to me first and doesnt really say anything to the other people except maybe hi and then talk to me or leave. Today he stole my agenda book thingy at lunch and hes like you have to kiss me to get it back and im like no and he grabbed my ass. I know thats pretty much what every guy does but do you think he likes me? sorry for it being long ill rate 5's to anyone who answers!! THANKS!
(link)
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Dear Melissa,
This boy does like you. There is no question about it. He even had the guts to ask for a kiss, which makes the whole thing obvious and he probably took it back making it look like a joke because you did not respond the way he expected you to and was most likely embarrassed later when he thought about it. And about the comments and compliments boys as friends usually do not make this kind of comments they are most likely to joke about your looks in a friendly fashion but not really mean it, whereas that guy doubtless meant it.
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Okay well to start things off, I was dating a boy named Ryan. And I knew this other kid Jake, who liked me and was always trying to get me and Ryan to brake up. I never knew him that well so I never go involved, that is until i broke up with Ryan. Jake treated me like gold. He made me a better person inside and out and I have NEVER been so happy in my life. I would walk into my classes actually crying tears of joy after i had walked with him in the halls just because he made me feel that good. I don't know if it was love, but if it wasn't it was as close as you can get. We broke up 2 months after this. We broke up in November of 2003, and I still can't get this kid out of my head. I've had 2 boyfriends since then but I constantly was comparing them to him and it drives me nuts. I almost felt like i didn't like them just because I don't feel the same way about them as I did about Jake. I know that I do, but I don't feel like i can ever feel the same way about anyone else. He went away to college which makes it easier but whenever he comes home all i do is think about him. I still cry at night sometimes because I can't get over how perfect he was for me. He calls me still every once in a while to check up on me but i try to keep it brief because it hurts too much to talk to him, it brings back too many memories. Is there anyway for me to get over this? It really hurts me like on a day to day basis and i thought i would be over it by now and i'm not. I don't know what to do. (link)
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Dear,
I think the best thing to do is to change the way you look at things. Just focus on the fact that there was this great person in your life not on that he is not there anymore. Some people never get to meet people like that person. One more thing you might consider doing is telling him how you feel, not trying to get back together just letting your emotions out instead of suppressing them, so you can let go and move on. Also why not try being just friends? This way it would not feel like there is a big gaping hole in your life because he is not around.
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My friend is jealous of me and i didn't think it would be a problem like wahooo she's jealous of me doesn't make a difference. But then i told another one of my friend's that she was jealous of me and like would be at different moods like one day she be sooo nice and caring and loving adn the next day she would be like ignoring me hangiung around other people and like telling me stuff that really hurt me. My other friend said that it is jealously and that she is trying to get me mad at her and then she'll use that against me. I don't believe she'll do that but i jut don't understand her anymore. I feel she might be trying to replace me. I sometimes don't sleep or eat becuse i thinking about what lifew would be with out her and i miss her so much when i try and hang around different people or if i don't talk to her... i don't want to lose her but maybe it might be for the best if she is gonna be really mean and hurt me alot i really reeally don't want to do that. Help me what should i do...?? (link)
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Dear,
I know how disturbing it is when good friends pull away and it’s easy to just point the finger at them and return the favor. However sometimes we need to look closely, it’s possible that your friend is under the bad influence of some of her other friends or she just needs to be mean to somebody. I will explain, sometimes people have the need to get their mean nature out, but at the same time they don’t want to offend anybody so they use their friends. I had a friend who was usually sad and she wasn’t exactly the Cool type so she couldn’t intimidate the people she disliked and what she used to do was say mean things to her friends and pretended it was a joke. Don’t forget that her actions might be a cry for help, not just a change of mind about you. So what I suggest you do is talk to your friend and ask her why she’s being mean to you and tell her that you care about her and that you don’t want to loose her as a friend. Whatever you do don’t go pulling away before you’ve tried talking and helping her. After all friendship is a golden gift.
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