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im a monster!
i go to this really preppy biotchy school in dc (all girls, private, kiss kiss) but anyway, i used ta be a really sweet person and like really focused and dedicated in life, but my school has really changed me...i find that i am really judgemental of people in a bad way...and i spend way too much time deciding what to wear and i do alot of trashy stuff with guys...what should i do?
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Dear,
It’s nice that you realize you have changed. Now one of the reasons why you changed might be that you seek the approval of the people around you and you feel the need to fit in. Or it might be that your friends influence you and as Oscar Wild said “There’s no such thing as good influence”. We are usually influenced by significant others which means that we are influenced by people like our parents, friends, movie stars and so on, people we respect (it’s a sociological fact, I am not just making it up).
So now if you want to be more like your old self, you should start being yourself and believe me I know how hard it can be sometimes. Do not be afraid to stand up for what you believe in and speak your mind. If your friends are doing something you think is wrong then tell them and most of all do not do it just because they are doing it. Be who you want to be not who your classmates think you should be. It’s nice that you want to be a better person now you just have to get the courage to change.
Also about the judgmental part, try putting yourself in other people’s place before you judge them and try to find out the reasons behind their actions.
Changing takes time but that’s until it becomes a habit. So one day just say to yourself that you are going to be nice to people from that point on, so next time you want to make a remark that would hurt someone think how you would feel if you were in their shoes. Start being sympathetic, start making compliments and be encouraging even if you don’t feel like it and at first it will feel unnatural but after time it will become a part of you. There’s not a secret to changing, you’ve got to make an effort at first.
I hope that helps more!
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For starters, just be you! I know it sounds cheesy, but its the truth. My school is kind of like that (I wish it was all girls cept' me ;) ) with so many stupid cliques and jugemental people. The only way to avoid being sucked into all of that is to know who you are, where you come from, and where you want to go with your life, because all of that is up to you. Dont be corrupted by an environment like your school.
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Since you realise that what your're doing is wrong, try to stop. Put more effort into your school work instead of trying to be like everyone else.
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First of all, I want to compliment you for recognizing your problem, not many people would admitt to changing (especially in a bad way) as you did.
Now in order to be the sweet girl you use to be, why don't you try thinking about things for alittle while before you rush to make a judgement. It could also help if you spent a little time away from the girls at your school, by joining an after school activity that is part of your town, not part of your school. This could be anythhing from sports teams, dance, theatre, or art classes (what ever you enjoy doing). Hopefully you can meet some other people who are like the kind of person you want to be.
It may also help if you take a minute to think about what you are about to do with a guy, and maybe find some guys to hang out with that like you for you and don't just want to do "trashy things" with you!
good luck!
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Ive been in a similar situation. I focused on boys and clothes all the time..and i judged ppl 24/7. But it must be either the friends you hang around with or the whole school is like that. Broden your horizons..go out and meet new people that are different from you. Usually the people you hang around.. is what change you..you start acting like them. Also every time you think about going and doing stuff with guys or going to the mall every week..do something else..like maybe a sport or something you are interested in. This might take the pressure off of doing what you normally do.
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