about

Hi my name is Angel, that's my real name. I'm a young adult now, I've had this advice column for years, but I made another one under the name anq3l_xo when I thought I couldn't access this one. A little bit about myself. I am a student, both in college and high school. I work as a nanny part time. I want to be a lawyer when I "grow up." I believe I've done a lot of growing up in my short life. I have conquered an obsession over drugs and alcohol in the last year and a half. I'm sober now and I wouldn't trade that for the world. I'm happy now. I'm in an absolutely blessed relationship with someone that I truly care about and love with all of my heart. I have been through things that you kids have nightmares about. I have seen, heard, and witnessed a lot of things that would make full grown men cry. I believe that I am innocent now, because I don't live that old lifestyle anymore. I have a lot of experience in a lot of things, and I've always been good at shedding light on dark situations. I come from a broken family, so I have step, half whatever siblings, and I just recently reunited with my real mother after she abandoned me 10 years ago. I have amazing friends today, but it wasn't always like that. I have a wonderful boyfriend and a great relationship with him, but let me tell you, it wasn't always like that. My sister is a drug addict/ alcoholic of the worst type. She's my best friend in the entire world, and I hope this 14 year old girl doesn't have to go through what I went through. I've come to understand that I can't help her, but I can help others through advice and by being of service to people around me. I'm always here to help, leave one in my inbox on this column or my other one, or my email which is listed, and I WILL get back to you. I know what it's like to feel like nobody cares, well I care about everybody. God bless. ~Love Angel



advice

i am a virgin and my boyfriend wants to have anal sex, if he cums in my ass can I get pregnant?

no you can't. i would never reccommend anal sex over vaginal. but you wont get pregnant.

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My ex boyfriend (I'll call him L)and I went out for a month last year, and broke up becuz we were just acting like friends (it was our first relationship). Anyway, we are a rare case, because we just got ridiculously closer and its exactly a year today that we were together; we talk everyday, and he is almost like my best friend, only more. Anyway, i never completely got over him. I honestly love him. Not in love, but i do love him so much. We connect in a way that I never have with anyone. And i know he loves me too, we make a cute couple and balance each other well, but two months ago, i told him that i still had feelings for him and he told that we should just be friends. Anyway, my guy best friend's good friend J likes me alot, and I am attracted to him,but I cant see myself with him, because I still like the other guy. So, last night, I asked L for advice on what to do: whether I should give J a chance or not (because he is the only one who could give me a true answer). And he gave the sweetest advice, that if I saw myself with him than I should give him a chance, but if I cant than maybe I shouldnt. I told him that he (L) would be fifth wheel if I went with J (becasue my guybest friend, his girlfriend, me and L...and now J hang out alot). And he told me not to worry about him, and be selfish for once. Then he quietly asked if I liked someone else, why i was so unsure about J...and I didnt want to answer(because of course I like him). There is nothing wrong with J,but I love L, and I want us to have another chance. We are perfect for each other. We are always flirting with each other, and i love the way he talks to me. He said I brighten his day. Should I give J a chance, or try to give it one try with L again (mind you, he might not even want to try it again.) I want L to know that I do love him. Sometimes, I think that he may love me enough to try it again, but I am afraid to get rejected like two months ago...but after I told him I liked him we got so much closer (he called me everyday that week, but I didnt pick up the phone [could that mean that he was rethinking rejecting me?[), and in two months we are just so close, like a bestfriend only more. Everyone is always asking about us, why we arent together, because we act like it, and he said it would be weird to see me with another guy. I cant tell whether his advice was saying: move on because our time has come and gone, or if he was just being a great friend. Because when he came to me awhile ago, and asked me if he should settle for some girl because he wanted a girlfriend I gave him similiar advice because I put the friend before my feeling for him. I just dont want to get rejected again. But I dont think I can be with J unless...

I don't know if you meant for your question to get cut off where it did, but you can always leave another one in my inbox if you want to. It sounds to me like you're crazy about L, and not so much about J. It sounds like you would just settle for J if L didn't work out for you. Why just settle for what's alright? If you think you have a chance with L at all, jump on it, because I can tell just from reading your question that that's what you really want. You're crazy about L, don't hurt J by getting together with him when he's not what you really want, he doesn't deserve that. Let L know how you feel, tell him you're crazy about him and you want to get back together with him. If he doesn't want to, then at least he knows how you really feel, and there's more hope for the future. Find out what his feelings are, about you about a relationship with you. Things will work themselves out, sometimes you just have to be patient. I really hope I helped, good luck and keep me posted hun. ~Love Angel

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k i like this guy lets call him D and he is black i am white and my parents are totaly against that! i havent told them yt but i really like D so i am confussed about what to do!!! i think he likes me too but its kinda iffy!!! i wanna date him but i dont want to be disowned by my family. and i know they will disowen me because the had told me before if i had ever dated one then they would ! so what should i do!!!
Thanks!

P.S. for really stupid answers i will give ones!!

Your parents are in the wrong, and although you may not want to tell them that, perhaps show them that they're wrong. Show them what a great guy D is regardless of his color, maybe have him over. If he is a bad kind of guy however, then maybe you should date him anyways? All I'm saying really is that your parents are wrong to not like him simply because he is black, show them that and they should have no choice but to back off and trust your judgement. Hope I helped. Keep me posted!

-Angel

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Hey. Okey so i tried typing this into a online translator but the sentence gets all screwed up..and it's not like its a homework or anything..i want to let this guy i like know that i like him. And you said you know french soo.. Anyway i thought it would be cute to do it in french since that's how we met..he was tutoring me :) anyway this is hwta i'd like translated : Iäm writing to let you know that i can't stop thinking about you. You are constantly on my mind. You are a unforgettable person with an amazing personality. I'd never be able to describe what i like about you..because that would take me forever.
Can you translate that?
THANK YOU soo sooo sooo incredibly much.


BTW, you are sooo pretty!

aww thanks! haha yeah i could translate that for you, no problem, sorry for the late response, i haven't been on in a while, so if it still means anything...

Iäm writing to let you know that i can't stop thinking about you. You are constantly on my mind. You are a unforgettable person with an amazing personality. I'd never be able to describe what i like about you..because that would take me forever

becomes...

Je t'ecrit a laisser tu sais que je ne m'arretes pas de toi. Je pense de toi tout le temps, tu es une personne incroyable avec une formidable personalite. Je ne pourrais pas expliquer les choses que j'aime de toi, parce que ca me prendrait toujours..

it's not exact, but it gets all the main points. hope i helped.

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So I like a freshman and I'm a sophomore, and I'm a girl. He has a girlfriend [also a freshman] and I'm not too disappointed but I was considering hooking up with him if at all possible, I'm not sure if he's interested, right now I basically just have a small crush on him and we have a class together, that's it. What should I do?

If he's interested, then let him know how you feel too. Maybe you should wait and see how he is with his girlfriend, you shouldn't want to interfere, that brings drama. Especially don't go for him when he has a girlfriend if all you want to do is "hook up" with him. The age factor doesn't matter, at all. Hope I helped.

-Angel

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If you read this, Id like you to respond. And Id like you to post your age. Consider it a survey. Respond as briefly or as long-winded-ly as youd like, but please respond.

What is love to you? How do you define love? How do you tell when you are in love with someone?

Answer me these questions three and then we'll see what love means to thee!

Love is different to everyone I believe. But I do believe strongly in all kinds of love, friends, family, significant others, etc. How do you know you're in love? It's not something you'll know by reading a book on it, it's just a feeling that only comes around once, maybe a couple times in a lifetime. How would I define love? A strong emotion that is unlike any other, you feel it all the time, regardless whether you're in love with a particular person or not, it comes in all shapes and sizes and in all forms. Love makes the world go 'round, and the more you have in your life, the better. Love, it's; compassion, excitement, passion, intimate, friendly, attraction. Of course, you don't feel all these feelings towards one particular thing. You can love your mom, your dad, food, pet, plant, couch, boyfriend, girlfriend, brother, sister, but not all in the same way. It's a very complicated emotion, but it's hard to miss once uncovered.

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i want to get my boyfriend something for his birthday.my problem is that he says he doesnt want anything..so what do i do?

hes turning 15

It all depends on what kind of guy he is, and what types of thing he's into, but since yall are going out, get him something meaningful to the both of you, something for him to remember you by when you're not there or something. Don't get him something that his mom or his friends would get him, be original. It's really hard but anything that you get him he will appreciate because it's the thought that counts. For example, my friend made her boyfriend 3 different framed picture collages, one said "I" in block lettering, inside was filled with pictures of eyeballs, the next one was shaped like a heart and had a bunch of like valentines-ish stuff in it, then the last one was a "U" and inside had a bunch of the letter you.. each picture was mounted on a green background because that's his favorite color, and she wrote a message to him on the back of each picture. It's the thought that counts, it probably didn't cost her too much to do either. Good luck and hope I helped.

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I have been single since the 5th grade, and im going into the 11th. guys dont like me. i think it is because i am ugly and fat. they dont really talk to me either and i really want a boyfriend. i just dont know what to do, i cant talk to guys easily because im really shyt but im trying to become more outgoing and openminded. what should i do?

If you throw yourself out there, you are less likely to find someone. Give it time and the right guy will come to you, don't be afraid to talk to guys, the more comfortable you feel around them, the easier it is for you to get to know someone, and eventually learn to love them, and eventually find yourself in a relationship. My best suggestion is not to be shy and just start talking to more guys but don't throw yourself out there, guys like girls that they think they can't have.

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So I’m engaged to be married in one year. I was raised Christian and although I don’t go to church or anything any more my I do still believe. My fiancé is an atheist. It’s really important to me (and to my family) to get married in the church but he says that would be ‘compromising his beliefs’ and doesn’t want to. I don’t care if we never step foot in a church again but my uncle is a priest and I can’t tell him that he can’t preside over my wedding! I’ve always known and respected that we don’t feel the same way about religion but I want to spend the rest of my life with this guy but I don’t know what to do about the wedding. Any advice?

Perhaps discuss with your fiancé the possibility of having two ceremonies, maybe just a small one with your immediate family at the church, and then whatever else you guys agree upon. Hope I helped. Good luck and Congrats!

-Angel

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hi.im 21 years old.studying in university.im having a hard time in my life.i want to love and to be loved.i never had a boyfriend before.guys have asked me to be their girl but i dont see the sincerity in them.in fact friendship with boys never lasted long.im just another girl for boys.no one ever treated me special.i always feel left out.but i always laugh and make jokes as if im the most happiest person on earth!give me advice what should i do?

Put yourself out there more, don't throw yourself at guys, but definitely make sure that you're the girl that "gets remembered." Don't rush into a physical relationship etc. Also, don't rush into having a relationship with someone, the "right" person will find you in time. Don't stress over not having a boyfriend, focus on your school and "fun." The right guy will come, you really do have to give it time though. Hope I helped.

-Angel

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Does everyone find someone that they love and that loves them?

It all depends on the will to find someone special, if you have no interest of finding someone or never get out there, then you won't. Otherwise I do believe that yes, for every person there is someone that they can love and be loved by in return.

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hi..i have a boyfriend (tommy) and i liek him for him..but theres some things i don't liek..he gets drunk and high alot..hes gone to rehab once..and now hes is going again..and i really like him but i donno what to do..he has cheated on girls in the past..he lives 2 hours away from me..i mostly see him on weekends..and then my ex(warren) likes me again..i guess i've always had feelings for him..and he ssays hes likes me again.. he gets drunk and high too sometimes..but has never been to rehab before..hes cheated on girls in the past before too..maybe even me..he said he didn't remeber cuz he was high..i liek both of them..but i barely see my boyfriend and he is going to rehab for a month..but then my other ex comes into the picture and says he still has feelings for me (hes told me this since we broke up but we never got together..Jake is his name jake) and i dont really have feelings for him anymore but im concerned taht when i see jake ill fall again..i donno what to do..can you please help me? thanks soo much!

Why don't you find a guy that hasn't cheated on a past girlfriend and that doesn't smoke or drink to the point where he "can't remember" because that is "BS." I've been in a relationship with a guy that used to get high and drunk and do stupid stuff and then he went to jail and I got nothing but pain out of that relationship. Learn from my mistakes and find someone who deserves you. Hope I helped.

-Angel

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Im 15 and im going to be a somphmore and my penis is about 7 to 8 inches and i have had sex a few times and every time the girl has started to cry and im always like do you want me to stop but they always say no keep going, so i dont know what to do because i dont like them to cry when i have sex with them can you give me any help

Don't have sex with overly sensitive girls.

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ok so I'm 13/f/TX. and Im going to have sex w/ my boyfriend. But I told him that I was a virgin. When I'm not. Will he find out that I'm not really a virgin when he fucks me? please help.

it depends on how many times you've had sex, but seriously honesty is the best way to go especially with your own boyfriend. he may or may not find out about it, but you wouldn't want him to go around thinking his whole life that he took your v-card would you? Hope I helped. -Angel

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ok..last year I went out with a guy for like 2 months. I was in love! Really..I was...the whole year we went off and on. Like...sometimes he liked me I liked him. Then he ended up moving. At first I really could care less because he treated me like crap. And now..I`m crying so hard. I miss him so much, I would do anything for our relationship to work. I really love this guy. Help.13/f

You're 13? It will never work, I've "felt" the same feelings you have and im 15 next week and none of my relationships have worked out. Long distance at that young of an age wont work either. As of now, you're caught up in the moment, let things settle down, you'll meet other guys. If you have your heart so set on having him, then follow your heart do what you think is right because a bunch of random people on a website will never help you in the same way.

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well i like my bf... kinda the think is i just broke up with him and hooked bak up..... and now i am having second thoughts... what do i do?

stay the hell away from him... you're just gonna end up doing the same exact thing over and over again until you learn, meet new people. You're only young once. Hope I helped -Angel

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17/F

Ok, so I lost my virginity to my boyfriend the friday before last. I love him more than anything. But the other day he told me that a couple weeks ago he got really drunk and ended up having sex with one of our girl friends who was there. He is really truly sorry. When he told me he was crying hysterically, and kept telling me that he made a mistake. And I knew he was really sorry and felt horrible. We spent a long time crying together but eventually we got through it. He told me everything that happened, and I forgave him. We're still together, but it seems like I can't trust him the same. It's like when I'm not there, I'm scared hes going to do something again. I don't know why I feel this way when I forgave him, and we're actually better than before. How can I get myself to trust him like I did before??
Thanks to anyone who answers.

I've been through the same exact thing, exactly. There's no way that if he'll do it once he won't do it again. I'm sorry, but if you don't want to get hurt, you need to end this relationship. I'm only telling you because it's happened to me and it's really unfortunate. No matter how sorry or great or perfect he is, guys are endlessly testing their limits with their girlfriends. If you really want to jump back into the relationship, there will be no trust and you might as well put him on a leash. I hope I helped, and I hope you do the right thing. Good luck! -Angel

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im a female 16 and me & my bf have been on & off for 2 years now we are long distance and it started out as a summer romance at the beach because my family spends the summer up there but turned into love. ok im madley in love with my boyfreind & when i talked to him the other day he said his freind came over and told him he should take this one girl he dated while we were seperated to the prom. i asked him if he was and he said he wasnt going to and he told his freind no but im kinda scared do you think hes still seeing this girl? do you think mabey he was hinting that he wanted to go to the prom and that mabey we should go? please tell me what you think.

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Additional info
(added Sunday May 08 2005, 1:34 pm. Additional information will not be displayed on your advice column.)
and if you ansewer you should go to prom with him well how how do i ask him really with out asking him flattly cuz im kinda scared just to come out and say it.

be upfront with him, if you don't like the idea of them going together, just try to hint it at him like "so you guys are going to prom together? Is there something going on that i need to know about? Would it be okay then for me to go to prom with (ex-boyfriend's name here)? How did you think I would feel about this?" this should build up your confidence about the topic, and then you could be like, "did you not wanna go with me?" something like that, but the long distance thing is really hard anyways. I'm sorry that you're going through this, but I hope my advice helps! Keep me posted! -Angel

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see,my boyfriend is going to college in nebraska and i live in amarillo,tx.We've been dating for 1yr and 7mnts,but im starting to feel like he's losing interest in me,cause he won't talk much on the phone and i feel like crap everytime i hang up w/him.What could be wrong with him?Should i try dumping the guy,just to see how he would react?But, see he is so pridefull that he probably won't do anything just so it won't make him look like he's the one comeing back to me!!!Would i be risking myself of losing him?I don't want to lose him!

I would say talk to him about how you're feeling, I went through the same thing kind of. Tell him everything you just told me and see what he makes of it. If he sympathizes and tries to make you feel better, then he's a keeper. On the other hand, if he denies it and is offended by it, then shouldn't you be dating someone who cares about your feelings? I wouldn't say break up with him, but go on a break, don't talk for a while, see how it affects him, and just rememeber that some relationships aren't always meant to be. Hope I helped and good luck. IM me if you need any more advice sillyangel869 -Angel

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ok so I have been going out w/ my boyfriend since january 16, 05. and we have only kissed 4 times!...and this sucks for me...everytime we have kissed it was me kissing him!...i mean like he kisses back but he doesnt make the first move!...how in the world do i get him to kiss me first???....plz help me...i rate high*

Straight up ask him why he won't kiss you, tease him when you kiss him, if he's going to kiss back, pull away, touch his face, do little things like that, it will drive him crazy and wanting more. I know from experience, I hope it works for you. Good luck -Angel

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