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about
I am straight to the point, My advice is given based on my opinions of what YOU write. I may not always tell you what you want to hear but I am not here to sugar coat shit.
I am honest, I am blunt, At times an asshole but one thing I can promise, I'll never lie.
advice
how old were you when you moved out of your parents house? did you have a steady paying job?
Everyone is different, People move out when they are stable and ready to live out on their own. I moved out when I was 22 at the time I had a stable job yes.
However living on your own nowadays is very difficult. You have to keep in mind that a steady paying job would need to pay your bills and then of course you've got electricity, food, water, phone and cable, etc.
So basically say you were renting out a 1 bedroom apartment for $700 a month, That would technically probably be about $1100 maybe even more. If you own a car you would add your gas, insurance etc. on top of the $1100. It's difficult but it's possible if you have a good game plan on how you'll go about it but it won't be real easy.
i do love my boyfriend but i still like my ex and well it doesnt help much when your ex is at your school and rides your bus! I know i have boyfriend and yes ill get over him but right now hes in my heart right with my boyfriend!
If you are still hung up on someone else then you haven't truly moved on. It isn't fair to your boyfriend to be with him if you still have feelings for someone else, Is it bad? Sort of. Imagine your boyfriend being with you when he still had feelings for his ex. It's hurtful but I suppose it all depends on how much you let those feelings effect you.
I have a very small sore throat and a bit of a stuffy nose. I wake up every morning with a sore throat and it goes away by the end of the school day, which is around 3. I've started taking a lot of vitamin C and dietary supplements because I am a vegetarian and also drinking a lot of liquids. My boyfriend doesn't want to get sick, so he said he can't get sick if he kisses me when I have a sore throat, so he and I don't french kiss now that I am sick. Can I still get him sick just by kissing him regularly?
Yes
Sickness comes in all sorts of forms, Something that is airborne is still contagious. It doesn't matter if you have a sore throat or not the fact is germs spread and if you kiss him of course he could get sick from it.
I'm going to try and be brief here, but there's so much to say that I haven't been able to talk about, so if I rant, I apologize.
I realize now that this probably wasn't a good idea, but I became best friends with my boyfriends sister. Now, overtime, I've noticed little things she does that annoy/offend me and I can't talk to her or her brother about it (they're incredibly close...INCREDIBLY close, its almost strange) cause she would just get pissed and tell me I have an attitude, etc., and her brother would just defend her and make me feel like an asshole.
They have a hard family life, so I understand her upbringing wasn't the best, but it's just one of those things that it's hard to pull through. She's very conflicting with her points, wants to go here, wants to do this but I HAVE to do it all with her, otherwise she won't do it. She complains of the numerous boys that hit on her, but that might be because she flirts and texts with them all. These things are all she talks about, I basically feel like I'm listening to a child go on a hyper rant.
But she's very wanting to know it all and have a say in every situation. She'll ask you/whomever what's going on in another's life, seeming to be just curious, but when the opportunity arises she'll use that information to be like,"I KNOW THIS, I KNOW THAT, IM SO IN." Friends'll compliment her on things she's done, though I took all the time out of my day to help her on it, cause she wouldn't/couldn't do it alone, but I get no thanks or credit, just acts like she did it herself. She brings up personal subjects of mine that I don't want to talk about (like me doing sexual acts or something which first off is weird caus it's with her brother, so why joke about that?) infront of friends like it's a funny joke and then'll explain everyone how I get (as I'm getting embaraased/upset looking) when she does it like THAT'S a joke as well (and that also shows everyone how she "knows me so well".) She'll joke to me infront of friends how I don't wash my hair every day, so I'm just dirty and that's blahblah..though whenever we're like, alone, she'll tell me how she rarely washes her hair and stuff, hence she's dirty as well. (It's just more hypocritcal points she has, but yet made to be jokes infront of all our friends). She also speaks of how you have to be nice to everyone and just love people, etc., but yet obviously her behavior towards me is not that nice and she's blatantly told me she wouldn't date a certain guy cause he wasn't on her rating of attractiveness and she'll gossip of people's lives and say how dumb they are, etc. I admit I do this all myself, but I don't go around telling everyone I don't do these things, I admit I'm a hypocrite at times, we all are. It's just matters how MUCH you are, when it's excessive, that's horrible. A little, that's human.
But anyways, she tries to know all the facts about me and her brothers relationship, which I understand being curious, but I might not want her to know. Especially sexual facts, like I thought I was pregnant awhile back, and my boyfriend just went and told her and then I got yelled at by her for not telling her. When I confronted my boyfriend, he just told me I "sure had a "nice" tone" and that I couldn't honestly say she didn't have right to know. ...I really don't think she does, she's not dating us, it wouldn't be her baby. Maybe I could see her being told if HE himself really thought I was pregnant or if I was have a meltdown about it, but I wasn't and he wasn't, so.
I don't get frustrated with him so much at this cause I understand it's his little sister, he's always been honest with her, they're close, they've been through alot but it's just driving me insane cause I have to deal with her so much, nobody has to deal with her as much as I do, not even my boyfriend and I can't say anything to either one of them cause I get the results of "you're being a bitch", "what's with the attitude", and I admit I DO get an attitude but it's just from months of built up annoyance and anger. It's gotten to the point where I've actually lost some passion for my career (what she wants to do kind of goes along with what I want to do so it's basically said I must work on all projects with her) because she basically just turns down my ideas or just tries to change them and then when we're doing the project, she tries to control it. If she randomly decides to visit (without even asking), late at night after I get home from work, I HAVE to hang out with her which consists of just listening to her talk, when I just want to go upstairs and relax. Half these times he'll invite her over ( HE WILL, not me ) and I end up having to hang out with her anyways, he won't come along. It's like I have to hang out with a kid, but she tries to act like a controlling mother with everyone (even her brother, whose like, three years older than her) as well.
There's so many more little things like that that go on, but I'm giving the general idea. I just don't know what to do because my boyfriend and I are going to be living with her soon (we "have" to or well I "have" to in a way, her home lifes horrible and I'm not that cruel that I'd make her stay there), but I just don't know how I'm going to do it. This on top of her just being plain irresponsible with money and staying in a place. I keep going through this all in my head and telling myself I basically just have to suck it up (and I'm sure you're going to say the same) but then when I think I'm going to be able to do it, she just pulls some stunt or says some little comment and I just get sent over the edge, and it's readable on my face, so it gets to the point where my boyfriend sees I'm pissed about something but (obviously) I won't tell him what, and we get in little fits with eachother (they're easily over with in a couple minutes, more just we have serious/attitudey tones towards eachother when speaking). Especially when they're together, they like, pull together and do a brother sister thing where they jokingly rag on me, and continue it on whenever they see I'm getting pissed, about HOW i'm getting pissed and I do this all the time ( they talk to eachother about it while looking at me, but acting like I'm not actually there) DRIVES ME INSANE.
And I feel like the only other option would be to leave him, but he's my first, and I'm sure only love (we're in our 20's by the way, so this isn't a young teenage fling, we've been together for almost 2 years) and I'm not going to leave him.
Like I said, I think I pretty much know the replies I will get out of this, but I guess I just need to hear someone else say it. Or I just needed to rant to someone, (even though there's so much more I could say), or no one if nobody reads this. But any advice would be GREATLY appreciated.
You need to sit down with your boyfriend and tell him that his sister's behavior is bothering you and why. It is okay that he is close with her but it's not okay if he doesn't respect the privacy of your relationship and your feelings to keep somethings private as well.
As far as your relationship with his sister, I would try to step back a little bit. You are her brother's girlfriend, You are not entitled to give her every bit of detail that goes on between you and her brother. As of course I'm sure you don't, What I am referring too is maybe you should ask your boyfriend to keep somethings between you and him. 1, If you were pregnant you both could come to an agreement of when the appropriate time would be to tell others etc. If I were you, I would try to tone down the amount of time you spend with his sister and if she brings something up about your relationship you can state " I really don't feel comfortable discussing my relationship" You have that right. Communication is important and I feel that you should let your boyfriend know that certain things he shares with his sister bother you and make you feel uncomfortable. Your boyfriend as well as his sister should learn respect...no offense
I love his personality but Im not attracted to him physically at ALL. I don't want to sound shallow but that's how I feel. I could talk to him for hours on the phone and laugh and have a great time but when I look at him I just don't feel like I could kiss him. I feel like the most I could do is cuddle and hold hands. I feel horrible and I wish I could be physically attracted to him but I'm not. What should I do?
Sounds to me you may be better off friends
I am 20/F. I love my boyfriend's mum and we get on very well despite only knowing each other 4 months or so. I met a mum of 2 20 something boys at college and we get on so well that I sometimes see her as an adopted mum.
The problem is my own mum and stepmum view me as some 'problem'. Mum hasn't spoken to me in months and had caused me to move 4 times in 6 months and has got my benefit taken from me.
I recently moved in with my dad and stepmum and she was fine at first but with me being unemployed she really pressurised me and with the stress I have been through I was in tears asking her to back off a little.
Since then she has made things more difficult for me and it feels like she is going out of her way to do so. Despite promising to help me in every way she has started to give me the silent treatment and ignoring my existance even when her six year old mentions me.
I am away for a week and plan to try and sort things out before I go and hope things calm down while I get work experience at a local shop. The problem is she thinks I haven't been doing enough job hunting despite 2 interviews in 2 weeks which is more than many people get as for months I have only received rejection emails.
I can't understand how other mums think I am a nice person but my own mother and mother figure seem to hate me over misunderstandings, despite me explaining myself and apologizing and trying to make amends.
If I can't make things up here I am scared I will have to move out again but I have no family left and my boyfriend still house shares with his wife so I can't go there and he has already said his parents can't take me in.
I have been awake all night trying to figure all of this out. I just don't know what to do anymore.
Have you talked to your father about all this? If you haven't I certainly would and see if he can tell her to back off. If you can then try to have a meeting with your father involved. Your stepmother is over the line, She as a co parent should be supporting you not making your life miserable. Another option is to sit down with her and let her know how her actions are effecting you in a more stern but calm manner.
I need to know where I can post a babysitting profile on the internet for free! Can anyone help?~
It isn't safe to post anything with personal information on the internet, If you are looking to babysit your best bet is to go through family and friends not strangers. Never post anything that has your information in it, Also the apartment manager likely took down the ad you put up for the sake of your own protection.
20/F
I've always been lucky enough to have clear skin. Aside from occasional spots, I've never had break-outs or acne or anything. Recently my skin has been much worse than usual. I've been getting a lot of pimples, especially around my chin, jaw and forehead. I haven't changed my skincare routine at all and I'm always careful to cleanse, tone and moisturize so I'm not sure what could be causing the sudden change. Any ideas?
Hello,
Acne can be due to stress also, I'm not sure if you are on any birth control but this is also a common side effect. Sports cause sweating and sweating can unfortunately cause acne. Try washing your face with warm water also proactive works good too. :)
i'm 17/f . Around January i had a medical abortion and i never went to the check up appointment because i live too far away. i've never felt like anything was wrong, ive had normal periods and havent had any pains or anything. I've been on birth control since then, but this months period is SUPER light but i had horrible cramps like 4 days before i actually got it, i usually have a heavy flow that lasts like 5 days. But i know one of the effects of birth control is to shorten and lighten your period. I was wondering if it was possible that i could have a clot left over from the abortion that is blocking all my menstrual blood to go through, or if its just the birth control working its magic? please help!
It is common for women who take birth control to experience light or no periods after a few months of taking it. Birth control is sometimes taken by women who also have heavy period flow to help reduce the pain and the bleeding. An abortion is a procedure your body will need time to heal and recover and this could be the explanation of your heavy periods.
Just like any other form of birth control your body would need to adjust. The light period is very likely due to being on birth control for a few months. A clot is very unlikely but if you are concerned you could schedule an appointment with an OBGYN and get checked out.
18/f
basically, me and this guy had a thing for five months, but it never worked out. He wanted to date me and I didn't want a boyfriend, then shortly I wanted to date him and he didn't want to date me anymore. We, well I got into a fight with him because he always ditches me and puts me last in front of his friends. I was sick of it so I told him not to call me or text me anymore. Since a week ago, he hasn't. His birthdays coming up in November, and I painted him a picture of all of his favorite things awhile ago to give to him. For my birthday he bought me a pandora bracelet. Now I don't know if I should give it to him or just don't. I kind of want to like wrap it up and leave it at his door step without my name or anything on it. Obviously I still care about him just i'm not sure how I feel. Eh advice please?
Just give it too him
It doesn't have to be an awkward situation if you don't make it out to be one. A week is not that long, If you want to try and break the ice between the two of you then why don't you send him a text message? If you two don't feel you want to date one another then be friends.
http://tinyurl.com/3to2fh5
Yes I think she is very pretty, She is natural
Facebook wise; Yes it's a great photo! I like smile instead of the tongue hanging out.
A former friend of mine will not leave me and a couple of other friends alone online. She's not doing anything illegal but she does stalk us under the guise of "missing us" and wanting to know what we're all up to. Is this anything I could inform her police about? She's been told numerous times to leave me completely alone but has never respected my wishes for long. She eventually pops up somewhere and will reach out to me trying to get our friendship back. In a way I feel like she's harassing me though I know she really isn't. I've considered reporting her to her local cops (we live in different states) but would they do anything?
If she isn't doing anything illegal, They will not do a damn thing. Cops usually take things like pedophilia, threats etc seriously not a missing stalking incident.
Now by stalking you, Do you mean by websites like facebook?...They do have privacy settings and a block button if you really don't want people contacting you. Most websites have blocks or a way to remain anonymous. There isn't a whole hell of a lot someone can do if they are a state away and over the internet anyway.
I have a girlfriend who has a serious kinky fetish she finds very erotic. She can't seem to stop putting her hand over my mouth AND keeping it there. She does this dozens of times to me throughout the day, especially in open public and at the movies. Usually it is to keep me quiet so she can talk. I am expected to sit quietly and not touch her hand. But there is a definite foreplay/sexual overtone to it that I do appreciate.
She especially likes to do it in front of others and strangers, most often her girlfriends. And once her hand is clamped over my mouth, she doesn't seem to know when to let go! Her girlfriends see it as cute, affectionate, intimate, and sexual. She has even invited a few of her girlfriends to do this to me and several of them have been doing so!
I asked her why she does it. She said that covering my mouth allows her to feel in control and dominant as a woman. She calls it girl-power. In truth, I don't really mind it because her hands are very pretty, soft, sweet-scented, and clean. And it does feel very erotic and intimate to let her control my speech.
But there are times I would like to be able to talk and be heard or understood. Having your girlfriend's hand over your mouth every day for long periods of time with orders not to speak certainly does put her in control. And sometimes she expects me to talk while she keeps her hand in place for her own amusement!
I really love her and don't want to end the relationship over this. But she says she cannot stop the behavior because doing it in front of others gives her a heady rush of sexual excitement and disciplinary control. Some might call her fetish controlling, rude, immature, and inconsiderate.
Is there a way I can better appreciate or understand her hand-over-mouth habit? Is this normal affection and intimate foreplay? Is it appropriate for her girlfriends to do this to me too? I cannot get her to stop and in general, I don't dislike her habit--especially in private. But I would like to be able to talk sometimes and not be so controlled. Is there a balance?
Any thoughts on her fetish and how to modify or live with it without making a big deal out of it? Thanks for any wisdom or insight you may have.
It may be something you like and are okay with but I think her behavior is little excessive. I would sit down and explain to her that you don't mind her doing it but you feel that in public is a bit much. If someone did that to me whether I being okay with it or not I'd be a bit annoyed that they would carry their fetish to wherever I go especially in public where to me would be a little embarrassing.
To answer your bottom part of the question: I would say it's fine if she does it but I would keep this sort of stuff to where you two are alone, Not carrying it out in public and in front of friends where it tends to get a little inappropriate. If you two agreed to have a friend over that would be fine but in public I really would start to get annoyed and irritated if someone covered my mouth constantly. You should sit down and discuss this with her and ask her to tone it down a little bit, Fetishes are fine but com'on in public? That's overboard dude
EDIT: I didn't treat you like a child, You asked a question I gave you what I thought based on what YOU wrote. If you don't like nor can't handle it that is really not my problem.
Hi, I am a 43 year old Police Officer who lives in New zealand. In the last year my father has passed, my mother has been diagnosed with a severe mental illness and my wife of 25 years has left me. The first two i think I have coped with but my wife leaving has left me ruined. Three months ago I overdosed and was found unconsciouss in a phone booth. I ahve two children which I love to pieces and I would hate to hurt them. But this has not stopped me constantly thinking of ending my life to stop the pain I feel at losing my wife, my childhood sweatrheat. She is 40 and recently has an affair with my sons 22 year old tennis coach. I came accross them one night having sex and this memory of the guy naked on top of my wife haunts me every day. I am seeing a physchologist and spent 5 hours with him last week. This has been going on for close to 1 year now and the pain has not lessoned at all. I really dont want to die because i know how selfish that is and how much pain that would cause. It does not stop the constant thoughts tho. i feel completely broken and even the time I spend with my kids i keep thinking about my wife and the what if's. What if I had of treated her better, what if I had told her i loved her more often, etc etc. I am not a dumb person but I have been in so much pain for so long and just want it to end. My confidence is gone now and I know my company is not that great. I am a kind and good person at heart but I am just so sad.I look forward to any suggestions of help. Thanks
Keep seeing you psychiatrist I would also recommend a therapist also. Your children need you, You are their father. Imagine how they would feel if they lost you too, I understand it's heavy baggage for one year to have all this happen but you need to try to find it within yourself to stay strong for your children. If you need to then take some time to yourself for awhile, Hang out with friends or take your children out for a day. Keeping a journal is good for the mind too, Blog about your feelings and when you see your physchologist then express to him your feelings. Everything is a step at a time but you cannot give up even when things seem at it's worse, Your children need you.
Theres this boy in my class that is so disgusting and peverted.He is always harassing me and doesn't know how to keep his hands to himself.He would touch me wrong then say oops i'm sorry.He would say things like I know you like me becuase last night you were loving it when we had sex.I've never had sex and I dont plan to what is wrong with him and hes made cry before becuase he did something to me that I can never say.Please help.What do I do about him?
-Alexa
You need to tell someone. An adult, A school guidance counselor or even a parent. This is wrong and whatever it is he did too you, You NEED to tell someone you trust. You will not get in trouble, It's not your fault. Do not let him get away with this and I promise you if you let someone know they will handle it and you won't need to worry anymore.
My family is very roudy and not like normal fams really. I mean my moms family was normal why are ours all unclassy like? I'm tired of this stupid shiz. Why does a college drop out living under her mom's roof who disrespects her mom and eats up all the food still be able to be in this family. I HATE my oldest sister. You have know Idea what she has caused over the years. Stuff so deep I won't get into it. I'm 14 and did I mention she has attacked me and my 17 yr old sister??? Because of HER I almost got taken by cps because when we lived in an apartment there were fights all the time and the neighbors knew something was wrong but they assumed it was my mother. SOOO WRONG! Now that she was such a bad kid, our mom sometimes takes her anger out on me and my other sister. She has changed big time. I just hate this. I wish I could leave far away from this family. I want out. I have 3 more years to go and I don't know how much I can take. Please can someone give me advice???
Ps. My 19 yr old sister has a permit but she SUCKS at driving. No wonder she has no license. She doesn't act her age she acts as immature at me. And I'm 14!!! Literally and everybody sees it. She's also a perv...I won't say what happened with my old dolls I use to play with when I was like 10...but you can all make your own assumptions.
Sorry for making this long, one more thing, she has jobs but that's not good enough. She is so stupid because she was in college with an apartment and a job and couldn't hold her own. What a dumbass. Any advice?
Why are you so focused on what your sister does? Worrying about her and the things that she does or done in her life is only going to cause you bottle up even more hatred then you already have. Your sister is person and makes mistakes, Everyone does. The economy is preventing a lot of people to be able to live Independently. A lot of people are having to live with their parents because they cannot afford to live on their own. Many places have cut back pay and jobs and still today thousands of people get laid off everyday. I am 27 years old and I struggle to get by this is not uncommon especially in the hard days with a weak economy. This does not make your sister a bum, Right now your family could use your support. That is what family is supposed to do.
hi my name is emma i am 13 and my boyfriend wants to have sex with me what do i do
If you have to ask us what to do then you are most definitely not ready. At 13, You shouldn't be having sex anyway. If your boyfriend continues to be pushy you tell him no and if he doesn't like it then he can leave. Your boyfriend should respect you, Not pressure you into doing something you aren't nowhere ready for.
im ten me an bff are fighting alot beause her brother is my boyfriend how should i talk to her to make her stop crying over it
You are only 10 years old, You are way to young to be dating yet alone having a boyfriend.
How do you get her to stop crying over it? You focus on being a kid instead of boys. Seriously
When you reach age 15, Then you will be old enough to worry about that stuff but stop trying to be in a hurry to grow up. Enjoy your childhood and worry about your friends, school. Stop worry about boys at such a young age
I met this guy during my vacation in Europe. We fell in love right away because we have the same interest and we are both loyal and devoted when it comes to relationships. We were inseparable for 3 months of my stay in Europe. He already introduced me to his family and stayed to his place a lot of times. When it was time for me to come back to my homeland in Asia, I found out that I was pregnant. We were both happy and promised each other that we will be together soon in the future and that he will be with me when I give birth. We're both so excited for the baby. Although sometimes, we have misunderstandings too because of long distance relationship. Until one night (18 weeks of pregnancy), he told me that there's one time it came to his mind that maybe he is not the father of my child cause I have lots of friends in Europe who are guys. And he one time read into my facebook account that one of my closest friends told me that he wants to have sex with me. But I assure him that I never had sex with anyone else during my stay in Holland and that I was not meeting my friends anymore when I met him, which is so true. He was really sorry that he told this to me and promised me that he will not hurt me anymore. He said that he knows he's the father of the child but he can't just help it thinking about my guy friends. But I am really hurt and I didnt expect it that he will say that to me. I told him that it is the worst thing I've ever heard and that I can never forget it. I want to break up with him because I cant accept it that he thought like that to me, and I felt sorry for my baby that his father once doubt that he's not his. But I love him so much. What is the right decision to make? Thanks in advanced.
Added onto what Angel already said, If you really want to be sure then have him take a parental test.
My mom said to stay away from the guy I like. I told him she said that and now he is staying away from me. We used to be best friends.What do I do? I am 12 years old and I am a girl.
You are young, Your mother is looking out for your best interest. This boy is smart and he should be respecting your mothers rules. At 12 you shouldn't be focused on boys. Wait a few years, Don't be in a hurry to rush things.