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Should I go for it? Even though I am not attracted to him physically AT ALL?
I love his personality but Im not attracted to him physically at ALL. I don't want to sound shallow but that's how I feel. I could talk to him for hours on the phone and laugh and have a great time but when I look at him I just don't feel like I could kiss him. I feel like the most I could do is cuddle and hold hands. I feel horrible and I wish I could be physically attracted to him but I'm not. What should I do?
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hello it seems like you have a really great relationship as friends with this person and not a deep relationship as what you or he wants it to be , its not bad to be just friends maybe he can be your best friend peace and love:)
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Get yourself a gay friend. He will fulfill the same role as the guy you speak of now.
Also, no need to feel guilty. Everyone has his/her preferences. But you do have to be honest and tell the guy that he is on the friend list, which means he will have zero chance of seeing you naked, and that you don't see him as a boyfriend.
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This is what happened to me. After 5 months I never kissed by ex because I just-couldn't, so I get what you mean.
Without sounding patronising, love isn't just about looks, so I'd put this to one side for now and love him for who he is.
Also, just because everyone else kisses each other in relationships doesn't mean you have to. In fact it proves theres a strong bond if you guys are together regardless of being sexualy attracted to each other but more in love with each other deeply.
What I would suggest is to pull yourself to kissing him. I know it's hard, but you could always do it when coming out from a hug. Just try it once, and then you'll know whether you like it or not!
And I would reccomend that you try it because otherwise he could get the impression that you don't fancy him, and then things could take a turn for the worst.
Good luck :)
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When dating a guy I'm all about the personality. You have to have a great personality if not than I'm completely bored. A guy with looks is great to look at but if he can't carry a conversation than what good is a relationship with him?
Does he make you happy? Does he make you laugh? Do you feel a connection?
And just because he's not Brad Pitt doesn't mean that he's not boyfriend material. A lot of people think you have to find someone that hass good looks and that's not what its about. it's about who the person is not what they look like. Maybe the feelings may come over with time...just give it a chance what have you got to lose?
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A long time ago there was a song that addressed your problem though it had to do with the women not the man.
I believe that as you get to know this person a love interest may grow that will supersede the physical attraction you feel you need for kissing and etcetera. If you can cuddle and hold hands with him, talk and laugh with him; then there is something there beyond physical attractiveness.
Physical attractiveness is what attracts us to one another. Mind you I did not say beauty or handsomeness. Physical attractiveness only holds us together so long, insert dumb blond jokes here. You have to go behind the exterior and find out what lies beneath the outer cover. To judge someone by their looks is the same as judging a book by it's cover.
It appears to me you two have found a relationship that can last but is lacking the romance as you are still hung up so to speak on the exterior. The only advice I can give you is not to worry about the exterior. Many good things, as you are finding, are found in shall we say, poor packaging. Don't worry about what others may think. Worry more how you feel. Does he love you? Will he stay with you? Is he relying on his looks to get by?
Good looking people, both men and women, tend to rely on their looks to get by. Good looking people tend to split up faster and more often because they have their pick of the field.
Looks, even men, can be sutley changed by changing the way he cuts his hair. Changing eye glases for contacts and a change of clothing style.
While I can't decide for you I can ask you this; Do you really think after what I have written this is a man you want to throw away?
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Sounds to me you may be better off friends
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Well people will tell you that looks don't matter, and that personality is all that does. That however, is false. Both looks and personality matter. What proportion of which matters most is up to the individual, but if you dont feel comfortable with the way he looks, or are not physically attracted to him, then don't go out with him. Just be friends.
Its shallow, but it's human nature. Those who say they don't care about looks are lying. Even if it plays 1% of a role in the decision they make, it still matters.
In conclusion, if you don't feel comfortable, and don't like the way he looks physically (because remember, relationships are not all about holding hands and cuddling. It will get more physical, depending on your age), then don't go for it. Stay friends.
Hope I helped :)
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