NinjaNeer's advice column

askNinjaNeer

advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: I am 16 years old and a Junior. I received my transcript and realized I didn't do so well and I will just say that I am not proud of the grades I got (I mainly got Cs, Ds, and some Fs), however, this year my grades are dramatically better. I am now getting As, Bs, and Cs. But, now that I am finally doing better, do I still have a chance getting into college? I know my college choices are limited, but do I still have the chance? And if not, what could I possibly do to save myself to get into college? Like if I kept those grades up all during my Junior and Senior year will that keep my chances of going into college?

Thanks for your time!

Well, I don't know how things work in American schools, but I do know that here in Canada, your grades from before Grade 11 don't count! All that schools get when you apply is your grade 11/12.

So don't worry too much! Mistakes you make when you're 15 shouldn't count against you for the rest of your life.

Q: most of the time when i pee it was this weird odor and when the next person comes in they can even sumtimes smell it why do i have this odor when i pee ? and how can i fix it ??

If your urine is really strong, it will have a stronger odour. Make sure you are properly hydrated!

The foods you eat also impact how your urine smells. I know asparagus does it. Try omitting different foods and see if that's what's doing it.

Q: 15/f

I'm about 5'7-5'8ish and I weight about 183 lbs.
The thing is though, I don't look like I weight 183, I look to weight about 160ish and my pants size is 11-12. I don't look that big, and I knew some of it is because of my height.

When I look ay myself, I know I don't look that big. But when I think about how much I weigh, it drives me insane.

The doctor said back in July that I didn't really need to worry about my weight, but if I wanted to lose weight, it'd be perfectly healthy.

I guess what I'm asking is how to lose weight, at least ten pounds before January 27th(school dance) and I'm also a little afraid that since I look like around 160 if I lost ten-twenty pounds I'd look like a stick and I don't want that either, because of my height.

You have exactly my proportions, from the sounds of it. I'm 5'7ish and weigh anywhere between 180 and 190 pounds (19/f). This is something I struggled with a lot around your age.

Do you exercise a lot? Because a lot of the time it's because you have a lot of muscle. So it's really not a bad thing.

A healthy rate of weight loss is 1 pound a week. To do that, you should cut your food consumption by 250 calories a day and exercise off another 250. It's really easy.

The thing is, it sounds like you may not need to lose weight. Everyone has different body types, and you and I just happen to be more curvy than others! As you get older, the guys will appreciate it a whole lot more, trust me :)

Q: hi..
im going to college next year.. and what's bugging me right now is i don't have enough money to shop for the clothes i want..
can you give me tips in wise shopping and what to shop??

Here's my advice, as someone who's in their second year of college...

Stop thinking about trends, and start stocking up on pyjamas and sweatpants!

College is nothing like high school. Yes, you need some nice clothes, but for the most part, your appearance matters very little, so long as you're clean and presentable.

Comfortable, simple, basic clothing is where you should start. Instead of chasing every trend, try starting with a classic wardrobe, and then contributing a few trendy pieces. That way you don't have to constantly refresh your wardrobe.

But make sure you have a couple good sets of sweatpants, because those will be your best friends.

Q: Hey Just wondering when you all started wearing makeup regularly. i am a high school freshman and dont wear makeup, but i do want to start. just wondering who old everyone else was when they started!

I'm 19 and in university... and I still don't wear makeup regularly! Pretty much, if I want to look a little nicer, I'll wear some mascara and lip gloss, but up until recently I didn't even own eyeshadow!

Q: I'm a guy and I just turned 18. I'm basically afraid of getting drafted, and so are my parents. They said they would do anything to get me out of it if I ever did get drafted, like move me to a different country or make me handicapped or something.

I just want to know how likely it is for a draft to happen.

Don't worry. The war in Iraq is a disaster, but not that much of a disaster.

You'd need a real war (think WW1/WW2) to have to really worry about being drafted.

If Iraq turns into Vietnam and people start being drafted, move to Canada! It's great up here, and we won't get involved unless it's necessary.

Oh, but if you live in North Korea, you have to join the army, by law.

Q: okkay so usually when i hang out with my boyfriend alot of his friends are around..which i dont mind at all because most of his friends are pretty cool and fun to hang out with..but im not sure how to act when im around them am i suppose to like talk to them and get into their conversation or focus more on my boyfriend..do i like hold him hand or flirt with him so he can show me off or does that embarress him?? thank you soo much :]]

I've done pretty well with my boyfriend's friends, so here's what I did.

I just act like one of the guys. I'll sit with my boyfriend and cuddle with him, but I'll still play video games and watch hockey with them.

Don't be too girly, and make sure you get involved in whatever they're doing, so that he sees exactly how fun you are!

Q: My mom wants to get some tea lights. They're not the usual ones you light, or even put a disposeable battery in. They come with a base that recharges them, and they last pretty much forever.

Only problem is, I can't find them anywhere!
If anyone knows what I'm talking about, can you help me find them?
Thanks in advance!

p.s. Please don't say "try google" because.. well a googleplex of results come up. Specific sites only, please! :)

What about these? They're pretty cool, and you can blow them on and off.

http://www.thinkgeek.com/homeoffice/lights/89d9/

Q: I'm dating this guy in college who seems to always be busy which I understand of course... we've been dating for over a month now and we usually go out once every week since well he's in college and i'm not. I feel like he's emotionally callous when it comes to online conversations or better yet conversations in person. He just doesn't seem to understand how I feel... for instance today was the last day that we were going to hang out before christmas break since he's going back to his home town... I texted him to ask him to come over and he gave me these excuses of him having a headache and feeling like shit and that he had to do this scholarship thing... I was very angry and sad and I just texted him saying, "it's okay i'll understand if you can't come over just as long as you get better." He said, "sorry" but I mean he really gets me angry a lot... it's like he doesn't understand me and seems to be more disattached to this thing that we have. We're not official but even so we have been dating for this long and he should at least know how to be a good guy... So anyway, here I am really sad and angry and he's online giving me all these political articles like him not coming over is not a big deal at all... it's really getting me worked up and wondering whether or not I should even waste my time on someone like him... I know he's not cheating on me just cause he's honest and is not like that... but I mean come on we planned today's date 2 weeks ago and talked about it yesterday... I just don't know what I should do...

I'm going to go against everyone else here, and probably go against what you want to hear, but here goes...

I understand what he's going through. College is a lot more work than high school. A LOT. He has to focus on the most important thing in his life, which at this time is school, not a one month relationship. You have got to realize this.

Also, you've caught him at a bad time. You say you've been dating for just over a month? Guess what? It's exam time! Give the poor guy a break. He's probably stressed out like crazy.

Q: ive been talking to this guy and well i like him when im talking to him but than when im not he really doesnt intrest me you know and sometimes when i talk to him hes always talking about sex and everything and how hes gonna be the one to take my virginty but honestly i dont want him to sometimes im attratcted to him and others im not its like i only think about him when im talking to him and even then i dont know my feelings for him i get different vibes in a way you know and its driving me crazy i dont kno weather i like him or not

If you're not sure, then don't do it.

Especially because this guy sounds really creepy. Someone who's worth losing your virginity to wouldn't be so adamant about being the one.

I get a bad vibe from your description of him...

The indecision thing comes from your raging teenage hormones, so if you're not 100% sure, wait it out until you are.

Q: okay so my boyfriend does dip and i really hate it..ive told him this before and his last girlfriend even broke up with him because of it..you guys are probally gonna say if he loved you enough he would stop and you should end things but i really really like him and i dont want us to break up..how can i help him quit..or atleast convice him too?

Has he seen the pictures from health class? The ones with cancer of the lip, leukoplakia (the hardened white patches on the lip and gum), of people with amputated jaws, things like that. Facts work.

I saw a girl quit smoking cold turkey when she saw pictures of "hairy tongue", which is a nasty tobacco-induced condition that causes your papillae on your tongue to grow really long.

Q: My husband and I stopped drinking a year ago. We both like it, but we we're out of control. Plus, we became Christians and thought that it's wrong. However, now we are confused, because for (1) I haven't read anything in the Bible other than 'being drunk' that's wrong. (2) Am I reading Matthew wrong? He tells his disciples that they'll drink wine toghether again once they're reunited in heaven? Is moderation the key? Both Jesus and Paul said that everything is permissable just that everything is not beneficial.

I'm an atheist, but I think I can offer some perspective.

Didn't Jesus turn water into wine, and then offer it as his blood?

The Bible doesn't preach against drinking, it just preaches against excess. It's only some sects of Christianity that claim that it is wrong to drink alltogether.

Q: I don't know why I've suddenly thought of this, but here it goes. My dog, Lucky, is really old.. around 16 or 17. He's a small dog, and is doing well for his age, but he is really old and getting slow. It started occuring to all of us that he's going to die pretty soon, probably within a year. I don't know how I'm going to react when that happens, but as they say, that's life.
My question is, if any of you have had a dog die naturally, or by being put to sleep, who took care of the remains? I know it's a crazy question, but does the vet have someone take on that responsibility?

I just dealt with the loss of my dog, and I also used to work at a veterinary clinic.

The vet will usually send your pet to be cremated if you bring them in. You can either request to get the remains back (that costs more) or you can just send them.

Q: ok, i'll get right to the point, what the heck is a gyno???? i'm 15/f and have a very sheltered life. does going to one hurt? what do they do to you exactally? i'm not sexually active, do i still have to go to one? no, i'm not that regular yet, but i don't seem to be having problems. but i'm nervous. so please help!

alyssa

A 'gyno' is a gynecologist, or a doctor who specializes in the female reproductive organs.

You're supposed to start going when you either turn 18 or become sexually active, so you don't need to go to one.

I've done it before, it's really not a big deal. Maybe a little uncomfortable, but it's not painful.

Q: okay, well i kinda have a problem you see. no guys want to date me. i mean its not cause im ugly or a bitch or anything cause ive been told im good looking and sweet. No guys want to date me because they all see me as a friend. once my friend (a guy) asked the guy i liek if he would ever date me and all he said was " im not gay!". Im not a tomboy or anything, i like sports and everything and i play and watch them, but i dress like a girl and i try and make friends with girls, but i think their a little jealous cause i hang out with all their boyfriends and crushes. i dont want to change who i am and start to be prissy, because thats not who i am! but my question is: is there any way i can get boys to notice me more without changing drastically?

thanks in advance
Holly

You sound just like me! I'm the girl who's invited to video game tournaments and boys' poker night, but can't get a date to save her life.

It's a really tricky situation. To really set yourself apart as a girl, you'd have to go to extremes, because, let's face it, these guys think of you as being one of them.

My advice: wait it out. I always had the same problem, and then I managed to find a guy who was actually looking for a girl who could hang out with his friends. I know it's really hard and irritating, but the best things come to those who wait.

Q: and i'm not allowed to take nyquil due to previous events...what should i do? i'm freaking miserable here...

Try Cepacol cough drops. They have an anesthetic in them that numbs your throat, which really helps.

Try avoiding hard foods, too. I like to eat sherbet when I have a sore throat, because it goes down easy and it feels good.

Good luck!

Q: hey y'all, im a freshman and i thinm reality just hit me harder than anything today. we go this letter home in the mail today with the high honor roll+the honor roll students listed, and my name wasnt on it. and im really scared about my life, because i dont do any extra cirricular activites. and im afraid im not gonna get into colege. if i start joining clubs next year do u think ill have somewhat of a chance? i really dont wanna do anysports becuase most of the people who are on anyof the sports i like look down apon me and it would just be really awkward for me. thank y'all so much!

Don't worry!

First of all, you're in Grade 9, right? Guess what? Your grades don't count until Grade 11! I wish someone had told me that.

Also, most universities actually won't care if you did any extracurricular activities. I know here (in Ontario) they just get your marks. I had one school that wanted a personal application sent in as well, though.

You don't have to do school related extra-curriculars to get into a good school. I did karate for 7 years. You can do volunteer work (always looks good), you can do anything you want, and make sure it's something that you enjoy.

Q: I need some help with chemistry can some one please help me.

I have aim and msn messenger.

I'm in a technology program at university, so I can help you with up to first year university level chemistry.

My msn is amanda_scott_87@hotmail.com and I'm usually online.

:)

Q: i have shoulder length hair and was considering getting a very cute hairstyle i saw in a magazine which is a little below the chin with side swept bangs, but i've noticed that no guys seem to like short hair... everyone i've asked says they only like long hair on girls so i'm just curious why this is and if i should still cut my hair?

As a girl with really short hair, I can answer this one!

I used to have below shoulder length hair, then on impulse one day I got it all cut off to above my ears, kind of a boyish cut.

I found that it took a while for people to get used to it, but now that I'm considering growing it out again, guys are telling me to keep it short!

Guys will usually say they like long hair if you ask them, because long hair comes across as being more girly.

The way I see it, short hair shows off your facial features more, looks better with less effort, and shows that you don't need long hair to be cute and feminine.

My boyfriend bugged me for the longest time to grow it out, but when I showed him a picture of me with long hair, he changed his mind right away.

Go for it! You'll love it, trust me :P

Q: I've thought a lot about death lately, and have found myself very freaked out about what it would be like to not exist and that this is my only life. Dying and being nothing and not even knowing for forever scares me a lot.

Any advice or reassurance would be nice. Anything concerning Jesus will automatically get your question rated a 1 and your face ripped off.

Ahahaha. Don't worry, no Bible thumping from me... I'm an atheist ;)

The way I see it, what's so scary about nothing? We're born, we live, we procreate, we die, we get digested by micro-organisms and are returned to the earth. Nothing else.

I deal with it by living for this life. Because I don't believe in an afterlife, I focus on trying to life this life to the fullest.

The only way to achieve immortality is through memory. Try reaching out and touching someone else (emotionally!). The more peoples' lives you affect, the longer you'll live on in memory.

So instead of focusing on the nothingness after, focus on what you have here and now, and be thankful :)

bio

My Personal Forum

My name is Amanda and I'm 26 years old. I'm currently studying electrical engineering. Armed with a fairly odd sense of humour and a sunny outlook on life, I'll take on just about anything. I'm also cussedly stubborn, which has its ups and downs. Things get tough sometimes, and I've never been one to run from it.

In my last 8 years with Advicenators, I've gone from honours student to failing out of university (and getting back on top again!), from single to married, from tenant to homeowner.

Until lately, I have been struggling with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder and OCD, which had basically ruined my life and taken just about everything from me. I'm thankful every day for every experience I've had because of this ordeal, because it's helped to make me who I am today. Things like that really make you appreciate what you do have. Now that I'm back in work and school and starting to become myself again, I couldn't be happier. I credit Advicenators with saving my life back when I was a teenager, which is a big part of why I'm still here.

I won't necessarily give you the answers you want to hear, but I'll always be honest and do my best to help.