15/f
i'll be honest i'm not the most prettiest girl ever but i do have a great personality and alot to offer a guy. but alot of guys dont know i exsist. (and the guy i like doesnt really notice me). how can i get a guys attention and to notice me, before i get a chance to show the real me? ya know...something to get noticed first...
thx
I think the most direct approach would be to try talk to him. Just say hi when you see him and see if he says hi back and just carry on your merry way. :D Then the next day do the same and when you do feel comfortable actually talk to him and get to know him and let him get to know you. :)
Although i haven't really specified what you should do to get his attention in any other way the only other thing I can think of is just going up to him and saying, "Oi! Notice me already!" But that would probably not be a good idea. Also, the thing is I don't think anyone should have to change themselves to get someones attention. If guys don't notice you then it really is their loss since they are looking past someone who has so much to offer. It's called ignorance. Most guys feel with their eyes and assume that what girls have to offer is what's on the outside. Also, pretty is only a state of mind so don't think you are any less pretty than the next girl out there. :P
Unless someone else has another way that you can get this guy to notice you it would be kool but personally I think just talking to him would be a really good start. It'll be even more easier if he's at your school (which I assume he is) and in some of your classes since that means you won't be just some random person coming up to him to talk to him. At the end of the day if a guy won't appreciate you for who youo are on the inside then it's a guy not worth wasting your time on. :)
Good luck with him.
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Ok well my teacher at school said something really mean to me in class today in front of the whole class and I really don't appreciate it. I'm really senstivie.
As much as I want to say "you hurt my feelings!" I can't because that's just being..a sissy, looser?
And she made me cry in class TWICE now and I don't do anything bad!
Is there anything i can do or anything to make me feel bettter form her words?
All you can really do is not take them to heart. I know it's very easily said but teacher or no teacher they are still just another person with their own opinion and nothing else. Try not to let her get you down. I will say this though, if you feel you are being bullied by your teacher (which is what it sounds like if she's made you cry twice after victimizing you for no reason) then this teacher has some issues that need to be dealt with.
I think the best thing to do is speak to this teacher alone and explain to her that how it makes you feel when she does what she is doing. Maybe then she will see past her ignorance. You've nothing to lose just by telling her what she is doing is something you don't like siomply becuase that's not what you go into school for nor is it something you should have to put up with. If it doesn't result in any positive results then by all means speak about it to your parents and have them speak to your schools head. If you feel you are up to it you can do this yourself as well and it would then get looked into properly.
This kind of thing shouldn't have to be put up with be it from other students or from any teacher. Having someone hurt your feelings and you wanting to tell them that to stop them doesn't make you a looser at all. The real loosers are the ones who think they are better than you simply because they can make you cry or hurt you.
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when ur having sex what if the condom comes off in your vagina or up the anus. it was just a thought i had today =b how easily can a condom com off anyway i mean whats keeping it on anyway! and also if it did happen how would you get it out?
Interesting thought, hehe. Well, their usually on there quite tight (held in place by how tight they are around the penis since the penis will expand when erect anyway) so in effect they can just slide off (and to many probably have done so too) but generally if this happens it shouldn't be difficult to retrieve the condom afterwards just by pulling it out. If it happens I would imagine that the end/opening would still be visible on the outside of the person in question so if it slipped off it would just be a matter of grabbing the protruding bit and pulling it out and putting a new one on. If somehow it does slip off inside the woman in question during sex then I think it shouldn't be too hard to retrieve it just using two fingers. Although when it comes to anal I'm not sure how easy that would be.
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I've been acting really weird lately. Like there's my boyfriend.. and we're going through a rough time... and like a keep freaking out when he tells me he's gonna call on the weekends and he ends up calling like and hour later... and then he'll tell me he's going out and I'll flip out... but like that just gets me going crazy and I totally freak out. But then I also get upset with other stuff too... like stuff that's happened to me is I cry all the time, for no reason what so ever... i feel like i don't belong here at all and like I feel like I don't want to live (sounds horrible I know)... I get angry really easily...I feel like I don't want to do anything anymore... I sleep really weird.. like I'll sleep and then wake up from a horrible dream or just keep waking up... or it takes me a really long time to go to sleep... and like sometimes when I fall asleep while waiting for my boyfriend to call I'll wake up and then just freak out and jump up and get my phone and start calling him a million times.. and i can't concentrate that well.. and like this is on a DAILY bases... I have no idea what's wrong with me.. but please give me some advice
Hi.
It seems you are going through a lot of things all at the same time and trying to deal with all of them all at the same time is just making things worse. I do think however that they are all related to each other as well.
I think the most help I can be to you is by advising you to seek professional help with everything because you could just be suffering from stress. It seems with everything weighing down so much on you it has started to take its toll on you which may explain the sleepless nights and the freaking out and crying for no reason. Speaking to your family doctor might be the best thing to do to see what he/she can advise as they may suggest seeing a specialist who can help you further and on a more professional basis in dealing with all the things that are going on as well as getting to the root of what is causing all the stress in the first place.
I'm not familiar with these pills that you take, are they pain killers? If they are then you're only pumping your body ull of the stuff for no reason as they wouldn't really help with you feeling upset so it might be a good idea to try and stop, or at the least to cut down, on your intake of these tablets. I can understand why people cut and why you do as well and just saying to stop is pointless nor would I ever force anyone to stop but I will say again, that there are other ways to deal with this stuff other than hurting yourself in this way. Don't let people put you down either. If someone says something you don't like then let them - it's only their opinion and it means nothing more than that. At the end of the day the only opinions that should count are of those who are your friends and those who love you.
If you'd like to talk in more detail about things by all means feel free to message me to my inbox but I think the best thing you can do is speak to your family doctor or a counciler as they would be able to advise you on a more professional level and provide you with a lot one-on-one help.
Good luck, do let me know how things go.
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ok , so me and my boyfriend have been going out for 8 months now & there are thesee [ 3 ] girls who he's known sence like elementary school & were in highschool now . but i mean only 0NE girl is so called justins like " sister " the other to aint & i swear they dont like me , i mean seriously ; justin might not see it [ boyfriend ] but i definatley can ! i know for a fact that they do shit to piss em off , hug him infront of me and go to his house sometime . ughh ! & today it really pisses me off because all THREE of them sent him comments to today sayin ' i love you justin ' & nothing else
wtf do i do ?
::UPDATE::
So talking to him didn't work at all? :/ Write me in my inbox and will reply to you there in more detail but what exactly was it that happen or was said between you and him?
::--::
Hmm, it could be they are doing it even more because they know it annoys you, in which case just ignore it and eventually they'll see how stupid they look. Thing is if you trust your bf as well then you certainly do have nothing to worry about at all since it's just words which, as I said, is just to try and annoy you. If, however, this is becoming annoying to the extent you really do want to do something about it then the best thing I can suggest is talking to your bf about it as it would seem like the lost logical thing to do. I mean ask him to put himself in your place. If you had some guy friends telling you they love you and hugging you and infront of your bf I would imagine it would start to piss him off pretty quickly. The other thing is he may just put it all down to you being jealous but do explain to him exactly what it is that's annoying you about it all.
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15/F
sorry for the length.
please, just read and respond.
Here's the deal. This isn't one of those stories where I ask advice for my friend. It really is him. Alright, well a little while ago I went to my cousins house and I met his neighbor whom I clicked with immedietly. We had this instant atraction that was werid because Iusualy wouldn't go for guys like him. I'm a good girl, because of the choices I make, and he's more of the bad boy who's been through alot. So we liked eachother a little bit, but he lives about an hour away and I have a boyfriend, and he had a girlfriend.The feelings faded how I wanted them too. When we got to know eachother, he told me that he cuts. I got him to stop and he promied me that he'd never do it again, but only because he loves me and that he wants to make sure that I trust him. I got him through alot of stuff and I became his "hero" as he says. A little while after that he told me that he missed his ex and that his life meant nothing to him anymore and I had to convince him to not take his life. I don't say anything inconsiderate and I talk to him about his feelings. I know how to play. He thanked me for the help and everything was fine for awhile. Then, yesturday, he told me that he broke up with the girlfriend that he currently had because they lived far away. I asked him if I could help and he said no, because, "It scares me how much I care about you, and I can't take loving you anymore." I didn't understand what he meant by this and I tried over and over again to ask him but he never gave me the explaination that I wanted. I thought we were over what we had, but maybe he doens't like me anymore. I asked if he still had feelings for me and he said yes, but I just really don't know. I asked him if he broke up with his girlfriend because of me and he said that he didn't know. I'm gonig up to my aunts house on monday and I'm gonig to see him because he is my aunts neighbor. I'm just afraid that things will be different and that I'll make him feel weird. We had somthing, I'll admit. I love the boyfriend that I have right now and I don't want anything to rekindle with my aunts neighbor. I want to be there for him, but I don't wnat to fall for him. I had a big problem with this last time and it almost caused me and my boyfriend to brake up. This kid means alot to me, and he changed me as a person and I see life alot differently. I just recently lost one of my best friends and he helped me get through. Now I want to be there for him. I can't have him take his life or hurt himself. Please...please help me. I sound desperate, but what would you do if you were me.
you could help me, help him save his LIFE.
thankyou and God bless all who resppond.
I don't actually know where to start because most of what I am going to say will more than likely sound insulting and certainly not nice but regardless, it's from experience as well as being in my nature to see how full of shit some people can be.
The first thing that caught my attention is that line he said to you... "It scares me how much I care about you, and I can't take loving you anymore." It seems pretty straight forward what he's saying... he's saying he likes you and he can't take it because liking you means he can't have you (you have a bf and I assume he knows this). I also have a very strange feeling that when you do meet him he may say he loves you but can't have you so he doesn't want to live anymore etc, etc, etc. If he does - how predictable. I admire your need in wanting to help but you have to be clear headed and know when you're being played for a fool - just incase that is what this guy is doing. For all you know he may have been using the same crap to keep his ex around until she finally decided she had enough. The truth is you only have one side of the story which is his side.
As for this problem with you and your boyfriend and how you don't want there to be a problem popping up again with this other kid, if this is really what you want then I suggest you go there knowing full well what your getting yourself into. He obviously likes you (even admitted it to you) and he needs emotional support (apparently). So be prepared for that and also KNOW when and where you need to draw the line. If you love your bf you've no excuse to fall for him. If you really are that scared then ensure he knows straight out that you only think of him as a friend and nothing else. You will need to make sure he understands this very clearly. If you told him anything about how you felt he will see it as a weakness and know that he has a chance of being able to pull you away from your bf. More to the point though, what gets me is that this guy says he broke up with his gf becuase of distance but then you're also an hour away from him anyway. It's not like he would be able to see you on a regular basis is it?
Overall I really do admire that you want to help this kid but be smart and don't get caught up in any emotional blackmail in the process. If I'm wrong about this guy (which happens on rare occasions) then I really do hope you manage to help him out but at some point he will need to help himself out as well. As someone once said, you can open the door but he's the one who has to walk through it.
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I don't know either do you think he is really trying to be my brother or he is just saying that?
To be honest I don't know. Most guys if they still like you will act defensive and say they are your friend but they would rarely go as far as saying they are like your brother. So either he said that without realising what he was saying or he really does feel that way. I think one of the best ways to find out might be just to ask him about it and ask him if he really meant what he had written about him being like your brother, and see what he says. :)
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you recently answered one of my problems and if you don't mind ide like to ask you a little bit more about it.. ok well i looked at your advice and it made alot of sense, but the problem is she dosent talk to me as much as she did a while back.. and i just want to fix things and one of my friends was saying she didn't mention me about anything when she asked who she was at the mall with.. which means ive really messed this up and i just don't know how to fix it.. -thanks
Hmm, thats really strange. It might just be that you ave pushed it a bit much hence she's become the way she is. I think best thing you can do is totally chill out when around her. Have a laugh with her and her friends and just try to create a more friendly environment around her so she doesn't feel awkward or anything like that around you. When she eases up a little she will automatically just start talking to you and you can let her know what you need to tell her (about wanting to fix things). I think once you have all that cleared up with her things should slowly turn back to how they were although do remember it may take some time.
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I have a guy friend who recently moved from across the country who I really click with, we hug all the time and can talk on the phone for hours, but he has a girfriendfrom "back home". I'm starting get a crush on him, but I would never do anything to hurt his relationship. I have always believe that long distance relationships dont work for very long and as sweet as they are together, I just dont think it can last.
I just want to know if you guys think there is a chance he likes me back.
I think I should wait it out and just be there for him if/when its over.
but i dont knoww
:/
Although some long distance relationships don't work I can't say that applies to all relationships. I've seen many long distance relationships last it out, depending on the people involved and how loyal the couple are (i.e. how easily either can be made to cheat on the other).
Regarding whether he likes you back or not I have no clue. To be honest there's not really much information there to suggest one way or another so that's somehting you should really ask yourself and judge for yourself but you've also said you don't want to hurt his relationship in which case what to do should be pretty simple enough which is leave things be until there is such a time that you can do something. If he does break up with his gf because of the distance (or any other reason) then by all means tell him how you feel and such) but until then it's really all down to you.
Bottom line... you can tell him and you'd go back on wanting to not hurt his relationship because him knowing he has someone closer might be all he needs to dump his gf (most guys cant hold a relationship where there's no physical contact be it sexual or otherwise). On the other hand if you don't say anything someone else could very well come along and do so in which case you may lose your chance with him altogether anyway. On the other hand you can just not say anything and wait it out and see what happens.
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There`s this girl that I was best friends with all last year, but to make a long story short, she didn`t alot of things and started alot of rumors about me. So, I tried to gradually break away from her, but I learned something about her today. Her brother is one of my best friends and he`s not the type to break down crying over nothing. In school today, he started crying and put his head on his desk, so I asked him what was wrong. According to him, his parents have been beating them since around September. I remember the girl calling me in September when her brother had start crying (this was the first time it had happened) and I had asked her about it. She told me it was because her father had hit him, but then the next day she called and said that she was joking. The orphanage place came to the school today after her brother went to the counselor and called her to the counselor as well. Even though I strongly dislike this girl, I honestly want to help even though I`m not sure why. If that makes any sense...any ideas of something I can do for them or to at least cheer them up to let them know that someone cares?
Makes perfect sense and to want to help someone who you don't like is a show of great character and heart, I bow to your wisdom.
You never need a reason to help someone. i mean all these people on advicenators do so for their own reasons but many are probably here simply because they want to help and not for any real specific reason. I think if everyone could do this, to just help for the sake of helping instead of asking themselves why they should help, then the world would be a far better place than it is.
I think the best course of action might be to just let either of them know that you're there for them. In a time like this, with what they are going through, the most important thing they could want is a friend. Just that could make the world of difference. So letting them know that they have you there as a friend if they need someone to talk to because their not alone could probably be the best thing you could do for them to show them that you care and want to help.
“Teach me to feel another's woe,To hide the fault I see,That mercy I to others show,That mercy show to me.” --Alexander Pope.
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I know he wants a gf but I told him i'm only settle down for a friendship because i dont have that chemistry for him. We hungout at the mall and went into a store and he wanted to buy me something but i said no you dont have to. I feel bad but he said no its not bad i just want to buy you something like a friend would buy a gift to a friend. I got confused whether he wants to buy me something shows he cheerish our friendhship or he is trying to get me while we're at a friend's stage. I know that he concern about other guy's comment on my facebook like he asked me who is that guy who comment you on facebook? Where you met him?
I can't believe he called you yo make up girl
that is rude of him and he actually message that guy and said to him that he is a friend of mine and currently a brother too can't stand him calling me make up girl and said to him do not call her make up cuz she has a name. Dose that mean my guy friend havent dropped that feeling down and planning to persue on?
One thing to understand about guys is that it's hard for them to change - period. It is pretty much for anyone really but telling a guy who likes you to stop feeling that way about you is not an easy thing to do. It will happen but it will take time. Some will just move on even though they may still have lingering feelings still there for you - it happens and it's all a part of life, he will get over it.
I've had friends buy me things all the time even though we're just friends (I liked her and she only wanted to be friends and when we were hanging out one day she brought me a top as a gift just because she said it would look good on me). She did it just as a friendly gesture and that's it so he may have pretty much done the same. The whole thing about facebook and that message you got could just be down to him being jealous or he really did find it offensive, what that guy had referred to you as. Personally I think he may have slightly overstepped by sending that message to this other guy, if anyone should have said somehting about it, it should have been you if you found it offensive or didn't like it.
He may still obviously have feelings for you but you will just need to give him time to get over them and to move on. The only thing however that makes me think I could be wrong is how he said he was your friend and like your brother... did he mean that or was he just saying that. If he meant it then it may just be nothing but him being overly protective. :)
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If I were to say something to my counselor or a nurse about my depression could they talk to my parents without my permission? I've been wanting to see someone about it but I refuse to if my parents have to get involved. If that is the case, who else could I see about it?
Generally when you speak to your school counselor about anything at all it's kept private and confidential so they cannot tell anyone else about it (but I think this depends on the problem as well as certain other circumstances). This may also depend on where you are since laws regarding this might be different in the UK to the USA. I would suggest the best thing to do is straight out ask your counselor if what you speak to him/her about remains confidential and private unless your permission is sought before anything you say is disclosed to anyone, including your parents. This way you can be certain before you say anything. However, having said this, if you feel depression is the problem then your parents may need to become involved especially if it comes down to you needing medication to deal with the problem but again this is only speculation - your counselor would advise you of all the details beforehand, giving youo a choice in how you wish to proceed. I am curious though, why fight so hard to keep your parents out of the loop? Surely them knowing would be a weight off of your shoulders as well as them being able to provide you with support to deal with the depression, if it is the problem.
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Well I just started in an education program and I will be with the exact same group of students for the next year and a half. One of the girls has invited me to her wedding social. This is a dance where they have a silent auction, food, family, and it is prior to the wedding by a few months. It is on a Saturday night. A lot of people in my class (a class of about 35) are going. I already bought two tickets to show my support. Well my parents are having a dinner on sunday afternoon, and they really want me to come out for the weekend. I have not been home since the end of august. I didnt go home for thanksgiving either because my boyfriend and I went to his parents' for thanksgiving. I also have 4 younger sisters who will be there, 3 of which I rarely see. My older sister and her 3 month old baby might also be there. I'm not sure why they decided to have a dinner (a big turkey thankgsgiving stlye dinner) but they are. when I told my mom about the social-she asked how well I knew the girl. Well, I dont know her as well as another girl in the class knows her. What should I do? Is it social suicide to not go to the social or am I overanalyzing things?
I think I'd have to agree with what Jack said about family and such.
It seems you rarely get to see family especially with them all there at once so it may just be a nice idea to go and see them all and show that they are important to you.
At the end of the day it really is up to you on what you decide to do but I think just missing this one thing wouldn't be so bad. In effect, parties will come and go often enough where you'll ge tthe chance to meet everyone and mingle and such but who knows when you might get another chance to be with all your family at once, especially 3 of your sisters who you rarely see. Lots of food, time to catch up and drinks and such - it sounds like it'll be great. :D
As for the social, you;'ve nothing to hide. If anyone asks why you didn't go just say you wanted to be with family since you rarely get to see your sisters and this was your chance to see them as well as all your family all at the same time at a family get together. I'm sure they would understand. :) However, as I said, overall it's your decision to make. :)
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so me and my ex-boyfriend are basically best friends. he knows me better than anyone and we get along amazingly. so this weekend i finally gave into the fact that i am still inlove with him and want to be with him more than anything. im 17 and hes 19 and i dont want to hear that whole you dont know what love is so young because i think i know how i feel because he still has feelings for me too. anyways, he has a girlfriend and i told him but i also told him that i dont want them to break up because i wasnt telling him in the hope that he would dump her, i was telling him because i thought he should know and he was okay with it. so he was complaining to me about her yesterday and later that night i got an email saying he needed to talk to me. apparently when they were having sex, he didnt moan her name; he moaned mine. she stormed out calling him a damn cheater and he was telling me about how he doesnt know whats going to happen. so i got home from school today and i got another email saying that they are officially over. i dont know what to do, i love him and i know he cares about me and i know we both want to be together but im not sure if hes ready to jump back into us again because i know i hurt him when we broke up but hes such a better person now. any insight? im sorry this was so long
Seems you have already pretty much answered your own question. :/
It is a little soon to jump right back into something especially since he has just broken up with his girlfriend too.
As for not being sure about whether he wants to be with you or no, I think him moaning your name in the middle of sex with someone else is a clear indication he has you on his mind although I do find it weird that it's only ever happened after you confessed how you feel about him and never before then. But it might just be me since I'm kind of suspicious by nature.
Overall it's up to you but talking to him certainly will be a good start to see where you both go from here. If you feel he does need some time to adjust to what happened with his ex then by all means say so and let him know you just want to give him some time to clear his thoughts before anything with you both happens.
Good luck with things. :)
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does anal sex feel good? is it possible to orgasm with anal sex? is it harmful in anyway? does it hurt? thanks in advance.
Well... I can't say I've ever experienced it before (although I know a few who have) and to be honest no-one is really in any position to be able to tell you if it feels good to you other than you. Some people like it and others don't. If you think having something up there will feel good then there you have it but on the other hand if the idea doesn't appeal or you do like it then, again, you have your answer. At the end of the day only you can answer that question for yourself.
Yes it is possible to orgasm through anal sex although I was told it required a little more stimulation (of the clit) for those I know who had an argasm through anal sex. Anal sex alone for them didn't do anything. The only reason most guys like anal sex is becuase the muscles of the anus are really strong so guys tend to get a really nice feeling through anal sex. It seems to really be the only reason any guy likes it.
It can be harmful, yes. Having anal sex then having vaginal sex straight after (without cleaning up first) is certainly not recommended because of the number of bacteria that can be transmitted that way from your anus to the vagina. Anal sex is also more dangerous than anal sex (when it comes to being safe). The tissues of the anus are very thin and can therefore very easily be torn or damaged during anal sex. even light injuries can lead to any number of bacteria, virus and infections. If you really do have to have anal sex protection is obviously a very good idea as well as a very good lubricant. The anus, unlike the vagina, will not lubricate itself therefore you and your partner have to do this part yourself to ensure you are protected. Not only will it help with the pain to a certain extent but it will also slightly reduce the risk of damage although I want to be very clear when I say just using lubricant will not guarantee that you're safe from any damage from anal sex as this is not the case at all.
Hope that helped.
You can get more information on this subject by trying a search in google.
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okay, well i'm just curious about this.
i'm on my period, and i gave my boyfriend a hand job. and he skeeted/cummed in my hand and i wiped it off, and i went to go change my pad and stuff and it touched the bottom of the pad. can i get pregnant by that?
and can you get pregnant when you're on your period? (no i did not do it when i'm on it, i'm just wondering)
is there any other way you can get pregnant besides vaginal sex?
If all you did is touch the bottom of the pad then no, you won't be pregnant so you've not really anything to worry about on that part.
As for being on your period and falling pregnant - yes, you still can. Only sure way not to do so is to be protected. :) For the rest of your questions the other advisor already pretty much already answered them. :)
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this imvu is so messed up. how do you start chatting with people in 3d? i think i downloaded it, you can be a guest and still chat in 3d, rite? well, there is just something wrong with this and i kno that i must have missed something... i really want one... so please help me on this imvu prob.... ~thanks~
I've always found IMVU to be extremely laggy (even with my high-speed broadband connection). It seems they've never really gotten it off of the beta. :/
Anyway, as for your little problem - yes you should still be able to chat even though you are only registered as a guest. I'm not sure how much the program has changed chat wise lately as I was only on there to check up on my IMVU points (400k ftw so far, lol) but last I recall (and I don't think it would have been changed) the software you download - you set it to chat/online/accept invitations. From there IMVU will randomly send someone your way you can chat to (I think you can specify what age you want them to be and such). You can also go to the IMVU web site where you can find a list of rooms created by people on IMVU that you can join to chat in where there are groups of people per room (max I've seen per room is 10 so far).
Basic thing to remember is if you want to just randomly talk to someone then make sure the software you download is set to allow this (very similar to MSN's online/offline setting) and if you're looking to chat in a chat room then use the web site to find a chat room but ensure that the room you enter is okay for you as they boot out people who shouldn't be there i.e. if you are under 18 and enter an adult chat room.
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22/f
Ok there has been this guy I have had my eye on for awhile. His name is Terry. He is one of my friends and past few months we constantly are flirting about the littlest things. You know what any friends do.
Well I attended a baby shower for a friend of mine and I was talking with her sister in law Lorena. As small as my town I knew her from elementary and high school but were never really friends because she is a couple yrs older then me but we had to interact with each other because we had band together. Any who... We were reminiscing really getting along like we were old friends since she didn’t live in town anymore. I told her that I did karaoke in town and stuff like that. We made plans to hang out when she would come up again since she was coming up on the weekends to see family.
To fast forward I was doing karaoke last night as usual. Also to say this is the same place where Terry worked. He was the one that told me about way before I liked him so now it is a bonus that I like him and I get to sing for him.( and i can sing) well i was in the middle of singing and suddenly I see Lorena. It was a surprise but thought it was cool. We got talking and everything was cool. During the night outta the blue she asked me what kind of guy Terry was. Apparently they met a couple months ago. In my head (as all we girls do) panicked. But played it cool. I didn't say anything wrong about him, saying he was my friend and all that. Well she left a bit later because she had only an hour’s sleep the night before. And she was crashing at his house. I have done it myself, so it not a big deal because lots of people crash there. Everything is all spread out. And he owns his owns house too. I even walked her up to his house since his house is right up the street. I was suppose to have lunch with her the next day before she left for San Jose, but got busy with things. Well turns out so did she because we didn’t hear from each other all day. I thought she might have gone home. I was just about to leave my best friends house and decided to call Terry to see if he wanted to hang out before I headed home. We have an IM convo where I have gotten home and he wanted me to come hang out and watch a movie but had to take a rain check because he lives a half an hour away. So I was checking before hand. Said sure so I made my way down there. What I didn't know is Lorena was STILL there. Was not expecting that. But i was not going to make anything of it. We were all just hanging out. Me and Lorena kinda ganged up teasing and picking on terry. funny it didn't help when Terry's ex suddenly calls outta the blue that hadn't talked to him in over 2 months and I answered the phone.( he told me to) Lorena tried making terry feel better by giving him a long hug and such, I even tried getting in on it like a Terry sandwich. After that I felt as though I was fighting for his attention. And that is not me. We continued to hang out and watch the movie. We it was getting late and Terry was getting tired and since it was late Lorena decided to stay and not take the 2 hr car trip home. So they got cuddled up in his bed as I was leaving. I know I shouldn't be thinking anything of it because I have cuddled with him myself in his bed and nothing happening. I need help to know if I should fight for him or let it go and try to pursue something else. Also fighting over someone is pretty childish. But I do really care for him, but i am not going to fight for him if he doesn't want to be with me and her instead. It is wrapping my brain if I should let them be and not worry about it. Or should I put myself out there? If and if so how without changing who I am? I need everyone's opinion good or bad. I gotta hear it sooner or later.
To an extent I would say I'd have to agree with what Lola Marie had said. He does seem to be enjoying the attention he's getting and getting you to answer his phone for him knowing it's his ex is suspicious of that unless he never saw who was calling or since breaking up with her he had deleted her number?
I don't think it's a big deal having a friend sleep in the same bed. I've had friends do the same with me many times as well (usually they just invite themselves) and it means nothing but, again, Lola Marie has a point in what she says.
All I can really say is you shouldn't have to change who you are for ANYONE! You are who you are and if someone won't take you for that then their not worth it anyway. Also, as you said, there's no point you fighting over him if he doesn't want to be with you. Have you tried talking to him to see where it is you stand? You won't even need to be very direct about it but you could ask him what he thinks of your friend and see his reaction. See how he feels about her and if there is anything there. If there isn't then maybe there is for you and you can try do something about it from there but on the other hand if there is at least you will know for certain. Either way it really will be up to you on whether or not you should 'put yourself out there' but bare in mind also that if you do your friend may assume (judging by the timing of your confession about how you feel about him) that it's all down to jealousy. You'll just need to try ensure that's avoided but do keep your eyes open to make sure he isn't playing you and your friend behind each others backs.
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about two months i ended a 3 year relationship with this guy and about 2 weeks ago my first boyfriend called me out of no where and he wanted to go get a coffee together and that was it . ever since we have been hanging out and. My family loves him and they thing his great but i dont know wut he wants. He says that he wants to take it slow beacuse i just go out of a relationship and when i ask him wut we are he says we are not friends but we are not boyfriend and girlfirned either. i just dont know where i stand. We have great sex but should we stop. He is a great guy for the future i mean i want somebody like him in my life later on but right now i dont know wut to do he says he cares about me alot but i feel like there is still something missing like he is still not sure about me. i mean if he isnt i would like for him to say it beacuse i dont want to get hurt at the end. Please HElp me
Your not friends but not boyfriend/girlfriend either?! If you're both sleeping together that's hardly taking things slow either (his words). The guy suddenly pops out of nowhere (my guess is that you're suddenly single got back to him from someone) and from what he's saying to me implies all he's there for is a good time - with no strings attached either as a friend or anything more than that.
As someone already said - decide what it is that you want or at least what it is that you want from him. Then talk to him and make sure your both on the same page. If you're okay with how things are (baring in mind he's made no commitments so he may just decide one day he's not ready or he's changed his mind etc and just walk away) then by all means carry on and see where it leads but otherwise it all needs to be thought out. As you said, you don't want to get hurt and the sad truth about guys is that most see those who have just come out of a relationship as an easy target and vulnerable and if that's what he sees you as it's someone who needs to be deleted from your life and put into the rejects pile.
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I have a guy friend who for the last 3 days has called me every night and we have talked on the phone for hours. I’m house sitting at the moment and he knows that I’m by myself. He tells me that he calls and talks to me cause he doesn’t want me to be bored or alone. I do have a problem though. He is engaged, but he hardly ever sees her, and when they talk on the phone it’s only for like 15 minutes. Just the other night I was at his house and his fiancé called. I decided to leave like 5 minutes after she called, so I could head over to the house I’m watching. It’s like a 3 minute drive and he called me before I even got there. So that means he hung up with his fiancé and immediately called me, and we were on the phone for three hours. He called me tonight also, and we were on the phone for another 2 and a half hours. That would make this day number four. Friday night he asked me to go to midnight mayhem with him, but we were going to meet up with his friends first. He had called me earlier in the day and made sure I was still able to go, which I was. So I went and the whole time he was pretty much right next to me. Making sure I was okay, and sitting close enough to where our legs were touching. Then on the way home he kept asking and making sure that I had fun. Which I did. Sorry but I have a couple of questions. 1) Do guys really hate to talk on the phone, and if so is our 2-3 hour conversations a sign he likes me? 2) I want to talk to him and tell him how I feel but I’m not sure how to go about it without ruining our friendship. How do I go about doing this? And 3) What would you do if you were in my position?
I would like to end this though by saying that I have no intentions of doing anything with this man unless he is separated from his fiancé.
Thank You!
Firstly for a guy to have a fiance and be interested in someone else at the same time is a clear indication there's a problem. If that's the case he shouldn't be stringing her along. Playing devils advocate the only thing I can say regarding him leaving her for you is for you to ask yourself how long it'll take before you are in the same position as his fiance is/was (not that it might happen).
Now to the questions you asked. Most guys totally hate talking on the phone but there's a difference between talking to a friend, your gf/fiance and strangers. Mostly people just hate talking to strangers and not the others (even though that's not unknown) but for him to talk to you so long and not his fiance is an indication he may like you - or at least to me it is. Hence I stated above he has a problem if that is the case because he shouldn't be stringing his fiance along unless he knows nothing will come of it (could be nothing more than just a crush).
You've not actually stated exactly how you do feel so I can't comment on that but whenever you do change a friendship into something more there's always the risk there that it could mess things up but then on the other hand it may not. Either way the thing to ask yourself is could you be content with not saying anything at all and being okay with that decision in the long run?
Thankfully I'm not in your position so I won't comment on what I would do in your position. :P I however will say I have been in your position before many times. Kudos to you in not wanting to do anything till he cuts off all ties with the fiance - smart move indeed.
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