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Should I fight for him? sorry this is long
22/f
Ok there has been this guy I have had my eye on for awhile. His name is Terry. He is one of my friends and past few months we constantly are flirting about the littlest things. You know what any friends do.
Well I attended a baby shower for a friend of mine and I was talking with her sister in law Lorena. As small as my town I knew her from elementary and high school but were never really friends because she is a couple yrs older then me but we had to interact with each other because we had band together. Any who... We were reminiscing really getting along like we were old friends since she didn’t live in town anymore. I told her that I did karaoke in town and stuff like that. We made plans to hang out when she would come up again since she was coming up on the weekends to see family.
To fast forward I was doing karaoke last night as usual. Also to say this is the same place where Terry worked. He was the one that told me about way before I liked him so now it is a bonus that I like him and I get to sing for him.( and i can sing) well i was in the middle of singing and suddenly I see Lorena. It was a surprise but thought it was cool. We got talking and everything was cool. During the night outta the blue she asked me what kind of guy Terry was. Apparently they met a couple months ago. In my head (as all we girls do) panicked. But played it cool. I didn't say anything wrong about him, saying he was my friend and all that. Well she left a bit later because she had only an hour’s sleep the night before. And she was crashing at his house. I have done it myself, so it not a big deal because lots of people crash there. Everything is all spread out. And he owns his owns house too. I even walked her up to his house since his house is right up the street. I was suppose to have lunch with her the next day before she left for San Jose, but got busy with things. Well turns out so did she because we didn’t hear from each other all day. I thought she might have gone home. I was just about to leave my best friends house and decided to call Terry to see if he wanted to hang out before I headed home. We have an IM convo where I have gotten home and he wanted me to come hang out and watch a movie but had to take a rain check because he lives a half an hour away. So I was checking before hand. Said sure so I made my way down there. What I didn't know is Lorena was STILL there. Was not expecting that. But i was not going to make anything of it. We were all just hanging out. Me and Lorena kinda ganged up teasing and picking on terry. funny it didn't help when Terry's ex suddenly calls outta the blue that hadn't talked to him in over 2 months and I answered the phone.( he told me to) Lorena tried making terry feel better by giving him a long hug and such, I even tried getting in on it like a Terry sandwich. After that I felt as though I was fighting for his attention. And that is not me. We continued to hang out and watch the movie. We it was getting late and Terry was getting tired and since it was late Lorena decided to stay and not take the 2 hr car trip home. So they got cuddled up in his bed as I was leaving. I know I shouldn't be thinking anything of it because I have cuddled with him myself in his bed and nothing happening. I need help to know if I should fight for him or let it go and try to pursue something else. Also fighting over someone is pretty childish. But I do really care for him, but i am not going to fight for him if he doesn't want to be with me and her instead. It is wrapping my brain if I should let them be and not worry about it. Or should I put myself out there? If and if so how without changing who I am? I need everyone's opinion good or bad. I gotta hear it sooner or later.
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To an extent I would say I'd have to agree with what Lola Marie had said. He does seem to be enjoying the attention he's getting and getting you to answer his phone for him knowing it's his ex is suspicious of that unless he never saw who was calling or since breaking up with her he had deleted her number?
I don't think it's a big deal having a friend sleep in the same bed. I've had friends do the same with me many times as well (usually they just invite themselves) and it means nothing but, again, Lola Marie has a point in what she says.
All I can really say is you shouldn't have to change who you are for ANYONE! You are who you are and if someone won't take you for that then their not worth it anyway. Also, as you said, there's no point you fighting over him if he doesn't want to be with you. Have you tried talking to him to see where it is you stand? You won't even need to be very direct about it but you could ask him what he thinks of your friend and see his reaction. See how he feels about her and if there is anything there. If there isn't then maybe there is for you and you can try do something about it from there but on the other hand if there is at least you will know for certain. Either way it really will be up to you on whether or not you should 'put yourself out there' but bare in mind also that if you do your friend may assume (judging by the timing of your confession about how you feel about him) that it's all down to jealousy. You'll just need to try ensure that's avoided but do keep your eyes open to make sure he isn't playing you and your friend behind each others backs.
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