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about

I'm Christina, and I'm 27. I tend to be brutally honest when I give advice or an opinion. I don't tell people what they want to hear but rather what they need to hear. They don't always appreciate it at first, but I usually get a thank you in the end.

I have 15 tattoos, and 8 piercings. I'm married and just gave birth to a baby boy in May. I'm currently a SAHM so you can find me taking care of my son and binge-watching television while he naps.

advice

I'm 18 Ive been dating my bf for almost a year now, and just recently he told me one of his best friends frm the past lives down the block and they bump into each other from time to time. He used to have a supah major crush on her b4 but they got into a fight in HS and stopped talking. I don't know the girl, all I know is what he's told me about her, and that is enough for me to hate her. When he says hes going for a jog I'm afraid it's to see her. What wud you do??!?!? Should I be worried?! Do I have a right not to like her? I'm soo paranoid! :o(

I don't think you have the right not to like her until you've met her. She could actually be a really nice girl in person & you should give her a chance.

I was the same way with my boyfriend's ex girlfriends. I didn't like them until I met them. Well, I've only met one & she's a really nice girl. His most recent ex I probably cannot say the same for, however.

If you trust your boyfriend, you have no reason to be worried. He loves you, & that's all that matters. I think that if you meet her though & then she gives you a weird vibe, it's okay.

Whats some new good songs in the genre of rap & rock. ex: lil wayne & all time low.

Thanks.

All Time Low just released a new song from their new album Nothing Personal which comes out this summer. It's called Weightless.

If you want other bands to get songs from, here are some bands I listen to that you might like:

- Sing It Loud
- Saosin
- Anberlin
- Underoath
- There For Tomorrow
- A Kidnap In Color
- The Sequence
- The Cab
- Mae
- Motion City Soundtrack
- Conditions
- Valencia

You might like those. :)

why is no one asking me anything?
am i supposed to do something and i didn't do it?
i really wanna help people.

thanks

You need to build up your advice column a little more. Let people see your dynamics & your technique. If they like what they see, they'll ask.

It's a rarity that I get questions anymore. You can always help through the View Questions section of the site. You don't have to have a direct question to help. :)

Ok so heres tha thing... Im 18 and Im engaged to a 32 year old. Yes I do love him. But at the same time I have feeling for one of my best freinds. I have been around allen(my best friend) longer and I at one point thought I loved him... But he has a baby on tha way. And all the baby momma drama is driving me crazy. She stalks me and everything. He is always going to have her in his life and he drinks a lot. Hes a great friend but when i told him I loved him tha first time he told me that he was always going to be a cheater. so I got it. I said fuck it and we were just friends until the other day he told me that he has fallin in love with me and we wants me. and now im stuck in this situation. I dont kno what to do. :( I dont know how to let him down easy. I dont even know if I want to. Im just so damn lost..

the man Im marrying is in jail right now. but I love him. we have plans. we are going to move back to Florida.. and Im going back to college down there. and he loves me.

allen well he lives with his mom and dad hes 23 and he just got a DUI and he works at a factory. hes more than likely gonna be living here all his life. Not what I want to do

ugh I need advice :(

Your situation is gross. To be honest, neither of these guys sound good.

Your current fiance is in jail, 32 & has no way to support you or himself when he gets out. Finding a job in this economy is hard as hell. I'm your age, am moved out of my house, live 2000 miles away from my family, and have been struggling to find a job in my new state since I got here. It'll be 2 months on the 11th. Take it from me, life is hard & if you go with this guy, you'll be screwed & not in the good way. ;)

As for Allen, he sounds like a joke too. He lives at home, he's 23, & he got a DUI & he drinks & has a baby on the way. On top of that, he's a cheater. That's just asking for a broken heart. DO NOT GET INVOLVED WITH HIM ROMANTICALLY. If anything, stay his friend. The baggage getting into a relationship with him will bring will be unbearable for you & it's not something you need. Nobody needs the drama of a baby mama, or a baby. If you get into it with him, the baby will be on you for support if she decides to be a lazy mother. She should seriously be on:

www.whythefuckdoyouhaveakid.com

Break off the engagement with your fiance, do not get involved with your friend Allen, & find yourself a real man. One who isn't finding himself at home with mom & dad or behind bars. You're 18. You can do A LOT better with your life than throw it away over some scummy guys.

Hello,
My friend and I have been friends since FOREVER!, but she is always constantly taking the guys that i like and every time i try telling her she gets mad and i don't want her to get mad at me and hate me. I mean we have been friends for so long! Also we have had trouble with other friends, for instance if i am friends with someone that she is not friends with and i hang out with them instead of her she will get upset...how can i tell her about the guys and other friends?
Thank You,
Cassie

If she was really your friend, she wouldn't go & talk to the guys she knows you like. Real friends would know you like him & know he's off limits instead of whoring it up the minute he comes around.

Not only that, but she's territorial with you. She gets mad when you hang out with anyone other than her. That's no good either. Your friends cannot be greedy with you & you cannot be greedy with them. Everyone is friends with someone else & everyone has to accept it. My friends from highschool are friends with girls I absolutely cannot stand, but I don't mind it because it is not my decision & I will not make the mistake of getting upset or telling them otherwise. I am usually one to voice my opinion, but I would rather see my friends happy than have them mad at me.

Ditch her. She's trash.

I am a 16 female. Just went through my first break up as of a few hours ago. We were going out for 7 months. He and I both decided to end it and stay friends. Although right now he is pretty pissed off. I am feeling 60% sad, 10% mad, 20% confused and the other 10% is lost somewhere in my brain. I've never experienced a break up before, so all I am asking is for some helpful advice or stories to help me feel better and move on.
Please and thank you!!!

I hear what you're saying. I have been through many break-ups & they're no fun.

But I can assure you things do get better. When I was 16, I was dating this guy who was a marine, and he ended up going over seas. He was there for 6 months & then came home for a few weeks & went back. A week after he went back for his 2nd term in Iraq, he was killed. It's been 2 years and I still don't know all the details, BUT I have gotten a lot better than I was back then.

After finding out about his death, I was depressed. I didn't know what to do with myself & hardly even spoke. I tried to spend my time with friends & to be alone as well. I started dating maybe a few months later because I was SO sick of being alone & this seriously made me even worse. I discovered more hurt, but kept dating anyways because I am very hard-headed & stubborn. However, in May, I met this guy & he's the man I am currently with. He has completely turned me around & I now live with him.

I don't exactly need to keep going with my story, do I? I think you see that the best thing for you to do is just to relax & stay single for a while. Don't jump into dating right away because it'll make it seemed like you didn't really love him (I've had that happen to me) & it'll just hurt you even more. The most I can say is that things do get better & there's always better guys out there. Do not lose all hope. Things get a lot easier in the long run & everything will be fine. However, if you decide you need more help, you can inbox me, and I'll help as best I can, or you can ask for my email or MySpace or something & I'll help you personally through there.

I hope you feel better. Sorry about your break-up!

Okk...I had my heart broken by a guy...that I thought cared about me ...well...he didn't. I just started liking my guy friend...well he doesn't like me...he likes my friend..I think...but she's not the right girl for him...because...she doesn't really care about guys feelings...she dates them for 2 to 3 days...or maybe if the guy is lucky a week! Ok...like...I am single and I really would like a boyfriend.. um..I am a 7th grader...and NO one in my school likes me!! I absolutely don't know why. Ugg...I am really nice...I have a lot of friends and I don't judge anyone.I am fun and silly..lol I'am pretty... well...all my friends say i am all hte time so..and... well...I just don't understand. What I want to know is ...will I ever find anyone? Like..I am 13...but...still... a lot of people have boyfriends in my grade. What can I do, any tips on getting a nice guy?? All...I really want is a sweet caring...lol cute guy!! Gezz..and all those guys are taken at my school!! It's hard to find a sweetie pie...lol Please...anyone try to help!!

You're 13 years old & in 7th grade. Why in the world are you worried about love & boyfriends & relationships?

That is the LAST thing you should be worried about at that age. You need to worry about school & grades & living life.

YOU DO NOT NEED A GUY TO MAKE YOU HAPPY OR TO SURVIVE.

Every girl would really like a boyfriend, trust me, but they are not needed. You can do fine without one, and I think that's what you need right now. Just relax & be yourself. Worry about your grades. Do not worry about a guy because guys come & go.

And honestly, don't even bum yourself out. You only have a little over a year until high school & then there will be a ton of guys around who will be much cuter & nicer. Finding a nice guy is hard, but you can do it if you stay single & get to know a guy first before dating. Don't worry.

okay.. I have like alot of things in the past that i like never want to think again. they not good things to.. how ever. I have few ex freinds are not my freinds and not true friends. and so so i know i have big heart and everything. i am going throught my chest box.. I have old letters from my ex freinds and I have few things from them and pictues. i want find away to get ride of them. i was mail back to them or i just toss in the trash? or i know some will say you sould keep but i don't want to becouse it keep coming back to me and i know where it is. i know some say you put in box and hide it or something.
thanks
Orange butterfly

I have been in the same situation where I have stuff from friends that I am no longer friends with. It was nice to look back on it, but I know for a fact that the friendship will not be rekindled so I burned everything rather than tossing it out.

I recommend you throw it away. If you give it to them, it could just cause more problems & that is the last thing anyone needs.

What are some companies that hire at age 15?

You can try looking for work at a local grocery store. As far as I know, other places won't hire until 16 or 17, and I know for sure some places are 18 & only. You can also try the mall. Maybe you'll get lucky. :)

I need to lose weight. My BMI is higher than it should be and my blood pressure is up. I know that Im overweight and the doctors told me this. I need to lose weight but where do I start?

I dont want to just cut out all junk food straight away because I know i will crave it more and end up giving it in so I want to kind of cut out fast food, then snacks and so on.

Also I dont want to jump in doing 3 hours exercise or something I want to start off with slower exercise. Whats the best to lose weight on your stomach area?

If you can help, I would really appreciate it. x

Ignore the person below me, they're clearly insensitive.

In order to cut out fast food, you always have to have the reminder of what will happen if you eat it. When someone suggests fast food, try to remind yourself that if you eat it, you will get back into the position you're in now & you want to be healthy. If you do happen to go a fast food place, they'll usually have salads on the menu nowadays, so you can try going for that & replacing a soda for a water. Do not eat anything greasy.

The same thing goes for chips, & snacks. Remind yourself what's going to happen & you should be fine. Drink water instead of soda. People will recommend diet soda but DO NOT drink it. Diet soda is a scam. It makes you think it is healthier than regular soda therefore making you buy & drink more which makes it just as unhealthy. Water will always be better for you.

When going to the grocery store, maybe have your mother or whoever buy you some fruits/vegetables that you like & will have no problem eating. I would suggest also getting those diet frozen dinners but I don't know how well those works & I'm not going to recommend them to you if I don't know how good they are. If you feel hungry & find yourself jumping to a chip or a cookie, go for an apple instead. You just need to have willpower.

I would usually say that if you do good during the week & keep to your diet to maybe pat yourself on the back a little & have a munchie. BUT, since you're starting out, that wouldn't be good because your self-control & will power will still be low.

As for exercise, try doing 30 mins a day & then increase it from there when you think you're well enough to do so. You should do some crunches or something. If they're not expensive (I'm not sure) maybe you could get an ablounge or something? You can find them at sporting goods store. I saw one at Dick's but from the way your dialect is, I'm gonna guess you're not from the US. So I'm not sure what stores you have where you are, but it's best to look & do a little research online.

Did your doctor suggest a nutritionist at all for you? Usually when people have trouble losing weight, their family doctor will suggest they see a nutritionist & will usually have a recommendation doctor that they'll send you to. Maybe talk to your doctor about that because a nutritionist can help you a whole better than we can. I really hope this helps & best of luck getting into shape & healthy. :)

this guy i dont know well at all who goes to a catholic all boys school asked me to his senior prom. im a junior. i thought it sounded fun and he was pretty cute so i said yes. we ended up making out and he turned out to be a terrible kisser. he gave me a beard of his spit!!! well i wanted to break things off but didnt. he ended up breaking things off monday after school because some girl he really likes wants to go with him. hes appologized a million times and claims to like me and says he wants to hang out with me again really badly and hes going to make it up to me. ive been really short with him. is it normal though for me to feel really insecure and upset after this though even though i didnt really want to go with him?

What your feeling is normal. Everyone feels bad from rejection. Anger, guilt - it's all a part of it. I don't think you have anything to worry about. If I were you, I'd just feel bad for the girl. She has to have his sloppy kissing.

Sorry you had to go through that. I made a face at that part while reading the question, haha.

Hi. Im 13 And Yes You Could Say Thats Young Buh I Found Lovee. Me And This Guy Were Together For 9 Months. But One Of My Best Friends Liked/Loved Him. I Tried To Ignore Herr And Be Happy But On Friday 13th Feb. She Asked Mee To Dump Him And Yes The Next Day Was Valentines Dayy. I Cried Buckets! My Heart Was Broken. So Me And Him Told Eacother We Will Always Love Eachother. NNow 1 Month On And Him And My Best Mate Are Together. In School I See Them Happy Ectt...Not Long Agoo Me And Him Sat Down And Talked. He Sed That I Will Always Be iN His Heart. And As Im Leaving My School To Go To A New One He Said Hes Ganna Miss Mee. I Miss Himmm Sooo Muchh I Lovee Him... Help Mee Get Over Him. :( x

I can understand both sides here.

Your best friend felt betrayed because she liked the guy you were dating, and maybe you knew that before you dated him. I don't know if you did, just saying. But if you did know, and still dated him, that wasn't be a true friend to her & she had every right to be mad at you.

Now, if you didn't know, & she didn't bother to tell you until it was too late, you were wrong to break up with him. Never break up with someone just because people tell you to. Only dump someone if they are not respecting you, or your morals or if they are abusive in any type of way or if you're not happy with the situation.

If your best friend is asking you to dump your boyfriend because she likes him - do not do it. However, you did & it's now too late to get him back. She is clearly not your best friend because if she was, she would've never asked that of you.

I think you'll have no trouble getting over this kid when you go to your new school. At your new school, there will be plenty more guys & they'll probably be way hotter. You have nothing to worry about. But I think you need to have a talk with your so-called best friend because she's a little fake if you ask me. :)

Good luck!

i got my tongue pierced a few days ago. it costed me 40 bucks, and so far i regret it, terribly. i cant kiss my boyfriend unless he gargles mouthwash, i cant smoke, and i cant eat anything filling until the swelling goes down. on top of that, my tonuge is KILLING me. i know i shouldnt have gotten the piercing if i was going to regret it so bad, but i still did. ive been living off jello and icecream and nutrishakes for the past two days and im so hungry. the healing process takes 6 weeks at most, i think? and the swelling lasts 3-7 days, or something.

my question is, after the healing and the swelling and stuff, i SHOULD be able to smoke regularly and eat what i want and give blowjobs and kiss my boyfriend, right? like, as far as i know, after six weeks, i should be able to do everything i was able to do before, just with a big stud in my mouth, and i have to rinse real good after i eat.

if theres something im missing, please let me know. :) i want to know everything i shouldnt do after the healing process is over. i know what to do DURING. just not what i can do after. so if someone can let me know, (someone who has had their tongue pierced, or works at a tattoo parlor, or just someone who knows their research,) that'd be great. thanks.

I was in a similar situation to yours when I got my lip pierced last June. Good thing my boyfriend was in California and I was in New York though.

A lip piercing is quite the same. No crunchy foods, no sodas or alcohol (obviously on the alcohol, I was 17), & you have to brush, rinse with mouthwash & spray the salt water solution on the wound.

After the swelling goes down, I BELIEVE & this is not for sure, but I believe to the best of my knowledge, that you may eat regular foods again like pizza, or chips & stuff like that. You just can't eat it now because your tongue is swollen & sensitive & it'll really hurt if you eat those. So yes, once the swelling goes down you should be able to eat normal food again. I was starving as well when I got my lip done, but in the end it was all worth it.

And after the complete healing of your piercing, you can more than likely do the things you wish to do. I'm sure you can kiss because it isn't a facial wound like mine was, but you can't use your tongue obviously so you're going to have to peck your boyfriend instead.

If there's anything else you need to know, obviously you can contact the guy who pierced you & ask because they love questions & love to help. Or, you can look online at Google.

Also, even though I do not have my tongue pierced, my opinion & help should be pretty valuable because a lot of the girls in my family have their tongue done, and my older brother got his tongue done as well a few years ago. :) I hope this helps.

I'm 15/F. And i'm dating a guy who is 17. We've been dating for 2 months now, and he's starting to talk about wanting to have sex. I'm still a virgin, and i'm scared to death. I told him I didn't think I was ready yet, and he got kind of aggravated, and said, "that's okay, that's not what i'm in this relationship for anyway" And he's been mentioning it more and more. Any Advice for if i do decide to have sex with him? Or anything else i should do?
I really don't want to lose him.

I have said this before to a million other girls like you, and I will say it again: He's lying to you. Take it from me. I'm 18, and have been through similar situations before.

Older guys usually only want one thing. Not all guys are like this, but most are. And guys can also be very vindictive. They will guilt trip you, & cheat on you until you give them what they want. They'll make you feel bad so that they can get what they've been asking for.

If your boyfriend really meant what he said when he told you it was okay, and that this is not what he's in the relationship for, then he'd be respecting your decision & what you said and NOT pushing you to have sex. He'd stop mentioning it until you finally did. He would wait for you to bring up sex in order to talk with you about it again. He keeps pushing it on you, and that's wrong of him.

I personally believe that he lied to you & that he is not respectful. Also, it's only been 2 months. He wants intimacy from you WAY too quick. You're young & you do not know what you want yet. You have a lot to figure out, and before you do, you should not be having sex. Obviously, you know that.

If you are not ready, DO NOT, and I repeat, DO NOT have sex with him. You WILL regret this decision until the day you die. Sex brings on a lot of emotions, thoughts & a whole bunch of baggage that not a lot of 15 year olds are ready for. I honestly think you should break up with this guy.

If he cannot respect your decision, or your morals, then he does NOT deserve you. You need to be with someone who really cares about you & your well-being and your heart. A guy who really cares about you will respect you.

If you decide not to take my suggestion (which you don't, advice is always optional to be taken) then PLEASE, PLEASE wear protection. Either have birth control, or a condom, or even better - have both. And before you hop into any intimacy with a guy, make sure you are completely ready, because like I said, you will regret it.

I hope this really helps you, and I hope you can see where I am coming from. I really think you should find someone new because you deserve A LOT better than what you are getting. Please keep me updated, & I wish you the best of luck sweetie. :)

I hate it when he looks or talks to a girl. it bothers me! ugh i hate it so much.
all of the stupid girls in school like him.. i feel like hes never gonna be mine 100%. we've been going out for almost 8 months and im not happy at all, i mean like im happy with him.. we're both in love and stuff but i feel like my head is gonna blow up.. everyday i start thinking crap.. and i fill my head with stupid dumb thoughts about him being with another girl and stuff.. he tells me that he only wants me and that he loves me and yeahh im just scared :[

what if i stop being jealous & i finally trust him 100% and then boom.. he cheats on me? i will feel like garbage, like nothing. that would destroy me. i dont know what i would do :/

i need help.. i hate being jealous. I DONT WANT THIS ANYMORE :[ its ruining my relationship.
every day we fight bc of me. bc of my jealousy.. bc of girls. :(

I dont want to lose him. ever

I don't think it's him that you do not trust. I think it's other girls. Girls are envy filled, vicious and manipulating. If they see something they want, they will do everything to have it.

I can completely understand where you're coming from. Except with me, I was jealous of my boyfriend's past girlfriends. All I could think about was him being with them & how happy he must've been but he really reassured me a ton until it finally got through my head. But before it totally sunk in, he showed me what they look like (I was CONVINCED they were prettier than me). I was wrong. These girls were troglodytes. Knowing I was prettier made me feel SO MUCH better. :)

I think you should trust your boyfriend. If he's telling you that he loves you & that it's you that he wants to be with, you should trust & believe that. If what he was saying wasn't true, he wouldn't be with you. Correct?

I don't think you need to worry. Just because girls like him doesn't mean it's completely bad. Those girls are DYING to be you & they're jealous OF you. You should NOT be jealous of THEM. I hope you can really see what I'm saying here & give it a lot of thought. Good luck!

K so I really love this guy and he loves me too (did i mention were datin?) Anyways weve never frenched yet but I want to.What should I do?!

Either make the first move, or tell him you want to take it to that level.

Which is the best free e-mail server? I have verizon so, I could use verizon.net. I was also wondering if you could give me pros and con to each. Thanks a ton!
~Sky
ps. I am using Gmail, and was wondering if there was a better server out there.

I usually use Yahoo!, but just recently switched to Gmail. You can join Yahoo, obviously by going to www.yahoo.com & creating an account. :) It also qualifies you for Yahoo! Messenger if you'd like to download that too.

Ok so I heard these songs by some band. It was like a remix of these songs. It sounded kinda sceneish. I heard Disturbia, When I grow up, and Love Song. Do you know who these are by? Thanks so much!

You were probably listening to the second edition of Punk Goes Pop which is cleverly called Punk Goes Pop 2.

The songs you heard were not by the same band. Songs on the left, artist on the right.

Love Song - Four Year Strong
Disturbia - The Cab
When I Grow Up - Mayday Parade
Baby, One More Time - August Burns Red
What Goes Around - Alesana
I Kissed A Girl - Attack Attack!
Toxic - A Static Lullaby
Beautiful Girls - Bayside
See You Again - Breathe Carolina
Flagpole Sitta - Chiodos
Over My Head (Cable Car) - A Day To Remember
Smooth - Escape The Fate
Apologize - Silverstein
Ice Box - There For Tomorrow

It's a cover album (meaning the bands do their version of a song). The CD came out early March-ish so you can still go pick it up. I like every song on the album except for the cover of Baby, One More Time. It's a good CD, and maybe if you have the money, you can pick up some of the other editions of the Punk Goes ... series. :)

+ You can also find these bands on MySpace. I'm not sure if all of them have their covers on their playlist, but I'm positive that some of them do. :)

if you have butt sex can you get pregnant?

No.

15/f

Hi, me and my boyfriend 16/m have been together for 11 months (a year in 2 weeks). But now I dont know if I can even make it to a year. When we first got together everything was great, but I guess that's how it is in most cases. He started to change a little over summer break. Now, it's even worse. I just feel like he lusts me now, and I really don't like it. I told him that I'm not into anything sexual until I'm married (or at lest old enough to know what I'm doing), but he just doesn't seem to get that. He always talks about other girls, he says it's just to make me jealous, I told him that doesn't work on me anymore. He rarely calls me unless I beg him to. He always busy, it seems like he loves his computer more than me. I mean, how can I lose to an inanimate object!? I always seem to do everything I can think of to make him happy, but he just doesn't get it. I guess I've changed too. I used to never cry, he used to make me really happy, and now it seems like everytime I talk to him via. phone, I ALWAYS cry. I've gotten more... naive, confused, and I just feel like I lost all respect for myself. I feel if I just get away from him and focus on myself I can regain my self respect. Now, the thing is, I don't know how to break it to him lol. Now, that I typed this out I see how bad it really was. Could anyone give me some advice?
Much Appreciated~

It seems to me like you're getting a guilt trip. Your boyfriend knows you aren't ready for sex, so he's using it against you. He's making you feel low, and he's hurting you purposely so that you'll give him what he wants.

I know you obviously know better to let your morals & your dignity come first so that's what you should do.

This kid doesn't respect you, or what you believe in, so he doesn't deserve you. I'm glad that you're seeing this situation as it is instead of what it should be. I think you need to stop busting your ass to please this kid. He's a jerk, and he needs to be treated like one.

If I were you, I'd break up with his ass, HARD. He doesn't respect you, so don't respect him. Why should you give out what you are not receiving in return? He doesn't care about your feelings, so stomp his when you dump him.

You need to get out of this relationship altogether and not date for a long time. You need to take the time to get yourself back before you can be with anybody else. And the next time you date, take time getting to know a guy before you date because when you jump into things, they go sour pretty quick.

I hope you can gain the confidence to break up with this guy. Best of luck!

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