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First Time
I'm 15/F. And i'm dating a guy who is 17. We've been dating for 2 months now, and he's starting to talk about wanting to have sex. I'm still a virgin, and i'm scared to death. I told him I didn't think I was ready yet, and he got kind of aggravated, and said, "that's okay, that's not what i'm in this relationship for anyway" And he's been mentioning it more and more. Any Advice for if i do decide to have sex with him? Or anything else i should do?
I really don't want to lose him.
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In my opinion you shouldnt have sex if your not ready. if he leaves you just because you wont sleep with im then hes not the right guy for you. if your not ready for sex yet and you feel like maybe you want to "play aound more" then do that, but make sure he doesnt pressure you into doing anything you dont want to do. good luck and if you have anyother questions let me know.
-Tamera.
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Heeyy sweetie.. =)
I’ve been with some guy for 3 years.. and he just started mentioning about sex.. and he never told me to do it with him.. we just do it on msn.. even when I asked him once.. he told me that he would only have sex with me when he is pretty sure that am ready.. and he had the urge to have sex from 2 years.. but he was sure that I wasn’t ready.. and that I am too young..
So I just wanna tell you that your guy is supposed to consider that too.. and it might help if you confronted him.. and told him that you believe that you’re too young to have sex.. if you saw that he started to lose interest in you.. just leave him.. cause that would definitely give you a green light .. and shows you in which way he loves you..
I wish I helped.. and if you need anything am always ready.. you can talk to me on msn.. emo.baby09@hotmail.com ..
Wish you all the best.. and hopefully he would be the guy you hope he is.. =)
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ayee girl dont sweat it if you really dont want to have sex then you shouldnt.. believe me you dont want to do something that your not ready for.. you should wait .. maybe instead of having sex maybe you should just do oral hand jobb or something..hope i helped girl hehe!
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One 17 year old boy is pretty much like another. At your age, theres nothing this guy provides that another can't match and better, especially considering the someone shitty person you described.
Its already time to move on. You're 15, you shouldn't be in a relationship where theres pressure to have sex. If sex is the only thing thats going to save your relationship, its not worth saving.
I know its hard. It feels great to feel liked. Its a self esteem booster and if someone else likes you that much its that much easier to feel confident in yourself.
Hes not the only guy in the world capable of liking you, and there are definitely guys out there who can provide the maturity you honestly need in a boyfriend.
The guy you're with isn't one of those guys. Time to trade up.
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Hun I'm sorry to break it too you but I think he might be using you for sex.
Read what you wrote here:
he got kind of aggravated, and said, "that's okay, that's not what i'm in this relationship for anyway
Sounds like he is lying to you, If he really cared then like all the others said below me he would of respected you and he wouldn't of gave you any sarcasm about it. I personally think 2 months is to short of a time to be having sex because that is still the period when you two are still getting to know each other and you are only 15 and not having sex isn't the end of the world infact I give you 100% respect for you standing your ground it shows you have self respect for yourself. However, It sounds like he might need to take a hike.
-BahaiMa22
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Keep telling him that you are not ready.
If he keeps talking about it then obviously thats what he wants in the relationship. 2 months its wayy to soon for that anyway and you are only 15. Sex isnt the best thing in the world. I mean like yea come on it feels good and what not but think about the consequences.. You can get pregnant. And you can get hiv/aids herpes and all that nasty stuff. How do you know hes clean?
("oh he told me hes clean") Nope! do not trust him. Tell him to go get checked before anything.
Dont make a mistake.. Just to keep him by yourside. If he wants sex then tell him to go with another girl who doesnt care. :]
ANdd your parents would probably kill you && him. so think about being grounded for ever! lol
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I have said this before to a million other girls like you, and I will say it again: He's lying to you. Take it from me. I'm 18, and have been through similar situations before.
Older guys usually only want one thing. Not all guys are like this, but most are. And guys can also be very vindictive. They will guilt trip you, & cheat on you until you give them what they want. They'll make you feel bad so that they can get what they've been asking for.
If your boyfriend really meant what he said when he told you it was okay, and that this is not what he's in the relationship for, then he'd be respecting your decision & what you said and NOT pushing you to have sex. He'd stop mentioning it until you finally did. He would wait for you to bring up sex in order to talk with you about it again. He keeps pushing it on you, and that's wrong of him.
I personally believe that he lied to you & that he is not respectful. Also, it's only been 2 months. He wants intimacy from you WAY too quick. You're young & you do not know what you want yet. You have a lot to figure out, and before you do, you should not be having sex. Obviously, you know that.
If you are not ready, DO NOT, and I repeat, DO NOT have sex with him. You WILL regret this decision until the day you die. Sex brings on a lot of emotions, thoughts & a whole bunch of baggage that not a lot of 15 year olds are ready for. I honestly think you should break up with this guy.
If he cannot respect your decision, or your morals, then he does NOT deserve you. You need to be with someone who really cares about you & your well-being and your heart. A guy who really cares about you will respect you.
If you decide not to take my suggestion (which you don't, advice is always optional to be taken) then PLEASE, PLEASE wear protection. Either have birth control, or a condom, or even better - have both. And before you hop into any intimacy with a guy, make sure you are completely ready, because like I said, you will regret it.
I hope this really helps you, and I hope you can see where I am coming from. I really think you should find someone new because you deserve A LOT better than what you are getting. Please keep me updated, & I wish you the best of luck sweetie. :)
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All the people that answered this question, are absolutely correct.
don't be pressured into it. You're only 15.
if you say no, and he says fuck it, then move on. Obviously he's an asshole.
But, i'm sure you love him. So just say "i love you baby, but I'm not ready for that yet. I want to wait until I'm more responsible and 100% sure about this idea."
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Well lets just say this:
If you do decide not to have sex for a while and he does leave you, then he wasnt the right guy for you was he.
But, if in a few days/weeks/months time you do feel ready then go for it. aslong as YOU think your ready, and the guy your with is worth taking your virginity then go for it.
But, if you dont think this guy is worth taking your virginity im not saying finish with him because he could be, but you just dont know it yet.
So in other words, to sum up. Just wait untill YOU think the time is right ;)
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Woaahhhh slow down there. You say it's only been two months? I think that's kind of a short amount of time to get to know someone well enough to have sex with them. Now, I don't know this guy personally, but it sounds like he may be using you for sex. However, I don't know him so I could be wrong. There are other things to do if you don't want to have sex yet. I'll assume by your age you know what they are, but if not, just type in "alternatives to sex" in google. I think if you give him sex so early, there won't be that much for you and him to look forward to physically. I mean, sex is like the ultimate goal in a relationship, after marriage. If you do it right now, you two might get bored of it and your relationship could end. If he truly cares about you, he will wait until you're ready. Don't let him pressure you into losing your virginity. It is special to keep your virginity for the one you love and it lets them know they matter, so I think you should wait until you know you love him for sure. Goodluck!
-Jessica 15/f
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