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my first break up
I am a 16 female. Just went through my first break up as of a few hours ago. We were going out for 7 months. He and I both decided to end it and stay friends. Although right now he is pretty pissed off. I am feeling 60% sad, 10% mad, 20% confused and the other 10% is lost somewhere in my brain. I've never experienced a break up before, so all I am asking is for some helpful advice or stories to help me feel better and move on.
Please and thank you!!!
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I hear what you're saying. I have been through many break-ups & they're no fun.
But I can assure you things do get better. When I was 16, I was dating this guy who was a marine, and he ended up going over seas. He was there for 6 months & then came home for a few weeks & went back. A week after he went back for his 2nd term in Iraq, he was killed. It's been 2 years and I still don't know all the details, BUT I have gotten a lot better than I was back then.
After finding out about his death, I was depressed. I didn't know what to do with myself & hardly even spoke. I tried to spend my time with friends & to be alone as well. I started dating maybe a few months later because I was SO sick of being alone & this seriously made me even worse. I discovered more hurt, but kept dating anyways because I am very hard-headed & stubborn. However, in May, I met this guy & he's the man I am currently with. He has completely turned me around & I now live with him.
I don't exactly need to keep going with my story, do I? I think you see that the best thing for you to do is just to relax & stay single for a while. Don't jump into dating right away because it'll make it seemed like you didn't really love him (I've had that happen to me) & it'll just hurt you even more. The most I can say is that things do get better & there's always better guys out there. Do not lose all hope. Things get a lot easier in the long run & everything will be fine. However, if you decide you need more help, you can inbox me, and I'll help as best I can, or you can ask for my email or MySpace or something & I'll help you personally through there.
I hope you feel better. Sorry about your break-up!
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dealing with break ups is different for everyone. but one thing i wanna say is that i completely believe its good to stay friends but wait awhile. because it might make it harder and it will probably make the feelings still linger. so step off for a little. also, this way you can figure out exactly what you want before doing stupid things. and then eventually you might decide you want him back. and i respect that so you can go about it the right way. or maybe you just want to be friends or want nothing to do with him. it just depends on what you end up feeling. and also don't regret. because thats what leaves you behind, and then you just sit there thinking why? so know that all things happen for a reason.
hope i helped.
:]
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You have a few options:
1. Be upset for a really long time and consume yourself in sorrow.
2. Get over it now and move on.
3. Be upset for ONLY the rest of today, and then try to move on.
4. Don't even think about it at all.
The best way to go about it is a combination of the last two; being upset about a break up for too long can really start to hurt you in other areas of your life like school and your family. So, try not to be upset for much longer. Also, try not to be too mad for much longer. The best way to get over a break up is to keep yourself busy with other things. Instead of spending time thinking about him, read a book, go outside, run, exercise, or do something to get your mind off of him and the break up. Soon you'll realize that you really don't need him as much as you thought. You'll start to see you can have fun without him.
I would tell you boring stories about my past relationships, but I pretty much summed up how I got over them from everything I've said.
Have a nice day! =]
--Jack
(17/m)
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Seriously I've learned the best way to move on is distance. (I've been through alot of break ups)
I'll tell you a story, I loved/liked a boy a lot, I was drunk and did something really stupid (don't need to be mentioned) and he dumped me. When i was 100% inlove with him and he was also 100% inlove with me. But he had to dump me. I never forgave myself, but afterwards he forgave me and that's when i forgave myself. But we never got back together even though we still loved each other. That was 1 year, 2 months and 13 days ago. Trust me even though I don't love him (he dated a girl and i dated a guy afterwards) anymore, I'm not completely over him and neither is he. We tried being friends but we would always end up making out with each other and then getting mad at each other. I made out with him when I was dating and he was dating. But all our problems were that we would see each other every single day. When i changed school, and he went to college, and i start hanging out with different friends, I got over him.
I believe it's all about distance.
So don't think about him, and anything that reminds you of him (poem, letter, shirt, pants and etc...) burn them. No connection (no phone,emails, facebook, myspace andetc...). Don't try being friends with him because it's a very bad idea and that will hurt both of you in a way that you would never notice.
Good Luck
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Break ups with a partener will never be easy.. When me and my first proper girlfirend broke up after nearly 2 years we agreed to also stay friends. However, we kept arguing after we had broken up and disagreeing on silly things and our friendship was never the same..
The main advice i can give after a break up especially if you want to both be friends is to give eachother some space. After a mutual break up both of you will both naturally have some feelings for eachother and usually this will get in the way of the friendship. For me having space after a break up is one of the most important things, whether the space is for a few weeks, months etc.. You have to adjust to life without the person and be able to regain your independance.. Its a lot harder to do this when you and the person will still be so close..
Its not true that people who dated cant be friends.. But from my own experiance i found i cant be friends with the person without having space.. Thats my biggest piece of advice..
However you feel right now, just remember that the main thnig that will make you feel better is time..
Wish you the best of luck
Let me know how it all goes
Sanj
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Break ups suck.
I've been through a couple, and I'd like to tell you that it gets easier, but it doesn't :[ however, you do get over it in a matter of time. the first few days after the breakup are the hardest. but you'll get through it.
When my ex boyfriend and I broke up, it was hard because we had been best friends for 5 years, on and off. I tried to pretend ike I was happy, but hiding my real feelings just made it worse. I just had to talk to my friends and take my mind off of it. I had to remember the reasons why we broke up and it was because he wasn't the same person he was in the beginning.
You'll find another guy sooner or later. everything happens for a reason, just listen to alot of music and write down your feelings. Talk to your friends, vent a lot, and try to put the things that remind you of him away some place like in a closet or maybe even the garbage depending on how you feel. scream, cry, punch your pillow, but let your emotions out. holding them in does absolutley nothing. trust me on that. also, don't look at his facebook or myspcae or whatever, it doesn't help. and it just makes you think of them more. don't talk to him for a bit, let yourself and him cool off. and then when you both are more at ease and okay with what happened, try to resolve the problem or at least try to be friends. if that doesn't work. just forget him. no guy is worht your tears. :]
hope i helped ! good luck, xxo. and dont forget to go out and have fun as much as possible !
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