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How do you know what a guy's motives are? Like how do you differentiate between just a crush, a guy that is head over heels for a girl, or a guy that is just trying to get into their pants? I rate high for well-thought out answers. =]
Madison.
Age 18

To be honest with you, this may not help your situation much but its how i perceive it all.. I dont believe there is a set way to figure out what a guys motives are..

Me being a guy myself, i can honestly say that ive learnt how to be sneaky and sly and how to lie to get what i want.. With some people its obvious and a dead give away as they are genuine people.. However, there are some people which are sneaky and sly and will do and say anything to get what they want from someone. To some extent, ive done this myself and ive never been caught.

The only kind of advice i can give you is to learn what the person is like.. Learn a lot about them. Read into things such as body language and learn signs to tell when a person lies.

To me i believe there is no set way to tell what a guys motives are by what he does or what he says. Every person is different and some will be better liars than others. At the end of the day it will all come down to how much you trust the guy if your question is referring to getting into a relationship..

Hope i somewhat helped
Best of luck

Sanj

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I am a 16 female. Just went through my first break up as of a few hours ago. We were going out for 7 months. He and I both decided to end it and stay friends. Although right now he is pretty pissed off. I am feeling 60% sad, 10% mad, 20% confused and the other 10% is lost somewhere in my brain. I've never experienced a break up before, so all I am asking is for some helpful advice or stories to help me feel better and move on.
Please and thank you!!!

Break ups with a partener will never be easy.. When me and my first proper girlfirend broke up after nearly 2 years we agreed to also stay friends. However, we kept arguing after we had broken up and disagreeing on silly things and our friendship was never the same..
The main advice i can give after a break up especially if you want to both be friends is to give eachother some space. After a mutual break up both of you will both naturally have some feelings for eachother and usually this will get in the way of the friendship. For me having space after a break up is one of the most important things, whether the space is for a few weeks, months etc.. You have to adjust to life without the person and be able to regain your independance.. Its a lot harder to do this when you and the person will still be so close..

Its not true that people who dated cant be friends.. But from my own experiance i found i cant be friends with the person without having space.. Thats my biggest piece of advice..

However you feel right now, just remember that the main thnig that will make you feel better is time..

Wish you the best of luck
Let me know how it all goes

Sanj

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i'm sure there is a girl in my collage keep looking to me,and she tries to follow me wherever i go,,and when i have a break i see her around,,you know,i like her but i cant move and talk to her :..( i dont know what to do??

A lot of people that i know and have seen that are really good with girls are still scared to approach a girl..
Its one of the hardest things to do and unfortunatly there is no set of rules n guidelines which will help you to do this..
You have to simply pluck up the courage and make the first move to start a conversation.. Personally i believe its the fear of rejection which scares most guys from approaching girls..
The only way to try and overcome this is to just go out and do it, its gonna be hard everytime you try and approach and start a conversation with a girl you dont know.. Just dont start with a lame pick up line or anything like that.. Start a general conversation without hitting on her at all..

You just have to think of the situation as, "whats the worst that could happen?" she could reject you and tell u to completly get lost, its not likely but even if it did happen, ur not any less better off now..

Best of luck
Sanj

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i need a quote about someone who was very close toyou dying. most likely about my sister who died very young and i love her so much and i need a quote. thank you.

Im very sorry for your loss..
Got 3 quotes which i like:

Love doesnt end with dying, or leave with the last breathe, for someone you've loved deeply, love doesn't end with death...

Tears in our eyes we can wipe away, but the ache in our hearts will always stay...

Remembering you is easy, we do that everyday.. Missing you is the heart ache, that will never go away...

Hope ive helped..

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I love this guy who broke up with me last year. i think he has moved on but i havent at all. we are still friends and i sometimes go to hhis house to hang and stuff but i...love him and i dont think he understands. all my friends are getting their "true love" but i am to scared to tell him how i feel because im scared he doesnt even like me..:( please help

Its a very difficult situation..
I think as for your friends finding their "true love", dont feel pressured.. you dont want to end up rushing into something just because you didnt want to feel left out, which you may realise may be the wrong choice..

I think you need to think and decide wether this boy is worth risking everything for.. is it worth telling him how u feel if there is a chance that he may feel the same way? or are you better off keeping everything inside but remaining friends..

If he is worth the risk.. tell him how u feel..
1 tip i always try and use is to always expect the worse.. that way, if the worse occurs, your sort of prepared.. on the other hand, if the best happens you will be pleasantly surprised...

Just make sure you think about everything carefully before you do anything...

Wish you the best of luck
Sanj

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1. I've made out with guys before but in my current relationship any time i make out with my boyfriend i get saliva around the edges of my lips, is this normal? (have i just not noticed before?)

2. This ones mostly for guys but, where do guys MOST like a girls hands to be when making out?

1. Yeah i think it is normal to get saliva round your lips..

2. I am a guy and it kind of really depends on the sort of making out.. if it is just general making out, over the shoulders or having ur hand on the back of our head kind of running through the hair is nice...


Hope Ive Helped

Sanj

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18/f
Ok so I know this is really stupid of me asking by what are some cute pet nicknames for my boyfriend

Please don't say cutie pie or sweetie I'm looking for something original and cute

LOL.. i call my girlfriend "froggy"... i got to it a long and complicated way of just finding things that rhyme with her name.. and things that sounded similar and ended up with the word "frog" and jus ended it with froggy..

Nicknames can be any name realy which can remind u of the person.. ive heard nicknames such as ladybird just because a girl played red everytime in connect 4.. so it can be anything..

Some orignial nicknames ive heard which will be hard 2 spell.. "Shmookums" "Snuggle-muffin"


Hope Ive Helped

Sanj

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Okay, so my bf and i have decided to have sex for the first time, both of us are virgins. we are mature enough and everything, and i know all about it, but i would just like to hear advice from other peoples point of view. like what advice or tips do u have, and what to expect.

I believe if you think you are ready then to both go for it.. At the same time if you think you are ready and you trust your bf then you should go for it.. It takes your love to another level..

I would advise that when you are going to do it.. Make sure it is something special.. dont try and rush anything - take your time beacuse the first time will be a special time and something you want to remember and share for the rest of your life..

First time for a girl i know will hurt.. So bare that in mind.. There will be some pain for the first time but it will fade as you get into it and you will enjoy it..

I think the first time for a boy can be a lot easier than for a girl...

As you both are virgins.. help eachother out.. point the other in the right direction so you both enjoy it the best you can..

Hope Ive Helped

Sanj

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f/17
me and my boo, weve been talking for a long time like 6 months, and i think its time i ask him out since hes so shy. I seriously think hes never been in a relationship before and im surprised he grabs my hand wen we walk or puts his arms around me alot. I want to ask me out but dont know how. Hes really shy with that, and how can i ask him to be my boyfriend without flipping out, like getting a heart attack because he gets nervous?????I really want to be his girl, i need advice. How can i ask him to be my boyfriend???

Well, i think if you guys are really good friends i think you should go about things very upfront.. usually, not always but it is the guy which asks the girl out, some guys may take it the wrong way if you ask them out.. One thing i suggest is not to asm him out, but instead tell him you hav really really strong feelings for him, and let him say something.. He can either reply with i feel the same way or i think we should be friends.. From what ive read sounds to me like there is definatly a connection between the both of you. I think the best thing to do is to go somewhere where it is just you and him, and tell him when you feel right.. You will naturally be nervous but think of it this way, those few minutes of you being nervous could lead to you having years of hapiness. So take the risk!

Once you tell him that you have feelings for him, the ball is in his court, it then kind of forces him to tell you how he really feels. If he says he has feelings for you, the relationship becomes more of a mutual thing and will just happen.

Just make sure you consider every situation that could happn. For example if you told him, and he didnt give you a reply, dont think he doesnt feel the same way, maybe he just needs time to think things through..

About the kissing situation, i think that if once you have told him how you feel and he says he feels the same way, then go in for a kiss - a long passionate kiss. This is a good point to do it as it will kind of break the silence and not make the situation akward as you wont be left with "he said he likes me, what do i do now"..

I wish you luck, let me know what you decide to do and how it all goes..

Hope ive helped..

Sanj

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i dont know why,but i cant make a conversation,i cant be funny,i dont know why no one wants to be my friend. im really self concious(sp?) how do i become wild,fun and outgoing? and funny? like i cant hold a convo. i have like no friends here for some reason. whats going on?i find myself boring,and blah,i dont like it! thanks for any help!

Well, firstly, i dont think not being able to hold a decent conversation, not being funny or anything like that really matters. You should be whatever you want to be and not to change yourself just because you may want friends etc.

Secondly, i used to be alot like you, couldnt hold a coversation, wasnt funny, didnt know what to say to people if it is just me and them etc. Well id love to say there was some magical way to fix all this and you can become very outgoing, but you cant. The way i changed (and not because i wanted more friends - it just happened) was through experiance. I went through lots of times were i would be on the phone or with somebody in person and it would just be dead silence. But you will go through some akward times but trust me after you have had some experiance it can only get better. You start being more confident, and thinking of things to say, even if its just "How are you?".

I dont think you should worry if you dont have friends, true friends will come about and like you for who you are and not what other people want you to be like.

Hope ive helped..
Let me know if you need anything else..
Sanj

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I really need to lose weight but I work from 4-9 so when I get home I eat which is bad. I can't eat on my break because it is only 15 minutes long so I can't eat that quick. Should I just skip eating dinner or what?

The key to loosing weight is not about starving yourself...this does not work, it makes things worse...your body needs a certain amount of fats each day, and if you dont receieve that from you regular food, then any food that you eat your body will store as fats, so starving yourself is not the option..

The key to loosing weight is a healthy diet and regular exercise.

You say you work from 4-9, well in the mornings before you work, before you even eat breakfast, go jogging or do anything that will break you out in a sweat. Morning is the best time for exercise as your body has gone around 12 hours without food while you are sleeping, depending on how long you sleep for. This means your body works off the stored fat straight away, rather if you eat first your body has too work off all the food you just ate before accessing your body fat.

Secondly, do not starve yourself. Instead of having three straight meals (breakfast, lunch and dinner) have 6 small meals in your day. It proportions things out. Try to have a small meal around every 3 hours apart if you can, even if its like an apple and banana. Your body should never really go hungry.

And basic skills, cut out junk food, or minimise it atleast, crisps (or chips as they call them in america) sweets, chocolate that sort of thing. Try to stay off the fizzy drinks such as coke, they contain alot of sugar and do not help with dieting.

Give it a go for two or three weeks, see how it goes, if you need anything else just message me..or email: sanjeev_sangar@hotmail.com

Hope ive helped..

Sanj

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What are the steps to get a girl from hardly noticing you to her going out with you? I am ugly so don't count on looks helping me here. I also don't want this to happen "That ugly guy keeps saying hi to me and talking to me. Its so weird. Next time he says hi to me I am going to say don't look at me"
So detailed guide in how to start.

First thing is first..you are not ugly..you are you...people can like you or love you...

There is no real guide to this sort of thing..If you want a girl to like you, you have to be yourself and not use a guide as a plan to get her to like you. Yeah there are things you can do like help her out when she is in need, always try and be there for her, just take things step by step. Start off with the odd hello and then start talking to her more and more till you both get to know eachother really well.

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ok welllll....do guys findd it weird when girls play video games? or is it cool? and do guys like it when girls are girly but still "boyey"?

P.S. boyey is not a real word..i just made it up...fyi

Yeah most guys like it...i think guys like the idea of girls playing video games but not so much when the girl beats us at it..hah

Personally i am a girly girly type of guy
i fall on my feet for girly girls...

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hi sanj, i need advice again. im still abit confused with all this. i asked for advice before aswell. Im the 15 year old girl who thinks she started falling for her good friend. i have really wanted to tell this boy how i feel, but i just dont know how to. I also have a feeling that he likes someone else, so im kinda scared to tell him now, because then, if he likes someone, that obviously means he doesnt like me. i know that i may regret not telling him, but also, im scared to tell him. i know u might not exactly be the right person to ask, seeing as your a guy, but u can still kinda help me, from a guys point of view....
o and thank you for your advice before. it kinda helped.

x ? x

I still think you should tell him, it is best for your relationship..being honest...

You just have to talk to him, sit him down and tell him, even if he does like this girl, its all about being honest in a friendship.

Ronan Keating - If Tomorrow Never Comes
^^that song you might want to download..one of my favourites...whenever i am going to tell a girl i like her i gotta listen 2 that...it rules! :)

Dont be scared to tell him, if he is the friend you think he is he will be ok with it and things will be fine.

Sanj

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hey i already have the silver razr cell phone. im going to get the pink one, but im going to have to wait for about a week. it says limited adition for the pink razr. so does that mean that they arent going to get more in. my mom jut called ysterday and they said they had 4 left. i dont want to miss out on the pink razr. i rate 5s for all answers. ♥

well i am pretty sure limited edition means that they will only make them for a certain time..

so they might make a few hundred and then stop making them..which will make them rare

so it all really depends whenever they stop making the pink razor..i think it will be out for a little while longer though

Sanj

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I've read some of the advice you have given to other people, I hoping maybe you could help me out. I'm a 14 years old girl. This might be a typical problem but I think I have fallen for the wrong person. The boy I like is totally the opposite of me. I hardly talk to him compare to all my friends. I hear so much about him although I feel like I don't know him. I've liked him for over a year now. I know he is not worth it but it's hard to change my feelings towards him. All my friends tell me to get over him and I know they're right but like I said before it's really hard. Some day's I feel like going up to him and tell him how I feel but I’m to shy to I guess. I don't know whether to tell him or not because the way he would react, he might react as if I never existed or he might react a totally different way I don't know. What do you think I should do? Do you think I’m wasting my time liking this boy?

*CandY*

ok..umm i sorta been in a similar situation with a girl obviously :)

i really really really liked this girl and the whole thing lasted about 2 years...the truth is..1000 of people could yell at you to get over him because he is not right for you or whateva..but it is not jus gonna suddenly happen. i think the only realy way that you are going to get over him is with time...sounds stupid i know...i thought the same thing when i liked this girl...i have liked the person 4 this long and i need more time..i know it sounds really stupid but its the truth...well about the only way i know..

I also know exactly how you feel when you say you dont know if you should tell him or not because you have no idea how he will react, he can be ok with it and be normal with you but there is also a risk he can completly shut you out of your life. I have recently learnt that you are only goin to live once..n i dont want to look bak in a few weeks..months or years saying gosh i wish i did this..or tried that.. 4 that reason i always tell some one how i fell about them etc
i know its a risk you may not want to take..but it could end up working in your favour, if you tell him how you feel it could go two ways.. he either likes you bak..or he doesnt..
if he likes you back well then you are practically going out...if not it could help you see ok he doesnt like me back time to start looking for someone new..it changes how u think completly.. recently i started to like my bestest friend...n because we r so close i told her exactly how i feel..but about a few weeks ago she told me she didnt feel the same way n she felt more comfortable as friends..and that made me go out lookin for someone new.. \"exploring my options\". n well i think i just might have found someone..

try not to be shy..whenever i feel nervous about something, think of it as being \"now or never\" and just go for it.

most of all..be yourself let him like you for who you are or not at all. people should be able to like you for who you are not for what they want you to be.

best of luck with it all
let me know if you need anything else...or email me:
sanjeev_sangar@hotmail.com (also my msn add)

hope ive helped

sanj
p.s sorry for it being so long

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Between BearShare, Ares, or LimeWire, which one would you guys pick? I just want to know. I`ve had LimeWire for a year, but then all of my songs got deleted, but yet you can still hear them & burn them on to CD's. It's okay if LimeWire wins, but just to know what you guys think about these 3. Thanks a bunch for your opinions.

Ive heard Bearshare is meant to be pretty good for music..althought when downloading ive heard it tends to take over your comp makes it sooo slow

Ares is oretty good too..but looads of my friends have said that sometimes it wont connect to the network meaning they cant download...

Limewire...which i use..i found it pretty useful..songs pretty fast..music videos not too bad speed

So umm yeah i would choose Limewire of the 3..

(also if you didnt know if you search limewire pro under programmes in limewire and find a .zip file, then make sure you scan for a virus but henn install you can get the pro version fro frree which is slightly faster:))

Sanj

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hi sanj, i have read your other answers and your advice seems to be very good. I am a girl and im 15 years old. Recently, i think that i have started falling for one of my good friends. i dont want to, but i just have. its kind of annoying aswell seeing as we have been out once before and that did not work. sometimes to me, it seems as though he is flirting but im not sure. how can i tell if he likes me, or im just reading the wrong signals? please answer me back :)

x ? x

hmm tricky situation really...as like with every other relationship/friendship sort of thing, yeah you can always try and read a persons signals to see how they are feeling. But no matter what there is always the slight chance that you are wrong. You said you two have been out once before but it didn't work out, so i am going to take a wild guess and say you two are pretty close if you got through all that. I can give you little tips n stuff..but in this case i would advise you to tell him..if he hasnt made any obvious signs or moves to tell you he likes you then you should be able to tell him..

Being close friends with someone is all abouit honesty, and two good friends should be able to tell eachother anything, not matter how good or bad it is. Besides, if things turn out badly in other words if he never speaks to you, you will know that your friendship didnt mean much from the start, but if things go on as per usual, you will know you and him have something strong going on..and well you know what they say..love always starts from a friendship...

Sometimes even just going straight in there and go to kiss them will tell you if they feel the same, although it is usually alot better if the boy does that so i wouldnt strongly advise it..

Dont get any false ideas from flirting..saying from experiance..some people just naturally flirt with everyone and not just with the person they fancy. So yeh dont think he is flirting with me so he must like me.

So yeah i think the best way is to take a risk and talk to him abou how you feel n all...if you dont take any risks in life you wont get nowhere..trust me.. i know what your thinkin you dont want to risk it because you dont want to loose him as a mate etc etc...but its the only way to know for sure what he is feeling for you

hope i helped :)...lemme know if you need anything else..

Sanj

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How can you tell if a guy likes you?
Katie~dory16

umm there are loads of little ways...

if when he talks to you see if he holds his eye contact for a long amount of time without looking away

when talking to him does he stand sidewards or stand ful on facing you givin you his full attention..

lol i am so much betta at telling when a girl likes a guy but ummm what else is there...

he will purposly try and take the piss out of you just to try and get attention...

he will go out of his way to ask you opinion on something

alot more touching than necesarry...dependin on the boy

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I needed a guys advice so i came to you. I like this guy but i dont know if he likes me. do you know how to get their attention?
p.s- i think its "hot" that you live in united kingdom. thanks

lol bless :D

well...i will need a lil more info on this guy...jus tell me any general details about him...his interests etc...n ill c wt i can do

by the way...e-mail me...

sanjeev_sangar@hotmail.com

this site has become fussy about the chatting that goes on through these so yeh ill b happy to help you out through emaill

speak to ya soon

Sanj

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