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what am i doing wrong?
i dont know why,but i cant make a conversation,i cant be funny,i dont know why no one wants to be my friend. im really self concious(sp?) how do i become wild,fun and outgoing? and funny? like i cant hold a convo. i have like no friends here for some reason. whats going on?i find myself boring,and blah,i dont like it! thanks for any help!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
The problem here is your perception and attitude towards and of yourself. You are so much better than you believe yourself to be. If you continue seeing yourself as someone who is boring, uninteresting and too self-concious guess what people will see.
That's right they can only see you the way you view yourself as that is the very image that is projected forward to them. If you believe you don't have any friends, cannot hold a conversation or be wild, fun, funny etc you never will be.
These fears and the "I can't" statement is your problem. The minute you tell yourself you cannot do something or won't be able to is when you start to lack all of those things which are truly in you. you can surprise yourself at what you can do.
When it comes to conversations you have to go with the flow, introduce yourself and above all listen to others. If something funny is going to happen it will happen on your own. Stop trying to make things happen as that'll never work.
Just be yourself and talk to kids at school like you would your parents, siblings. It's no different. You really just have to start talking and see where things go on their own. You cannot script it or force it.
As far as being wild, funnym crazy etc just be you. People can tell when you are trying to hard or being phony. If you aren't naturally wild and crazy don't fake it. Be who you are!
Why do you lack friends at school? Well, mostly for the reasons above as people can see there's something wrong with your body language and the way you percieve yourself.
They won't be attracted to that or someone who is afraid to talk or be herself. The other reasons could be cliques, bullying for no apparent reason or jealousy of you.
I think strongly if you got rid of this false view of yourself and stopped claiming it as yours and who you are you'll do phenomenally well.
Chuck out the picture you have of who you are and accept the facts which are rightfully yours that you have the same abilities as your classmates to have friends and how conversations and be interesting. The moment you believe anything less is when you will have issues.
Be who you really are and forget about anything else. conversations will occur naturally and when something funny is supposed to occur it will happen naturally.
Just relax and approach people like you would anyone you know as that's how friendships develop. You should also try having a party and inviting people you know of that you want as friends as that could help you grately or invite kids to hang out at the movies or bowling alley etc with you one day and above all RELAX!
Nobody is judging you here except for your ownself. You've already tried and convicted yourself and sentenced yourself to suffering because you accepted the wrong view of yourself.
It's like a painting that needs to be restored and have all the years of tranish removed.
See the experience like this with you having a new page and chapter to start and go in there with the tips above and you'll have more pals than you need to hang out with at once. It's all in your attitude about yourself and nothing at all to do with their's that holds the key to your problem. They're only responding to this view that you project to others. CHANGE IT! :)
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unlike you, i am usually the person who starts the convo. i just start with something random. during lunch, you can talk about food, and you might find that you have something in common with another person. talking about food can't be hard. just say to a person next to that you like french fries. then they would reply. after, you could talk about how fattening they are. and that they use the wrong oil. if they were to use olive oil, then people wouldn't be soo obeise. if you give facts, and hold on to the convo and talk like you know what you r talking about, then they will see that you r smart and fun to talk to. and don't b afraid to laugh. but if you are trying to b funny, then b funny... not mean.
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Well, firstly, i dont think not being able to hold a decent conversation, not being funny or anything like that really matters. You should be whatever you want to be and not to change yourself just because you may want friends etc.
Secondly, i used to be alot like you, couldnt hold a coversation, wasnt funny, didnt know what to say to people if it is just me and them etc. Well id love to say there was some magical way to fix all this and you can become very outgoing, but you cant. The way i changed (and not because i wanted more friends - it just happened) was through experiance. I went through lots of times were i would be on the phone or with somebody in person and it would just be dead silence. But you will go through some akward times but trust me after you have had some experiance it can only get better. You start being more confident, and thinking of things to say, even if its just "How are you?".
I dont think you should worry if you dont have friends, true friends will come about and like you for who you are and not what other people want you to be like.
Hope ive helped..
Let me know if you need anything else..
Sanj
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i an very random i wild and outgoing and funny and funn. just say what you think. if no one is talkin start a convo just start talkin about what ever. like if your outside i just started playin with a bee and sayin its my homie then the convo just goes on. if you hav random thoughts say it loud and proud 'i like pickels' or what ever. sit down with anyone start talkin to them ya meet alot of new peopl and friends .you could also dress up in costumes like halloween. i always were angel wings. hehe my trademark. i wear black clothes and angel wings. wear what you want. i used to care what everyone thought but now i dont give a fuck what ppl think bout me. now i have a very close group of friends i just made. i used to not have any friends but i just went wild and had fun and alot of ppl from different groups are together in my group there my homies. my friends i would do anything for. you need to go crazy and try all i do but im just crazy but my new friends are too there just like me. depends on your personality i like 'different' things. im sayin all i did to meet people. last month i had no friends but 1 my guy homie. im a 13 yr old gangsta and proud. hope i helped not sure if i wrote to much but i just went trough this i know how you feel ~hope i helped~ !be unique!
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