randomgrl777's advice column

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Q: There's this kid in one of my classes that is incredibly shy. And if you're getting the impression that he just doesn't initiate conversations with girls, or he wouldn't hug girls or be alone with a girl, it's WAY beyond that. He only talks to his group of friends, if you talk to him he'll blush and give a nervous smile and turn away (not rudely), and if he's made to talk in class, he gets nervous and embarassed.

Clearly a guy who I don't even talk to is not going to ask me out or initiate anything. I've tried talking to him a few times, but he's just so shy and awkward. I was just wondering if there's anybody who was in this situation, or if anybody is a shy guy like this, how would I approach him? I mean, obviously I'd have to take things in steps by tryhing to have small talk with him and maybe if I could ever possibly be friends with him that'd be truly amazing. Some stuff about him is that he's really deep, he's incredibly smart, and he's like a rocker-type..oh yeah and he's an anarchist, but I wouldn't approach him with this information because there was really know way for me to know this information in the first place =\

How could I talk to him in a way that he wouldn't just shyly turn away?
Thanks for leading this long thing =]

act a lil shy then go up to him. talk about music. just have a deep conversation about what you like about the certain music. no rocker can resist that. start it by asking what his favorite band is. the worst thing you can do is scare him seriously. be very open and talk about anything at all but dont say to much, his hair his clothes whatever hes doin, andything. or you could even have one of his friends in the conversation to so its not just you 2 at first. umm anything else

Q: hi, i am 14/f....
and one of my friend's is cutting herself badly, and idk what to do, cause i promise her that i wouldnt tell anyone
but i am really worried about her, cause she is doing it really bad, and me and my other friend really want to help like talk to her about it
cause i have done it before it doesnt help and i know that now, and when i was doing it my other friend help me though it so she knows how to help to. and if we tried to talk to her she changes the subject
what should i do?!?!?!

not tryin to sound bad or mean but get her to rubberband instead. the pain is like cutting but you wont loose all the blood and wont have big scars to remember later. i did cut for a while i recently stopped. i rubberband now and my friends tried to get me off cutting. they helped alot but it was me that got myself to stop. theyd grab me make me listen theyd use tough love hold me down whatever. if you tell it will make it worse for her. no phyciatrists work just piss you off even more. just dont let any kids make fun about cutting in general around her thats when all hell breaks loose even if they dont no she does. um anything else ill help.

Q: okay this sounds wierd but.. my stomach makes really wierd noises during the day at school. I eat a bowl of cereal before school.. by 845 my stomach makes loud noises, itll do that for the whole first period, then second and third im okay and then 4th period it does again, my mom says its like gas or somethign? i dont know but is there anyyway to get it to stop doing that its embarrassing.

i have it really bad. i got to the doctor every week. lol i even got xrays on my stomach. but their doin tests for many things. but pergaset works the best for the stomach gases. and eating more makes it worse. itll get to the point were you dont wana eat. so i also went to the hospital for not eating 4 times in my life so far. got to the doctor theyll take xrays to show all the gasses and theris diff amounts of gases for different medicines. and ull get a perscription.

Q: For school i have to survey about 50 different people( doesnt matter if i know them or not) I have to find out if they disagree or agree with a school policy and why( tardies,absences,grafiti,lockers,ect.)

tardies-disagree-need more time to get to classes and in the morning their always an accident on the road derrr. XP
grafiti-disagree-its fine its expressing its not hurting you.
lockers-disagree-we have to use lockers no book bags and WE get detention if someone 'drops' their books even if yo innocent.
no unatural hair dye or mohawk-disagree-our hair not yours back off.
cursing-disagree-if u dont wana hear it dont listen. we get a after school detention everytime what the fuck. XP

Q: If you had to pick an activity, hobby, or interest that is important to you, what would it be and why is it important? I'm doing a survey of people I don't personally know with this question, and I need some people to answer it. You don't need to put your name or age or anything like that. Thanks in advance!

guitar and singing. because i cant go a day with out it and love to write tabs and songs for my band. umm it also makes me happy!!! XP

Q: About how many times do you go shopping a week and actually buy something?

About how many times a week do you stay home and just chill? (as in, not really hang out with anyone, more like just watch tv, talk to your family, or whatever.)

And lastly, how many pairs of socks do you think you need (or have)?

Just random things on my mind...

1-most friday nights...about 3 a week but buy like 1ce a month but lotsa stufff. XP

2-well right now im grounded from everyone and everything even computer but that dont stop me. but when im not grounded prolly 2 days a week i stay home. but am on aim. XP

3-umm a full and a half drawer or colored and 10 white retarded catholic school. Xd

Q: 15/f
I feel like I have no family a lot of the times or as if I was some adopted outcast or something. My family is pretty much close minded about most things and despise those who are different than the normal person. They're homophobic, they hate those people with piercings and tattoos, black is the color of the devil, rock music rots kid's minds, and you get my drift? Well, I feel like I'm the complete opposite. I'm bi, which I think is part of the reason why I dislike my family and feel left out, I love piercings and look forward to getting a bunch when I turn 18 along with a tattoo or two. And I love the color black, especially when it's mixed with red or dark purple. And music is a big part of my life and the type of music is rock, metal, etc. They hate me as I am already - Listening to that type of music and wearing dark colors most of the time. And they're always trying to change me into someone I'm not. I have to watch what I say, who I mention, what I mention, how I act, how I dress, etc around them as if they were complete strangers to me. I can't tell them anything anymore, not even my sister because my sister just goes off and tells my mom everything I say [& mind you, she's turning 20 this November] I can't discuss music or friends because my mom will end up banning them from me. I can't talk about piercings and what not because they'll think I'm a psycho that needs help. I can't tell them about me being bi because they'll kick me out. I can't talk about guys because they'll interrogate me about the guy to the last detail. I just can't talk to them about anything and I can't be myself around them! I know that I can't talk to them or try to open up their minds a little more because I've tried in the past, failing again and again. I've even told my mom that I have depression and have had it since 4th or 5th grade even before I knew what suicide or depression meant. And she didn't believe me and refuses to believe me. I just don't trust them anymore and I can't talk to them or be myself around them at all. I know that I can't do anything about it until I'm 18 or out of the house. I'm just so sick of living and think it's worthless now. I'm already banned from my best friend, Angela, and she's the only person that I actually tell everything to. I can't talk to my family and I've tried in the past. My mom and sister and dad just won't budge from their point of view and thinks everything that's different from the norm to be a sin or a crime that's punishable by death or something. I'm sick of life and everything else. I don't see the point in it anymore. I don't know what to do. I really don't. I just need advice on how to just be the someone they want me to be until I'm out of the house. I don't know. I just need advice on anything and everything.

im the same also :( since their trying so hard to change you like my parents do but alot less now i say f them and do what you want. im grounded from all metal acid and hxc music and my bestfriends and black clothes and black makeup and i can go on and on. my cousin wants me to move in with her but i cant she doesnt understand me much but shes only 19 and moved out on her bday. do what i do. forget what they say, incase you do say something wrong just go upstairs and dont talk to them, marylin manson music all the way up and scream it out(what i did ther my fav band), wear all blacks and purples, kiss a girl since your bi let them see it, i went to clairs with my friends one went outside with a phone to act like my mom and i got my cartlidge peirced XP. JUST DO NOT GIVE UP ON LIFE. i did and i am but my friend is here for me hes always over just because everyone in our family is friends. i would seriously be dead bc i atempted suicide. yea dont do that.. but all im sayin is do what YOU want. your parents will probly be scared at first but they will get you help and lighten up after a while bc they can not change you. i fought back. i got what i needed. but i have many restrictions but im alot happier now. i could only talk to my best friend about stuff which my parents hate. things will got to hell then after you will be the happiest person ever. im not trying to be mean but if this is not what you wanted, go by ur parents every word and be a person who is not you at all just faking life. its better to take a chance then to never have tried. atleast try but dont be so extreme. anything at the moments worth trying. your parents are stubbborn like mine, but you have to be stubborn to. i really hope i helped and do not take this the wrong way. just take a little chance.

Q: 17/f.(really long, but please read) I was supposed to have a doctor's appointment next week because I have been having panic attacks, and my mother thinks I'm depressed(I think it may be bipolar, and I pretty much said that to her but she doesn't care), and for a bunch of other things. Well, my mother canceled the appointment because she has something to do. So, she told me that I pretty much can not get into the doctor's for three weeks! It's bullsh*t! I know I have to see someone before something bad happens. But it feels like my parents do not give a damn. They truly don't. The only reason she made an appointment was because my grades dropped because of everything. All she cares about is my grades, and college. Well, for me to get into college, I need to fix what is happening right now to bring up my grades. She doesn't see that. It feels like she is always blowing this off, like I'm faking or something. I know what a panic attack is, and that's what is happening. The only reason I know-I actually talk to someone once in awhile. I talk to my teacher from last year. I had a bad panic attack in his room before and he talked with me. Helped me understand some things and it felt better talking to someone. I've talked to him a few times. He understands what is going on with the panic attacks and he knows I have mood swings. So he knows almost everything that is going on. But I told myself that I won't talk to him anymore after I went to the doctor's, because....well that's just how I am.....I'm like convincing myself that he is getting irrtated with me and doesn't want to hear anymore. I always tell myself things like that...I don't know why. I feel comfortable talking to him though, I don't know if I would if I talked to like a social worker or something. I don't know what to do now that I don't have an appointment. I feel so awful and like no one cares. I'm falling fast. I'm starting to hurt myself too now. Snapping a hair tie on my wrist til it goes red and numb, and today I scratched my arm til it went red and numb. I'm really afraid that I'm going to do more, more often. I honestly don't know what to do anymore. It feels like I have no one to talk to, no one cares. I'm lost.

same here but ''im to young to get help'' says my mom. its great u have an adult to talk to dont loose your teacher. i cant talk to anyone i get stabbed in the back everytime, even by adults. take an online bipolar quiz theirs so many just type it in. i got positive at bipolar on all. it shows if ur bipolar or in depression or nothing. and most people do drop their grades when they become depressed. your mom should relize. i say drop them completely then shell be forced to get you one. why not ask the teacher to bring you or talk to your mom, something. im not trying to make you feel bad but you will go straight down no matter what unless you get some help. i didnt think i could get any worse. atleast i didnt think so. but i did. i tried to drownd myself, suffocate, bleed to death. i cut a lot i thought i stopped. i gave up on friends but they were all i needed. i lost most of them. i only have a few left. none understand all but my 2 best friends and both guys, depressed. but happy together but im still loosing them. you will start falling fast if you dont get help. i had a knife and i was about to cut deep and 2 of my friends stopped me, by hurting themselves bad as i resisted. altho i can not talk to anyone. no matter what you have to do you have to get somewhere and get some help. i was against getting any kind of help at the beginning. my friends told me i had to i said no and my mom said no when they told her.

Q: My best friend's a senior. She finally got a car so she's been driving around lately. I haven't seen her over the summer or anything. i also transferred to a different school .. so I haven't seen her since the last day of school. We plan to hang out later today.. she's going to drive us to the mall. But in our next message.. she said i could save your mom the trouble and do all the driving... blah blah she could give me gas money and I'll do all the work.

Does anyone else find that a bit wrong? I'm poor myself, my family can barely pay for gas.
She's the one that offered to hang out and stuff, then she's thinking my mom will pay for gas money.

Is she only asking because she's a new driver and she realizes how much gas is .. or what?

when someone first gets their own car they want to drive it a lot. but are worried about how much money it will cost if their paying. i say why dont you pay half and she pay half because she is new. tell her you dont have the money. or let her pay and buy her an ice cream or coffee at the mall. hope i helped

Q: mk so i have a verizon razr or something and i remember there being a way to block numbers from calling/txting you. but i don't remember how..does anyone know?

you can block a number but u have to call verizon wireless or go online and tell them and the number your blocking has to be from a different company like cingular or sprint. hope i helped

Q: ok im 15/f

what can i use to masturbate with and where cuz my parents r home all the time and i dont have anything that vibrates what should i use i try doing this kind of stuff at ngiht after my parents go to bed but yeah what to use?

theirs ur fingers and parts of toys and bigger markers and toothbrushes or a hairbrush end and if you have a vibrating toothbrush and some people use cucumbers but thats even too weird for me, and at clairs they have these long erasers that looks like a dick their $1, its a joke with my 2 friends and i hehe ones a guy we bought 20. hope me helped

Q: Okay, so I want waves that are like the " surfer girl waves. " If you get what I mean? I want those lose cute curls/waves.

The problem is, is that my hair is extemely straight. I've used moose, garnier (sp?), and gel. I've used these three different ways, 1.) putting it in after a shower, and just leaving it. 2.) Putting it in after a shower and then blowdrying it after I have it in. 3.) Also, leaving it in all night in a bun.

These ways don't work for me at all.

If you know of any great, like amazing brands and also ways to make it look better.

Please & thank you!

use sea salt or salt water its at most hair cut places or curly it then straighten it some. ill try and find the brand

Q: my friend ryan committed suicide about two weeks ago and i just can't get over it. just seeing him in that casket made me sick to my stomach and burst into tears. it's so wrong to see a 15 year old in a casket.. it's just wrong. everything reminds me of him cuz he was the coolest person in the world. plz tell me how to overcome this or help me to be at peace with his death. i miss him so much

a six year old laying there smiling so happy but with a gun hole in the forehead that is sad. everyone will die some time. it usually takes someone a few weeks to get over it when someone dies. ive seen many ages in coffins. just think now he is always with you and with everybody now hes not in so much pain. in heaven you just feel peace its so calm your floating. and he was just in alot of pain he couldnt take it hes probly happier now with the pain gone its what he wanted. go along with what he wants. he is now at peace. he just wants you to be okay and at peace now. its ok just talk to him he WILL hear it. and just hope and pray you will meet his spirit someday soon. hope i helped.

Q: I'm finding guitar tabs online, but when it lists a note that is played for a few words consecutively, does that mean to strum? I'm new at this, so can someone please inform me of how any song like so is meant to be played?

The number is the fret.
The line is the string.
X's are a pause,you hold the string down for a beat.
Every number or X is a different strum unless you do hammer ons and offs thats when their close and you hit down or up on the string.
Its alot better if you do songs you know and play it as your listening to the song at the same time.
all guitar tabs are in beginner intermediate and pro.
Try Dead! by My Chemical Romance i got my friend started on rock guitar and he loved that song he says its a good starter song.
i hope that i helped ask me for any other guitar or stuff.

Q: I'm supposed to go to a lake with my boyfriend this Sunday. Well, tomorrow. There is a huge water slide there, and a bunch of really fun stuff. Problem is, I'm on my period. I got it Wednsday, so I know I'm still going to be on it tomorrow. I don't wear tampons, so please don't suggest that. I heard that if you are in water, your period stops. Is that true?

If I wear a redish bathing suit will it show if it doesn't stop?

What should I do?

for me atleast water makes it stop for about half hour then just jump back in. itll be fine. i went on vacation and had my period for the whole time 9 days and mines usually 4. i wore just a swim suit. but im just weird like that ill jump in water in all my clothes just because or a swimsuit. i went to a different country. nobody speaking my languages. since you started a while ago its all fine. and if you do get blood in your suit jump in the water it comes right out. and if your boyfriend asks tell him your on your period. i talk to my guy friends about it. or most people are normal and want to be so safe just wear a little pad. the sad thing is i usually wear tampons but i didnt.

Q: I just got what's called the "smiley" piercing.

Here's a link below to show you what it looks like, it's very unusual. (It's the upper piercing, if you didn't know.)

http://tattoo.about.com/library/graphics/lindasmiley2.jpg

It's my ONLY piercing and my teeth are perfectly, movie-star white and straight. I have a bar in it instead of a ring right now so you can't see it.

What does everyone think, is it tacky or just strange?
Would I look trashy even though it's my only piercing?

I don't dress trashy at all, I have a sort of "preppy/classy" look- I keep myself looking sharp and clean.

So.. Opinions?

i like it alot. i wanted that!lol. but i didnt know if it would kill ur teeth. i say keeps it.

Q: My grandma died about six years ago now.
I loved her so much, and I miss her SO much if I think about it too much I'll be balling soon.

Recently (june 16, 2007) a kid from my school died. My best friend and I werent very good friends with him in highschool, it was mainly middle school that we have memories. But none the less, it hurts so bad, and I'm watching his tribute video they played at his funeral, and its just not fair. I still cant believe it, why him? He has such a future ahead of him in sports, he was amazing. I just dont understand.
And I dont know why I feel so close to him, because if it hurts me this bad, if a friend I was really close to died, I would be a huge wreck.

What am I supposed to do?

people come and go. everyones fate is set everyone dies. people cry when people die its fine. i say just think to yourself that you were friends and hes not gone he is just watching and he will always be with you now. you will start getting over it after a while thats how everyone is you will start getting better but you can always remember him as he is watching from heaven. its all ok. it was just his fate. its ok

Q: I just turned 13 and well my bf is a little older than me. We have already made out. But I was wondering how far you think that we should go... considering my age.

Thanks.

i think you sound mature asking what to do. i say if you love him go for anything. age is a number. keep your pants on till your 14 lol. i say take it slow and have fun. if you date for over 6 months and you know hes a good guy go past the kissing and do more if you really want to. hope i helped

Q: okay im sortof freaking out a bit.
my friend alex gave me a condom as a joke.
obviously im not going to use it, i'm too young.
so i hid it in my purse.
i woke up this morning to my mom looking around my room!
i think she was about to read my diary or something.
but now i'm SO scared she'll find the condom.
i didntg know what to do so i opened the condom and threw it into the road.
but now what do i do with the rapper?
wont they find it in the garbage?
aah! please help!

theres nothing wrong with having a condom. well why would you open it its worse to find a condom rapper then a condom. throw it in the street with the condom or put it in the trash outside or inside. if you put it on bottom its fine. unles they usually dig in the trash. you dont have to freak out.

Q: i like this girl but at times shes nothing to me. she is just soo idk like bam on bams unholy union JUST like him. well our friends used to get along when shed make them when we used to hang out but still i noticed and her friends are tougher then us just say were the hockey players their the....dark clothes depressed crazy people, i hate it. umm well i noticed change since...it started when one of our friends tried to get us together shes a real good friend of ours shes in our 2 groups she plays hockey with all the guys then is like all her friends. i couldnt tell her the reason i didnt think it out yet. should i of just said it all right out there we are total oppasites in every possible way i dont like her(a lie) shes to creepy she scares me sometimes our friends dont get along shes never had a boyfriend SHE SAYS NO USUALLY TO THE GUYS WHO ASK HER i dont wana make a fool of myself!she did that but everyone doesnt make a deal of it but thats her. shes the bad girl type ALWAYS in trouble she does anything to make her parents mad, shes so MIXED i guess like happy mad sad! thats one thing i dont like other is she likes dead kind of things and death shes always writing about her heart being broken wanting to die just stuff. i found her site and it was FILLED with it things like death, suicide, hell, being broken, and a page says entries its filled with saying and stuff she wrote, i felt bad...when i saw it, i think its all beacuse of me. shes quiet around new people, in most of school and my family, shes even known them for quite a while. she just sees something in them that shes afraid of or hates or something i dont know. on her site was so much the music, the pictures, what she wrote, all the quotes! it was so.!BAD i said whats with the site she says why i said whats it all about her friend told me fuck off so i left. one thing says 'the jerk i loved, did love, you to watch me in ALL this pain stare and laugh the guy who added to all this, who is killing me, inside, i loved you and you fucked up my life to the limit not sure what and who and how can help me now maybe you know you deserv more not sure witch way should be to recognize all i go through. this is one of a hundred and i dont get it it seems obvious? i will add more! i thought about this the past 6 hours. wonderin, also if anything would happen to her with the fireworks shes a true pyro shed light anything. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME WHAT IS WRONG WITH HER!? help me in every or any possible way i need this i need to know if i did anything wrong and what i can or should do. and what does her friends know that i dont?! do they know something extra. is there any girl code or talk that i dont understand! help me.....soon as much help as possible

aww how cute love is hell. she sounds just like me its creepy. ill be honest with you. you are a jerk you are a reason some people dont want to put up with it. dont spy on her. leave her alone give her space. so you hate her friends you hate how she dresses and acts ask your self why you love her then. you are just a jerk to her back off she was your friend then she had the nerve to say she liked you and you dont say anything back. shes braver then you she was in love so she took a chance that would be a real girl a good girlfriend. you just spy on her watch her with her friends. you read her page she writes so much heart filled things in there and their probly about you that means she doesnt hate you yet but if you keep acting like this maybe. im surprised she still trusts her guy friends that happened to me WITH A GUY LIKE YOU and i didnt even wana see a guy or talk for a while. she wants love she has guy friends who love her as good friends and maybe a little more. shes happier around her friends so is most people especially if she is depresed and gothic rebely like you said and she probly HATES YOU STEREOTYPING HER AND HER FRIENDS she will not change for you or anyone. shes going through a lot right now and she needs you. she needs you to love her but dont even bother if you will never show it. you ARE PROBLY killing her inside thats what it all means. she lost her best friend and her love of a lifetime. you tried to change her.
leave it at that for now ill add more later.

bio

-i dont change for people -my only fear is being hated again -i am extremely hyper at times and adicted to coffee -i curse way to much -i have a bad temper -in love with taking pictures -has had a very emotional life -im NOT emo or gothic but thats what everyone wont stfu with -i think of guys as better friends -id be gone without my friends -my old friends have put me threw way to much -i used to be one of the popular people but now i cant stand them but still talk -i love guitars -my favorite music is taken away forever -ill answer any question honestly just dont hate me for bein brutally honest