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so much wrong.....no one cares.
17/f.(really long, but please read) I was supposed to have a doctor's appointment next week because I have been having panic attacks, and my mother thinks I'm depressed(I think it may be bipolar, and I pretty much said that to her but she doesn't care), and for a bunch of other things. Well, my mother canceled the appointment because she has something to do. So, she told me that I pretty much can not get into the doctor's for three weeks! It's bullsh*t! I know I have to see someone before something bad happens. But it feels like my parents do not give a damn. They truly don't. The only reason she made an appointment was because my grades dropped because of everything. All she cares about is my grades, and college. Well, for me to get into college, I need to fix what is happening right now to bring up my grades. She doesn't see that. It feels like she is always blowing this off, like I'm faking or something. I know what a panic attack is, and that's what is happening. The only reason I know-I actually talk to someone once in awhile. I talk to my teacher from last year. I had a bad panic attack in his room before and he talked with me. Helped me understand some things and it felt better talking to someone. I've talked to him a few times. He understands what is going on with the panic attacks and he knows I have mood swings. So he knows almost everything that is going on. But I told myself that I won't talk to him anymore after I went to the doctor's, because....well that's just how I am.....I'm like convincing myself that he is getting irrtated with me and doesn't want to hear anymore. I always tell myself things like that...I don't know why. I feel comfortable talking to him though, I don't know if I would if I talked to like a social worker or something. I don't know what to do now that I don't have an appointment. I feel so awful and like no one cares. I'm falling fast. I'm starting to hurt myself too now. Snapping a hair tie on my wrist til it goes red and numb, and today I scratched my arm til it went red and numb. I'm really afraid that I'm going to do more, more often. I honestly don't know what to do anymore. It feels like I have no one to talk to, no one cares. I'm lost.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
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Listen sweetie I know how you feel I get panic attacks to. You need to relax. Stop thinking negative thoughts, dont drink anything with caffeine and stay away from to much salt because all these things can make your attacks stronger. Try and avoid all the negativity in your life if possible and focus on the positive. I know you feel like no one gets what your going through or that no one cares but you can stop thinking that because I care and you can always talk to me. If you have any questions write to me. Take care of yourself and stop trying to hurt yourself you should know that someone does care about you and that someone is me.
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same here but ''im to young to get help'' says my mom. its great u have an adult to talk to dont loose your teacher. i cant talk to anyone i get stabbed in the back everytime, even by adults. take an online bipolar quiz theirs so many just type it in. i got positive at bipolar on all. it shows if ur bipolar or in depression or nothing. and most people do drop their grades when they become depressed. your mom should relize. i say drop them completely then shell be forced to get you one. why not ask the teacher to bring you or talk to your mom, something. im not trying to make you feel bad but you will go straight down no matter what unless you get some help. i didnt think i could get any worse. atleast i didnt think so. but i did. i tried to drownd myself, suffocate, bleed to death. i cut a lot i thought i stopped. i gave up on friends but they were all i needed. i lost most of them. i only have a few left. none understand all but my 2 best friends and both guys, depressed. but happy together but im still loosing them. you will start falling fast if you dont get help. i had a knife and i was about to cut deep and 2 of my friends stopped me, by hurting themselves bad as i resisted. altho i can not talk to anyone. no matter what you have to do you have to get somewhere and get some help. i was against getting any kind of help at the beginning. my friends told me i had to i said no and my mom said no when they told her.
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Oh gosh, I know exactly how you feel. I had to convince my parents to take me years after I asked them initially. Its a long story, but basicly now I'm being treated. I have depression/anxiety/sleeping problems/ and anxiety attacks.
I know how it feels to feel like you're talking to a brick wall. Like they 'hear' you, but they're not 'listening'.
Your teacher seems like a comfort zone for you and you shoul keep it-just if you like... Keep it limited. I think if your mom won't make an appointment your school would help get you one. When something like that interferes with school and how you are affected in school relations they step in. Does your school have a counselor (not a grades and classes councelor, but a talking one-on-one kind)? If so make an appt with them, or your school could help you find a cheap or free one in your area. Mine gave me a list a while back.
Also, tell your mom what's been happening in your head. I can feel it somehow... The darkness and confusion your transmitting out. I hope you find your peace.
If you ever want to talk, my email is on my page.
Best Wishes
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