NinjaNeer's advice column

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Q: so there's a song im looking for, but i dont know the title. it goes like this:
Hey! Teacher! Leave those kids alone!
title? thanks.

It's Another Brick in the Wall (Part 2) by Pink Floyd, from the soundtrack for "The Wall".

We don't need no education
We dont need no thought control
No dark sarcasm in the classroom
Teachers leave them kids alone
Hey! Teachers! Leave them kids alone!
All in all it's just another brick in the wall.
All in all you're just another brick in the wall.

We don't need no education
We dont need no thought control
No dark sarcasm in the classroom
Teachers leave them kids alone
Hey! Teachers! Leave them kids alone!
All in all it's just another brick in the wall.
All in all you're just another brick in the wall.

"Wrong, Do it again!"
"If you don't eat yer meat, you can't have any pudding. How can you
have any pudding if you don't eat yer meat?"
"You! Yes, you behind the bikesheds, stand still laddy!"

Q: okay so to start of im 17 years old female. anyway im 17 and i have been for the last 5months my mom will not let me do anything and im so sick of it i had to come in at 10:30 pm like im a baby or something its friday night and all of my friends are out drinking but no i have to be home by 10:30 i cant go out to partys and drink because i drive i cant even stay out past 11 on the weekends im going insane..!! some one please help

Your mom is absolutely right. You're still a kid (I know, I know, you hate to hear it, but it's true). You shouldn't be out drinking. There's plenty of time to do that when you're older. Also, if your mom doesn't think you're going to be out drinking, she might be more lenient.

As for the curfew, negotiate. See if you can get it up to 11 on a trial basis. Stick to it rigorously, and when your mom sees that you're responsible, she might be open to a later curfew.

Q: wednesday i leaving to go camping for about four days. showers will most likely NOT be a daily thing, which is gross. although i hate it, i really need to wear make up, at least for most of the time. since there is no running water (but i CAN get bottles of water to use if need be), and the shower situation, does anyone know of some good facial wipes that will remove my make up and cleanse my skin that i can use at the end of each day or whenever? also, any tips for camping in this situation will be helpful, too.

I live in the middle of the woods every summer for 3 or 4 months, and I skip makeup while I'm doing it. I don't think a couple of days will kill you. It's probably a lot better for your skin if you don't have access to proper makeup removal stuff. Also, it'll show those guys you're trying to impress just how low-maintenance and easy-going you are. Double bonus!

For showering, if you can get biodegradable shampoo (I think Herbal Essences is), you can wash your hair using any water you can get your hands on. I know that I can't stand being dirty when I'm camping.

Baby wipes are amazing for cleaning yourself off at the end of the day. If you want a more thorough clean, try using a facecloth and the shampoo to give yourself sort of a sponge bath.

Q: Okay my friend is 16 years old and her boyfriend is like 21, I think. Anyways her boyfriend is really mean to her and he's so controlling. He even tells her what time she can go to parties and what time she has to be back. He beats her and alot of othere stuff. I dont know how I can help her because she's trapped in this relationship. How can I help her?

A couple of months ago, I went through helping a friend out of an abusive relationship.

Most importantly, keep being there. Even if she says she's not allowed to see you, make it happen. I lost contact with my friend for a few months, and thought she was just busy. Turns out her boyfriend wasn't letting her use the phone or internet.

Listen to her. Without trying to be too pushy, try to get her to see that this relationship is poison, and that she can do better. Often people will stay in the relationship because they think that it's all they'll ever get.

Q: 15/f

I have a few questions about applying to jobs:

If I went to like a drug store or something, would I ask for an application or would I ask if they're hiring first?

Oh and If I want to a restaurant, who would I ask for an application? (non-fast food)

The most important thing to remember is to bring resumes with you. A lot of places don't have applications, so you'll want to have them handy.

Don't worry about asking if a place is hiring. Even if they're not, it's worth handing in an application, since they usually keep them on file in case they need to hire.

At a restaurant, I'd ask the hostess who to ask about applying.

Q: So I'm on a low-carb diet that allows a maximum of 20 carbs a day. This diet really seems to help me lose weight, but in the beginning I always have cravings for foods I can't have (obviously). I've been having things such as chicken, cheese, eggs, avacados, burgers things like that. So does anybody have any suggestions for different snack foods or even meals/recipes? Any feedback is appreciated =]

Just got over phase 1 of the South Beach diet... and that is extremely limited!

I know that one area that's hard to deal with is dessert. I craved sweet things like crazy until I figured this out!

You can do great things with Splenda. You can get a big bag of it, and use it everywhere you use sugar. Sick of Crystal Light? Make Kool-Aid with Splenda instead. Speaking of the above, try making homemade popsicles from Crystal Light or Kool-Aid. It's really tasty.

A recipe my boyfriend gave me...

1 container ricotta cheese (low-fat)
Splenda
Lemon Juice
Cinnamon.

Take the ricotta cheese, and put it in a bowl. Add a couple tablespoons of lemon juice and mix it well. Mash in Splenda until it's sweet enough for you. Fluff it up with a fork, and sprinkle it with cinnamon.

Sugar-Free Jello is also great.

I also like celery with all-peanut peanut butter, and sunflower seeds have become my new chips. I snack on them in front of the TV instead.

Q: 1. how much money is it and what platforms do you use to play it.. and how much money are those platforms.
2. what are the names of the songs they play that you really like? i played it 5 times today at my friend's house and i love them but forget the names of the songs i liked! alot of that rock stuff i usually dont like but i liked stuff like "you really got me" by van halen and "woman" by wolfmother.
3. theres some rock song about like vertigo.. i ALWAYS try to find the name of it but i dunno.. does anyone know it?? it was in some commercial once.. for some new phone or something..

THANKS!♥

1. I bought it brand new for about 100 dollars CDN, for PS2. You can get one of those for 50 dollars now. Not sure what it costs for the XBox360, or what the 360 costs.

2. I like "Monkey Wrench" by the Foo Fighters, "Crazy On You" by Heart, "More than a Feeling" by Boston, "Heart-Shaped Box" by Nirvana, "Trogdor" and "Tonight I'm Gonna Rock You Tonight" by Spinal Tap.

3. Not quite sure. I might have a different copy though, depending on what system you used.

Q: my friend wants to know if she is overweight
she is about 5'8 5'9 and 173 pounds
is she overweight?

You can't go by BMI to figure out what a healthy weight is.

If your friend does heavy physical activity, then she's probably pretty healthy, seeing as muscle is a lot heavier.

I weighed 185 pounds at 5'7, but I also trained hardcore in karate.

Q: ok there are these shoes called crocs I think. they are those plastic type shoes that are like 8 dollars at walmart. people have told me they are comfy but i dont see it ... they are hard plastic basically. Are they really comfy? will they help me if im on my feet say, 9 or so hours a day?

I have 2 pairs of Crocs. I work as a housekeeper at a resort, so I'm going up and down stairs and on my feet 8-10 hours a day. All the other housekeepers wear them too!

They're really light, which is nice. They also let your feet breathe.

Real Crocs are fairly soft. I'd invest in a pair of the real ones if I were you.

Q: My boyfriend (19) is amazing. He has a good job and also goes to school. He basically takes care of his mom, since his salary is good. All of a sudden, he became broke. He owed people money and car bills added up but he still never let me pay on dates. He finally let me pay and now, I found myself paying alot. He used to be the perfect gentlemen and had money at all times. What should I do? He's already really insecure about his money problems.

How about going on cheap/free dates?

My boyfriend and I are both students living on a minimal budget, so we reserve going to movies or restaurants for special occasions. Most of our dates cost 10$ or less.

Some suggestions:

Pack a baguette and some cheese, and go for a picnic in a park. It's really romantic and sweet... even if you just do it in the backyard!

Rent a horror movie and snuggle up under a blanket with some popcorn.

Go for a walk or a hike.

Grab some massage oil and give each other nice long massages.

Make up a plate of finger foods... crackers, cheese, chocolate, fruit. Feed them to each other by candlelight.

There are lots of things you can do that don't cost you anything. That'll take the financial pressure off of both of you.

Q: well me and muh boiifrined jusr broke up and i rally liked him. lets just say i was really hooked. and i think he left me for another gurl but i aint sure. and this is like the third time i get muh heartbroken this bad. and im so thinkin bout becomin a lesbian. wut should i do??

Becoming a lesbian won't keep you from having your heart broken... it can happen just the same! Lesbian relationships are just the same as heterosexual ones.

Also, you can't really decide to become a lesbian. It's just kind of something that you are or you aren't.

However, go ahead, try it out, and if you don't like it, you can always give men another try.

Q: 14/f

ok so im a little overweight. and i hav lined on my boobs but i feel most comfortable (well not about my body) in a bikini because it givs me most breast support. tankinis totally fell off at all the pool parties last year. i kept pulling them up.

if i wear a bikini, its like boy repellent because of my fat but i'd have more fun at the parties wearing one because i wouldn't spend the whole time hiking it up. which should i do? (i have three parties to go to this summer so far)

I've got the same problem :)

What you need is a bathing suit that has a seam below your girls, and that has nice thick straps to hold them up.

If you're self-conscious about a bikini, how about a really cute one piece? I got a great pink one at Winners. They're making them now with really cool necklines, patterns, and cutouts, so they're not the old lady/sporty ones.

Q: 22/f

Not sure where to put this so I am putting it in both

Hey guys, would you ever be able to have a live in relationship with your girlfriend but respect her wishes in not having sex till she‘s ready( which probably wont be till marriage)? And keeping faithful??? Or would you not live with her? I was curious if you guys would be able to handle it because I might be moving in with my boyfriend but I want to get a good estimate on how many of the average guys would go for this. Would it drive you nuts sleeping next to your girlfriend and not having sex? Or could you tolerate it? I would really like to know. Thank you. Girls feel free to respond too

I know of a situation where the opposite is happening... the guy wants to wait until marriage, and the girl doesn't. They're living together with my boyfriend and I, and they're doing just fine. Because she loves and respects him, she's willing to wait as long as it takes for him.

It's definitely a good idea to live together before marriage, because you've got to know what you're getting into!

Q: Okay so our housekepper had a stroke and had to move in with her sister a few weeks ago. How long should I expect for her to be gone. How long are most stroke victims "down"? I dont mean to be insensitive but we really need her back.
Thanks

Cody*

It all depends on the severity of the stroke. Damage can be permanent.

As for you not meaning to be insensitive... come on! This woman could have died, and all you can think of is how you need her to clean for you.

Try picking up a cleaning rag and helping out in the interim. Maybe send her a card to show you care.

Q:
omg i went to log onto my account today when the computer starts and i clicked my username and it went right to my username! i have a password and i didnt have to type in the password.. somebody obviously changed my account and made it so i dont need a password. and whoever it was had easy access to my aim, myspace, yahoo, photobucket, and all of my accounts. it was definitely my parents snooping around. but i wanna catch them red handed so they cant deny it. whats proof that they did it besides the fact that my password was deleted? also, whoever it was deleted my history so i cant check if they went on any websites.. computer wizzes please help!

Do you have anything to hide? If not, then you shouldn't be worried.

If you do, then your parents have a legitimate reason for doing what they did.

Also, they have every right to do so... my guess is that they bought the computer and they pay for the internet.

Being open is the best way to gain their trust so that they leave you alone!

Q: okay im confused bout something. im a chrisitian and i really want 2 do everything right but there are 2 things i cant give up ( sex with my boyfriend and wearing showy clothes and cursing ) and everything else am perfect wit.
the sex wit my friend one _ im kinda engaged 2 him and we'r gonna get married does that still make it wrong
2. is it wrong 2 wear showy clothes, can u stil be a good christian
3. i cant help cursin i do it witout thinkin

pleaes this is only for real believers. tell me wat is right in GODs eyes thank u

I'm not a religious person, but I think you might need a different perspective here.

Is it wrong to have sex with your boyfriend? No. Nowhere in the Bible does it say that you cannot have sex. Actually, it encourages it. The no sex before marriage thing is a cultural value that has become combined with religion. If you're having sex for the right reasons, as I suspect you are, then I don't see why God would have a problem with it. It's a beautiful thing, and it was meant to be enjoyed.

Is it wrong to wear showy clothes? Not necessarily. As the person below said, as long as your intent is right, you're good.

Cursing? Not as bad as you think, and definitely not a religious issue. Did you know that the discussion of any body part below the neck was once taboo? And that the word "piss" was once perfectly acceptable? It's a cultural thing, again.

As for your request for people to tell you what's right in God's eyes, nobody can do that. If I understand correctly, to do so is really quite disrespectful.

The way I see it, a good Christian thinks of others before themselves. They are kind and thoughtful. As long as you follow your beliefs and are nice to people, you're a good Christian in my eyes.

Q: I'm heavier than most girls[size 16, 5'5] but everyone INSISTS that I'm not fat[whatevs]. Anyway, this Friday, there's a costume picnic for my drama club. The theme is Peter Pan. I have NO CLUE what to be. I don't want to look like an idiot, but I don't have any idea of what to dress as.
Besides being heavyish I have medium brown hair, green/gray/blue eyes, fair skin, and good curves.
I want a semi-easy-to-make costume, because it IS finals week, and I need to focus, but I'm a good seamstress, and I CAN do a LITTLE sewing this week. The actual making needs to be less than 1 hour though. I have a huge amount of fabric, but not a whole lot of any one print and type.
HELP!

How about a lost boy?

A ragged costume, but make it a little sexier and girlier.

Q: (m/14) Hi im planing to have sex this weekend and im not shure about what size condom i should get im 4 and a half inches long and 1 and a bit in width.

GUYS ONLY ANSWER THIS QUESTION.

I'm not a guy, but here's my answer.

There are really two sizes of condom. Regular, or extra large.

Based on the stats you gave, I'd say normal condoms would do you just fine.

Just so that you know, Trojans tend to fit a little smaller.

If the condom is too large, it may slip off, and at your age the last thing you need is an unwanted pregnancy.

Q:
people on this site think they are so mature and know everything but they don't know shit. (some do, most dont.) first of all, alot of people on this site believe that if they live a simple life and dont care about electronics and huge houses that they are better than people who care about their appearence and want nice things. just because i have some designer stuff doesnt mean im not a good person right?!! i shop at all of the expensive stores but its because i LIKE the clothes. if you like walmart thats good for you but i dont. and i dont give a f*** what the "popular" kids think. i do what i want and just because i want nice stuff and care about my looks doesnt mean im immature. alot of people on this site are prejudice. and prejudice means PRE JUDGING. you guys are pre judging teenagers just because they give a care about how they look or what they buy. and usually its the adults who critisize teenagers. but if you havent noticed alot of teenagers are smart and they dont always follow the crowd... these uninformed people give us teenagers sterotypes when they havent even met all of us. i say i shop at abercrombie and fitch and suddenly i have all these people calling me a follower. i know how i am and i dont follow. i lead. wow, so i like the same stores as other people. BIG DEAL. i dont smoke and drink and im not a slut. i just CARE about my appearence. deal with it! stop judging the teens on this site wrong and calling them whiny bitches because its not us, it's YOU.

opinions please. =)

I'm 19, just so that you have an idea of the perspective I have. I'm just at the age where I have the benefit of hindsight regarding the behaviour of teenagers, without being too old to remember being one.

Nobody here thinks that all teenagers are stupid. I haven't seen any indication. If we give answers that you don't like, you don't have to listen to our advice... but keep in mind that you did ask for it.

I personally don't care what you wear. But when it becomes the all-consuming purpose of your life, as it seems to be for most teenagers on this site, it's an issue.

I was a smart teenager. I didn't follow the crowd. I was on the honour roll every year, and I held 2 part time jobs while doing volunteer work and training for my black belt in karate. Irresponsible? No. Most of my friends were the same way. However, most of the other people in my school were irresponsible.

As for your attack on adults and their mistakes, did it ever occur to you that it may be why they're wiser? Think about it. Who knows more about what you're going through; someone who's going through it still, or someone who already has? I don't see how we 'try to blame it on teenagers'.

I have no problem with letting self-centred, immature people (including adults) know what I think of them. If you don't like it, then you don't have to follow my advice. I just give it because I hope that someone will appreciate the perspective of someone older who has gone through more life challenges.

Q: can you bring a Ipod, Game system like PSP or Nintendo DS, or a DVD player on the plane? i know they have rules of what to bring on the plane but can you bring these? i dont want to be borded the whole flight.

Also, whatever you bring must have headphones, because they won't let you use something that's disrupting other passengers.

bio

My Personal Forum

My name is Amanda and I'm 26 years old. I'm currently studying electrical engineering. Armed with a fairly odd sense of humour and a sunny outlook on life, I'll take on just about anything. I'm also cussedly stubborn, which has its ups and downs. Things get tough sometimes, and I've never been one to run from it.

In my last 8 years with Advicenators, I've gone from honours student to failing out of university (and getting back on top again!), from single to married, from tenant to homeowner.

Until lately, I have been struggling with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder and OCD, which had basically ruined my life and taken just about everything from me. I'm thankful every day for every experience I've had because of this ordeal, because it's helped to make me who I am today. Things like that really make you appreciate what you do have. Now that I'm back in work and school and starting to become myself again, I couldn't be happier. I credit Advicenators with saving my life back when I was a teenager, which is a big part of why I'm still here.

I won't necessarily give you the answers you want to hear, but I'll always be honest and do my best to help.