Age:
28Member Since:
December 1, 2010Answers:
3046Last Update:
December 22, 2014Visitors:
59386Favorite Columnists
Dragonflymagic
solidadvice4teens
rainhorse68
AdviceMistress
adviceman49
Jasmine23
Razhie
NinjaNeer
LaMarionnette
flare
nascarfan1987
more...
about
I am straight to the point, My advice is given based on my opinions of what YOU write. I may not always tell you what you want to hear but I am not here to sugar coat shit.
I am honest, I am blunt, At times an asshole but one thing I can promise, I'll never lie.
advice
Well, I've been dating my boyfriend for 10 months and over this past weekend, he and i got into a fight over something stupid, and he started hitting himself,(he does that from time to time because he gets frustrated) and i tried stopping him because i hate seeing him hurt, but in the commotion he accidentally hit me, and now i have a bruise on my arm. He was so shaken up that night, he threatened to kill himself because he hates abusive guys. and he wouldn't talk to me for an hour no matter how hard i pleaded. it's been a few days and he's still saying i deserve better, even though it was just an accident and i know he won't do it again, he still states that he did it, therefore not fit to be my boyfriend. he and i both know it was an accident, so how do i get him to forgive himself? he's really broken up about it, in the car today he was crying so badly i didn't know what to do... what should i do to make sure he goes over the limit? should i get him a stress ball or something?
Your boyfriend needs help, Therapy.
Despite how stressed, depressed he may be his behavior is not normal. Have you ever heard the saying "In order to love another you must learn to love yourself?" Your boyfriend cannot properly love you if he does not love himself. If he is depressed, His depression will over time wear you down as long as he doesn't seek help for his problem.
1, NEVER blame yourself for his actions, Despite someone not having a clear mind there is absolutely not excuse for getting out of hand. Everyone is control of their actions, He was out of line.
2, The best HE can help HIMSELF is if he gets himself into therapy. From the sound of it your boyfriend suffers emotional problems and in order to help himself he needs to want to help himself. You are his partner, Not a therapist. You can lend your support but your support can only go so far.
You both need to learn to communicate properly, Relationships will never get anywhere without it. Your boyfriend handled himself childishly, Discussing something should be sort out in a mature manner not a 5 year old throwing a tantrum.
i have 2 boyfriends though i love 1 from past 4 yrs now n the other i now him from 4 months but both are really serious for me n i'm serious just for 1 how do i tell this out people think girls who double date are slut means it's not good people calling me a slut the reason for me saying yes to d second 1 was because i had a fight with the 1st 1 n now i love both of them but i love 1st 1 more i care fr the second guys feelings i told him once that i never wanna talk to him but he cried n begged me not to do so n here i'm stuck don't want 1 to cry n i want to b happy with d other i love both what can i do please help
You are cheating and misleading
Why do you have a two boyfriends? How do you think they would feel if they ever found out they were being cheated on? How would you feel if someone cheated on you? Seriously, You need to come to a decision and keep ONE boyfriend. You are cheating on both of them, That is not cool. You are leading them on and playing with their feelings, Decide on what you want and do the right thing. I don't believe in calling anyone a slut but what you are doing is just wrong, very wrong.
ok so i know thos girl in school and she is dating a guy i realy like i have known him for close to 12 years and i have liked him sence 5 grade i really want to tell him but i knkw he looks happy with her and i do t want to ot only get hurt but hurt our relationship as friends what do i do? please help me?!?
oh im a 17 year old girl btw
You don't do anything
You've like him all these years, What stopped you from approaching the situation? The only reason you are tempted to do so now is because you see him with someone else. Telling the guy you like him will only make matters worse for you and him, He is currently with someone else and you need to respect that. If you like him enough, Why would you want to go and ruin his happiness?....Do you want to be that girl that came between his relationship? Likewise, If you try to break him up with his girlfriend it will do nothing but get him to resent you in the long run. It is not cool to come between someone else relationship. If the guy is happy then respect that and remain his friend. Friends don't go and try and ruin things, Be happy for him.
i dont feel appericated in my relationship....
Please provide more details in your question and I will be more then happy to help you.
What Singes Tells Me I Am Going To Get My Period Soon?
Every women is different!
The symptoms can vary anywhere from:
Cramping, Discharge (Usually brown, White or Clear) Sometimes a women will experience spotting (light blood) headaches, nausea, back pain and tender breast.
These are all normal symptoms, Everyone is different!
Here is a link with more information on what to expect; http://www.kidzworld.com/article/816-getting-your-first-period
I'm 19 f; I'm 5 foot and I weigh 220 pounds.
This is the biggest I've ever been. I've always been chubby, but my stomach isn't that bad. It's mostly my face, and my thighs. I'd like to make my stomach more firm so it isn't flabby but anyways.
I'm joining a gym and I'd like to know what excerises are the best? They have a pool and yoga and stuff; so any tips?
Also, anyone know of any successful diets that actually show results? And have a list of foods that I can eat, and times that I should eat?
I'm also taking a pill called Phentomine; my doctor prescribed it to me; when I was last one it, it curved my appietite and helped me lose 40 lbs; once I stopped, I gained it back plus 20 more lbs.
So..?
Any tips, or stories?
If you are looking to work on your thighs, You may want to focus on leg press. It is recommended that you do cardio exercise before you attempt to work your muscles. At 5 feet, You should weigh between 120-130 lbs.
If you are looking to join a gym I would focus on the treadmill first, Have a weight loss goal of maybe 50 lbs and then gradually work your way up towards more challenging equipment. Working on other machines right now will only turn the fat into muscle you won't necessarily loose the weight itself.
As far as weight in your face, It will come off as you gradually begin to loose weight. There is really no special exercise that will work it off.
If you are serious, It will be successful. Like I tell everyone else......It all depends on how bad you want it.
Avoid carbs, Pasta, Rice, (Rice is surprisingly high on sugar) Stay away from soda even diet soda as the acid in soda can cause your stomach to expand. Any meat try to stick with lean meat, Pasta is okay but make sure it's wheat. Wheat bread etc. Avoid high calorie and sugar intake. Stick to vegetables, Fruits and lean meats!
Now as far as exercise: When you loose weight from the tread mill, You can jump to the butterfly machine.
Picture: http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/2002/butterfly2.jpg
This will tighten your chest muscles, As well as your upper arm area.
Pilates are great exercise as well, If you are at home and unable to make it to the gym for whatever reason I would recommend giving it a shot. If the gym has a pool you could look into taking some water aerobic classes.
Make sure you drink plenty of water! Water is known to help reduce stress and maintain a healthy and more filling feeling. If you eat on big plates, Switch to small dishes. Eat with your other hand and you will see you are more likely to eat less. ;) It can happen but you need to make it happen!
Best of luck
14/f
Hi, I've been dating a guy for approximately a month and a half, going on two months. He is really nice and sweet, but I feel like I might want to break up with him- but at the same time I don't. Here's the thing- he is incredibly socially awkward, to the point that it sometimes becomes excruciatingly embarrassing and uncomfortable when in group situations. He also dressed very poorly, and wears the dorkiest jeans ever (it's honestly like he doesn't even see the other guys in the school) and, I recently found out, was regarded as a dork at his old school. I am a freshman in high school, and he came from a different feeder school than myself, so I didn't know him until this year. It's just embarrassing me now, because so many people say to me "you're dating ______?!?!" in a horrified kind of tone. I'm thought of as pretty, and everyone who I tell that I'm dating him tells me that I can do better. I don't care about popularity, and I would completely disregard his reputation if I didn't see where it was coming from. However, I do see where it's coming from, because his personality is soooo awkward- he just doesn't know how to be normal around people. So I wouldn't want to date him. But I'm conflicted because, when just around me, he can be kind of funny, he laughs at what I say, and he's super nice. He's very passive and thinks I'm completely happy with him. It would come as a major shock if I dumped him. Hes not that unattractive either, and i find him cute- but almost in a little boy way- not like a...teenagery way. There is also the issue of this guy-friend of mine who I'm like 97% sure likes me. I'm starting to like him too. What should I do?! My current boyfriend is sooo nice, I mean it would kill me to hurt his feelings. But I just don't know. Also, we're going to this school dance together in about two weeks, and I don't want to end it before then and have no one to go with (everyone has already been asked.) But I also would feel bad going to the dance and giving him a fun time and then ending it soon after. We haven't kissed yet, but I think we would at the dance. I can hurt his feelings. He hasn't done anything wrong. I'm so back an forth on this issue. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!!
I think you are being way to hard on the guy, Reputation and popularity should never even be an issue. Dating someone is about getting to know who they are, Enjoying time with them and just being happy with that person. NEVER let someone else's opinion get in the way of you being happy. The key to a relationship is being happy, communicative and honest with each other. If he is kind, funny and treats you right then what is the problem? It only becomes a huge deal if you let others get to you. This guy has feelings and you in his eyes are someone that actually excepts him for who he is. If he isn't really great at dressing them maybe you could offer to take him to the mall and just pick out clothes you think would look really good on him without being rude about it. Don't dump the poor guy because other people don't think he's all that, It's not about what you look like. If you dump him because of what others think then you only scoop down to their level and you could miss out on a great opportunity to have a real relationship. That's the problem nowadays especially with the younger generation, They all about what the person looks like, popularity etc. but I promise you later in life that is the least of your worries. If the guy makes you happy, Then be happy with him. If someone else buds their nose into it then you simply tell them "Yes I am dating him! he is the most amazing person I've ever met" and you walk away. Stand up for your relationship, Don't put him down. In the end......people envy a great relationship ;) Be happy!
Hi I'm a 19 year old male. I just got hurt/used by this girl and have been hurt in the past numerous times so my opinion here might be kinda biased so looking for some other opinions. I feel like everytime I log onto Facebook or hear girls talk there something about guys being jerks and hurting them and there being no good guys left out there. Well I recently thought of it this way I'm sick of being hurt by girls and I'm sure other guys are too so maybe that's why there's no good guys out there? Because girls use and hurt and take advantage of the good guys that want to take care of you like me and then complain that we are jerks and asses and that's all you have to go to. Maybe if a girl didn't say she liked you and wanted to date and sleep with another guy a week later and hurt you when hour a nice guy and want to respect them but in turn you get screwed over every guy wouldn't be a jerk or a ass? I'm just curious to what others think or agree with me on this.
A lot of how women treat you is usually based on how you go about the entire thing, If you move too fast you are more likely to date someone that isn't the right one for you. This is generally why I like to remain friends for a good amount time before I jump into a relationship with someone. I'd assume this is how it is with pretty much anyone. They say it takes about 6 months to actually get to know someone well enough, That would be best of 6 months friendship.
You see, People have different perspectives but in my personal experience relationships are rather more successful if you get to know them first. Dating through mutual friends is probably the best way to go nowadays. This isn't really gender related, It's a matter of who you look for. Sometimes certain people have bad qualities, Other times it's a matter of what standards you have.
Looks can be deceiving don't get me wrong but sometimes if someone looks conceited they probably are. Usually you can tell a lot about a person through body language and if someone gives you a stare down, walks with their head held high in a bitchy manner then you probably know you order pass. There are good people out there but you have to find them. Sometimes in order to find a suitable partner you have to date around to find the one that you relate to the most.
My husband and I attended His brother's daughter's wedding. We are the very immediate family.All of my husband's brothers and sisters(also immediate family) and their spouses were seated at the front of the room at table 1 and 2 ,however we were assigned seats in the very back of the room.We were surprised and saddened by their choice to put us there. The whole family is very kind ,loving and religious.There are no problems between any of us, we really love all of them. We feel so hurt. Should we address this? If so ,Is there a polite way to do it?I am lost and so hurt. Thank You
It's hurtful to be seated in the back of a wedding but as much as you may think it's an insult do you know how many people are attending? I'm sure it wasn't done intentionally but I wouldn't come out an approach the situation either. Weddings can be stressful, They may of not realized it or maybe they had nowhere else to seat you and didn't think it would be much of a problem to seat you in the back? I would just be thanks full you got an invitation and leave it at that. When the wedding comes don't be strangers, It will only be more awkward and bothersome if you allow it too be. Be present and allow yourself to have a good time at the wedding, The last thing you really want to do is bring it up and upset the bride and groom....
If your gf is away at college and has guys of one her friends sleeping in her room with her and her roommate and she cuddles with him would you look at it as cheating or something to be mad/hurt about? Or if they slept in the same bed? Guys and girls opinions are good
It's cheating
When you are in a relationship there should never be a second person, It's about you and your partner that's it. Break up with her and move on
My niece has a secret crush on my husband. She loves to cuddle with him so I let her. I let him lay down in bed with her and hold her when she's sad or scared. She wrote a love note to him yesterday and it was really sweet. She even asked him to marry her. He gives her hugs and kisses and he plays with her too. She's upset because she knows she can't be in a real relationship with him. She thinks he's cute and funny and he is. Me and him have been married for almost 13 years. We don't have any children. She really loves him and she really wants to be with him. Every time I try to explain our marriage to her she gets upset and cries. How can I explain it to her ? She's 5 years old. He's 35 almost 36.
I agree with the user below me
Lay off on how much you allow her to be with your husband, A grown man laying in bed with a 5 year old is highly inappropriate especially seeing he is not the father of the child. The child is FIVE years old, She doesn't understand what it means to be "in love" with a man. Likely, She thinks of your husband as a father figure or someone that she trust. Allowing her to lay in bed with him in hot water. Again, She is a five year old child. She will grow out of it but please stop feeding into her obsession. Allowing her to lay in bed, Cuddle so much is going to make the situation worse then it already is.
Just before Christmas I met a guy at a party and we hit it off. Over the Christmas period we were both at home from university and for weeks we talked all the time. He made it clear that he liked me and when we got back to university we started dating. At first, I was very hesitant to get into anything serious and he was the one pushing for a relationship. Now it seems that the roles have reversed because he is suddenly telling me he thinks we need 'space'. This has come after spending nearly every day together for the past three weeks. To all intents and purposes, we are a couple and we have both agreed not to see other people.
I'm hurt that he is suddenly putting the brakes on. We've both made it clear we want a relationship and we are effectively in one, so I'm confused that he wants to 'cool it down' now. I'm tempted to cut my losses and end the whole thing because my last relationship recently ended with me getting hurt and I don't think I could deal with a repeat so soon.
What should I do?
People can want to be in a relationship but that doesn't always mean they are ready to be in one. It sounds like the guy really does like you but wants to focus on his schooling. It can be pretty difficult to juggle the two, If he wants a break then I would put it on hold for awhile. If he isn't available then he's just not available, It's your call to whether you should move on or not as I don't think it's really healthy to put yourself on hold for someone else availability. Remember, You have a life to live too and you need to do what is best for you.
im 3week pregnant
my mom doesnt want nothing to do with me
i dont have anyone else beside my sister and the father of my unborn child
im in school and dont plan on dropping out
dont have a job or any income comeing in
so my question is
what should i do?
is it legal for a mom to neglect their 16year pregnant daughter?
Adoption would be your best bet, It is in the child's best interest.
Neglecting your child is wrong, You can look into the laws of your state as many states have a law called "Safe Haven" What it means is it's legal to leave your baby at the hospital if the infant is under 30 days old.
Here is a link about The Safe Haven Law; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Safe-haven_law
Your child did not ask to be bought into the world, It deserves a chance at a good life. Seriously, Look into Adoption. If you are more comfortable then you could even look into an open adoption where you would have visitation rights with the child but please consider that this is a life and your baby deserves the best interest at heart.
Also as far as your mother goes, If your mother is showing signs of negligence then you can go to the police and explain your situation and have them take care of it. It is not right to kick out someone that is a minor and not yet classified as an independent.
Im a young girl with skin problems that are really annoying me.
I have black heads, pimples, spots, oily skin and i think i might even be getting acne.
School starts very soon! and i want better skin.
I use Nivea Visage Young Clean Deeper! wash scrub, Nivea Visage Young Stay Clear! tonic and Nivea Visage Daily Essentials shine control moisturising day cream.
First I splash my face with warm water then put a bit of the wash scrub onto my CleanPod from L'oreal Paris Perfect Clean and wash my face with that.
Then I wask that off with cold water, the use the tonic then put on the moisturiser.
Is that a good brand and routine?
BTW I do that every morning and night.
Sometimes I steam my face before I do my wash routine. and use a face mask every so often but my face hasn't seamed to make any improvements in the last 1 to 2 weeks.
Does anyone have any advice and tips for me?
Thank you sooooo much.
What is your diet? You didn't say anything about what you eat.
If you eat greasy foods, Skip it. Greasy food is known to cause acne. I would suggest going with Pro-active it is known to work great and help improve skin rashes/acne.
Link; http://www.proactiv.com/
If you wear makeup, Skip it. Any foundation, Compress powder, Cover up will cause your skin to become oily and can create pours. If you want to wear makeup I would only go with lip gloss, mascara, eye liner but skip the foundation.
Try that and see if it helps any, If not then if it's really that bad you may need to see a dermatologist.
okay me and my best friend and both of are bf's went swimming today. the weather was like 40' outside and the river was really high. we were really muddy and we asked some ppl to take a pic and they did. when we were done we all went to the bathroon to clean off and when we came back like all of our parents and grandparents were searching the park. they found our stuff we took off. so the cops were called and they were looking for us. i dont understand why they got so mad after they found us even tho we were there the whole time. well the good news is my bff, her bf and my bf are safe and sound and trying to get warm. any advice??
You seriously don't know why?
Did you tell anyone where you going? Also, Who in the right mind goes out in the 40 degree weather and goes swimming in a river?
Lack of responsibility, That's why.
me and my girl friend juat broke up because she thinks my d**K is to big, is tht such a bad thing or a bad thing at all
That is a bullshit excuse
Don't believe everything you hear, Also no it's not a bad thing.
Your (ex) girlfriend is a shallow bitch. Simply put; A women's vagina is designed to stretch so a baby can pass though the birth canal.
Find someone who accepts you for who you are and please also try and make sure she has her facts straight also.
Good luck
My grandma,and my mom seems to think I have and eating disorder,but I know I don't.
I go days without eating,and feel fine.
But my mom and dad makes me eat something,cause they think I have an eating disorder.
When I do eat,I have puke it right back up.
I don't think I have an eating disorder,but they do.
Do I?
I am not going to come out and tell you that you have an eating disorder as I am in no place to to do so.
I do know that is NOT normal to go days at a time without eating. Although you think you feel fine, Your body lacks nutrition and if you keep on going down that road you could become malnourished and your body will think you are starving itself and it will create fatty tissue that WILL make you gain weight. Have you not seen that commercial about the children in Africa?.....That is exactly what it means to be malnourished.
Your definition describes someone who is borderline anorexic, Again I am not going to label you as this as I am not a doctor. However to put it simple these are known facts about anorexia and bulimia;
Bulimia causes; Tooth decay, irregular heart beat, kidney and liver failure, hair loss, infertility and DEATH
Anorexia causes: Pretty much the same thing as bulimia.
Seriously, Make an appointment with your family doctor and seek some professional help.
Im 13/f,and my parents disapprove of who I am.
I'm a HUGE lover of music,it's my life.
I LOVE bands/artist like :Escape the Fate,Falling in Reverse,D.R.U.G.S.,Black Veil Brides,Get Scared,My chemical romance,Asking alexandria,Bring me the horizon,Vampire's Everywhere,and bands of the metal,screamo,rock,and alternative music.
I love "dark things".My favorite color is black.
I'm always learning about cults,love vampire's,and things like that.
But,my parents disapprove of my "emo" lifestyle.
They say it's "demonic".
But that's just who I am.
They've tried taking that music away from me,and "making me normal".
I've told them this is who I am,but they don't wanna hear it.
Help!
As long as you aren't out to harm yourself or anyone else, Then being who you are is perfectly fine.
Just to point in out there, Don't use the word "emo" emo refers to someone who is emotional and "emo" people tend to like to harm themselves for attention. That is not a cool way to be at all and referring to yourself as being emo is misleading.
okay im a male and i need a relationship thats fun and somethin sexy for both me and my girlfriend but i can ever find the right girl what should i do
I'm actually against dating websites so I am not going to recommend it too you.
The best way to put yourself out there is to try and get out, Participate in local events in your area.
Do you have any friends? One of the best ways to meet someone is by a mutual friend. If you go to school you could try to participate in after school activities as this is also an awesome way of meeting someone. If you want to find someone, You got to put yourself out there. You didn't state your age, Which makes it a bit harder to give proper advice.
If you are over the age of 21, You could try going to local karaoke events. These usually take place in pubs on a Friday night. A few years ago my buddies and I used to hang around a local pub that had a bowling alley indoors...Ladies love to dance and sing. Another way is surprisingly facebook, No I don't mean go around and friend random people. I mean if you know a friend who has a friend type of thing you could start off with small talk and work your way up from there. etc.
What to do with a gambler
When someone has a gambling problem, They need to want to help themselves. Unless your partner is willing to seek help for their problem there is no way to properly help that person.
If he/she is willing to get help then I recommend giving Gamblers anonymous a shot.
Here is their website:
http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/ga/index.php
They hold meetings, You can look up to see if they hold any near your local area.
There is a hotline you can call: 1-888-GA-Helps
It is a 24 hour service.
Remember, They need to want to help themselves in order to be successful.