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My niece loves my husband ?


Question Posted Sunday January 29 2012, 7:41 pm

My niece has a secret crush on my husband. She loves to cuddle with him so I let her. I let him lay down in bed with her and hold her when she's sad or scared. She wrote a love note to him yesterday and it was really sweet. She even asked him to marry her. He gives her hugs and kisses and he plays with her too. She's upset because she knows she can't be in a real relationship with him. She thinks he's cute and funny and he is. Me and him have been married for almost 13 years. We don't have any children. She really loves him and she really wants to be with him. Every time I try to explain our marriage to her she gets upset and cries. How can I explain it to her ? She's 5 years old. He's 35 almost 36.

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Sweet_LiL_Angel answered Thursday February 2 2012, 9:50 pm:
It really is just a phase and it will pass. My little cousin was that age and had a crush on me. He would tell his mother I hung the moon.

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BellaThorne answered Tuesday January 31 2012, 10:24 pm:
Oh, at her age it is normal and it is just a phase.

I suggest you try to keep her away from your husband, or take her out to dinner and tell her privately.
I hope I helped :)

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adviceman49 answered Monday January 30 2012, 9:20 am:
Your niece had a crush on her Uncle. For her age this is not a bad thing or unusual if you are a close family both in relationship and geography. At her age she does not understand the concept of love and marriage. To her it is a game so talking to her about this is confusing and frustrating. Meaning you may as well be talking to a wall for all the good it is doing. She will grow out of this phase so you really just need to monitor her and direct her interest to other places when you can.


At age 5 her cuddling in bed with your husband is becoming inappropriate. It may be meaningless to you and your husband, even to her parents. To your coworkers or others that may become aware of this it could be a red flag of child abuse or sexual abuse. This is an activity you need to redirect. As she gets older sitting on your husbands lap is another activity that will need to be redirected. Not because of anything that is being done is wrong, but because of the world we live in today and the appearance of impropriety and what other people will make of it.


My wife and brother on-law had the good fortune to have a loving Aunt and Uncle who were not able to have children. The Aunt and Uncle became a second set of parents to them, something that was very fortunate as they grew up the children of a coal miner. What their parents couldn't afford the Aunt and Uncle provided along with an abundance of extra love. You can be the same to your niece and her future siblings if you care to be.


Don't try to explain love and marriage to her right know, she just doesn't understand it. Right know she is looking for the love she is getting from you and your husband. I think in much the same way my wife and brother in-law got from their Aunt and Uncle.

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Xui answered Sunday January 29 2012, 11:33 pm:
I agree with the user below me


Lay off on how much you allow her to be with your husband, A grown man laying in bed with a 5 year old is highly inappropriate especially seeing he is not the father of the child. The child is FIVE years old, She doesn't understand what it means to be "in love" with a man. Likely, She thinks of your husband as a father figure or someone that she trust. Allowing her to lay in bed with him in hot water. Again, She is a five year old child. She will grow out of it but please stop feeding into her obsession. Allowing her to lay in bed, Cuddle so much is going to make the situation worse then it already is.

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mannequin24 answered Sunday January 29 2012, 9:27 pm:
At her age, she won't be able to completely understand the concepts of love and marriage. She's still young, most likely she will grow out of it like other phases that young kids go through. As for the time in between, all you can do is monitor her to make sure she doesn't put your husband in a bad spot. Try to limit the amount of time they spend together and try to get her interested in other things that might distract her. If she is still like this in a few years when she starts to understand more, then you have to sit down and explain to her everything, but it won't help much now to try that. I hope this helped and good luck :)

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